NOTE: Guesses in italics are only guesses;
guesses in RED are a link to the solution or substantial clues.

1. POPBITCH 03/01
(British blog) If what we heard about the dressing room activity on an old ITV light entertainment show is true, then we are very much looking forward to whichever series of The Crown will deal with the early 90s. But which member of the Royal family ended up being back there? And what on earth was all that banging noise about?
Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex

‘Trust me,’ the source expands. ‘If you saw this actress in the street, you would probably do a runner ’cause she’s such a nut. And I was dealing with nonstop emails from her.’ A friend that worked at a popular industry trade told me recently that a former B – maybe A – list actress had been banned several times from commenting on his site. ‘She would post under these weird usernames, but use emails that referenced her real name,’ I’m told. ‘It was really obvious it was her and her opinions on what was happening in the industry were ace, but the arguments with other commenters were too frequent.’ Sean Young ("Blade RUNNER") ("ACE Ventura")

This married Governor is best friends with a married college basketball coach. That friendship extends to using the same escort service.

This foreign born still one hit wonder slept with a director in order to get him to finance her latest music video. Iggy Azalea ("Savior"/directed by Colin Tilley)

This closeted A+ list singer has a new crush and wants this female foreign born A- list singer to go on tour with her in hopes something could happen between the two. Taylor Swift/Camila Cabello

This B+ list dual threat actress focuses on bad movies. Even though she is B+ list she has A+ list name recognition. She was married to an A+ lister too. That married man she has been seeing on and off for years is finally getting a divorce because his wife got sick of his lies. Look for her to push away whatever she had going on the side with this A+ list mostly movie actor and fully embrace being with the now technically married man. Katie Holmes (Tom Cruise) (Jamie Foxx)

This A- list mostly movie actress who usually exclusively focuses on comedies got her start in television. She wants to be in a new superhero movie, but part of any deal is she only has to do very very limited press. She just has severe issues doing things like that or meeting the public. Kristen Wiig ("Wonder Woman 2")

Unlike the men she yachted with when she wasn't legal, this A- list reality star did not actually have sex with this offspring until she was legal. She thinks they are exclusive except for his occasional drunken forays. He though, is planning on making his ex pregnant. The ex wants that but has not told her current boyfriend either. The ex has experience with the half sibling thing and doesn't want it for her own kids. Sofia Richie/Scott Disick/Kourtney Kardashian/Younes Bendjima

Apparently more drinking and a hookup with a guitar player led to the split of this A list country singer and her long time boyfriend. Miranda Lambert/Anderson East

This former MTV star has been threatening his ex by sending her pictures of himself with assault rifles and guns and that she will get what she deserves. There is a video she says he sent but doesn't have any more where he has an assault rifle strapped to his body while he smokes meth and then goes on a rant against her. Jenelle Evans’ husband David Eason/Olivia Leedham

"I should have killed you when I had the chance," were the only words left on a voicemail yesterday to this A- list actress. It sounded like someone distorted the voice using a computer program or autotune. Hmmm, wonder who would have access to an autotune she knows. She did turn it over to the FBI. Evan Rachel Woods
 (POSSIBLY) Marilyn Manson

12. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#10**
It is a great defense and one of the reasons this former A- list mostly television actress is so front and center right now. You could never get away with this defense at any other time so she is playing it extra hard. The audience is not a jury because she can't get up on the stand and say what she is saying now. But, she is hoping for media pressure to get the case dropped. She knows she screwed up and realizes this is a golden chance she wouldn't have received otherwise. Rose McGowan (claims Harvey Weinstein set her up)

13. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#11**
This A list legend is speaking the truth about her recent payments for acting. She gets scale and nothing more. However, one thing she is not being completely open about is that she has increased her nightly fee for what makes her a legend by close to 50% because of the acting which her agents cite when booking her. Mary J. Blige (divorce filings)

14. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#12**
This A- list dual threat actor who has a hit cable show and been involved in a huge movie franchise came out this week. I would love to know any woman he has dated since his early days in high school. I certainly have never seen him on a date with a woman. Lee Pace ("Halt and Catch Fire"; "The Hobbit"; "Guardians of the Galaxy")

15. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#13**
It was a touching sentiment, and I'm sure that her pay over the years for acting as a beard played some part in the well wishes, but she didn't do this A lister any favors in the heterosexual department because the sentiment sounded like something you would write in the yearbook of your friend rather than a person you have supposedly been hooking up with for years. Shayna Taylor (Ryan Seacrest)

16. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#14**
This former A+ list tweener who got her start in an acting/singing capacity likes to think she is the one in control of her acting offers. I mean she is in the sense she can choose between the awful movies she is offered, but no one is offering her anything with a studio behind it. She makes it seem like offers are pouring in for her acting skills. They aren't. The only offers she gets are from producers trying to make a little money by throwing her in their movie. If someone offered her a real part or a television show, she would quit this stuff she is spewing and take the job faster than you could say Mandy Moore. Miley Cyrus

17. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#15**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actor who does the superhero thing is contemplating a big reboot. The problem is his wife wants him to retire from acting because she thinks his filming and constant cheating when he films is going to end their marriage. Chris Hemsworth/Elsa Pataky ("Men in Black")

18. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/01 **#16**
Awww Shucks Rapist: If I asked you your first thoughts about this A- list mostly movie actor all of you know, you would say he is a great guy and happily married forever by any standards and not just Hollywood. You would love his movies and recognize he has been in some of the biggest movies of all time and in some of your favorite movies. Now, what if I told you, he was a serial rapist who used his power to force himself on women. Not just one woman, but many women. What if I told you, his long time good friend who is supposedly a leader of the #TimesUp movement not only knows about the women but is someone who would introduce women to the actor specifically because they wanted to meet our rapist. The good friend often times had sex with the women as a condition to him introducing them to the actor. He looked for women who were open to being submissive. Our A- list actor is aggressive and preferred if the encounter was consensual but is not going to let a no stand in his way. That aww shucks image he feels is always going to be his best defense. He thinks the women he hooks up with on the side are trash and treats them that way. He says they are disposable. So, next time you watch one of his movies or think what a great guy he is because he seems like the happy family man, think about what I have written here.
Sean Astin (Corey Feldman)

Jennifer Aniston has reportedly cut out one of her famous friends from her inner circle because she was convinced [name omitted] was leaking personal information to the media. ‘It’s common with non-famous friends and family, but a famous friend? Unbelievable.’ Chelsea Handler

20. MR. X 03/02 **#1**
This A list talk show host is saying one thing publicly about this mogul's behavior, but behind the scenes she is already making plans to throw him under the bus if anything else comes out. Kelly Ripa/Ryan Seacrest

21. MR. X 03/02 **#2**
Brotherly love? Well, not really. More of a brotherly alibi. One celebrity brother makes sure a photo of him kissing a woman gets leaked to the tabloids. Meanwhile though, the woman is actually hooking up with the other celebrity brother but he has an actress girlfriend who is already suspicious. Nice alibi. Nick Jonas/Joe Jonas/Sophie Turner (POSSIBLY Annalisa Azaredo)

22. MR. X 03/02 **#3**
This A+ list mostly movie actress is trying to make it a triumvirate of outings she has attempted in the past week. This time it was an A list host/producer she was trying to out while giving an interview. Her entire press tour for her new movie is her trying to get media outlets to run with an outing rather than her movie. Ryan Seacrest (not sure if she will talk to Ryan Seacrest on Oscars red carpet); Taylor Swift/Karlie Kloss (why aren't they friends anymore)

23. MR. X 03/02 **#4**
In horrible plastic surgery news, this former A list mostly movie actor who is an acting family debuted a heavily botoxed face this week. Dennis Quaid

24. MR. X 03/02 **#5**
Despite what he says, this talk show host not named Jimmy Fallon is a big time boozer and also has been known to mix them with pills. He just usually confines his abuse to his home so no one but his closest friends know the truth. James Corden

25. MR. X 03/02 **#6**
This A++ list celebrity has moved on from diet pills back in the day to a stronger substance now because of tolerance issues. He doesn't do it for diet, but to stay awake for long periods of time. Donald Trump

This A+ list mostly movie actor signed on for a what will be a very controversial movie for the very large paycheck and because he wants to have sex with this married foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress who he thinks will want to when she meets him. Ummm. Brad Pitt/Margot Robbie ("Once Upon A Time In Hollywood") (Charles Manson/Sharon Tate murders)

This might as well be married former A+ list athlete all of you know no matter where you live in this world hooked up with this C list celebrity and has been trying to see her more but she has been blowing him off because of his relationship status. Lance Armstrong (Anna Hansen)/Mia Khalifa

Apparently this A- list singer who used to be a tweener singer/actress can't stand to be around a certain figure in her life because of what her boyfriend made him do with the figure sexually. She says now that whenever they are around each other, the figure always wants a repeat performance so to speak and doesn't stop talking about it. Demi Lovato/Wilmer Valderrama (Danny Masterson)

She won't tell you this, but this former stripper turned celebrity turned reality star turned part-time porn star hooked up with her new boyfriend for the first time way more than a year ago. You do the math. Now she is trying to get pregnant with him even though they have only been back together a few weeks. Blac Chyna/YBN Almighty Jay

Apparently this B/B+ list mostly television actress/author has no idea her co-star was hooking up with the husband of the actress. The actress knows of another woman but not the co-star. Gabrielle Union/Dwyane Wade ("Being Mary Jane")

More money for them to share is the feeling of the remaining members of this group. The one member not performing was the one who wanted the most money and is the least talented, so they think it is a win win. "Spice Girls" (Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham)

This foreign born B+ list actor got his actress girlfriend hooked on coke. Because of his coke issues, they barely have any time for each other. Now he has his sister hooked on coke and had her orally service a guy so he could get some free coke. Charlie Heaton/Natalia Dyer ("Stranger Things") (Levi Heaton)

This washed up has been who was an awful actor to begin with married someone of his caliber acting wise. He has been cheating with multiple women while his wife has been popping pills supplied by a fading to B-/C+ list celebrity who said she was sober but apparently was lying.
Awful actor: Dean McDermott
Spouse: Tori Spelling
B/C+ list celebrity: Corrine Olympois

The long time female lover of this closeted foreign born permanent A list singer has left the singer because the singer won't come out. Now, the singer is trying to stage a hetero relationship. That is going to be very difficult when the press discovers his long line of boyfriends going back at least a decade. Celine Dion

35. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/02 **#10**
The Evil Twin: Were you a runaway teen in the late 60's and early 70's? Did you make your way to LA to try and make your fame and fortune. If you were a male teen during those times and were suitably young and suitably attractive, a female, who was also very young might come up to you and offer to buy you a meal. If you accepted, you were then fed a meal and the conversation would inevitably turn to movies and acting and the dreams of the runaway. If he seemed desperate enough for a part, our young female would give him a card and tell him to call a very good friend of hers. The very good friend was this permanent A list mostly movie actor who was past his peak on the list, but still had A+ list name recognition, much like he still enjoys to this day. Of course the young man would call. I say man, but we are talking about teens here. Anywhere from 14-16 was the sweetspot in ages that the female was told to look for. She was that same age about then. She took over the job in about 1970. Prior to that time, the job had been handled by an actress. The actress was foreign born and almost A- list. She had a very secret life including a secret marriage and a very big secret drug problem. The actor blackmailed her for many years and would force her to participate in his fetishes and find young teens for him. If she refused, the actor would have told the world about her marriage or the drugs, either of which would have ruined her career. After her suicide, the actor turned to her "adoptive daughter," who was really herself a runaway who lived with the actress and her husband and was basically their sex slave. She later had a recurring role on this long running 70's-80's television drama because she was hooking up with the at the time A+ list star of the show. Anyway, usually within hours of handing over a card, the teen boy would call the number and be told to make his way to an address in the canyons. The gate would be open to a house. In the driveway of the house would be a Rolls Royce. At the wheel of the car would be the stunt double of the permanent A list actor. Invariably the boy would ask if the driver was the actor and the driver would respond that he was the actor's evil twin. He would then tell the boy to get in the backseat. There, in the backseat would be the actor. Once the boy was in, the car would be locked and the driver would start driving. The speed of the car would pick up and the molesting would begin as soon as the car turned on to Mulholland. The boy would be forced to orally service the actor and would often be raped as well. There was no chance for the boy to escape because the car was locked. Even if he managed to get the door open, jumping would mean certain death. There was also the gun that the driver carried should the boy try and fight off the attempt. After the rape, the boy would usually be left on the side of the road, often not wearing anything other than a shirt. Apparently this went on several times a week for years.
Actress was foreign born and almost A- list: Inger Stevens
A list mostly movie actor: Charlton Heston (starred together in "The Buccaneer" in 1958)
Home and Rolls Royce: Cold Water Canyon (Rolls Royce)
Stunt double: Joe Canutt
Secret marriage: black actor Ike Jones
70's-80's television drama/A+ list star of the show:
"Little House On The Prairie"/Michael Landon
Suicide: April 30, 1970 (25 sleeping pills and a quantity of ammonia)

Dancing Boy Update: There is going to be a dancing boy short too - pretty much as it's told in the blind (albeit in a style that apes/riffs on 40s noir: voiceover, montages, double exposures - that sort of thing). We've got in mind and are reaching out to particular actor to do the v/o (dancing boy as adult), or at least direct it. He is a former kid actor turned primarily voice actor most known for a certain role in a movie (written) by the late icon of coming of age flicks. He wasn't in one of those, but it's still one of my favorites (of the icon, I mean). The character he played and I share a first name.

Dancing Boy’s first name: Kenny
Former kid actor turned primarily voice actor: Taliesin Jaffe
For a certain role in a movie (written) by the late icon of coming of age flicks: "Mr. Mom" (Kenny Butler) written by John Hughes

This A+ list singer is being accused of using a homophobic slur against an autograph seeker. She even told him that he could turn straight if he tried.

This one named singer was wasted out of her mind last night backstage at an event. She also was trying to convince everyone that the half her age guy she had attached to her hip when not sucking face with him was interested in her for something other than her dwindling money pile. Fergie (Demi Lovato "Tell Me You Love Me" World Tour - Los Angeles)

At the same event last night mentioned in #3, this married former A++ list athlete was collecting phone numbers of women. Seems as if he hasn't really changed. Kobe Bryant (Demi Lovato "Tell Me You Love Me" World Tour - Los Angeles)

This closeted foreign born A/A- list actor who has had way more success on the small screen rather than the big screen has managed to make sure his foreign born B-/C+ list actor boyfriend got roles in each of those movies so they could spend time together. This may also be why our actor has not been in a rush to find a new beard. Alexander Skarsgård/Osy Ikhile ("The Legend of Tarzan"; "The Kill Team")

This B+ list comic/actress has been in the news a lot over the past year or two but not many projects. Until she starts listening to other people and ignoring the advice that has got her in this position, no one is going to hire her for anything. Why would they want to deal with it when there are so many other options that are not going to cause possible headaches. Mo'Nique (advice from her husband Sidney Hicks)

This momager went on an article planting spree this week to try and convince the world that this B list rapper is the perfect mate for the A list reality star with a very lucrative side gig. Oh, and something doesn't count as a gift from someone else if you pay for it and pick it out yourself and the other person doesn't even know you are doing it. Kylie Jenner/Travis Scott ($1.4 Ferrari "push present")

This B+ list actress is still not old enough to vote, but she is a series regular on two shows and for the past year has been secretly hooking up with a producer in his 30's. They used to be super careful but as that 18th birthday gets closer, they have been more and more public about the relationship. What the actress might not want to know is that the producer tried to force himself on a teenager even younger than our actress. The producer was then sued and quickly settled out of court before his current employer discovered it. Yara Shahidi (Zoey Johnson "Grown-ish" and "Black-ish")

This newly married foreign born A list model orally serviced this foreign born, very rich A+ list celebrity/mogul last night in his car after a party. Emily Ratajkowski/Elon Musk (pre-Oscar WME party)

45. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/03 **#10**
I never thought I would be saying this, but this foreign born permanent A++ list singer needs rehab again. He is abusing pills that he started taking after an injury two years ago. At some point in the last year he started taking more and more. I don't think he wants anyone to know he messed up again. Elton John

46. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/03 **#11**
Think about if you would stick around with someone if they did this to you. Dinner this week. Permanent A list musician and A- list mostly television actress who has a new gig across the country beginning soon which would take her away from the musician. So, what does he do? Hits on the waitress in front of the actress and gets the phone number of the waitress and her social media. Says he can get her some work singing and they should go out to dinner the next night. Such a tool. David Foster/Katharine McPhee

47. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/03 **#12**
This B+ list offspring thinks of himself as a huge star. The only reason he gets B+ list is because of his name. He loves to talk about how no one will talk to him anymore because he is competition to them. The reason they don't talk to him is he is annoying and is always asking to work with them and talks a very big game but doesn't actually follow through. They all think he is spoiled. Jaden Smith (Will and Jada Pinkett Smith)

48. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/03 **#13**
This former A- list mostly television actress who is probably B- on the acting list right now but is currently a solid A list as far as name recognition goes because of the way she has been in the news the past six months is not helping her narrative any when she is in public and crazy wasted. Rose McGowan

49. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/03 **#14**
This foreign born former A- list mostly movie actress is a solid A list in her home country and has been for well over two decades. Back in the day she made a movie with this long time A- list dual threat actor who specializes in comedies. I'm not sure he has ever done anything other than a comedy. Anyway, he had casting approval and wanted to have sex with the actress so he cast her. The thing is, once the movie started filming, she started hooking up with a different actor on the film. Our A- list actor then referred to her as a w***e for the rest of the filming. He also called her a lot of other names and since he was one of the writers too, added in a sex scene during filming and some other love scenes too, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor. Sophie Marceau (French)/David Spade ("Lost & Found")

This recently evicted former A+ list singer who should be on a sex offender register has been known to wave money in the face of women who are desperate to make ends meet, especially single moms working multiple jobs. He tells them he will give them the money in his hand if they have sex with him. They do and he just leaves without paying them anything. The guy is an awful human being. R. Kelly

This agency head is scared he has not crossed all his t's and dotted all his i's and that a woman will come forward and expose him or one of his underlings for their previous behavior. He has a team of a dozen people who randomly listen in on phone conversations of all employees and monitor e-mails. Of course none of his clients know he is doing this and would probably take a walk from the agency if they did know. Jim Toth/Creative Artists Agency (Reese Witherspoon’s husband)

We have always known this former A+ list rapper is an a-hole. The way he treats his kids and mothers of those kids should have shown that. He cares about nothing but himself and this week added a bunch of new haters to his long list of haters for his comments about a rival. There is no one who will want to work with our former A+ list rapper now. 50 Cent on his comments about Rick Ross

This A+ list mostly movie actor wasn't told by his best friend, but he was told by this foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress who is a former and future co-star that he still had coke under his nose. Our actor managed to wipe it away before the cameras could get a photo or see his former A list actor best friend laughing away. Leonardo DiCaprio/Margot Robbie/Lukas Haas

At a party this weekend, this showrunner who has generally focused his attention to one family of networks before recently making a switch spent a good five minutes ranting about a woman he refers to as a "b**ch," and that he hopes will die soon. Yeah, nice guy. Ryan Murphy (FX to Netflix) (Olivia de Havilland, 101, suit over her portrayal by Catherine Zeta-Jones in last year’s docudrama "Feud: Bette and Joan")

Yes, that was a low six figure "donation," by this A list mogul all of you know that led to an organization changing its mind about a decision involving someone close to the mogul.

This permanent A list rapper and his equally accomplished wife will be throwing an Oscar bash. If they threw it last year, it certainly would have included this disgraced producer as a distinguished guest or even guest of honor. People seem to forget the rapper and producer had a production deal together and that the rapper often supplied the producer with women, some of whom, the rapper had also been with in the past. Jay Z/Beyoncé/Harvey Weinstein ("Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story")

This foreign born A+ list actress on her own country was murdered by her husband. He has a much much younger girlfriend he wants to marry. Sridevi (Boney Kapoor)

Kept Man: Many of you will be watching the Academy Awards tonight. One person who won't be watching is a former A list celebrity in his corner of the entertainment world. He is dead. He was murdered. Back in the day when he was at his peak looks and popularity, he still didn't make as much money as someone would in mainstream entertainment. He did however have a long time benefactor who paid the bills and gave our celebrity an allowance each month that was considerable. The benefactor was the mogul who seems to pop up so often in these stories with the violent endings. At this point in his life, our celebrity was not doing very well financially and was all set to tell his tales. It was going to be a book. As part of the process of the book writing, word got back to our mogul. He offered some money to the celebrity to drop the whole idea, but the money was a pittance compared to the advances that publishers had been offering. Within two weeks of the mogul hearing about the book deal, our celebrity was dead. Billy Herrington (gay adult film actor)/David Geffen

59. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/04 **#10**
The D list celebrity sister of this former A+ list athlete turned reality star says that more than once she has had threesomes with her brother and women he has picked up at bars. Megan and Ryan Lochte

60. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/04 **#11**
This closeted NBA star finally found a beard who is perfectly happy pretending to be his girlfriend for that nice big monthly check. She has never been more in demand as a model and owes it all to being a beard. Chandler Parsons/Cassie Amato

61. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/04 **#12**
This foreign born A list model/wannabe actress might be the girlfriend of this A+ list mostly movie actor but it didn't stop her from hooking up with a different A+ list mostly movie actor yesterday afternoon. Irina Shayk/Bradley Cooper/Brad Pitt

62. TAMARA TATTLES 03/05 **#1**
This currently filming show is having a rough filming season. When you are on a reality show that keeps getting picked up, you start to think the gravy train will never end. At some point, this one or that one decides they don’t have to film with anyone they don’t want to. They start to feel like they don’t have to get out of bed in the morning to make a TV show. Everyone is very sweaty. There is one who is being an adult and is tired of most of the rest of them. The rest can’t be bothered to follow the production schedule. Things have been shaken up a bit, but storylines are scarce. Most of the cast has a very inflated ego and feel like filming should revolve around them rather than showing up to shoots in a timely manner. They don’t seem to take into account the cost of a production team showing up while they are still in bed. Sleeping on camera is not interesting. Especially when it is most of them. Corporate headquarters is fully invested of keeping this show around. This group needs to get serious about the show or they will lose it. Once you quit your job to be on a reality show… What do you do when it ends? I don’t think this group wants to find out. Somebody needs to actually acquire a baby, or get married, go to rehab or get arrested. Drinking and arguing and sleeping around is not really a storyline forever. This show has lost the essence of what the show was supposed to be about. The good news is that that one hold out is back on the payroll.

Show: "Real Housewives of Orange County"
Adult: Vicki Gunvalson (the only one with a real job) (sweaty: Cut Fitness owner)
Hold out: (Gretchen Rossi)

63. TAMARA TATTLES 03/05 **#2**
This reality show participant on a show that is filming now has adopted a child. They are trying to keep the news under wraps but the streets are talking. The baby was adopted at three weeks. It is six weeks old now. Despite being adopted, the baby boy bears a very strong resemblance to his adopted family. Brandi Redmond ("Real Housewives of Dallas")

Tradition was broken last night at the Academy Awards when Casey Affleck declined to present the Best Actress category and was replaced by the female duo of Oscar-winners, Jennifer Lawrence and Jodie Foster. One A list actor was furious about change, lamenting Hollywood and the Academy for pressuring Casey to stand down and trying to present a "feminist agenda". ‘Now they’re all fucking feminist heros,’ a source quotes the actor as saying. ‘They were the fucking people that knew about that bastard [Weinstein] and still supported him.’ Gary Oldman

OSCARS: This A- list mostly television comic actress who has a streaming show and had a recent public split was hammered out of her mind at an after party and was doing her best to shove her tongue down the throat of this former A+ list mostly television actor from a now defunct cable program. He also likes to go commando a lot. Sarah Silverman (Michael Sheen)/Jon Hamm

OSCARS: This aging Academy Award winner who has a franchise was at an after party with a woman who was about a quarter his age. Apparently she was talking to someone age appropriate. He grabbed her arm and started yelling at her that she "belonged" to him for the night. Jon Voight ("Ray Donovan")

OSCARS: The male subject of #1 was seen really trying hard to land a job from this showrunner who signed that new expensive deal. Our actor was introduced by an actress staple of the showrunner's family. Jon Hamm/Ryan Murphy/Sarah Paulson

OSCARS: This selfie loving A- list model tried to get naked for an official type photo from an after party and they were having none of it. When she later tried to do a topless selfie thing at the same party, they warned her they would be kicking her out if she tried again. Emily Ratajkowski (2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones)

OSCARS - Himmmm: Was kind of hoping to see this one erupt into an epic cat fight. The most shocking bad comment and most epic mic drop of the night both occurred in the same confrontation. Before the ceremony even began. This (aging permanent A list actress who used to be mostly movies and is now mostly almost television) was relishing the spotlight and happy to speak her thoughts, without a filter, regardless of how inappropriate those thoughts were. When (this foreign born A list mostly movie actress who had a very big box office year) walked over to pay respects and introduce herself, the older actress was so sweet to her. When the younger actress walked away, the legend turned to an assistant and judgmentally sneered: "That's her? That's the one they made such a fuss about? I guess we know how SHE got HER starring roles. At least when I started we had to have talent. Guess she's a member of the right 'tribe', or rode the right 'members'." She said it a bit louder than she thought, because this (foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) was very close behind her. She stepped right up to the older legend and said (while smiling): "She got her roles by being a hard working actress, not by riding her family's coattails or riding some French director. Why don't you get your ass back in your coffin before sunrise, you racist bitch." Then she pivoted, and walked off without a word. Wow, and WOW.
Aging permanent A list actress: Jane Fonda
Foreign born A list actress: Gal Gadot (Israeli)
Foreign born A/A- list actress: Salma Hayek

OSCARS: This foreign born A list DJ was seen at an after party huddled with this closeted A list reality star with a side gig. He has played the game before and she is always up for a distraction for the press. Calvin Harris (Taylor Swift)/Kendall Jenner

OSCARS: This B/B- list mostly television actor at an after party who is only that high because of the ensemble show he is on right now was minus his higher on the list wife last night at the party. Apparently he took that as a sign he could hit on other women. He was very subtle and made sure to tell the women they needed to keep everything hush hush. He also was telling the women that his marriage is on the rocks. There was a model there who fell for his story and he invited her to come visit him on set. Mark Consuelos (Kelly Ripa) ("Riverdale")  (Kelly Rohrbach) (2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones)

OSCARS: This A- list mostly movie actor with a vowel to begin his first and last name kicked his girlfriend out of the area at an after party where he was standing to get his picture taken by the press. He said to her that she should know better. Real treasure this guy. Ansel Elgort

OSCARS: JV swears to me that she walked past this talk show host twice to tell him that he was an a-hole and that even after she did that, a wrangler tried to get her to go on camera with him. She told them they didn't want any part of that. Ryan Seacrest

74. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#10**
OSCARS - Himmmm: This (former back in the day A+ list mostly movie actress) sneered while looking at (this A list celebrity/athlete): "What is SHE doing here? Are they stooping that low now? This is supposed to be for elite professionals in our craft." The lady beside her (A-/B+ list mostly movie actress from an acting family who is also an Oscar nominee/winner) looked as if she wanted to crawl under something and hide. When I complimented her on her dress and her 'date' for the night, she said with a very sheepish grimace: "You're welcome to take my place if you want". Don't think it was her idea for the PR reunion.

A+ list mostly movie actress: Ashley Judd
A-/B+ list mostly movie actress from an acting family: Mira Sorvino
A list celebrity/athlete: Lindsey Vonn

75. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#11**
OSCARS: This B+ list celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister was wasted when she arrived solo at an after party. She thought she was attending with the celebrity she has been seeing, but that celebrity is already hooking up with other women. Our offspring is constantly just used and thrown away like trash and one of these days something is going to snap inside her. Paris Jackson (Cara Delevingne)

76. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#12**
OSCARS: The handlers for this A- list mostly television actress from a hit almost television show had a list of topics that could not be asked by press on the red carpet that was so long that most press just chose to not have her stop at all. Elisabeth Moss ("The Handmaid's Tale")

77. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#13**
OSCARS: At this after party, this former A list mostly movie actress who has stumbled and bumbled her way through one horrible television show after the other for the past decade or so who is going through a crushing divorce broke down several times. There is a lot of love for her and last night people took turns lifting up her spirits. It was a great thing to see. Alicia Silverstone

78. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#14**
OSCARS: When this permanent A+ list mostly movie actress was asked a #YouKnew type question, the actress said, "We're done here," and walked off. Meryl Streep

79. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#15**
OSCARS - Himmmm: There's a hidden-away service entrance door off to the side of the theater, and many attendees use it to sneak out and grab a smoke or take a break from the stuffy ceremony. This (A- list mostly movie actor who is an Oscar winner/nominee) was out there when I walked out, smoking something that wasn't tobacco. "Glaucoma's getting' worse" he said with a grin. While we were relaxing, discussing new ways to split the atom, this (A list mostly movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) came outside with a total jerk in tow. I didn't know his name, but he was not her date. He was an aspiring horrible comic was my guess. He's trying to make jokes, and I can see the actress getting uncomfortable and the blazing actor getting a real sarcastic look on his face. The horrible comic kept reaching to pull the actress' top open, and she'd smack his hand telling him to stop. Seriously. I seriously told him that was not nice, and he should knock it off. He laughed and said she didn't mind, and she crossed her arms looking embarrassed. The idiot then says: "Somebody should slip Kimmel a note to alert all the women that Harvey just arrived and he's holding auditions backstage on a couch". Ha-fu@%king-ha. The guy then pulls out a vial of white powder and does a bump right there on his hand, much to the actress' horror. He says: "That Lupi-tiya Oblongo. Or Loop My Dongo, or whatever…she's fine. If you could Face-filter her about 50 shades lighter to Halle Berry's color she'd be smoking hot! Fifty shades of Laid!". I saw the chilled-out actor start to get upset now. The actress stalks off down the walkway away from him. "I think she's gorgeous like she is", I said. Mr. Idiot says: "I'd still do her, don't get me wrong, give her some hot slow-jam lovin'." Yeah, a regular Barry White romantic. After more of this, the chilled-out actor motions for me to re-enter with him, turns to the actress and says: "You okay? You wanna go back with us?'. She declined. The actor turns to the idiot and says: "You're not funny man. You're a total asswipe and the reason so many women have to put up with all this sh!t. That sh&t you're saying is as bad as the crap the writers wrote for this show tonight." The idiot just stared with a stupid grin on his face. Walking back inside, I asked who that jackass was. "Can't remember his name, but he's a writer for tonight's show." I laughed, thinking he was kidding. He wasn't. I don't think he'll have to worry about writing for next year's show. When we returned, both the actor and I stopped in the foyer and messaged the top production officials of the show to express our disgust.
A- list mostly movie actor Oscar winner/nominee: Woody Harrelson or Matthew McConaughey
A list mostly movie actress Oscar winner/nominee: Emma Stone

80. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#16**
OSCARS: This A-/B+ list closeted mostly television actor who has had a good month or two on television as of late and probably will get an Emmy nomination for it told a story last night which he made a blind. He says he hooks up with a closeted Under Secretary each time he goes to Washington D.C. Darren Criss (Andrew Cunanan "American Crime Story")

81. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#17**
OSCARS: This recent A list athlete was being an a-hole to just about everyone he came into contact with. I think this recent fame is going to his head. Adam Rippon

82. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#18**
OSCARS: A frequent companion to the person in #17 is someone just about equally as famous. She was passed out drunk at an after party. It only took about two drinks to get her wasted. Mirai Nagasu

83. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#19**
OSCARS: This B+ list dual threat actress almost got into a fight with another actress over who was going to mark a milestone on the red carpet. Our B+ lister said she took a lesser pay raise for a new movie just to have the honor. She ended up with the prize so to speak. Sofia Carson (first to walk the red carpet at Oscars this year)

84. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#20**
OSCARS - Himmmm: This (A+ list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee) approached this (married A list mostly movie director) during the ceremony, backstage. She seemed a little "off", but was very pleasant. Without any small talk, she was almost hovering over him, gently stroking his arm. She said she really wants to work with him, and would be MORE THAN HAPPY to meet with him anytime…anywhere, to discuss it. She's just such a big fan of his work she said, and knows that "working under (him)" would be a experience for them both. "I'm fearless in my acting, and there is NOTHING I won't try. Nothing", she said softly. After clearing his throat, the director said that his next project was very similar to one she's already done and so she'd likely not want to repeat it. (Which is total b.s. but thought it would deter her). Contrary, she said. "I could do that in my sleep. You're welcome to watch me sleep if you want." She laughed, and asked him to please call or message her – not her agent. He said he'd think about it, excused himself quickly, and tried not to explode laughing. She's subtle. Real subtle.
Jennifer Lawrence/Paul Thomas Anderson

85. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#21**
OSCARS: Apparently this former A+ list mostly movie actress was supposed to have a date last night to an after party. The former Oscar winner told people she and her date had sex earlier in the day and everything was good so she had no idea why he didn't want to go to the party. Later, when asked more about it she did concede they got into a little argument about whether to eat or not prior to going out and that she may have thrown a plate at him. Halle Berry

86. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#22**
OSCARS: This foreign born B list mostly movie actress who only gets that high because of very recent success was really upset yesterday that her new A- list actor boyfriend refused to attend the awards with her. He isn't ready to go public. Eiza Gonzalez ("Baby Driver")/Josh Duhamel

87. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#23**
OSCARS: This permanent A lister was doing great at the awards, but the comic actor was doing a lot less great after the show. He didn't even go into one after party because the entire time he was at that venue he stood outside and smoked meth. Dave Chappelle

88. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#24**
OSCARS: Everyone who witnessed this felt so bad for this recent A list mostly movie actress who seems to be everywhere. She met this permanent A list mostly movie actor who she considers one of her idols. The aging actor who had his time in the movie spotlight decades ago had no idea who the actress was when she told him that he is one of her idols. He just nodded in a way that indicated he didn't know who she was and had no idea why she was even backstage.
Tiffany Haddish/Warren Beatty

89. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#25**
OSCARS - Himmmm: All during the ceremony, there were technical difficulties throughout the entire theatre. Before the presentation of all the big award categories, for exactly 15 minutes, all cell and internet service inside the auditorium would shut off. BLIP! Just like a disconnected phone or web router at your house. After the presentation? Service would resume. This continued all night long, and drove many of the attendees insane. Turns out that _____________________ did NOT want to leave anything to chance, and have a repeat of last year's screw-ups for big awards. So he hired a very special technology company to be on hand, working in the control room with him. They'd been there the entire week before the event, doing work as one of a trillion technical staff for video, computers, etc. But all night long, during the ceremony, at least 15 minutes before the winners in major categories were announced, the Producer would turn to his guy in the control room, who would then signal a technician. And 'Bob's yer Uncle' – service went off. Then on. Then off, and on. Nobody wanted to complain to the Academy, and make it seem like they weren't paying attention to the show. At least it worked – no award errors THIS year. Michael De Luca

90. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#26**
OSCARS: Multiple people said that this permanent A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner looked not well. She said she was recovering from the flu, but others were whispering that she has something much more serious. She seemed to be in a lot of pain. Sandra Bullock

91. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#27**
OSCARS: Lots and lots of whispers and buzz about the continued public absences of this foreign born A list mostly action movie actor and his supposed significant other who is a foreign born A- list model/wannabe actress. There she was again last night, completely alone. She insists that everything is fine, but it isn't. Jason Statham/Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

92. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#28**
OSCARS: This A-/B+ list mostly movie actress/spokesperson all of you know was really tipsy last night. She does not let go in public very much at all. She did though, and then shared a creeper story about a soon to be former in-law that confirms every single theory of the guy ever. Jennifer Garner (Casey Affleck)

93. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#29**
OSCARS: This foreign born A+ list singer tried to bring in a dozen people to this after party. After 20 minutes of trying, he had to settle for three being allowed in with him. The remaining nine all jammed inside one SUV and hotboxed the hell out of it until the A+ lister returned. Drake (2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones)

94. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#30**
OSCARS - Himmmm: Three ladies, including (#1 A list dual threat actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee) and (A- list dual threat actress who is an offspring and had a great television year) were standing in the foyer, talking very quietly. About that time, this (foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress) walks by, says a quick "hello", and walks away as she…cuts a very obvious fart. Yep, ripped one and kept on walking like she didn't notice. The stunned ladies didn't know what to say, or ignore it or what. Then #1 pipes up and says: "Why hold it in when you can share it with a friend?". All three of the ladies burst out laughing like kids. They quickly returned to the auditorium – but through a different entrance to avoid the jet-wash.

2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones

#1 A list dual threat actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee: Viola Davis
A- list dual threat actress who is an offspring and had a great television year: Laura Dern
Foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress: Emily Blunt

95. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#31**
OSCARS: This A list mogul made his barely a celebrity wife go to a party with him last night even though she found out earlier this week he has been having an affair. This has happened to her before in a different marriage. Jimmy Iovine/Liberty Ross (Rupert Sanders’ affair with Kristen Stewart)

96. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#32**
OSCARS: After wading through all the reports and tips, it appears the female coke champion from last night was this foreign born B+ list mostly television actress who was around last night for a nominated movie of which she was a part. She is also the kind of person who was rude to everyone unless she thought you were higher on the list or could do her a favor.

97. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#33**
OSCARS: The winner on the men'd side for most coke use went to this actor who has won the award many times. He is A- list and has been a part of multiple franchises. He was nice enough to share though with not only his girlfriend, but anyone who asked. Miles Teller/Keleigh Sperry (award for most "coke user")

98. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#34**
OSCARS: One of the more rude comments someone overheard last night was directed towards this groundbreaking female talent who broke a barrier. She was upset at losing and some old cranky guy said she needed to wait her turn and get in line. Rachel Morrison (Best Achievement in Cinematography "Mudbound")

99. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#35**
OSCARS - Himmmm: At an after party, this (A+ list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee) was trying to remain composed while talking to (this former A list mostly movie actress who is from an entertainment family) who was pawing and clawing all over him. In front of his wife. This actress thought it was 1998 again, and was making very cringe-worthy remarks to us both. He rolled his eyes about her so many times, I thought he was having seizures. The wife finally walked off. When the actress was laughing and reminiscing about a crazy drunken thing we three did one night many years ago (and got in big trouble over), she said: "You guys want to re-live a fond memory tonight?". The actor smiled, turned to her and said: "I'd love to – but I'm married and besides…he and I are gonna come out of the closet any day now". He grabbed my hand romantically and led me off. I looked back at the actress standing there frozen, mouth open, looking like she'd seen a ghost. We ALMOST made it through the doors before we heaved in laughter. (For the record? We're not. Not that there's anything wrong with that whatsoever. We just didn't want to re-live ANYTHING with her. Ever). Ashley Judd/Matthew McConaughey

100. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#36**
OSCARS: This A- list mostly television actor from a hit cable show who is an Emmy winner won the award for strangest behavior last night, At an after party he was convinced people were following him. He accused multiple people of recording conversations. He acted as if someone was going to kidnap him any second. The paranoia level was on super high. Rami Malek

101. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#37**
OSCARS: Apparently this foreign born B- list celebrity wife of this A+ list mostly movie actor gained 10 pounds between her final fitting and yesterday. The designer had to remove a seam and then sew the celebrity/host into the dress. Camila Alves/Matthew McConaughey

102. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#38**
OSCARS - KINDNESS: Yes, she was tipsy, and quite possibly headed to drunk, but this former A list 80's star who works a lot behind the cameras now wrote a check for $2500 to a student filmmaker she met yesterday at a party to help with her tuition. Lea Thompson

103. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#39**
OSCARS: This A+/A list mostly television actress probably deserves A+ list for the length of the hit network show on which she stars, but there are so many people on it, that she is probably an A. Anyway, she and her a-hole of a husband got into a screaming match just inside the door of an after party after faking it down the red carpet. Apparently when they got to the carpet, a model her husband cheated on our actress was there and gave the husband a hug right in front of our actress wife. Ellen Pompeo ("Grey’s Anatomy")/Chris Ivery

104. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#40**
OSCARS - Himmmm: It's been many, many years since we'd all been together at once, and we were all very close more than 20 years ago. It began as I was standing and talking with this (permanent A list mostly movie actress) after the ceremony, and it brought back a lot of memories. I could fill 100 blogs with those stories! Families, laughs, wild and good times. A short while later this (A+ list mostly movie actor) joined us too. Which led us to talking about being on a movie set in the 1990's of (a movie based on a book); and the director of it and things we've heard about him. They too had heard the same awful things, especially about the director and this (former A-/B+ list mostly movie actor). The actress told me something has always haunted her about that young actor, and the director, and another adult actor. Then the actress floored me with what she said. Back then she was interviewed by investigators over 20 years ago about the director and this adult actor, (disgraced former A list mostly movie actor), concerning abuse of local boys. It was allegedly covered up by this (A list author). It was about something the director and adult actor did while casting local boys back during the making of that one movie we were all (unfortunately) a part of back then. She said she didn't see anything happen by the director, but may have seen something she wasn't supposed to concerning the actor. She said the writer was being investigated then for accusations of using his considerable local legal "pull" in the locations of that film to shut down an investigation. She was asked about it, and answered truthfully, but the entire case disappeared. Which explains the writer's desire to move to another state not long after. My actor friend said he too had been contacted by investigators back then about the director, but had forgotten all about it until now. The thought made all three of us sick. We agreed to reunite in a few months when our schedules allow, and try to find out what happened to those investigations, the boys, and if the writer did indeed shut down those cases to protect the director (whose movies were a big revenue stream which made the writer very wealthy). We want to do this, not for a movie or television show, but for the memory of that dead young actor. This will not be the end of it I assure you.

Movie based on a book: "A Time To Kill"
A list author/desire to move to another state not long after: John Grisham (Oxford, Mississippi, and a home near Charlottesville, Virginia)
Permanent A list mostly movie actress: Sandra Bullock
A+ list mostly movie actor: Matthew McConaughey
Director (whose movies were a big revenue stream which made the writer very wealthy): Joel Schumacher ("The Client")
Disgraced former A list mostly movie actor: Kevin Spacey

Dead former A-/B+ list mostly movie actor: Brad Renfro ("The Client" written by John Grisham and directed by Joel Schumacher)

105. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#41**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A-/B+ list mostly movie actor with the higher on the list wife was boozing again last night at a party. Never a good thing for him. His wife was understandably ticked, but didn't say a word in front of anyone. Joe Manganiello/Sofia Vergara

106. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#42**
OSCARS - MR. X: The world's worst dadager crashed an A list Oscar viewing party and then bid on a charity item which he doesn't have the money to pay for. Joe Jackson (26th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Academy Awards Viewing Party)

107. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#43**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A- list mostly movie actress who is a multiple Oscar winner/nominee talks a good game about #Time'sUp but she partied last night with one of the biggest enablers on the planet. She knows it but doesn't care. Emma Stone or Jennifer Lawrence/Judd Apatow (James Franco)

108. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#44**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A list actor/theatre star was miffed last night that he was asked by this A- list actress to pose for photos. Hey, she is the one who took a break from looking for a new bearding contract to take the photo. Lin-Manuel Miranda/Olivia Munn

109. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#45**
OSCARS - Himmmm - KINDNESS: My companion for the evening just witnessed the most glorious act of kindness I've seen or heard since one at the Golden Globes. She had to wipe the tears away to tell me what she witnessed when she came from the rest rooms. This (foreign born permanent A-/B+ list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee) walked into the lobby near the end of the ceremony. While waiting for someone, he recognized a young man he'd seen running around the ceremony inside all night, and called him over. The actor asked him who he was, but the young man said he's not supposed to fraternize with the attendees. The actor waved his hand, "Hell with all that. Who are you? I've seen you running all over all night. You're an employee?", the actor asked. The young man nervously said he was working a temp job as a seat filler tonight; that he is a scholarship student at UCLA film school; and originally from a small town in Alabama…but is honestly finding it too hard to break in to the movies as a hopeful director without knowing "the right people". The actor pulled out his glasses, put them on, and took an envelope from his coat pocket. He removed two small cards (which he tucked back into his coat), and handed the envelope to the young man. The confused student looked through the contents. Inside was a stack of VIP passes to the Governor's Ball; the Vanity Fair after party; and a dozen other tickets and free vouchers for swag. The actor told the speechless student: "If they give you any shit? Tell them you're my grandson and they'll have to answer to me." The student was dumbstruck, and kept thanking the actor over and over. The actor just smiled and waved his hand in the air, saying: "Here's some advice: remember, keep your ears open and mouth closed. Learn all you can. Don't be shy and go make some new contacts. Believe in yourself, and always be respectful to everyone no matter what they look like or where they're from. Then when your time comes to be invited to one of these fancy things? You do a favor to someone else who deserves it. Good luck, son." The actor's date had emerged from the restroom, and they strolled arm-in-arm out of the exits. The smiling student wiped the tears from his eyes and whispered "Thank you" to the old man. My companion stepped over, handed the young man a producer's business card, and told him to contact the number when he has a demo reel to share. The appreciative student floated back into the auditorium. Christopher Plummer (wife Elaine Taylor)

110. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#46**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A+ list mostly movie actress and this A+/A list mostly movie actress were supposed to go to an after party together. They didn't because the higher ranked actress was being a royal pain and the two were about to have a real fight which would have been ugly. Sometimes the higher ranked actress just pushes things way too far with her words and actions. Jennifer Lawrence/Emma Stone

111. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#47**
OSCARS - MR. X: One of the biggest parties by fame anyway, was also one of the smallest in number. Our favorite foreign born B+ list singer/actress thought she would have no problems getting in. She was wrong. The singer/actress was denied at the door and told it was courtesy of this permanent A list singer who was kind of hosting it with her husband. Rita Ora/Beyoncé/Jay Z

112. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/05 **#48**
Oscars - The Last Dance - A Himmmm Blind: There I was tonight at the big after party. This was the big after party that most of the older crowd went to, and was very formal. They even had a real big band playing low music and formal waiters. Where the winners and youngsters would drop by, before running off to the wilder, louder parties raging all night. My date was out doing her thing, and I was sitting there by myself at a semi-empty table, pretty exhausted, just having a drink and trying to relax a minute. The jazz music was playing, lights were fairly dim there, and just sort of staring into space, thinking. The bow tie was very untied by now. I heard a voice, and saw a pretty young lady asking if she could bother me a moment. She said someone would like to meet me. Sure, why not? She walked around the divider and emerged escorting a beautiful, classy, and elegant older lady. I knew her from the moment she smiled that this was the star of two of arguably the best movies ever made. Oh, that smile. Some things never fade with age. I arose, and she spoke softly – but with that voice still clear. She apologized for intruding, but she'd heard from someone else that I was here. Did I know her? Of course. Could she join me? Of course. The young lady helped her to the chair, and we sat there – those beautiful eyes, sparkling and powerful – still stunning. She said she knew some relatives of mine, and just wanted to thank me for the help they gave to her in her early career. She recalled my great-grandmother's pasta and that she otherwise may have starved as a struggling actress on Broadway in the "old days". She remembered meeting me when I was a child. So precocious, such a head of hair. I told her at least I was still precocious. She asked if I recalled dancing with her at an Independence Day party 25 years ago? I did indeed and was amazed she could remember me or that party. I was a young lad of around 20 back then and recall drinking all the wine myself. She said our dancing back then made her feel young again, the way she did when she danced with this (permanent A+ list mostly movie actor), nicknamed "C". Wow. She told me she thought she made Liz Taylor jealous that night, because I danced with her more than I did Liz. I laughed, and told her I thought the world of them both. I complimented her on all of her films, and her entire life of grace, elegance, and beauty. Such a subtle power in her performances, like a velvet chainsaw. She and I talked for a long, long, time. About this (permanent A+ list mostly movie director), and about (permanent A++ list mostly movie actor), and about (foreign born permanent A+ list director). Like a conversation we'd returned to from decades before, just so at ease. The more we talked, laughed, and remembered...the more I noticed she'd hold my hand longer. She'd rest her head on my shoulder periodically, and touch my arm. She said how badly she missed those days of her youth, of feeling as if there's nothing she couldn't do if she desired. If she could only go back 60 years, or even 30. She told me she'd give "all these flirty-skirty girls here" a run for their money. I believed her. "And why do they all seem hypnotized by their phones? Looking down all the time? It must be hell on their posture", she said. I agreed. I noticed her young escort would peek around over at us, checking on her. I didn't want to end this special moment with this most legendary of all ladies on this night, but I didn't want to keep her from obligations or rest. I told her that we should get together soon, and have lunch. She said she'd like that. She said she was sorry, didn't want to impose, but…well, could we dance again? Just one more time? To do a favor for a silly old woman? I told her it would be MY honor, pleasure, and a favor to ME. She smiled warmly back at me. It took a while, but we gently, slowly, strolled our way to the dance floor there at the party, strung up with dim white lights. The big band music was playing slow jazz numbers, and I motioned for a waiter. I handed him two very large bills, and told him to keep one and give the other to the band leader to play a special song – IF he knows that tune. Any big band musician should know it. The waiter did so, and I escorted this beautiful legend to the middle of the floor. Thankfully, it was not early in the party so I wasn't worried about photographers. Most of the big current celebs had already scattered. Even so – this party had an unwritten rule most attendees adhered to about selfies, photos, and privacy. People began to step back, giving us room. Some smiled warmly, and others politely began to back off the floor. Then behold, the band earned their money. The song - Glenn Miller's famous Moonlight Serenade – started playing, and her entire face lit up. "I KNOW this SONG!" she said with a brilliant smile as if she'd just won an Oscar. I had hoped she would recall, for it is what we danced to years ago. She leaned into me, and I held her gently. We began to dance, as she rested her cheek on my chest. There was no one alive I'd rather been dancing with at that moment, to that song, in that place. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me…smiling with her eyes. Not a patronizing smile, but with something behind those flawless eyes that I could not quite recognize. Something far younger than her current years. She was not there with me in 2018. She was in another place, another time, with someone else. I held her, moved with her, and even spun her slowly as she laughed like a young girl. She could still move, and her movements flowed seamlessly like anyone who had been trained to dance. I didn't want this dance to end, and wish I'd tipped the band to play all night. I had forgotten the crowd. When the song ended, I noticed people had left us alone to dance; and were all standing around the dance floor. A loud wave of clapping and cheers erupted. She held her hand over her mouth in embarrassment, almost blushing, and hid her face and her wide smile. Everyone in that party felt the same as I – to witness a legend still in full bloom. The band played on, others filled the floor to dance, and I held her arm. She stood tall and I leaned down and she whispered to me, very softly, the words I can still here at this moment: "Thank you, so much (C)." Wow. She had called me by this legendary man's name. I wasn't about to correct her, and didn't know how she meant it - or to whom she meant it. I am no C, but even if for a moment it allowed her to be reminded of a dance she shared with him? It was I who was flattered. Her young lady escort came over to help us, and I thanked my elegant friend for such a magical moment. I kissed her on the cheek, and she mine. I held her stare for a very long time, as it melted into a new smile. "Thank you for…for everything", she said. "You will keep in touch now won't you?", I teased. Her only reply, "We'll meet again my dear, we will meet again." Something inside of me felt sure we would – in this life, or the next. With that, she and her lovely escorts shuffled out towards the doors. I just sat back down, marveling at such a precious, powerful, and beautiful moment I'd just had. A global beauty, an amazing actress, and a warm person. This will forever be the night – and likely the last time – when I shared a special dance with (permanent A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner). In this go-round, anyway.

Actress: Eva Marie Saint ("Governors Ball")
Movies: On the Waterfront" and "North by Northwest"
"C": Cary Grant
Permanent A+ list mostly movie director: Alfred Hitchcock
Permanent A++ list mostly movie actor: Marlon Brando
Foreign born permanent A+ list director: Elia Kazan

113. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/06
He has the famous last name, but he’s considered to be the screw-up of the family and causes a lot of conflict between other members. Do you want to know his big secret? He’s as gay as the day is long and apparently that is the root of his evil. Conrad Hughes Hilton

114. MR. X 03/06
This former tweener turned A-/B+ list adult singer is such a hypocrite when it comes to bullying. She likes to call out others, but forgets her very recent flipping off of fans and assaulting them. Oh, and that tantrum she threw because a celebrity showed up who she didn't like. Demi Lovato

115. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#1**
Apparently things are not going well for this foreign born A- list mostly television actor from a hit pay cable show and the woman he calls his girlfriend. She refused to be photographed with him at an Oscar party this weekend and went off on a stylist who took a picture of the two of them in the same room. I think her real significant other has been giving her a hard time. Sam Heughan ("Outlander")/Mackenzie Mauzy

116. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#2**
I don't know if it is because she is not filming anything consistently right now, but this B+ list mostly television actress who would rather be a singer just keeps messing with her face when it comes to fillers and injections. I am honestly shocked that with the work she has done that she has never got a nose job. Maybe she is worried about the Jennifer Grey effect. Lea Michele

117. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#3**
This closeted A+ list mostly movie actor went to an Oscar after party solo. He then got this very young Oscar nominee/winner wasted and hit on him like crazy but to no avail. Bradley Cooper/Timothée Chalamet ("Call Me by Your Name") (Madonna’s Oscar after party)

118. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#4**
This A- list reality star already has the creep factor going with his current girlfriend and when they started dating. There have been others not as famous as her that were even a little younger. Now? He has been using his connections to his ex to try to get this mid-teen female to start hanging out with him. The mid-teen female is a B+ list mostly television actress on a hit almost television show. Scott Disick/Sofia Richie/Kourtney Kardashian/Millie Bobby Brown

119. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#5**
This A+/A list mostly movie actor who has multiple franchises and is an Academy Award winner/nominee has been married for quite some time. It was not that long ago that his wife would try to find women to bring home for threesomes, but her face became to well known, so the couple permanently hired a woman who comes over once a week. Matt Damon/Luciana Barroso

120. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#6**
The story being told about what happened to this A list YouTube star is leaving out the detail that the star groped a woman without her consent which led to everything else that happened after.

121. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#7**
She wasn't supposed to get the part, but this foreign born singer more known for her crazy name and ex boyfriend got it when she hooked up with the A- list director who then said he would walk if she wasn't cast. FKATwigs (Robert Pattinson)/Spike Jonze (Apple’s HomePod)

122. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#8**
This A- list mostly television actor who stars on a hit show is from an acting family. His now ex is telling me she ran for her life from the actor after he got drunk and started beating her while they were out of the country. She was only wearing a bikini when she ran out of the house he had rented. She had to have family send her money to buy clothes and then had to get to the US Embassy in the country to get a new passport. She got treatment at a hospital locally there. She says he had always been rough, but that when he got drunk that night, he became a totally different person. This happened really recently.

123. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#9**
Disturbing, but not surprising. Apparently this permanent A+ list singer manually stimulated the then boyfriend of her daughter. It was some kind of fantasy the singer had. Apparently, she and the boyfriend are very good friends and he has made a name for himself in his own right. Apparently she also reminded him of it the other night in front of a group of people who also found it disturbing. Madonna/Lourdes Leon/Timothée Chalamet ("Call Me by Your Name") (Madonna’s Oscar after party)

124. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#10**
There are many reasons being floated for the push of the massively major action adventure fantasy movie from That movie company. One that is not being discussed is closer to the truth. Yes it was moved because of the foul mouthed movie and the solitary hero movie. Yes, it avoids the problems with the fans and online spoilers but those haven't bothered That movie company before. Three of its actors have fires that can't be held off forever. Two are set to leave after this movie. The third still has movies on his contract. Push the movie and contain the fires. Then let all three out at the same time and hope the third one is lost in the noise over one and two. It has worked before. One was even in on the promotion of the pushing of the date!

Massively major action adventure fantasy: "Avengers: Infinity War" (Robert Downey Jr.)
Foul mouthed movie: "Deadpool 2"
Solitary hero movie: "Rampage"
Two actors set to leave after movie: Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans
Actor with movies on his contract: Chris Hemsworth

125. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#11**
In the past, I wrote about this permanent A list couple and the surrogate factory they own. Despite the millions they have made from show business, they make much more money owning this factory. Now, they have a new business. Women who don't want to carry babies, but still want to make money sell their uterus. The clients so far are very wealthy Europeans and Russians who either are too old to have babies or have some other fertility problem. Our permanent A list couples charge ten times what they do for a surrogacy, however, the "donor," rarely makes more than $500-1000 for the surgery and there is no followup care after they are discharged from the hospital. Beyoncé/Jay Z (uterus transplant)

126. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#12**
It didn't take long for this A-/B+ list writer/actor to move on from his marriage. At a party out of the country, multiple models said he hit on them and tried to convince them to hook up. He also hit on this barely legal A- list mostly movie actress from an acting family who called him disgusting. Justin Therous/Jennifer Aniston
 (PROBABLY Chloë Grace Moretz (Louis Vuitton: Front Row - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Fall/Winter 2018/2019)

127. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#13**
A director of some episodes of this pay cable show that needs to be 100% drama free according to the cable network that airs it has been trading sex for small roles on the show. The show barely survived one scandal and it won't survive another. "Westworld" (the actors were asked to sign a consent form that would make them shoot "genital-to-genital" sex scenes as well as simulated oral sex)

128. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#14**
The least discussed member of this political family is trying to pitch a reality show which would be half travel/half life of the rich and famous offsprings. I'm guessing this means no more school then? Tiffany Trump

129. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/06 **#15**
Harikari: So, if you were born in the 70s, grew up in LA or thereabouts, and liked indie or at least "indie" rock, there was one area band that you went to see less maybe for the music (although you liked that too) as for what might happen during the show. This band never got the traction of say the Chili Peppers and Janes Addiction, but its frontman went on to national stardom for a certain type of reality tv - a type very much connected to What Might Happen. One of the times the band performed they were playing at a certain historic So Cal theater (spelled "re") that was almost destroyed by a recent and record-breaking fire (within two blocks). I didn't know it at the time but someone was recording the show, or at least parts of it - including their probably most known song (the one about the rocker turned booze baron). It ended up on YouTube, and is there to this day (near the top of the search list for the song). When you find the video, you'll notice first his shaved head. Early on in the show, the singer announced that his girlfriend had just dumped him (you can probably guess why), and for that (which is to say some) reason he had crudely lopped off his hair. The set, or at least the part of it they got through, went well enough, but in between songs the singer grew increasingly agitated, drinking beer and gin and snorting something he'd fetch from his pocket. Just after they finished that song came the meltdown, a tantrum about the band, the girlfriend, and women in general. He was slurring his words, and when challenged by one of the bandmates threw a bottle of beer at him. The band left the stage and the crowd was alone with him, the audience and the singer. The crowd was then treated to a roughly ten minute monologue about his troubles, much of it some combination of self-pitying and incomprehensible. At the end he pulled a knife from his rear pocket - a switchblade, in fact - and threatened then and there to end his life, Harikari style. That's when the lights came on and two men who looked like orderlies rushed onstage and dragged him away. There is a theory about the video given the size of camcorders back in the day, it's hard to imagine anyone being able to smuggle even one of the smaller hi8 ones into a show. The theory is the singer gave one of his fans advance approval for filming the show, already planning to kill himself at the end. He would have become famous in death to an extent he wasn't yet in life. Ironically, it's his troubles, and getting over them, that made him that kind of famous. According to a witness at the show, after the orderlies took him away, a certain doctor came out to address the audience about the singer, and drug abuse in general. He was going to get the help he needed, he said, and a couple of women threw alt radio station swag into the audience. He encouraged the young people in the audience to seek help if they had been abused, or were self-medicating, or self-harming. The singer had been a semi-regular caller to the doctor's then radio show, often obviously drunk and on drugs. There was one particular episode in which a neo-Egyptian sex temple leader was the guest, and he called in to angrily denounce the leader, who had sex with thousands of women without protection. Now, of course, the singer was right, but he was obviously not coherent. This is how the singer and the doctor got to know each other, as host, and caller. Bob Forrest (Dr. Drew Pinsky's trusty sidekick from VH-1's "Celebrity Rehab")

130. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/07
Be careful who you talk about in public in Los Angeles. Executives were reportedly overheard complaining about the salary of this A lister. ‘I thought we stopped paying people that much outright,’ complained one. ‘It should have been half upfront and the rest based on box office,’ responded another. It was nothing but an incredibly angry rant aimed – for the most part – at the studio.

131. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#1**
An interesting piece of news was dropped during the Oscars. That disgraced A- list director and his entire network of shady friends must really be sweating that announcement, about some devastating information to be exposed in the next couple months. "A big free interview on Hollywood abuse and Bryan Singer's network will be coming from #AnOpenSecret in the next couple months."

132. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#2**
This foreign born A list celebrity who one can argue is more infamous than famous likes to listen in when this foreign born former A- list syndicated actress/celebrity has phone sex with either one of her current boyfriends or even her most famous ex. Julian Assange/Pamela Anderson (French professional footballer Adil Rami; Robbie Williams; Tommy Lee)

133. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#3**
This B list celebrity offspring of a permanent A+ lister says her celebrity boyfriend who may now be an ex because of his obsession with young teens wets the bed at least once or twice a week because he gets so drunk he can't get up to go the bathroom. Sofia Richie/Scott Disick

134. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#4**
This A+ list mogul/host/a-hole would like you to think things are all nice and cozy with the woman he calls his girlfriend. Ummm, I'm pretty sure that was a different guy she was making out with every time anyone saw them in public while on vacation together. Ryan Seacrest/Shayna Taylor

135. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#5**
This foreign born former flash in the pan A- list singer who is probably B- because of his name assured his girlfriend he never got married to a guy and that the rumor he is bisexual is wrong and he just experimented back in the day. Ummm, the guy you are seeing regularly is not the same guy you supposedly married, but there are lots of guys who have hooked up with you the past few months. Gavin Rossdale (Gwen Stefani)/Sophia Thomalia (Marilyn)

136. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#6**
This former A list singer who has never quite been able to recover his status despite still selling a ton of records and playing all over the world beat a woman so badly a few weeks ago that he paid her $100K to stay in his house until she healed because he knew it would be the end of his career this time if it got out. During the time she was healing, he convinced her it was a one time thing and apparently they are still together. Chris Brown

137. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#7**
Right now, this foreign born B-/C+ list multiple reality show participant who is married to a very wealthy foreign born multiple reality show participant is just embarrassing herself by staying in the relationship. Her significant other has been all over town with different women and checking in to various hotels with them for after lunch soirees. Kym Johnson/Robert Herjavek

138. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#8**
This former B+ list child actress says she has been in therapy ever since a hit network show ended over a decade ago. She says that this multiple A- list mostly television actress who is about to get another probable hit network show would molest her. Often, she would be joined by her husband when molesting the young actress. The former child actress still does act, but fairly rarely.

139. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#9**
This very recent A list rapper has been partying way too hard and she is in danger of dying, not just from her partying but the way she is always threatening people with violence. One of these days, someone is going to call her out and it won't be pretty. Cardi B

140. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#10**
This A- list mostly movie actor had a franchise that has now ended. In the last couple of years, he filmed a movie in Italy. He spent most of his down time driving down the highways having sex with multiple Nigerian women trafficked to the country for this purpose. He bragged about how he would find three or four a night every night during filming. Ralph Fiennes ("The Bigger Splash" (2015) ("Harry Potter")

141. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#11**
It has been a few years, but this A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee and had a much better year in television than movies is cheating on her husband with a trainer. What is it with her and her trainers. Nicole Kidman or Reese Witherspoon

142. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#12**
This permanent A list singer/diva had a recent photo shoot airbrushed to within a centimeter of reality. She picked the pictures used and kept sending them back to be retouched more. Never in the history of the magazine have they retouched photos more than these. Mariah Carey ("V Magazine")

143. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#13**
This alliterate C list take anything she can get actress is probably as thirsty as Phoebe Price was back in the day. You know, that desert level thirst. She is married to an actor who had a decent run back in the day. You would never know she is married when she is working a room though. She would dump her husband in a second if the right guy came along. She is spending thousands of dollars she doesn't have each month on paps and clothes and PR to get into parties. Brooke Burke-Charvet/David Charvet

144. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#14**
This now disgraced former A list mostly television actor who has had some good runs here and abroad was drunk and ranting this past week about one of the women who spoke out against him. He said if she had been there right now, he would make sure she never worked again because of how much he would hurt her. Jeremy Piven

145. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#15**
KINDNESS: This A+ list mostly movie actress picked up the tab for an entire restaurant this week while she was out of town. When she was paying her bill, she told the manager to charge everyone that was eating right then on her card.
Reese Witherspoon

146. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/07 **#16**
DB: Busted In LA - A Different Dancing Boy: Surprise! The "db" of this story refers not to the dancing boy, but another one - for him there is a song. This story does involve not the college but does involve the school, and back even further in the day. The president is at this time not yet disgraced, let alone former, and the land war in SE Asia rages on - albeit in its later stages; Americans are seeking escapist entertainment, especially on TV. One show is about a mixed family, another about a musical family. We're talking now about the latter. But I'm getting ahead of myself. How I heard the story is as follows: one day, after school I was shopping for music at the local indie record store. I happened to be wearing my school uniform at the time, and one of the guys who worked there, sort of the town hippie (or one of them - he now owns the place), laughed and said he used to go to that school. As we were leaving I mentioned this to my friend, who told me this story... Initially, the school had not been a k-12 day school with elite aspirations, but associated with the Church of Christian Science. Among its students at the time, in addition to said town hippie, was a member of the show's cast - not the recently deceased one, but the one with the troubled adulthood. Apparently those troubles began earlier. This is where the story becomes uncharacteristic for the context, and time. It's an odd point of note, but even while homosexuality remains unmentionable in some religious communities, and countries, there's sometimes a surprising tolerance for trans people. Just think of Iran, where same sex relations are punishable by death, but sex reassignment surgery is paid for by the state. Apparently among this group of Christian Scientists it was like that. There was even one trans girl among the tween students. She was allowed to wear a skirt to school, and there was a fund taken up for her hormones, and surgery. What no one knew at the time or expected was that the actor had both a budding interest in and hostility toward this person, and others like her. And one day after PE, he cornered her. It's unclear exactly what happened - the two were the only witnesses - but by the end of it she'd been beaten and robbed (presumably for drug money). That's when our friend the hippie and his kid brother showed up. Seeing the state of her, they roughed the actor up, and left him on the playground. By then a crowd had formed around them, cheering them on (the actor had a few hangers on, but no real friends). Of course, things being what they are, both the hippie and his brother were promptly expelled from the school. And of the actor and the trans girl, only one of them got appropriate medical attention. I guess they make exceptions for famous people. Within a few years ownership of the school changed hands, and this history was more or less lost. Apparently, how the Christian Scientists lost ownership of the school is that several children (who were students there) - a boy with asthma, a girl with diabetes, and another boy with cancer - all died from lack of proper medical care. There was purportedly an infirmary on the site, which had no nurse, medications, or medical equipment - just prayer books and religious tracts. It was demolished when the new owners (I guess there had been a lawsuit by an ex-church parent) discovered a child-sized coffin in the storage room. The kids are said to have been buried in one of the surrounding canyons.
School: Montclair College Preparatory School
Show: "The Partridge Family"
Not the recently deceased one: David Cassidy
One with the troubled adulthood: Danny Bonaduce (On March 31, 1991, arrested in Phoenix for beating and robbing Darius Barney, a transvestite prostitute)

Lovato has little tolerance for fakeness of any kind. "The people that aren’t willing to chill with you at home are the type of people that just want to be seen with you," she says. "When Ariana Grande and I hang out, it’s super chill. One time I went over to her place. She had never heard of the Charles Manson murders." As both tweeted later, they hiked to his Cielo Drive house and rang the bell. "We were spooking ourselves out!" She’s close with Iggy Azalea, too, and when I mention that the internet seems to have turned on Azalea, Lovato rises to her defense. "She’s super low-key; she doesn’t drink or party. She has struggled a lot," says Lovato. "'No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami.' That lyric explains a lot of her story. She’s very outspoken, and sometimes it can turn people off. But that’s one of the reasons I love her. She’s not the type of person who lies to you." Lovato’s tolerance for artifice reached its breaking point at the 2016 Met Gala in New York, the annual celeb-packed, black-tie fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, presided over by Vogue’s Anna Wintour. "I had a terrible experience," says Lovato, her voice rising in pitch for the only time during our conversation. "This one celebrity was a complete bitch and was miserable to be around. It was very cliquey. I remember being so uncomfortable that I wanted to drink." She texted her manager, then went straight to a 10 p.m. Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. "I changed my clothes, but I still had my diamonds on -- millions of dollars of diamonds on in an AA meeting. And I related more to the homeless people in that meeting who struggled with the same struggles that I deal with than the people at the Met Gala -- fake and sucking the fashion industry’s dick." Glamazon, Lovato knows, isn't her brand anyway. On tour, she says, "I might pop up in the opening [number] one day and be in Fabletics. Because that’s what I want to wear. I’m loving myself -- not for what I look like, but for who I am." Nicki Minaj

148. POPBITCH 03/08
(British blog)
Which veteran film and TV actor is known in the industry as 'Two Fingers'? Whenever he was required to lift up his leading lady in one particular scene, that's what he kept trying to slip inside her.

149. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/08**
We seem to be on a nepotism kid spree at the moment, but this blind item came in and I can’t help but bite. Apparently this fairly high-profile kid with the famous last name has had his allowance taken away after several 5 figure fashion sprees that maxed out his credit cards. Maybe he thought dressing like a model would be a career boast? Gabriel Day-Lewis; Brooklyn Beckham

150. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#1**
This foreign born former A list singer who hasn't had a hit in a very long time and if you believe conspiracy theories, may be a replacement for the original has a new boyfriend. He won't last long though because she never goes too far from that flash in the pan singer/reality star who also supplies her drugs, but only when she is with him. Avril Lavigne/Ryan Cabrera
(died and was replaced by a clone)

151. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#2**
This diminutive A+/A list mostly movie actor is the front runner to portray the lead in a new superhero movie. The thing is though, the script calls for the superhero to be killed. The actor wants no part of that and says if he is playing the role, that part of the script needs to be changed. Tom Cruise "Green Lantern"

152. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#3**
This one season wonder will no doubt cheat on his significant other. I think we all know that. Did we also know that his significant other has a burner phone she uses to talk to her "ex." Arie Luyendyk Jr. ("The Bachelor")/Lauren Burnham
 (POSSIBLY: professional hockey player named Christopher Crane)

A lot of disagreements that have become much more heated. This permanent A++ lister says her thoughts on the editing of a new movie were ignored which is why the movie is getting such horrible reviews. She has lessened the number of appearances she is going to make for the new movie because of the disagreements. Oprah Winfrey ("A Wrinkle in Time")

154. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#5**
This is the craziest love triangle type thing I have seen in awhile. You have this A- list singer who is a pretty bad actress being basically stalked by the head of this organization who wants her for himself even though he is married. He is doing everything he can to drive a wedge between the singer/actress and her current significant other without causing damage between the friendship of the two men. This is all going to cause a relapse for our singer/actress. Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber/Carl Lentz (Hillsong Church)

155. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#6**
Despite having a significant other, this foreign born A list host/mogul is not only boozing it at record levels but is also hooking up with one of his celebrity exes while he is in town. Simon Cowell/Terri Seymour or Carmen Electra

156. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#7**
This streaming behemoth says they are a supporter of women's rights on International Women's Day. It doesn't really seem like it with what is going on in this European country right now. Several productions of shows and movies have been shut down for the day by women striking on those shows and movies. All have done so without a hitch. All shows except one. Can you guess who owns that show? The giant streamer. Producers on that show have threatened any woman who goes on strike with being fired. The women backed down and are working. Spain/Netflix/Paquita Salas

157. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#8**
One Movie: There is one movie that kind of ties a lot of things together. It was a movie that didn't make a lot of money. Honestly, it didn't make squat. It was probably one of the worst performing movies of that year. It made less than a $1M. It led to at least three deaths that I can think of off the top of my head. One of the deaths involved the star of the movie. He wouldn't die until later in life, but at the time he made the movie he was probably 16, and it was this type of thing that made him who he was and ultimately killed him. He got the job by having sex with the male producer of the movie. He was more than a producer of the movie, he was the owner of the company making the movie. People always forget that he was a movie big shot at that time. They all just think of him as a record executive and forget the whole movie thing. That movie thing introduced him to many hundreds of young teens. Not only did he have sex with the 16 year old lead, but also his 17 year old girlfriend/co-star. That was all part of the deal. It was an actress, not this one, that was breaking up his marriage before he was killed. An actress who was also underage. An actress who was lusted after by one of his killers.
Movie: "Watchers"
Death #1 - 16 year old star of the movie: Corey Haim
Death # 2 - Male producer: Jose Menendez
Lusted after by one of his killers: Erik Menendez
Death #3: Kitty Menendez

17 year old girlfriend/co-star: Lala Sloatman

158. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#9**
There are guns involved. There are drugs involved. There are kids involved. I know this has been reality couple all of you know want another shot and they have done this kind of fakery in the past, but this time something really bad could happen in their pursuit of a new show. Tori Spelling/Dean McDermott; Spencer Pratt/Heidi Montag

159. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#10**
This B list celebrity/part-time porn star is hiding a whole lot of income in a legal proceeding. She just doesn't want people to know that she yachts for most of her income. Courtney Stodden

160. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#11**
Not only has the drinking increased exponentially for this permanent A- list musician, he is also back using heroin. His significant other is not doing much to try to stop him, because last time she did, she got beaten. Tommy Lee

161. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#12**
This foreign born A+ list basketball player is HIV+. It should have easily remained a secret, but events where he plays may bring his case out into the public. "Milwaukee Bucks" (foreign born players: Giannis Antetokounmpo, Thon Maker, Matthew Dellavedova, Mirza Teletovic) (HIV, syphilis cluster discovered in Milwaukee)

162. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#13**
For months, this foreign born B- list celebrity refused to renew her bearding deal with this foreign born A- list actor. She was so over it. Then, when her fame started sliding and our actor started getting hotter, she wanted to be a part of it. He was an a-hole about letting her come back, but it isn't like he had a bunch of people signing up. He has more quirks than the subject in #14. Alexander Skarsgård/Alexa Chung

163. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#14**
Considering the comments he has made in the past, it is kind of shocking this foreign born A+ list athlete in his corner of the sports world has let people see him dressed as a woman. Lewis Hamilton

164. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#15**
The suckitude of the tabloids and even monthly magazines digital presence really knows no bounds. They throw on the biggest kneepads whenever this momager tells them to. The ridiculous engagement story is the latest example. When they all run the same stories with the same quotes and/or talking points, they look like mindless sycophants. Then, when they do run something newsworthy or important, no one believes them. Kris Jenner (Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott)

165. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/08 **#16**
He Dated The Dancing Boy: I've been a regular reader of CDAN for years so I'm used to wild and crazy stories, but I have to say it goes to a whole new level of strange when you make one of your daily visits to the site, and there's a blind about someone from your own past. Followed by others... You see, I was the dancing boy's mid 90s boyfriend. I have a story that I think may be of interest to some of your readers. Back in high school, my older brother was an aspiring a&r guy and sometime road manager for various bands. It was then that I learned what you might call the Epstein effect, by which I mean Brian not Jeffrey. This is the rule which states that while the band might not be gay someone with the management often is. So, if you're a fan boy/autograph collector like me, and liked to get backstage for that reason, it was better to make contact with them, rather than the band. It's how I got in to meet everyone from Aerosmith to a now recently deceased permanent A list musician/bandleader who had come up from the swamps. The latter show was where I met the dancing boy. I was in college in Nevada at the time, and visiting the Bay Area just to see this long running benefit concert where the musician was performing. ***** was there as a fan too but also because he had known the musician's daughter and her boyfriend from college. At the moment we first made eye contact backstage though he was talking to the daughter of another permanent A lister, this one a foreign born but English speaking comedian, who had appeared as his screen offspring in a certain movie/comedy in the 80s. She was also a friend of the musician's daughter. I guess they had all met in college. In fact, he was asking her if this rumor from a couple years back was true. The story was that her dad had come to visit her on campus, and had gone to the right room number of the wrong dorm. It happened to be the room for the son of a disgraced 80s Wall Street financier/ inspiration for the famous movie villain, who was I guess known to regularly cavort with the campus rapists. Her dad knocked on the door, and the young man said "come in." Apparently he was expecting it to be a girl he had invited over to expose himself to, as the son was lying naked on the bed, masturbating. Upon seeing the young man's "tiny hands," and understanding he was up to no good, the comedian purportedly/mockingly said "I'm terribly sorry," and left. The daughter laughed out loud, which I took to be a confirmation. Anyhow, sensing an in, I asked her for an autograph. "Sure sweetie," she said, pinching my cheek. I handed her my autograph book, and ***** whispered something in her ear. For a second I thought they might be dating, but then read what she wrote. It was an autograph with a postscript, which said, my friend ***** thinks you're cute. I'm thinking to myself what is this the 8th grade, and we're passing notes to each other? But I played along. I wrote that I liked him below it, and handed the book to her. She read it and handed it to him, which made him blush. I never got to meet the daughter of the musician, as she had I guess already left with her boyfriend for an after hours shooting club frequented by Bay Area rappers, athletes, and Silicon Valley execs. One of the members was that legendary CEO. He had apparently started carrying after being robbed at gunpoint with his former business partner. The daughter herself had started carrying after an attempt was made on the life of her father, and the family. In their case it was an arsonist. They barely made it out of the house, which was quickly engulfed in flames. That crime remains unsolved. And yeah, there's a song about it. One thing I will say about the dad is that the recent revelations about not only the cause of death, but the origin/timeline of the problem, are very probably true. With respect to the latter, often these are bs stories put out by the family or lawyers to conceal a decades-long addiction. But in his case I can tell you from what I saw he was stone cold sober back then, refusing even the champagne and weed being offered to him by the press and hangers on backstage. And everyone going back there was screened for track marks on their arms, because he didn't want that around. After exchanging pleasantries - wasn't that a great show, where were we from and what were we doing now - he asked me if I wanted to go to a party in the City. I said sure. He drove an Austin Healey 100-4. I once read that this car back in the day used to be called "the widow maker." Apparently there was a small epidemic of speed-related traffic deaths, most of them involving young men. And by the way he was driving I was afraid we might become latter day casualties. I asked him if it was really necessary. He said we'd be late otherwise. I told him I didn't want to become a martyr for punctuality. He said they wouldn't let us in if we were late. I said I didn't care. Finally, he slowed down. The party, it turned out, was at this Mission District club and bar which officially closed at the designated time, 2am, but unofficially re-opened as an after hours venue for local and visiting celebs and their guests. The doors stayed open for just fifteen minutes. That was the case not only because they continued serving booze after closing time, but what else was on the menu, namely the stuff of that famous 80s rap tune they didn't let you play at jr. high dances. The A or A+ list and then still alive area rapper was rumored to be one of the stakeholders. ***** was on the guest list because his old friend and then current housemate was dating the singer of a certain influential but never very successful SF emo act, the one with the hard candy name. We got in with less than a minute to spare.
Tom Petty/Bridge School Benefit/John Cleese/Cynthia Cleese/Ivan Boesky/Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak/"Jawbreaker"/"I Won't Back Down"/"White Lines"/Grandmaster Melle Mel
Recently deceased permanent A list musician/bandleader: Tom Petty (cause of death - prescription pain medication, and that the autopsy had found a number of drugs in his system: fentanyl, oxycodone, acetylfentanyl and despropionyl fentanyl (all opioids, two illegal fentanyl analogs); temazepam and alprazolam (both sedatives); and citalopram (an antidepressant)) (daughter Adria)
Bay Area long running benefit concert: "Bridge School Benefit"
Daughter of another permanent A lister, foreign born but English speaking comedian/his screen offspring in a certain movie/comedy in the 80s: John Cleese (daughter Cynthia Cleese/"A Fish Called Wanda")
Son of a disgraced 80s Wall Street financier/ inspiration for the famous movie villain: Ivan Boesky (Gordon Gekko "Wall Street")
Legendary CEO robbed at gunpoint with his former business partner: Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak
Very successful SF emo act: "Jawbreaker"
House fire/song: "I Won't Back Down"
Famous 80s rap tune: "White Lines" (cocaine) (Grandmaster Melle Mel)

166. SANDRA ROSE 03/09
A Hollywood power couple shocked fans by announcing they are separating, but friends say the couple is still very much together. The divorce announcement was made because the R&B crooner’s career took a nosedive after he was sued for allegedly transmitting herpes. Friends say the singer is desperate to save his career which took a hit after he admitted in court papers that he slept with his Atlanta accuser. His wife is standing by his side, and she agreed to the divorce announcement since previously leaked news reports failed to garner any press. On the same day as the divorce announcement, the singer "liked" an Instagram post by his wife that mentioned "past failures" and "new opportunity". Usher/Grace Miguel

167. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/09
This former teen icon is reportedly carrying a baby and that has her family worried BIG TIME. They aren’t sure about her relationship partner and don’t know if she’s still in the right place emotionally and mentally, especially after a damaging incident a few years ago. Amanda Byrnes

168. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#1**
Apparently one of the conditions for this foreign born A+ list celebrity to return to the fold so to speak is that she wanted the leader of the movement who is a foreign born A- list celebrity to submit to drug tests. The A- lister refused so the A+ lister walked. Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham/Mel B "Scary Spice" ("Spice Girls")

169. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#2**
This foreign born world's worst actor/part-time reality star is married but it didn't stop him from getting another woman he is seeing pregnant. This should work out well. Dean McDermott (Tori Spelling)

170. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#3**
Club Fed - Mr. Hedge: This A-list CEO just had a key person leave his company very abruptly. Very key person. No mention of a successor or transition period. This is almost unheard of, for that particular position, at such a large publicly traded company. The very-recently departed employee held the position closest to some alleged financial wrongdoing. If he has talked to the Feds - it will all unravel very quickly for this A-list CEO. Then again, almost every key department head underneath our CEO has jumped in just the last few months, like rats off a sinking ship. This CEO and his actress ex-girlfriend were spotted at the same pre-Oscar party. Both the CEO and his ex took a clear friend as their date, yet avoided the other like the plague the entire time. Elon Musk ("Tesla")/Amber Heard

171. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#4**
This judge was so awful that the show almost had to be redone. The judge? This A-/B+ list writer/actress who had some time off between projects. Apparently it was a mess. Lena Dunham ("RuPaul’s Drag Race")

172. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#5**
This A list singer might have got hitched while overseas but it probably comes as news to the guy she has been hooking up with on and off in the same city for almost six months. I guess that guy just didn't have the quality of drugs our singer has grown used to and that the person she may have married does. Katy Perry/Orlando Bloom

173. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#6**
This one named A list rapper cheated on his B+ list girlfriend. They broke up but she has no idea about the cheating or it would have been way more messy. Common/Angela Rye

174. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#7**
The drug use is crazy right now for this back in the day former A list mostly television actress who appeared on two network hits simultaneously until she gave it all up for a nude scene in a movie. Lisa Bonet ("The Cosby Show" 1984-1991) ("A Different World" 1987-1989)

175. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#8**
Details, Details - Mr. Hedge: I planned to be finished talking about a certain almost TV network, then noticed that some readers wanted to know details behind the almost-TV network’s shady accounting. So here you go. The almost-TV network takes 4 years to depreciate 90% of the production cost of their original content. This is not a tightly-kept secret. Their top executives will answer the question, if an investor bothers to ask them - or digs through many long, boring financial filings. Think about how a newly released box-office film gets depreciated, which is about that quickly - at the end of the box-office and peak on-demand runs. That always happens within a few months for a typical film, for a massive blockbuster – a year at most. Sure, the almost-TV network does have their films available for streaming, so the loss of value doesn’t happen quite as quickly, as it would for a movie theater film. But it doesn’t take 4 years either. Not even close. Is watching a 3 year old film worth the same to a subscriber as a 3 month old film? Of course not. Think about that big recently released sci-fi film which cost them $100 million. The one critics hate, and most people think is a lousy film. This applies to the almost-TV network’s entire film program, which represents the majority of their content spending. That is how the almost-TV network can burn through mountains of cash, yet claim they are reporting a profit to their investors. The almost-TV network told investors back in January that they could throttle back on the record $3-4 billion of cash they told everyone they would use in 2018. As predicted, they are already changing their tune. Just last week at an investor conference, the management admitted that 2018 might not be their "peak burn year" for cash. Not surprising, considering all the big multi-year commitments the almost-TV network has been making lately. The good news is that this almost-TV network is basically burning through $30-40 per year of cash, per U.S. subscriber. This means they’re not charging subscribers anywhere what they need to charge, in order to cover all this spending. So enjoy all the lousy, over-budget films, for as long as the almost-TV network can keep borrowing more money to finance them. Their new film launching this week was set in a foreign country, with a completely improbable plot. The studio was glad to offload this heap of garbage to anyone who would finance production - after their first 2 choices for both lead actor & director all bailed. Initially a recently married, foreign-born, full frontal loving actor was set to play the lead. Several years ago, a former girlfriend accused this actor of horrible physical abuse. When he bailed, a foreign born A- list mostly movie actor was tapped. Finally, they ended up with a disgusting B+ list actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee, and is equally as famous for another entertainment profession. This is the same guy one with a long list of underage teen hookups.

Almost network: Netflix
Big recently released sci-fi film: "Mute"
New film: "The Outsider"
Disgusting B+ list actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee: Jared Leto
Foreign-born, full frontal loving actor/director: Michael Fassbender/Daniel Espinosa
Foreign born A- list mostly movie actor/Director: Tom Hardy/Takashi Miike

176. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#9**
This closeted, foreign born, married A list multiple reality show star probably didn't let his newlywed wife know about his hookup with a guy he met online last week. Jonathan Scott ("Property Brothers") (partner, not wife: Jacinta Kuznetsov)

177. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#10**
Continuing her long standing tradition of being rude to fans, this former tweener turned A- list singer not named Selena (who isn't all that great to her fans either) was at an event this week and refused to take photos with any fan who asked. These are the same fans she claims to love and wants to purchase her music. Demi Lovato

178. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#11**
This former A list mostly television actor who thought he was too good for the network show that is still airing without him even though he thought it would die without him needs rehab for his drinking. Patrick Dempsey ("Grey’s Anatomy")

179. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#12**
After demanding a ridiculous raise that she had no chance of landing and threatening to walk if she didn't get it, this foreign born singer/reality host ended up taking a 10% salary cut just to be able to stay on the show. Mel B ("America’s Got Talent")

180. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#13**
I'm pretty sure her otherwise amazingly excellent plastic surgeon went a little overboard because this former A+ list mostly movie actress who will probably have A list name recognition forever even if she continues to keep herself from the acting world couldn't blink. It seems as if she only blinks once every five or six minutes and it is the most bizarre thing to see. Demi Moore

181. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#14**
This former reality star turned A- list singer turned B+ list actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee dumped the guy she was seeing while married and is now seeing a married man who is also hooking up with a foreign born A- list singer who has a vowel to begin her first name. Jennifer Hudson (David Otunga)

182. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#15**
This former A list "singer"/former reality star from a celebrity family has not been able to sell any of her reality show pitches and can't get any acting work either. It is not even so much what happened so long ago, it is the way she was on her last big show where she got fired. No one wants to deal with that again even if she has changed. She has. Someone should hire her because she is pretty miserable. Ashlee Simpson ("Melrose Place")

183. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/09 **#16**
Justice For A Friend: This is from a friend of mine who wanted to get a little justice for someone. So, because he can tell it best, I only did a little light editing. My old friend and long time collaborator #1 is a multiple Grammy winning producer in Nashville. He wanted to get into working on music for films and television. His first and to my knowledge only gig like this (because of his horrible experience) was to be the music producer and supervisor (of original music) for #2 (an upcoming reboot). Early on the process went great. He was very excited. Probably more excited than I had ever heard him. He was in regular contact with #3 (A+ list mostly movie actor), who during this part of the experience was very excited about the direction he was taking the music for the project. #1 enlisted many of his top tier friends and collaborators to write songs for the film. He even brought in an older gentleman, a songwriting legend from
days gone by named #4. #1 hand picked one of his unsung songs from the 70’s to be a song featured in the movie. A beautiful song. #4 had lost his only son years back and had basically sold all his guitars and, in his sadness, had stepped out of music almost all together. #1 had been a new friend who had given #4 some hope and a new, pure start. Anyways as time drew near for #1 to go to LA to begin tracking for the soundtrack, things seemed brighter and brighter. It seemed as if the music for this film was going to be top notch and really authentic. #1 brought the band he uses to LA to record these songs that he’d curated for the album and this is where he met #5 (A/A- list singer). From the moment it began, #5 was unstable. Apparently she was claiming sobriety but gave off the vibe of someone who was still on the sauce and more. Anyways, she’s there in the studio with #1 and his band who have worked for months to make this a reality. Now mind you, #3 has been on board with #1’s vision from day one and has been excited for where it is all going. The minute they get in the studio #5 immediately is telling #1 that "nobody buys records with live drums on them" and is, at every turn, attempting to undermine #1’s role in all of this. #1 is a sensitive guy. He’s also not one to fight. So often when battled, he will just take a step back. But in this case he wanted to stand by his vision which everyone from the studio to #3 had been on board with. #5 also had her boyfriend there. I won’t name him because he is someone that I consider a friend, but we aren’t really that close. Fair weather friend at times I believe. But our families are tied together closely so I won’t name him here but I’m sure you can figure it out. Anyways, at every turn, she would turn to him and, despite his previous stances, he would always defer to her. #3 also did the same thing when face-to-face with her ire. She would speak to the engineers and #1’s assembled band and assistant like slaves. Really rude type s**t. And if someone wasn’t paying attention, she would drop something and bend over (in the short dress she was wearing) revealing that she was not wearing any underwear. This would happen multiple times throughout the day and evening. Then any time someone would disagree with her and agree with #1, she would burst into aggressive tears and claim misogyny, "that the world only listens to men and women don’t have a voice". Needless to say, nothing ever came of the session and #1 went home frustrated and disappointed. Once #1 returned to Nashville he had calls with the movie studio and #3 and they agreed to let #1 cut the songs in Nashville with placeholder vocals in place. It is important to mention as well that #1 had arranged for the great players who he uses a lot to be in the film. All that paperwork had been done and it was the plan. He cut some tracks and they were fantastic, including the #4 track. He sent them all to the studio and they, as well as #3 again loved it. What happened next? #5 told the studio she was out unless her boyfriend and his band were in the film instead of #1’s band. Once they agreed to that, she and her boyfriend went and recorded all the songs over (including the #4 song). She once again played the "it’s my way or the highway card on this". #1 was quietly excommunicated from the project and her tracks and her man’s band was used. The real kicker? Her and her man took writing credit on poor old #4’s song. There is a positive note to the original LA story. After the session was over and #5 and everyone but #1 and the band were gone, #6 (permanent A lister who has been in one A+ list group and one A++ list group), who had been next door recording, walked in with two giant bottles of whiskey and said "sounds like you guys need some relief" and poured them all drinks and took them all driving in his ultra fast Tesla. I gained some respect for him that day. But lost all from #5.
#1 - Multiple Grammy winning producer in Nashville: Dave Cobb
#2 - An upcoming reboot: "A Star Is Born"
#3 - A+ list mostly movie actor: Bradley Cooper
#4 - Older gentleman, a songwriting legend from days gone: Paul Kennerley
#5 - A/A- list singer/boyfriend: Lady Gaga/Lukas Nelson
#6 -Permanent A lister who has been in one A+ list group and one A++ list group: Dave Grohl ("Nirvana" and "Foo Fighters")

184. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#1**
The world's worst ever television actress but not movies, because first of all no one sane would ever hire her for a movie, and second, we have to reserve that movie spot for Cara Delevingne was popping pills from a prescription bottle while also swigging wine. Does not sound like a good combination. She needs help but everyone just seems obsessed with getting her a new reality show. Tori Spelling

185. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#2**
This B list celebrity/singer/reality star with the catchy nickname is barely a teen. She is not even in her mid teens yet but is hooking up with a music producer in his 30's and another guy in his 20's with the consent of her parents. Danielle Bregoli ("Cash Me Ousside")

186. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#3**
Speaking of pills, this pregnant MTV star is self medicating with pills she acquires from dubious sources. Her doctors have no idea. Amber Portwood ("Teen Mom")

187. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#4**
Scatter Like The Wind - Mr. Hedge: The disgraced A list Director has recently fled to the Middle East. The Producer has recently fled to Europe. The Agent has recently fled to Mexico. Some of the Director's low level underlings remain in the country, for now, trying to tie up loose ends, and hide potential evidence.
A list Director: Bryan Singer
The Producer: Gary Goddard
The Agent: Tyler Grasham

188. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#5**
This closeted NFL player loves when people think he is with women. He lives for it so people never ask him about the gay rumors and hookups. What he was not expecting was a video that showed coke and weed and the havoc that is going to bring. Odell Beckham Jr.

189. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#6**
You know, one of these days the A+ list singer and her PR team are going to get this thing right. Everyone knows the A+ list singer doesn't go anywhere without a wall of armed security. So, when pictures emerge of her from five feet away showing her in some kind of way she imagines a relationship to be from what she has seen in the movies, everyone knows they are staged. I will give her credit for not doing the piggyback move that she tried for three consecutive relationships. Taylor Swift/Joe Alwyn

190. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#7**
At this point, this witness will do or say anything to get out of the jam he is in. What kind of jam? How about the largest collection of child porn the world has ever seen. This foreign national is one of the richest members of the richest families of the world. For dozens of years he filmed boys as young as 3 having sex with grown men. There were thousands of these boys who worked as slaves during the day and then would be forced to have sex with grown men. All filmed. That slavery practice has ended, but the boys are still imported from other countries and still raped and it is all still filmed. The FBI found out about it and now are using its existence to get him to say whatever they want him to say. Apparently these people are so rich they have their own "cloud" which is highly encrypted where all these videos are stored. George Nader, top adviser to the United Arab Emirates, was arrested in 1985 on child pornography charges, is cooperating with the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III

191. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#8**
A little known story from the past of this foreign born permanent A list rocker. The rocker has been married forever. Even so, he has had his affairs. Despite his high and mighty image he keeps numerous mistresses scattered around the world for his travels and tours. One of those women was this former A list mostly movie actress from back in the day. She had trouble getting roles for awhile after she got in some trouble and our rocker paid her bills for a couple years while also hooking up with her whenever possible. She is back on her feet now and had one of the more memorable gifs of the past couple years. Bono/Winona Ryder

192. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#9**
This foreign born former A list model turned B+ list actress who is really just a celebrity right now is trying to ignore that a family member is also a drug dealer. A violent one. Elizabeth Hurley (nephew Miles Hurley stabbed)

193. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#10**
I don't know how long this new network show is going to last. A mid-season replacement but the two co-stars dislike each other and were not even trying to hide the dislike at a press event this week. Rosie Perez/Josh Radnor ("Rise")

194. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#11**
This one named singer who doesn't really seem to sing any longer used to be A/A- list. Now she mainly shops and snorts heroin. She has passed out in multiple store dressing rooms over the past month. Her celebrity husband must know, but he hasn't, as far as I know tried to get her into rehab. Ciara (Russell Wilson)

195. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/10 **#12**
This A list athlete says this married talk show host would not stop hitting on her this past week when she visited his show. It was nonstop. Lindsey Vonn/Mario Lopez

196. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#1**
This former B- list mostly movie actor is doing what he did before. He has found a not legal teen to "romance." The broke actor is already trying to broker deals to get her to sleep with men for money. Doug Hutchison

197. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#2**
Counting down to the next woman that comes forward on this A list almost television show. There are several who said the streaming company ignored their claims or dismissed them because the show is such a hit show for the company. "Stranger Things" on Netflix

198. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#3**
Not that long ago this former member of an A+ list singing group who was a flash in the pan solo artist herself got to be the host of a reality show. She was awful. Apparently everything took 20 takes and it remained that way for the entire season. I just think it was something not in her comfort zone. Since then however, after being fired after that season no one wants to hire her for anything big. She will be a judge or something overseas, but no hosting. Fergie ("The Four: Battle for Stardom")

199. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#4**
This A list NBA player does realize that he has been promoting the song of the woman he calls his girlfriend and that the woman he calls his girlfriend is sleeping with the person she sings with on the song right? Ben Simmons/Tinashe/Offset

200. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#5**
Speaking of NBA players, no matter how much this A++ list NBA player asked, there was no way on this earth that this permanent A+ list couple were going to show up at a recent party. Not with that reality star family there en masse either with visible or hidden cameras. Lebron James/Beyoncé and Jay Z (birthday party for Tristan Thompson) (Khloe Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Kendall Jenner)

201. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#6**
By my count, this A list rapper almost died last week. This weekend he had a seizure. Maybe get off the drugs. Rick Ross

202. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#7**
Considering how this A- list mostly movie actress has been cheating on her girlfriend as of late, it doesn't surprise me at all that her girlfriend is returning the favor so to speak. The girlfriend has usually confined her cheating to men though, rather than women. So, this is probably the end. Kristen Stewart/Stella Maxwell (kissing Bella Hadid)

203. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#8**
It is pretty interesting that this A- list mostly movie actor from an acting family who has been busted for hitting on underage women and harassing others made the movie he did not that long ago. It turns out the subject of that movie has a lot in common with the actor. The subject of the movie traveled the country with the woman he called his wife and they would find teenage boys after their lecture and ply the boys with booze and weed and then have threesomes with the teen boys. Eventually, the police started taking note of their activities so they now hole up on the west coast and even changed their last name.

204. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#9**
This A-/B+ list model from a modeling/celebrity/reality star family spends all day going back and forth between her apartment and an ATM and meeting her drug dealer in between. Gigi Hadid

205. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#10**
The B list celebrity offspring of this foreign born permanent A++ lister said that she once had a group of friends spend the night when she was in high school. She said she never did it again and never invited any of her friends over again because her father hit on every single one of the teens and ended up having sex with one of them that night in the house, while the significant other of the A++ lister was out to dinner with her own friends. The offspring says her friend was probably 16 or maybe 17. They have not spoken since that night which was years ago. Prince Andrew, Duke of York (Sarah Ferguson agreed to share custody of their two daughters, and the Duchess continued to live at the Duke's home, Sunninghill Park, until 2004)/Princess Beatrice of York (born 1988) or Princess Eugenie of York (born 1990)

206. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#11**
This A-/B+ list mostly television actress who will get A- list if her new almost network show does well. It probably won't though if those ratings stick. Anyway, she needs it to do well because she has been losing movies left and right. Our actress who is still on the young side of 30 is being told she looks much older and producers are moving her towards mom roles already. Mom of tweens. Lucy Hale ("Life Sentence")

207. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/11 **#12**
It shocks me that no reporter ever has asked this former A- list mostly television actress from a show which was turned into a movie where her child is. The child was adopted with much fanfare but has not lived with the actress for years and years. The actress passed the child off to other relatives of the actress. Kristen Davis ("Sex and the City")

Once Bethenny Frankel made her fortune pimping Skinny Girl Margaritas everyone else on reality TV started saying, "I can do that!" And the next thing you know there are multiple people trying and mostly failing to sell wine. Slapping your name on a fancy label and serving it at your parties doesn’t make a successful wine brand. You can sell a few bottles to a few of your devoted fans on your website, but if you are really making wine you have to get it in to the major liquor stores. This has been an issue for this reality participant before. All four people have descended on a major liquor store chain in Dallas before fighting to keep their wine in the major stores. I don’t recall how that all worked out in the end, but similar issues keep recurring. The most recent one happened in Fort Lauderdale when the foursome insisted on pitching a sommelier from a major restaurant group desperate to get their wine into the high-end restaurants. According to Tamara Tattles exclusive sources, the sommelier turned them down because the wine just isn’t very good. There is a high-end version of the same category of wine that is a best seller in Fort Lauderdale and the clientele will pick it every time. Especially since from the perspective of a wine expert, the wine is overpriced for what it is. The source also explained that most wine makers have deep enough pockets that they expect to not make a dime selling their wine for a decade or so. This foursome can’t wait that long and need to sell a lot of wine very quickly. Our source says They aren’t used to being told no and didn’t handle it very well. They seem to have a lot of cash tied up in the wine business that it isn’t turning a profit and probably never will. And contrary to the image they falsely present, the desperately need the money for other pressing issues. Yet, they continue to make risky investments in another risky business that also takes years to get out of the red. In the wine business, it’s who you know, and they don’t know anyone. I predict public fall even greater than their public displays of excess. Bonus points if you can name the wine that is the more expensive best seller.

Reality star: Lisa Vanderpump
Foursome: Lisa Vanderpump, Ken Vanderpump, Pandora Vanderpump and Jason Sabo
Product: "LVP Sangria" ($12.99) and "Vanderpump Rose" ($19.99) vs "Whispering Angel Rose" ($19.47)
Risky business: New restaurant "Tom Tom"

209. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/12
You might have noticed that award season was a little different this year. Instead of the focus on the films, shows and the performances, the centre of attention was firmly on the #MeToo movement, industry sexism and female empowerment. Hollywood might be combating sexism, but it definitely isn’t stopping calculation any time soon. I’m told many public relations firms and entertainment industry agents were said to admire the way Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon handled the situation and felt that the way they delivered their award speeches was the perfect balance of graceful and meaningful without ever falling into preachy or entitled territory. Apparently nominated clients were instructed to "follow Nicole and Reese’s lead" and the vast majority listened with the exception of this one A list actress, who may or may not have won the big one.
Frances McDormand

210. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#1**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A- list alliteration rapper if you use his real name was at an after party with his singer girlfriend. The rapper, right in front of his girlfriend put his hand right on the butt of this B list celebrity offspring/wannabe model. When the offspring/wannabe model saw who did it she was fine with it. Apparently the girlfriend was not though and walked away leaving the rapper and the offspring to get to know each other better. Gerald Gillum (G-Eazy)/Halsey/Hailey Baldwin

211. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#2**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A- list mostly television actress from a long running hit network show was at an after party and would take whatever food was offered by servers but immediately just place it down without touching anything. She likes people to think she is eating, but she eats just enough to stay alive. Sarah Hyland ("Modern Family")

212. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#3**
iHeartRadio Awards: Kind of embarrassing for this closeted A list singer who seems to be on almost every song on the radio right now to be called out by a guy at an after party. The guy said something along the lines of, "I know you." The singer then said thanks for being a fan or something like that. The guy then said, "No. I know you. You are the guy who was getting tag teamed by (and then he named two first names) on that house boat party a few weeks ago in front of everyone." The singer, in front of several people who might not have known before that conversation he is closeted, went pale before excusing himself. Charlie Puth

213. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#4**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A-/B+ list almost network actress from a very popular show was not even being shy about what she wanted when she was talking to a record producer at an after party. She says she charges $20K an hour which has to be paid upfront. That is probably close to how much she earns per episode of the show too. Madelaine Petsch ("Riverdale")

214. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#5**
iHeartRadio Awards: This foreign born A list DJ/writer/producer was barely functional at an after party. Everyone assumes it is a relapse of heroin which has seen him secretly in rehab before. DJ Khaled

215. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#6**
iHeartRadio Awards: More than a couple people asked why this B- list mostly movie actress who only gets that high because of that franchise she did years ago how she even got invited. She has nothing booked and barely scrapes by as an "influencer." In her defense, she is much nicer than she used to be when she was doing a lot of drugs. Ashley Greene ("Twilight")

216. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#7**
iHeartRadio Awards: Where are the parents? I know that one of your kids makes a lot of money so you are more interested in them, BUT, what about your way underage kid that thinks she is 25 when she is really a decade younger than that. No one supervising her when she starts smoking pot with five or six guys at a party and then does some drinking with them. Guys who are in their late 20's to early 30's. The guy she started making out with while the others watched. The guy she made plans to see today. There is no way on this earth that someone that young should be allowed to do any of what she did last night without at least some adult supervision. Mackenzie Ziegler (13)/Maddie Ziegler ("Dance Moms")

217. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#8**
The Mogul And Two Of His Toys - Mr. Hedge: A few years ago, a certain aging A+ list Mogul (David Geffen) allegedly traveled a considerable distance, to meet up with a far younger man he had been dating. The young man was a college athlete (Jamie Kuntz (North Dakota State College of Science)), in a very high-profile sport. The Mogul was allegedly caught with this young man in a very embarrassing situation, at a very inappropriate time, in a less than private place. This college is located in a very conservative part of the country, and it caused quite a scandal. The whole thing went downhill for both parties pretty soon afterwards. It was revealed that the Mogul met this young man while he was barely legal, on a website for that sort of thing. I use the term "allegedly", because recently, it appears as though the Mogul has been somewhat successful at getting the 1st part of the story changed, from what was reported at the time - to cover his exposure. The 2nd part of the story went through the court system on a couple occasions, which meant that part could not be controlled so easily. Almost 2 decades ago, the Mogul invested as a minority partner in a certain entertainment company ("DEN"), which was basically a front to get underage boys drugged and raped. 3 young men sued the main operators of this entertainment company for being drugged and raped while underage. They won a court judgement, but sadly got next to nothing, as the company operators had fled the country. About a year before he fled the country, the Head Criminal (Marc Collins-Rector) at this company got into a legal dispute with the Mogul. Court documents revealed 1 of those 3 young men was an aspiring Actor, who left the entertainment company - to go and stay at the Mogul’s house. Around the same time, this Actor (Alexander Burton (John Allerdyce/Pyro "X-Men")) was given a small part in a film, made by a certain A- list Director (Bryan Singer). The part, as constructed, didn’t really fit in that particular film's story - but nobody cared. Of course, our Actor never had a credit in anything else, before or since. Our Actor never included the Mogul or the Director in any legal action. After this all happened, the Actor changed his name and basically disappeared. Once, in recent years, he briefly reappeared to help the Director defend a lawsuit he was facing. David Geffen/Jamie Kuntz/"DEN"/Marc-Collins Rector/Alexander Burton/Bryan Singer (Alleged Bryan Singer Associate Was Sued In 2000 For Sexual Abuse By X-Men Actor) (David Geffen takes out restraining order against his '20-year-old former college football player ex after ending affair')

218. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#9**
Our favorite former Disney actress turned B/B+ list mostly movie actress turned future porn star needs rehab. She is in really bad shape. Bella Thorne

219. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#10**
It's shocking to me how many people believe this B list actor/wannabe singer/former boytoy to his former boss and the A- list director think he is dating this foreign born A- list mostly movie actress. She is totally on board for it because she needs a boost of publicity to make her marketable again. Chord Overstreet (Ryan Murphy)/Emma Watson

220. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#11**
This former C list celebrity/reality star/killer makes his living now pimping out his girlfriends. Nick Gordon

221. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#12**
This boy bander/actor is still way under age. He says this B+ list actress on a show which he appeared on when he was even younger than he is now would have sex with him each time he was on the show. Brady Tutton ("Boy Band")/Chelsey Crisp ("Fresh Off the Boat")

222. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#13**
This foreign born former A list singer in a group turned frequent reality judge went ballistic on one of her housekeepers the other day because the housekeeper complained about one of the singer's children making fun of the accent of the housekeeper. The singer was having none of it and yelled at the housekeeper about respecting your employers and then fired her. Mel B

223. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#14**
This former A list mostly television actor all of you know who has had some middling network success but nothing like his biggest generational hit is struggling financially. No one is hiring him and he took some big loans in anticipation of a syndication deal that never materialized.

224. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#15**
This A+ list mostly movie actor is on a 3 or 4 day booze and pot bender right now. He made no sense at a panel he was on and skipped two others because he would even look more foolish. Matthew McConaughey ("2018 SXSW Film Festival")

225. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/12 **#16**
Guess The Athlete - Double Dose
#1: Guess the athlete time again. Real sport. Big sport. World stage level sport. One of the dirtiest sports out there. Has been for some time and still is today. If you do not cheat, you simply have no chance to win in this sport. And if you do not cheat, that means you simply do not WANT to win in this sport!! Well, not always it seems.... Our athlete today is one of the most genetically gifted athletes walking the Earth today. Our athlete was not expected to get this far in their sport. But they are approaching their prime and they are just getting better. They are not a household name, but two years from now, they will be. Our athlete is both feared and respected by their opponents. Feared because their career is starting to approach the phase of going from chasing records, to setting records. Possibly some very, very big ones. Records their teammates and opponents have no chance to beat. And respected because they are one of the rare athletes who are respected by most of their peers and teammates for starting to become the best in the sport... all the while doing it cleanly. Being a good athlete, though, does not make you a household name. But doing so with an incredibly charming, yet humble personality, and great looks does. This athlete hit the genetic lottery there too. Some of you may have heard of this athlete or may be able to figure out who this athlete is. Two years from now you will all know this athlete. And your children will too. They will want to BE this athlete.
Tori Bowie

#2: One of the all time greats is how this athlete is described. This athlete is retired, but alive. The sport is one of the biggest sports in certain parts of the world, if not the biggest. And within this sport, our athlete is a big name. Not the biggest, but still big. Strangely though, unlike other athletes mentioned, this athlete wasn’t very gifted in the genetics department. Even on paper, there wasn’t anything, any metric that would even be considered average within their sport. Certainly no drugs were used to get ahead. This athlete looked more like a high school science teacher than an athlete at their peak. Today, they would more closely resemble a truck driver if you saw them in person. So how exactly did they dominate their sport for so long? We’ll answer that in a second. This sport has been a breeding ground for cheating since its inception. Heck, Arguably the BIGGEST case of cheating in sports EVER happened within this sport. But as the sport grew and the ways to cheat were discovered, rules were made. Lots of rules. There was one rule that was made a long, long time ago about a very specific ways to cheat. There was a specific incident that lead to this rule change. This rule was made before anyone reading this was even born. This rule is heavily enforced to this day. Yet our athlete broke this rule every day in their career and not until their later career did anyone even suspect anything. Athletes in this sport today ask the athlete how they did it and how they never got caught. The athlete will simply just coyly wink and slyly say "there’s no cheating in this sport, haven’t you heard?". Gary Maddux (Cliff Floyd accuses Greg Maddux throwing spitball)

This reality show participant (RSP) just returned home on a cross-country flight with a couple of travel companions. After enjoying a few cocktails, RSP had a problem. You see, RSP is claustrophobic and refuses to use an airplane bathroom. We’re sure RSP probably thought of peeing in cup in RSP’s first class seat, but that plan didn’t seem feasible with all the attention. Whatever would RSP do? When RSP could not hold it anymore, RSP went into the bathroom and emptied the bladder while one of RSP’s travel companions guarded the open door. This seems to be a new low in RSP’s travel companion’s list of duties. Kim Zolciak Biermann (husband Kroy)

227. POPBITCH 03/13
(British blog)
#MeToo has been the talk of awards season this year – but which unwanted dick pic sender is a hot favourite to walk away with a prize at tonight's Press Awards?

BY Debra Birnbaum
The final season of "Game of Thrones" will not disappoint, promise HBO executives who recounted being at the table read for the last few episodes. "It was a really powerful moment in our lives and our careers," said Francesca Orsi, HBO SVP of drama, who took part in a panel titled "The Best of HBO" at the INTV Conference in Israel. "None of the cast had received the scripts prior, and one by one they started falling down to their deaths." In discussing "Game of Thrones" during the session, Orsi said that at the table read of the final six scripts ("a dream opportunity," she said), everyone stood up and applauded for 15 to 20 minutes. "It was amazing," she said of the episodes, which will air in 2019. "By the very end, everyone looked down and looked up and tears were in their eyes." The network execs revealed they hope to continue the magic with the potential spinoffs, which Orsi promised will live up to the original. "It feels like corporate malfeasance to not continue it," said Orsi. "That’s why it spawned three, four, five spinoffs," adding that "we’re going big."

229. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/13
Summer is only a few months away and that means the box office is gearing up to take money in like it’s going out of fashion. A source informs me that I shouldn’t expect this BIG NAME movie to make any money, however, saying that it’s "a certified bomb at this point" and we should witness the people behind the movie trying to mitigate the damage in the near future. "Solo: A Star Wars Story"

230. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#1**
At some point, the feds are going to take notice of this one named rapper/producer/reality star. He recently flew out of state with a 16 year old female who he has been trying to pass off as 18.

231. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#2**
This A- list comedian/sometime actress/sometime host/frequent drinker always forgets to tell people that it was a drunken make out session with the significant other of her best friend that caused a fallout. Chelsea Handler/Jennifer Aniston (Justin Theroux)

232. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#3**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor who is a permanent chain smoker and an Academy Award winner/nominee not only had an epic amount of coke, but also a young actress that this A- list mostly movie actress was in lust with, so she went home with them both. Sean Penn/Amber Heard

233. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#4**
I used to think it was just drugs, but it is so much more for this former A+ list tweener. He told his celebrity girlfriend she was going to Hell if she stopped sleeping with who he told her to sleep with. Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez

234. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#5**
This A list mostly movie actress who had a great television year went on a rant after a dog snapped at her on set. The actress said the dog nearly bit her face off when the dog was a good five feet from her when it happened. She was freaked out and refused to work the rest of the day. Nicole Kidman (filming movie: "The Goldfinch"/Popper, Maltese puppy)

235. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#6**
This alliterate former singer turned television actress was telling friends that things are on the rocks with the guy she is supposed to marry. Mandy Moore/Taylor Goldsmith

236. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#7**
They are trying to ignore it, but there were several times already where this A list singer showed up wasted to a reality gig. Katy Perry ("American Idol")

237. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#8**
This B- list celebrity all of you know, but probably don't spend a lot of time thinking about is more famous for the guys she dates and what she chooses to wear in public rather than much of anything else. Yes, there was the briefest of brief reality shows but she is all about the pap pics and controversy to stay in the spotlight. Apparently she took some bath salts this week and literally destroyed her house with a baseball bat. There was a female friend of hers who was there when it started to happen and scooped up the child of the celebrity and ran from the house as quickly as possible. Apparently the celebrity started chasing them out of the house and smashed two front windows with the bat before going back inside and doing more damage. Some guys who work for one of her exes were called and they managed to get in the house and wrestle her to the ground and put plastic ties on her wrists while listening to her scream at them for hours until she finally passed out. Tila Tequila; Amber Rose; Blac Chyna

238. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#9**
Over on Free Gay Chat Now there is a person claiming to be a B lister on Nick who is wrapping up a long run on a hit television show there. If this actor is who he says he is, then he has a nice upcoming project on an outlet that has been spreading cash like crazy. He says he is openly gay in life, but has not publicly come out. Hmmm. Sounds more like someone catfishing. Because of his confusing answer to whether he is out or not, I won't give out his user name, but I bet someone will post it in the comments. Real or catfish? Tony Cavalero (Dewey Finn "School of Rock") (Ozzy Osbourne in Netflix’s Mötley Crüe Biopic "The Dirt"); Jack Griffo (Max Thunderman "The Thundermans") ("Alexa & Katie")

239. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#10**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who is a multiple Oscar winner/nominee tried to charge the tug on his rub and tug. He should know better. You can charge the massage, but you always have to pay cash to the woman doing the sex act. Ralph Fiennes

240. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#11**
The night always sounds amazing and he prizes being bid on are phenomenal. The problem for the charity is that well over half of the people bidding, never pay up. They like to look important and rich and that they can afford to bid $1M on something. The thing is though, they never usually write a check or if they do, it bounces. The charity, run by an A+ list mostly movie actor doesn't seem to care though because he likes the buzz of being the host. "Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation"

241. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#12**
Our favorite drinking cable actor and his never ending love life has a new installment. So, he goes to film his reality show out of the country. His foreign born actress girlfriend was only a few hours behind him. Apparently though that few hours allowed him to escape to a different city to actually film. The next day he arrived back from filming and met up with that co-star he hooks up with on the sly. Where was the girlfriend? She hung out in a hotel lobby for 12 hours waiting for him to show. He didn't show back up to the hotel at all that night and spent the night where? It is looking like with his co-star. They traveled to another city together while the girlfriend went home alone. Norman Reedus ("Ride with Norman Reedus")/Diane Kruger/Melissa McBride (Walker Stalker Con Europe: London)

242. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#13**
This club in the Southwest has become the latest business to think more about their bottom line than the fact they are paying a convicted child porn creator to perform. The convicted child porn creator who is being investigated for other child porn related crimes is a B list rapper. 6ix9ine (Summit Rooftop Lounge)

243. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#14**
He is doing everything he can and selling off everything he can to pay for medical treatment, but he is also putting his affairs in order. Too much damage to that body over the years and this former A+ list mostly television actor who had a run as an A lister in movies before that is dying. His doctors don't think he can live beyond a year. I think it is going to be a lot less. I hope before he passes though that he sits down and lets himself be interviewed for 20-30 hours just to get all his stories and truths and everything out so we aren't left with a million questions. Charlie Sheen

244. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#15**
The only growing apart this celebrity couple did was that one is trying to get sober and one isn't. Calling it anything else is just wrong. The celebrity couple consists of a former A list boy bander and his B list celebrity girlfriend. Zayn Malik/Gigi Hadid

245. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/13 **#16**
The Club - Old Hollywood: The Club actually has a name, but if I gave you the name of the club, this would be much easier to solve. Part of the fun with this is discovering the club and everything it has done and everything it owns. Many members of the club donate their entire estate to the club. This can include all their personal films and photos from sets. There are diaries and scripts. They are a treasure trove of many of the early days of Hollywood right through and including the studio years and on in to the 70's. The club has faded over time. No longer active as a social club, it is just a person or two keeping alive the memory of what was one of the building blocks for the acting profession we see today. Without this club, the business of acting would be completely different. Now, the name of the club is all well and good, but what the club received about five or six years ago in an estate has finally been unearthed. With just a couple volunteers and not much time to work on this stuff each week, it can take months or even years to go through everything left by an actor or actress to the club. Such is the case with this estate. It was massive in size in the sense of the artifacts. Included in the artifacts were many reels of film from the early 40's. Volunteers assumed they were home movies or something similar. Until very recently, they were pushed to the side as other items were easier to mark and catalog. Sitting through all that film and figuring out the who and what and where and when was going to take forever. The artifacts were from an agent who also produced theatre. He produced two of the biggest Broadway musicals of the time and at least one of them all of you know and have seen it, but probably not on stage. He did some great television and award winning movies. He also liked to get married. A lot. He also produced some children from those marriages who basically seemed to have been involved with a who's who of Hollywood and a book has been made about just how crazy this entire family dynamic was and who was involved and the offspring. Anyway, our agent/producer fell in love with a married woman. That married woman was known by everyone in society at the time. One of her divorces occurred because she hooked up with that permanent A list crooner that so many other women hooked up with too. She was the muse of several permanent A list authors, including one of the most famous authors of all time. It was that relationship that produced these films. They were apparently shot on a Caribbean island. They featured the author and the socialite having sex. Yes, basically X rated films of two very important people, including arguably one of the top ten authors in the history of the US. The films also feature them as a couple with much much younger women. The films are old and it is tough to make out ages. This was decades ago with no thought to preservation. So, the club faces a quandary. They have hours of footage of one of the most famous people in the history of the country, but 95% of the film is him having sex with a socialite or with other teens and the socialite.

The Club: The Masquers Club
Agent/Producer: Leland Hayward (wives Inez "Lola" Gibbs, Margaret Sullavan, Slim Hawks and Pamela Harriman)
Clients: Fred Astaire, James Stewart, Ernest Hemingway, Boris Karloff, Judy Garland, Ginger Rogers, as well as the two former husbands of wife Margaret Sullavan, Henry Fonda and William Wyler, Greta Garbo and Katharine Hepburn
Broadway productions: "Gypsy", "The Sound of Music", "Mister Roberts", "South Pacific"
Who’s Who author: Marriage to stage and screen actress Margaret Sullavan, formerly married to Henry Fonda, in 1936. They had three children: Brooke, born July 5, 1937, who was married to actor Dennis Hopper from 1961–69; Bridget (1939–1960), who committed suicide by overdose in October 1960, less than a year after her mother's death by overdose; and William, born 1941, who committed suicide
March 20, 2008, by shooting himself in the heart. The family's dysfunctional life was recounted in daughter Brooke's 1977 memoir, "Haywire"
Socialite: Nancy "Slim" Keith, Lady Keith
A list crooner: Frank Sinatra
Author: Ernest Hemingway

246. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/14
She was warning about him before they got together, but did she listen? No, she didn’t. Several sources tell me that this hot relationship ended because the female part issued an ultimatum to the male part, telling him to get off drugs or he’ll lose her and he’ll lose her for good. He agreed… at first, but it didn’t last long before he was puffing away and chasing his demons. To her credit and to the surprise of many people around her, she made good on her promise and has left. For how long, though? We’ll be watching. Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik

247. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#1**
A night of partying does not a relationship make, but this former tweener turned adult singer who is seemingly a blind once every couple weeks is still trying to find the right guy. A guy who doesn't care she likes women more than men and a guy who also has great drugs. Oh, and he has to be a celebrity who will get her picture in the tabloids a lot. She found the right guy in this foreign born singer except he rarely goes out which means not very many tabloid photos and just a bunch of leaked stories. Demi Lovato/Zayn Malik

248. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#2**
At least two tabloids have been offered screenshots and texts and even some sexts between this one year reality wonder and at least one of his exes that were sent long after he picked someone. So far the price has been too high, but with rejection comes the lowering of the price, so it won't be long. Arie Luyendyk Jr. ("The Bachelor")/Lauren Burnham (list of his ex’s)

249. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#3**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor has been in some of the biggest films of all time. He has had some great runs on quality television shows and can even do comedy. I'm shocked he doesn't have even more awards than he has. Anyway, it appears the woman he has been seeing regularly since he and his actress wife split is a woman he hired one night as an escort and one night became two and now they are pretty happy with each other. Martin Freeman

250. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#4**
Don't believe the hype. The only man this A+ list mostly movie actress is hooking up with is that married U.N. higher up. Now, if an actress came her way, she would be very open to it because she gets bored with the nannies. Angelina Jolie/Garrett Hedlund

251. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#5**
I'm not going to use her usual identifier because this is a little more how shall we say, intriguing. This former child actress turned middling adult actress who doesn't act very much any longer but still has good name recognition wanted to marry a guy. She got a passport in that country and did everything possible to show she was serious about the relationship. He decided to marry someone else and they were within weeks of doing just that. Well, apparently our actress has been trying for a while to break them up. Planting stories about him or her to create a wedge. Well, now it looks like there is a permanent split with no chance ever they will reunite or speak again. The reasons for that are very suspicious. It does make one wonder. Lindsay Lohan (Turkish socialite and business heir Mina Basaran/Murat Gezer)

252. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#6**
This one named actress/singer went on a rampage directed at her management team that they did not land her the part that felt destined to play. The thing is though, she was never on the radar of the producers and wasn't who they were looking for anyway. Brandy/Gabrielle Dennis playing Whitney Houston in "The Bobby Brown Story"

253. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#7**
This former A+ list mostly movie actress is an Academy Award winner/nominee. Now, she pretty much just confines her acting to one role in a franchise which pays her a ridiculous sum of money for not doing much. She has a side gig. She also does a lot of day drinking. This week at a business meeting she had done some day drinking and did some more drinking at the business meeting and she was messy by the end. Gwyneth Paltrow (Pepper Potts "Iron Man")/"GOOP"

254. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#8**
Athlete Investor - Mr. Hedge: This recently retired former A+ list athlete is off to a very shaky start at his new big venture. The whole thing is going to be an epic disaster. He set the whole thing up to be a heads-I-win-big and tails-I-break-even scenario for himself. As someone who has seen the inner workings of the deal - his investors will see most of their money gone, within just a few years. Our athlete has far less of his own financial skin in the game, than what the public has been led to believe. Athlete/Team: Derek Jeter ("Miami Marlins")

255. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#9**
This former child/tween/teen actress turned reality star turned celebrity needs rehab again. At this point, she really should commit to a good six months there to try and get better once and for all. Kim Richards ("Real Housewives of Beverly Hills")

256. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#10**
Apparently this former A list rockstar spoke to this B+ list singer on the phone right after a soundcheck on that last afternoon of his life. The singer says she accidentally recorded the 20 minute phone call because she had been taking videos at the time of the call. She only noticed about three weeks ago and she says it answers some questions, but also opens up a bunch more. Chris Cornell/Taylor Momsen (What's interesting to me is he could have probably spoken to her in person that afternoon rather than on the phone. Why did he do that?)

257. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#11**
A little tension this week at a party when our favorite foreign born B+ list singer/actress ran into this A+ list reality star. Apparently the reality star blames the singer/actress for getting a family member hooked on drugs and made that clear at the event. Rita Ora/Kim Kardashian (brother Rob Kardashian) (Lorraine Schwartz launches The Eye Bangle a new addition to her signature Against Evil Eye Collection)

258. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#12**
It is all coming together now for me. I could never understand why this foreign born Victoria' Secret model was hooking up with the permanent A list old songwriter/producer every month or so. I assumed she was hard up for cash. She might be, but it turns out she is hooking up with the old guy in return for him helping out with the career of her boyfriend. Apparently he is actually helping too and not just having sex with her.

259. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#13**
This A- list mostly movie actor from an acting family made short work of an interview when the first question was about someone in his acting family. The actor got up and walked out. Dave Franco (James Franco) ("6 Balloons" Premiere - 2018 SXSW Conference and Festivals)

260. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#14**
The arguments between these two permanent A list mostly movie actresses who are each Oscar winners/nominees got so bad, that the script had to be slightly changed so the two wouldn't have to work on as many scenes together. Cher/Meryl Streep ("Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again")

261. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#15**
This offspring of a foreign born A list celebrity is banned from a ride sharing app after yelling at a driver about trying to talk to the offspring. Basically it was an entitled, privileged I am better than you thing and you just need to stay quiet and drive. It apparently was crazy.

262. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/14 **#16**
P's Friends: There is a behind the scenes power player in Hollywood, who was on a blind earlier this year. Let’s stick with calling him P. P once represented a former A– list teen star who you all know, during the early years of his career. However, there is no reason to think this former 80’s star is one of P’s victims. While he has been in the news a great deal lately for reasons other than his acting, our former star does return to the big screen soon. About a month from now, he stars in a small-budget crime thriller, as a vicious, cross-dressing vampire. Back in the day, a little over 3 decades ago, one of P’s close work friends happened to be a notorious child-molesting photographer, who also dabbled in child pornography. Let’s call this photographer B. Around this time, another of P’s close work friends was another long-time serial pedophile. He was called NS in a prior blind, and you all know him. NS was an acting manager. P, B, and NS all had clients in common, through referrals from one to the other. Their businesses at the time were not in competition with one another – but rather complimentary. It was not unusual for P, B, NS, and a couple clients to all hang out in the same place together. Back in the late 70s, B was first brought to the attention of the LAPD. It wasn’t until about a decade later that he was finally caught in a nationwide child porn sting, along with several others. B fought the charges, and escaped on a technicality during the appeals process. Despite this, B was welcomed right back to Hollywood. B began branching out as talent manager and coach. B managed a certain young actor, starting when he was barely a teen. This young actor had big promise, and quickly began getting a lot of work. Unfortunately, this young actor quickly spiraled down the path of substance abuse, and died of a drug overdose before he turned 25. B was accused of child porn a little over a decade and a half ago, but he struck a plea deal. B pled to a misdemeanor, and got probation. A few years later, one of B’s clients went to the police. He was barely a teen at the time, and got B convicted for molesting him. B finally served a few years in jail. What did P know about his friends, and when did he know it? How long did he remain friends with them?

P: Jeff Ballard
Former Star: Corey Feldman
Film Coming Soon: Queeny "Nash Corbin"

B: Bob Villard
Deceased Actor: Christopher Pettiet
NS: Marty Weiss

Jennifer Lopez was asked to go topless at an audition for one of her first movies. The 48-year-old Latin singer, who has appeared films including; Out of Sight, Monster-in-Law, Maid in Manhattan and The Wedding Planner, as well as enjoying a successful music career. And with the Time’s Up campaign against sexual harassment the talk of the entertainment industry at the moment, Jennifer paused to reflect on her own experiences. "I haven’t been abused in the way some women have. But have I been told by a director to take off my shirt and show my boobs? Yes, I have. But did I do it? No, I did not," she shared in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar U.S. "When I did speak up, I was terrified. I remember my heart beating out of my chest, thinking, ‘What did I do? This man is hiring me!’ It was one of my first movies. But in my mind I knew the behaviour wasn’t right. It could have gone either way for me." "But I think ultimately the Bronx (where Jennifer was born) in me was like, ‘Nah, we’re not having it,’" she smiled, crediting her New York upbringing for giving her the strength to say no. The Jenny from the Block hitmaker also delivered a powerful speech in support of the Time’s Up movement in Puerto Rico earlier this year, and is pleased she now possesses a confidence in herself that wasn’t there early in her career. "When I was younger I spent a lot of time being half happy and half not happy," admitted Jennifer, who released her debut album On the 6 in 1999. "(Now) I know who I am and what I want. I also know my strengths and weaknesses. It took me a long time to get to a point where I could say something nice about myself. I’m glad I can do that now."
Joseph Ruben ("Money Train")

264. POPBITCH 03/15
(British blog)
Which reality TV star is using daddy's money to stop tabloids running stories about their fairly unsubtle coke habit? Threats of a high court injunction have already been tabled, but their willingness to take selfies with 'fans' outside the very bogs that they'd just been hoofing gak in might blow a hole in their case...
Millie Mackintosh (drug use)

265. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/15
Apparently a member of this ensemble cast has gained credible information that their co-star was a popular and known escort in Europe before their casting on the show. ‘It may come out on the show,’ a source warns me, ‘but the network might not air it because of lawsuits.’ Brandi Glanville and her father, Guy ("Real Housewives of Beverly Hills")

266. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#1**
I think what caught everyone surprised by this very recent A list rapper's big news is that until at least a month ago she was partying really hard still and even did a night of drinking shots until she passed out. Cari B

267. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#2**
This MTV star was in town yesterday and her significant other is now going to have to find a different place to get the special drugs he can only get here. Why? Well, he found out his significant other hooked up with the dealer a few times and tried to start a fight with the dealer who promptly pulled out a gun along with several of his associates. So, for now, no more drugs. Jenelle Evans/David Eason ("Teen Mom 2") (LAX)

268. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#3**
No one is telling the real story. The real story is that this former child actor/rapper made a pass on this A list rapper when he thought the other rapper was into guys. Nope. Bow Wow/Future (punched by Nigerian rapper, Cheeks Bossman

269. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#4**
This former B- list celebrity/reality star is now more known for all the trouble he gets in. He keeps promising his significant other they will get a reality show and make money and be famous which is why she stays despite being threatened with the end of her life. Nick Gordon/Laura Leal

270. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#5**
This A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee and taking flack for her last movie is trying to make sure this former A list mostly television actor turned movie/commercial/television/no underwear wearing actor doesn't get the lead opposite her because she thinks the movie will bomb. She is convinced he is bad luck when it comes to movies. Natalie Portman/Jon Hamm ("Pale Blue Dot")

271. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#6**
He is supposed to stay home alone or just hang out with family when he is not with this A+ list singer for precisely the reason that I am writing this. He hooked up with a guy in the past two weeks who he met on Grindr. One misstep and the carefully laid plans of the A+ lister would go out the window. Joe Alywn/Taylor Swift

272. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#7**
This A- list reality star with a side gig says she is dating this A list athlete. Hmmmm. First of all he is hooking up with his ex on a regular basis and there is a woman in a new town where he is living he sees several times a week, but yes, please continue to tell us you are dating him so your story seems more believable. Kendall Jenner/Blake Griffin

273. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#8**
Back in the day this actor was probably B+ list at his peak. He comes from an acting family. He made some money in the past decade working on movies overseas. They are usually more willing to deal with his substance abuse issues and he still does good work and is a big draw overseas. In a "stan" country not that long ago, our actor was wasted and was with an escort when he ended up beating her to the point she was in a coma. The production company, wanting to protect their investment got him out of the country and then did a week of filming in the neighboring country. It was not until the film was finished that they spoke to police and told them their version of events while making sure the actor stayed out of the country. The woman is out of her coma but is apparently permanently disabled because of the attack. Michael Madsen ("Diamond Cartel") filmed in Kazakhstan

274. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#9**
This one named B- list DJ has been accused by multiple underage women of rape and sexual assault. It doesn't seem to matter to that monster booking agency and another they partner with for an annual tour. They are leaving the DJ on the bill. Money means more to them than anything else. Datsik

275. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#10**
Apparently that foreign born A- list mostly movie actress reads the site. Just a few short hours after my last blind about her relationship she posted a video aimed at that cable actor boyfriend of hers. She also started deleting and blocking anyone on her social media who mentioned the name of his co-star/sometime hookup. As for our actor? He spent that day and the next posting selfies with his co-star/sometime hookup. Diane Kruger/Norman Reedus (Melinda McBride) in Scotland

276. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#11**
This daytime talk show host better get back to work quickly because producers have noticed audience reaction and the higher ratings with her replacement. Wendy Williams/Jerry 'Connell

277. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#12**
This wife beater, abuser, former A lister at least is honest that his relationship with his girlfriend is based on money and how much he pays her to be with him. I guess she is young enough to kick his ass if he tries to hit her. Maybe he should try to apologize to his offspring for beating their mother. Don McLean/Paris Dylan/Patrisha McLean

278. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#13**
This A+ list singer is freaking out that she cast a gay porn star in a recent music video. Taylor Swift/Kevin Falk

279. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#14**
Apparently, that new organ is not working so well for that A-/B+ lister because of the abuse it has taken and she may actually need a replacement for the replacement. How about just changing your life rather than getting ones that other people would love to have and cherish. Selena Gomez

280. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#15**
This foreign born A+ list athlete in his corner of the athletic world has already been hitting on male models and telling them about his new fashion gig. This gig is going to get him in some serious trouble. Lewis Hamilton (Tommy Hilfiger)

281. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#16**
Just Stand Up - Mr. Hedge: This company saw their stock tank after causing a mighty controversy. The company somehow didn't screen out an advertisement, which made fun of a very high profile domestic violence incident involving a major celebrity. The celebrity was understandably enraged upon learning of this - and responded by urging a boycott of the company. Others have piled on as well. Was this simply an unlucky accident for this company? Alternatively, was the cash-guzzling, thirsty company simply desperate for more revenues, and purposefully lax on its advertising content filters? Rihanna ("Snapchat" Domestic Abuse Ad)

282. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/15 **#17**
The Showrunner From Hell: This showrunner/creator had one big hit but it allowed him to create some pilots and at least one middling hit. At least one death I attribute to him. He cast her when she had just turned 13 or 14. She talked about him when she was using drugs but never when she was sober. She says that when he walked in for the casting for the soon to be hit network show that he asked her if she wanted the part. She said yes. He then told her lots of other girls wanted the part. He then coerced her into undressing saying that all the other girls had and she didn't have to but she wouldn't get the job. This ended up with her being sexually assaulted by him. She says he did so over 100 times during the run of the show. She talked about how he took her with him when he was casting a show that didn't even last a season. One person cast in the show was a woman in her early 20's who has her own slate of horror stories about things that have happened to her. Anyway, she was told if she wanted the job she had to sleep with the then 14 year old girl while our showrunner watched. She did it. She was so disgusted by that and what happened to her a couple years later when she was a guest star on a very hit network show and raped by at the time an A list mostly television actor who in the past year has been accused of it again and a guest star on another very hit network show and raped by at the time an A- list mostly television actor on the show who has also been accused of similar behavior by other women that she left the business. Going back to our teen, she then became the "older woman" so to speak when the showrunner took her along on the casting for a middling network show. The showrunner made our teen have sex with a girl who was maybe seven or eight at the time. Our teen doesn't know if the showrunner ever had sex with the girl and she isn't talking or hasn't yet. She left the business right after appearing on a show which was created solely for the purpose of casting as many children as possible in one show for adults to molest and that they did for years. That is another blind though. As for our teen? She got pregnant by the showrunner and was fired for it. She was never allowed to reveal to her child who his real dad was.

Actress: Dana Plato
Showrunner: Bernie Kukoff
Hit network show: "Diff'rent Strokes"
Show that didn’t last a season: "Detective School"
Woman in her 20‘s: Melinda Naud
Guest star on hit network show/A list actor: "Dukes of Hazzard"/Tom Wopat
Guest star on hit network show/A- list actor: "Happy Days"/Scott Baio
Horror story: Paternity suit against Wayne Rogers ("Mash") who died before dna could be taken
Seven year old: Heidi Zeigler (born 1979)
Show created for casting children: "Just the Ten of Us"

283. MEDIA TAKEOUT 03/16 just got a bit of tea that’s JUICY . . . But also very heartbreaking. There have been rumors going around that a popular entertainer is PREGNANT – but the entertainer is REFUSING to confirm it. Well, we just spoke to one of her GFs who told us, "[Entertainer] doesn’t want to say anything, because she’s not sure she’s keeping it." The insider added, "[Her boyfriend] wants her to kill the baby. He thinks its bad for her career and his. But she’s trying to get him to change his mind." Could this be Cardi B? We have no idea who it is, but many are speculating that the "Bodak Yellow" star is expecting and could even be as far along as 6 months. She claims that she "just gained some weight." There were also rumors of Rihanna possibly being pregnant following her performance at the Grammy’s. Rihanna was noticeably rounder and was much slower on her feet than usual. Rihanna suffered from fluctuating weight, so some are just attributing it to that… but, a pregnancy wouldn’t be far-fetched. She’s been in a loving relationship with her billionaire bf for some time now. Nicki Minaj is also rumored to be pregnant with Nas’ baby. But we doubt this rumor could be about her. She’s been out of the limelight for some months now. A few more won’t hurt her. Who do you think it is? Cardi B/Offset

There is more to it than just being Team one person or another after a split. There is also the fact that this C list celebrity has also hooked up with the now ex of our favorite former tweener turned adult singer/actress/drug addict. That was the final straw in the friendship for the actress/singer. Petra Collins (dating Justin Theroux)/Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber

285. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#2**
This former A+ list politician who is running again for yet another position he has not held before is trying like crazy to keep his name out of the fact that he is now at least partly responsible for the two largest toy chains in the US to go under and this time around 33K jobs. Mitt Romney (U.S. Senate Utah) ("Toys ‘R’ Us" and "KB Toys")

286. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#3**
This foreign born athlete is hopeful that the new freedom that this foreign former boy bander is showing sexually will allow them to finally step out as a couple together. Xavier Dolan/Harry Styles

287. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#4**
This foreign born initialed last name A-/B+ list singer/songwriter says she is not apologizing for using the N word and will say it when she wants. Charli XCX

288. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#5**
This former Disney actress turned future porn star walked out of a recent movie premiere to share some lines of coke with this foreign born former A+ list tweener. Bella Thorne/Justin Bieber

289. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#6**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor with a franchise he was stripped of has probably dropped to B list now. He was always a jerk when he was at his peak and now that he is being given a second chance he is still being a jerk. He is just more aggressive about it now towards women and no one likes working with him on his new show. Brendan Fraser ("The Mummy") ("Trust")

290. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#7**
This A- list mostly television actress from a hit network show based on the life of its creator says she was recently ghosted after three dates by a guy she is now convinced was a reporter just trying to get some stories out of her.

291. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#8**
This director used to work with this A list mostly movie actress all the time. They even had a secret sexual relationship she tried to keep super quiet even though he wanted the world to know. When she dumped him for someone else he was crushed and vowed to never work with her again even though some of her biggest successes were in his movies. Apparently the whole relationship has taken a strange turn and he is stalking her I guess you could say, although it is not a physical stalking. He sent her a short film that included shots of her and also a body double he used in other scenes and he was in it and the whole thing was just a very creepy vibe that has her really freaked out. Uma Thurman/Quentin Tarantino; Jennifer Lawrence/David O. Russell

292. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#9**
Porn Star Death #1: This just about permanent A- list mostly television actor/former host who is known by all of you and was everywhere back in the day is aging. He got a 20 year old porn star pregnant and told her he would marry her if she got an abortion. She did and he dumped her. Shortly thereafter, she killed herself. Olivia Nova

293. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#10**
Porn Star Death #2: Speaking of porn stars, which I have been doing a lot of the past week or so to try and figure out if any of the five recent deaths are connected, we have the answer to one of the deaths in #9. The answer to a second porn star death is that one of the doctors prescribing her pills was also sleeping with her and very jealous. When she went away to rehab and got clean, she had no use for him and met someone in rehab she was falling in love with. When she got out of rehab, he showed up at her door the first day with a bottle of pills and some wine. He also had a big stack of cash. She had not been able to work for some time and needed the money. He said he would give it to her if he she had some wine with him. She agreed and then she mixed some pills with it. He stayed with her for three days. He finally had to leave to go to work and she escaped to rehab. Apparently she took the bottle of pills with her and one night took them all and died. Olivia Lua

294. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#11**
The Cult's Money Man - Mr. Hedge: Most of his success comes from a brilliant move about a decade or so ago. No other way to describe it. He was comfortably wealthy back then. Then he made one of the all-time smartest investment moves anyone has ever made in that industry. He was part of the cult back then, and donated like everyone else. As his investment began to bear fruit, his giving to the cult grew tremendously. As of a few years ago, he was the largest donor to the cult, by far. His giving was in its own category. Around that time, a certain website, known for its very detailed research about the cult, wrote some very unflattering things about our money man and some adoptions. Our money man was not a big figure to the general public, but he was now beginning to appear prominently whenever anyone searched for a story about the cult. The cult got involved with the big search engine to help fix that part. In very recent years, his giving to the cult multiplied once again. He also made a very large real estate purchase, which has raised questions. In recent months, rumors have swirled that our Money Man may be in the process of leaving the cult. He may have even left already. This coincides with what appears to be a big change in very close personal relationship, but nothing is official yet. The cult is doing everything they can to make sure he is happy and keeps giving. They are really sweating this one out. If this whale stays with the cult, he has the potential to take the entire cult's financials to a whole new level, on a permanent basis. Bob Duggan (Pretoria Ideal Org) (Diamond Maximus with Honors for $42 million donation)

295. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#12**
This peeking his head out of the closet one named permanent A list singer met up with a guy he had met online at the West Hollywood Target. Apparently they connected because they walked over to The Zone spa and had sex. Usher

296. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#13**
I am convinced this foreign born B list mostly television actor from a hit almost television show doesn't care whether his actress girlfriend lives or dies. She has been unconscious a couple of times in the past four days from partying too hard with him and he just keeps pushing and pushing. Charlie Heaton/Natalia Dyer ("Stranger Things")

297. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#14**
Why yes, that was this more than two named A- list actor/host all of you know from multiple hit television shows and even a movie franchise cuddling up to a person at a dinner that was most definitely not his significant other. Neil Patrick Harris (David Burtka)

298. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#15**
The quiet brother in this acting family was at it again. The A/A- list mostly movie actor who all of you know dropped $50K last weekend at a strip club in NYC. He spent the vast majority of it on one dancer. Luke Wilson

299. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#16**
Turned Out: This actress was still a couple years from being legal when she moved out of her home. She was probably a B-/C+ list mostly television actress at her peak. She regularly appeared on a long running network hit. When she began to get noticed by people on the streets, one man took a very big interest. He was well over a decade older than her but started wining her and dining her and the next thing you know she was moving out of her house and moving in with him. She would go to work during the day and at night she would have to have sex with as many as five or six guys a night, all of whom wanted to have sex with the underage actress who they saw on television every week. Her "boyfriend" was charging each man at least $1000 and they would just cycle in and out all night. This went on for months and months. The "boyfriend" was making nearly $100K a month just off the actress and he wanted more. He convinced her to find other actresses she would meet on auditions and soon enough she was joined by a rotating cast of mid teen actresses, one of whom would become a regular in several Disney shows. As for our actress? She was killed by a competitor of her "boyfriend" who wanted her for his own business. Tara Correa McMullen ("Judging Amy")

300. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#1**
This A list mostly television actor is the star of a very hit network show after starring on another long running network show for the same network. One of his co-stars is probably wondering if she is going to be back next season after leaking news of the actor's impending divorce to the titular head of the show's fan club. Michael Weatherly ("Bull", "NCIS")/Geneva Carr/Bojana Jankovic

301. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#2**
This former A list reality star who went from ensemble show to her own show and even a movie or two says she now has 24/7 armed security roaming her yard because she fears her ex is going to try and kill her. Audrina Patridge (Corey Bohan)

302. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#3**
This C list celebrity has two goals. The first is to marry this permanent A list rock star and the second is to make sure he overdoses on the heroin he uses, preferably on their wedding night. She wants his money but is tired of the beatings and the drugs. Brittany Furlan/Tommy Lee

303. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#4**
This B+ list rapper cheating on his B list celebrity in her corner of the internet wife and getting another woman pregnant was the reason they are getting divorced. Logic/Jessica Andrea

304. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#5**
While out of the country, this former B- list mostly television actor turned stay at home celebrity and guarded by his wife day and night he was hitting hard on this former A list mostly television actress who was last spotted on multiple failing shows. Eddie Cibrian/LeAnn Rimes/Rachel Bilson ("Take Two" filmed in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada)

305. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#6**
This married A+ list reality star hooked up with this married convicted child molester for old times sake when she had a quick weekend visit at his beach house out of the country. Kim Kardashian/Joe Francis (Mexico)

306. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#7**
This tone deaf foreign born A+ list singer doesn't care about any of the women or men who have been subject to the violence of this former A+ list singer because he thinks the singer is cool and a lot of fun. Ed Sheeran/Chris Brown

307. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/17 **#8**
After decades of sobriety, this former A list mostly movie actor from just one franchise is back on the booze in a big way and probably needs rehab. The back from the ashes actor has been enjoying his resurgent fame a little too much. Mark Hamill ("Star Wars")

308. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#1**
This B list mostly television actor from a hit cable show recently got married. He is openly bisexual, but his new bride is closeted when it comes to that even though she has a long time girlfriend. Nico Tortorella ("Younger")/Bethany Meyers

309. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#2**
This permanent A+ list mostly movie director is rebooting an old Broadway hit for the movies. The star of the Broadway revival that led to the new movie thought he had a chance at the role, but the director is totally blowing him off for his own favorites and only gave the actor an audition to make himself look good in case anyone asked. Steven Spielberg ("West Side Story")/Matthew Hydzik

310. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#3**
This very intelligent A list model didn't exactly put those rumors to rest about what happened between the model and the A+ list singer. With a chance to set the record straight on the record with a non tabloid type of publication, she kept those NDA'd lips very much sealed. Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift

311. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#4**
I'm not sure how many ways this guy can try to seek to get a payout from the estate of this permanent A++ list singer, but he is trying a new tact to get a payday from a reality show company or a publisher. He just looks more desperate. O. J. Simpson/Michael Jackson

312. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#5**
With as many medications as she is taking, and the types of medications that have been prescribed, people are hopeful that the rumors this A list singer who has had a rough year is pregnant, are just that, rumors. Ariana Grande (Apparently she was pregnant or at least had a really big scare. When it was determined she wasn't, that is when she split with Mac Miller. Oh what might have been if she had stayed pregnant/scare proved true)

313. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#6**
This person has been a horrible person for about 20 years. Recently this horrible person received a couple high-profile image makeovers, which made no mention of their past. This site told you about a month ago, that this horrible person would not succeed at this endeavor. Many seeds had already been planted. About a week ago, it happened - in a very big, very public way. Brock Pierce (John Oliver profile - child star/cryptocurrency cowboy pimp)

314. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#7**
Shocking to say the least, but that medical facility in the African country the church used for their drug trials is trying to totally change their image and presenting to the world they are this wonderful place full of sunshine and light and beloved by celebrities instead of the death machine they have been. Mama Hope and Global Citizen (Uganda)/French Montana, P Diddy and The Weeknd

315. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#8**
This A list reality star with a very lucrative side gig has about a dozen full-time staff to help take care of her offspring. This doesn't even include all the relatives available to help. Our star just wants to get back to traveling and partying. Kylie Jenner

316. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#9**
Going back to that earlier blind. This public embarrassment went much larger than just the person. You can watch it. Lots of people did. You will laugh while watching it. Brock Pierce

317. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#10**
One thing that has changed for this original permanent A list clothing/music/television mogul is that since all the charges brought against him he has to spend about double per day what he used to to get a woman to spend time with him. Russell Simmons

318. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#11**
I find it crazy that these two rappers are fighting through social media. The two rappers most likely to sexually assault a 13 year old yet they somehow don't get along. I do notice that when they fight, they never mention how much the other likes underage teens. I guess they don't want to draw attention to it. The Game/6ix9ine

This former A+ list NFL player who you probably know even if you don't watch football is married. He is also hooking up with this foreign born A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. Apparently they met about a month ago and connected and this is an odd pairing. Peyton Manning/Charlize Theron (Daytona 500)

320. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/18 **#13**
Going back to those earlier two blinds, this person in question just got fired from his company as a result of this very funny exposure. Brock Pierce ("", the firm developing blockchain platform EOS)

321. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/19
Worried about the critical and commercial reception for his next movie, this A list filmmaker has already lined up his next movie and is instead focusing on the development on that over the editing of the previous. ‘If it bombs, he’ll be distracted by principal photography of the new movie,’ the source tells me. Steven Spielberg ("Ready Player One") (next project "West Side Story")

322. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#1**
This now aging A+ list athlete in his corner of the entertainment world is making a money grab. He is going to announce a big event and ask to be paid a guarantee upfront. He will then bail on the event before it occurs, but keep the money. Floyd Mayweather (applied for UFC license)

323. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#2**
As I told you months and months ago, this foreign born A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee was going to bomb with a big box office movie. Sure enough, it happened and now the studio doesn't want to make a sequel, at least with her. Alicia Vikander ("Tomb Raider")

324. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#3**
This A list alliterate rapper had sex with some woman backstage at a concert this weekend and told her she was awful at oral and pushed her out into a crowded hallway while she was still naked. Rick Ross

325. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#4**
This former A+ list athlete who recently retired to enjoy the life of celebrity/part-time reality star/frequent strip club patron is developing a line of custom collectible bats to commemorate his home runs. For whatever reason, his A list girlfriend is the money behind the venture, although it is technically billed as a joint venture. The original artwork for the collectibles is very on-brand - uses a former team's color scheme, very masculine. The artwork his girlfriend wants used is very off-brand - feminine colors with lots of pastels and much too feminine for this type of item. Looks more like what you would see used for a line of cosmetics or skin care. Our former athlete's people want to go with the original artwork because they know it makes more sense with the theme for sports collectibles. The girlfriend is pushing hard for her vision. Since she is the real money behind the venture, she's got big sway. The boyfriend is stuck in the middle. Will be interesting to see if money beats out good business sense in this venture. Alex (A-Rod) Rodriguez/Jennifer Lopez

326. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#5**
She is barely drinking age, but this part-time reality star who is probably a B- list celebrity is being set up by her mom with a 60 something man who is extremely wealthy. Creepy right? Well, how about that the 60 something man is the past sugar daddy of the mom. Crazy creepy. Brielle Biermann/Kim Zolciak-Biermann ("Big Poppa", Lee Najjar)

327. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#6**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor, as part of his rider, required the hotel bar where he was staying to be open 24/7 for his convenience. So, after last call, it was all his for the night and he had it to himself and a few dozen of his friends and people he met during the day. Apparently, he drank through the most expensive stuff first costing the movie production to the tune of $20K just the first night. Bill Murray

328. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#7**
This former almost A+ list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee saw her career fall off a cliff when she split with a guy who had the ability to take some professional revenge. She was out of the country this week for business and has a boyfriend, but it didn't stop her from having "dinner" with a guy for almost six figures. Hilary Swank (Liberatum Mexico Festival 2018: Gala Dinner & Liberatum Cultural Honour Awards Hosted By Pablo Ganguli)/John Campisi, Film Agent at Creative Artists Agency

329. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#8**
This foreign born A list singer married to an A lister not only nearly overdosed this weekend while out of town and away from his wife, the woman he hooked up with, did overdose and had to be rushed to the hospital. His manager told authorities she had been staying with him and not the singer and that he had no idea she even took drugs. He says that he woke up and was going to have sex with her and she was non responsive so he called the police. What really happened is the manager was worried about the singer and used a key to go in the singer's room. After ten minutes of yelling and shaking, the singer finally responded, but the naked woman did not. The manager got the singer off to the manager's room and then called 911. Keith Urban/Nicole Kidman ("RodeoHouston")

330. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#9**
This B+ list mostly movie actor had a very big award season this past year. It is also the first time many of you heard of the closeted actor. That was him in a VIP bathroom at a recent sporting event getting busted with another guy because security saw both of them go in to the bathroom designed for one. Timothee Chalamet (nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role "Call Me by Your Name") (New York Knicks Vs Philadelphia 76ers game at Madison Square Garden)

331. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#10**
Long before she became a network reality star/seller of products/infomercial queen, she was an assistant at a talent agency. Not just any assistant. She was in close proximity to the head of one of the largest agencies in the world. That head of the agency bragged about having underage sex with a minor. Group sex. Lori Greiner/Ari Emanuel

332. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#11**
This B+ list mostly television actress/former pro beard had an interesting gig. Her job last week at an event was to try and get this A- list mostly television actress/reality star to talk about that group she used to belong to. The conversation was supposed to be recorded and then the group was going to edit it in such a way to make the actress look bad. Apparently the B+ lister bailed on doing it though. It creeped her out. Olivia Munn/Leah Remini (2018 A+E Upfront) (Scientology)

333. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#12**
Not only is this former A- list mostly movie actress who seemingly made a career from one movie three decades ago cheating on her permanent A list significant other, she took out yet another huge life insurance policy on him naming herself the beneficiary. Daryl Hannah ("Blade Runner" or "Splash")/Neil Young

334. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#13**
While all his other co-stars are just hooking up with random women (yes, including that former cable actor who supposedly has a significant other), this A+/A list mostly movie actor has just been drinking to the point where he might have to pull out of the project. Ben Affleck (Charlie Hunnam/Morgana McNelis) ("Triple Frontier" in Hawaii)

335. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#14**
While out of the country, this A- list singer/bad actress is recruiting teen girls to go on "missions" to Asia and the Middle East. Because the teens all look up to her, of course they are going to do it. Things are going to be so bad in the next couple years when this all comes out. Selena Gomez in Australia ("Hillsong" Church)

336. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#15**
This B- list celebrity offspring who is only that high because of her parental units and what happened to her when she was younger is in full on relapse mode. Goodness she was sloppy over the weekend. She is drinking and drugging again. Someone needs to help her fast. Ireland Baldwin (Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin)
 (Alec’s threatening voicemail calling her "thoughtless little pig")

337. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/19 **#16**
Guess The Athlete: Let’s change the pace of our guess the athlete today. Our athlete today is relatively new to their sport. Although not considered a big money sport yet, it is a growing sport. Unlike some sports discussed, this is a world wide sport. Although rare, some members of this sport do attain household name status. Big name status. Now, why would this be considered noteworthy, you ask? This sport is arguably THE single dirtiest sport out there. Has been for a long time. The use of chemicals in this sport is years ahead of any other sport out there. Athletes from other sports often consult with trainers from this sport to gain a "competitive edge". Our athlete today is still a year or so away from their peak. Yet this athlete recently started to jump into the upper echelon of their sport. This athlete made jaws drop at a competition recently due to the degree of which they dominated. The only thing keeping this athlete from becoming the face of their sport is questionable issues and events that are ongoing in their personal life. Issues that make the officials of the athletic governing board nervous. Once those issues are resolved, this athlete is on track for household name status in the manner much like others in this sport. And our athlete today knows that. You may not know this athlete now. But I am highly confident you will be seeing a lot of this athlete in the future. For better, or for worse.
Shanique Grant

338. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/20
Apparently audio exists of this fairly disliked A list actress slamming down drinks and ranting angrily at an industry event. Several actresses, believed friends and secret enemies, are targeted during the wild rant, which would be sure to create about a billion TMZ and Daily Mail articles and possibly mean war between the actress and her so called friends. No idea if the audio has been snapped up by the actress or a member of her team, but it wasn’t available for purchase when we enquired. Gwyneth Paltrow ("Sun Valley Film Festival Vision Award")

339. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#1**
Considering they never even had sex, I thought it was pretty nice of this former A- list actress to even say anything nice about her sex life with this former A+ list rapper. He has issues performing because of certain idiosyncrasies he has. Vivica A. Fox/50 Cent

340. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#2**
Everyone is talking about a recent surprise performance. Well, it all happened because the closeted surprise performer went on a couple dates back in the day with the person having the show, who just so happens to be our favorite closeted former network actor who is going to get an Emmy nomination. JC Chasez/Darren Criss

341. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#3**
This permanent A+ list director is looking to cast children in an upcoming huge movie even though there have never been any children in any version of the basis for that movie at any time. Steven Spielberg ("West Side Story")

342. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#4**
This former tweener turned A- list singer/part-time actress recently had a miscarriage right before 12 weeks. I'm not sure who the dad was, and from what I understand she had at least two possibilities. Selena Gomez (Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber or Scooter Braun)

343. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#5**
This permanent A list rocker was really out of it at a recent dinner. He was talking to himself and kept getting up and down while at the table. He would pace around in a circle before he would finally agree to sit back down and then repeat the process three or four minutes later. It was driving the diners closest to him and his significant other, nuts. Steven Tyler

344. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#6**
This foreign born A+/A list singer in his own country who does a lot of reality there is in the stable of this mogul. You know what that means of course. As he did with his biggest stars ever, if you are gay, you stay closeted and our mogul will find you a beard. He turned to the US for a beard for this singer/reality star. Simon Cowell/Olly Murs/Britanny Allyn

345. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#7**
I hadn't heard of him going before, but it looks like this permanent A list mogul/wannabe rapper who really wants to make his own music and not have to glom onto others because they feel obligated attended that sex retreat in Arizona to "get his mind right." Sean "Diddy" Combs

346. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#8**
This multiple Grammy Award winner/nominee has won a lot of other awards too. He is permanent A list in his corner of the singing world. He has a side gig. It is a gig where he is introduced to teens and young men who come to him looking for answers. Instead of those answers, they are often molested and even raped by the A lister. He passes around these teens and young men to others in his group who are even more violent and twisted. This has been going on for decades but the pressure put on the teens and young men to say and do nothing is immense. I only know a couple of men who have spoken up and they have either been shut down by legal threats or their voices were lost in an abyss and never made a dent. That is about to change. I think within the next few weeks, this will all start coming to light. Donnie McClurkin (gospel singer and minister)

347. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#9**
This A list mostly movie actor had a big year movie wise and a pretty cult like meme following. On the set of his new movie he is cheating on his wife. He is also cheating on his wife off the set. Adam Driver/Joanne Tucker (Scarlett Johansson "Untitled Noah Baumbach Project")

348. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#10**
One of the lead actors of this new movie which is a sequel to a movie that didn't do that well and the sequel is going to do worse didn't even bother to show up for a Q&A about the movie. Why? He wants as far away from the bomb as he can. He let the other lead, a foreign born A- list mostly movie actor handle the duties solo.
Movie: "Pacific Rim Uprising"
Actor who didn’t show: Scott Eastwood
Actor who did show: John Boyega

349. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#11**
At this point, this B+ list celebrity offspring from an offspring family of wannabe models should just move in with her drug dealer. She is hanging out with him 24/7, whether at work or home. Bella Hadid

350. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#12**
Back in the day when this permanent A list mostly movie actress who has been married to a permanent A list mostly movie actor with very little acting ability and a former A list mostly television actor with very little acting ability was married to the former she was going to cheat. With who? This permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. The first husband was away making a movie and our actress was going to hook up with the still quite young actor. Apparently he couldn't stand to attention and our actress laughed at him. They have not spoken since.

A list mostly movie actress: Demi Moore
Permanent A list mostly movie actor with very little acting ability: Bruce Willis
Former A list mostly television actor with very little acting ability: Ashton Kutcher
Permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee: Leonardo DiCaprio

351. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#13**
This foreign born A list model at least on her Instagram probably is unaware that her brand new significant other secretly recorded them having sex on at least one occasion. Probably going to hold that over her during any divorce negotiations. Emily Ratajkowski/Sebastian Bear-McClard

352. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#14**
This foreign born former model turned A- list actress who stars in a hit almost television show was denied service the other day at a restaurant because she had so many open sores on her body. They told her to cover up and she could come back. Ruby Rose

353. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#15**
Apparently this former A- list reality star tried to force a threesome with his girlfriend and this foreign born B+ list model/part-time actress from a celebrity family. The foreign born celebrity was having none of it. Scott Disick/Sofia Richie/Lottie Moss (Kate’s sister)

354. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/20 **#16**
Killer Comedian - Old Hollywood: I suppose as time passes, the name of this actor becomes less known, but in the all time history of movies he is a permanent A lister. If you are too young, you might not know his name, but if you read any history of movies book, he will be at the top for what he did film making wise. He was foreign born. Lets call him MG. He had his greatest success working with a co-star. The same co-star. Another star of many of these same films was an actress who was probably A- list. Lets call her BG She was a staple of the films. She also was having sex with our permanent A list actor. He always made her have sex to keep the role. Even if they were each married, he would still make her. This is where it gets interesting. BG was having an affair with a married man which began while she was still married. This married man, we will call SC. He discovered that BG was hooking up with MG and there was a big fight. So, BG went over to the home of MG. Apparently MG was about to get married to a woman he would end up marrying more than once. But, as it happened, MG hadn't told BG that he was getting married. MG had been telling BG he wanted to marry BG. At that point, in the middle of the night, BG said that in the morning she was going to tell everything to the soon to be wife of MG. BG then drove off and went to the home of SC. She tried to get in but he wouldn't let her. An hour or so later, MG showed up and sneaked in through a side door of the garage and strangled BG to death with a pair of tights. He then turned on the engine of the car and walked out. Now, what is interesting is that even though everyone suspected BG had been killed, everyone assumed it was the scorned wife of SC that did it. Nope. Now you know who it was.

MG: Stan Laurel (married Virginia Ruth Rogers twice)
Co-star: Oliver Hardy
BG: Thelma Todd
SC: Roland West (Jewel Carmen)

355. THE GOSSIP LIFE 03/21
This retired baseball player might be a living legend, but that doesn’t mean he’ll play ball when it comes to autographs and selfies. Several sources have told me over the years that [name omitted] is one of the most difficult celebrities to get a signature from and is known to reject selfie requests from kids and fans alike. People have speculated that he’s a gigantic asshole since his rise to fame, but it’s always nice to have confirmation.

356. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#1**
This twenty something A-List actor/singer has been dating his more famous for her last name girlfriend for over a year. Although most people assume that the A-Lister’s girlfriend is his beard, they are in a real relationship... but that doesn’t mean he is completely straight. The couple has been hiring gay porn actors to have threesomes with for the past few months. It turns out the A-Lister finally found a girl that loves watching him with another guy and joining in on the fun, the A-Lister also loves all of the attention. Zac Efron/Alexandra Daddario

357. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#2**
No matter how often I write about them here or the rest of the world shares on social media, it seems this former tweener turned A- list singer/former reality judge just can't start treating her fans with anything but contempt. I just wrote about her two weeks ago treating a fan like crap and now she is treating dozens and dozens at a time like crap all while raking in huge amounts of money for it and then going on social media and telling her fans that if it is not good enough for them that she treats you like crap for your hard earned money that she will just stop meeting them all together. She won't though because she wants that money. Demi Lovato

358. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#3**
This foreign born really rich guy who had an obsession with a permanent A list singer is doing the equivalent of the mobster who walked the streets of NYC in a bathrobe every day. The rich guy is trying to escape some very serious charges that were leveled against him, but would prefer to just wear his bathrobe around young models and release a press statement than walk the street each day to make his point. James Packer (Mariah Carey)

359. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#4**
This one named A- list rapper is doing his best to convince the world he wasn't cheating on his wife. Even his wife believes him. Uh huh. Good luck with that. This will all work out until the woman you are seeing and were seeing gets dumped by you and then starts telling everyone the timeline of your dating. A timeline which she is already telling her friends. So, when you do show up in public with her and tell everyone you just met and didn't start dating until after your split, you better hope she signs an NDA or your wife will be even more heartbroken. Logic/Jessica Andrea

360. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#5**
Probably the greatest child star of the past generation or two, he made it all the way to A+ list as a child. He saved a lot of his money, which is a good thing. He can't really get work at acting any longer, mainly because of his constant struggle with drugs and his penchant for being drunk every day by the early afternoon because he says it keeps him from using harder drugs if he is drunk or passed out from drinking. Macaulay Culkin

361. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#6**
This barely legal rapper was talked into dropping almost $25K on his former stripper turned reality star turned escort turned celebrity girlfriend. At the same time, she was sexting a guy she was going to see the next day. Blac Chyna/YBN Almighty Jay

362. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#7**
This permanent A list singer who no longer actually sings or really does much dancing at all on stage despite how she used to move, is in a new ad campaign. The problem is, even they didn't really know what to do with those new lips of hers that are all sorts of wonky. Britney Spears ("Kenzo")

363. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#8**
This management company finally dropped this DJ after being publicly shamed for repping him in the light of rape claims. HOWEVER, much like the case of Louis CK, this management company was made aware of multiple rape claims against the DJ five months ago but did not drop their client because the claims were not made public. Instead, they treated the claims like a shakedown. The victims only wanted an apology and nothing else but the management company ignored their requests. Considering the events that have gone on now, this is going to look really bad if any of these women sue the DJ. I would really like to see this flash in the pan A list singer who took a stand for women well over a decade ago with her anthem leave the agency because of this, but she probably won't. Datsik (Deckstar & Circle Talent Agency)

364. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#9**
This A- list mostly television actor gets that high because his television show is doing well. Even though his career has been for the most part, middling, all of you know him. A famous marriage will do that to you. Anyway, he is blowing his sobriety by partying this week with a group of escorts he is rotating between while out of the country. Ryan Phillippe (Reese Witherspoon) ("Shooter") in Cabo, Mexico

365. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#10**
This still a teenager, A- list mostly movie actress found out her 50' something year old boyfriend is married when she was introduced to his wife this week. Joey King (at SXSW); Elle Fanning (The Hollywood Reporter And Jimmy Choo Power Stylists Dinner)

366. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#11**
This still technically married former A-/B+ list mostly movie actress is dipping her toe in the yachting waters. Not full on yachting, but she did agree to meet up with a guy to discuss it. It is not like she hasn't done this before. Back in her single days, she did it a lot. I guess that divorce payout is not going to be that high. Jennifer Garner; Rebecca Gayheart (Eric Dane)

367. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#12**
When those pictures of this married former naked celebrity turned reality star turned porn star turned celebrity turned reality star come out, showing her with a man not her husband doing things a married woman does not usually do with another man while married, she will be ready. The tabloids are already slow walking the soon to be split announcement. Kendra Wilkinson/Hank Baskett

368. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#13**
While in town this week, this normally out of town A list mostly television actor from a loooooooong running hit show was sent a companion for the week from that church that seems to specialize in it. His many donations to the church, even though there is no location where he lives most of the year are apparently appreciated. I'm sure the actor's wife probably would not be on the same page.

369. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#14**
This permanent A+ list west coast rapper is married. He also is supporting another woman who is the mother of three children of the rapper. Snoop Dogg; Dr. Dre; Ice Cube

370. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#15**
This foreign born A list singer was always going to perform despite what he said or the 30 minute rant about the wrong flowers in his dressing room. He just made himself look like an idiot with his diva act. Sam Smith

371. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/21 **#16**
Baby Oil: Whenever I think of baby oil and naked bodies, it is generally in a comic sense like in the movies Caddyshack or Van Wilder. Yes, I have watched Van Wilder. No, I am not ashamed. Yes, I have watched the sequel, and no, I am not ashamed. Anyway, I recently learned that there is a club for all the people that have been paid to be with this former/not going to work again/going to stay in hiding for a long time A list director. They call themselves the baby oil club. One person who was in the club was paid by the director to be with him beginning when he was 16. He was promised roles in movies and given a little bit each month to be with the director. The teen said he knew when the director was going to demand sex because the director would reach for a bottle of a never ending supply of baby oil and insist the boy get them both completely oiled from head to toe. The teen said baby oil and coke don't mix by the way and that by the end of the night there was always a fine layer of coke stuck to the bodies because of the baby oil. He remembers one time the director was filming what turned out to be an awful version of that classic superhero. It was the installment with the disgraced actor in it. Anyway, the disgraced actor also was into the baby oil game but used it to inflict as much pain as possible on to whatever barely legal teen he was with that night. The actor would find whatever was within reach and try to insert it into places it was not meant to be inserted. He would yell and scream at any guy who tried to get away and berate him by reminding him who was paying. He was a truly awful human being. For years, this teen who stayed with the director until a year or so after turning 18 was promised parts. He got one part in all those years. A tiny little part in a pseudo sea creature sounding movie where he played a male escort.

Director: Bryan Singer
Movie: "Superman Returns"
Disgraced actor: Kevin Spacey

Baby oil victim: Nicolas Walier
Tiny part in movie: waiter in "Valkyrie"

372. POPBITCH 03/22
(British blog) Which high-ranking record exec dropped his wallet in front of a waitress at the BRITs last month so that he could make an ever-so fresh "WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, LUV!" joke when she bent over to pick it up for him? And all while wearing his white rose #MeToo badge...

373. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#1**
And so it begins. Honestly, I am surprised it took this long for the tabloids to try and put this former tabloid cover couple back together. Don't believe the hype though, the two A listers are not hooking up or meeting up, but it wouldn't shock me if the one who is a master of publicity isn't having her people leak that they are. Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt

374. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#2**
This foreign born permanent A list singer is closeted. Her long time girlfriend was left shattered when the singer showed off some young guy she was supposedly dating and let the world think she was dating. Apparently they talked it out though because the girlfriend has been with the singer at several recent doctor appointments and they look closer than ever. Celine Dion

375. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#3**
At this point, the network really doesn't have any choice but to play things out and hope they get better. They can't cancel the show because they will look like idiots and they can't fire the host they think is responsible because they owe him a ton of money and can't be sure he is 100% of the problem. The show's ratings are in the tank and at this point, it won't be back next year or forever. "ABC"/"American Idol"/Ryan Seacrest

376. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#4**
It wasn't that she was a diva. Honestly, she acted like she couldn't believe her career had come down to her spending time holding up products for photos. This former Disney actress who is probably a B list actress rolled her eyes the whole time and was talking out loud to her people there that was this really all they could get her work wise. They kept saying it is a lot of money for just a few minutes. The company is using the photos, but there could not possibly be even one where she is not smirking or rolling her eyes. Ashley Tisdale

377. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#5**
If you ever wonder how this flash in the pan former B+ list singer manages to stay in the limelight despite not doing anything of note in almost a decade, it is because he is paid a tremendous amount of money each year to stay quiet about activities of this dadager with whom he used to be close and also to facilitate meetings between the dadager and people the singer thinks would be a good fit for the dadager. He also facilitates other transactions of a different nature for those closest to him. So, despite his total lack of success or even a blip of anything, he is actually in high demand for events. Ryan Cabrera (Joe Simpson)

378. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#6**
This actress I guarantee you have never heard of is foreign born. Interestingly enough she is from the same country as an actress many of you know from bad publicity but probably have never seen anything she has been in unless you have Googled simply out of curiosity. None of you said, "OMG, a new _____________ movie is coming out. I cannot wait." Anyway, it turns out the pair used to team up on threesomes with very rich men and this first actress I mentioned is about to speak out about it and it is some juicy stuff that will put A listers from outside the movie business under a very harsh spotlight.

379. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#7**
Earlier I told you about an actress who hates doing product placement photos. Well, quite the opposite for this former A list athlete in her corner of the entertainment world. She has always been about commercials and ads because being in front of the camera artificially inflated her career success. Anyway, two weeks ago, while taking time out from her fake relationship, she hung out in a studio with different sets designed to look like different rooms in a house. For six hours she changed clothes and rooms and took pictures with one product after the next just piling up cash. Danica Patrick (Aaron Rodgers)

380. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#8**
This former A+ list mostly television actor is probably A/A- list right now. Middling almost television show. At a recent big annual event, there was a party and our married actor continued to show why he is such a tool. At the insistence of a permanent A list entertainment legend/mogul, our actor made out with one stripper while another orally serviced him all the while surrounded by other guys clapping and cheering. Ashton Kutcher/Guy Oseary (Sound Ventures Presents 'The Party' with a DJ Set by Snoop Dogg and a Solo Performance by St. Vincent)

381. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#9**
This foreign born permanent A list mostly movie actor has a title in his home country. He shared a story last night about an incident that happened to him many years ago. He was doing a play and the stage manager walked in on the actor having sex with a co-star. The co-star was bent over with coke all over his back. Our actor looked at the stage manager and said either join in or get out. The stage manager got out. Sir Ian McKellen

382. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#10**
Apparently this A list mostly movie actor who is a superhero is not concerned about what his now ex who also used to be an ex is going to spill about his crazy sex life and living arrangements. Even as much as she wanted to be with him, the actress just couldn't handle it any longer. She is a talker though so I hope she didn't sign anything. Chris Evans/Jenny Slate

383. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#11**
This A- list mostly movie actress has been seeing another guy for a year. Yes, I know she is technically still married, but that has been done and gone, despite what her actor husband does to try and keep it together. Jennifer Garner/Ben Affleck

384. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#12**
This B+ list mostly television actor on a very hit, very long running network show has a girlfriend, but it didn't stop him from hooking up with this A- list male reality star who is having a very big television year.

385. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#13**
This A-/B+ list foreign born mostly television actress has a new network show. She wasn't sure if she would get another great part after she turned down this married A- list mostly television actor who stars on this hit pay cable show. Shaunette Renée Wilson ("The Resident")/Damian Lewis ("Billions")

386. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#14**
This A- list celebrity offspring is acting free and loose, but he is about to have to pay a massive chunk of his fortune away and has no prospects for earning more money on the horizon. Charlie Sheen (lawsuit with National Enquirer)

387. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#15**
This former A- list mostly movie actor who all of you know despite the fact he has not worked in years tried to get the tabloids to do what they do and write a story about him. They were up for it until he said that he wanted to look good and his acting brother to look bad. The tabloids think the brother is a bigger star so won't cross him. Randy and Dennis Quaid

388. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/22 **#16**
Night Of Horrors: He was there not as an actor that night. He was there as a producer. There was the Academy Awards. All of you know him. Everyone knew him then and this was back in the day. He comes from an acting family. Depending on the generation in which you lived, it is arguable who was the biggest star in the family. What the family members have in common is a history of serial abuse. That particular Oscar year, our producer/actor got some drugs from Dr. Feelgood at the Playboy Mansion. About 40 minutes before the show he ran into a female seat filler who was headed inside. He stopped her and chatted her up and offered a drink to her. She accepted. That was a really bad decision on her part. Apparently our producer/actor also drugged this at the time A- list mostly movie actress who was a nominee that year. During the show, our producer/actor kept tabs on the seat filler. When she started staggering, our actor jumped in to help her out. She says she woke up in the electric company parking lot with her dress around her waist. She had been raped by our producer/actor. Meanwhile, our A- list nominated actress was also in trouble. She was about to pass out even though her award was about to be announced. If she had won that year, she would never have made it to the stage. After the end of the show, our producer/actor made sure to take special care of the actress because she seemed out of it. She says that between the end of the show and the dinner, our producer/actor raped her. She has never gone out with a man since. Michael Douglas ("One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest")/Carol Kane ("Hester Street")

389. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#1**
This C list actor/celebrity many of you know. You might not know his name, but you would know him as the soon to be ex of this A-/B+ list singer/actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. He likes to make it look like he is trying to find work, but he just does it for show. He wants the big payday from the ex which is fine and all because that's the way life works, but it isn't like he couldn't make a ton on his own with his background and it is just sad to watch. David Otunga (Harvard Law School law degree)/Jennifer Hudson

390. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#2**
This B/B- list rapper/producer has been going through some rough times as of late. He has been suffering from depression and can't stop taking PCP. This is not a good combination. He needs some professional help, but no one can find him. He is going to end up killing himself or others unless he gets help. Kevin McCall
 (broke & hungry) (shot in the foot)

391. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#3**
This one named A- list producer/rapper who is out of the country spent a night this week in a country where the age of consent is 15. He spent a ton of money to keep as many 15 year olds coming to him as possible. The guy makes me sick. He will probably end up moving there. The Game (Slovenia)

392. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#4**
This A list director is trying to throw his A list ex under the bus because he blames her drinking for their most recent movie together being a bomb. He thinks it was all her fault. Darren Aronofsky/Jennifer Lawrence ("Mother")

Apparently there is video of this one named singer/actress/reality star doing drugs and talking about how she only has sex with guys for money. It is not a good look. This is what happens when you start throwing shade at relatives who have access to the recordings. Brandy/Ray J (his wife Princess Love)

394. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#6**
This A-/B+ list actress singer who all of you know is on vacation right now. It was supposed to be with her boyfriend but he bailed once his wife found out about the affair he was having with the actress/singer. Our actress/singer had no idea. She has the worst radar when it comes to picking guys. Lea Michele

395. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#7**
So, this for right now A list rapper is sticking with her guy because she loves him and she is pregnant with his baby. Yes, she is sticking with him even though his ex is going to have his baby any day now and another ex is set to have a baby with him in the next month and he has I believe three other children with three other women. But yeah, this time is love. Cardi B/Offset

396. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#8**
You know what? Missing from that self fellating article that this artist wrote about himself where he basically said he is a victim and misunderstood and that critics suck is that he is an awful human being. Well, let me tell you a different set of facts. You had a child star doing what was really her first transition to being an actress as a career. She had always been on the edge and figured this was a good place to start. My feeling about this film in relation to her is that it changed how she saw acting and Hollywood and has affected her for two decades. At the beginning she was this loving person who was full of life and after the film was over, she was 180 from that. He treated her like crap. He verbally abused her. He threatened her everyday to fire her if she ate any food. He would scream at her because she wouldn't sleep with him. Even after the movie ended, he would call her and scream at her. When he was editing the movie he would call and yell at her and tell her to lose more weight. I feel like he scarred her for life. Vincent Gallo/Christina Ricci ("Buffalo 66")

397. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#9**
This permanent A+ list singer has picked up a huge paycheck while throwing some subtle shade at this foreign born A list singer who once slept with the A+ list singer's husband. Beyonce got a huge check from Snapchat who Rihanna dumped after they made light of her being beaten by Chris Brown

398. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#10**
This former tweener actress who had her own show now is so desperate she has lowered her appearance fee to $2500 and still can barely get booked. She spends more on clothes and makeup and hair than she is earning for each booking. Victoria Justice

399. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#11**
Missing from a recent red carpet she was supposed to attend was this pint sized reality star. Her marriage is on the rocks and any time apart will bring it to a quick end. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

400. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#12**
There has been a director sighting. In Hawaii working with one of his old bosses/handlers who has been comforting the director with college students from the university where he "mentors" some of them. Apparently he only mentors young gay men. Bryan Singer (Chris Lee)

401. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#13**
This new this season network show features two married leads who are also married to each other on the show. If this show goes longer than another season, they will end up becoming a public real life couple. Right now, it is just behind the scenes. Jenna Fischer/Oliver Hudson ("Splitting Up Together")

402. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#14**
This former B list mostly television actress with an alliteration for her name told her ex she was unable to get pregnant, so this should all be very interesting the next year. Meghan Markle (Trevor Engelson)

403. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#15**
This married former A++ list politician that everyone on earth knows is having an affair with a staffer of his who used to be a production assistant on a morning news show. The woman, does not actually appear to do any work, but is listed as a staffer. Bill Clinton

404. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/23 **#16**
The Jacuzzi: There were all kinds of areas for couples to get together in this club, but there was one certain Jacuzzi that was the sole domain of this permanent A list actor/singer/entertainer. He would go to Studio 54 for a few hours and find some women to hook up with and to score some coke. If they wanted some of that coke, they would have to leave the club with him and go to a sex club. They would then be taken to his special Jacuzzi. He wouldn't allow them to talk to other men. They all had to stay in the Jacuzzi with him. He would make the women get naked and have sex with each other while he watched. If he didn't think they were trying, or just out for his coke, he would kick them out of the tub, naked and have them escorted by security out of the area. He wouldn't let them retrieve their clothes. More than one of those women was raped or sexually assaulted on her way out of the sex club. He didn't care. He would keep the women with him for hours and hours as he became more and more drunk and more and more demanding. He loved humiliating them and night after night he would do the same thing with a different group of women. This went on for almost a year straight. Whenever someone says that he was a great guy, I remember how bad he treated all these women and how many had to take a cab in the middle of a NYC winter wearing nothing but a robe because they didn't like the way they had been treated. Sammy Davis Jr.
 ("Plato’s Retreat")

Ashanti revealed her own sexual harassment experience in the music business. The singer opened up about her own #MeToo experience during SiriusXM's "Conversations with Maria Menounos" radio show where she revealed what a producer once tried to make her do. "I've come across a situation where there was a certain producer that, you know, he had his little crush or whatever, but it wasn't anything new, you know?" she said. "And once I said 'no,' all of a sudden the track became $45K." "It's funny because he said something like, 'Well just take a shower with me and let me do this,'" she recalled. Ashanti, now 37, said that lucky for her she had "scary" big brothers who approached the producer and got their sister an apology. "The way that apology came in, I actually got three records for free!" she said. "And I got two of them mixed and mastered for free also." The "Happy" singer said some women aren't so lucky and that is why the #MeToo movement is important, so that no more women have to feel pressured into doing anything just to make it. "I'm blessed because I have that," she told Menounos, adding of harassment in the business, "It happen it does and it's unfortunate." Ashanti was discovered when she was just a teenager and went on to be signed by Murder Inc. Records in 2001 — at age 20. She was the first woman to occupy two simultaneous spots on the Billboard Hot 100.

I'm three minutes into a rehearsal on the first day of my episode of The Vampire Diaries when I notice an actor is missing. I immediately know something is wrong. Rehearsals simply don't go on without actors, and this one in particular is never late, never unprepared. I stand quietly for a moment considering my next move. I'm the writer and on-set producer of this episode, so I know it's up to me to discreetly pull the director aside to carefully try and correct this mistake. I want to tell him straight out: "You forgot to include an actor in this scene. And he has to be here." But I'm a low-level writer. I don't have the experience or guts to be so direct. Instead, I look at my script, bite my lip and walk a tightrope with every word I choose: "Can we include all the actors in the scene as scripted please? Maybe you have different plans I'm not familiar with, but I worry the plot won't make sense without him. ..." The director's face turns crimson with rage, his eyes dart around the room, quickly assessing how he can use the private space I've put us in to his advantage. I immediately assume I've made some career-ending mistake, and I try to buy it back by apologizing. But he stares me down, spit forming in the corners of his mouth as he screams: "If I wanted to talk to a nagging cunt, I'd go home to my wife." My arms instantly go numb; my feet feel nailed to the floor as that sentence hangs between us. Then he smiles, gently brushing his hand down my cheek and pinching it. Hard. He walks away, cool and collected as he asks his assistant to invite the missing actor to set. "Anything for our Finchie," he laughs. And I laugh back. I laugh for every damn day of that shoot. Laugh through his lewd jokes about actresses' bodies and lingering hugs and clammy hands on the back of my neck, giving me massages I never want but allow anyway. I laugh and allow it because I don't want the reputation of being "that girl," because surely other people have it much worse so I should be able to handle this, because maybe just maybe my plaintive smiles give him permission, because somewhere along the way I internalized the misguided notion that this is "the price you pay" — because of a million reasons that all boil down to: I worked my ass off to get this job. I don't want to lose it. So I keep my mouth shut. After the very last shot of my episode, I walk off the soundstages, out of earshot, and scream bloody murder into the dark Atlanta sky. Just as I'm done shaking and shouting and allowing myself to feel all the rage I denied myself for two weeks straight, I bump into my boss, Julie Plec. Over the course of my first season, Julie has become more than the showrunner, she's my mentor, my friend. But in that moment, she's the last person I want to see. I try to smile and hurry off to my rental car, but she can tell I'm shaken. She asks how the episode went. "He was ... not nice. He said some ... not nice things to me. As a woman. But, hey, we got it done. I think we got what we needed." I try to soften it, make it seem like I handled it all. I assume she'll be proud of me. Instead, she starts yelling. She tells me I was wrong. Wrong to assume that my job is to just suck it up and pretend it's fine. Wrong not to tell her on day one. In that moment, I understand she's not yelling at me. She is not shaming me. She is clear. And unwavering. And wants to be sure I hear every damn word when she says: "It is not your job to take abuse or accept unacceptable behavior because you're young and a woman. That is not your job." There is no judgment or blame in her voice, only strength and certainty. And it's because of that strength and certainty I hear her, I believe her. I nod, thank her perfunctorily. And then I walk away. When my hands put my keys in the ignition, I notice they aren't shaking anymore. There is nothing unique about the harassment itself that I endured. The ever-growing fierce choir that's risen up in the last few months has made it clear: No woman in any industry is immune from sexual harassment and abuse. The long line of #MeToo's that follow every allegation has become so ubiquitous, we're now engaged in a dangerous pattern: A woman accuses a powerful man of harassment or abuse. We feign surprise. And then we sit and wait for the chorus of "MeToo's" to say that man harmed them, too, thereby validating her story. What was unique was that I was listened to the first time. Believed the first time. And, therefore, there was no "next time" for me at this director's hands. A month after my episode of The Vampire Diaries wraps, Julie emails to invite me back for the next season. At the end she writes: "I promise never to put you in the same room with [that director] ever again." She never did. She didn't know a fraction of the abuse he handed me. She didn't know he called me a cunt on more than one occasion — or about his hand on my thigh while telling me how much better a writer I'd be if I had more "life experience." She didn't need to know it all. Because what I did say was enough. One time was enough. One story was enough. One woman is enough. [Editor's note: Finch did not lodge a formal complaint at the time of the incident. The director, whom she declined to name, did not work on The Vampire Diaries again.]
John Behring

407. MR. X 03/24
Which former tweeners turned successful adult singers hate each other so much that at that big political event tomorrow their PR people were ordered not to make them do any photo ops together? They have hated each other ever since their tweener days when they both worked for the same network. Even if they end up doing photo ops together, it will look very forced and staged. Miley Cyrus/Demi Lovato (Disney)
("March For Our Lives" in Washington, D.C.)

408. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#1**
Is Rock Hawk Jayhawk a one season wonder? Well, this former one year wonder willingly hooked up with a producer to land a reality show for herself. She didn't think her celebrity boyfriend would find out. Apparently though, she accidentally sent a selfie of herself in the hotel room where it happened and the s**t hit the fan so to speak. Now, no more relationship. Olivia Culpo (Danny Amendola)

409. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#2**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who is in a relationship and apparently has been dragged into the superhero world was shooting just a bit outside LA this week and was asking people in a strip mall where the massage place was located. The massage place being the rub and tug variety. Jude Law ("Captain Marvel")

410. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#3**
Lost is apparently the new code word for when you hand over some collateral for coke when you don't have cash. Then, you get so wasted you forget you did it and don't know how to contact the drug dealer to get your collateral back. So, sayeth this former A list reality star all of you know. Paris Hilton

411. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#4**
This former A- list tween actress turned not get much work celebrity turned B+ list adult actress turned, everyone from a certain age still remembers me as my character but I can't get work is cheating on her soon to be husband. Danielle Fishel/Jensen Karp

412. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#5**
A certain elected law enforcement officer has been in the news very recently. Several years ago, during an election, a video appeared, in which a girl claimed that she had an underage affair with this officer/candidate. It was quickly revealed that an associate of the political opponent had paid for the video and hired an actress. The officer/candidate never sued that associate. There was a real story which he didn't want to have come out. Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel (Parkland, Florida)

413. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#6**
Look for this former foreign leader to end up dead. He skimmed a lot of the money he was in charge of finding for the Church. With all his connections to the former colonies of his country, he was the point person. Now, he is going to start naming names and that won't be allowed. Notice how nothing has been written or any sign seen of that missing US government employee I wrote about last month. A flurry of stories in the press and then radio silence. Not a peep. The Church at work. Nicolas Sarkozy

414. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#7**
I really don't understand this A list reality star with a lucrative side gig. Whenever her boyfriends cheat on her, she buys THEM a present to try and get them to stay. She did it again this week. Kylie Jenner/Travis Scott

415. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#8**
With no go between now, this foreign born former A+ list boy bander is having to meet with his dealer personally. Hey, at least it gets him outdoors in the daylight. Zayn Malik

416. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/24 **#9**
There is a movie filming in New Orleans right now that no one will see. I mean, I am saying that because it looks like crap although it is about a permanent A list rock band. Anyway, one of the actresses in it that no one has heard of probably until this blind was in a show last year about porn no one watched. Well, except for one sheikh. He loved it. He saw her filming in town and had an intermediary offer her $50K for one night of sex. Now, that is more money than she has earned in the past several years combined from acting, so of course she was interested. She says she went by the house on St. Charles and then something scared her about the house and she walked away. She said it had an evil vibe. She went home and Googled the house and she found the blind about the house and this is where it gets freaky. About ten minutes after her Google search, someone from the sheikh called and said he didn't think green would be a good color for her to wear. That was the color she was wearing right then. She turned off the phone for two days and used a burner phone for filming. When she turned back on her phone, she expected to see a bunch of missed calls or texts. Nope. Her phone had been scrubbed of all conversations with the sheikh and his people. It was like it never existed. She thought she was losing her mind but remembered she sent a copy of the message containing the address she was sent to a friend. That friend still had that one message. For now. "The Dirt"

417. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#1**
You know who is good at keeping secrets? Well, actually I think we already knew this permanent A list singer is good at keeping secrets. She is so good at it though, that I don't think any of us suspected she is a closet pothead. Yep, our married singer is right up there with Snoop when it comes to her love of herb, but she has never uttered a peep or been caught, until now. Beyoncé

418. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#2**
Part of the money issue for this former C list celebrity all of you know is his drug use. He is spending a ton of money on drugs and is eating into his income to a drastic degree. Kevin Federline (Britney Spears)

419. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#3**
This foreign born permanent A list model/host did make sure to ask whether a guy was legal (he was 19) before she started hitting on him at an event last night. His girlfriend didn't really seem to appreciate the attention the model was giving him. The guy though did find the model later and give her his phone number. Heidi Klum (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")

420. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#4**
At a big event last night, this well underage A- list mostly television actress who stars on a hit almost television show was doing lines of coke with a tween singer none of you know. Where are the parents? Millie Bobby Brown ("Stranger Things") (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")

421. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#5**
This former A list tween actress who was probably A- list on television at her peak is down to B/B- list now although, if you are a certain age, you know the alliterate actress. To jump start her career, she got a breast enlargement that probably went about two sizes too big.

422. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#6**
While his A- list actress wife who is an acting family all of you know was at an event this weekend, this foreign born former A list celebrity turned stay at home husband/dad was hooking up with a nanny of a neighbor who lives in the neighbor's house. Candace Cameron Bure/Valeri Bure (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")

423. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#7**
This B list Disney actress was at an after party last night. Now, granted, she is legal, but still, it looked really creepy that she was being pawed by some guy in his 60's. She didn't look like she was enjoying it at all, but also didn't try and pull away. Peyton List (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")

424. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/25 **#8**
Something that definitely wasn't legal looking last night was this A- list Disney actress who isn't even old enough to drive. She also does some acting on an almost network. Anyway, she was sucking face with a married producer in his 40's. He also had his hand in a place that made everyone looking, really uncomfortable. Jenna Ortega ("Bunk’d" and "Jane the Virgin") (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")

425. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#1**
This A list singer usually sings in a language other than English. He went on a coke and hooker bender such as the world has never seen over the past week. He also said he wants no part of Instagram "models" because they post everything to social media, while escorts keep everything quiet. Umm, they didn't here. Just sayin'. Marc Anthony

426. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#2**
This former child actress turned tween mess turned former A list adult actress all of you know from an acting family is probably A- list at this point. She tried to kill herself about 18 months ago. Drew Barrymore

427. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#3**
She has never injected drugs before, but now this B list celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister has been introduced to it by her significant other. This won't end well. Paris Jackson (Cara Delevingne)

428. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#4**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee has been pressed repeatedly, but still won't say that she will stop working with the child molester. Cate Blanchett

429. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#5**
This foreign born B list model/actress is refusing to give a deposition against the disgraced director because several people have come forward who contradicted her earlier version of events and she is fearing she will be accused of lying if she gives her version of events. Natasha Henstridge/Brett Radner

430. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#6**
Bad move by this A- list singer who is all over the radio right now. Her celebrity husband hooked up with someone about ten days ago. This was definitely not the time to go all in showing love for him. Carrie Underwood; Kelly Clarkson

431. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#7**
This permanent A list celebrity attended the March For Our Lives rally in Washington with a half dozen armed security surrounding them and actually asked for federal protection too which was denied. Kim Kardashian and/or Kanye West

432. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#8**
This was kind of strange. This A list mostly movie actress who is getting that rating because of her past work. She never really acts now. She says that when she was starting out in the business and basically having sex for money with wealthy men who saw her in a magazine, she was taken to a party and introduced to this permanent A++ list celebrity. Apparently they enjoyed the same type party drug. Well, she was taking it to party and he was taking it to live or at least numb all his pain. To this day, his cause of death is listed as something other than what the real cause of death was. Anyway, he was fascinated by our now actress and also by the guy she was seeing from time to time who could get his hands on the drug. So, she started spending more time with our celebrity and she says he memorialized her, but when she saw it and didn't immediately say how much she loved it, he destroyed it in front of her and never did another. Apparently he was wasted when he destroyed it and she says she did love it but was shocked he did it. She also says that when the celebrity was dying, her first husband who was not quite her husband refused to meet the celebrity because he was afraid of catching something. Andy Warhol/Demi Moore/Freddy Moore (cause of death) (magazine/"Oui")

433. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/26 **#16**
Who bit Beyonce's face?


Part One: (NOTE: This is a very long blind item story, as long as the Elvis Pallbearers item. Feel free to bookmark it, save it, or read at your own pace - or skip it if you're not into TL/DR – you were warned. There's a video on Youtube you can watch after reading this, as we're sure you'll figure it out. We'll be posting links on our Twitter page later to some videos, not to reveal but just to share as a reward to those who read it all. There are two people telling the story of this night: Me, your trusty Himmmm 1 scribe here; and my cohort Himmmm #3 (or H3). He's a world-class musical talent, and one of the most underrated drummers in rock history. Best of all, he's just a regular nice guy; great family man; and a severe chainsaw samurai. The memory of this event comes from both of us, blended into one narrative for your enjoyment. As in the past - I'm sorry if it's a departure from the blinds of scandal, evil abusers, or cheating/drugs/whatever. Although it does have celebs in it, this is not some major mystery to unravel. It's just about sharing a story that is very special and crazy. Real life usually is. So, for you - our friends here at Crazy Days and Nights – we share a memory of a crazy night.) Sometimes we don't know the biggest, most epic moment of our lives until they've passed. Sure we have those big moments like the birth of a child, a wedding day, a graduation, or a big day at work. But sometimes what we think is going to be an amazing day turns out to surpass even our wildest dreams. Something so massive; so tremendously large that we can barely comprehend it 27 years later. This is the story…and I smile whenever I remember it. Thankfully due to video and audio, I'm grateful I can still relive it. This story is about one of those moments that make you glad you lived and carry it with you. It's about the glory, excess, and perfection of this (foreign rock band) at the top of their peak fame, when all the world is theirs. When all the madness, sadness, and gladness are part of life. It's not meant to be a big mystery – and you'll likely figure out the band right off the line here. But it's a moment worthy of sharing. Best of all it all really happened and I was there - with a few souvenirs too that remind me of it all. We will set the time travel DeLorean back to 1991, and the pre-internet, no mobile phone days when MTV played videos. George Bush (the first) was President; the Soviet Union had just collapsed; the cola wars were over – and the world seemed optimistic for once. People wanted to party, to enjoy freedom around the globe, and it was an amazing time for music, movies, pop culture, and hair gel. It was a sweet spot there for a few years between hair rock and grunge; between hip-hop and gangster rap; and between Debbie Gibson and Alanis Morissette. People wanted to have fun with no worries – and there was one band in particular that took them there. I first met these members of this band at a Queen concert in a foreign country when I was a kid - barely a teenager. Outside of their native land few were keyed in to this new band. I met this young band of brothers, and they went out of their way to be super nice to me. It was our closeness in age – even though they were all older than me – and a love of music that kept us together as we became friends over the years. Wasn't long after we'd met that they signed to a record label with which my family was involved. Out of the blue, the band had a pretty big hit album, and suddenly were very popular with teens/college crowds and females of every age. There was another company that my family was involved with in the early 80's and 90's, that produced music videos and movies - including producing videos for this new band. So whenever I could I would catch up with them while they were making their videos, and we'd always have a blast. Being a teenager and being friends with those guys didn't damage my dating prospects either. Somehow I felt my dates weren't just interested in only me. The band had put their soul into their new unreleased album, and I thought it was staggeringly perfect. Unfortunately, my family company and the executives didn't agree. Popular myth holds it that the record label so hated the new album, that when it was turned in for approval the manager of the band was offered $1 million for the label to trash it and go re-record a new album. The band's manager tried to get the marketing execs behind him, but in private they were nervous. The band persisted, released it anyway, and underground college radio spun it until it broke through the mainstream. That's sort of true. The reality was that after turning down the $1 million offer, the label executive left a copy of the album with his boss. Who chucked it upstairs to his boss. From there it wound up in my teenage hands. I knew it would be a hit. After hearing about the manager's battle, I got in touch with the head of college radio marketing. He was under siege by the manager too. I told him that I could get the CEO of the parent corporation to approve it if he'd agree to the manager's plan. I badgered the utter hell out of my family and everyone until they started taking a listen. I literally stood on my Dad's desk and threw a total teenage tantrum until he agreed to listen to it and my arguments for it. My brattiness paid off, and he caved in to this kid and my love for this band. The label agreed to release it, and the college radio marketing team took off with it. Seeing the sales rise, the label was very happy. When the singer's personal manager found out – she was an angel - I got the nicest call from the singer thanking me for helping. He called me "little brotha" (in reference to the brothers in the band), and told me we'd get together soon. Five million copies of that one album sold since then proved my bratty teenage tantrum was correct.

Part Two: What set the band apart was that each member was a brilliant talent – but in private life they were all just regular guys you'd have a beer with at the pub. The musical brain and major songwriter behind the band was a brilliant multi-instrumentalist who could not only play anything, he could write it. A fairly shy guy until you got him wound up, he was the DaVinci of the song. He had no limits to his talent and was the clear leader. One of the band's guitarists and a multi-instrumentalist (we will call KG) was a mad, brilliant, genius with a megawatt personality and no "Off" switch. Not blood related to the others, he was crazy mad. He could play any song or instrument, and even today stands as probably the most underrated guitarist in history. His personality was that he'd try almost anything, a dare or a prank, and you'd still be laughing if he got over on you. It was easy to play jokes on him because his eyesight sucked. In fact, it seemed everybody in that band had bad eyes. The drummer of the group and co-author of this story, H3, is like a human drum machine. He's too modest to admit it, but he's a legendary talent. When everyone from Neil Peart to Ringo Starr praise you? You've got something. He could play flawlessly for hours and never miss a beat, unless he was too drunk and fell off the stool. Only kidding, as he was the least wild drummer I've ever known and still don't think he's ever pitched a television out of a hotel window. The singer/front man whom we will call HT, was a legend for good reason. Dear God was he a legend. He was a singer, songwriter, and performer the likes of which the world has rarely seen. Maybe top five in history. His voice was powerful, flawless, and never took a day off. His stage persona was unrivaled. His human personality was magnetic, charismatic, and made you perfectly at ease. His biggest flaw was that he was blind as a damn bat. It was not a myth that every woman he met wanted to climb inside his skin and devour him, and many did. Being around him was like a good party you hope never ended. Blended with the other nutty animals in their zoo you could see why they had the world in their hands. It is really hard now for people to appreciate just how huge this band was. They were a global megastar band, and these days there is not a group that could compare. Nearly 60 million albums sold. By the time I was college-aged, I'd reconnected with these guys. I was working in the Summer of 1991 for our video/film production company. The execs running the outfit asked if I wanted to go to England to our office there to help produce this band's upcoming show. To be recorded for a special release, live, both on video and audio. Since I knew the band, I was pleased to do it. Thankfully, the actual directing and producing would have the best in the biz doing it. I just was there as a liaison and adviser. Not a bad gig for a 19 year-old kid. I spent weeks helping prep the show and get everything finalized. Especially the finance (it's an important part of the process). Funny thing is that everyone wanted this July event to occur, but nobody remembered to pay for it. No kidding. The total was $1.7 million American dollars (and thirty-five cents). In 1991 dollars. The band paid about $200,000 of the cost. The execs at the company assumed the band would pay for all of it; and the band assumed the company would pay the rest of it. The band didn't exactly have that much in their account that day. When I heard of this issue, I went to the phone and made one call. In twenty minutes I was standing in the lobby of a bank in London with a Cashier's Check for $1.7 million (and thirty five cents). To this day many in the band thought they paid for the show and production. Truth is that money came out of someone's personal funds, and not from the company accounts. But this machine would not budge without the money, and I was not about to let my pals lose their moment in the spotlight. That angel investor eventually got the money back, but it took 20 years and made no profit. It was worth every penny. This was going to be a massive shoot for a massive gig. We used 17 separate Arriflex 35mm film cameras. We even got a helicopter to fly with a special gyroscopic-balanced camera; and our crew had over 50 techs. It was going to be epic in every way, and if you were in London in Summer 1991 you knew about it. The BBC radio did an all-day tribute to the band. We had several bands booked as opening acts for a full day festival. I think tickets sold out in 15 minutes flat. The day before the show, we had sound check while stages were being finished. I had brought my guitar with me so that I could play a little with some friends after the show. I had an amazing customized black/white Fender Stratocaster. It had been ordered to be customized by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, and given to me as a birthday present. I brought it into the warm up room backstage at Wembley, to let the band's guitarist KG have a turn on it. He had a guitar very similar and was amazed at how well it played. I had his guitar tech to adjust mine to be exactly like his, as I loved the way his felt and sounded. During the sound check, I nearly panicked when I found my guitar missing. Turns out KG had used it by accident during sound check. I told him he was welcome to it anytime, and sat it back in the rack next to his to keep it safe. I knew his guitars were safer than lugging mine to the hotel and back.

SATURDAY, 13 JULY 1991 – WEMBLEY STADIUM: The day of the show, the nervousness was building. We all met in the lobby of the Carlton after lunch. The singer, HT, was there with this permanent foreign born A list model. Guitarist KG had gone ahead to the venue to see the opening bands. Everybody else in the band took a bus to the stadium, complete with police escort. When we arrived it was unlike any crowd I'd ever seen. There were over 200 people just backstage alone. We all went to grab some grub and drinks pre-show, and all these massive stars were there for the show. From (former A list singer who had several big hits in late 70's early 80's) – who was not nice; to (foreign born permanent A++ list singer), who was amazingly nice; to dozens of British stars back in the 90s. So much so, the band got uncomfortable and started to peel off to hide. Both KG and I slithered around a corner to smoke and hide. That blind fool had fallen and nearly broken his foot at the airport, (sober I might add), and had it all taped up. Within 15 minutes, HT the singer joined us laughing about ditching the gig and escaping to Piccadilly. Saying we could crash a karaoke pub instead of this gig. Thankfully, nobody escaped that night. My date for the event was a foreign born woman who was known as a two-hit wonder in the U.S., from a musical family. We will call her just MS. She and I had met back in January of that year at a party for this band in their home country. MS was widely respected and admired for her amazing vocal range, beauty, and the musicianship of her pop songs. On this day in 1991, she was 30 and I was not yet 20. Hey, don't judge. She'd been in a long term relationship that recently ended, and was dating a new guy – kinda/sorta, but wasn't serious yet. So she decided to be my date for this event, as friends. That was the plan anyway. She was a total woman. A mix of Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, and the eyes and attitude of a Joan Collins. She was all blonde hair, lips, hips, and…uhh, eyes. Yes, those two incredible, large, round…eyes. Hypnotic eyes. She was self-deprecating in a humbly-sweet way, and funny as all hell. Her words, her heart, and her sarcastic sense of humor really did it. I was honored when she accepted my invitation to accompany me that evening as a friend. Dress casual, arrive comfortable. About a year earlier she'd given a French television-shattering performance in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower behind her – in a dress that made even the French TV censors nervous. It was a very tight, very short, very low-cut-dip little black dress. I honestly think she'd been sewn into it. Wrapped around her figure it was shimmering and stunning. She had that exact same dress on tonight and – good GOD. My mouth was dry when I saw her arrive at the check-in gate. For about five minutes I think everyone forgot about the band and the show, and she was the center of attention. Just…wow. H3 says no kidding, and he still recalls that dress. When he saw her he asked me if I would play drums during the show, and we'd just trade places. But I told H3 that I don't play drums. He didn't care. Even HT wanted to bring her out for a duet but she was too nervous. I didn't know HT's new girlfriend, the supermodel, too well. She seemed very sweet and very in love. HT was a hopeless romantic who fell in love twice a day, so I'm sure he loved her too. But backstage, HT called me over to ask me a favor. He said a close friend of his was there, and would I let her watch the gig with me and my date? Apparently the two ladies knew one another and despite tabloid crap – they were friends. Sure, HT, who is she? That was when he introduced me to his lady friend, who was (foreign born A list singer who all of you know but never reached anything close to A list here) and had flown in just for this epic show. Looking at the two of them – arguably the two most beautiful ladies in London – I said "duh, of course", like I'd refuse that. So with two lovely ladies beside me, we dutifully took our place in the shadows at the side of the stage, where I could look to the sound boards and cameras if needed. I had an ear-piece to my radio to monitor the production, and I could look ahead and see the band. We stood behind the camera track rig in the shadows of stage right (or screen left/house left for the viewer/crowd). Apparently HT liked it like that – to know friends are standing close since his vision was very limited past 12 feet.

Part 4: As the dark began to settle in, the crowd was an ocean of people who had been there rocking all day. Massive. To see over 70,000 humans – do you have any IDEA how many people that is?? A fu@&%ng entire city staring back at you. Just the crowd chatter was pitching the mic levels near red. The band said it was "the biggest pub crowd we'd ever played to". H3 was going to kick off the show by himself, as their lead-in intro song was a way for the sound mixers to set the levels as each member is supposed to come on the stage and began to play one-by-one. With a high-five to me for luck, H3 crawled and shimmied up through a trap door in the back of the set up stage, to sneak into the drum riser. He snagged his clothes on the door, but luckily didn't rip anything. Like a deranged elf, he was the first soldier into battle. When I heard the video director announce in my ear-piece that it was time, I actually began to get nervous. It wasn't quite dark outside yet, but hazy enough for dusk. A summertime, damp London chill and no breeze that let the sound and smoke hang in the air. The stage lights instantly dropped and PA went quiet. H3 crawled nervously atop his stool, looking out at this sea of faces and bodies. He held up a peace sign to signal the crew. More people than he'd ever faced in his life, all he could think of was: "Don't f#@k this up…don't f#@k this up…okay, I'm a drummer, count to four - one hand – foot, hand, foot…". When the fans saw H3 behind the kit, they ERUPTED into a ROAR so loud it created a blast of noise and wind powerful enough to knock you down. Then came the announcement in my ear: "Sixty seconds to LIVE BAND". The band members began to gallop around the side of the stage set, running into battle one at a time. Then: "thirty seconds", came the announcement. The ten seconds to live rolling cameras and sound speed. As HT gave me a wink and told me to "have fun lil brotha". Before slapping up his own people and snaking his way to run out to the stage…he stole my lit cigarette and hot-boxed it to the filter in two draws. Not even old enough to buy a beer in the states, but there I was. Still a teenager and had just handed over a check of nearly two million dollars to throw this party. Probably a world record price for a concert ticket. As HT ran out to the stage, I followed and took my place in the shadows. The band was working through the intro song, H3 hammering the beat, and the crowd blasts in cheers when HT galloped onto the stage. They all were getting into the groove of the first tune, like a good warm up. H3 beat those drums like they owed him money. I stood there in the wings, a proud friend on the side of that stage with two stunning blondes on either side of me. As soon as the opening song came to an end, there was applause and cheers. I braced myself for what was about to happen, warning my dates to hang on tight – it's gonna get loud. (When you watch the video this is the 4 minute and 07 seconds mark). That's the moment H3 dropped the hammer, and kicked off that drum for the first major song. It hit like a thunderbolt… And oh, baby…did it ever hit. That first note was like launching a nuclear explosion atop fifty tons of dynamite. The roar and vibration of the packed stadium sent a vibration through your entire body. Literally. Your muscles vibrated, and the metal around you danced like an earthquake. Your chest felt the concussion of the screaming roar. The band didn't start playing – they EXPLODED into a blast of music, lights, and gymnastics that blew the crowd backwards. Think I'm exaggerating? Hardly. I'm underplaying it. H3 beat those skins to death and blew hell off hinges as the entire crowd jumped. In unison. Up. And. Down. It shook the entire stadium, and parts of the edifice were actually falling down like snowflakes. The light towers in the crowd would've collapsed had they not been rigged right. The damn camera cranes even shook. Seventy-plus-thousand people all bobbing, jumping, and singing - hands over their heads to this one amazing song's beat. It sent shocks of electricity through the air, into your body, and through your soul like a fever seizure of religious ecstasy. The jumping and dancing of that crowd was a mass orgasm of 75,000 humans all in unison. Nobody could sit still, and the band couldn't stop smiling. It was the definition of epic. If you watch the video on YouTube, watch this second song (or the first BIG song of the show). I was there and could hardly believe it. Raw, pure, power. Now my two lady friends were sandwiching me, grinding and jumping. On me. I totally ignored any duties I had that night. It was okay, because the Producer and Director were the best. I got to stand side-stage looking at my friends as two pop idols danced around me and the population of Wembley stadium went wild. When KG the guitarist pivoted in my direction though, I noticed something amiss. The guitar tech had grabbed MY guitar out of the rack on accident! Hell! It was my guitar KG was now playing onstage, and not his. I deftly jostled over to his guitar tech to warn them. All I got was a grin in return. So I just darted back to my spot and shook my head in awe at his band, with a flawless guitarist not even playing his regular ax, rocking it out. What proceeded was one of the most powerful performances ever given. Certainly in my estimate, but also by those who just watch the video without having lived it. Live. The band never ran out of steam or had a bum song. No weak links. And when my guitarist friend switched guitars and horns, he shot me a thumbs up and a grin – I shot him the bird. He laughed. He used my Fender for most of the rest of the show. I was honored and proud to know that it was a part of this event, and knew – even then – that it would be historic.

Part Five: During a break in the gig, I stepped over when the singer came off stage. "What's up with you and (KG) and that damn guitar?" he asked. I told him, and he doubled-over laughing. He again stole my lit cigarette and hot-boxed it to the filter in two draws. He said "I want to play it, not fair!". Dripping in sweat, he blasted back on stage wide open. The peak of the entire show that night came for me right then when they lit into a searing song that was my favorite. HT said onstage, "This is a story…about..." then a harmonica played. And the crowd went insane. This song set my two dates exploding into orbit screaming and gyrating. Legend had it that HT's ex-girlfriend – the same friend now grinding on me – was the inspiration of the song. I just stood there grinning, trying to maintain composure. For the rest of that song, those women used me as a jungle gym playground, dancing and having a blast torturing me in their tight outfits. In the film, every time the band looks to their right offstage – it is them looking at us. Thankfully we were out of camera sight-lines and no film was being shot on side stage. Tough job, but I had to do it. After TWO SOLID HOURS straight of that energy and power, they bang out a nonstop killer finale. After that encore, right about then the ladies scamper off behind the stairs to go backstage, and I'm watching these loonies come offstage. Without any warning – the singer walks over to KG's upright guitar stand, and pulls my Strat out of the rack. Puts it on. In front of an army of screaming fans, the lights now up and music over. He starts to strum it. Everybody backstage puzzled at this. The band mates are laughing at him. I'm praying he doesn't do a Pete Townshend and shatter it. Instead, he strums it a few times, walks to an amp and does a feedback pull with it, like Hendrix. After he gets his feedback, he takes it off again. As he walks offstage he shoots a look and gesture to the crowd, then walks over and hands it off to the guitar tech. When HT makes it in back behind the huge set, he says to me: "I told 'ya I'd play it!" he laughed. And so he had. We all start to make our plans for the obligatory after-party, and the band members sign autographs and chug refreshments. H3 is exhausted but gets his mischievous second wind and says we need to ditch the formal party and go pub jumping. He and HT had done this before, in Rio, and ditched their security chief/bodyguard. They'd been missing 48 hours while partying like crazed men. He was tough to ditch because he was still a cop back in their home country and a very sharp man. My companion MS and I jumped in our car and headed back to the hotel. I filled her in on H3's plan as we continued drinking our liquid bravery.

Part Six: Back at the hotel was a madhouse. I bribed our driver to help us escape and keep the motor running. Getting out of the car, I grabbed to move my guitar case the same moment MS decided to exit the car. She began to tumble – in that beautiful dress – and I caught her mid-fall. Unfortunately, her dress caught on the door and…rippppp! The cleavage seam on her dress split about 6 inches lower, and it really didn't need to do that. Gracefully composed, she pinched the top closed, laughing as I apologized. All she needed was a safety pin, which we found thanks to the concierge. The bellman grabbed my bags from my room, and shuffled them all out to the car. MS was looking fit as ever, and we met with H3 in the lobby. The bodyguard was already in a panic due to the bass player's pregnant wife nearly giving birth during the show. A simple request distracted him enough for us to ditch the party, with a bottle or two smuggled out. Running into the singer HT – he begged to join us. No problem. He and his girlfriend would be a blast. Before we could leave, his manager cornered him and reminded him of the glad-hands and media he was obligated to meet and greet. I saw then what it meant to be trapped by your fame. A sad moment where the look on his face was like a kid who had to stay in detention while the others went to recess to play. He shrugged, and I told him the pub name if he could escape. He looked so lonely in a room full of adoring people – and winked: 'You two don't behave, have one for me". In the car MS and I sat, talking and drinking waiting on H3 who finally made it out a side door. Like a bank heist getaway he jumped in, and the driver sped off to the pub we'd wanted to visit. Poor H3 was exhausted but got his second wind. MS was becoming a very funny drunk with a sense of humor to rival a sailor. Arriving to a pub that looked more like a dive bar than disco, we told the driver we'd be about 10 minutes. The second MS came through that door to the pub, every head turned. Not at the drummer who just played for an army of them, but at the gorgeous blonde in that black dress. I wondered how long until they recognized who she was. I was invisible, happily so. After finally finding our table and drinking ourselves to comfort, we plotted our night's course. People whispered and feeling our cover blown, we decided to finish our drinks and go before the tabloids showed. By then more than one man had made comments, gestures, and sneers at us. A large chap who looked like a poster-child for football hooligans staggered over towards us, asking if we're television stars. We laughed and apologized that "Sorry, just regular folks". To which he replied that he didn't care for us hogging all the bartender service. I also noticed his 20 rough pals in the corner arguing with themselves. This drunken jerk kept saying nasty things, and as we're wanting to avoid a fight I said we should leave. I didn't want to brawl with a gang of guys who looked like a brown shart stain on the fresh tighty-whiteys of humanity. This drunk leaned over our table, resting his large weight on an empty chair, leering at MS. He made a very crude remark involving a word than began with "C". The drunk then reached his arm out towards MS and to grab at her cleavage. Then H3 swiftly KICKS the chair legs out with his foot, and the drunk goes – …SLAP his face hard on the table, then crashing down to the floor in a heap at MS's feet. Out cold. Never test the leg reflexes of a drummer or a football mid-fielder. Everyone sat there, mouths open, staring at the out-cold drunk. Now sleeping peacefully on the barroom floor, a broken tooth just beside his mouth. Maybe the tooth fairy would visit him now. MS looked in horror and H3 says: "Time to go". Uh, yep. As we pass the bar, I gave the bartender a big bill to cover the tab, damages, and tip. Which was the moment the drunk's pals started to realize his condition and yelling at us. We began to run out the door, with MS taking half-steps in that tight dress. Outside the door I see our driver and I shout: "We gotta go!" and he jumps in the car. I hear grumbling behind us, and I grab MS' hand as she begins to run. I hear another RIPPPPP of fabric, and hear her say: "Aww, F#@K IT!" as she hikes up her skirt and goes full sprint, ass-in-the-breeze, across the street. H3 passes us both and dives for the car doors. We all three jump in the back like fools, landing on each other as we make a getaway laughing. I look back to see about 15 people all flying out of the bar towards us, and would've likely caught us in ten seconds. I look over at MS who is laughing hysterically, and H3 worried the drunk may have been dead. I assured him it wasn't that hard a fall – just resting nicely. Or pining for the fjords. We decide – in my drunken logic – to head to a residential area where I had a friend who would love to meet H3 and always is partying. Being drunk and in a foreign place, I wasn't sure about the exact location and our driver tried his best. Somehow we wound up in what looked like a row under construction near the Belgravia section of town. "Where the hell ARE we??", MS asked as we served as our own bartenders. Both H3 and I shrugged, and the driver wisely decided to pull over as we figured it out. MS said she really "needed the loo" so I got out to look around for someplace she could go. The driver studied his map, and H3 reminded us that the bodyguard – when he and HT ran away in Rio – called the cops to find them. We hoped that wouldn't happen, nor a run in with tabloids, but kept a lookout just in case.

Part Seven: About then MS jumps out of the car. She says she's got a cramp and laughs while hopping around on one foot. It was then that everything froze silent. Standing by the car, she noticed we were all looking at her with a dazed look in our eyes. She turned to me and said, "What? What is it? Is my makeup smeared?". Uh…no. In a slow, zombie-like manner, I just nodded my head side to side. My mouth open. She looked down, catching her reflection in the car's window. That's when she noticed it too – that around the cleavage of her dress was a rip that ran about six inches straight down her stomach, to the top of her undies. How did she not feel the draft? Needless to say, she was very, very, VERY exposed. But being herself, with that natural charisma – she adjusted herself and began laughing. "Oh, well. So much for THAT I guess." Right in front of all of us, time seemed to stand still. I stood there holding the door open, and she reached in and grabbed my small backpack. She said she'd had it, been tired of fighting to try and stay proper in this Marilyn Monroe-looking dress. Would I please unzip her in the back? "Uhhh…WHAT?", I said. Yep. Unzip it please, she was peeling off. And at her drunken request, I did just that. And she did just that. And then I…oh, my. My goodness. Okay, stay calm. No big deal. I was more concerned with someone seeing this, or thinking it was something besides what it was. I started looking around for paparazzi or Japanese tourists with Nikons. Thank heavens smart phones didn't exist back then or it would be front page on TMZ. My God in heaven she really was beautiful. Like a statue of Venus or something. Very blonde, and very tan. She reached over for my bag and pulled out a concert t-shirt I'd snagged to take back for my sister. This gorgeous naked woman shimmied, arms up, and put it on. Thank goodness it was a large because it barely covered her…uh…her shoulders. She grabbed a new pair of boxers from my bag, and my oversize button-down shirt and leather jacket. Then voila! After she nicked a pair of sandals, she looked like a fashionable surfer girl refugee from a punk camping trip. Very chic, even if it looked like she had no pants on. A very crafty and adaptable woman. She handed me the dress, and told me to keep it (!) as a souvenir. Adding, "and you can tell all your mates that after you ripped off my dress and ravaged me I was so enthralled I gave you the dress to remember me by!". She erupted laughing. H3 and I looked at each other, eyes wide. A fluff of the hair, an adjustment here and there – and we were ready to roll again, off to the next stop. "Okay boys, you already got me out of my clothes – so what's next?". I was about to slur an answer when we saw a very nice car pass very slowly by us. Our driver says: "Oh hell! That's a government car!". Confused, we asked him what he meant. He said that's like an unmarked police car back in the states. A government car for cops and important people. We thought the bodyguard back at the hotel got pissed and called out MI-5 for us. Not good. Images of James Bond or Sherlock Holmes out hunting for an abducted drunken rock drummer. We all hustled into our backseat, and watched the car slow to a crawl – then stop ahead of us.

Part Eight: Damn. Then, the rear door of that car opened and we all clearly saw who it was getting out, alone. Our driver had been correct – it was government, maybe even MI5 alright, but not for us. It was for (foreign born permanent A+++ list celebrity), who we call L.D. - who was exiting that car, alone. She looked nervously around, making eye contact with us in our car, and tripped slightly on the curb. As she recovered herself, she raced up the steps to a townhouse-looking place that had all the lights off. At 3am. By herself. None of us uttered a peep or even a breath. I'd seen something when the lady stumbled, a little glint of light, but in my drunken mind knew I saw something fall. I slowly exited our car, as my mates told me to get back in. I walked over to the sidewalk, looking down…looking…and saw it. Yep, it was an earring. L.D., in her hurry, had lost it when she stumbled. Now H3 was out of the car, and I showed him too. I was bent down, picking it up when a man opens the rear car door and exits from where she'd been. He gets out and tells us to piss off. Very military in his demeanor, but obviously surprised. He had no clue who we were, nor did we of him. At that time anyway. I told him that his friend had dropped – "I told you to piss off! Go! Now!", he barked. So I pocketed the fallen pearl earring, and thought about offering it to the man. But how do you do so to a guy so rude? H3 tugged my arm, and we went back to the car. The entire time being stared down by that driver, that military-looking red-haired man, whom I'd only see again in tabloids years later. Back in our car, we all kind of sat there quietly, as our driver eased onto the street. I looked at H3, and MS looked at me. "What? Was that who I think - " she asked. H3 and I both realized we'd seen something we likely should not have, even though we could not say for certain what was going on. We just both knew – even drunk – that it wasn't something we wanted to discuss ever. But there was no question who the lady was, which likely meant either press or cops would be in the area (if not already hiding somewhere). We didn't need a scandal or drama. I told our driver to go – forget about the side trips. MS said, "And I'm all dressed up for nothing?" and laughed. We all made a pledge then and there not to repeat anything we'd seen – or anything we'd thought we'd seen. We all held to that promise until a tragic accident many years later nullified our pact for us. We took H3 back to the hotel, and as it was past 4am, figured it was all quiet. Nope, nada. I let him out and thanked my pal for a great time. He says he went in and went to sleep, but I have my doubts. MS had decided to ride with me to the airport in the car. Our company's private jet was there, waiting for me to depart. Actually it was waiting to fly all the film canisters and recordings back to the US, but was nice enough to wait on me. The entire ride out to the airport, MS and I became very close friends. The seat divider raised all the way up. She was and is still truly a remarkable woman. I didn't want to leave, and in my then-nineteen year-old brain felt love and passion unlike any I'd known before. It was very passionate, and probably as ecstatic as could be without total abandonment into full consummation. She didn't have to fear a walk of shame, and even intoxicated we both knew it was real. Still I tried everything to talk her into flying to the states with me, and she tried to talk me into staying there. Literally driving onto the runway at the general aviation terminal, the jet was ready to take off. Almost like a scene out of one of those old movies where the couple kisses before one boards the train for war – she and I shared a lovely, tender kiss right there on the runway. Jet engines whirring, breeze blowing around us, as the summer sun began to peep over the horizon. The co-pilot yelled from the top of the steps, and broke us up. I thanked MS for everything, and sorry if her good time was ruined. "You're joking, right?", she said. "It was a MAGICAL night. One of my bests…ever." Glad I wasn't the only one to feel that way. I loaded my guitar case and bags, and waved goodbye as our driver returned Cinderella back home by sunrise. As we departed and made it airborne, I realized I'd lost the t-shirt I'd grabbed for my sister's gift. Then realized that MS was still wearing it. I couldn't stop smiling. As there, in my hands, was that amazing dress of hers – ripped and all. I had to laugh, and fell into a deep, deep sleep. Over the next few years I got busier, and that band had ups and downs. Especially the singer HT. Personal issues and problems had me worried about my friend. It wasn't til several years later that I got word from him that he would be in Los Angeles and wanted to catch up. Of course I would. He came in time for my birthday, and we went out to dinner to celebrate. He told me he wanted to try more acting, and if I could help him in that area of the biz. Sure I could, and would. We wound up talking all night outside at my house on the balcony. A few bottles of wine later, like vampires fleeing the sun, we decided to reconvene around the holidays. He was proud to be a new father, and wanted to get on with the next phase of his life. He knew I'd be there when he returned. When we parted that early morning, before he got in the car to leave, he said to me: "I think I'm going to like growing old if I can do it in style. Never wanted to get old. Maybe this is where I need to do it – seems to work for you". I told him he was a long way from old, and this was his home if he wished. He called me "little brotha" and gave a hug. It would be the last time I ever saw him. A month later, they found his body in his room. All kinds of horrible conspiracies, gossip, and garbage about his death. I know it was suicide, because nobody could kill my friend but himself. Nobody could take his force of life from him, but him. It hurt and stung badly, especially knowing we were going to soon be closer than before. It wasn't to be, and like so many friends after him I replay his memories and crush myself wondering if I could've only reached out...if I'd only known. Why didn't he call me? But it's all for naught. He left a young child that he was proud of and loved dearly; a band that misses him still; and a stunned world who will forever recall his bright light. I still look at that final parting shot of the video that night from the concert. It is a haunting look from the singer, almost prophetic as he holds my guitar in a frozen frame. I think he would've liked it. Even in death my friend is magnetic. Very recently, the guitarist KG decided to auction off some of his guitars for charity. It went very well, but there was one guitar noticeably absent from the offerings. Probably because it is sitting – as I type this – in my living room right now. And to this day? No one has played it, or even changed the strings since that night HT strummed and banged it live at the close of that show. A moment captured for eternity. Draped along the side curve of the guitar, is a swath of glittering black cloth that used to be a dress. What's left of it, anyway. The last time it covered a human body was MS, that night, when she changed outside the pub. Atop that black shining dress is a small, clear box with a single pearl earring inside. The one dropped by that now-gone lady in her hurry into a friend's home that night, driven there by her ginger-haired military lover on a secret leave. It too has never been in another ear or worn by anyone else. Together they all make a little shrine, dedicated to this night. A night that can never be repeated for all of eternal history. Even that original stadium has been torn down and never will be played again by anyone. Some epic nights remain those brief beautiful moments. I'm so happy to see that MS recently announced a kicking new pop album, and an upcoming tour. Still an amazing woman, beautiful, and a rocking pop genius. She's now married happily with a family and works her garden when not spotting aliens. Part of me will carry our moment together too, forever – in my heart. She's worthy of the best and I'm honored to have been worthy of her best, even for that moment that crazy night. I look back on those days and hear the laughter, see the extravaganza, and feel the electricity from those moments that make life worth living. To have lived through a moment where the peak of perfection is captured live for all future generations to witness. A moment of fun, power, and excitement. I was honored to be a friend of those guys, and treasure it among my best moments. Yes, I smile at it when I think of my departed friend, and that moment…that goes on forever. That one mad, sad moment that was part of our friendship. As is my ongoing friendship with H3 and the connection we still share. So that's the story. With so many friends dying of causes, natural or unnatural – I have found that life is never as certain as it should be. It takes work and fortitude to live and keep going, no matter our hurts and struggles. Sometimes we have to just make ourselves keep going to see the sun rise one more day. No matter the pains, conditions, tragedies, and losses we all suffer as humans; we can still look back at time when all was right with our worlds. When that light shined, and we remember our reasons for living. In the faces of our children or even in the memory of a magical moment 27 years ago. We must all choose not to fade away, and not to burn out. Find the strength in those memories that live forever. As our friend said, there's nothing better we can do, than live forever. We must choose to live. Just live, baby…live.

Band: INXS (Live at Wembley Stadium)
H3: Jon Farriss
Musical brain and major songwriter: Andrew Farriss
KG/band's guitarists and a multi-instrumentalist: Tim Farriss
HT/singer/front man: Michael Hutchence
Permanent foreign born A list model: Helena Christensen
Former A list singer who had several big hits in late 70's early 80's: Blondie
Foreign born permanent A++ list singer: David Bowie
MS (foreign born woman who was known as a two-hit wonder in the U.S., from a musical family): Kim Wilde
Foreign born A list singer who all of you know but never reached anything close to A list here: Kylie Minogue

LD: Diana, Princess of Wales
Military-looking red-haired man: James Hewitt

442. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#1**
This foreign born Heidi Klum wannabe thinks she is pulling a fast one by charging her soon to be husband $100K a month. Little does she know that he is hooking up with multiple other people and that he is willing to abandon the wedding plans if our wannabe keeps demanding more and more. Shanina Shaik/DJ Ruckus

443. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#2**
Everyone keeps asking when this foreign born permanent A list solo and in a group singer is going to start seeing an improvement in his health. Probably not ever unless he kicks that drug habit. His significant other is not helping because she never tries to intervene. Phil Collins/Orianne Cevey

444. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#3**
The best bet for the biter of Beyonce is this A+ list mostly movie actress. The thing is though that actress would probably tell you she did it out of love, but she has a lot of anger inside her, so I would hesitate to believe the love part of it.

445. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#4**
This one named rapper who is getting a divorce also supports several white nationalist movements. It is where he met the woman he cheated on his wife with and got pregnant. Logic

446. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#5**
This former child actor who also had other talents in the entertainment world all of you know at least by his nickname is self medicating. He is also lashing out at the man all of you know who raped him multiple times when he was a tween. Shad "Bow Wow" Moss/Jermaine Dupri

447. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#6**
This former child actress turned tween actress turned adult celebrity is probably A-/B+ list and you all know her name. She is having trouble getting work since she was fired because of her drug use. Interesting thing about her is that she has a recording she loves showing to people of this former A list Disney actress who can't seem to make it as an adult, begging for coke and willing to do anything or anyone for the coke. Mischa Barton

448. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#7**
You know that married one name actress that seems to always be making headlines? Well, it turns out you might see her husband making headlines if he keeps hooking up with these male escorts he is handing cash over to hand over fist. Mo'Nique/Sidney Hicks

449. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#8**
This recently deceased, behind the scenes power managed the careers of many. His client list included many of the biggest A-list stars of that era. The immense power he wielded during his life was only eclipsed by his number of vile actions. For starters, if you were male, and a barely legal office assistant, mailroom boy, or otherwise worked for this mogul – you were expected to cater to his sexual needs. The fact that the mogul was 3 times your age, or that your sexual preference might be women, didn’t matter to the mogul. The mogul also liked underage teens. For that he would be more discreet. He would pay people who could bring them to a setup he had in another state, outside the glare of Hollywood. If one of his clients got in trouble, or needed help, our mogul did whatever was necessary. I mean whatever was necessary. He would either make your problems disappear voluntarily, or involuntarily. One of his biggest money-making clients liked his boys much younger than our mogul. Many times over the years, our mogul had no moral problem with helping that client to get out of trouble, or cover up his crimes. This happened on a few occasions. Sandy Gallin

450. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#9**
The recent suicide of this K Pop star was because he was about to be outed in a secret recording. He didn't have any money to pay the blackmailer. Min-woo Seo

451. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#10**
Speaking of being outed, this former tween singer turned adult mess is hiding the fact that he is selling himself to older men again. Aaron Carter

452. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#11**
To make things try and look better, this permanent A+ list couple have removed thousands of seats from the inventory of their upcoming shows. Look for groupons coming soon. Jay Z/Beyoncé; Faith Hill/Tim McGraw

453. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#12**
If it hadn't been for a reporter calling out a venue, this former A- list mostly television actor/accused rapist would have been earning some bucks there. The venue tried to sneak it past everyone. Danny Masterson/"Satellite" in Silver Lake (Yashar Ali twitter)

454. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#13**
Her Words: Last night, after the news broke about a certain producer, an actress ALL of you know who knows the producer as well as anyone sent me this.

(thank you for all of your ongoing support. i Don’t know how Any of these meN sleep at night, but if there’s one thing that i Do know Is that what’s Done In the dark, always comes to lighT! xoxo

Sorry, I thought it was clever :D unfortch I will obviously not be making any comment whatsoever (for obvious reasons) and unfortch I feel as though the only way that legitimate stories can make the headlines regarding ____ is if others publicly speak on his behavior. _____ was truly like a 2nd father to me. But things changed. After the 2nd incident, i don’t know if I will ever be able to have children or have the family of my dreams.

People have been picking this scab for years. I just won’t be the one who finally rips it off.)
Amanda Bynes (Nickelodeon firing Dan Schneider)

455. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#14**
Apparently while this B list mostly television actress from a very hit almost television show was passed out from partying, her foreign born boyfriend cheated on her and this is why they split. So, not that he makes her party nearly killing her, it was the cheating that finally got her to leave. Well, now hopefully she can start to get healthy. Natalia Dyer (Charlie Heaton)

456. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#15**
Apparently a DNA test might be in order for this A- list mostly television actress who back in the day had a franchise. There was a "break" that happened just about the same time she got pregnant. Jessica Alba (Cash Warren) ("Fantastic Four")

457. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/27 **#16**
Dancing Boy Update: Here's another update about the forthcoming Dancing Boy short - this one concerns an actor you all know. As I think I said, the story is told in flashback. It begins though in the present day. After a brief monologue about the public, private, and secret life of Hollywood (this is a story of the latter), we cut to the Chateau Marmont, where the adult dancing boy (likely now played by me) arrives with his boyfriend. They're there to stage a bed-in, thronged by media, to get the former released from his NDA with the studio (so he can tell his story). This update involves the actor we're talking with about playing the boyfriend. As it happens, his breakout role back in the day was (as with the first update) in a family friendly comedy movie from the same decade, although later. The person with top billing in this movie actually became famous for another movie/franchise a few years earlier, and went on a few years later to be the nominee/winner of an award. The clue for the actor in question (to be the boyfriend, I mean) concerns an audition - probably the most important of his then young career. In it he performs a song by a now permanent A list band which at the time was controversial for some people in a certain part of the country (who felt it offended their beliefs). That was ironic because the title was really just an expression/saying from that part of the country. There's a video of the actor singing this song, and talking about the audition. When you figure it out it will all make sense about why him for this part/scene. I don't know if he (as in another person referenced in a blind item a few months ago, and in some way connected with the content of this update) will go through with it, but if we are joined midway through the scene in question by him, it could suggest that a longstanding rumor is true.

Actor: Anthony Rapp
Movie: "Adventures in Babysitting"
Actress: Elisabeth Shue (Nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role "Leaving Las Vegas")
Song: "Losing My Religion" (for "Rent" audition)
A list band: R.E.M./Michael Stipe
Ironic from that part of the country: Appalachia

458. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#1**
Desperate for more funds, this former child/teen actor who was mostly in movies is resorting to cheap publicity stunts to try and raise more money from what he hopes is a gullible public. Those vacations aren't going to pay for themselves. Corey Feldman (stabbed with a syringe)

459. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#2**
This one named singer and her rapper boyfriend got into an argument with another couple because they thought the other couple stole their coke. The other couple insisted they didn't even use coke and the singer and rapper became more aggressive to the point it was getting scary before the one named singer finally found the coke in the bottom of her beach bag. No apology though. Halsey/Easy G

460. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#3**
This married former naked celebrity turned reality star turned porn star turned reality star is getting really serious with a whale from Vegas she met while being his casino companion. Apparently she has moved into a place out there he owns even though he is rarely there. Kendra Wilkinson

461. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#4**
This A- list director/producer spent a great deal of money that was not his on drugs and women. He is scrambling to come up with what he took. Morgan Spurlock

462. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#5**
This "fashion" rapper couldn't stand to attention with a woman if he tried so his wife got pregnant through artificial means. Gucci Mane/Keyshia Ka’Oir

463. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#6**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor who was a recent Academy Award winner/nominee is stepping into a very recent controversy by telling this A list couple they need to clear his "second wife" or he will make life difficult for the A list couple. He is one of the very few who could do that. Denzel Washington/Sanaa Lathan (Jay Z/Beyoncé - Sanaa accused of biting Beyoncé’s face)

464. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#7**
This current MTV star is being paid by his ex to keep his mouth shut about the paternity of a child. The ex has not told her current significant other she is doing this.

465. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#8**
Want to have sex with a female teen who is barely a teen? Want her to be experienced? Want to make sure you are not arrested? Is it no wonder this former A list singer stays in demand and is not blacklisted for his past? It is because he provides a service to other singers/rappers/celebrities and politicians. They come to wherever he is living and get to spend an hour or a night with one of the string of teens he has groomed. He still sings and still gets really good songs because of this side gig. He also knows he won't get arrested because of the people taking advantage of his services and also he knows that if he sticks to teens of color, the police and parents tend to turn the other way. Currently he only has six teens, but he is looking to expand, but needs a bigger place and also needs to remain in the same city because it is where his customers have the most influence. Yes, that was the CEO of a top 50 company out with one of the singer's groomed teens. Why yes, that was this old, permanent A list mostly movie actor out with one of them too. R. Kelly (Chicago, Illinois)

466. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#9**
This foreign born A+ list mostly movie actor has a franchise. He has the power to do something about the increased visibility of this sexual assaulter/woman beater who is a B+ list actor. Instead, the foreign born actor is fully on board with a new promotional push featuring the sexual assaulter. Ryan Reynolds/T. J. Miller ("Deadpool 2")

467. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#10**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actor is an Academy Award winner/nominee. Apparently he hired an escort two nights ago. She says she walked out though because he hadn't showered in what looked like a week. He was drunk and said she needed to drop a couple pounds. Umm, he could stand to drop about 100 pounds. Anyway, when she made a move to leave, he grabbed her by the arm and started calling her a c**t and a wh**e. He is vile. Russell Crowe

468. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#11**
This permanent A list country singer is cheating on his wife with a woman who works at his record label. Garth Brooks ("Pearl Records"); Toby Keith ("Show Dog-Universal Music"); Clint Black ("Equity Music Group")

469. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#12**
There was an "athlete" who was recently arrested for trying to have sex with a child. Well, he started naming some names to try and cut a deal. One of the names he named is A+ list in that same sport. Rick Crawford (former NASCAR Camping World Truck Series driver)

470. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#13**
This mini me Ryan Seacrest wannabe is married and this A-/B+ list mostly movie actress called him out on it when he tried to hit on the actress who has actually kept herself sober the past few weeks while promoting her new movie. Mario Lopez/Bella Thorne ("Extra")

471. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#14**
This still A list singer who deserves to be out of work because of what he did in the past and continues to do offered his ex $100K if she would just come to his house for a few hours. Now, his ex has been known to yacht a time or six, but she said no. She said she feared he wouldn't let her leave and if she tried, he might kill her. Chris Brown/Karrueche Tran

472. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#15**
Apparently this A list singer got lectured on her coke use by this permanent A list singer who is working with her. The permanent A lister would know a thing or two about the subject from his experiences back in the day. Lionel Richie/Katy Perry ("American Idol")

473. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/28 **#16**
A Reader's Blind Item: Although I have lived a rather sedate and quiet life, my acquaintances are always asking me to tell stories about the numerous celeb encounters that I have experienced. Here are some of those, written in CDAN, HIMMM style: Back in the day, I lived in Africa and my parents sent me to a posh boarding school. Because I had an American passport, I was excused from taking Afrikaans classes—which were mandatory for citizens. The only other person in my grade with this exemption was someone I will refer to as GS, who was born in America too. While everybody else suffered taking a language none of them wanted to learn, we wiled away our time in the school library, reading newspapers and chatting. GS, who had a Quaker background, was for some reason exempt from all the mandatory sports and activities the rest of us were subjected to, and went home earlier than practically everyone else since he lived nearby. After a while he and some fellow students cleaned out an unused storage area, got a key, and put their instruments in it, where they practiced during lunch. Later on, GS moved to the States to avoid the draft and became a permanent A-List, pot-loving rocker. When he made it big in the mid-1990s I didn’t even recognize him. A couple of years prior to GS making it big, I will still in Africa doing work deep in the Kalahari desert. One very hot summer day, as noon approached, I was dying for a cold drink—truly a luxury out there in the middle of nowhere where there was no electricity. Pulling my 4 Wheel Drive into a village, I turned the engine off to hear if there was a generator somewhere nearby—the tell-tale sign of a bar. Sure enough, I heard it buzzing in the distance and made my way over. My assistant and I then parked outside the bar, and then went in. The only other patron I instantly recognized—an A List mostly movie actor, who I will call "IC" who had fairly recent brought back an iconic superhero to the big screen. Taken aback by his presence at this spot, I exclaimed, "what the hell are you doing out here?" IC, who was nursing a luke-cold brewski while looking chic in some expensive designer sportswear and athletic sandals, told me that he had recently sponsored some biologists who had made a major discovery—one of the biggest caves ever found containing this animal related to his superhero character. Taking a break from the rigors of Hollywood, he had come out to Africa and spent a week camping out in this secret cave in the middle of nowhere. Fast forward another decade or so, and my life took me back to America, where I took up residence in the southern Hollywood, Atlanta. My employers, a well-known chain store, deployed me into the ritziest Black neighbourhood of town, just north of the airport, where the typical residence ran at 1 million and up. Over the course of time I would encounter practically the entire athletic, political, and entertainment leadership of Atlanta, up very close indeed. Probably the craziest of all the encounters I had was with this crucifix-wearing A List rapper AM, who has since evolved into a multi-threat celebrity. AM had recently had a baby with his C-list Baby Mama, necessitating an endless set of runs to our store to pick up prescriptions for the two. Being a celeb, AM preferred the drive thru, but on one windy day his $20 bill was blown out of his hand before he could get it into the drive thru tray, and it vanished in the breeze out into a nearby field, apparently never to be seen again. AM was outraged, insisting that the loss of money was our fault since he had tried to pay. After I spoke to him in the drive thru through a microphone, he remained incensed when I told him he had to pay for his prescriptions. He then sped into the parking lot, and then entered the store with two members of his posse, whereupon they tracked me down, forced me into a corner, and tried to intimidate me into giving up the prescriptions without further payment. A similarly frightening encounter that I had was with another paranoid A-list rapper, GB. GB would also come to our pharmacy drive thru regularly, and hand in a shopping list which he would demand to have filled and scanned while he waited outside in his car awaiting a call on his cell to come and pay. Inevitably I would be called in, and would refuse to perform this, although once or twice I obliged when he only wanted some milk. One time, when GB was in a particularly bad mood, he picked up a big Magnum-style revolver and waved it around while he yelled at me through the intercom. Most of the time, he would give up and walk in the store, whereupon nobody even gave him a second glance even though he feared being hassled by customers. Of all the multitudes of star power that I witnessed, only one celeb ever brought the customers and business to a complete stand still. This petite mega hot foreign-born B-List model/mostly movie actress had the figure of the animated Jessica Rabbit from the Who Framed Roger Rabbit franchise, with huge boobs and ass along with a tiny waist. On the day she arrived with several of her booty-shaking colleagues to pick up some supplies, all were wearing rather tight-fitting clothing. Nothing happened until they all checked out.

Musician GS: Dave Matthews
Actor IC: Val Kilmer ("Batman Forever"/1995)
Rapper AM: Ludacris
Rapper GB: CeeLo Green ("Gnarls Barkley")
Model/actress: Melyssa Ford

474. POPBITCH 03/29
(British blog)
Which 90s actress has been left with such taut skin after her most recent facelift that she’s finding it hard to totally shut her eyes? An eye-mask takes care of the problem at night, and she’s found that sunglasses during the day are a big help. But while her surgeon has told her the skin will relax a little soon, some of her friends are warning her not to get any moore. Demi Moore

1. Which society lady was pulled over by the cops when driving, and the officers were shocked to see she is classed as "male" on her driver’s license. It is not clear if it was a mistake or a revelation? Jocelyn Wildenstein
2. Which top publishing exec was drunkenly taking selfies with everyone in sight at SXSW?

3. Which TV star is so out of control she fired her longtime publicist, then had to eat humble pie a week later while hiring the publicist back?
4. Which publicist is so nasty that filmmakers are choosing not to cast his talent to avoid dealing with him? Simon Halls (Matt Bomer’s husband)
5. Which 40-something journalist just got her AARP card after putting the wrong age on a private page of her Facebook profile?

476. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#1**
This foreign born A-/B+ list mostly movie actor was probably A list when his long running franchise was still rolling. Since then, there has not been a lot of success. It also looks like he is back on the bottle in a big way and showed up to support a friend at a premiere while on a crazy multi day bender. Daniel Radcliffe ("Harry Potter")/Billy Crudup

477. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#2**
It looks like the ex of this former A list singer was right to stay far away from him. The singer, who is mixing drugs and booze would have probably killed a woman this week if her friends had not been there to intervene. Karrueche Tran/Chris Brown

478. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#3**
Usually our A+ list mostly movie actor collects a fee from modeling agencies trying to boost the fees of some of their models. This one is new though. Our actor was being paid directly by a model to increase her yachting fees for this summer. She wasn't getting much traction and would have just been one of many. Now, she is in really high demand. Leonardo DiCaprio (Camila Morrone)

479. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#4**
A very rare spotting of this closeted A list football player and his boyfriend at a public event. They usually do not emerge together anywhere there might be cameras. Aaron Rodgers

480. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#5**
This former stripper turned celebrity turned reality star turned escort has not been giving a cut of her escorting business to a relative who has been basically stalking her to get the money owed. Blac Chyna (Tokyo Toni)

481. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#6**
This former child rapper/actor isn't really married. He will literally do anything to get an ounce of publicity. It wouldn't shock me if he ended up under some type of 5150 hold in the next few months. Shad (Bow Wow) Moss/Kiyomi

482. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#7**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee continues to try and mount a comeback. He recently sent over a hooker/stripper to a soon to be co-star to congratulate him on landing the part. Mel Gibson/Rob "Gronk" Gronkowski

483. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#8**
A Reader Blind Item: The year was 1989. It was my birthday and a girlfriend decided to take me to that famous LA underground club that changed locations weekly. We got there, I in my sky blue skin tight mini dress and hair up to here, innocent and unknowing as to what the evening would hold. I was immediately adopted by this 24 year old grandson of a very famous studio head who was already gone but still remains extremely well known to this day. He reminded me of the singer of REM. Ha. He made sure to tell everyone I was "legal" so naturally every single person had to buy me a drink. I was not a drinker. He then asked me if I was interested in going to the VIP room. Why not, so he grabbed my hand and off we went upstairs. He asked which VIP room I wanted to go in. I asked what the difference was. He said there were two film wrap parties so I said whichever one seems more fun and let him decide (here's me from OC with zero idea.) Room #1 had the weirdest conglomeration of famous people. The film was horror, complete with a monster. It starred a famous ballet dancer. I was offered drugs by almost everybody, I was rather shocked but I declined because I didn't do them. A older man who was famous for quite a few TV/films in the 60s was there, he was not doing drugs and offered to share his pizza with me so I did. We chatted and ate and had a great time. Until I went to the bathroom. Nobody warned me that was where the harder stuff was, and the weirdos. The guy who played the monster swore I was in the film, that he had killed me in the last scene. I said no, not an actress. A director overheard us and came over to ask me if I was interested in acting. I said no. He gave me his card anyway. My friend took it and tossed it LOL. Then an actor famous for certain comedies back in the 70s bugged me to do coke with him. I again declined. I think this again impressed my new friend who stayed by my side and kept watch. Many people asked for an intro but I still didn't even know who he was. Soon the people in the room were asking me about myself, my life, where I lived, etc. They were shocked I wasn't in entertainment and had no desire to be and found my boring life to be enthralling! Crazy. Soon my friend grabbed my hand and took me to the other VIP room. This film that wrapped was much higher on the success scale and had several of its costars present. It was a comedy drama and had several memorable lines, one of which I repeat to this day regarding licensing for adult activities. The room was more of the same, only there were several people in there who were with same sex dates and I had NO IDEA they were gay!!!! I am not going to out them but it was very shocking, let me say. Everybody was very nice to me because of my friend whom someone had informed me who he was at the bar when he stepped away. It didn't change anything for me, he was near my age and was very nice to me and we were having fun. He asked me if I was interested in being his date for the premiere for this movie and I said why not. He chuckled at me because I was not impressed in the people postulating and more interested in talking about music which he loved. Soon we went back downstairs because the band started. My friend said nothing about who was performing but when we got there the guy onstage was wearing this weird combination straitjacket/corset, lots of femme makeup, and the performance was very dramatic. Not really my thing. I had a guy I was interested in meet me at the club so I said goodbye to my friend and set off for a romantic adventure. Hollywood is really freaking weird, and that was just one memorable evening. The premiere is another story.

24 year old grandson of a very famous studio head: Tony Goldwyn (grandfather: Samuel Goldwyn)
Famous ballet dancer: Mikhail Baryshnikov
Movie: "The Cabinet of Dr. Ramirez"
Comedy Drama movie: "Parenthood"
Quote: "You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." (Keanu Reeves)

484. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#9**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor who actually was the lead a couple times is A- list now. You all know him. Some very big hit movies in his resume. His thing as of late is to send his much much younger wife to yoga classes to try and pick up threesome partners. Jeff Goldblum (Emilie Livingston)

485. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#10**
This foreign born former A- list rapper who has some serious nomination/wins to her credit is trying to make a comeback after a very quiet few years. Knowing her, she will make a big splash and I think she is going to spill a lot about an affair she had with this permanent A+ list rapper because she hates him and his wife. M.I.A. (Jay Z/Beyoncé)

486. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#11**
This A list singer/reality judge was being the biggest diva/control freak to her employees who she now takes everywhere. She was just plain rude to staff at a store who were doing their best to meet her demands. It is like she watched Devil Wears Prada again and just really wants to be Miranda. Katy Perry

487. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#12**
This A- list mostly movie actress is filming a new movie while waiting for her box office bonanza to be released. She is also taking every opportunity during filming to snort white powder. No one has been able to identify if it is coke or heroin. Amber Heard (filming "Run Away With Me") (box office bonanza "Aquaman")

488. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#13**
This three named actress who remarkably is not named Evan Rachel Wood separated from her long time husband for a few weeks. Apparently he is back in the house, but things are shaky. Candace Cameron-Bure/Valeri Bure; Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick; Sarah Michelle Gellar/Freddie Prinze Jr.

489. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29 **#14**
Apparently one of the reasons The Church is breeding their own so to speak and abducting new victims at such a young age is to make sure no one has any sexually transmitted diseases. They restrict the movement of those old enough to leave the grounds and are monitored when they are allowed to leave. They want no possible diseases brought into their world that could threaten their way of life. Apparently, there was a pro golfer not named Tiger Woods who visited their sex clinic not even two years ago and he spread an infection to multiple women there. They vowed to never let that happen again.


It was a typical Louisiana spring 20 years ago. Hot, humid, and rainy most afternoons. I was separated from my husband at the time, so to earn extra income, I took a low paying job as payroll manager for a security guard company. Yet I got the greatest perks of any job I would ever have before or after. You see, occasionally we would provide guard services for movies filming in the area. And the jovial owner (now R.I.P.) allowed me to act as an unpaid 'supervisor' on some sets. When we got a call one day for services on a major studio production which would star my favorite adolescent heartthrob I'll call TM I just knew this was one I HAD to "work" on. I had even kissed the famous denim jacketed poster on my wall and now I had the chance to see him in person? Hell, yeah, I was going! The movie was a fictionalized account based on a Permanent A++ celebrity's rise to international fame in spite of his weakness for a certain something. The first filming location in NOLA was a Friday night near the French Quarter on the Moonwalk. I and some guards got there about 5 for a 6 pm shift change. The pivotal scene they were shooting that date was going to be a night one, but setup can take hours. I walked around talking to our other guards who were out there already to ask what and who they'd seen. Of course I had to ask if they had seen my permanent A list former teen idol anywhere or if they knew when he'd show up. I don't exactly have a quiet voice so in spite of the hubbub a cameraman overheard me and said, "He's off tonight. He's not in this scene." My heart sank. When the guy saw my face he said, "But most of the main cast will be filming at Oak Alley (Plantation) tomorrow." Well now I knew what my Saturday's plans would involve! I decided to see the sights and enjoy the evening for a while. I did see the now deceased A++ award nominated/winning director talking to an assistant on the levee. Didn't recognize anyone else. Right as it was getting dark, it started to drizzle. I noticed a lot of the crew was heading toward the closed off parking lot of a Catholic church/school with a lot of food trucks inside. I was told that anyone with the crew was welcome, so I and a cop friend headed there. The rain was really starting to come down by then. My mind was blown when I saw what was being served from those trucks. There was LOBSTER, Chateaubriand, gumbo, hot dogs, etouffee, salads, baked Alaska, almost everything you could imagine or desire. You just walked around with your plates and it was served up, to be eaten inside the school cafeteria. While I was in the steak line, a limo pulled into the lot and stopped. I saw the driver jump out, pop open an umbrella and say something to the passenger. I then hear a very familiar drawl say, "Tony, I learned to hold an umbrella and get my own food 40 odd years ago, son. You do NOT need to do it for me. Go park this thing and come get some supper honey!" The rain was slacking off, so the umbrella was left in the car, and the incredibly talented A++ mega-award nominated/winning actress in most formats gets out and walks over near the food line I was in. Let's call her AW. On her way she's saying " Hows it going Jake? " or "Hey Sue!" - just friendly small talk with assistants, bit players, electricians, etc. I was just amazed at how "normal" she was. I went inside the cafeteria a few minutes later to sit at a table where I saw some of the guards. I told them who I'd seen outside. And as if on cue, she came through the door being held open by a guy in coveralls. Had her hands full, and came and sat down at the long table right next to ours. She was the only star I recognized in the room, just sitting surrounded by "regular folk". I avoided staring, but couldn't help overhear. She was telling someone how she didn’t want to eat in her damn trailer, just felt like getting out and about before she had to do her scenes. Obviously she seemed more at home amongst blue collar workers than Hollywood elites. Though I loved her movies before that evening (especially that particular tasty named one almost all Southern females adore) I suddenly became a huge admirer of this down to earth famous woman sitting a few feet away. Though I didn't want to bother her for an autograph like a few people did, I timed my own eating so I finished just as she was getting up. I threw away my stuff and as she headed for the doors, I held it open. Then I got my nerve and said, "Miss ----, I'm DP with XYZ Security. I have to say, you are one of my favorite actresses and its been an honor just to eat dinner in the same place. Hope you're enjoying it here" She looked at me, grinned and said, "Oh D, been in New Orleans so many times, just love it here! And thank YOU by the way." I replied puzzled, " For what?" "For not saying you're my number one fan..." We both laughed so loud people turned to look. She patted me on the shoulder and went back out in the night to Tony who was waiting near the doorway with the car. I was thrilled later on when this role merited her more major awards/nominations since I was "there" when she did it. It turned out to be a great time even if I hadn't seen TM. But I still might have my chance at Oak Alley...

The next morning, though I didn't get home till 1 a.m., I was up bright and early. Actually Oak Alley Plantation was closer to my house than the Quarter. I put on my favorite dress and just enough makeup so it wouldn't run in the humidity. Just in case I might happen to see TM and he might see me too! Yeah and if wishes were fishes, right? Minutes before I left I got called by a guard on my pager. Louise had left their badge at home so she asked me to pick it up and I did. I was driving past the row of famous oaks before noon. Sun was out and muggy but weatherman had predicted late afternoon showers. This location seemed way busier than the previous night. Seemed like over a couple hundred people with the crew were there and I noticed several very nice RVs and camper trailers parked near the mansion. I got out and started looking for the guard whose badge I retrieved. Saw a different one and I asked him where Louise was. He told me she was posted right near the back doors but I should hurry because they'd announced filming was going to start in about 10 minutes. I started walking as fast as I could towards the back. As I came around the corner I almost collided into an older gentleman sitting in a chair. I was so embarrassed and profusely offered my apologies. Then I realized who I'd literally bumped into. A+ (now passed) mostly TV actor who had one of the most iconic villainous roles on TV ever. He chuckled and said "Don't worry about it darlin'! No harm done. For a short little thing you sure move fast!" A lady sitting next to him who I later found out was his wife of over 40 years was laughing too. I smiled, said "You are too kind Mr. N! Thank you." I hurried off and found Louise about 3 minutes before someone called "Quiet on the Set!" As I walked back near the front where they weren't filming at the time, I saw a group of people I knew and headed towards them, pulling a pack of smokes and a lighter out my purse. Right after I lit my cigarette, a pretty blonde lady wearing no makeup, shorts and a long man's style button down shirt came up to me. "Excuse me" she said in a British accent. "May I bum one from you please?" "Sure." I said as I handed her one and the Bic. " Thank you so much" she replied as she took a long drag. "Left mine over in the trailer and its so muddy there. How DO you handle this humidity? Like breathing underwater." I nodded and said "Air Conditioning." She grinned, said "Thanks again sweet", as someone was coming up to her with a script. I walked over to my friends. One of them said " Oh my God D" I went "what?" He goes, "do you realize who that is?" I replied she looked really familiar but not positive. " Damn girl, that was ST, she won an Oscar a couple years ago for _____, she's playing TM's wife in this! " (She would also go on to several more noms/wins and end up starring in my personal ATF Christmas romantic comedy) I was shocked. Me, no one special, talking to 3 world famous stars in less than 24 hours. They were all very nice to me too, but the teen girl in me still yearned to see TM in person. But if I didn't get to, oh well, c'est la vie. Realized I had a storied star filled weekend to remember for the rest of my life. No regrets...yet.

That afternoon I walked around, checked roll to make sure everyone was there who was supposed to be, reported any non crew/staff affiliated lookee-lous as we called them, and brought drinks or snacks to those who couldn't leave posts. I would also watch a post if they had to step away for a bathroom break. It was during one of these sit-ins in late afternoon that I would overhear something that changed the whole outcome of my quest. Guards and other non-essential staff were not allowed inside the mansion when filming. They were to be on the outside porches or in the lawn area. But as Lance came back he was breathless. Even though he was twice my age he always called me Miss D. "Miss D, hey, you aint gonna believe this, but I just seen TM come out the side doors of the house and Loreen says she heard they was takin him to the makeup trailer. (He wore a lot to make him resemble the real person he was based upon) She's sayin if you go by the RVs maybe you can catch a glance of him coming out." Yes dear readers my cover was obviously blown and every employee of my company knew why I was "on the job". And they all now seemed to be determined to make my wish come true. (Too bad Mr N's previous TV character's wife wasn't around!) I asked if I could get near the RVs or did the studio have their private security covering it. "Hell no Ms D, Captain Bill over there. Them Hollywood folks got bit by one skeeter standin around and they booked ASS! And it aint even dusk yet! Buncha woosies!" Thats all I needed to hear - Bill, a retired military man, was gruff but had a fatherly soft spot for me. He would let me go anywhere I pleased. So off toward the trailers I went. I found Bill and asked which was the makeup one and he pointed it out. "Was TM still in there?" "Maybe, not positive, been a while. " Ok, so not too specific but best lead all day. He pointed out a nice rig a few feet away. "Go stand over there so won't look like you're stalking him if you see him coming out." Ok, good idea. So I stood by the luxury trailer and fired up another smoke. ( it was the 90s, ok?). Minutes later, door to that one opens and this red headed big muscle-bound guy steps out with a cigar in hand. "Mind if I join you?" He looked safe enough, and Bill was a cough away just in case. "Not at all." "Hi I'm Mark, who are you?" Told him my name and I that I was an onsite security rep. Showed him my badge to prove it. He laughed and said I was the most petite security woman he'd ever met. Told him I used the bigger guards for my light work. He laughed. Then I asked him what he did. "Oh, I'm TMs personal trainer, bodyguard, assistant, you know, whatever." My eyes widened, "So is this one HIS?" "Yup he'd prefer his plane but nowhere to land by the house." He chuckled. I said "Wow, very cool. Wouldn't happen to have any souvenir headshots around in there?" He paused and said "hmmm not sure". Then I just started talking and couldn't hit the verbal brakes. I said, "You know I've been a fan of his since his first episode of (hit education-based comedy). Over 20 years and it seems like almost every movie he does he gets better in. (So I exaggerated a bit..) For example just a couple of weeks ago I saw ----- at the movieshow. He and (then A+ actor from major acting dynasty family) were so incredible in it switching roles I sincerely believe they should give BOTH of them Oscars as co-Lead Actor. They both deserve it!" (Yes over the years I realize its somewhat of a hokey flick and plot but still love it). Suddenly I hear a low quiet voice from inside the trailer say, " Aw, that is so nice of you to say that. " I turn as the door opens wide. "I really appreciate the compliment. Thank you, thank you so much.". And then I'm looking into the most incredibly crystal blue eyes I've ever seen to this day. They were so light blue I'm convinced he wears darker lenses for movies. TM is inches away and smiling at ME! His hair looked damp but still had gray color in it and he had a towel around his neck. He was wearing a plain white tee and jeans. I, a woman who could out talk an auctioneer, was stunned speechless. I had to be visibly trembling. He was even more gorgeous in person than on film. He put out his hand. "Hi, I'm T..what's yours?" I shook it and WAS shaking now. But I think he was used to reactions like mine. I stammered , "Uh, I'm D--, D-- P---." " "Well, pleasure to meet you D.P. So by your accent I assume you're a true Cajun lady, huh?" I could only smile and nod. "Love hearing the way you all talk down here. Y'all almost sound like you're from where I was raised in New York." I kind of giggled at that, and replied how NOLA natives hear that all the time. I glanced around and noticed Bill, Lance, and a few other of our guards a few yards away, looking at the two of us, all grinning. Out the corner of my sight I also noticed Lance's wife Coral and two kids. They always picked him up from jobs. She had a camera. Right about then TM says, "Hey Mark, got a few of those promo pics on the table inside. Go get one for our friend here please?" Mark goes inside as my mouth starts functioning with my brain again. We made some small talk about local favorite dining spots. Told him about one well known as a Mafia hangout that looked like a dive outside but had the best pasta in the South. He said he'd actually heard about it and was definitely going to go before they wrapped down here. I felt a couple of rain drops as Mark came out with the photo of him in character and a pen with gold ink. TM leans it against the wall and signs it. "To D--, with thanks and love, T....M..." He handed it to me. "Here you go." At that point as it starts drizzling, Coral comes running up. "Hey Miss D. , Mr. M? Is it okay if I take a picture of y'all together?" I looked at him. He said, " Sure! Scoot closer D." and he put his arm around me. DAMN, I was trembling again! As I'm only 5' and he's like 6'2" my head didnt even come to the top of his shoulder so he hugged me and I prayed I was smiling pretty as she pressed the button. "Hang on D, one more just in case!" He had the nicest smile cause he had so much practice obviously. I told him thanks Soooo much, and he said "my pleasure! Enjoyed talking with you" as he leaned over and kissed my cheek. I seriously think I blushed for the first time since grade school. Then Coral says, "Hey Lance, come 'ere! Mr. M, can me and the kids get a picture with you?" My good natured movie star was grinning and said, "Yep! Come over!" as suddenly several people appeared out of nowhere, guards, extras, and even youngsters. Though it was now seriously raining he never seemed to mind as they ended up taking the whole roll of film of admirers with him. Finally Mark came up and said the limo was ready to go back to town and they needed to split. There was an audible "awww" of disappointment as he waved to everyone and started heading back to the trailer to get his things. He passed right in front of me, and tapped my cheek and winked. "Bye D." using my shorter nickname and then he disappeared inside as a policeman said we all had to leave the area since they'd be pulling off in a minute. I walked away in a daze, surrounded by friends saying, "You really met him!" "We got our picture with TM!" "He's so cool!" "He kissed you D!" I barely heard them as I walked on air back to my car. To this day it still seems like a wonderful dream if I didn't have the autograph and pictures to prove that once upon a time it came true. P.S. I am well familiar with all the rumors about this gentle man over the years. I will not confirm/deny or even state my own gut instincts on the subject. Because I. Don't. Care.-What consenting adults do if no one gets hurt is none of my business. We all have secrets. I just know he was amazingly nice to me and a bunch of other minimum wage earning fans one hot, wet Louisiana day and that's what's important, right?

TM: John Travolta
MOVIE: "Primary Colors" (Bill Clinton)
A++ award nominated/winning director: Mike Nichols
A++ mega-award nominated/winning actress: Kathy Bates
A+ (now passed) mostly TV actor: Larry Hagman (J. R. Ewing on "Dallas") (wife: Maj Axelsson)
ST: Emma Thompson (Best Actress in a Leading Role "Howards End") (Christmas movie: "Love Actually")

491. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#1**
This daytime talk show host is still boozing it up during her show and combining it with whatever medication she has swallowed that day. It makes for a very unpredictable reaction and interaction with guests and crew. Wendy Williams

492. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#2**
This former state politician turned national news maker is on pins and needles right now because the way the press are digging into one particular story, they might discover that on a certain trip he and his female staffer shared one hotel room. The staffer is single, but our former politician is married.

493. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#3**
Himmmm: It's been a while since this (former A list mostly movie actress who is a multiple Academy Award winner/nominee) has done any acting of note. Her entire career really went over a cliff when she and this director tried to make their passion project which was so bad it helped sink an entire studio. He says he's never claimed to be a genius auteur, but could barely get any work after allowing her to make all the decisions for them both back then. Last week, she called him at the office. He put it on speaker phone, and I heard every word. She tried to convince her ex, this same director, that they should re-team and do a new project together. She swore it would re-ignite both their careers. She even hinted that they could "re-ignite our own passions too". The Director looked like he'd seen a ghost; he adamantly refused, and told her he'd spent nearly 15 years having to rebuild his own career from scratch all because he let her dictate that disaster of a movie to him. He politely wished her well, and after ending the call, he put her number in the "Blocked" list of his mobile phone. I told him I doubt the world would weep for that reunion. Geena Davis/Renny Harlin ("Cutthroat Island")

494. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#4**
Himmmm: One thing that we forgot to share back during the Oscars came back across our radar recently. At a pre-Oscars party hosted by a big talent agency in Coldwater Canyon, this (A+ list action director) was sneaking around outside to meet up with this (former reality star turned A-/B+ list mostly television actress), who was ditching her companion. She and the Director were making out and doing some heavy fooling around, and assumed they were unseen by others. But their plan was transformed when this (A- list mostly movie comic actor who started out on television) stumbled upon them while looking for a place to make out with his own pickup for the night. Being drunk, high, or obnoxious – the funny guy thought he was funny in acting like he was going to announce his discovery of the couple to the whole party. The Director shut that down with a sharp punch to the gut, and a severe threat. After recovering, the not-so-funny guy went around spilling the news to everyone there, who were happy to mock her since she's earning a reputation as a coucher and climber. The Director had already left, and the actress/singer was forced to endure the whispers and laughs the rest of the night.
A+ list action director: Michael Bay
Former reality star turned A-/B+ list mostly television actress: Katharine McPhee
A- list mostly movie comic actor who started out on television: David Spade

495. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#5**
Himmmm: This (foreign born A list selfie taking model/wannabe actress who recently got a role) recently ran into this (A+ list mostly movie actor) on a night out. She tried to cuddle up to him and purr in his ear, asking him if he wants to "spend some time" with her. He acted like she had a disease. (And she very well may, but no more than him). He physically recoiled, snarled his lip, held up his hands and told her: "No thanks – I don't like to take the same road twice. Aren't you like, married or something?". He then left her dumbfounded and shocked as he shook his head walking away, leaving her to wallow in her apple-tini and desperation. Emily Ratajkowski/Robert Pattinson (FIJI Water at the 33rd Annual Film Independent Spirit Awards)

496. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#6**
Himmmm: This (A- list mostly television actress on a long running network sitcom) confessed over lunch recently that being single again is not what she'd hoped it would be. "This is the longest I've gone without getting laid since I lost my virginity", she said. She then proceeded to list all the guys, married and single, who have asked her out recently. She said they're all looking for a mother or a maid, and that's not her. She then stunned her lunch partner by bragging about the satisfying online video chat sex she's been enjoying recently with strangers. "Some even say I look like that actress on that show and I tell them I get that all the time", and she laughed. With total horror, her friend asked her why she'd risk exposure with something like that? "It's totally safe, and it's not like those things are recorded...right?". A face-palm slap later, her friend explained to her that yes - those sessions are often recorded. And posted on porn sites. The naive actress suddenly lost her appetite, and said she needed to run home to take care of something. The friend paid the lunch tab out of pity for her. Julie Bowen ("Modern Family")

497. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#7**
One Night - A Reader Blind Item: If you remember that recent reader blind featuring that pot-loving A-List rocker, GS, you will remember that he and I went to this posh, South African school, along with that B-List Academy Award winning Hollywood director, T, who was then playing the lead in all the school theatre productions. South Africa was a very disturbing place to live, especially if you were like me or GS, and had a lot of Black friends and associates. We lived closeted lives, highly fearful of being outed because of the abuse we would have suffered if our racist classmates had found out where our true sympathies lay. South Africa was a brutal, totalitarian state and an atmosphere of dread hung over the land that was difficult to shake. All of which leads in to one of the most mind-blowing day and night I think I have ever experienced, in the company of this recently-deceased foreign-born music legend, ST. Not all of you will have heard of him, probably, although in his native land and in certain parts of the music world he was permanent A list. If you don’t know him you might well know his son, a B-/C+ list Hollywood host/announcer. ST won multiple Grammys and even hit number one on the charts in the States back when he lived here. ST had created some of his country’s greatest signature songs, and he had played around the world for decades along with his A List first wife, several HOF bands, and many other music greats. He was huge, gregarious, fun, and collaborative—quite simply a human tour de force, a true inspiration, whose fame, was, if anything, far less than he deserved. I would only ever be with him for about six hours, six hours that constituted perhaps the most intense and draining day or night of my life, a day that still lives large in my family’s memory. When my Mom drove down to pick me up from school for a long, holiday weekend, she told me we needed to go pick up ST at a location about fifteen minutes away. ST had been living in exile for two decades due to his political affiliations, although he had returned to live just across the border of South Africa in the city where I grew up. He was THE man in our city, music-wise, and I had seen him perform once before at an outdoor venue, and his massive, raspy voice combined with the big sound and harmonies of his band just blew the crowd away. My mother drove to a spot close to an infamous, massive slum. This was the ghetto where ST had lived when he became famous back in the day, and he eventually jumped into our car wearing some paint-splattered workers’ overalls and an incredibly shabby hat he was using to stay incognito. He had gone to pay his last respects to a close relative who was on their deathbed. When he got into the car, it emerged that my mother had undertaken to smuggle ST into South Africa. He had borrowed an American passport spare. The border was due to close at 8pm, and it usually took over four hours to get there. We all knew that failing to get through the border on time would be a disaster. Not only were we a multiracial party travelling together, but among was a big-name celeb travelling on a fake passport. Failure would necessitate having to camp out all night in our car in a venue with a massive police and army presence. ST himself faced years in jail if caught, while the rest of us would have found ourselves in short-term detention and interrogation at the very least. So we had to drive fast without getting caught speeding. At the beginning, we were still relaxed. ST did some brilliant impressions of the "Jive language" from Airplane that cracked everyone up. While still near the city, an amazing moment occurred when this huge hit song came on the radio—you all know this song, performed by this blonde, gravelly-voiced one-time A-List singer/songwriter, BD, that singer who got her start playing in this ultra-hokey folk band along with that permanent A List country singer in the sixties. My unhip parents even had their Xmas album! Actually, that BD song was probably one of the biggest hits of its era, and ST sang along to the chorus, his massive bass filling our Nissan. When the song was over, ST told a story, most of which I’ve forgotten, relating to his meeting with BD back in some bohemian location in NYC when she was an unknown. He had known her well, extremely well, and they had tried to collaborate on a song, apparently, after they hooked up. Even us two teenagers in the car were impressed. You would probably have picked ST to have been doing Eartha Kitt or Nina Simone instead, but to each his own. As the hours passed, the tension increased. We had to slow down in towns, and then once back in the countryside again, my Mom floored the accelerator in a way I have never seen her do, ever. There were some shaky corners and near misses with oncoming traffic. As the tension went up, we stared at our watches and ST endured my Duran Duran and Pat Benatar cassettes. We got to the border with about ten minutes to spare. ST ripped off the overalls to reveal some upscale slacks and a "USA" sweatshirt. We walked inside, talking loud and American. It was the quickest and easiest crossing anyone in my family ever had, just no-look, stamp, and see you later, and within five minutes we were heading for home with the burden of apartheid lifted off our psyches as we basked anew in the atmosphere of a free, democratic country run by wonderful people. Relief, elation, happiness—how life can shift in a matter of minutes! But our night was not over. After about a minute into our drive, we came upon stopped traffic. The driver of an El Camino, coming the other way and heading toward the border, had hit a donkey, and a couple of cars were stopped on the edge of the two-lane highway. The donkey, badly injured and in utter despair, was standing up in the opposite lane, unable to move. Those of us who had stopped, along with the dazed driver of the El Camino, had no idea whatsoever to do. At this point, we saw headlights coming towards us, in the distance, coming very fast. This vehicle was clearly in a hurry, and with only a minute or two remaining before the border closed, he was clearly intent on making it. The ten or so people stopped along the road, milling around and looking at the crippled donkey, all soon came to the vivid realization that something terrible was about to transpire. The car was clearly driving out in front of its headlights and there was no way it was going to stop. The next five seconds were long and tortuous, and we all took cover as the approaching Mazda headed toward the donkey at well over 100mph. Following impact, we were all sprayed by warm blood, and then, amidst the smoke and carnage, we noticed that the donkey, or what remained of it, had been deposited in the back of the El Camino! Then out of nowhere, emerging out of the chaos and destruction, came the distinctive bass of ST. Up to this point I had no reason to believe that he was a basketball fan, but in an imitation of Johnny Most he yelled out, "Count it and he’s going to the line!" Nobody laughed, but it was brilliant spur of the moment repartee. Meanwhile, the two passengers in the Mazda were badly injured, barely hanging in there, and by the time we went out and brought the police back the driver could not be saved since there were no jaws of life on hand. The other passenger was pulled out, and I hope he made it…… Badly shaken having seen death up close and personal, we returned home in a silent funk. After that I only ran into ST a couple of times. A few years later he came up to me one day and told me that a northern European soccer team had purchased the rights to his recent single and that he was going to shoot a video. He said that he thought of our crazy experience often, and that the chorus of his new song was inspired by its events. He needed me and a bunch of other young blondes to impersonate the fans of this team. It was not an easy task to obtain a group like this in an African city during the school year, but with the help of some peroxide, some missionary home schoolers, and some friends whose parents were willing to let them play hooky, we had enough bodies to create a sizable "fan" section. We headed out for a hot and dusty day of shooting at a soccer field not far from the club where he did most of his gigs. ST had his famous instrument, the one given him by that permanent A++ list music legend, which he played and posed with when he was not out kicking a soccer ball around. My group wore a bunch of orange shirts and banners, and did some choreographed cheers from a large rock nearby. I didn’t actually see the video until it appeared on YouTube thirty years later. ST was magnetic and his band was tight. But the blonde cheering section was nowhere to be found. We must have been lame on film. Just another group of chumps whose 15 minutes ended up on the cutting room floor.

GS: Musician: Dave Matthews
T: B-List Academy Award winning Hollywood director: Gavin Hood
ST: Foreign-born music legend/A List first wife: Hugh Masekela/Miriam Makeba
His son, a B-/C+ list Hollywood host/announcer: Sal Masekela

BD: Blonde, gravelly-voiced one-time A-List singer/songwriter, ultra-hokey folk band along with that permanent A List country singer in the sixties: Kim Carnes ("New Christy Minstrels") ("Betty Davis Eyes")
Famous instrument, the one given him by that permanent A++ list music legend: Louis Armstrong (his trumpet)

498. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#8**
Dancing Boy Update: After I clicked "send" on that last update, I immediately had regrets - not because of what I said but because of what I didn't say. I'm talking about that cryptic final paragraph. That's where the bombshell is. As far a certain type of story is concerned, this one could register high on the Richter scale (sorry for the mixed metaphors) - probably in the top three. For people of a certain age, it might be #1. Maybe, in writing it that way, I was being a little paranoid. After all, should the invitation to the bed-in at the Chateau Marmont be accepted by this person (not the actor, I mean, whose story we all now know), a certain permanent A list entertainer will probably have a bad day, maybe more than one. He's not likely to be happy with us. Part of the cause for my concerns lies in one of the entertainer's works (with his longtime collaborators) from the 1990s. It teases violence against a person in a particular occupation - the one practiced (in another medium) by that son of the acting family whose real father we all know; the eyes are the giveaway. What's creepy to me is the title of this work, which includes not just a word but a name. Here's hoping it doesn't prove to be prophetic. But back to the invitee. As it happens, he is my age, and at roughly the same time I was doing small time kid modeling gigs, and community theater, he - along with other boys our age - was doing videos in a state neighboring his own. These videos were about an alt-sport not involving water, but sometimes practiced in places drained of it. Then came that fateful year when we were both offered the proverbial part. But while I would end that year nearly famous, he would become actually famous for this one thing. It aired on tv. In fact if you were alive and of a particular age you probably saw it on a specific show. And while he is credited as an alt-sporter on IMDB, what do you suppose his other role in this production was? Of course, he disrobes less than I did, but by the end of his roughly four minutes of screen time he's at least halfway there. A note too about the format: obviously it's 16mm (which was at the time the standard for film school gear). I'm guessing that the director, because of his day job, didn't need to buy or even rent cameras and lenses for the shoot. Is it all clear now or do I need to s-p-e-l-l it out further (with not dashes but another kind of punctuation)? PS I dated this person's close friend from teen times - a year or so before that occupational work came out. When they had lived together, in barely legal times, the entertainer when in town would come to the boy's bedroom window. He was jealous of the friend. Maybe I was getting too close to the truth back then.

Son of the acting family whose real father we all know: Ronan Farrow (Mia Farrow/Frank Sinatra)
Permanent A list entertainer: Michael Stipe
Violence against a person in a particular occupation - the one practiced (in another medium): ''Kenneth, what is the frequency?''/Dan Rather
Invitee: Noah Ray/skateboarder ("It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)")/R.E.M.

499. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#9**
The Film Festival - A Reader Blind Item: Hey everybody! A somewhat frequent-ish but new (as last fall; longtime lurker, however) commenter here. When Enty asked for reader blind's, I knew I had to share mine with you. This one's a tad more salacious than the other reader blind's, but nothing that will make you overly hate humanity. And yes, for all you skeptics in the comment section, this is 100% true; there even may be video of it somewhere. Anyhoo, I am lucky enough to have a hobby (which I want to make a actual career, but having a hell of a time getting paid gigs for it) that lets me hobnob with celebrities. Most of my interactions are pretty mundane "hey, I just met so and so type" stuff that really isn't all that interesting. But I want to share my own craziest, weirdest encounter with a celebrity. And probably show you how much of a dumb*ss I probably am. For the past few years, every fall, I have been going to a film festival. A big film festival run by that down South independent theater chain that we all know. The one that had a HUGE PR disaster involving sexual assault and harassment and their response to it? The one that rehired the creepy editor of their in-house movie website and run that hip film distributor? That one. Anyway, this was long before that all became public. This was about five years ago. My second time attending this festival. There was a movie playing there that year, that was a big deal for them. It is NOT a big mainstream hit. It played theatrically in big cities, but only made like five digits at the box office. It was a VOD play. But its also the kind of film that played well to the festival's target audience. The first incarnation of that hip film distributor, which had a different name back then, had picked it up from SXSW that year, and were giving it a big red carpet treatment, with three of the stars in attendance. This blind involves one of the stars. The film's lead, we'll call CP. CP is a character actor type, talented (and friendly) guy, adept at playing creeps and nice guys. He doesn't really rank on the list in a mainstream sense, but does get a lot of leads in indie streaming/VOD type stuff, so he's on a niche list somewhere. I wish him more big success, which it was why it was a nice surprise to see him in a small, but sizable enough, role in that Academy Award nominated film from that permanent A+ list director we are all suspicious of, from last year. The film's biggest name is probably AM. AM is a B/B+ dual threat comedic actor, best known for scene stealing supporting roles. When he's done leads they've bombed. But he's a great support ringer. Best know for a favorite, highly quoted and memed comedy from about fifteen years ago, give or take, in which he starred with a bunch of other comics who went on to be big A listers. It had a less satisfying sequel years later. Weirdly enough, takes place in a milieu similar to CP's last big film. Finally, there is ER, the third star, and the subject of our blind. ER is a B-/C+ character actor who's most recently been on a couple of hit almost television shows, different almost tv "networks." He was former back in the day child actor who probably is best for his lead and/or supporting roles in a trio of cult teen comedies from about two decades ago. One he had the lead in; two were musically oriented; and two feature co-stars and bit players who would go on to A and A- list fame. ER probably could have joined them if he didn't bet his fame chips on taking the lead in a terrible (and terribly named) flop tv show in the early aughts that marked the first major effort for a production company after they made that ultra-low budget horror phenom released around the time of ER's peak fame. So, anyway, now that I got all the hints out of the way, back to the story. So I was at this festival and in the audience for this movie. They were treating it as a party. And that party included a dare contest. There was a guy who got the film's title tattooed on his butt in front of the entire audience, for example. And there was a blind dare -- you didn't know what you were doing until you agreed to the dare. In my idiocy, my hand shot up. I was chosen to do the blind dare. Turned out to be innocent enough -- at first. I was dared to drink a "weinie martini" -- an unholy libation made from the juice from a can of vienna sausages (complete with a sausage garnish, like a martini olive.) When I was on stage, being interviewed about the dare as they were making it, I was asked by the host, the owner of the theater, what I thought it would entail. I learned right then and there, never give them an opening. I said I figured it was a drink someone dipped their junk in. I think you know where I am going with this now. Light bulbs went off. An offer was placed to the audience. Hands shot up. But no one was more enthusiastic then someone sitting in the row directly in front of us. A row of celebrities. ER was deeply, cheerfully enthusiastic about being the junk-dipper. I can't blame him; he has the same kind of mischievious, gremlin-like energy when it comes to this stuff that i have. So, of course, he was chosen, and to his credit, he gave me the choice of shaft or balls (I went balls.) Off to the corner he went, a couple of dips and back he came with my drink. Now I could have walked away then and there, but i'm standing in front of a packed audience full of people, and i can't just NOT do the dare, so down the hatch it went. Wasn't actually bad; a bit salty, which could have either been testicles or sausage juice, I don't know. But, anyway, how many of the CDAN commentariat can claim to say they had a drink made from a celebrities junk?

ER: Ethan Embry
Indie Film: "Cheap Thrills"/"Drafthouse Films"
Festival: 2013 "Fantasia International Film Festival"
AM: David Koechner
CP: Pat Healy

500. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **#10**
Rock Star Sex And Fetishes - A Reader Blind Item: I have cousin who ended up living a very different and sad life than I. We hung out as young kids, but then we drifted apart and while my life became more privileged, parents climbing the corporate ladder and all, hers took a turn for the worse. Many turns actually. I'd heard through the family grapevine over the years about her tough life, in and out of jail, rehab, getting into a gang fight while pregnant and losing the baby. Just so sad and forward to a couple of years ago, she hits me up on Facebook after decades have gone by since we last spoke or saw each other. Turns out we live just a couple miles apart - I in echo park, she in Mac Arthur park. Her birthday was coming up so I took her out to breakfast. We smoked a joint, and shit got real. I noticed she wasn't eating anything, she admitted she'd smoked a little meth before we met up. I couldn't even tell. Aside from not eating, she's a goddamn pro. Wouldn't have even known. It was like no big whoop. And that is how she spoke of her past-matter of factly, that's just how it was, life. Ran away from home to LA with her "boyfriend" when she was 12. Got pimped, was dumped shortly thereafter. Walking the streets of LA. At 12. At the moment, I was shocked and was too high to pry further, and felt like a dick for even asking if she had any dirt. She did. I can only imagine. "You know the dude in the band that wears all the make up?" Um..."the guy with the tongue.." (LT) "Yeah, that dude. He made me piss on him." LOL real shocker that one. I'm a decent judge of character and he's always come off as giant narcissistic turd... She slept with, wait can I try this? Um...That rock guitarist who's silhouette you would all recognize when she was 16 or 17. (GR) I guess that would have been early 90's. She considers them good times, so who am I to judge....

LT: Gene Simmons
GR: Slash

501. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **BLIND ITEM #11 thru 14**
Lady Loves Part One - A Reader Blind Item
This BI will probably end up running the length of the typical Novelist Himmmm BI, thus I both warn and apologize in advance. Pretty foolish request up front, but please don’t speculate as to my identity or the identities of my 5 Lady Loves (especially the last one, Lady #5, as we have been married shy of 2 decades now and she’ll kill me if she finds out J), as none of us are famous. I think there will be enough fun tidbits for people to guess at without us anyway. That said, let’s hop in the DeLorean and let it take us back 25 years almost to the day, to the waning days of this legendary L.A. FM rock station that had exploded onto the scene in the tail end of the big hair bands era of the ‘80s. Said station had launched with much fanfare with an inaugural song, an iconic song by a legendary rock band that the station would go on to use in a signature marketing ploy – every time they would play said song, a caller had a chance to win $10,000 if I remember correctly. Funny enough, my buddy’s kid brother subsequently called up the station to request they play that song, only to be cussed out on air by the legendary DJ. Before the station would disappear into the mists of time, it was even honored/mocked by having this other legendary alternative rock station bring it back not too long after - if only for a day. Springwas in the air L.A., and Spring Break was just around the corner - the first Spring Break in many years that I wouldn’t either have to work for the old man or be able to go out of town to blow off some steam and celebrate. I grew up in the industry "on the wrong side of the tracks" so to speak – working long hours whenever I could spare the time for the old man - helping out on gear, props, equipment, anything and everything behind the scenes, behind the camera, in the background as the son of a "mad scientist" technical genius who made a pretty decent living as a freelance (and usually uncredited…in fact almost entirely uncredited per the old man’s IMDB page) technical/engineering consultant, special effectsman, propmaster, and occasional stuntman and minor/bit part character actor. He was a "fixer" less in the Ray Donovan sense and more in the scientific sense – when a studio had some sort of technical problem they couldn’t solve, my dad was one of if not the go-to guy to come up with out of the box, creative solutions. His far-too-often-unsung efforts won his various employers numerous Oscars, Emmys, VMAs and Clio awards over the decades. But enough about me and my fam (for now), let’s get on with one of those Crazy L.A. Days and Nights.

Now there’s something people need to understand about L.A. – not only is it chock full of the world’s finest ladies most trying to make it or break it in showbiz, drawn to the glitz and glamour of the industry like moths to the flame, but it’s also blessed that the home grown variety, those sun kissed California girls, were hardly ever what one would consider to be runners up in the aesthetics department. Speaking of blessed, I, one of a seemingly rare breed of non-transplant, native born Angeleno sons, have been blessed in my forty-something years on this earth to have loved and been loved by 5 of California’s (if not the world’s) absolute best…every single one of them, while not famous, a goddess in my mind. Each as lovely on the inside as they are/were on the outside. While there are many tales that I may one day tell of myself, my experiences, and my Lady Loves, today’s tale focuses on Lady #4, who we will call Washington. Washington and I (along with Ladies #1 & #3) attended the same high school, a pretty high fallutin’ public school that was in those days both famous for its academic excellence and quality as well as notorious for its wild party scene. In fact, an alum of the school had directed a pretty successful cult classic teen coming-of-age movie that was heavily influenced by his own experiences at the school/town. It had a kinda-sorta "in spirit" remake/variation not too long ago. The place even had a rabid pack of rocket scientists in its backyard, not just the rockband we’ll get to very soon that used to play in and around those backyards. I was a couple of grades above Washington, and had been a few months past breaking up with Lady #3. Washington and I had a class together that year, and over that fall, winter and spring we grew close, very close. In the time leading up to Spring Break she found herself torn between her douchelord of an on again off again boyfriend and me. The boyfriend, conveniently for us, decided to be his douche self and break up with Washington prior to heading out of town for Spring Break. I would deal with that Grade A Shitheel in time, but at that time I decided to put my personal desires and wants aside and just be the "In the FriendZone" shoulder for her to cry on. And cry she did – that first weekend of Spring Break it was tough to see her break down like she did, especially with the unrequited feelings of love, passion, and desire I most definitely had for her, and was sure she had for me. But I was working on a plan to cheer her up, with the help of a friend of mine who had a line on a hush hush event that was coming up the middle of that Spring Break week.

My buddy had some very good connections throughout the L.A. music scene, including at this Legendary Sunset Strip venue – one of the most storied clubs in America if not the world. He had heard a few days prior that this Legendary rock band with a pair of brothers was going to be putting on another "secret" show there that Wednesday – though hopefully it wouldn’t end up like the previous one. As both of us were YUUUUUUUUGE fans of the group, he made sure to arrange that we could get in. I told him to do whatever it takes to make sure Washington could get in too, as she was also a big fan. I wanted to surprise her that day to try to kickstart her heart through the grieving process and get her out of her funk. My buddy said he’d try but no promises, to which I responded not good enough, make it happen…OR ELSE! (No, not that last bit...I was firm but polite...and begged him to please help me make that magic happen). Now the only thing left to do was to arrange for her to go out with me that night for a surprise "date". She didn’t want to go out at first, but I convinced her to just meet me for a couple of hours at a Spring Break house party another of our friends was throwing while his parents were out of town. I got there in the late afternoon, and her gal pals brought her over shortly thereafter. When I first saw her at the party, my heart skipped a beat. Even after days of being down and inconsolable, crying all the time, and not giving a shit about her appearance, even as a shadow of her previous self as she was at that time, she was radiant. Absolutely stunning. Gorgeous. Like magic (there are no coincidences ), one of my favorite 80’s love songs began playing in the background…a song that will always remind me of that moment: The Outfield – Your Love. We went outside to a quieter, more private spot to talk, and she was still feeling down…I didn’t blame her, but the hopeless romantic in me ached at the sight and thought of her suffering.

PART FOUR: We talked for a little while, but we were getting close to the time when we would have to leave to head to the concert. I told her I’m going for broke – that I planned a surprise to try to cheer her up, but she would have to trust me and leave with me right then and there. In the months ahead, we would go together to the Strip quite often, especially to this other legendary club, part owned by this probably permanently A list Actor right off of it which was still a few months away from opening as that notorious venue. We would end up seeing a LOT of crazy shit together, but at this particular point in time, we were at a crossroads. Another song, an obscure rock love ballad by a ragtag group made up of members of other bands, was playing in the background. The song will forever be seared in my memory, although years later, I would forget the name of the band and the name of the song. I would remember the lyrics, the rhythm, the beat of it – set to the memory, in slo-mo, of Washington’s beautiful, azure blue eyes both as big and deep as oceans blinking, me wiping a tear away from them, her finally cracking a smile. That song would become my version of Al Bundy’s "Hmmm Hmmm HIMMMM", until I finally found out its name again and the band that performed it, a few years ago. I don’t know what compelled me to look up right at that moment, but – and I know this is going to sound like some sort of cliché bullshit but it absolutely positively happened – a bluish green shooting star streaked across the sky from East to West. What can I say, I took it as a sign and moved in to kiss her…it was literally like a scene out of a John Hughes film (one of my favorite ones actually – Weird Science, where the guys get the girls after fighting off the Mad Max mutant bikers, and a pair of shooting stars streak across the sky as they kiss them). And of course because the universe loves to play with us silly humans, just like that, yet another played out cliché - who happened to show up and start breaking up the party juuuuuuust then, at of course the most inopportune time? The cops, or to be precise in this jurisdiction, the LASD. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. SIGHHHHHH… I took Washington’s hand in mine, and told her it was now or never – I would be fine with whatever she chose to do – either go out with me that night to parts and places unknown, or I could take her home - but she had to choose.

502. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#1**Once the parents of this foreign born A- list tween actress find out that a supposed friendship with a family is more about replacing the parents as management more than anything else, I think you will see the "friendship" end in a second. Millie Bobby Brown/Kim Kardashian

503. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#2**
This foreign born permanent A list model should know if you hook up with a married man for money, you need to be discreet. She wasn't. The wife of the married man found out and then he had some scrambling to do which made our model look bad in public. Naomi Campbell/Muhammadu Buhari GCFR the President of Nigeria

504. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#3**
This one named rapper with a spelling problem almost killed his soon to be ex because she exposed his hookup with another woman which he immediately caught a lot of grief over. Fabolous (Emily Bustamante)

505. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#4**
One member of this celebrity family is in the news for an awful crime. However, the son of that family member, who is married to an international celebrity was known for years as the guy who would sexually assault or rape his household help. He went through dozens of barely legal maids and housekeepers who were subject to daily abuse for as long as they were employed. Pippa Middleton’s father-in-law David Matthews

506. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#5**
This A list actor/singer/rapper/writer says he is going to make it his life's mission to destroy this female A list singer. Donald Glover/Taylor Swift

507. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#6**
If there was ever anyone who needs to fear for her life, it is this woman. She is facing decades in jail. She was someone sent out from the church in the local community not very far from the sex clinic where she used to work after being groomed in the church. She was supposed to recruit potential tween and teen boys. She messed up and was caught. The church doesn't want her telling any secrets. Kristin Kreuk; Allison Mack (Keith Raniere "NXIVM")

508. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#7**
This former A- list tween/teen singer who was the go to threesome partner for this former hated reality star when she wanted to add a second guy is still closeted. The good news is the singer, who is trying to make a comeback has a long term boyfriend and wants to make a coming out announcement when he gets married. Paris Hilton/Jesse McCartney

509. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#8**
This former B list reality star who is probably a B-/C+ list celebrity offspring right now has been hiding her boyfriend of six months from her parents. Probably would be a Get Out type situation if he brought him home. Brooke Hogan

510. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#9**
You know, it is the pint sized reality star you always hear about with her marriage in trouble, but a female cast member on the same show is the one who is regularly hooking up with the owner of this high end chain of bars and clubs. Snooki/JWoww

511. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#10**
As I predicted, it took just a few days for this aging permanent A list musician to have three women he is rotating between while his "significant other" is across the country doing her thing. He knows when she comes back, she won't care he has been with other women so he is not really even trying to hide it. David Foster (in LA)/Katharine McPhee (in NYC)

512. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#11**
That directorial epic of a movie from this A+ list mostly movie actor just gets worse. At this point, it is a jumbled mess with terrible performances and several entire scenes need to be shot again. Very quietly the studio is bringing in other people to slowly push the actor out. Bradley Cooper "A Star Is Born"

513. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#12**
Speaking of bad acting, this B+ list mostly movie actress with A+ list name recognition and a lucrative side gig is still a terrible actress according to the crew on set. Lucky for her that her new movie doesn't really require much actual acting other than reaction shots to action sequences. Good for her though that she got a headlining gig again though. I honestly didn't think that would happen again outside an indie movie. Jessica Alba

To have blind item guess considered send it to: agcblinditems

What does A List mean?

Last updated:  November 25, 2020