NOTE: Guesses in italics are only guesses;
guesses in RED are a link to the solution or substantial
clues.
1.
POPBITCH
03/01
(British blog) If what we heard about the dressing room activity on an old
ITV light entertainment show is true, then we are very much looking forward
to whichever series of The Crown will deal with the early 90s. But which
member of the Royal family ended up being back there? And what on earth was
all that banging noise about?
Prince
Edward, Earl of Wessex
2. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/01
‘Trust me,’ the source expands. ‘If you saw this actress in
the street, you would probably do a runner
’cause she’s such a nut. And I was dealing with nonstop
emails from her.’ A friend that worked at a popular industry trade told
me recently that a former B – maybe A – list actress had been banned
several times from commenting on his site. ‘She would post under these
weird usernames, but use emails that referenced her real name,’ I’m
told. ‘It was really obvious it was her and her opinions on what was
happening in the industry were ace, but the
arguments with other commenters were too frequent.’ Sean Young ("Blade
RUNNER") ("ACE
Ventura")
3.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#1**
This married Governor is best friends with a married college basketball coach.
That friendship extends to using the same escort service.
4.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#2**
This foreign born still one hit wonder slept with a director in order to
get him to finance her latest music video.
Iggy Azalea
("Savior"/directed by Colin Tilley)
5.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#3**
This closeted A+ list singer has a new crush and wants this female foreign
born A- list singer to go on tour with her in hopes something could happen
between the two.
Taylor
Swift/Camila Cabello
6.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#4**
This B+ list dual threat actress focuses on bad movies. Even though she is
B+ list she has A+ list name recognition. She was married to an A+ lister
too. That married man she has been seeing on and off for years is finally
getting a divorce because his wife got sick of his lies. Look for her to
push away whatever she had going on the side with this A+ list mostly movie
actor and fully embrace being with the now technically married man. Katie
Holmes (Tom Cruise) (Jamie Foxx)
7.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#5**
This A- list mostly movie actress who usually exclusively focuses on comedies
got her start in television. She wants to be in a new superhero movie, but
part of any deal is she only has to do very very limited press. She just
has severe issues doing things like that or meeting the public.
Kristen
Wiig ("Wonder Woman 2")
8.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#6**
Unlike the men she yachted with when she wasn't legal, this A- list reality
star did not actually have sex with this offspring until she was legal. She
thinks they are exclusive except for his occasional drunken forays. He though,
is planning on making his ex pregnant. The ex wants that but has not told
her current boyfriend either. The ex has experience with the half sibling
thing and doesn't want it for her own kids.
Sofia
Richie/Scott Disick/Kourtney Kardashian/Younes Bendjima
9.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#7**
Apparently more drinking and a hookup with a guitar player led to the split
of this A list country singer and her long time boyfriend.
Miranda
Lambert/Anderson East
10.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#8**
This former MTV star has been threatening his ex by sending her pictures
of himself with assault rifles and guns and that she will get what she deserves.
There is a video she says he sent but doesn't have any more where he has
an assault rifle strapped to his body while he smokes meth and then goes
on a rant against her.
Jenelle
Evans’ husband David Eason/Olivia Leedham
11.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#9**
"I should have killed you when I had the chance," were the only words left
on a voicemail yesterday to this A- list actress. It sounded like someone
distorted the voice using a computer program or autotune. Hmmm, wonder who
would have access to an autotune she knows. She did turn it over to the FBI.
Evan Rachel
Woods
(POSSIBLY)
Marilyn Manson
12.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#10**
It is a great defense and one of the reasons this former A- list mostly
television actress is so front and center right now. You could never get
away with this defense at any other time so she is playing it extra hard.
The audience is not a jury because she can't get up on the stand and say
what she is saying now. But, she is hoping for media pressure to get the
case dropped. She knows she screwed up and realizes this is a golden chance
she wouldn't have received otherwise.
Rose McGowan
(claims Harvey Weinstein set her up)
13.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#11**
This A list legend is speaking the truth about her recent payments for acting.
She gets scale and nothing more. However, one thing she is not being completely
open about is that she has increased her nightly fee for what makes her a
legend by close to 50% because of the acting which her agents cite when booking
her. Mary
J. Blige (divorce filings)
14.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#12**
This A- list dual threat actor who has a hit cable show and been involved
in a huge movie franchise came out this week. I would love to know any woman
he has dated since his early days in high school. I certainly have never
seen him on a date with a woman.
Lee Pace
("Halt and Catch Fire"; "The Hobbit"; "Guardians of the
Galaxy")
15.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#13**
It was a touching sentiment, and I'm sure that her pay over the years for
acting as a beard played some part in the well wishes, but she didn't do
this A lister any favors in the heterosexual department because the sentiment
sounded like something you would write in the yearbook of your friend rather
than a person you have supposedly been hooking up with for years.
Shayna
Taylor (Ryan Seacrest)
16.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#14**
This former A+ list tweener who got her start in an acting/singing capacity
likes to think she is the one in control of her acting offers. I mean she
is in the sense she can choose between the awful movies she is offered, but
no one is offering her anything with a studio behind it. She makes it seem
like offers are pouring in for her acting skills. They aren't. The only offers
she gets are from producers trying to make a little money by throwing her
in their movie. If someone offered her a real part or a television show,
she would quit this stuff she is spewing and take the job faster than you
could say Mandy Moore.
Miley
Cyrus
17.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#15**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actor who does the superhero thing
is contemplating a big reboot. The problem is his wife wants him to retire
from acting because she thinks his filming and constant cheating when he
films is going to end their marriage.
Chris
Hemsworth/Elsa Pataky ("Men in Black")
18.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/01 **#16**
Awww Shucks Rapist: If I asked you your first thoughts about this A- list
mostly movie actor all of you know, you would say he is a great guy and happily
married forever by any standards and not just Hollywood. You would love his
movies and recognize he has been in some of the biggest movies of all time
and in some of your favorite movies. Now, what if I told you, he was a serial
rapist who used his power to force himself on women. Not just one woman,
but many women. What if I told you, his long time good friend who is supposedly
a leader of the #TimesUp movement not only knows about the women but is someone
who would introduce women to the actor specifically because they wanted to
meet our rapist. The good friend often times had sex with the women as a
condition to him introducing them to the actor. He looked for women who were
open to being submissive. Our A- list actor is aggressive and preferred if
the encounter was consensual but is not going to let a no stand in his way.
That aww shucks image he feels is always going to be his best defense. He
thinks the women he hooks up with on the side are trash and treats them that
way. He says they are disposable. So, next time you watch one of his movies
or think what a great guy he is because he seems like the happy family man,
think about what I have written here.
Sean
Astin (Corey Feldman)
19. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/02
Jennifer Aniston has reportedly cut out one of her famous friends from her
inner circle because she was convinced [name omitted] was leaking personal
information to the media. ‘It’s common with non-famous friends
and family, but a famous friend? Unbelievable.’
Chelsea
Handler
20. MR.
X 03/02 **#1**
This A list talk show host is saying one thing publicly about this mogul's
behavior, but behind the scenes she is already making plans to throw him
under the bus if anything else comes out.
Kelly Ripa/Ryan
Seacrest
21. MR.
X 03/02 **#2**
Brotherly love? Well, not really. More of a brotherly alibi. One celebrity
brother makes sure a photo of him kissing a woman gets leaked to the tabloids.
Meanwhile though, the woman is actually hooking up with the other celebrity
brother but he has an actress girlfriend who is already suspicious. Nice
alibi. Nick
Jonas/Joe Jonas/Sophie Turner (POSSIBLY Annalisa Azaredo)
22. MR.
X 03/02 **#3**
This A+ list mostly movie actress is trying to make it a triumvirate of outings
she has attempted in the past week. This time it was an A list host/producer
she was trying to out while giving an interview. Her entire press tour for
her new movie is her trying to get media outlets to run with an outing rather
than her movie.
Ryan
Seacrest (not sure if she will talk to Ryan Seacrest on Oscars red carpet);
Taylor
Swift/Karlie Kloss (why aren't they friends anymore)
23. MR.
X 03/02 **#4**
In horrible plastic surgery news, this former A list mostly movie actor who
is an acting family debuted a heavily botoxed face this week.
Dennis
Quaid
24. MR.
X 03/02 **#5**
Despite what he says, this talk show host not named Jimmy Fallon is a big
time boozer and also has been known to mix them with pills. He just usually
confines his abuse to his home so no one but his closest friends know the
truth.
James
Corden
25. MR.
X 03/02 **#6**
This A++ list celebrity has moved on from diet pills back in the day to a
stronger substance now because of tolerance issues. He doesn't do it for
diet, but to stay awake for long periods of time.
Donald
Trump
26.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#1**
This A+ list mostly movie actor signed on for a what will be a very controversial
movie for the very large paycheck and because he wants to have sex with this
married foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress who he thinks will want
to when she meets him. Ummm.
Brad
Pitt/Margot Robbie ("Once Upon A Time In Hollywood") (Charles Manson/Sharon
Tate murders)
27.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#2**
This might as well be married former A+ list athlete all of you know no matter
where you live in this world hooked up with this C list celebrity and has
been trying to see her more but she has been blowing him off because of his
relationship status.
Lance
Armstrong (Anna Hansen)/Mia Khalifa
28.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#3**
Apparently this A- list singer who used to be a tweener singer/actress can't
stand to be around a certain figure in her life because of what her boyfriend
made him do with the figure sexually. She says now that whenever they are
around each other, the figure always wants a repeat performance so to speak
and doesn't stop talking about it.
Demi
Lovato/Wilmer Valderrama
(Danny
Masterson)
29.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#4**
She won't tell you this, but this former stripper turned celebrity turned
reality star turned part-time porn star hooked up with her new boyfriend
for the first time way more than a year ago. You do the math. Now she is
trying to get pregnant with him even though they have only been back together
a few weeks.
Blac Chyna/YBN
Almighty Jay
30.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#5**
Apparently this B/B+ list mostly television actress/author has no idea her
co-star was hooking up with the husband of the actress. The actress knows
of another woman but not the co-star. Gabrielle Union/Dwyane Wade ("Being
Mary Jane")
31.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#6**
More money for them to share is the feeling of the remaining members of this
group. The one member not performing was the one who wanted the most money
and is the least talented, so they think it is a win win.
"Spice
Girls" (Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham)
32.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#7**
This foreign born B+ list actor got his actress girlfriend hooked on coke.
Because of his coke issues, they barely have any time for each other. Now
he has his sister hooked on coke and had her orally service a guy so he could
get some free coke.
Charlie
Heaton/Natalia Dyer ("Stranger Things")
(Levi
Heaton)
33.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#8**
This washed up has been who was an awful actor to begin with married someone
of his caliber acting wise. He has been cheating with multiple women while
his wife has been popping pills supplied by a fading to B-/C+ list celebrity
who said she was sober but apparently was lying.
Awful
actor: Dean McDermott
Spouse: Tori Spelling
B/C+ list celebrity: Corrine Olympois
34.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#9**
The long time female lover of this closeted foreign born permanent A list
singer has left the singer because the singer won't come out. Now, the singer
is trying to stage a hetero relationship. That is going to be very difficult
when the press discovers his long line of boyfriends going back at least
a decade.
Celine
Dion
35.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/02 **#10**
The Evil Twin: Were you a runaway teen in the late 60's and early 70's? Did
you make your way to LA to try and make your fame and fortune. If you were
a male teen during those times and were suitably young and suitably attractive,
a female, who was also very young might come up to you and offer to buy you
a meal. If you accepted, you were then fed a meal and the conversation would
inevitably turn to movies and acting and the dreams of the runaway. If he
seemed desperate enough for a part, our young female would give him a card
and tell him to call a very good friend of hers. The very good friend was
this permanent A list mostly movie actor who was past his peak on the list,
but still had A+ list name recognition, much like he still enjoys to this
day. Of course the young man would call. I say man, but we are talking about
teens here. Anywhere from 14-16 was the sweetspot in ages that the female
was told to look for. She was that same age about then. She took over the
job in about 1970. Prior to that time, the job had been handled by an actress.
The actress was foreign born and almost A- list. She had a very secret life
including a secret marriage and a very big secret drug problem. The actor
blackmailed her for many years and would force her to participate in his
fetishes and find young teens for him. If she refused, the actor would have
told the world about her marriage or the drugs, either of which would have
ruined her career. After her suicide, the actor turned to her "adoptive
daughter," who was really herself a runaway who lived with the actress and
her husband and was basically their sex slave. She later had a recurring
role on this long running 70's-80's television drama because she was hooking
up with the at the time A+ list star of the show. Anyway, usually within
hours of handing over a card, the teen boy would call the number and be told
to make his way to an address in the canyons. The gate would be open to a
house. In the driveway of the house would be a Rolls Royce. At the wheel
of the car would be the stunt double of the permanent A list actor. Invariably
the boy would ask if the driver was the actor and the driver would respond
that he was the actor's evil twin. He would then tell the boy to get in the
backseat. There, in the backseat would be the actor. Once the boy was in,
the car would be locked and the driver would start driving. The speed of
the car would pick up and the molesting would begin as soon as the car turned
on to Mulholland. The boy would be forced to orally service the actor and
would often be raped as well. There was no chance for the boy to escape because
the car was locked. Even if he managed to get the door open, jumping would
mean certain death. There was also the gun that the driver carried should
the boy try and fight off the attempt. After the rape, the boy would usually
be left on the side of the road, often not wearing anything other than a
shirt. Apparently this went on several times a week for years.
Actress was foreign born and almost A- list:
Inger
Stevens
A list mostly movie actor:
Charlton Heston
(starred together in "The Buccaneer" in 1958)
Home and Rolls Royce:
Cold
Water Canyon
(Rolls
Royce)
Stunt double:
Joe
Canutt
Secret marriage:
black actor
Ike Jones
70's-80's television drama/A+ list star of the show:
"Little
House On The Prairie"/Michael Landon
Suicide:
April
30, 1970 (25 sleeping pills and a quantity of ammonia)
36.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#1**
Dancing Boy Update: There is going to be a dancing boy short too - pretty
much as it's told in the blind (albeit in a style that apes/riffs on 40s
noir: voiceover, montages, double exposures - that sort of thing). We've
got in mind and are reaching out to particular actor to do the v/o (dancing
boy as adult), or at least direct it. He is a former kid actor turned primarily
voice actor most known for a certain role in a movie (written) by the late
icon of coming of age flicks. He wasn't in one of those, but it's still one
of my favorites (of the icon, I mean). The character he played and I share
a first name.
Dancing Boy’s first name: Kenny
Former kid actor turned primarily voice actor: Taliesin Jaffe
For a certain role in a movie (written) by the late icon of coming of age
flicks: "Mr. Mom" (Kenny Butler) written by John Hughes
37.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#2**
This A+ list singer is being accused of using a homophobic slur against an
autograph seeker. She even told him that he could turn straight if he
tried.
38.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#3**
This one named singer was wasted out of her mind last night backstage at
an event. She also was trying to convince everyone that the half her age
guy she had attached to her hip when not sucking face with him was interested
in her for something other than her dwindling money pile.
Fergie
(Demi Lovato "Tell Me You Love Me" World Tour - Los Angeles)
39.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#4**
At the same event last night mentioned in #3, this married former A++ list
athlete was collecting phone numbers of women. Seems as if he hasn't really
changed.
Kobe Bryant
(Demi Lovato "Tell Me You Love Me" World Tour - Los Angeles)
40.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#5**
This closeted foreign born A/A- list actor who has had way more success on
the small screen rather than the big screen has managed to make sure his
foreign born B-/C+ list actor boyfriend got roles in each of those movies
so they could spend time together. This may also be why our actor has not
been in a rush to find a new beard. Alexander Skarsgård/Osy Ikhile
("The Legend of Tarzan"; "The Kill Team")
41.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#6**
This B+ list comic/actress has been in the news a lot over the past year
or two but not many projects. Until she starts listening to other people
and ignoring the advice that has got her in this position, no one is going
to hire her for anything. Why would they want to deal with it when there
are so many other options that are not going to cause possible headaches.
Mo'Nique
(advice from her husband Sidney Hicks)
42.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#7**
This momager went on an article planting spree this week to try and convince
the world that this B list rapper is the perfect mate for the A list reality
star with a very lucrative side gig. Oh, and something doesn't count as a
gift from someone else if you pay for it and pick it out yourself and the
other person doesn't even know you are doing it.
Kylie
Jenner/Travis Scott ($1.4 Ferrari "push present")
43.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#8**
This B+ list actress is still not old enough to vote, but she is a series
regular on two shows and for the past year has been secretly hooking up with
a producer in his 30's. They used to be super careful but as that 18th birthday
gets closer, they have been more and more public about the relationship.
What the actress might not want to know is that the producer tried to force
himself on a teenager even younger than our actress. The producer was then
sued and quickly settled out of court before his current employer discovered
it. Yara Shahidi (Zoey Johnson "Grown-ish" and "Black-ish")
44.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#9**
This newly married foreign born A list model orally serviced this foreign
born, very rich A+ list celebrity/mogul last night in his car after a party.
Emily
Ratajkowski/Elon Musk (pre-Oscar WME party)
45.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#10**
I never thought I would be saying this, but this foreign born permanent A++
list singer needs rehab again. He is abusing pills that he started taking
after an injury two years ago. At some point in the last year he started
taking more and more. I don't think he wants anyone to know he messed up
again.
Elton
John
46.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#11**
Think about if you would stick around with someone if they did this to you.
Dinner this week. Permanent A list musician and A- list mostly television
actress who has a new gig across the country beginning soon which would take
her away from the musician. So, what does he do? Hits on the waitress in
front of the actress and gets the phone number of the waitress and her social
media. Says he can get her some work singing and they should go out to dinner
the next night. Such a tool.
David
Foster/Katharine McPhee
47.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#12**
This B+ list offspring thinks of himself as a huge star. The only reason
he gets B+ list is because of his name. He loves to talk about how no one
will talk to him anymore because he is competition to them. The reason they
don't talk to him is he is annoying and is always asking to work with them
and talks a very big game but doesn't actually follow through. They all think
he is spoiled.
Jaden Smith
(Will and Jada Pinkett Smith)
48.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#13**
This former A- list mostly television actress who is probably B- on the acting
list right now but is currently a solid A list as far as name recognition
goes because of the way she has been in the news the past six months is not
helping her narrative any when she is in public and crazy wasted.
Rose
McGowan
49.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/03 **#14**
This foreign born former A- list mostly movie actress is a solid A list in
her home country and has been for well over two decades. Back in the day
she made a movie with this long time A- list dual threat actor who specializes
in comedies. I'm not sure he has ever done anything other than a comedy.
Anyway, he had casting approval and wanted to have sex with the actress so
he cast her. The thing is, once the movie started filming, she started hooking
up with a different actor on the film. Our A- list actor then referred to
her as a w***e for the rest of the filming. He also called her a lot of other
names and since he was one of the writers too, added in a sex scene during
filming and some other love scenes too, most of which ended up on the cutting
room floor. Sophie Marceau (French)/David Spade ("Lost &
Found")
50.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#1**
This recently evicted former A+ list singer who should be on a sex offender
register has been known to wave money in the face of women who are desperate
to make ends meet, especially single moms working multiple jobs. He tells
them he will give them the money in his hand if they have sex with him. They
do and he just leaves without paying them anything. The guy is an awful human
being. R.
Kelly
51.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#2**
This agency head is scared he has not crossed all his t's and dotted all
his i's and that a woman will come forward and expose him or one of his
underlings for their previous behavior. He has a team of a dozen people who
randomly listen in on phone conversations of all employees and monitor e-mails.
Of course none of his clients know he is doing this and would probably take
a walk from the agency if they did know.
Jim
Toth/Creative Artists Agency (Reese Witherspoon’s husband)
52.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#3**
We have always known this former A+ list rapper is an a-hole. The way he
treats his kids and mothers of those kids should have shown that. He cares
about nothing but himself and this week added a bunch of new haters to his
long list of haters for his comments about a rival. There is no one who will
want to work with our former A+ list rapper now.
50 Cent
on his comments about Rick Ross
53.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#4**
This A+ list mostly movie actor wasn't told by his best friend, but he was
told by this foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress who is a former
and future co-star that he still had coke under his nose. Our actor managed
to wipe it away before the cameras could get a photo or see his former A
list actor best friend laughing away.
Leonardo
DiCaprio/Margot Robbie/Lukas Haas
54.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#5**
At a party this weekend, this showrunner who has generally focused his attention
to one family of networks before recently making a switch spent a good five
minutes ranting about a woman he refers to as a "b**ch," and that he hopes
will die soon. Yeah, nice guy.
Ryan
Murphy (FX to Netflix) (Olivia de Havilland, 101, suit over her portrayal
by Catherine Zeta-Jones in last year’s docudrama "Feud: Bette and
Joan")
55.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#6**
Yes, that was a low six figure "donation," by this A list mogul all of you
know that led to an organization changing its mind about a decision involving
someone close to the mogul.
56.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#7**
This permanent A list rapper and his equally accomplished wife will be throwing
an Oscar bash. If they threw it last year, it certainly would have included
this disgraced producer as a distinguished guest or even guest of honor.
People seem to forget the rapper and producer had a production deal together
and that the rapper often supplied the producer with women, some of whom,
the rapper had also been with in the past.
Jay
Z/Beyoncé/Harvey
Weinstein ("Rest
in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story")
57.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#8**
This foreign born A+ list actress on her own country was murdered by her
husband. He has a much much younger girlfriend he wants to marry.
Sridevi
(Boney
Kapoor)
58.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#9**
Kept Man: Many of you will be watching the Academy Awards tonight. One person
who won't be watching is a former A list celebrity in his corner of the
entertainment world. He is dead. He was murdered. Back in the day when he
was at his peak looks and popularity, he still didn't make as much money
as someone would in mainstream entertainment. He did however have a long
time benefactor who paid the bills and gave our celebrity an allowance each
month that was considerable. The benefactor was the mogul who seems to pop
up so often in these stories with the violent endings. At this point in his
life, our celebrity was not doing very well financially and was all set to
tell his tales. It was going to be a book. As part of the process of the
book writing, word got back to our mogul. He offered some money to the celebrity
to drop the whole idea, but the money was a pittance compared to the advances
that publishers had been offering. Within two weeks of the mogul hearing
about the book deal, our celebrity was dead.
Billy
Herrington (gay adult film actor)/David Geffen
59.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#10**
The D list celebrity sister of this former A+ list athlete turned reality
star says that more than once she has had threesomes with her brother and
women he has picked up at bars.
Megan
and Ryan Lochte
60.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#11**
This closeted NBA star finally found a beard who is perfectly happy pretending
to be his girlfriend for that nice big monthly check. She has never been
more in demand as a model and owes it all to being a beard.
Chandler
Parsons/Cassie Amato
61.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/04 **#12**
This foreign born A list model/wannabe actress might be the girlfriend of
this A+ list mostly movie actor but it didn't stop her from hooking up with
a different A+ list mostly movie actor yesterday afternoon.
Irina
Shayk/Bradley Cooper/Brad Pitt
62. TAMARA
TATTLES 03/05 **#1**
This currently filming show is having a rough filming season. When you are
on a reality show that keeps getting picked up, you start to think the gravy
train will never end. At some point, this one or that one decides they
don’t have to film with anyone they don’t want to. They start to
feel like they don’t have to get out of bed in the morning to make a
TV show. Everyone is very sweaty. There is one who is being an adult and
is tired of most of the rest of them. The rest can’t be bothered to
follow the production schedule. Things have been shaken up a bit, but storylines
are scarce. Most of the cast has a very inflated ego and feel like filming
should revolve around them rather than showing up to shoots in a timely manner.
They don’t seem to take into account the cost of a production team showing
up while they are still in bed. Sleeping on camera is not interesting. Especially
when it is most of them. Corporate headquarters is fully invested of keeping
this show around. This group needs to get serious about the show or they
will lose it. Once you quit your job to be on a reality show… What do
you do when it ends? I don’t think this group wants to find out. Somebody
needs to actually acquire a baby, or get married, go to rehab or get arrested.
Drinking and arguing and sleeping around is not really a storyline forever.
This show has lost the essence of what the show was supposed to be about.
The good news is that that one hold out is back on the payroll.
Show:
"Real Housewives of Orange County"
Adult: Vicki Gunvalson (the only one with a real job) (sweaty: Cut Fitness
owner)
Hold out: (Gretchen Rossi)
63. TAMARA
TATTLES 03/05 **#2**
This reality show participant on a show that is filming now has adopted a
child. They are trying to keep the news under wraps but the streets are talking.
The baby was adopted at three weeks. It is six weeks old now. Despite being
adopted, the baby boy bears a very strong resemblance to his adopted family.
Brandi Redmond ("Real Housewives of Dallas")
64. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/05
Tradition was broken last night at the Academy Awards when Casey Affleck
declined to present the Best Actress category and was replaced by the female
duo of Oscar-winners, Jennifer Lawrence and Jodie Foster. One A list actor
was furious about change, lamenting Hollywood and the Academy for pressuring
Casey to stand down and trying to present a "feminist agenda". ‘Now
they’re all fucking feminist heros,’ a source quotes the actor
as saying. ‘They were the fucking people that knew about that bastard
[Weinstein] and still supported him.’
Gary
Oldman
65.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#1**
OSCARS: This A- list mostly television comic actress who has a streaming
show and had a recent public split was hammered out of her mind at an after
party and was doing her best to shove her tongue down the throat of this
former A+ list mostly television actor from a now defunct cable program.
He also likes to go commando a lot.
Sarah Silverman
(Michael Sheen)/Jon Hamm
66.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#2**
OSCARS: This aging Academy Award winner who has a franchise was at an after
party with a woman who was about a quarter his age. Apparently she was talking
to someone age appropriate. He grabbed her arm and started yelling at her
that she "belonged" to him for the night.
Jon Voight
("Ray Donovan")
67.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#3**
OSCARS: The male subject of #1 was seen really trying hard to land a job
from this showrunner who signed that new expensive deal. Our actor was introduced
by an actress staple of the showrunner's family.
Jon Hamm/Ryan
Murphy/Sarah Paulson
68.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#4**
OSCARS: This selfie loving A- list model tried to get naked for an official
type photo from an after party and they were having none of it. When she
later tried to do a topless selfie thing at the same party, they warned her
they would be kicking her out if she tried again.
Emily
Ratajkowski (2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika
Jones)
69.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#5**
OSCARS - Himmmm: Was kind of hoping to see this one erupt into an epic cat
fight. The most shocking bad comment and most epic mic drop of the night
both occurred in the same confrontation. Before the ceremony even began.
This (aging permanent A list actress who used to be mostly movies and is
now mostly almost television) was relishing the spotlight and happy to speak
her thoughts, without a filter, regardless of how inappropriate those thoughts
were. When (this foreign born A list mostly movie actress who had a very
big box office year) walked over to pay respects and introduce herself, the
older actress was so sweet to her. When the younger actress walked away,
the legend turned to an assistant and judgmentally sneered: "That's her?
That's the one they made such a fuss about? I guess we know how SHE got HER
starring roles. At least when I started we had to have talent. Guess she's
a member of the right 'tribe', or rode the right 'members'." She said it
a bit louder than she thought, because this (foreign born A/A- list mostly
movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) was very close behind her.
She stepped right up to the older legend and said (while smiling): "She got
her roles by being a hard working actress, not by riding her family's coattails
or riding some French director. Why don't you get your ass back in your coffin
before sunrise, you racist bitch." Then she pivoted, and walked off without
a word. Wow, and WOW.
Aging permanent A list actress:
Jane
Fonda
Foreign born A list actress:
Gal
Gadot (Israeli)
Foreign born A/A- list actress:
Salma
Hayek
70.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#6**
OSCARS: This foreign born A list DJ was seen at an after party huddled with
this closeted A list reality star with a side gig. He has played the game
before and she is always up for a distraction for the press.
Calvin
Harris (Taylor
Swift)/Kendall
Jenner
71.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#7**
OSCARS: This B/B- list mostly television actor at an after party who is only
that high because of the ensemble show he is on right now was minus his higher
on the list wife last night at the party. Apparently he took that as a sign
he could hit on other women. He was very subtle and made sure to tell the
women they needed to keep everything hush hush. He also was telling the women
that his marriage is on the rocks. There was a model there who fell for his
story and he invited her to come visit him on set.
Mark Consuelos
(Kelly Ripa) ("Riverdale")
(Kelly
Rohrbach) (2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika
Jones)
72.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#8**
OSCARS: This A- list mostly movie actor with a vowel to begin his first and
last name kicked his girlfriend out of the area at an after party where he
was standing to get his picture taken by the press. He said to her that she
should know better. Real treasure this guy.
Ansel
Elgort
73.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#9**
OSCARS: JV swears to me that she walked past this talk show host twice to
tell him that he was an a-hole and that even after she did that, a wrangler
tried to get her to go on camera with him. She told them they didn't want
any part of that.
Ryan
Seacrest
74.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#10**
OSCARS - Himmmm: This (former back in the day A+ list mostly movie actress)
sneered while looking at (this A list celebrity/athlete): "What is SHE doing
here? Are they stooping that low now? This is supposed to be for elite
professionals in our craft." The lady beside her (A-/B+ list mostly movie
actress from an acting family who is also an Oscar nominee/winner) looked
as if she wanted to crawl under something and hide. When I complimented her
on her dress and her 'date' for the night, she said with a very sheepish
grimace: "You're welcome to take my place if you want". Don't think it was
her idea for the PR reunion.
A+ list mostly movie actress:
Ashley
Judd
A-/B+ list mostly movie actress from an acting family:
Mira
Sorvino
A list celebrity/athlete:
Lindsey
Vonn
75.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#11**
OSCARS: This B+ list celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister was wasted
when she arrived solo at an after party. She thought she was attending with
the celebrity she has been seeing, but that celebrity is already hooking
up with other women. Our offspring is constantly just used and thrown away
like trash and one of these days something is going to snap inside her.
Paris Jackson
(Cara Delevingne)
76.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#12**
OSCARS: The handlers for this A- list mostly television actress from a hit
almost television show had a list of topics that could not be asked by press
on the red carpet that was so long that most press just chose to not have
her stop at all.
Elisabeth
Moss ("The Handmaid's Tale")
77.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#13**
OSCARS: At this after party, this former A list mostly movie actress who
has stumbled and bumbled her way through one horrible television show after
the other for the past decade or so who is going through a crushing divorce
broke down several times. There is a lot of love for her and last night people
took turns lifting up her spirits. It was a great thing to see.
Alicia
Silverstone
78.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#14**
OSCARS: When this permanent A+ list mostly movie actress was asked a #YouKnew
type question, the actress said, "We're done here," and walked off.
Meryl
Streep
79.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#15**
OSCARS - Himmmm: There's a hidden-away service entrance door off to the side
of the theater, and many attendees use it to sneak out and grab a smoke or
take a break from the stuffy ceremony. This (A- list mostly movie actor who
is an Oscar winner/nominee) was out there when I walked out, smoking something
that wasn't tobacco. "Glaucoma's getting' worse" he said with a grin. While
we were relaxing, discussing new ways to split the atom, this (A list mostly
movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) came outside with a total jerk
in tow. I didn't know his name, but he was not her date. He was an aspiring
horrible comic was my guess. He's trying to make jokes, and I can see the
actress getting uncomfortable and the blazing actor getting a real sarcastic
look on his face. The horrible comic kept reaching to pull the actress' top
open, and she'd smack his hand telling him to stop. Seriously. I seriously
told him that was not nice, and he should knock it off. He laughed and said
she didn't mind, and she crossed her arms looking embarrassed. The idiot
then says: "Somebody should slip Kimmel a note to alert all the women that
Harvey just arrived and he's holding auditions backstage on a couch".
Ha-fu@%king-ha. The guy then pulls out a vial of white powder and does a
bump right there on his hand, much to the actress' horror. He says: "That
Lupi-tiya Oblongo. Or Loop My Dongo, or whatever…she's fine. If you
could Face-filter her about 50 shades lighter to Halle Berry's color she'd
be smoking hot! Fifty shades of Laid!". I saw the chilled-out actor start
to get upset now. The actress stalks off down the walkway away from him.
"I think she's gorgeous like she is", I said. Mr. Idiot says: "I'd still
do her, don't get me wrong, give her some hot slow-jam lovin'." Yeah, a regular
Barry White romantic. After more of this, the chilled-out actor motions for
me to re-enter with him, turns to the actress and says: "You okay? You wanna
go back with us?'. She declined. The actor turns to the idiot and says: "You're
not funny man. You're a total asswipe and the reason so many women have to
put up with all this sh!t. That sh&t you're saying is as bad as the crap
the writers wrote for this show tonight." The idiot just stared with a stupid
grin on his face. Walking back inside, I asked who that jackass was. "Can't
remember his name, but he's a writer for tonight's show." I laughed, thinking
he was kidding. He wasn't. I don't think he'll have to worry about writing
for next year's show. When we returned, both the actor and I stopped in the
foyer and messaged the top production officials of the show to express our
disgust.
A- list mostly movie actor Oscar winner/nominee:
Woody
Harrelson or Matthew McConaughey
A list mostly movie actress Oscar winner/nominee:
Emma
Stone
80.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#16**
OSCARS: This A-/B+ list closeted mostly television actor who has had a good
month or two on television as of late and probably will get an Emmy nomination
for it told a story last night which he made a blind. He says he hooks up
with a closeted Under Secretary each time he goes to Washington D.C.
Darren
Criss (Andrew Cunanan "American Crime Story")
81.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#17**
OSCARS: This recent A list athlete was being an a-hole to just about everyone
he came into contact with. I think this recent fame is going to his head.
Adam
Rippon
82.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#18**
OSCARS: A frequent companion to the person in #17 is someone just about equally
as famous. She was passed out drunk at an after party. It only took about
two drinks to get her wasted.
Mirai
Nagasu
83.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#19**
OSCARS: This B+ list dual threat actress almost got into a fight with another
actress over who was going to mark a milestone on the red carpet. Our B+
lister said she took a lesser pay raise for a new movie just to have the
honor. She ended up with the prize so to speak.
Sofia Carson
(first to walk the red carpet at Oscars this year)
84.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#20**
OSCARS - Himmmm: This (A+ list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award
winner/nominee) approached this (married A list mostly movie director) during
the ceremony, backstage. She seemed a little "off", but was very pleasant.
Without any small talk, she was almost hovering over him, gently stroking
his arm. She said she really wants to work with him, and would be MORE THAN
HAPPY to meet with him anytime…anywhere, to discuss it. She's just such
a big fan of his work she said, and knows that "working under (him)" would
be a experience for them both. "I'm fearless in my acting, and there is NOTHING
I won't try. Nothing", she said softly. After clearing his throat, the director
said that his next project was very similar to one she's already done and
so she'd likely not want to repeat it. (Which is total b.s. but thought it
would deter her). Contrary, she said. "I could do that in my sleep. You're
welcome to watch me sleep if you want." She laughed, and asked him to please
call or message her – not her agent. He said he'd think about it, excused
himself quickly, and tried not to explode laughing. She's subtle. Real
subtle.
Jennifer
Lawrence/Paul Thomas Anderson
85.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#21**
OSCARS: Apparently this former A+ list mostly movie actress was supposed
to have a date last night to an after party. The former Oscar winner told
people she and her date had sex earlier in the day and everything was good
so she had no idea why he didn't want to go to the party. Later, when asked
more about it she did concede they got into a little argument about whether
to eat or not prior to going out and that she may have thrown a plate at
him. Halle
Berry
86.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#22**
OSCARS: This foreign born B list mostly movie actress who only gets that
high because of very recent success was really upset yesterday that her new
A- list actor boyfriend refused to attend the awards with her. He isn't ready
to go public.
Eiza Gonzalez
("Baby Driver")/Josh Duhamel
87.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#23**
OSCARS: This permanent A lister was doing great at the awards, but the comic
actor was doing a lot less great after the show. He didn't even go into one
after party because the entire time he was at that venue he stood outside
and smoked meth.
Dave
Chappelle
88.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#24**
OSCARS: Everyone who witnessed this felt so bad for this recent A list mostly
movie actress who seems to be everywhere. She met this permanent A list mostly
movie actor who she considers one of her idols. The aging actor who had his
time in the movie spotlight decades ago had no idea who the actress was when
she told him that he is one of her idols. He just nodded in a way that indicated
he didn't know who she was and had no idea why she was even backstage.
Tiffany
Haddish/Warren Beatty
89.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#25**
OSCARS - Himmmm: All during the ceremony, there were technical difficulties
throughout the entire theatre. Before the presentation of all the big award
categories, for exactly 15 minutes, all cell and internet service inside
the auditorium would shut off. BLIP! Just like a disconnected phone or web
router at your house. After the presentation? Service would resume. This
continued all night long, and drove many of the attendees insane. Turns out
that _____________________ did NOT want to leave anything to chance, and
have a repeat of last year's screw-ups for big awards. So he hired a very
special technology company to be on hand, working in the control room with
him. They'd been there the entire week before the event, doing work as one
of a trillion technical staff for video, computers, etc. But all night long,
during the ceremony, at least 15 minutes before the winners in major categories
were announced, the Producer would turn to his guy in the control room, who
would then signal a technician. And 'Bob's yer Uncle' – service went
off. Then on. Then off, and on. Nobody wanted to complain to the Academy,
and make it seem like they weren't paying attention to the show. At least
it worked – no award errors THIS year.
Michael
De Luca
90.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#26**
OSCARS: Multiple people said that this permanent A list mostly movie actress
who is an Academy Award winner looked not well. She said she was recovering
from the flu, but others were whispering that she has something much more
serious. She seemed to be in a lot of pain.
Sandra
Bullock
91.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#27**
OSCARS: Lots and lots of whispers and buzz about the continued public absences
of this foreign born A list mostly action movie actor and his supposed
significant other who is a foreign born A- list model/wannabe actress. There
she was again last night, completely alone. She insists that everything is
fine, but it isn't.
Jason
Statham/Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
92.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#28**
OSCARS: This A-/B+ list mostly movie actress/spokesperson all of you know
was really tipsy last night. She does not let go in public very much at all.
She did though, and then shared a creeper story about a soon to be former
in-law that confirms every single theory of the guy ever.
Jennifer
Garner (Casey Affleck)
93.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#29**
OSCARS: This foreign born A+ list singer tried to bring in a dozen people
to this after party. After 20 minutes of trying, he had to settle for three
being allowed in with him. The remaining nine all jammed inside one SUV and
hotboxed the hell out of it until the A+ lister returned.
Drake (2018
Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones)
94.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#30**
OSCARS - Himmmm: Three ladies, including (#1 A list dual threat actress who
is an Academy Award winner/nominee) and (A- list dual threat actress who
is an offspring and had a great television year) were standing in the foyer,
talking very quietly. About that time, this (foreign born A/A- list mostly
movie actress) walks by, says a quick "hello", and walks away as she…cuts
a very obvious fart. Yep, ripped one and kept on walking like she didn't
notice. The stunned ladies didn't know what to say, or ignore it or what.
Then #1 pipes up and says: "Why hold it in when you can share it with a friend?".
All three of the ladies burst out laughing like kids. They quickly returned
to the auditorium – but through a different entrance to avoid the
jet-wash.
2018 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika
Jones
#1 A list dual threat actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee:
Viola
Davis
A- list dual threat actress who is an offspring and had a great television
year:
Laura
Dern
Foreign born A/A- list mostly movie actress:
Emily
Blunt
95.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#31**
OSCARS: This A list mogul made his barely a celebrity wife go to a party
with him last night even though she found out earlier this week he has been
having an affair. This has happened to her before in a different marriage.
Jimmy
Iovine/Liberty Ross (Rupert Sanders’ affair with Kristen
Stewart)
96.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#32**
OSCARS: After wading through all the reports and tips, it appears the female
coke champion from last night was this foreign born B+ list mostly television
actress who was around last night for a nominated movie of which she was
a part. She is also the kind of person who was rude to everyone unless she
thought you were higher on the list or could do her a favor.
97.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#33**
OSCARS: The winner on the men'd side for most coke use went to this actor
who has won the award many times. He is A- list and has been a part of multiple
franchises. He was nice enough to share though with not only his girlfriend,
but anyone who asked.
Miles
Teller/Keleigh Sperry (award for most "coke user")
98.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#34**
OSCARS: One of the more rude comments someone overheard last night was directed
towards this groundbreaking female talent who broke a barrier. She was upset
at losing and some old cranky guy said she needed to wait her turn and get
in line.
Rachel
Morrison (Best Achievement in Cinematography "Mudbound")
99.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#35**
OSCARS - Himmmm: At an after party, this (A+ list mostly movie actor who
is an Academy Award winner/nominee) was trying to remain composed while talking
to (this former A list mostly movie actress who is from an entertainment
family) who was pawing and clawing all over him. In front of his wife. This
actress thought it was 1998 again, and was making very cringe-worthy remarks
to us both. He rolled his eyes about her so many times, I thought he was
having seizures. The wife finally walked off. When the actress was laughing
and reminiscing about a crazy drunken thing we three did one night many years
ago (and got in big trouble over), she said: "You guys want to re-live a
fond memory tonight?". The actor smiled, turned to her and said: "I'd love
to – but I'm married and besides…he and I are gonna come out of
the closet any day now". He grabbed my hand romantically and led me off.
I looked back at the actress standing there frozen, mouth open, looking like
she'd seen a ghost. We ALMOST made it through the doors before we heaved
in laughter. (For the record? We're not. Not that there's anything wrong
with that whatsoever. We just didn't want to re-live ANYTHING with her. Ever).
Ashley
Judd/Matthew McConaughey
100.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#36**
OSCARS: This A- list mostly television actor from a hit cable show who is
an Emmy winner won the award for strangest behavior last night, At an after
party he was convinced people were following him. He accused multiple people
of recording conversations. He acted as if someone was going to kidnap him
any second. The paranoia level was on super high.
Rami
Malek
101.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#37**
OSCARS: Apparently this foreign born B- list celebrity wife of this A+ list
mostly movie actor gained 10 pounds between her final fitting and yesterday.
The designer had to remove a seam and then sew the celebrity/host into the
dress.
Camila
Alves/Matthew McConaughey
102.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#38**
OSCARS - KINDNESS: Yes, she was tipsy, and quite possibly headed to drunk,
but this former A list 80's star who works a lot behind the cameras now wrote
a check for $2500 to a student filmmaker she met yesterday at a party to
help with her tuition.
Lea
Thompson
103.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#39**
OSCARS: This A+/A list mostly television actress probably deserves A+ list
for the length of the hit network show on which she stars, but there are
so many people on it, that she is probably an A. Anyway, she and her a-hole
of a husband got into a screaming match just inside the door of an after
party after faking it down the red carpet. Apparently when they got to the
carpet, a model her husband cheated on our actress was there and gave the
husband a hug right in front of our actress wife.
Ellen Pompeo
("Grey’s Anatomy")/Chris Ivery
104.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#40**
OSCARS - Himmmm: It's been many, many years since we'd all been together
at once, and we were all very close more than 20 years ago. It began as I
was standing and talking with this (permanent A list mostly movie actress)
after the ceremony, and it brought back a lot of memories. I could fill 100
blogs with those stories! Families, laughs, wild and good times. A short
while later this (A+ list mostly movie actor) joined us too. Which led us
to talking about being on a movie set in the 1990's of (a movie based on
a book); and the director of it and things we've heard about him. They too
had heard the same awful things, especially about the director and this (former
A-/B+ list mostly movie actor). The actress told me something has always
haunted her about that young actor, and the director, and another adult actor.
Then the actress floored me with what she said. Back then she was interviewed
by investigators over 20 years ago about the director and this adult actor,
(disgraced former A list mostly movie actor), concerning abuse of local boys.
It was allegedly covered up by this (A list author). It was about something
the director and adult actor did while casting local boys back during the
making of that one movie we were all (unfortunately) a part of back then.
She said she didn't see anything happen by the director, but may have seen
something she wasn't supposed to concerning the actor. She said the writer
was being investigated then for accusations of using his considerable local
legal "pull" in the locations of that film to shut down an investigation.
She was asked about it, and answered truthfully, but the entire case disappeared.
Which explains the writer's desire to move to another state not long after.
My actor friend said he too had been contacted by investigators back then
about the director, but had forgotten all about it until now. The thought
made all three of us sick. We agreed to reunite in a few months when our
schedules allow, and try to find out what happened to those investigations,
the boys, and if the writer did indeed shut down those cases to protect the
director (whose movies were a big revenue stream which made the writer very
wealthy). We want to do this, not for a movie or television show, but for
the memory of that dead young actor. This will not be the end of it I assure
you.
Movie based on a book:
"A
Time To Kill"
A list author/desire to move to another state not long after:
John
Grisham (Oxford, Mississippi, and a home near Charlottesville,
Virginia)
Permanent
A list mostly movie actress: Sandra Bullock
A+ list mostly movie actor: Matthew McConaughey
Director (whose movies were a big revenue stream which made the writer very
wealthy): Joel Schumacher ("The Client")
Disgraced former A list mostly movie actor: Kevin Spacey
Dead former A-/B+ list mostly movie actor:
Brad
Renfro ("The Client" written by John Grisham and directed by Joel
Schumacher)
105.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#41**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A-/B+ list mostly movie actor with the higher on the
list wife was boozing again last night at a party. Never a good thing for
him. His wife was understandably ticked, but didn't say a word in front of
anyone.
Joe
Manganiello/Sofia Vergara
106.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#42**
OSCARS - MR. X: The world's worst dadager crashed an A list Oscar viewing
party and then bid on a charity item which he doesn't have the money to pay
for. Joe
Jackson (26th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Academy Awards Viewing
Party)
107.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#43**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A- list mostly movie actress who is a multiple Oscar
winner/nominee talks a good game about #Time'sUp but she partied last night
with one of the biggest enablers on the planet. She knows it but doesn't
care.
Emma
Stone or Jennifer Lawrence/Judd Apatow
(James
Franco)
108.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#44**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A list actor/theatre star was miffed last night that
he was asked by this A- list actress to pose for photos. Hey, she is the
one who took a break from looking for a new bearding contract to take the
photo.
Lin-Manuel
Miranda/Olivia Munn
109.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#45**
OSCARS - Himmmm - KINDNESS: My companion for the evening just witnessed the
most glorious act of kindness I've seen or heard since one at the Golden
Globes. She had to wipe the tears away to tell me what she witnessed when
she came from the rest rooms. This (foreign born permanent A-/B+ list mostly
movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee) walked into the lobby
near the end of the ceremony. While waiting for someone, he recognized a
young man he'd seen running around the ceremony inside all night, and called
him over. The actor asked him who he was, but the young man said he's not
supposed to fraternize with the attendees. The actor waved his hand, "Hell
with all that. Who are you? I've seen you running all over all night. You're
an employee?", the actor asked. The young man nervously said he was working
a temp job as a seat filler tonight; that he is a scholarship student at
UCLA film school; and originally from a small town in Alabama…but is
honestly finding it too hard to break in to the movies as a hopeful director
without knowing "the right people". The actor pulled out his glasses, put
them on, and took an envelope from his coat pocket. He removed two small
cards (which he tucked back into his coat), and handed the envelope to the
young man. The confused student looked through the contents. Inside was a
stack of VIP passes to the Governor's Ball; the Vanity Fair after party;
and a dozen other tickets and free vouchers for swag. The actor told the
speechless student: "If they give you any shit? Tell them you're my grandson
and they'll have to answer to me." The student was dumbstruck, and kept thanking
the actor over and over. The actor just smiled and waved his hand in the
air, saying: "Here's some advice: remember, keep your ears open and mouth
closed. Learn all you can. Don't be shy and go make some new contacts. Believe
in yourself, and always be respectful to everyone no matter what they look
like or where they're from. Then when your time comes to be invited to one
of these fancy things? You do a favor to someone else who deserves it. Good
luck, son." The actor's date had emerged from the restroom, and they strolled
arm-in-arm out of the exits. The smiling student wiped the tears from his
eyes and whispered "Thank you" to the old man. My companion stepped over,
handed the young man a producer's business card, and told him to contact
the number when he has a demo reel to share. The appreciative student floated
back into the auditorium.
Christopher
Plummer (wife Elaine Taylor)
110.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#46**
OSCARS - MR. X: This A+ list mostly movie actress and this A+/A list mostly
movie actress were supposed to go to an after party together. They didn't
because the higher ranked actress was being a royal pain and the two were
about to have a real fight which would have been ugly. Sometimes the higher
ranked actress just pushes things way too far with her words and actions.
Jennifer
Lawrence/Emma Stone
111.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#47**
OSCARS - MR. X: One of the biggest parties by fame anyway, was also one of
the smallest in number. Our favorite foreign born B+ list singer/actress
thought she would have no problems getting in. She was wrong. The singer/actress
was denied at the door and told it was courtesy of this permanent A list
singer who was kind of hosting it with her husband.
Rita
Ora/Beyoncé/Jay Z
112.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/05 **#48**
Oscars - The Last Dance - A Himmmm Blind: There I was tonight at the big
after party. This was the big after party that most of the older crowd went
to, and was very formal. They even had a real big band playing low music
and formal waiters. Where the winners and youngsters would drop by, before
running off to the wilder, louder parties raging all night. My date was out
doing her thing, and I was sitting there by myself at a semi-empty table,
pretty exhausted, just having a drink and trying to relax a minute. The jazz
music was playing, lights were fairly dim there, and just sort of staring
into space, thinking. The bow tie was very untied by now. I heard a voice,
and saw a pretty young lady asking if she could bother me a moment. She said
someone would like to meet me. Sure, why not? She walked around the divider
and emerged escorting a beautiful, classy, and elegant older lady. I knew
her from the moment she smiled that this was the star of two of arguably
the best movies ever made. Oh, that smile. Some things never fade with age.
I arose, and she spoke softly – but with that voice still clear. She
apologized for intruding, but she'd heard from someone else that I was here.
Did I know her? Of course. Could she join me? Of course. The young lady helped
her to the chair, and we sat there – those beautiful eyes, sparkling
and powerful – still stunning. She said she knew some relatives of mine,
and just wanted to thank me for the help they gave to her in her early career.
She recalled my great-grandmother's pasta and that she otherwise may have
starved as a struggling actress on Broadway in the "old days". She remembered
meeting me when I was a child. So precocious, such a head of hair. I told
her at least I was still precocious. She asked if I recalled dancing with
her at an Independence Day party 25 years ago? I did indeed and was amazed
she could remember me or that party. I was a young lad of around 20 back
then and recall drinking all the wine myself. She said our dancing back then
made her feel young again, the way she did when she danced with this (permanent
A+ list mostly movie actor), nicknamed "C". Wow. She told me she thought
she made Liz Taylor jealous that night, because I danced with her more than
I did Liz. I laughed, and told her I thought the world of them both. I
complimented her on all of her films, and her entire life of grace, elegance,
and beauty. Such a subtle power in her performances, like a velvet chainsaw.
She and I talked for a long, long, time. About this (permanent A+ list mostly
movie director), and about (permanent A++ list mostly movie actor), and about
(foreign born permanent A+ list director). Like a conversation we'd returned
to from decades before, just so at ease. The more we talked, laughed, and
remembered...the more I noticed she'd hold my hand longer. She'd rest her
head on my shoulder periodically, and touch my arm. She said how badly she
missed those days of her youth, of feeling as if there's nothing she couldn't
do if she desired. If she could only go back 60 years, or even 30. She told
me she'd give "all these flirty-skirty girls here" a run for their money.
I believed her. "And why do they all seem hypnotized by their phones? Looking
down all the time? It must be hell on their posture", she said. I agreed.
I noticed her young escort would peek around over at us, checking on her.
I didn't want to end this special moment with this most legendary of all
ladies on this night, but I didn't want to keep her from obligations or rest.
I told her that we should get together soon, and have lunch. She said she'd
like that. She said she was sorry, didn't want to impose, but…well,
could we dance again? Just one more time? To do a favor for a silly old woman?
I told her it would be MY honor, pleasure, and a favor to ME. She smiled
warmly back at me. It took a while, but we gently, slowly, strolled our way
to the dance floor there at the party, strung up with dim white lights. The
big band music was playing slow jazz numbers, and I motioned for a waiter.
I handed him two very large bills, and told him to keep one and give the
other to the band leader to play a special song – IF he knows that tune.
Any big band musician should know it. The waiter did so, and I escorted this
beautiful legend to the middle of the floor. Thankfully, it was not early
in the party so I wasn't worried about photographers. Most of the big current
celebs had already scattered. Even so – this party had an unwritten
rule most attendees adhered to about selfies, photos, and privacy. People
began to step back, giving us room. Some smiled warmly, and others politely
began to back off the floor. Then behold, the band earned their money. The
song - Glenn Miller's famous Moonlight Serenade – started playing, and
her entire face lit up. "I KNOW this SONG!" she said with a brilliant smile
as if she'd just won an Oscar. I had hoped she would recall, for it is what
we danced to years ago. She leaned into me, and I held her gently. We began
to dance, as she rested her cheek on my chest. There was no one alive I'd
rather been dancing with at that moment, to that song, in that place. I looked
down at her, and she looked up at me…smiling with her eyes. Not a
patronizing smile, but with something behind those flawless eyes that I could
not quite recognize. Something far younger than her current years. She was
not there with me in 2018. She was in another place, another time, with someone
else. I held her, moved with her, and even spun her slowly as she laughed
like a young girl. She could still move, and her movements flowed seamlessly
like anyone who had been trained to dance. I didn't want this dance to end,
and wish I'd tipped the band to play all night. I had forgotten the crowd.
When the song ended, I noticed people had left us alone to dance; and were
all standing around the dance floor. A loud wave of clapping and cheers erupted.
She held her hand over her mouth in embarrassment, almost blushing, and hid
her face and her wide smile. Everyone in that party felt the same as I –
to witness a legend still in full bloom. The band played on, others filled
the floor to dance, and I held her arm. She stood tall and I leaned down
and she whispered to me, very softly, the words I can still here at this
moment: "Thank you, so much (C)." Wow. She had called me by this legendary
man's name. I wasn't about to correct her, and didn't know how she meant
it - or to whom she meant it. I am no C, but even if for a moment it allowed
her to be reminded of a dance she shared with him? It was I who was flattered.
Her young lady escort came over to help us, and I thanked my elegant friend
for such a magical moment. I kissed her on the cheek, and she mine. I held
her stare for a very long time, as it melted into a new smile. "Thank you
for…for everything", she said. "You will keep in touch now won't you?",
I teased. Her only reply, "We'll meet again my dear, we will meet again."
Something inside of me felt sure we would – in this life, or the next.
With that, she and her lovely escorts shuffled out towards the doors. I just
sat back down, marveling at such a precious, powerful, and beautiful moment
I'd just had. A global beauty, an amazing actress, and a warm person. This
will forever be the night – and likely the last time – when I shared
a special dance with (permanent A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy
Award winner). In this go-round, anyway.
Actress:
Eva
Marie Saint ("Governors Ball")
Movies:
On
the Waterfront" and "North by Northwest"
"C":
Cary
Grant
Permanent A+ list mostly movie director:
Alfred
Hitchcock
Permanent A++ list mostly movie actor:
Marlon
Brando
Foreign born permanent A+ list director:
Elia
Kazan
113. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/06
He has the famous last name, but he’s considered to be the screw-up
of the family and causes a lot of conflict between other members. Do you
want to know his big secret? He’s as gay as the day is long and apparently
that is the root of his evil.
Conrad
Hughes Hilton
114. MR.
X 03/06
This former tweener turned A-/B+ list adult singer is such a hypocrite when
it comes to bullying. She likes to call out others, but forgets her very
recent flipping off of fans and assaulting them. Oh, and that tantrum she
threw because a celebrity showed up who she didn't like.
Demi
Lovato
115.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#1**
Apparently things are not going well for this foreign born A- list mostly
television actor from a hit pay cable show and the woman he calls his girlfriend.
She refused to be photographed with him at an Oscar party this weekend and
went off on a stylist who took a picture of the two of them in the same room.
I think her real significant other has been giving her a hard time.
Sam
Heughan ("Outlander")/Mackenzie Mauzy
116.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#2**
I don't know if it is because she is not filming anything consistently right
now, but this B+ list mostly television actress who would rather be a singer
just keeps messing with her face when it comes to fillers and injections.
I am honestly shocked that with the work she has done that she has never
got a nose job. Maybe she is worried about the Jennifer Grey effect.
Lea
Michele
117.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#3**
This closeted A+ list mostly movie actor went to an Oscar after party solo.
He then got this very young Oscar nominee/winner wasted and hit on him like
crazy but to no avail.
Bradley
Cooper/Timothée Chalamet ("Call Me by Your Name") (Madonna’s
Oscar after party)
118.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#4**
This A- list reality star already has the creep factor going with his current
girlfriend and when they started dating. There have been others not as famous
as her that were even a little younger. Now? He has been using his connections
to his ex to try to get this mid-teen female to start hanging out with him.
The mid-teen female is a B+ list mostly television actress on a hit almost
television show.
Scott
Disick/Sofia Richie/Kourtney Kardashian/Millie Bobby Brown
119.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#5**
This A+/A list mostly movie actor who has multiple franchises and is an Academy
Award winner/nominee has been married for quite some time. It was not that
long ago that his wife would try to find women to bring home for threesomes,
but her face became to well known, so the couple permanently hired a woman
who comes over once a week. Matt Damon/Luciana Barroso
120.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#6**
The story being told about what happened to this A list YouTube star is leaving
out the detail that the star groped a woman without her consent which led
to everything else that happened after.
121.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#7**
She wasn't supposed to get the part, but this foreign born singer more known
for her crazy name and ex boyfriend got it when she hooked up with the A-
list director who then said he would walk if she wasn't cast.
FKATwigs
(Robert Pattinson)/Spike Jonze (Apple’s HomePod)
122.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#8**
This A- list mostly television actor who stars on a hit show is from an acting
family. His now ex is telling me she ran for her life from the actor after
he got drunk and started beating her while they were out of the country.
She was only wearing a bikini when she ran out of the house he had rented.
She had to have family send her money to buy clothes and then had to get
to the US Embassy in the country to get a new passport. She got treatment
at a hospital locally there. She says he had always been rough, but that
when he got drunk that night, he became a totally different person. This
happened really recently.
123.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#9**
Disturbing, but not surprising. Apparently this permanent A+ list singer
manually stimulated the then boyfriend of her daughter. It was some kind
of fantasy the singer had. Apparently, she and the boyfriend are very good
friends and he has made a name for himself in his own right. Apparently she
also reminded him of it the other night in front of a group of people who
also found it disturbing.
Madonna/Lourdes
Leon/Timothée Chalamet ("Call Me by Your Name") (Madonna’s Oscar
after party)
124.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#10**
There are many reasons being floated for the push of the massively major
action adventure fantasy movie from That movie company. One that is not being
discussed is closer to the truth. Yes it was moved because of the foul mouthed
movie and the solitary hero movie. Yes, it avoids the problems with the fans
and online spoilers but those haven't bothered That movie company before.
Three of its actors have fires that can't be held off forever. Two are set
to leave after this movie. The third still has movies on his contract. Push
the movie and contain the fires. Then let all three out at the same time
and hope the third one is lost in the noise over one and two. It has worked
before. One was even in on the promotion of the pushing of the date!
Massively major action adventure fantasy:
"Avengers:
Infinity War" (Robert Downey Jr.)
Foul mouthed movie:
"Deadpool
2"
Solitary hero movie:
"Rampage"
Two actors set to leave after movie:
Robert
Downey Jr. and Chris Evans
Actor with movies on his contract:
Chris
Hemsworth
125.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#11**
In the past, I wrote about this permanent A list couple and the surrogate
factory they own. Despite the millions they have made from show business,
they make much more money owning this factory. Now, they have a new business.
Women who don't want to carry babies, but still want to make money sell their
uterus. The clients so far are very wealthy Europeans and Russians who either
are too old to have babies or have some other fertility problem. Our permanent
A list couples charge ten times what they do for a surrogacy, however, the
"donor," rarely makes more than $500-1000 for the surgery and there is no
followup care after they are discharged from the hospital.
Beyoncé/Jay
Z
(uterus
transplant)
126.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#12**
It didn't take long for this A-/B+ list writer/actor to move on from his
marriage. At a party out of the country, multiple models said he hit on them
and tried to convince them to hook up. He also hit on this barely legal A-
list mostly movie actress from an acting family who called him disgusting.
Justin
Therous/Jennifer Aniston
(PROBABLY
Chloë Grace Moretz (Louis Vuitton: Front Row - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear
Fall/Winter 2018/2019)
127.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#13**
A director of some episodes of this pay cable show that needs to be 100%
drama free according to the cable network that airs it has been trading sex
for small roles on the show. The show barely survived one scandal and it
won't survive another.
"Westworld"
(the actors were asked to sign a consent form that would make them shoot
"genital-to-genital" sex scenes as well as simulated oral sex)
128.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#14**
The least discussed member of this political family is trying to pitch a
reality show which would be half travel/half life of the rich and famous
offsprings. I'm guessing this means no more school then?
Tiffany
Trump
129.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/06 **#15**
Harikari: So, if you were born in the 70s, grew up in LA or thereabouts,
and liked indie or at least "indie" rock, there was one area band that you
went to see less maybe for the music (although you liked that too) as for
what might happen during the show. This band never got the traction of say
the Chili Peppers and Janes Addiction, but its frontman went on to national
stardom for a certain type of reality tv - a type very much connected to
What Might Happen. One of the times the band performed they were playing
at a certain historic So Cal theater (spelled "re") that was almost destroyed
by a recent and record-breaking fire (within two blocks). I didn't know it
at the time but someone was recording the show, or at least parts of it -
including their probably most known song (the one about the rocker turned
booze baron). It ended up on YouTube, and is there to this day (near the
top of the search list for the song). When you find the video, you'll notice
first his shaved head. Early on in the show, the singer announced that his
girlfriend had just dumped him (you can probably guess why), and for that
(which is to say some) reason he had crudely lopped off his hair. The set,
or at least the part of it they got through, went well enough, but in between
songs the singer grew increasingly agitated, drinking beer and gin and snorting
something he'd fetch from his pocket. Just after they finished that song
came the meltdown, a tantrum about the band, the girlfriend, and women in
general. He was slurring his words, and when challenged by one of the bandmates
threw a bottle of beer at him. The band left the stage and the crowd was
alone with him, the audience and the singer. The crowd was then treated to
a roughly ten minute monologue about his troubles, much of it some combination
of self-pitying and incomprehensible. At the end he pulled a knife from his
rear pocket - a switchblade, in fact - and threatened then and there to end
his life, Harikari style. That's when the lights came on and two men who
looked like orderlies rushed onstage and dragged him away. There is a theory
about the video given the size of camcorders back in the day, it's hard to
imagine anyone being able to smuggle even one of the smaller hi8 ones into
a show. The theory is the singer gave one of his fans advance approval for
filming the show, already planning to kill himself at the end. He would have
become famous in death to an extent he wasn't yet in life. Ironically, it's
his troubles, and getting over them, that made him that kind of famous. According
to a witness at the show, after the orderlies took him away, a certain doctor
came out to address the audience about the singer, and drug abuse in general.
He was going to get the help he needed, he said, and a couple of women threw
alt radio station swag into the audience. He encouraged the young people
in the audience to seek help if they had been abused, or were self-medicating,
or self-harming. The singer had been a semi-regular caller to the doctor's
then radio show, often obviously drunk and on drugs. There was one particular
episode in which a neo-Egyptian sex temple leader was the guest, and he called
in to angrily denounce the leader, who had sex with thousands of women without
protection. Now, of course, the singer was right, but he was obviously not
coherent. This is how the singer and the doctor got to know each other, as
host, and caller.
Bob
Forrest (Dr. Drew Pinsky's trusty sidekick from VH-1's "Celebrity
Rehab")
130. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/07
Be careful who you talk about in public in Los Angeles. Executives were
reportedly overheard complaining about the salary of this A lister. ‘I
thought we stopped paying people that much outright,’ complained one.
‘It should have been half upfront and the rest based on box office,’
responded another. It was nothing but an incredibly angry rant aimed –
for the most part – at the studio.
131.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#1**
An interesting piece of news was dropped during the Oscars. That disgraced
A- list director and his entire network of shady friends must really be sweating
that announcement, about some devastating information to be exposed in the
next couple months.
"A
big free interview on Hollywood abuse and Bryan Singer's network will be
coming from #AnOpenSecret in the next couple months."
132.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#2**
This foreign born A list celebrity who one can argue is more infamous than
famous likes to listen in when this foreign born former A- list syndicated
actress/celebrity has phone sex with either one of her current boyfriends
or even her most famous ex. Julian Assange/Pamela Anderson (French
professional footballer Adil Rami; Robbie Williams; Tommy Lee)
133.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#3**
This B list celebrity offspring of a permanent A+ lister says her celebrity
boyfriend who may now be an ex because of his obsession with young teens
wets the bed at least once or twice a week because he gets so drunk he can't
get up to go the bathroom.
Sofia
Richie/Scott Disick
134.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#4**
This A+ list mogul/host/a-hole would like you to think things are all nice
and cozy with the woman he calls his girlfriend. Ummm, I'm pretty sure that
was a different guy she was making out with every time anyone saw them in
public while on vacation together.
Ryan
Seacrest/Shayna Taylor
135.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#5**
This foreign born former flash in the pan A- list singer who is probably
B- because of his name assured his girlfriend he never got married to a guy
and that the rumor he is bisexual is wrong and he just experimented back
in the day. Ummm, the guy you are seeing regularly is not the same guy you
supposedly married, but there are lots of guys who have hooked up with you
the past few months.
Gavin
Rossdale (Gwen Stefani)/Sophia Thomalia
(Marilyn)
136.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#6**
This former A list singer who has never quite been able to recover his status
despite still selling a ton of records and playing all over the world beat
a woman so badly a few weeks ago that he paid her $100K to stay in his house
until she healed because he knew it would be the end of his career this time
if it got out. During the time she was healing, he convinced her it was a
one time thing and apparently they are still together.
Chris
Brown
137.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#7**
Right now, this foreign born B-/C+ list multiple reality show participant
who is married to a very wealthy foreign born multiple reality show participant
is just embarrassing herself by staying in the relationship. Her significant
other has been all over town with different women and checking in to various
hotels with them for after lunch soirees. Kym Johnson/Robert
Herjavek
138.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#8**
This former B+ list child actress says she has been in therapy ever since
a hit network show ended over a decade ago. She says that this multiple A-
list mostly television actress who is about to get another probable hit network
show would molest her. Often, she would be joined by her husband when molesting
the young actress. The former child actress still does act, but fairly
rarely.
139.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#9**
This very recent A list rapper has been partying way too hard and she is
in danger of dying, not just from her partying but the way she is always
threatening people with violence. One of these days, someone is going to
call her out and it won't be pretty.
Cardi
B
140.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#10**
This A- list mostly movie actor had a franchise that has now ended. In the
last couple of years, he filmed a movie in Italy. He spent most of his down
time driving down the highways having sex with multiple Nigerian women trafficked
to the country for this purpose. He bragged about how he would find three
or four a night every night during filming.
Ralph
Fiennes ("The Bigger Splash" (2015) ("Harry Potter")
141.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#11**
It has been a few years, but this A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy
Award winner/nominee and had a much better year in television than movies
is cheating on her husband with a trainer. What is it with her and her trainers.
Nicole Kidman or Reese Witherspoon
142.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#12**
This permanent A list singer/diva had a recent photo shoot airbrushed to
within a centimeter of reality. She picked the pictures used and kept sending
them back to be retouched more. Never in the history of the magazine have
they retouched photos more than these.
Mariah
Carey ("V Magazine")
143.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#13**
This alliterate C list take anything she can get actress is probably as thirsty
as Phoebe Price was back in the day. You know, that desert level thirst.
She is married to an actor who had a decent run back in the day. You would
never know she is married when she is working a room though. She would dump
her husband in a second if the right guy came along. She is spending thousands
of dollars she doesn't have each month on paps and clothes and PR to get
into parties. Brooke Burke-Charvet/David Charvet
144.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#14**
This now disgraced former A list mostly television actor who has had some
good runs here and abroad was drunk and ranting this past week about one
of the women who spoke out against him. He said if she had been there right
now, he would make sure she never worked again because of how much he would
hurt her. Jeremy Piven
145.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#15**
KINDNESS: This A+ list mostly movie actress picked up the tab for an entire
restaurant this week while she was out of town. When she was paying her bill,
she told the manager to charge everyone that was eating right then on her
card.
Reese
Witherspoon
146.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/07 **#16**
DB: Busted In LA - A Different Dancing Boy: Surprise! The "db" of this story
refers not to the dancing boy, but another one - for him there is a song.
This story does involve not the college but does involve the school, and
back even further in the day. The president is at this time not yet disgraced,
let alone former, and the land war in SE Asia rages on - albeit in its later
stages; Americans are seeking escapist entertainment, especially on TV. One
show is about a mixed family, another about a musical family. We're talking
now about the latter. But I'm getting ahead of myself. How I heard the story
is as follows: one day, after school I was shopping for music at the local
indie record store. I happened to be wearing my school uniform at the time,
and one of the guys who worked there, sort of the town hippie (or one of
them - he now owns the place), laughed and said he used to go to that school.
As we were leaving I mentioned this to my friend, who told me this story...
Initially, the school had not been a k-12 day school with elite aspirations,
but associated with the Church of Christian Science. Among its students at
the time, in addition to said town hippie, was a member of the show's cast
- not the recently deceased one, but the one with the troubled adulthood.
Apparently those troubles began earlier. This is where the story becomes
uncharacteristic for the context, and time. It's an odd point of note, but
even while homosexuality remains unmentionable in some religious communities,
and countries, there's sometimes a surprising tolerance for trans people.
Just think of Iran, where same sex relations are punishable by death, but
sex reassignment surgery is paid for by the state. Apparently among this
group of Christian Scientists it was like that. There was even one trans
girl among the tween students. She was allowed to wear a skirt to school,
and there was a fund taken up for her hormones, and surgery. What no one
knew at the time or expected was that the actor had both a budding interest
in and hostility toward this person, and others like her. And one day after
PE, he cornered her. It's unclear exactly what happened - the two were the
only witnesses - but by the end of it she'd been beaten and robbed (presumably
for drug money). That's when our friend the hippie and his kid brother showed
up. Seeing the state of her, they roughed the actor up, and left him on the
playground. By then a crowd had formed around them, cheering them on (the
actor had a few hangers on, but no real friends). Of course, things being
what they are, both the hippie and his brother were promptly expelled from
the school. And of the actor and the trans girl, only one of them got appropriate
medical attention. I guess they make exceptions for famous people. Within
a few years ownership of the school changed hands, and this history was more
or less lost. Apparently, how the Christian Scientists lost ownership of
the school is that several children (who were students there) - a boy with
asthma, a girl with diabetes, and another boy with cancer - all died from
lack of proper medical care. There was purportedly an infirmary on the site,
which had no nurse, medications, or medical equipment - just prayer books
and religious tracts. It was demolished when the new owners (I guess there
had been a lawsuit by an ex-church parent) discovered a child-sized coffin
in the storage room. The kids are said to have been buried in one of the
surrounding canyons.
School:
Montclair
College Preparatory School
Show: "The Partridge Family"
Not the recently deceased one: David Cassidy
One with the troubled adulthood: Danny Bonaduce
(On
March 31, 1991, arrested in Phoenix for beating and robbing Darius Barney,
a transvestite prostitute)
147. DEMI
LOVATO/BILLBOARD 03/08
Lovato has little tolerance for fakeness of any kind. "The people that
aren’t willing to chill with you at home are the type of people that
just want to be seen with you," she says. "When Ariana Grande and I hang
out, it’s super chill. One time I went over to her place. She had never
heard of the Charles Manson murders." As both tweeted later, they hiked to
his Cielo Drive house and rang the bell. "We were spooking ourselves out!"
She’s close with Iggy Azalea, too, and when I mention that the internet
seems to have turned on Azalea, Lovato rises to her defense. "She’s
super low-key; she doesn’t drink or party. She has struggled a lot,"
says Lovato. "'No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami.' That lyric
explains a lot of her story. She’s very outspoken, and sometimes it
can turn people off. But that’s one of the reasons I love her. She’s
not the type of person who lies to you." Lovato’s tolerance for artifice
reached its breaking point at the 2016 Met Gala in New York, the annual
celeb-packed, black-tie fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s
Costume Institute, presided over by Vogue’s Anna Wintour. "I had a terrible
experience," says Lovato, her voice rising in pitch for the only time during
our conversation. "This one celebrity was a complete bitch and was miserable
to be around. It was very cliquey. I remember being so uncomfortable that
I wanted to drink." She texted her manager, then went straight to a 10 p.m.
Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. "I changed my clothes, but I still had my diamonds
on -- millions of dollars of diamonds on in an AA meeting. And I related
more to the homeless people in that meeting who struggled with the same struggles
that I deal with than the people at the Met Gala -- fake and sucking the
fashion industry’s dick." Glamazon, Lovato knows, isn't her brand anyway.
On tour, she says, "I might pop up in the opening [number] one day and be
in Fabletics. Because that’s what I want to wear. I’m loving myself
-- not for what I look like, but for who I am."
Nicki
Minaj
148.
POPBITCH
03/08
(British blog)
Which veteran film and TV actor is known in the industry as 'Two Fingers'?
Whenever he was required to lift up his leading lady in one particular scene,
that's what he kept trying to slip inside her.
149. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/08**
We seem to be on a nepotism kid spree at the moment, but this blind item
came in and I can’t help but bite. Apparently this fairly high-profile
kid with the famous last name has had his allowance taken away after several
5 figure fashion sprees that maxed out his credit cards. Maybe he thought
dressing like a model would be a career boast? Gabriel Day-Lewis; Brooklyn
Beckham
150.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#1**
This foreign born former A list singer who hasn't had a hit in a very long
time and if you believe conspiracy theories, may be a replacement for the
original has a new boyfriend. He won't last long though because she never
goes too far from that flash in the pan singer/reality star who also supplies
her drugs, but only when she is with him.
Avril
Lavigne/Ryan Cabrera
(died
and was replaced by a clone)
151.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#2**
This diminutive A+/A list mostly movie actor is the front runner to portray
the lead in a new superhero movie. The thing is though, the script calls
for the superhero to be killed. The actor wants no part of that and says
if he is playing the role, that part of the script needs to be changed.
Tom
Cruise "Green Lantern"
152.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#3**
This one season wonder will no doubt cheat on his significant other. I think
we all know that. Did we also know that his significant other has a burner
phone she uses to talk to her "ex."
Arie Luyendyk
Jr. ("The Bachelor")/Lauren Burnham
(POSSIBLY:
professional hockey player named Christopher Crane)
153.ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#4**
A lot of disagreements that have become much more heated. This permanent
A++ lister says her thoughts on the editing of a new movie were ignored which
is why the movie is getting such horrible reviews. She has lessened the number
of appearances she is going to make for the new movie because of the
disagreements.
Oprah Winfrey
("A Wrinkle in Time")
154.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#5**
This is the craziest love triangle type thing I have seen in awhile. You
have this A- list singer who is a pretty bad actress being basically stalked
by the head of this organization who wants her for himself even though he
is married. He is doing everything he can to drive a wedge between the
singer/actress and her current significant other without causing damage between
the friendship of the two men. This is all going to cause a relapse for our
singer/actress.
Selena
Gomez/Justin Bieber/Carl Lentz (Hillsong Church)
155.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#6**
Despite having a significant other, this foreign born A list host/mogul is
not only boozing it at record levels but is also hooking up with one of his
celebrity exes while he is in town. Simon Cowell/Terri Seymour or Carmen
Electra
156.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#7**
This streaming behemoth says they are a supporter of women's rights on
International Women's Day. It doesn't really seem like it with what is going
on in this European country right now. Several productions of shows and movies
have been shut down for the day by women striking on those shows and movies.
All have done so without a hitch. All shows except one. Can you guess who
owns that show? The giant streamer. Producers on that show have threatened
any woman who goes on strike with being fired. The women backed down and
are working.
Spain/Netflix/Paquita
Salas
157.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#8**
One Movie: There is one movie that kind of ties a lot of things together.
It was a movie that didn't make a lot of money. Honestly, it didn't make
squat. It was probably one of the worst performing movies of that year. It
made less than a $1M. It led to at least three deaths that I can think of
off the top of my head. One of the deaths involved the star of the movie.
He wouldn't die until later in life, but at the time he made the movie he
was probably 16, and it was this type of thing that made him who he was and
ultimately killed him. He got the job by having sex with the male producer
of the movie. He was more than a producer of the movie, he was the owner
of the company making the movie. People always forget that he was a movie
big shot at that time. They all just think of him as a record executive and
forget the whole movie thing. That movie thing introduced him to many hundreds
of young teens. Not only did he have sex with the 16 year old lead, but also
his 17 year old girlfriend/co-star. That was all part of the deal. It was
an actress, not this one, that was breaking up his marriage before he was
killed. An actress who was also underage. An actress who was lusted after
by one of his killers.
Movie:
"Watchers"
Death #1 - 16 year old star of the movie: Corey Haim
Death # 2 - Male producer: Jose Menendez
Lusted after by one of his killers: Erik Menendez
Death #3: Kitty Menendez
17 year old girlfriend/co-star:
Lala
Sloatman
158.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#9**
There are guns involved. There are drugs involved. There are kids involved.
I know this has been reality couple all of you know want another shot and
they have done this kind of fakery in the past, but this time something really
bad could happen in their pursuit of a new show.
Tori
Spelling/Dean McDermott;
Spencer
Pratt/Heidi Montag
159.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#10**
This B list celebrity/part-time porn star is hiding a whole lot of income
in a legal proceeding. She just doesn't want people to know that she yachts
for most of her income.
Courtney
Stodden
160.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#11**
Not only has the drinking increased exponentially for this permanent A- list
musician, he is also back using heroin. His significant other is not doing
much to try to stop him, because last time she did, she got beaten.
Tommy
Lee
161.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#12**
This foreign born A+ list basketball player is HIV+. It should have easily
remained a secret, but events where he plays may bring his case out into
the public. "Milwaukee Bucks" (foreign born players: Giannis Antetokounmpo,
Thon Maker, Matthew Dellavedova, Mirza Teletovic)
(HIV,
syphilis cluster discovered in Milwaukee)
162.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#13**
For months, this foreign born B- list celebrity refused to renew her bearding
deal with this foreign born A- list actor. She was so over it. Then, when
her fame started sliding and our actor started getting hotter, she wanted
to be a part of it. He was an a-hole about letting her come back, but it
isn't like he had a bunch of people signing up. He has more quirks than the
subject in #14.
Alexander
Skarsgård/Alexa Chung
163.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#14**
Considering the comments he has made in the past, it is kind of shocking
this foreign born A+ list athlete in his corner of the sports world has let
people see him dressed as a woman.
Lewis
Hamilton
164.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#15**
The suckitude of the tabloids and even monthly magazines digital presence
really knows no bounds. They throw on the biggest kneepads whenever this
momager tells them to. The ridiculous engagement story is the latest example.
When they all run the same stories with the same quotes and/or talking points,
they look like mindless sycophants. Then, when they do run something newsworthy
or important, no one believes them.
Kris Jenner
(Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott)
165.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/08 **#16**
He Dated The Dancing Boy: I've been a regular reader of CDAN for years so
I'm used to wild and crazy stories, but I have to say it goes to a whole
new level of strange when you make one of your daily visits to the site,
and there's a blind about someone from your own past. Followed by others...
You see, I was the dancing boy's mid 90s boyfriend. I have a story that I
think may be of interest to some of your readers. Back in high school, my
older brother was an aspiring a&r guy and sometime road manager for various
bands. It was then that I learned what you might call the Epstein effect,
by which I mean Brian not Jeffrey. This is the rule which states that while
the band might not be gay someone with the management often is. So, if you're
a fan boy/autograph collector like me, and liked to get backstage for that
reason, it was better to make contact with them, rather than the band. It's
how I got in to meet everyone from Aerosmith to a now recently deceased permanent
A list musician/bandleader who had come up from the swamps. The latter show
was where I met the dancing boy. I was in college in Nevada at the time,
and visiting the Bay Area just to see this long running benefit concert where
the musician was performing. ***** was there as a fan too but also because
he had known the musician's daughter and her boyfriend from college. At the
moment we first made eye contact backstage though he was talking to the daughter
of another permanent A lister, this one a foreign born but English speaking
comedian, who had appeared as his screen offspring in a certain movie/comedy
in the 80s. She was also a friend of the musician's daughter. I guess they
had all met in college. In fact, he was asking her if this rumor from a couple
years back was true. The story was that her dad had come to visit her on
campus, and had gone to the right room number of the wrong dorm. It happened
to be the room for the son of a disgraced 80s Wall Street financier/ inspiration
for the famous movie villain, who was I guess known to regularly cavort with
the campus rapists. Her dad knocked on the door, and the young man said "come
in." Apparently he was expecting it to be a girl he had invited over to expose
himself to, as the son was lying naked on the bed, masturbating. Upon seeing
the young man's "tiny hands," and understanding he was up to no good, the
comedian purportedly/mockingly said "I'm terribly sorry," and left. The daughter
laughed out loud, which I took to be a confirmation. Anyhow, sensing an in,
I asked her for an autograph. "Sure sweetie," she said, pinching my cheek.
I handed her my autograph book, and ***** whispered something in her ear.
For a second I thought they might be dating, but then read what she wrote.
It was an autograph with a postscript, which said, my friend ***** thinks
you're cute. I'm thinking to myself what is this the 8th grade, and we're
passing notes to each other? But I played along. I wrote that I liked him
below it, and handed the book to her. She read it and handed it to him, which
made him blush. I never got to meet the daughter of the musician, as she
had I guess already left with her boyfriend for an after hours shooting club
frequented by Bay Area rappers, athletes, and Silicon Valley execs. One of
the members was that legendary CEO. He had apparently started carrying after
being robbed at gunpoint with his former business partner. The daughter herself
had started carrying after an attempt was made on the life of her father,
and the family. In their case it was an arsonist. They barely made it out
of the house, which was quickly engulfed in flames. That crime remains unsolved.
And yeah, there's a song about it. One thing I will say about the dad is
that the recent revelations about not only the cause of death, but the
origin/timeline of the problem, are very probably true. With respect to the
latter, often these are bs stories put out by the family or lawyers to conceal
a decades-long addiction. But in his case I can tell you from what I saw
he was stone cold sober back then, refusing even the champagne and weed being
offered to him by the press and hangers on backstage. And everyone going
back there was screened for track marks on their arms, because he didn't
want that around. After exchanging pleasantries - wasn't that a great show,
where were we from and what were we doing now - he asked me if I wanted to
go to a party in the City. I said sure. He drove an Austin Healey 100-4.
I once read that this car back in the day used to be called "the widow maker."
Apparently there was a small epidemic of speed-related traffic deaths, most
of them involving young men. And by the way he was driving I was afraid we
might become latter day casualties. I asked him if it was really necessary.
He said we'd be late otherwise. I told him I didn't want to become a martyr
for punctuality. He said they wouldn't let us in if we were late. I said
I didn't care. Finally, he slowed down. The party, it turned out, was at
this Mission District club and bar which officially closed at the designated
time, 2am, but unofficially re-opened as an after hours venue for local and
visiting celebs and their guests. The doors stayed open for just fifteen
minutes. That was the case not only because they continued serving booze
after closing time, but what else was on the menu, namely the stuff of that
famous 80s rap tune they didn't let you play at jr. high dances. The A or
A+ list and then still alive area rapper was rumored to be one of the
stakeholders. ***** was on the guest list because his old friend and then
current housemate was dating the singer of a certain influential but never
very successful SF emo act, the one with the hard candy name. We got in with
less than a minute to spare.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Tom
Petty/Bridge School Benefit/John Cleese/Cynthia Cleese/Ivan Boesky/Steve
Jobs and Steve Wozniak/"Jawbreaker"/"I Won't Back Down"/"White Lines"/Grandmaster
Melle Mel
Recently deceased permanent A list musician/bandleader:
Tom
Petty (cause of death - prescription pain medication, and that the autopsy
had found a number of drugs in his system: fentanyl, oxycodone, acetylfentanyl
and despropionyl fentanyl (all opioids, two illegal fentanyl analogs); temazepam
and alprazolam (both sedatives); and citalopram (an antidepressant))
(daughter
Adria)
Bay Area long running benefit concert:
"Bridge
School Benefit"
Daughter of another permanent A lister, foreign born but English speaking
comedian/his screen offspring in a certain movie/comedy in the 80s:
John
Cleese (daughter Cynthia Cleese/"A Fish Called Wanda")
Son of a disgraced 80s Wall Street financier/ inspiration for the famous
movie villain:
Ivan
Boesky (Gordon Gekko "Wall Street")
Legendary CEO robbed at gunpoint with his former business partner:
Steve
Jobs and Steve Wozniak
Very successful SF emo act:
"Jawbreaker"
House fire/song:
"I
Won't Back Down"
Famous 80s rap tune:
"White
Lines" (cocaine) (Grandmaster Melle Mel)
166. SANDRA
ROSE 03/09
A Hollywood power couple shocked fans by announcing they are separating,
but friends say the couple is still very much together. The divorce announcement
was made because the R&B crooner’s career took a nosedive after
he was sued for allegedly transmitting herpes. Friends say the singer is
desperate to save his career which took a hit after he admitted in court
papers that he slept with his Atlanta accuser. His wife is standing by his
side, and she agreed to the divorce announcement since previously leaked
news reports failed to garner any press. On the same day as the divorce
announcement, the singer "liked" an Instagram post by his wife that mentioned
"past failures" and "new opportunity".
Usher/Grace
Miguel
167. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/09
This former teen icon is reportedly carrying a baby and that has her family
worried BIG TIME. They aren’t sure about her relationship partner and
don’t know if she’s still in the right place emotionally and mentally,
especially after a damaging incident a few years ago. Amanda
Byrnes
168.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#1**
Apparently one of the conditions for this foreign born A+ list celebrity
to return to the fold so to speak is that she wanted the leader of the movement
who is a foreign born A- list celebrity to submit to drug tests. The A- lister
refused so the A+ lister walked.
Victoria
"Posh Spice" Beckham/Mel B "Scary Spice" ("Spice Girls")
169.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#2**
This foreign born world's worst actor/part-time reality star is married but
it didn't stop him from getting another woman he is seeing pregnant. This
should work out well.
Dean
McDermott (Tori Spelling)
170.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#3**
Club Fed - Mr. Hedge: This A-list CEO just had a key person leave his company
very abruptly. Very key person. No mention of a successor or transition period.
This is almost unheard of, for that particular position, at such a large
publicly traded company. The very-recently departed employee held the position
closest to some alleged financial wrongdoing. If he has talked to the Feds
- it will all unravel very quickly for this A-list CEO. Then again, almost
every key department head underneath our CEO has jumped in just the last
few months, like rats off a sinking ship. This CEO and his actress ex-girlfriend
were spotted at the same pre-Oscar party. Both the CEO and his ex took a
clear friend as their date, yet avoided the other like the plague the entire
time.
Elon
Musk ("Tesla")/Amber Heard
171.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#4**
This judge was so awful that the show almost had to be redone. The judge?
This A-/B+ list writer/actress who had some time off between projects. Apparently
it was a mess.
Lena
Dunham ("RuPaul’s Drag Race")
172.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#5**
This A list singer might have got hitched while overseas but it probably
comes as news to the guy she has been hooking up with on and off in the same
city for almost six months. I guess that guy just didn't have the quality
of drugs our singer has grown used to and that the person she may have married
does. Katy
Perry/Orlando Bloom
173.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#6**
This one named A list rapper cheated on his B+ list girlfriend. They broke
up but she has no idea about the cheating or it would have been way more
messy.
Common/Angela
Rye
174.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#7**
The drug use is crazy right now for this back in the day former A list mostly
television actress who appeared on two network hits simultaneously until
she gave it all up for a nude scene in a movie. Lisa Bonet ("The Cosby
Show" 1984-1991) ("A Different World" 1987-1989)
175.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#8**
Details, Details - Mr. Hedge: I planned to be finished talking about a certain
almost TV network, then noticed that some readers wanted to know details
behind the almost-TV network’s shady accounting. So here you go. The
almost-TV network takes 4 years to depreciate 90% of the production cost
of their original content. This is not a tightly-kept secret. Their top
executives will answer the question, if an investor bothers to ask them -
or digs through many long, boring financial filings. Think about how a newly
released box-office film gets depreciated, which is about that quickly -
at the end of the box-office and peak on-demand runs. That always happens
within a few months for a typical film, for a massive blockbuster –
a year at most. Sure, the almost-TV network does have their films available
for streaming, so the loss of value doesn’t happen quite as quickly,
as it would for a movie theater film. But it doesn’t take 4 years either.
Not even close. Is watching a 3 year old film worth the same to a subscriber
as a 3 month old film? Of course not. Think about that big recently released
sci-fi film which cost them $100 million. The one critics hate, and most
people think is a lousy film. This applies to the almost-TV network’s
entire film program, which represents the majority of their content spending.
That is how the almost-TV network can burn through mountains of cash, yet
claim they are reporting a profit to their investors. The almost-TV network
told investors back in January that they could throttle back on the record
$3-4 billion of cash they told everyone they would use in 2018. As predicted,
they are already changing their tune. Just last week at an investor conference,
the management admitted that 2018 might not be their "peak burn year" for
cash. Not surprising, considering all the big multi-year commitments the
almost-TV network has been making lately. The good news is that this almost-TV
network is basically burning through $30-40 per year of cash, per U.S.
subscriber. This means they’re not charging subscribers anywhere what
they need to charge, in order to cover all this spending. So enjoy all the
lousy, over-budget films, for as long as the almost-TV network can keep borrowing
more money to finance them. Their new film launching this week was set in
a foreign country, with a completely improbable plot. The studio was glad
to offload this heap of garbage to anyone who would finance production -
after their first 2 choices for both lead actor & director all bailed.
Initially a recently married, foreign-born, full frontal loving actor was
set to play the lead. Several years ago, a former girlfriend accused this
actor of horrible physical abuse. When he bailed, a foreign born A- list
mostly movie actor was tapped. Finally, they ended up with a disgusting B+
list actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee, and is equally as famous
for another entertainment profession. This is the same guy one with a long
list of underage teen hookups.
Almost network: Netflix
Big recently released sci-fi film:
"Mute"
New film:
"The
Outsider"
Disgusting B+ list actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee:
Jared
Leto
Foreign-born, full frontal loving actor/director:
Michael
Fassbender/Daniel Espinosa
Foreign born A- list mostly movie actor/Director:
Tom
Hardy/Takashi Miike
176.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#9**
This closeted, foreign born, married A list multiple reality show star probably
didn't let his newlywed wife know about his hookup with a guy he met online
last week. Jonathan Scott ("Property Brothers") (partner, not wife: Jacinta
Kuznetsov)
177.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#10**
Continuing her long standing tradition of being rude to fans, this former
tweener turned A- list singer not named Selena (who isn't all that great
to her fans either) was at an event this week and refused to take photos
with any fan who asked. These are the same fans she claims to love and wants
to purchase her music.
Demi
Lovato
178.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#11**
This former A list mostly television actor who thought he was too good for
the network show that is still airing without him even though he thought
it would die without him needs rehab for his drinking.
Patrick
Dempsey ("Grey’s Anatomy")
179.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#12**
After demanding a ridiculous raise that she had no chance of landing and
threatening to walk if she didn't get it, this foreign born singer/reality
host ended up taking a 10% salary cut just to be able to stay on the show.
Mel B
("America’s Got Talent")
180.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#13**
I'm pretty sure her otherwise amazingly excellent plastic surgeon went a
little overboard because this former A+ list mostly movie actress who will
probably have A list name recognition forever even if she continues to keep
herself from the acting world couldn't blink. It seems as if she only blinks
once every five or six minutes and it is the most bizarre thing to see.
Demi
Moore
181.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#14**
This former reality star turned A- list singer turned B+ list actress who
is an Academy Award winner/nominee dumped the guy she was seeing while married
and is now seeing a married man who is also hooking up with a foreign born
A- list singer who has a vowel to begin her first name.
Jennifer
Hudson (David Otunga)
182.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#15**
This former A list "singer"/former reality star from a celebrity family has
not been able to sell any of her reality show pitches and can't get any acting
work either. It is not even so much what happened so long ago, it is the
way she was on her last big show where she got fired. No one wants to deal
with that again even if she has changed. She has. Someone should hire her
because she is pretty miserable.
Ashlee
Simpson ("Melrose Place")
183.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/09 **#16**
Justice For A Friend: This is from a friend of mine who wanted to get a little
justice for someone. So, because he can tell it best, I only did a little
light editing. My old friend and long time collaborator #1 is a multiple
Grammy winning producer in Nashville. He wanted to get into working on music
for films and television. His first and to my knowledge only gig like this
(because of his horrible experience) was to be the music producer and supervisor
(of original music) for #2 (an upcoming reboot). Early on the process went
great. He was very excited. Probably more excited than I had ever heard him.
He was in regular contact with #3 (A+ list mostly movie actor), who during
this part of the experience was very excited about the direction he was taking
the music for the project. #1 enlisted many of his top tier friends and
collaborators to write songs for the film. He even brought in an older gentleman,
a songwriting legend from days gone by named #4. #1 hand picked one
of his unsung songs from the 70’s to be a song featured in the movie.
A beautiful song. #4 had lost his only son years back and had basically sold
all his guitars and, in his sadness, had stepped out of music almost all
together. #1 had been a new friend who had given #4 some hope and a new,
pure start. Anyways as time drew near for #1 to go to LA to begin tracking
for the soundtrack, things seemed brighter and brighter. It seemed as if
the music for this film was going to be top notch and really authentic. #1
brought the band he uses to LA to record these songs that he’d curated
for the album and this is where he met #5 (A/A- list singer). From the moment
it began, #5 was unstable. Apparently she was claiming sobriety but gave
off the vibe of someone who was still on the sauce and more. Anyways, she’s
there in the studio with #1 and his band who have worked for months to make
this a reality. Now mind you, #3 has been on board with #1’s vision
from day one and has been excited for where it is all going. The minute they
get in the studio #5 immediately is telling #1 that "nobody buys records
with live drums on them" and is, at every turn, attempting to undermine
#1’s role in all of this. #1 is a sensitive guy. He’s also not
one to fight. So often when battled, he will just take a step back. But in
this case he wanted to stand by his vision which everyone from the studio
to #3 had been on board with. #5 also had her boyfriend there. I won’t
name him because he is someone that I consider a friend, but we aren’t
really that close. Fair weather friend at times I believe. But our families
are tied together closely so I won’t name him here but I’m sure
you can figure it out. Anyways, at every turn, she would turn to him and,
despite his previous stances, he would always defer to her. #3 also did the
same thing when face-to-face with her ire. She would speak to the engineers
and #1’s assembled band and assistant like slaves. Really rude type
s**t. And if someone wasn’t paying attention, she would drop something
and bend over (in the short dress she was wearing) revealing that she was
not wearing any underwear. This would happen multiple times throughout the
day and evening. Then any time someone would disagree with her and agree
with #1, she would burst into aggressive tears and claim misogyny, "that
the world only listens to men and women don’t have a voice". Needless
to say, nothing ever came of the session and #1 went home frustrated and
disappointed. Once #1 returned to Nashville he had calls with the movie studio
and #3 and they agreed to let #1 cut the songs in Nashville with placeholder
vocals in place. It is important to mention as well that #1 had arranged
for the great players who he uses a lot to be in the film. All that paperwork
had been done and it was the plan. He cut some tracks and they were fantastic,
including the #4 track. He sent them all to the studio and they, as well
as #3 again loved it. What happened next? #5 told the studio she was out
unless her boyfriend and his band were in the film instead of #1’s band.
Once they agreed to that, she and her boyfriend went and recorded all the
songs over (including the #4 song). She once again played the "it’s
my way or the highway card on this". #1 was quietly excommunicated from the
project and her tracks and her man’s band was used. The real kicker?
Her and her man took writing credit on poor old #4’s song. There is
a positive note to the original LA story. After the session was over and
#5 and everyone but #1 and the band were gone, #6 (permanent A lister who
has been in one A+ list group and one A++ list group), who had been next
door recording, walked in with two giant bottles of whiskey and said "sounds
like you guys need some relief" and poured them all drinks and took them
all driving in his ultra fast Tesla. I gained some respect for him that day.
But lost all from #5.
#1 - Multiple Grammy winning producer in Nashville:
Dave
Cobb
#2 - An upcoming reboot:
"A
Star Is Born"
#3 - A+ list mostly movie actor:
Bradley
Cooper
#4 - Older gentleman, a songwriting legend from days gone:
Paul
Kennerley
#5 - A/A- list singer/boyfriend:
Lady
Gaga/Lukas Nelson
#6 -Permanent A lister who has been in one A+ list group and one A++ list
group:
Dave
Grohl ("Nirvana" and "Foo Fighters")
184.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#1**
The world's worst ever television actress but not movies, because first of
all no one sane would ever hire her for a movie, and second, we have to reserve
that movie spot for Cara Delevingne was popping pills from a prescription
bottle while also swigging wine. Does not sound like a good combination.
She needs help but everyone just seems obsessed with getting her a new reality
show.
Tori
Spelling
185.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#2**
This B list celebrity/singer/reality star with the catchy nickname is barely
a teen. She is not even in her mid teens yet but is hooking up with a music
producer in his 30's and another guy in his 20's with the consent of her
parents.
Danielle
Bregoli ("Cash Me Ousside")
186.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#3**
Speaking of pills, this pregnant MTV star is self medicating with pills she
acquires from dubious sources. Her doctors have no idea.
Amber
Portwood ("Teen Mom")
187.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#4**
Scatter Like The Wind - Mr. Hedge: The disgraced A list Director has recently
fled to the Middle East. The Producer has recently fled to Europe. The Agent
has recently fled to Mexico. Some of the Director's low level underlings
remain in the country, for now, trying to tie up loose ends, and hide potential
evidence.
A list Director: Bryan Singer
The Producer: Gary Goddard
The Agent: Tyler Grasham
188.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#5**
This closeted NFL player loves when people think he is with women. He lives
for it so people never ask him about the gay rumors and hookups. What he
was not expecting was a video that showed coke and weed and the havoc that
is going to bring.
Odell Beckham
Jr.
189.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#6**
You know, one of these days the A+ list singer and her PR team are going
to get this thing right. Everyone knows the A+ list singer doesn't go anywhere
without a wall of armed security. So, when pictures emerge of her from five
feet away showing her in some kind of way she imagines a relationship to
be from what she has seen in the movies, everyone knows they are staged.
I will give her credit for not doing the piggyback move that she tried for
three consecutive relationships.
Taylor
Swift/Joe Alwyn
190.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#7**
At this point, this witness will do or say anything to get out of the jam
he is in. What kind of jam? How about the largest collection of child porn
the world has ever seen. This foreign national is one of the richest members
of the richest families of the world. For dozens of years he filmed boys
as young as 3 having sex with grown men. There were thousands of these boys
who worked as slaves during the day and then would be forced to have sex
with grown men. All filmed. That slavery practice has ended, but the boys
are still imported from other countries and still raped and it is all still
filmed. The FBI found out about it and now are using its existence to get
him to say whatever they want him to say. Apparently these people are so
rich they have their own "cloud" which is highly encrypted where all these
videos are stored.
George
Nader, top adviser to the United Arab Emirates, was arrested in 1985 on child
pornography charges, is cooperating with the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller
III
191.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#8**
A little known story from the past of this foreign born permanent A list
rocker. The rocker has been married forever. Even so, he has had his affairs.
Despite his high and mighty image he keeps numerous mistresses scattered
around the world for his travels and tours. One of those women was this former
A list mostly movie actress from back in the day. She had trouble getting
roles for awhile after she got in some trouble and our rocker paid her bills
for a couple years while also hooking up with her whenever possible. She
is back on her feet now and had one of the more memorable gifs of the past
couple years.
Bono/Winona
Ryder
192.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#9**
This foreign born former A list model turned B+ list actress who is really
just a celebrity right now is trying to ignore that a family member is also
a drug dealer. A violent one.
Elizabeth
Hurley (nephew Miles Hurley stabbed)
193.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#10**
I don't know how long this new network show is going to last. A mid-season
replacement but the two co-stars dislike each other and were not even trying
to hide the dislike at a press event this week.
Rosie
Perez/Josh Radnor ("Rise")
194.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#11**
This one named singer who doesn't really seem to sing any longer used to
be A/A- list. Now she mainly shops and snorts heroin. She has passed out
in multiple store dressing rooms over the past month. Her celebrity husband
must know, but he hasn't, as far as I know tried to get her into rehab.
Ciara (Russell Wilson)
195.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/10 **#12**
This A list athlete says this married talk show host would not stop hitting
on her this past week when she visited his show. It was nonstop.
Lindsey
Vonn/Mario Lopez
196.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#1**
This former B- list mostly movie actor is doing what he did before. He has
found a not legal teen to "romance." The broke actor is already trying to
broker deals to get her to sleep with men for money. Doug
Hutchison
197.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#2**
Counting down to the next woman that comes forward on this A list almost
television show. There are several who said the streaming company ignored
their claims or dismissed them because the show is such a hit show for the
company.
"Stranger
Things" on Netflix
198.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#3**
Not that long ago this former member of an A+ list singing group who was
a flash in the pan solo artist herself got to be the host of a reality show.
She was awful. Apparently everything took 20 takes and it remained that way
for the entire season. I just think it was something not in her comfort zone.
Since then however, after being fired after that season no one wants to hire
her for anything big. She will be a judge or something overseas, but no hosting.
Fergie ("The Four: Battle for Stardom")
199.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#4**
This A list NBA player does realize that he has been promoting the song of
the woman he calls his girlfriend and that the woman he calls his girlfriend
is sleeping with the person she sings with on the song right?
Ben
Simmons/Tinashe/Offset
200.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#5**
Speaking of NBA players, no matter how much this A++ list NBA player asked,
there was no way on this earth that this permanent A+ list couple were going
to show up at a recent party. Not with that reality star family there en
masse either with visible or hidden cameras.
Lebron
James/Beyoncé and Jay Z (birthday party for Tristan Thompson) (Khloe
Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Kendall Jenner)
201.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#6**
By my count, this A list rapper almost died last week. This weekend he had
a seizure. Maybe get off the drugs.
Rick
Ross
202.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#7**
Considering how this A- list mostly movie actress has been cheating on her
girlfriend as of late, it doesn't surprise me at all that her girlfriend
is returning the favor so to speak. The girlfriend has usually confined her
cheating to men though, rather than women. So, this is probably the end.
Kristen
Stewart/Stella Maxwell (kissing Bella Hadid)
203.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#8**
It is pretty interesting that this A- list mostly movie actor from an acting
family who has been busted for hitting on underage women and harassing others
made the movie he did not that long ago. It turns out the subject of that
movie has a lot in common with the actor. The subject of the movie traveled
the country with the woman he called his wife and they would find teenage
boys after their lecture and ply the boys with booze and weed and then have
threesomes with the teen boys. Eventually, the police started taking note
of their activities so they now hole up on the west coast and even changed
their last name.
204.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#9**
This A-/B+ list model from a modeling/celebrity/reality star family spends
all day going back and forth between her apartment and an ATM and meeting
her drug dealer in between.
Gigi
Hadid
205.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#10**
The B list celebrity offspring of this foreign born permanent A++ lister
said that she once had a group of friends spend the night when she was in
high school. She said she never did it again and never invited any of her
friends over again because her father hit on every single one of the teens
and ended up having sex with one of them that night in the house, while the
significant other of the A++ lister was out to dinner with her own friends.
The offspring says her friend was probably 16 or maybe 17. They have not
spoken since that night which was years ago.
Prince
Andrew, Duke of York (Sarah Ferguson agreed to share custody of their two
daughters, and the Duchess continued to live at the Duke's home, Sunninghill
Park, until 2004)/Princess Beatrice of York (born 1988) or Princess Eugenie
of York (born 1990)
206.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#11**
This A-/B+ list mostly television actress who will get A- list if her new
almost network show does well. It probably won't though if those ratings
stick. Anyway, she needs it to do well because she has been losing movies
left and right. Our actress who is still on the young side of 30 is being
told she looks much older and producers are moving her towards mom roles
already. Mom of tweens.
Lucy Hale
("Life Sentence")
207.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/11 **#12**
It shocks me that no reporter ever has asked this former A- list mostly
television actress from a show which was turned into a movie where her child
is. The child was adopted with much fanfare but has not lived with the actress
for years and years. The actress passed the child off to other relatives
of the actress. Kristen Davis ("Sex and the City")
208. TAMARA
TATTLES 03/11
Once Bethenny Frankel made her fortune pimping Skinny Girl Margaritas everyone
else on reality TV started saying, "I can do that!" And the next thing you
know there are multiple people trying and mostly failing to sell wine. Slapping
your name on a fancy label and serving it at your parties doesn’t make
a successful wine brand. You can sell a few bottles to a few of your devoted
fans on your website, but if you are really making wine you have to get it
in to the major liquor stores. This has been an issue for this reality
participant before. All four people have descended on a major liquor store
chain in Dallas before fighting to keep their wine in the major stores. I
don’t recall how that all worked out in the end, but similar issues
keep recurring. The most recent one happened in Fort Lauderdale when the
foursome insisted on pitching a sommelier from a major restaurant group desperate
to get their wine into the high-end restaurants. According to Tamara Tattles
exclusive sources, the sommelier turned them down because the wine just
isn’t very good. There is a high-end version of the same category of
wine that is a best seller in Fort Lauderdale and the clientele will pick
it every time. Especially since from the perspective of a wine expert, the
wine is overpriced for what it is. The source also explained that most wine
makers have deep enough pockets that they expect to not make a dime selling
their wine for a decade or so. This foursome can’t wait that long and
need to sell a lot of wine very quickly. Our source says They aren’t
used to being told no and didn’t handle it very well. They seem to have
a lot of cash tied up in the wine business that it isn’t turning a profit
and probably never will. And contrary to the image they falsely present,
the desperately need the money for other pressing issues. Yet, they continue
to make risky investments in another risky business that also takes years
to get out of the red. In the wine business, it’s who you know, and
they don’t know anyone. I predict public fall even greater than their
public displays of excess. Bonus points if you can name the wine that is
the more expensive best seller.
Reality star: Lisa Vanderpump
Foursome: Lisa Vanderpump, Ken Vanderpump, Pandora Vanderpump and Jason
Sabo
Product: "LVP Sangria" ($12.99) and "Vanderpump Rose" ($19.99) vs "Whispering
Angel Rose" ($19.47)
Risky business: New restaurant "Tom Tom"
209. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/12
You might have noticed that award season was a little different this year.
Instead of the focus on the films, shows and the performances, the centre
of attention was firmly on the #MeToo movement, industry sexism and female
empowerment. Hollywood might be combating sexism, but it definitely isn’t
stopping calculation any time soon. I’m told many public relations firms
and entertainment industry agents were said to admire the way Nicole Kidman
and Reese Witherspoon handled the situation and felt that the way they delivered
their award speeches was the perfect balance of graceful and meaningful without
ever falling into preachy or entitled territory. Apparently nominated clients
were instructed to "follow Nicole and Reese’s lead" and the vast majority
listened with the exception of this one A list actress, who may or may not
have won the big one. Frances McDormand
210.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#1**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A- list alliteration rapper if you use his real
name was at an after party with his singer girlfriend. The rapper, right
in front of his girlfriend put his hand right on the butt of this B list
celebrity offspring/wannabe model. When the offspring/wannabe model saw who
did it she was fine with it. Apparently the girlfriend was not though and
walked away leaving the rapper and the offspring to get to know each other
better.
Gerald
Gillum (G-Eazy)/Halsey/Hailey Baldwin
211.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#2**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A- list mostly television actress from a long running
hit network show was at an after party and would take whatever food was offered
by servers but immediately just place it down without touching anything.
She likes people to think she is eating, but she eats just enough to stay
alive.
Sarah
Hyland ("Modern Family")
212.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#3**
iHeartRadio Awards: Kind of embarrassing for this closeted A list singer
who seems to be on almost every song on the radio right now to be called
out by a guy at an after party. The guy said something along the lines of,
"I know you." The singer then said thanks for being a fan or something like
that. The guy then said, "No. I know you. You are the guy who was getting
tag teamed by (and then he named two first names) on that house boat party
a few weeks ago in front of everyone." The singer, in front of several people
who might not have known before that conversation he is closeted, went pale
before excusing himself.
Charlie
Puth
213.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#4**
iHeartRadio Awards: This A-/B+ list almost network actress from a very popular
show was not even being shy about what she wanted when she was talking to
a record producer at an after party. She says she charges $20K an hour which
has to be paid upfront. That is probably close to how much she earns per
episode of the show too.
Madelaine
Petsch ("Riverdale")
214.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#5**
iHeartRadio Awards: This foreign born A list DJ/writer/producer was barely
functional at an after party. Everyone assumes it is a relapse of heroin
which has seen him secretly in rehab before.
DJ
Khaled
215.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#6**
iHeartRadio Awards: More than a couple people asked why this B- list mostly
movie actress who only gets that high because of that franchise she did years
ago how she even got invited. She has nothing booked and barely scrapes by
as an "influencer." In her defense, she is much nicer than she used to be
when she was doing a lot of drugs.
Ashley
Greene ("Twilight")
216.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#7**
iHeartRadio Awards: Where are the parents? I know that one of your kids makes
a lot of money so you are more interested in them, BUT, what about your way
underage kid that thinks she is 25 when she is really a decade younger than
that. No one supervising her when she starts smoking pot with five or six
guys at a party and then does some drinking with them. Guys who are in their
late 20's to early 30's. The guy she started making out with while the others
watched. The guy she made plans to see today. There is no way on this earth
that someone that young should be allowed to do any of what she did last
night without at least some adult supervision.
Mackenzie
Ziegler (13)/Maddie Ziegler ("Dance Moms")
217.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#8**
The Mogul And Two Of His Toys - Mr. Hedge: A few years ago, a certain aging
A+ list Mogul (David Geffen) allegedly
traveled a considerable distance, to meet up with a far younger man he had
been dating. The young man was a college athlete
(Jamie Kuntz (North Dakota State College of
Science)), in a very high-profile sport. The Mogul was allegedly
caught with this young man in a very embarrassing situation, at a very
inappropriate time, in a less than private place. This college is located
in a very conservative part of the country, and it caused quite a scandal.
The whole thing went downhill for both parties pretty soon afterwards. It
was revealed that the Mogul met this young man while he was barely legal,
on a website for that sort of thing. I use the term "allegedly", because
recently, it appears as though the Mogul has been somewhat successful at
getting the 1st part of the story changed, from what was reported at the
time - to cover his exposure. The 2nd part of the story went through the
court system on a couple occasions, which meant that part could not be controlled
so easily. Almost 2 decades ago, the Mogul invested as a minority partner
in a certain entertainment company
("DEN"),
which was basically a front to get underage boys drugged and raped. 3 young
men sued the main operators of this entertainment company for being drugged
and raped while underage. They won a court judgement, but sadly got next
to nothing, as the company operators had fled the country. About a year before
he fled the country, the Head Criminal
(Marc
Collins-Rector) at this company got into a legal dispute with the
Mogul. Court documents revealed 1 of those 3 young men was an aspiring Actor,
who left the entertainment company - to go and stay at the Mogul’s house.
Around the same time, this Actor
(Alexander
Burton (John Allerdyce/Pyro "X-Men")) was given a small part in a
film, made by a certain A- list Director (Bryan Singer). The part, as
constructed, didn’t really fit in that particular film's story - but
nobody cared. Of course, our Actor never had a credit in anything else, before
or since. Our Actor never included the Mogul or the Director in any legal
action. After this all happened, the Actor changed his name and basically
disappeared. Once, in recent years, he briefly reappeared to help the Director
defend a lawsuit he was facing.
David
Geffen/Jamie Kuntz/"DEN"/Marc-Collins Rector/Alexander Burton/Bryan Singer
(Alleged
Bryan Singer Associate Was Sued In 2000 For Sexual Abuse By X-Men Actor)
(David
Geffen takes out restraining order against his '20-year-old former college
football player ex after ending affair')
218.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#9**
Our favorite former Disney actress turned B/B+ list mostly movie actress
turned future porn star needs rehab. She is in really bad shape.
Bella
Thorne
219.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#10**
It's shocking to me how many people believe this B list actor/wannabe
singer/former boytoy to his former boss and the A- list director think he
is dating this foreign born A- list mostly movie actress. She is totally
on board for it because she needs a boost of publicity to make her marketable
again.
Chord
Overstreet (Ryan Murphy)/Emma Watson
220.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#11**
This former C list celebrity/reality star/killer makes his living now pimping
out his girlfriends.
Nick
Gordon
221.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#12**
This boy bander/actor is still way under age. He says this B+ list actress
on a show which he appeared on when he was even younger than he is now would
have sex with him each time he was on the show. Brady Tutton ("Boy
Band")/Chelsey Crisp ("Fresh Off the Boat")
222.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#13**
This foreign born former A list singer in a group turned frequent reality
judge went ballistic on one of her housekeepers the other day because the
housekeeper complained about one of the singer's children making fun of the
accent of the housekeeper. The singer was having none of it and yelled at
the housekeeper about respecting your employers and then fired her. Mel
B
223.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#14**
This former A list mostly television actor all of you know who has had some
middling network success but nothing like his biggest generational hit is
struggling financially. No one is hiring him and he took some big loans in
anticipation of a syndication deal that never materialized.
224.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#15**
This A+ list mostly movie actor is on a 3 or 4 day booze and pot bender right
now. He made no sense at a panel he was on and skipped two others because
he would even look more foolish.
Matthew
McConaughey ("2018 SXSW Film Festival")
225.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/12 **#16**
Guess The Athlete - Double Dose
#1: Guess the athlete time again. Real sport. Big sport. World stage level
sport. One of the dirtiest sports out there. Has been for some time and still
is today. If you do not cheat, you simply have no chance to win in this sport.
And if you do not cheat, that means you simply do not WANT to win in this
sport!! Well, not always it seems.... Our athlete today is one of the most
genetically gifted athletes walking the Earth today. Our athlete was not
expected to get this far in their sport. But they are approaching their prime
and they are just getting better. They are not a household name, but two
years from now, they will be. Our athlete is both feared and respected by
their opponents. Feared because their career is starting to approach the
phase of going from chasing records, to setting records. Possibly some very,
very big ones. Records their teammates and opponents have no chance to beat.
And respected because they are one of the rare athletes who are respected
by most of their peers and teammates for starting to become the best in the
sport... all the while doing it cleanly. Being a good athlete, though, does
not make you a household name. But doing so with an incredibly charming,
yet humble personality, and great looks does. This athlete hit the genetic
lottery there too. Some of you may have heard of this athlete or may be able
to figure out who this athlete is. Two years from now you will all know this
athlete. And your children will too. They will want to BE this athlete.
Tori
Bowie
#2: One of the all time greats is how this athlete is described. This athlete is retired, but alive. The sport is one of the biggest sports in certain parts of the world, if not the biggest. And within this sport, our athlete is a big name. Not the biggest, but still big. Strangely though, unlike other athletes mentioned, this athlete wasn’t very gifted in the genetics department. Even on paper, there wasn’t anything, any metric that would even be considered average within their sport. Certainly no drugs were used to get ahead. This athlete looked more like a high school science teacher than an athlete at their peak. Today, they would more closely resemble a truck driver if you saw them in person. So how exactly did they dominate their sport for so long? We’ll answer that in a second. This sport has been a breeding ground for cheating since its inception. Heck, Arguably the BIGGEST case of cheating in sports EVER happened within this sport. But as the sport grew and the ways to cheat were discovered, rules were made. Lots of rules. There was one rule that was made a long, long time ago about a very specific ways to cheat. There was a specific incident that lead to this rule change. This rule was made before anyone reading this was even born. This rule is heavily enforced to this day. Yet our athlete broke this rule every day in their career and not until their later career did anyone even suspect anything. Athletes in this sport today ask the athlete how they did it and how they never got caught. The athlete will simply just coyly wink and slyly say "there’s no cheating in this sport, haven’t you heard?". Gary Maddux (Cliff Floyd accuses Greg Maddux throwing spitball)
226. TAMARA
TATTLES 03/13
This reality show participant (RSP) just returned home on a cross-country
flight with a couple of travel companions. After enjoying a few cocktails,
RSP had a problem. You see, RSP is claustrophobic and refuses to use an airplane
bathroom. We’re sure RSP probably thought of peeing in cup in RSP’s
first class seat, but that plan didn’t seem feasible with all the attention.
Whatever would RSP do? When RSP could not hold it anymore, RSP went into
the bathroom and emptied the bladder while one of RSP’s travel companions
guarded the open door. This seems to be a new low in RSP’s travel
companion’s list of duties.
Kim
Zolciak Biermann (husband Kroy)
227.
POPBITCH
03/13
(British blog)
#MeToo has been the talk of awards season this year – but which unwanted
dick pic sender is a hot favourite to walk away with a prize at tonight's
Press Awards?
228.
VARIETY/"GAME
OF THRONES" 03/13
BY Debra Birnbaum
The final season of "Game of Thrones" will not disappoint, promise HBO executives
who recounted being at the table read for the last few episodes. "It was
a really powerful moment in our lives and our careers," said Francesca Orsi,
HBO SVP of drama, who took part in a panel titled "The Best of HBO" at the
INTV Conference in Israel. "None of the cast had received the scripts prior,
and one by one they started falling down to their deaths." In discussing
"Game of Thrones" during the session, Orsi said that at the table read of
the final six scripts ("a dream opportunity," she said), everyone stood up
and applauded for 15 to 20 minutes. "It was amazing," she said of the episodes,
which will air in 2019. "By the very end, everyone looked down and looked
up and tears were in their eyes." The network execs revealed they hope to
continue the magic with the potential spinoffs, which Orsi promised will
live up to the original. "It feels like corporate malfeasance to not continue
it," said Orsi. "That’s why it spawned three, four, five spinoffs,"
adding that "we’re going big."
229. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/13
Summer is only a few months away and that means the box office is gearing
up to take money in like it’s going out of fashion. A source informs
me that I shouldn’t expect this BIG NAME movie to make any money, however,
saying that it’s "a certified bomb at this point" and we should witness
the people behind the movie trying to mitigate the damage in the near future.
"Solo:
A Star Wars Story"
230.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#1**
At some point, the feds are going to take notice of this one named
rapper/producer/reality star. He recently flew out of state with a 16 year
old female who he has been trying to pass off as 18.
231.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#2**
This A- list comedian/sometime actress/sometime host/frequent drinker always
forgets to tell people that it was a drunken make out session with the
significant other of her best friend that caused a fallout. Chelsea
Handler/Jennifer Aniston (Justin Theroux)
232.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#3**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor who is a permanent chain smoker
and an Academy Award winner/nominee not only had an epic amount of coke,
but also a young actress that this A- list mostly movie actress was in lust
with, so she went home with them both.
Sean
Penn/Amber Heard
233.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#4**
I used to think it was just drugs, but it is so much more for this former
A+ list tweener. He told his celebrity girlfriend she was going to Hell if
she stopped sleeping with who he told her to sleep with.
Justin
Bieber/Selena Gomez
234.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#5**
This A list mostly movie actress who had a great television year went on
a rant after a dog snapped at her on set. The actress said the dog nearly
bit her face off when the dog was a good five feet from her when it happened.
She was freaked out and refused to work the rest of the day.
Nicole
Kidman (filming movie: "The Goldfinch"/Popper, Maltese puppy)
235.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#6**
This alliterate former singer turned television actress was telling friends
that things are on the rocks with the guy she is supposed to marry.
Mandy
Moore/Taylor Goldsmith
236.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#7**
They are trying to ignore it, but there were several times already where
this A list singer showed up wasted to a reality gig.
Katy Perry
("American Idol")
237.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#8**
This B- list celebrity all of you know, but probably don't spend a lot of
time thinking about is more famous for the guys she dates and what she chooses
to wear in public rather than much of anything else. Yes, there was the briefest
of brief reality shows but she is all about the pap pics and controversy
to stay in the spotlight. Apparently she took some bath salts this week and
literally destroyed her house with a baseball bat. There was a female friend
of hers who was there when it started to happen and scooped up the child
of the celebrity and ran from the house as quickly as possible. Apparently
the celebrity started chasing them out of the house and smashed two front
windows with the bat before going back inside and doing more damage. Some
guys who work for one of her exes were called and they managed to get in
the house and wrestle her to the ground and put plastic ties on her wrists
while listening to her scream at them for hours until she finally passed
out. Tila Tequila; Amber Rose; Blac Chyna
238.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#9**
Over on Free Gay Chat Now there is a person claiming to be a B lister on
Nick who is wrapping up a long run on a hit television show there. If this
actor is who he says he is, then he has a nice upcoming project on an outlet
that has been spreading cash like crazy. He says he is openly gay in life,
but has not publicly come out. Hmmm. Sounds more like someone catfishing.
Because of his confusing answer to whether he is out or not, I won't give
out his user name, but I bet someone will post it in the comments. Real or
catfish?
Tony
Cavalero (Dewey Finn "School of Rock") (Ozzy Osbourne in Netflix’s
Mötley Crüe Biopic "The Dirt");
Jack
Griffo (Max Thunderman "The Thundermans") ("Alexa & Katie")
239.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#10**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who is a multiple Oscar
winner/nominee tried to charge the tug on his rub and tug. He should know
better. You can charge the massage, but you always have to pay cash to the
woman doing the sex act.
Ralph
Fiennes
240.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#11**
The night always sounds amazing and he prizes being bid on are phenomenal.
The problem for the charity is that well over half of the people bidding,
never pay up. They like to look important and rich and that they can afford
to bid $1M on something. The thing is though, they never usually write a
check or if they do, it bounces. The charity, run by an A+ list mostly movie
actor doesn't seem to care though because he likes the buzz of being the
host.
"Leonardo
DiCaprio Foundation"
241.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#12**
Our favorite drinking cable actor and his never ending love life has a new
installment. So, he goes to film his reality show out of the country. His
foreign born actress girlfriend was only a few hours behind him. Apparently
though that few hours allowed him to escape to a different city to actually
film. The next day he arrived back from filming and met up with that co-star
he hooks up with on the sly. Where was the girlfriend? She hung out in a
hotel lobby for 12 hours waiting for him to show. He didn't show back up
to the hotel at all that night and spent the night where? It is looking like
with his co-star. They traveled to another city together while the girlfriend
went home alone.
Norman
Reedus ("Ride with Norman Reedus")/Diane Kruger/Melissa McBride (Walker Stalker
Con Europe: London)
242.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#13**
This club in the Southwest has become the latest business to think more about
their bottom line than the fact they are paying a convicted child porn creator
to perform. The convicted child porn creator who is being investigated for
other child porn related crimes is a B list rapper.
6ix9ine
(Summit
Rooftop Lounge)
243.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#14**
He is doing everything he can and selling off everything he can to pay for
medical treatment, but he is also putting his affairs in order. Too much
damage to that body over the years and this former A+ list mostly television
actor who had a run as an A lister in movies before that is dying. His doctors
don't think he can live beyond a year. I think it is going to be a lot less.
I hope before he passes though that he sits down and lets himself be interviewed
for 20-30 hours just to get all his stories and truths and everything out
so we aren't left with a million questions.
Charlie
Sheen
244.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#15**
The only growing apart this celebrity couple did was that one is trying to
get sober and one isn't. Calling it anything else is just wrong. The celebrity
couple consists of a former A list boy bander and his B list celebrity
girlfriend.
Zayn
Malik/Gigi Hadid
245.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/13 **#16**
The Club - Old Hollywood: The Club actually has a name, but if I gave you
the name of the club, this would be much easier to solve. Part of the fun
with this is discovering the club and everything it has done and everything
it owns. Many members of the club donate their entire estate to the club.
This can include all their personal films and photos from sets. There are
diaries and scripts. They are a treasure trove of many of the early days
of Hollywood right through and including the studio years and on in to the
70's. The club has faded over time. No longer active as a social club, it
is just a person or two keeping alive the memory of what was one of the building
blocks for the acting profession we see today. Without this club, the business
of acting would be completely different. Now, the name of the club is all
well and good, but what the club received about five or six years ago in
an estate has finally been unearthed. With just a couple volunteers and not
much time to work on this stuff each week, it can take months or even years
to go through everything left by an actor or actress to the club. Such is
the case with this estate. It was massive in size in the sense of the artifacts.
Included in the artifacts were many reels of film from the early 40's. Volunteers
assumed they were home movies or something similar. Until very recently,
they were pushed to the side as other items were easier to mark and catalog.
Sitting through all that film and figuring out the who and what and where
and when was going to take forever. The artifacts were from an agent who
also produced theatre. He produced two of the biggest Broadway musicals of
the time and at least one of them all of you know and have seen it, but probably
not on stage. He did some great television and award winning movies. He also
liked to get married. A lot. He also produced some children from those marriages
who basically seemed to have been involved with a who's who of Hollywood
and a book has been made about just how crazy this entire family dynamic
was and who was involved and the offspring. Anyway, our agent/producer fell
in love with a married woman. That married woman was known by everyone in
society at the time. One of her divorces occurred because she hooked up with
that permanent A list crooner that so many other women hooked up with too.
She was the muse of several permanent A list authors, including one of the
most famous authors of all time. It was that relationship that produced these
films. They were apparently shot on a Caribbean island. They featured the
author and the socialite having sex. Yes, basically X rated films of two
very important people, including arguably one of the top ten authors in the
history of the US. The films also feature them as a couple with much much
younger women. The films are old and it is tough to make out ages. This was
decades ago with no thought to preservation. So, the club faces a quandary.
They have hours of footage of one of the most famous people in the history
of the country, but 95% of the film is him having sex with a socialite or
with other teens and the socialite.
The Club:
The
Masquers Club
Agent/Producer:
Leland
Hayward (wives Inez "Lola" Gibbs,
Margaret
Sullavan, Slim Hawks and Pamela Harriman)
Clients: Fred Astaire, James Stewart, Ernest Hemingway, Boris Karloff, Judy
Garland, Ginger Rogers, as well as the two former husbands of wife Margaret
Sullavan, Henry Fonda and William Wyler, Greta Garbo and Katharine Hepburn
Broadway productions:
"Gypsy",
"The Sound of Music", "Mister Roberts", "South Pacific"
Who’s Who author: Marriage to stage and screen actress Margaret Sullavan,
formerly married to Henry Fonda, in 1936. They had three children: Brooke,
born July 5, 1937, who was married to actor Dennis Hopper from 1961–69;
Bridget (1939–1960), who committed suicide by overdose in October 1960,
less than a year after her mother's death by overdose; and William, born
1941, who committed suicide March 20, 2008, by shooting himself
in the heart. The family's dysfunctional life was recounted in daughter Brooke's
1977 memoir,
"Haywire"
Socialite:
Nancy "Slim" Keith, Lady Keith
A list crooner: Frank Sinatra
Author: Ernest Hemingway
246. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/14
She was warning about him before they got together, but did she listen? No,
she didn’t. Several sources tell me that this hot relationship ended
because the female part issued an ultimatum to the male part, telling him
to get off drugs or he’ll lose her and he’ll lose her for good.
He agreed… at first, but it didn’t last long before he was puffing
away and chasing his demons. To her credit and to the surprise of many people
around her, she made good on her promise and has left. For how long, though?
We’ll be watching. Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik
247.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#1**
A night of partying does not a relationship make, but this former tweener
turned adult singer who is seemingly a blind once every couple weeks is still
trying to find the right guy. A guy who doesn't care she likes women more
than men and a guy who also has great drugs. Oh, and he has to be a celebrity
who will get her picture in the tabloids a lot. She found the right guy in
this foreign born singer except he rarely goes out which means not very many
tabloid photos and just a bunch of leaked stories.
Demi
Lovato/Zayn Malik
248.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#2**
At least two tabloids have been offered screenshots and texts and even some
sexts between this one year reality wonder and at least one of his exes that
were sent long after he picked someone. So far the price has been too high,
but with rejection comes the lowering of the price, so it won't be long.
Arie
Luyendyk Jr. ("The Bachelor")/Lauren Burnham
(list
of his ex’s)
249.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#3**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor has been in some of the biggest
films of all time. He has had some great runs on quality television shows
and can even do comedy. I'm shocked he doesn't have even more awards than
he has. Anyway, it appears the woman he has been seeing regularly since he
and his actress wife split is a woman he hired one night as an escort and
one night became two and now they are pretty happy with each other.
Martin
Freeman
250.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#4**
Don't believe the hype. The only man this A+ list mostly movie actress is
hooking up with is that married U.N. higher up. Now, if an actress came her
way, she would be very open to it because she gets bored with the nannies.
Angelina
Jolie/Garrett Hedlund
251.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#5**
I'm not going to use her usual identifier because this is a little more how
shall we say, intriguing. This former child actress turned middling adult
actress who doesn't act very much any longer but still has good name recognition
wanted to marry a guy. She got a passport in that country and did everything
possible to show she was serious about the relationship. He decided to marry
someone else and they were within weeks of doing just that. Well, apparently
our actress has been trying for a while to break them up. Planting stories
about him or her to create a wedge. Well, now it looks like there is a permanent
split with no chance ever they will reunite or speak again. The reasons for
that are very suspicious. It does make one wonder.
Lindsay
Lohan
(Turkish
socialite and business heir Mina Basaran/Murat Gezer)
252.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#6**
This one named actress/singer went on a rampage directed at her management
team that they did not land her the part that felt destined to play. The
thing is though, she was never on the radar of the producers and wasn't who
they were looking for anyway.
Brandy/Gabrielle
Dennis playing Whitney Houston in "The Bobby Brown Story"
253.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#7**
This former A+ list mostly movie actress is an Academy Award winner/nominee.
Now, she pretty much just confines her acting to one role in a franchise
which pays her a ridiculous sum of money for not doing much. She has a side
gig. She also does a lot of day drinking. This week at a business meeting
she had done some day drinking and did some more drinking at the business
meeting and she was messy by the end.
Gwyneth
Paltrow (Pepper Potts "Iron Man")/"GOOP"
254.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#8**
Athlete Investor - Mr. Hedge: This recently retired former A+ list athlete
is off to a very shaky start at his new big venture. The whole thing is going
to be an epic disaster. He set the whole thing up to be a heads-I-win-big
and tails-I-break-even scenario for himself. As someone who has seen the
inner workings of the deal - his investors will see most of their money gone,
within just a few years. Our athlete has far less of his own financial skin
in the game, than what the public has been led to believe.
Athlete/Team:
Derek Jeter ("Miami Marlins")
255.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#9**
This former child/tween/teen actress turned reality star turned celebrity
needs rehab again. At this point, she really should commit to a good six
months there to try and get better once and for all.
Kim
Richards ("Real Housewives of Beverly Hills")
256.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#10**
Apparently this former A list rockstar spoke to this B+ list singer on the
phone right after a soundcheck on that last afternoon of his life. The singer
says she accidentally recorded the 20 minute phone call because she had been
taking videos at the time of the call. She only noticed about three weeks
ago and she says it answers some questions, but also opens up a bunch more.
Chris
Cornell/Taylor Momsen (What's interesting to me is he could have probably
spoken to her in person that afternoon rather than on the phone. Why did
he do that?)
257.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#11**
A little tension this week at a party when our favorite foreign born B+ list
singer/actress ran into this A+ list reality star. Apparently the reality
star blames the singer/actress for getting a family member hooked on drugs
and made that clear at the event.
Rita Ora/Kim
Kardashian (brother Rob Kardashian) (Lorraine Schwartz launches The Eye Bangle
a new addition to her signature Against Evil Eye Collection)
258.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#12**
It is all coming together now for me. I could never understand why this foreign
born Victoria' Secret model was hooking up with the permanent A list old
songwriter/producer every month or so. I assumed she was hard up for cash.
She might be, but it turns out she is hooking up with the old guy in return
for him helping out with the career of her boyfriend. Apparently he is actually
helping too and not just having sex with her.
259.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#13**
This A- list mostly movie actor from an acting family made short work of
an interview when the first question was about someone in his acting family.
The actor got up and walked out.
Dave Franco
(James Franco) ("6 Balloons" Premiere - 2018 SXSW Conference and
Festivals)
260.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#14**
The arguments between these two permanent A list mostly movie actresses who
are each Oscar winners/nominees got so bad, that the script had to be slightly
changed so the two wouldn't have to work on as many scenes together.
Cher/Meryl
Streep ("Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again")
261.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#15**
This offspring of a foreign born A list celebrity is banned from a ride sharing
app after yelling at a driver about trying to talk to the offspring. Basically
it was an entitled, privileged I am better than you thing and you just need
to stay quiet and drive. It apparently was crazy.
262.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/14 **#16**
P's Friends: There is a behind the scenes power player in Hollywood, who
was on a blind earlier this year. Let’s stick with calling him P. P
once represented a former A– list teen star who you all know, during
the early years of his career. However, there is no reason to think this
former 80’s star is one of P’s victims. While he has been in the
news a great deal lately for reasons other than his acting, our former star
does return to the big screen soon. About a month from now, he stars in a
small-budget crime thriller, as a vicious, cross-dressing vampire. Back in
the day, a little over 3 decades ago, one of P’s close work friends
happened to be a notorious child-molesting photographer, who also dabbled
in child pornography. Let’s call this photographer B. Around this time,
another of P’s close work friends was another long-time serial pedophile.
He was called NS in a prior blind, and you all know him. NS was an acting
manager. P, B, and NS all had clients in common, through referrals from one
to the other. Their businesses at the time were not in competition with one
another – but rather complimentary. It was not unusual for P, B, NS,
and a couple clients to all hang out in the same place together. Back in
the late 70s, B was first brought to the attention of the LAPD. It wasn’t
until about a decade later that he was finally caught in a nationwide child
porn sting, along with several others. B fought the charges, and escaped
on a technicality during the appeals process. Despite this, B was welcomed
right back to Hollywood. B began branching out as talent manager and coach.
B managed a certain young actor, starting when he was barely a teen. This
young actor had big promise, and quickly began getting a lot of work.
Unfortunately, this young actor quickly spiraled down the path of substance
abuse, and died of a drug overdose before he turned 25. B was accused of
child porn a little over a decade and a half ago, but he struck a plea deal.
B pled to a misdemeanor, and got probation. A few years later, one of B’s
clients went to the police. He was barely a teen at the time, and got B convicted
for molesting him. B finally served a few years in jail. What did P know
about his friends, and when did he know it? How long did he remain friends
with them?
P:
Jeff
Ballard
Former Star:
Corey
Feldman
Film Coming Soon: Queeny "Nash Corbin"
B:
Bob
Villard
Deceased Actor:
Christopher
Pettiet
NS:
Marty
Weiss
263. JENNIFER
LOPEZ/HARPER’S BAZAAR 03/15
Jennifer Lopez was asked to go topless at an audition for one of her first
movies. The 48-year-old Latin singer, who has appeared films including; Out
of Sight, Monster-in-Law, Maid in Manhattan and The Wedding Planner, as well
as enjoying a successful music career. And with the Time’s Up campaign
against sexual harassment the talk of the entertainment industry at the moment,
Jennifer paused to reflect on her own experiences. "I haven’t been abused
in the way some women have. But have I been told by a director to take off
my shirt and show my boobs? Yes, I have. But did I do it? No, I did not,"
she shared in an interview with
Harper’s
Bazaar U.S. "When I did speak up, I was terrified. I remember my
heart beating out of my chest, thinking, ‘What did I do? This man is
hiring me!’ It was one of my first movies. But in my mind I knew the
behaviour wasn’t right. It could have gone either way for me." "But
I think ultimately the Bronx (where Jennifer was born) in me was like,
‘Nah, we’re not having it,’" she smiled, crediting her New
York upbringing for giving her the strength to say no. The Jenny from the
Block hitmaker also delivered a powerful speech in support of the Time’s
Up movement in Puerto Rico earlier this year, and is pleased she now possesses
a confidence in herself that wasn’t there early in her career. "When
I was younger I spent a lot of time being half happy and half not happy,"
admitted Jennifer, who released her debut album On the 6 in 1999. "(Now)
I know who I am and what I want. I also know my strengths and weaknesses.
It took me a long time to get to a point where I could say something nice
about myself. I’m glad I can do that now." Joseph Ruben ("Money
Train")
264.
POPBITCH
03/15
(British blog)
Which reality TV star is using daddy's money to stop tabloids running stories
about their fairly unsubtle coke habit? Threats of a high court injunction
have already been tabled, but their willingness to take selfies with 'fans'
outside the very bogs that they'd just been hoofing gak in might blow a hole
in their case...
Millie
Mackintosh
(drug
use)
265. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/15
Apparently a member of this ensemble cast has gained credible information
that their co-star was a popular and known escort in Europe before their
casting on the show. ‘It may come out on the show,’ a source warns
me, ‘but the network might not air it because of lawsuits.’
Brandi
Glanville and her father, Guy ("Real Housewives of Beverly
Hills")
266.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#1**
I think what caught everyone surprised by this very recent A list rapper's
big news is that until at least a month ago she was partying really hard
still and even did a night of drinking shots until she passed out.
Cari
B
(pregnant)
267.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#2**
This MTV star was in town yesterday and her significant other is now going
to have to find a different place to get the special drugs he can only get
here. Why? Well, he found out his significant other hooked up with the dealer
a few times and tried to start a fight with the dealer who promptly pulled
out a gun along with several of his associates. So, for now, no more drugs.
Jenelle
Evans/David Eason ("Teen Mom 2") (LAX)
268.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#3**
No one is telling the real story. The real story is that this former child
actor/rapper made a pass on this A list rapper when he thought the other
rapper was into guys. Nope.
Bow
Wow/Future (punched by Nigerian rapper, Cheeks
Bossman)
269.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#4**
This former B- list celebrity/reality star is now more known for all the
trouble he gets in. He keeps promising his significant other they will get
a reality show and make money and be famous which is why she stays despite
being threatened with the end of her life.
Nick
Gordon/Laura Leal
270.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#5**
This A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee and
taking flack for her last movie is trying to make sure this former A list
mostly television actor turned movie/commercial/television/no underwear wearing
actor doesn't get the lead opposite her because she thinks the movie will
bomb. She is convinced he is bad luck when it comes to movies.
Natalie
Portman/Jon Hamm ("Pale Blue Dot")
271.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#6**
He is supposed to stay home alone or just hang out with family when he is
not with this A+ list singer for precisely the reason that I am writing this.
He hooked up with a guy in the past two weeks who he met on Grindr. One misstep
and the carefully laid plans of the A+ lister would go out the window.
Joe
Alywn/Taylor Swift
272.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#7**
This A- list reality star with a side gig says she is dating this A list
athlete. Hmmmm. First of all he is hooking up with his ex on a regular basis
and there is a woman in a new town where he is living he sees several times
a week, but yes, please continue to tell us you are dating him so your story
seems more believable.
Kendall
Jenner/Blake Griffin
273.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#8**
Back in the day this actor was probably B+ list at his peak. He comes from
an acting family. He made some money in the past decade working on movies
overseas. They are usually more willing to deal with his substance abuse
issues and he still does good work and is a big draw overseas. In a "stan"
country not that long ago, our actor was wasted and was with an escort when
he ended up beating her to the point she was in a coma. The production company,
wanting to protect their investment got him out of the country and then did
a week of filming in the neighboring country. It was not until the film was
finished that they spoke to police and told them their version of events
while making sure the actor stayed out of the country. The woman is out of
her coma but is apparently permanently disabled because of the attack.
Michael
Madsen ("Diamond Cartel") filmed in Kazakhstan
274.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#9**
This one named B- list DJ has been accused by multiple underage women of
rape and sexual assault. It doesn't seem to matter to that monster booking
agency and another they partner with for an annual tour. They are leaving
the DJ on the bill. Money means more to them than anything else.
Datsik
275.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#10**
Apparently that foreign born A- list mostly movie actress reads the site.
Just a few short hours after my last blind about her relationship she posted
a video aimed at that cable actor boyfriend of hers. She also started deleting
and blocking anyone on her social media who mentioned the name of his
co-star/sometime hookup. As for our actor? He spent that day and the next
posting selfies with his co-star/sometime hookup.
Diane
Kruger/Norman Reedus (Melinda McBride) in Scotland
276.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#11**
This daytime talk show host better get back to work quickly because producers
have noticed audience reaction and the higher ratings with her replacement.
Wendy
Williams/Jerry 'Connell
277.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#12**
This wife beater, abuser, former A lister at least is honest that his
relationship with his girlfriend is based on money and how much he pays her
to be with him. I guess she is young enough to kick his ass if he tries to
hit her. Maybe he should try to apologize to his offspring for beating their
mother. Don
McLean/Paris
Dylan/Patrisha
McLean
278.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#13**
This A+ list singer is freaking out that she cast a gay porn star in a recent
music video.
Taylor
Swift/Kevin Falk
279.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#14**
Apparently, that new organ is not working so well for that A-/B+ lister because
of the abuse it has taken and she may actually need a replacement for the
replacement. How about just changing your life rather than getting ones that
other people would love to have and cherish.
Selena
Gomez
280.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#15**
This foreign born A+ list athlete in his corner of the athletic world has
already been hitting on male models and telling them about his new fashion
gig. This gig is going to get him in some serious trouble.
Lewis
Hamilton (Tommy Hilfiger)
281.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#16**
Just Stand Up - Mr. Hedge: This company saw their stock tank after causing
a mighty controversy. The company somehow didn't screen out an advertisement,
which made fun of a very high profile domestic violence incident involving
a major celebrity. The celebrity was understandably enraged upon learning
of this - and responded by urging a boycott of the company. Others have piled
on as well. Was this simply an unlucky accident for this company? Alternatively,
was the cash-guzzling, thirsty company simply desperate for more revenues,
and purposefully lax on its advertising content filters?
Rihanna
("Snapchat" Domestic Abuse Ad)
282.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/15 **#17**
The Showrunner From Hell: This showrunner/creator had one big hit but it
allowed him to create some pilots and at least one middling hit. At least
one death I attribute to him. He cast her when she had just turned 13 or
14. She talked about him when she was using drugs but never when she was
sober. She says that when he walked in for the casting for the soon to be
hit network show that he asked her if she wanted the part. She said yes.
He then told her lots of other girls wanted the part. He then coerced her
into undressing saying that all the other girls had and she didn't have to
but she wouldn't get the job. This ended up with her being sexually assaulted
by him. She says he did so over 100 times during the run of the show. She
talked about how he took her with him when he was casting a show that didn't
even last a season. One person cast in the show was a woman in her early
20's who has her own slate of horror stories about things that have happened
to her. Anyway, she was told if she wanted the job she had to sleep with
the then 14 year old girl while our showrunner watched. She did it. She was
so disgusted by that and what happened to her a couple years later when she
was a guest star on a very hit network show and raped by at the time an A
list mostly television actor who in the past year has been accused of it
again and a guest star on another very hit network show and raped by at the
time an A- list mostly television actor on the show who has also been accused
of similar behavior by other women that she left the business. Going back
to our teen, she then became the "older woman" so to speak when the showrunner
took her along on the casting for a middling network show. The showrunner
made our teen have sex with a girl who was maybe seven or eight at the time.
Our teen doesn't know if the showrunner ever had sex with the girl and she
isn't talking or hasn't yet. She left the business right after appearing
on a show which was created solely for the purpose of casting as many children
as possible in one show for adults to molest and that they did for years.
That is another blind though. As for our teen? She got pregnant by the showrunner
and was fired for it. She was never allowed to reveal to her child who his
real dad was.
Actress:
Dana
Plato
Showrunner:
Bernie
Kukoff
Hit network show:
"Diff'rent
Strokes"
Show that didn’t last a season:
"Detective
School"
Woman in her 20‘s:
Melinda
Naud
Guest star on hit network show/A list actor:
"Dukes
of Hazzard"/Tom Wopat
Guest star on hit network show/A- list actor:
"Happy
Days"/Scott Baio
Horror story:
Paternity
suit against Wayne Rogers ("Mash") who died before dna could be taken
Seven year old:
Heidi
Zeigler (born 1979)
Show created for casting children:
"Just
the Ten of Us"
283. MEDIA
TAKEOUT 03/16
MediaTakeOut.com just got a bit of tea that’s JUICY . . . But also very
heartbreaking. There have been rumors going around that a popular entertainer
is PREGNANT – but the entertainer is REFUSING to confirm it. Well, we
just spoke to one of her GFs who told us, "[Entertainer] doesn’t want
to say anything, because she’s not sure she’s keeping it." The
insider added, "[Her boyfriend] wants her to kill the baby. He thinks its
bad for her career and his. But she’s trying to get him to change his
mind." Could this be Cardi B? We have no idea who it is, but many are speculating
that the "Bodak Yellow" star is expecting and could even be as far along
as 6 months. She claims that she "just gained some weight." There were also
rumors of Rihanna possibly being pregnant following her performance at the
Grammy’s. Rihanna was noticeably rounder and was much slower on her
feet than usual. Rihanna suffered from fluctuating weight, so some are just
attributing it to that… but, a pregnancy wouldn’t be far-fetched.
She’s been in a loving relationship with her billionaire bf for some
time now. Nicki Minaj is also rumored to be pregnant with Nas’ baby.
But we doubt this rumor could be about her. She’s been out of the limelight
for some months now. A few more won’t hurt her. Who do you think it
is?
Cardi
B/Offset
284.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **1**
There is more to it than just being Team one person or another after a split.
There is also the fact that this C list celebrity has also hooked up with
the now ex of our favorite former tweener turned adult singer/actress/drug
addict. That was the final straw in the friendship for the actress/singer.
Petra
Collins (dating Justin Theroux)/Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber
285.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#2**
This former A+ list politician who is running again for yet another position
he has not held before is trying like crazy to keep his name out of the fact
that he is now at least partly responsible for the two largest toy chains
in the US to go under and this time around 33K jobs.
Mitt Romney
(U.S. Senate Utah) ("Toys ‘R’ Us" and "KB Toys")
286.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#3**
This foreign born athlete is hopeful that the new freedom that this foreign
former boy bander is showing sexually will allow them to finally step out
as a couple together.
Xavier
Dolan/Harry Styles
287.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#4**
This foreign born initialed last name A-/B+ list singer/songwriter says she
is not apologizing for using the N word and will say it when she wants.
Charli
XCX
288.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#5**
This former Disney actress turned future porn star walked out of a recent
movie premiere to share some lines of coke with this foreign born former
A+ list tweener.
Bella
Thorne/Justin Bieber
289.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#6**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor with a franchise he was stripped of
has probably dropped to B list now. He was always a jerk when he was at his
peak and now that he is being given a second chance he is still being a jerk.
He is just more aggressive about it now towards women and no one likes working
with him on his new show.
Brendan
Fraser ("The Mummy") ("Trust")
290.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#7**
This A- list mostly television actress from a hit network show based on the
life of its creator says she was recently ghosted after three dates by a
guy she is now convinced was a reporter just trying to get some stories out
of her.
291.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#8**
This director used to work with this A list mostly movie actress all the
time. They even had a secret sexual relationship she tried to keep super
quiet even though he wanted the world to know. When she dumped him for someone
else he was crushed and vowed to never work with her again even though some
of her biggest successes were in his movies. Apparently the whole relationship
has taken a strange turn and he is stalking her I guess you could say, although
it is not a physical stalking. He sent her a short film that included shots
of her and also a body double he used in other scenes and he was in it and
the whole thing was just a very creepy vibe that has her really freaked out.
Uma Thurman/Quentin Tarantino; Jennifer Lawrence/David O. Russell
292.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#9**
Porn Star Death #1: This just about permanent A- list mostly television
actor/former host who is known by all of you and was everywhere back in the
day is aging. He got a 20 year old porn star pregnant and told her he would
marry her if she got an abortion. She did and he dumped her. Shortly thereafter,
she killed herself.
Olivia
Nova
293.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#10**
Porn Star Death #2: Speaking of porn stars, which I have been doing a lot
of the past week or so to try and figure out if any of the five recent deaths
are connected, we have the answer to one of the deaths in #9. The answer
to a second porn star death is that one of the doctors prescribing her pills
was also sleeping with her and very jealous. When she went away to rehab
and got clean, she had no use for him and met someone in rehab she was falling
in love with. When she got out of rehab, he showed up at her door the first
day with a bottle of pills and some wine. He also had a big stack of cash.
She had not been able to work for some time and needed the money. He said
he would give it to her if he she had some wine with him. She agreed and
then she mixed some pills with it. He stayed with her for three days. He
finally had to leave to go to work and she escaped to rehab. Apparently she
took the bottle of pills with her and one night took them all and died.
Olivia
Lua
294.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#11**
The Cult's Money Man - Mr. Hedge: Most of his success comes from a brilliant
move about a decade or so ago. No other way to describe it. He was comfortably
wealthy back then. Then he made one of the all-time smartest investment moves
anyone has ever made in that industry. He was part of the cult back then,
and donated like everyone else. As his investment began to bear fruit, his
giving to the cult grew tremendously. As of a few years ago, he was the largest
donor to the cult, by far. His giving was in its own category. Around that
time, a certain website, known for its very detailed research about the cult,
wrote some very unflattering things about our money man and some adoptions.
Our money man was not a big figure to the general public, but he was now
beginning to appear prominently whenever anyone searched for a story about
the cult. The cult got involved with the big search engine to help fix that
part. In very recent years, his giving to the cult multiplied once again.
He also made a very large real estate purchase, which has raised questions.
In recent months, rumors have swirled that our Money Man may be in the process
of leaving the cult. He may have even left already. This coincides with what
appears to be a big change in very close personal relationship, but nothing
is official yet. The cult is doing everything they can to make sure he is
happy and keeps giving. They are really sweating this one out. If this whale
stays with the cult, he has the potential to take the entire cult's financials
to a whole new level, on a permanent basis.
Bob
Duggan
(Pretoria
Ideal Org)
(Diamond
Maximus with Honors for $42 million donation)
295.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#12**
This peeking his head out of the closet one named permanent A list singer
met up with a guy he had met online at the West Hollywood Target. Apparently
they connected because they walked over to The Zone spa and had sex.
Usher
296.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#13**
I am convinced this foreign born B list mostly television actor from a hit
almost television show doesn't care whether his actress girlfriend lives
or dies. She has been unconscious a couple of times in the past four days
from partying too hard with him and he just keeps pushing and pushing.
Charlie
Heaton/Natalia Dyer ("Stranger Things")
297.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#14**
Why yes, that was this more than two named A- list actor/host all of you
know from multiple hit television shows and even a movie franchise cuddling
up to a person at a dinner that was most definitely not his significant other.
Neil Patrick
Harris (David Burtka)
298.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#15**
The quiet brother in this acting family was at it again. The A/A- list mostly
movie actor who all of you know dropped $50K last weekend at a strip club
in NYC. He spent the vast majority of it on one dancer.
Luke
Wilson
299.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/16 **#16**
Turned Out: This actress was still a couple years from being legal when she
moved out of her home. She was probably a B-/C+ list mostly television actress
at her peak. She regularly appeared on a long running network hit. When she
began to get noticed by people on the streets, one man took a very big interest.
He was well over a decade older than her but started wining her and dining
her and the next thing you know she was moving out of her house and moving
in with him. She would go to work during the day and at night she would have
to have sex with as many as five or six guys a night, all of whom wanted
to have sex with the underage actress who they saw on television every week.
Her "boyfriend" was charging each man at least $1000 and they would just
cycle in and out all night. This went on for months and months. The "boyfriend"
was making nearly $100K a month just off the actress and he wanted more.
He convinced her to find other actresses she would meet on auditions and
soon enough she was joined by a rotating cast of mid teen actresses, one
of whom would become a regular in several Disney shows. As for our actress?
She was killed by a competitor of her "boyfriend" who wanted her for his
own business.
Tara Correa
McMullen ("Judging Amy")
300.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#1**
This A list mostly television actor is the star of a very hit network show
after starring on another long running network show for the same network.
One of his co-stars is probably wondering if she is going to be back next
season after leaking news of the actor's impending divorce to the titular
head of the show's fan club. Michael Weatherly ("Bull", "NCIS")/Geneva
Carr/Bojana Jankovic
301.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#2**
This former A list reality star who went from ensemble show to her own show
and even a movie or two says she now has 24/7 armed security roaming her
yard because she fears her ex is going to try and kill her.
Audrina
Patridge (Corey Bohan)
302.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#3**
This C list celebrity has two goals. The first is to marry this permanent
A list rock star and the second is to make sure he overdoses on the heroin
he uses, preferably on their wedding night. She wants his money but is tired
of the beatings and the drugs.
Brittany
Furlan/Tommy Lee
303.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#4**
This B+ list rapper cheating on his B list celebrity in her corner of the
internet wife and getting another woman pregnant was the reason they are
getting divorced.
Logic/Jessica
Andrea
304.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#5**
While out of the country, this former B- list mostly television actor turned
stay at home celebrity and guarded by his wife day and night he was hitting
hard on this former A list mostly television actress who was last spotted
on multiple failing shows.
Eddie
Cibrian/LeAnn Rimes/Rachel Bilson ("Take Two" filmed in Vancouver, British
Columbia, Canada)
305.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#6**
This married A+ list reality star hooked up with this married convicted child
molester for old times sake when she had a quick weekend visit at his beach
house out of the country.
Kim
Kardashian/Joe Francis (Mexico)
306.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#7**
This tone deaf foreign born A+ list singer doesn't care about any of the
women or men who have been subject to the violence of this former A+ list
singer because he thinks the singer is cool and a lot of fun.
Ed
Sheeran/Chris Brown
307.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/17 **#8**
After decades of sobriety, this former A list mostly movie actor from just
one franchise is back on the booze in a big way and probably needs rehab.
The back from the ashes actor has been enjoying his resurgent fame a little
too much.
Mark
Hamill ("Star Wars")
308.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#1**
This B list mostly television actor from a hit cable show recently got married.
He is openly bisexual, but his new bride is closeted when it comes to that
even though she has a long time girlfriend.
Nico
Tortorella ("Younger")/Bethany Meyers
309.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#2**
This permanent A+ list mostly movie director is rebooting an old Broadway
hit for the movies. The star of the Broadway revival that led to the new
movie thought he had a chance at the role, but the director is totally blowing
him off for his own favorites and only gave the actor an audition to make
himself look good in case anyone asked.
Steven
Spielberg ("West Side Story")/Matthew Hydzik
310.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#3**
This very intelligent A list model didn't exactly put those rumors to rest
about what happened between the model and the A+ list singer. With a chance
to set the record straight on the record with a non tabloid type of publication,
she kept those NDA'd lips very much sealed.
Karlie
Kloss/Taylor Swift
311.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#4**
I'm not sure how many ways this guy can try to seek to get a payout from
the estate of this permanent A++ list singer, but he is trying a new tact
to get a payday from a reality show company or a publisher. He just looks
more desperate.
O.
J. Simpson/Michael Jackson
312.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#5**
With as many medications as she is taking, and the types of medications that
have been prescribed, people are hopeful that the rumors this A list singer
who has had a rough year is pregnant, are just that, rumors.
Ariana
Grande (Apparently she was pregnant or at least had a really big scare. When
it was determined she wasn't, that is when she split with Mac Miller. Oh
what might have been if she had stayed pregnant/scare proved
true)
313.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#6**
This person has been a horrible person for about 20 years. Recently this
horrible person received a couple high-profile image makeovers, which made
no mention of their past. This site told you about a month ago, that this
horrible person would not succeed at this endeavor. Many seeds had already
been planted. About a week ago, it happened - in a very big, very public
way.
Brock
Pierce (John Oliver profile - child star/cryptocurrency cowboy
pimp)
314.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#7**
Shocking to say the least, but that medical facility in the African country
the church used for their drug trials is trying to totally change their image
and presenting to the world they are this wonderful place full of sunshine
and light and beloved by celebrities instead of the death machine they have
been.
Mama
Hope and Global Citizen (Uganda)/French Montana, P Diddy and The
Weeknd
315.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#8**
This A list reality star with a very lucrative side gig has about a dozen
full-time staff to help take care of her offspring. This doesn't even include
all the relatives available to help. Our star just wants to get back to traveling
and partying.
Kylie
Jenner
316.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#9**
Going back to that earlier blind. This public embarrassment went much larger
than just the person. You can watch it. Lots of people did. You will laugh
while watching it.
Brock
Pierce
317.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#10**
One thing that has changed for this original permanent A list
clothing/music/television mogul is that since all the charges brought against
him he has to spend about double per day what he used to to get a woman to
spend time with him.
Russell
Simmons
318.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#11**
I find it crazy that these two rappers are fighting through social media.
The two rappers most likely to sexually assault a 13 year old yet they somehow
don't get along. I do notice that when they fight, they never mention how
much the other likes underage teens. I guess they don't want to draw attention
to it. The
Game/6ix9ine
319.
ENENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#12**
This former A+ list NFL player who you probably know even if you don't watch
football is married. He is also hooking up with this foreign born A list
mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. Apparently they
met about a month ago and connected and this is an odd pairing.
Peyton
Manning/Charlize Theron (Daytona 500)
320.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/18 **#13**
Going back to those earlier two blinds, this person in question just got
fired from his company as a result of this very funny exposure.
Brock
Pierce ("Block.one", the firm developing blockchain platform
EOS)
321. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/19
Worried about the critical and commercial reception for his next movie,
this A list filmmaker has already lined up his next movie and is instead
focusing on the development on that over the editing of the previous. ‘If
it bombs, he’ll be distracted by principal photography of the new
movie,’ the source tells me. Steven Spielberg ("Ready Player One")
(next project "West Side Story")
322.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#1**
This now aging A+ list athlete in his corner of the entertainment world is
making a money grab. He is going to announce a big event and ask to be paid
a guarantee upfront. He will then bail on the event before it occurs, but
keep the money.
Floyd
Mayweather (applied for UFC license)
323.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#2**
As I told you months and months ago, this foreign born A list mostly movie
actress who is an Academy Award winner/nominee was going to bomb with a big
box office movie. Sure enough, it happened and now the studio doesn't want
to make a sequel, at least with her.
Alicia
Vikander ("Tomb Raider")
324.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#3**
This A list alliterate rapper had sex with some woman backstage at a concert
this weekend and told her she was awful at oral and pushed her out into a
crowded hallway while she was still naked.
Rick
Ross
325.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#4**
This former A+ list athlete who recently retired to enjoy the life of
celebrity/part-time reality star/frequent strip club patron is developing
a line of custom collectible bats to commemorate his home runs. For whatever
reason, his A list girlfriend is the money behind the venture, although it
is technically billed as a joint venture. The original artwork for the
collectibles is very on-brand - uses a former team's color scheme, very
masculine. The artwork his girlfriend wants used is very off-brand - feminine
colors with lots of pastels and much too feminine for this type of item.
Looks more like what you would see used for a line of cosmetics or skin care.
Our former athlete's people want to go with the original artwork because
they know it makes more sense with the theme for sports collectibles. The
girlfriend is pushing hard for her vision. Since she is the real money behind
the venture, she's got big sway. The boyfriend is stuck in the middle. Will
be interesting to see if money beats out good business sense in this venture.
Alex
(A-Rod) Rodriguez/Jennifer Lopez
326.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#5**
She is barely drinking age, but this part-time reality star who is probably
a B- list celebrity is being set up by her mom with a 60 something man who
is extremely wealthy. Creepy right? Well, how about that the 60 something
man is the past sugar daddy of the mom. Crazy creepy.
Brielle
Biermann/Kim Zolciak-Biermann ("Big Poppa", Lee Najjar)
327.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#6**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor, as part of his rider, required
the hotel bar where he was staying to be open 24/7 for his convenience. So,
after last call, it was all his for the night and he had it to himself and
a few dozen of his friends and people he met during the day. Apparently,
he drank through the most expensive stuff first costing the movie production
to the tune of $20K just the first night.
Bill
Murray
328.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#7**
This former almost A+ list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award
winner/nominee saw her career fall off a cliff when she split with a guy
who had the ability to take some professional revenge. She was out of the
country this week for business and has a boyfriend, but it didn't stop her
from having "dinner" with a guy for almost six figures.
Hilary
Swank (Liberatum Mexico Festival 2018: Gala Dinner & Liberatum Cultural
Honour Awards Hosted By Pablo
Ganguli)/John
Campisi, Film Agent at Creative Artists Agency
329.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#8**
This foreign born A list singer married to an A lister not only nearly overdosed
this weekend while out of town and away from his wife, the woman he hooked
up with, did overdose and had to be rushed to the hospital. His manager told
authorities she had been staying with him and not the singer and that he
had no idea she even took drugs. He says that he woke up and was going to
have sex with her and she was non responsive so he called the police. What
really happened is the manager was worried about the singer and used a key
to go in the singer's room. After ten minutes of yelling and shaking, the
singer finally responded, but the naked woman did not. The manager got the
singer off to the manager's room and then called 911.
Keith
Urban/Nicole Kidman ("RodeoHouston")
330.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#9**
This B+ list mostly movie actor had a very big award season this past year.
It is also the first time many of you heard of the closeted actor. That was
him in a VIP bathroom at a recent sporting event getting busted with another
guy because security saw both of them go in to the bathroom designed for
one.
Timothee
Chalamet (nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role "Call
Me by Your Name") (New York Knicks Vs Philadelphia 76ers game at Madison
Square Garden)
331.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#10**
Long before she became a network reality star/seller of products/infomercial
queen, she was an assistant at a talent agency. Not just any assistant. She
was in close proximity to the head of one of the largest agencies in the
world. That head of the agency bragged about having underage sex with a minor.
Group sex. Lori Greiner/Ari Emanuel
332.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#11**
This B+ list mostly television actress/former pro beard had an interesting
gig. Her job last week at an event was to try and get this A- list mostly
television actress/reality star to talk about that group she used to belong
to. The conversation was supposed to be recorded and then the group was going
to edit it in such a way to make the actress look bad. Apparently the B+
lister bailed on doing it though. It creeped her out.
Olivia
Munn/Leah Remini (2018 A+E Upfront)
(Scientology)
333.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#12**
Not only is this former A- list mostly movie actress who seemingly made a
career from one movie three decades ago cheating on her permanent A list
significant other, she took out yet another huge life insurance policy on
him naming herself the beneficiary.
Daryl
Hannah ("Blade Runner" or "Splash")/Neil Young
334.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#13**
While all his other co-stars are just hooking up with random women (yes,
including that former cable actor who supposedly has a significant other),
this A+/A list mostly movie actor has just been drinking to the point where
he might have to pull out of the project.
Ben
Affleck (Charlie Hunnam/Morgana McNelis) ("Triple Frontier" in
Hawaii)
335.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#14**
While out of the country, this A- list singer/bad actress is recruiting teen
girls to go on "missions" to Asia and the Middle East. Because the teens
all look up to her, of course they are going to do it. Things are going to
be so bad in the next couple years when this all comes out.
Selena
Gomez in Australia ("Hillsong" Church)
336.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#15**
This B- list celebrity offspring who is only that high because of her parental
units and what happened to her when she was younger is in full on relapse
mode. Goodness she was sloppy over the weekend. She is drinking and drugging
again. Someone needs to help her fast.
Ireland
Baldwin (Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin)
(Alec’s
threatening voicemail calling her "thoughtless little pig")
337.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/19 **#16**
Guess The Athlete: Let’s change the pace of our guess the athlete today.
Our athlete today is relatively new to their sport. Although not considered
a big money sport yet, it is a growing sport. Unlike some sports discussed,
this is a world wide sport. Although rare, some members of this sport do
attain household name status. Big name status. Now, why would this be considered
noteworthy, you ask? This sport is arguably THE single dirtiest sport out
there. Has been for a long time. The use of chemicals in this sport is years
ahead of any other sport out there. Athletes from other sports often consult
with trainers from this sport to gain a "competitive edge". Our athlete today
is still a year or so away from their peak. Yet this athlete recently started
to jump into the upper echelon of their sport. This athlete made jaws drop
at a competition recently due to the degree of which they dominated. The
only thing keeping this athlete from becoming the face of their sport is
questionable issues and events that are ongoing in their personal life. Issues
that make the officials of the athletic governing board nervous. Once those
issues are resolved, this athlete is on track for household name status in
the manner much like others in this sport. And our athlete today knows that.
You may not know this athlete now. But I am highly confident you will be
seeing a lot of this athlete in the future. For better, or for worse.
Shanique
Grant
338. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/20
Apparently audio exists of this fairly disliked A list actress slamming down
drinks and ranting angrily at an industry event. Several actresses, believed
friends and secret enemies, are targeted during the wild rant, which would
be sure to create about a billion TMZ and Daily Mail articles and possibly
mean war between the actress and her so called friends. No idea if the audio
has been snapped up by the actress or a member of her team, but it wasn’t
available for purchase when we enquired.
Gwyneth
Paltrow ("Sun Valley Film Festival Vision Award")
339.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#1**
Considering they never even had sex, I thought it was pretty nice of this
former A- list actress to even say anything nice about her sex life with
this former A+ list rapper. He has issues performing because of certain
idiosyncrasies he has.
Vivica
A. Fox/50 Cent
340.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#2**
Everyone is talking about a recent surprise performance. Well, it all happened
because the closeted surprise performer went on a couple dates back in the
day with the person having the show, who just so happens to be our favorite
closeted former network actor who is going to get an Emmy nomination.
JC
Chasez/Darren Criss
341.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#3**
This permanent A+ list director is looking to cast children in an upcoming
huge movie even though there have never been any children in any version
of the basis for that movie at any time. Steven Spielberg ("West Side
Story")
342.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#4**
This former tweener turned A- list singer/part-time actress recently had
a miscarriage right before 12 weeks. I'm not sure who the dad was, and from
what I understand she had at least two possibilities.
Selena
Gomez (Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber or Scooter Braun)
343.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#5**
This permanent A list rocker was really out of it at a recent dinner. He
was talking to himself and kept getting up and down while at the table. He
would pace around in a circle before he would finally agree to sit back down
and then repeat the process three or four minutes later. It was driving the
diners closest to him and his significant other, nuts. Steven
Tyler
344.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#6**
This foreign born A+/A list singer in his own country who does a lot of reality
there is in the stable of this mogul. You know what that means of course.
As he did with his biggest stars ever, if you are gay, you stay closeted
and our mogul will find you a beard. He turned to the US for a beard for
this singer/reality star.
Simon
Cowell/Olly Murs/Britanny Allyn
345.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#7**
I hadn't heard of him going before, but it looks like this permanent A list
mogul/wannabe rapper who really wants to make his own music and not have
to glom onto others because they feel obligated attended that sex retreat
in Arizona to "get his mind right."
Sean "Diddy"
Combs
346.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#8**
This multiple Grammy Award winner/nominee has won a lot of other awards too.
He is permanent A list in his corner of the singing world. He has a side
gig. It is a gig where he is introduced to teens and young men who come to
him looking for answers. Instead of those answers, they are often molested
and even raped by the A lister. He passes around these teens and young men
to others in his group who are even more violent and twisted. This has been
going on for decades but the pressure put on the teens and young men to say
and do nothing is immense. I only know a couple of men who have spoken up
and they have either been shut down by legal threats or their voices were
lost in an abyss and never made a dent. That is about to change. I think
within the next few weeks, this will all start coming to light.
Donnie
McClurkin (gospel singer and minister)
347.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#9**
This A list mostly movie actor had a big year movie wise and a pretty cult
like meme following. On the set of his new movie he is cheating on his wife.
He is also cheating on his wife off the set.
Adam
Driver/Joanne Tucker (Scarlett Johansson "Untitled Noah Baumbach
Project")
348.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#10**
One of the lead actors of this new movie which is a sequel to a movie that
didn't do that well and the sequel is going to do worse didn't even bother
to show up for a Q&A about the movie. Why? He wants as far away from
the bomb as he can. He let the other lead, a foreign born A- list mostly
movie actor handle the duties solo.
Movie:
"Pacific Rim Uprising"
Actor who didn’t show: Scott Eastwood
Actor who did show: John Boyega
349.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#11**
At this point, this B+ list celebrity offspring from an offspring family
of wannabe models should just move in with her drug dealer. She is hanging
out with him 24/7, whether at work or home. Bella Hadid
350.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#12**
Back in the day when this permanent A list mostly movie actress who has been
married to a permanent A list mostly movie actor with very little acting
ability and a former A list mostly television actor with very little acting
ability was married to the former she was going to cheat. With who? This
permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee.
The first husband was away making a movie and our actress was going to hook
up with the still quite young actor. Apparently he couldn't stand to attention
and our actress laughed at him. They have not spoken since.
A
list mostly movie actress: Demi Moore
Permanent A list mostly movie actor with very little acting ability: Bruce
Willis
Former A list mostly television actor with very little acting ability: Ashton
Kutcher
Permanent A list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee:
Leonardo DiCaprio
351.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#13**
This foreign born A list model at least on her Instagram probably is unaware
that her brand new significant other secretly recorded them having sex on
at least one occasion. Probably going to hold that over her during any divorce
negotiations.
Emily
Ratajkowski/Sebastian Bear-McClard
352.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#14**
This foreign born former model turned A- list actress who stars in a hit
almost television show was denied service the other day at a restaurant because
she had so many open sores on her body. They told her to cover up and she
could come back. Ruby Rose
353.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#15**
Apparently this former A- list reality star tried to force a threesome with
his girlfriend and this foreign born B+ list model/part-time actress from
a celebrity family. The foreign born celebrity was having none of it.
Scott
Disick/Sofia Richie/Lottie Moss (Kate’s sister)
354.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/20 **#16**
Killer Comedian - Old Hollywood: I suppose as time passes, the name of this
actor becomes less known, but in the all time history of movies he is a permanent
A lister. If you are too young, you might not know his name, but if you read
any history of movies book, he will be at the top for what he did film making
wise. He was foreign born. Lets call him MG. He had his greatest success
working with a co-star. The same co-star. Another star of many of these same
films was an actress who was probably A- list. Lets call her BG She was a
staple of the films. She also was having sex with our permanent A list actor.
He always made her have sex to keep the role. Even if they were each married,
he would still make her. This is where it gets interesting. BG was having
an affair with a married man which began while she was still married. This
married man, we will call SC. He discovered that BG was hooking up with MG
and there was a big fight. So, BG went over to the home of MG. Apparently
MG was about to get married to a woman he would end up marrying more than
once. But, as it happened, MG hadn't told BG that he was getting married.
MG had been telling BG he wanted to marry BG. At that point, in the middle
of the night, BG said that in the morning she was going to tell everything
to the soon to be wife of MG. BG then drove off and went to the home of SC.
She tried to get in but he wouldn't let her. An hour or so later, MG showed
up and sneaked in through a side door of the garage and strangled BG to death
with a pair of tights. He then turned on the engine of the car and walked
out. Now, what is interesting is that even though everyone suspected BG had
been killed, everyone assumed it was the scorned wife of SC that did it.
Nope. Now you know who it was.
MG:
Stan
Laurel (married Virginia Ruth Rogers twice)
Co-star:
Oliver
Hardy
BG:
Thelma
Todd
SC:
Roland
West (Jewel Carmen)
355. THE
GOSSIP LIFE 03/21
This retired baseball player might be a living legend, but that doesn’t
mean he’ll play ball when it comes to autographs and selfies. Several
sources have told me over the years that [name omitted] is one of the most
difficult celebrities to get a signature from and is known to reject selfie
requests from kids and fans alike. People have speculated that he’s
a gigantic asshole since his rise to fame, but it’s always nice to have
confirmation.
356.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#1**
This twenty something A-List actor/singer has been dating his more famous
for her last name girlfriend for over a year. Although most people assume
that the A-Lister’s girlfriend is his beard, they are in a real
relationship... but that doesn’t mean he is completely straight. The
couple has been hiring gay porn actors to have threesomes with for the past
few months. It turns out the A-Lister finally found a girl that loves watching
him with another guy and joining in on the fun, the A-Lister also loves all
of the attention.
Zac
Efron/Alexandra Daddario
357.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#2**
No matter how often I write about them here or the rest of the world shares
on social media, it seems this former tweener turned A- list singer/former
reality judge just can't start treating her fans with anything but contempt.
I just wrote about her two weeks ago treating a fan like crap and now she
is treating dozens and dozens at a time like crap all while raking in huge
amounts of money for it and then going on social media and telling her fans
that if it is not good enough for them that she treats you like crap for
your hard earned money that she will just stop meeting them all together.
She won't though because she wants that money.
Demi
Lovato
358.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#3**
This foreign born really rich guy who had an obsession with a permanent A
list singer is doing the equivalent of the mobster who walked the streets
of NYC in a bathrobe every day. The rich guy is trying to escape some very
serious charges that were leveled against him, but would prefer to just wear
his bathrobe around young models and release a press statement than walk
the street each day to make his point.
James Packer
(Mariah Carey)
359.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#4**
This one named A- list rapper is doing his best to convince the world he
wasn't cheating on his wife. Even his wife believes him. Uh huh. Good luck
with that. This will all work out until the woman you are seeing and were
seeing gets dumped by you and then starts telling everyone the timeline of
your dating. A timeline which she is already telling her friends. So, when
you do show up in public with her and tell everyone you just met and didn't
start dating until after your split, you better hope she signs an NDA or
your wife will be even more heartbroken.
Logic/Jessica
Andrea
360.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#5**
Probably the greatest child star of the past generation or two, he made it
all the way to A+ list as a child. He saved a lot of his money, which is
a good thing. He can't really get work at acting any longer, mainly because
of his constant struggle with drugs and his penchant for being drunk every
day by the early afternoon because he says it keeps him from using harder
drugs if he is drunk or passed out from drinking.
Macaulay
Culkin
361.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#6**
This barely legal rapper was talked into dropping almost $25K on his former
stripper turned reality star turned escort turned celebrity girlfriend. At
the same time, she was sexting a guy she was going to see the next day.
Blac Chyna/YBN
Almighty Jay
362.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#7**
This permanent A list singer who no longer actually sings or really does
much dancing at all on stage despite how she used to move, is in a new ad
campaign. The problem is, even they didn't really know what to do with those
new lips of hers that are all sorts of wonky.
Britney
Spears ("Kenzo")
363.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#8**
This management company finally dropped this DJ after being publicly shamed
for repping him in the light of rape claims. HOWEVER, much like the case
of Louis CK, this management company was made aware of multiple rape claims
against the DJ five months ago but did not drop their client because the
claims were not made public. Instead, they treated the claims like a shakedown.
The victims only wanted an apology and nothing else but the management company
ignored their requests. Considering the events that have gone on now, this
is going to look really bad if any of these women sue the DJ. I would really
like to see this flash in the pan A list singer who took a stand for women
well over a decade ago with her anthem leave the agency because of this,
but she probably won't.
Datsik
(Deckstar & Circle Talent Agency)
364.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#9**
This A- list mostly television actor gets that high because his television
show is doing well. Even though his career has been for the most part, middling,
all of you know him. A famous marriage will do that to you. Anyway, he is
blowing his sobriety by partying this week with a group of escorts he is
rotating between while out of the country.
Ryan
Phillippe (Reese Witherspoon) ("Shooter") in Cabo, Mexico
365.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#10**
This still a teenager, A- list mostly movie actress found out her 50' something
year old boyfriend is married when she was introduced to his wife this week.
Joey
King (at SXSW);
Elle
Fanning (The Hollywood Reporter And Jimmy Choo Power Stylists
Dinner)
366.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#11**
This still technically married former A-/B+ list mostly movie actress is
dipping her toe in the yachting waters. Not full on yachting, but she did
agree to meet up with a guy to discuss it. It is not like she hasn't done
this before. Back in her single days, she did it a lot. I guess that divorce
payout is not going to be that high.
Jennifer
Garner;
Rebecca
Gayheart (Eric Dane)
367.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#12**
When those pictures of this married former naked celebrity turned reality
star turned porn star turned celebrity turned reality star come out, showing
her with a man not her husband doing things a married woman does not usually
do with another man while married, she will be ready. The tabloids are already
slow walking the soon to be split announcement.
Kendra
Wilkinson/Hank Baskett
368.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#13**
While in town this week, this normally out of town A list mostly television
actor from a loooooooong running hit show was sent a companion for the week
from that church that seems to specialize in it. His many donations to the
church, even though there is no location where he lives most of the year
are apparently appreciated. I'm sure the actor's wife probably would not
be on the same page.
369.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#14**
This permanent A+ list west coast rapper is married. He also is supporting
another woman who is the mother of three children of the rapper. Snoop
Dogg; Dr. Dre; Ice Cube
370.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#15**
This foreign born A list singer was always going to perform despite what
he said or the 30 minute rant about the wrong flowers in his dressing room.
He just made himself look like an idiot with his diva act.
Sam
Smith
371.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/21 **#16**
Baby Oil: Whenever I think of baby oil and naked bodies, it is generally
in a comic sense like in the movies Caddyshack or Van Wilder. Yes, I have
watched Van Wilder. No, I am not ashamed. Yes, I have watched the sequel,
and no, I am not ashamed. Anyway, I recently learned that there is a club
for all the people that have been paid to be with this former/not going to
work again/going to stay in hiding for a long time A list director. They
call themselves the baby oil club. One person who was in the club was paid
by the director to be with him beginning when he was 16. He was promised
roles in movies and given a little bit each month to be with the director.
The teen said he knew when the director was going to demand sex because the
director would reach for a bottle of a never ending supply of baby oil and
insist the boy get them both completely oiled from head to toe. The teen
said baby oil and coke don't mix by the way and that by the end of the night
there was always a fine layer of coke stuck to the bodies because of the
baby oil. He remembers one time the director was filming what turned out
to be an awful version of that classic superhero. It was the installment
with the disgraced actor in it. Anyway, the disgraced actor also was into
the baby oil game but used it to inflict as much pain as possible on to whatever
barely legal teen he was with that night. The actor would find whatever was
within reach and try to insert it into places it was not meant to be inserted.
He would yell and scream at any guy who tried to get away and berate him
by reminding him who was paying. He was a truly awful human being. For years,
this teen who stayed with the director until a year or so after turning 18
was promised parts. He got one part in all those years. A tiny little part
in a pseudo sea creature sounding movie where he played a male
escort.
Director:
Bryan Singer
Movie: "Superman Returns"
Disgraced actor: Kevin Spacey
Baby oil victim: Nicolas Walier
Tiny part in movie: waiter in "Valkyrie"
372.
POPBITCH
03/22
(British blog) Which high-ranking record exec dropped his wallet in front
of a waitress at the BRITs last month so that he could make an ever-so fresh
"WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, LUV!" joke when she bent over to pick it up for
him? And all while wearing his white rose #MeToo badge...
373.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#1**
And so it begins. Honestly, I am surprised it took this long for the tabloids
to try and put this former tabloid cover couple back together. Don't believe
the hype though, the two A listers are not hooking up or meeting up, but
it wouldn't shock me if the one who is a master of publicity isn't having
her people leak that they are.
Jennifer
Aniston/Brad Pitt
374.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#2**
This foreign born permanent A list singer is closeted. Her long time girlfriend
was left shattered when the singer showed off some young guy she was supposedly
dating and let the world think she was dating. Apparently they talked it
out though because the girlfriend has been with the singer at several recent
doctor appointments and they look closer than ever.
Celine
Dion
375.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#3**
At this point, the network really doesn't have any choice but to play things
out and hope they get better. They can't cancel the show because they will
look like idiots and they can't fire the host they think is responsible because
they owe him a ton of money and can't be sure he is 100% of the problem.
The show's ratings are in the tank and at this point, it won't be back next
year or forever.
"ABC"/"American
Idol"/Ryan Seacrest
376.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#4**
It wasn't that she was a diva. Honestly, she acted like she couldn't believe
her career had come down to her spending time holding up products for photos.
This former Disney actress who is probably a B list actress rolled her eyes
the whole time and was talking out loud to her people there that was this
really all they could get her work wise. They kept saying it is a lot of
money for just a few minutes. The company is using the photos, but there
could not possibly be even one where she is not smirking or rolling her eyes.
Ashley
Tisdale
377.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#5**
If you ever wonder how this flash in the pan former B+ list singer manages
to stay in the limelight despite not doing anything of note in almost a decade,
it is because he is paid a tremendous amount of money each year to stay quiet
about activities of this dadager with whom he used to be close and also to
facilitate meetings between the dadager and people the singer thinks would
be a good fit for the dadager. He also facilitates other transactions of
a different nature for those closest to him. So, despite his total lack of
success or even a blip of anything, he is actually in high demand for events.
Ryan
Cabrera (Joe Simpson)
378.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#6**
This actress I guarantee you have never heard of is foreign born. Interestingly
enough she is from the same country as an actress many of you know from bad
publicity but probably have never seen anything she has been in unless you
have Googled simply out of curiosity. None of you said, "OMG, a new _____________
movie is coming out. I cannot wait." Anyway, it turns out the pair used to
team up on threesomes with very rich men and this first actress I mentioned
is about to speak out about it and it is some juicy stuff that will put A
listers from outside the movie business under a very harsh spotlight.
379.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#7**
Earlier I told you about an actress who hates doing product placement photos.
Well, quite the opposite for this former A list athlete in her corner of
the entertainment world. She has always been about commercials and ads because
being in front of the camera artificially inflated her career success. Anyway,
two weeks ago, while taking time out from her fake relationship, she hung
out in a studio with different sets designed to look like different rooms
in a house. For six hours she changed clothes and rooms and took pictures
with one product after the next just piling up cash.
Danica
Patrick (Aaron Rodgers)
380.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#8**
This former A+ list mostly television actor is probably A/A- list right now.
Middling almost television show. At a recent big annual event, there was
a party and our married actor continued to show why he is such a tool. At
the insistence of a permanent A list entertainment legend/mogul, our actor
made out with one stripper while another orally serviced him all the while
surrounded by other guys clapping and cheering.
Ashton
Kutcher/Guy Oseary (Sound Ventures Presents 'The Party' with a DJ Set by
Snoop Dogg and a Solo Performance by St. Vincent)
381.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#9**
This foreign born permanent A list mostly movie actor has a title in his
home country. He shared a story last night about an incident that happened
to him many years ago. He was doing a play and the stage manager walked in
on the actor having sex with a co-star. The co-star was bent over with coke
all over his back. Our actor looked at the stage manager and said either
join in or get out. The stage manager got out.
Sir Ian
McKellen
382.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#10**
Apparently this A list mostly movie actor who is a superhero is not concerned
about what his now ex who also used to be an ex is going to spill about his
crazy sex life and living arrangements. Even as much as she wanted to be
with him, the actress just couldn't handle it any longer. She is a talker
though so I hope she didn't sign anything.
Chris
Evans/Jenny Slate
383.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#11**
This A- list mostly movie actress has been seeing another guy for a year.
Yes, I know she is technically still married, but that has been done and
gone, despite what her actor husband does to try and keep it together.
Jennifer
Garner/Ben Affleck
384.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#12**
This B+ list mostly television actor on a very hit, very long running network
show has a girlfriend, but it didn't stop him from hooking up with this A-
list male reality star who is having a very big television year.
385.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#13**
This A-/B+ list foreign born mostly television actress has a new network
show. She wasn't sure if she would get another great part after she turned
down this married A- list mostly television actor who stars on this hit pay
cable show. Shaunette Renée Wilson ("The Resident")/Damian Lewis
("Billions")
386.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#14**
This A- list celebrity offspring is acting free and loose, but he is about
to have to pay a massive chunk of his fortune away and has no prospects for
earning more money on the horizon.
Charlie
Sheen (lawsuit with National Enquirer)
387.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#15**
This former A- list mostly movie actor who all of you know despite the fact
he has not worked in years tried to get the tabloids to do what they do and
write a story about him. They were up for it until he said that he wanted
to look good and his acting brother to look bad. The tabloids think the brother
is a bigger star so won't cross him.
Randy and
Dennis Quaid
388.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/22 **#16**
Night Of Horrors: He was there not as an actor that night. He was there as
a producer. There was the Academy Awards. All of you know him. Everyone knew
him then and this was back in the day. He comes from an acting family. Depending
on the generation in which you lived, it is arguable who was the biggest
star in the family. What the family members have in common is a history of
serial abuse. That particular Oscar year, our producer/actor got some drugs
from Dr. Feelgood at the Playboy Mansion. About 40 minutes before the show
he ran into a female seat filler who was headed inside. He stopped her and
chatted her up and offered a drink to her. She accepted. That was a really
bad decision on her part. Apparently our producer/actor also drugged this
at the time A- list mostly movie actress who was a nominee that year. During
the show, our producer/actor kept tabs on the seat filler. When she started
staggering, our actor jumped in to help her out. She says she woke up in
the electric company parking lot with her dress around her waist. She had
been raped by our producer/actor. Meanwhile, our A- list nominated actress
was also in trouble. She was about to pass out even though her award was
about to be announced. If she had won that year, she would never have made
it to the stage. After the end of the show, our producer/actor made sure
to take special care of the actress because she seemed out of it. She says
that between the end of the show and the dinner, our producer/actor raped
her. She has never gone out with a man since.
Michael
Douglas ("One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s
Nest")/Carol
Kane ("Hester Street")
389.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#1**
This C list actor/celebrity many of you know. You might not know his name,
but you would know him as the soon to be ex of this A-/B+ list singer/actress
who is an Academy Award winner/nominee. He likes to make it look like he
is trying to find work, but he just does it for show. He wants the big payday
from the ex which is fine and all because that's the way life works, but
it isn't like he couldn't make a ton on his own with his background and it
is just sad to watch.
David
Otunga (Harvard Law School law degree)/Jennifer Hudson
390.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#2**
This B/B- list rapper/producer has been going through some rough times as
of late. He has been suffering from depression and can't stop taking PCP.
This is not a good combination. He needs some professional help, but no one
can find him. He is going to end up killing himself or others unless he gets
help. Kevin
McCall
(broke
& hungry)
(shot
in the foot)
391.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#3**
This one named A- list producer/rapper who is out of the country spent a
night this week in a country where the age of consent is 15. He spent a ton
of money to keep as many 15 year olds coming to him as possible. The guy
makes me sick. He will probably end up moving there.
The Game
(Slovenia)
392.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#4**
This A list director is trying to throw his A list ex under the bus because
he blames her drinking for their most recent movie together being a bomb.
He thinks it was all her fault.
Darren
Aronofsky/Jennifer Lawrence ("Mother")
393.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23**#5**
Apparently there is video of this one named singer/actress/reality star doing
drugs and talking about how she only has sex with guys for money. It is not
a good look. This is what happens when you start throwing shade at relatives
who have access to the recordings.
Brandy/Ray
J (his wife Princess Love)
394.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#6**
This A-/B+ list actress singer who all of you know is on vacation right now.
It was supposed to be with her boyfriend but he bailed once his wife found
out about the affair he was having with the actress/singer. Our actress/singer
had no idea. She has the worst radar when it comes to picking guys.
Lea
Michele
395.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#7**
So, this for right now A list rapper is sticking with her guy because she
loves him and she is pregnant with his baby. Yes, she is sticking with him
even though his ex is going to have his baby any day now and another ex is
set to have a baby with him in the next month and he has I believe three
other children with three other women. But yeah, this time is love.
Cardi
B/Offset
396.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#8**
You know what? Missing from that self fellating article that this artist
wrote about himself where he basically said he is a victim and misunderstood
and that critics suck is that he is an awful human being. Well, let me tell
you a different set of facts. You had a child star doing what was really
her first transition to being an actress as a career. She had always been
on the edge and figured this was a good place to start. My feeling about
this film in relation to her is that it changed how she saw acting and Hollywood
and has affected her for two decades. At the beginning she was this loving
person who was full of life and after the film was over, she was 180 from
that. He treated her like crap. He verbally abused her. He threatened her
everyday to fire her if she ate any food. He would scream at her because
she wouldn't sleep with him. Even after the movie ended, he would call her
and scream at her. When he was editing the movie he would call and yell at
her and tell her to lose more weight. I feel like he scarred her for life.
Vincent
Gallo/Christina Ricci ("Buffalo 66")
397.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#9**
This permanent A+ list singer has picked up a huge paycheck while throwing
some subtle shade at this foreign born A list singer who once slept with
the A+ list singer's husband.
Beyonce
got a huge check from Snapchat who Rihanna dumped after they made light of
her being beaten by Chris Brown
398.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#10**
This former tweener actress who had her own show now is so desperate she
has lowered her appearance fee to $2500 and still can barely get booked.
She spends more on clothes and makeup and hair than she is earning for each
booking.
Victoria
Justice
399.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#11**
Missing from a recent red carpet she was supposed to attend was this pint
sized reality star. Her marriage is on the rocks and any time apart will
bring it to a quick end.
Nicole
"Snooki" Polizzi
400.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#12**
There has been a director sighting. In Hawaii working with one of his old
bosses/handlers who has been comforting the director with college students
from the university where he "mentors" some of them. Apparently he only mentors
young gay men.
Bryan
Singer (Chris Lee)
401.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#13**
This new this season network show features two married leads who are also
married to each other on the show. If this show goes longer than another
season, they will end up becoming a public real life couple. Right now, it
is just behind the scenes. Jenna Fischer/Oliver Hudson ("Splitting Up
Together")
402.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#14**
This former B list mostly television actress with an alliteration for her
name told her ex she was unable to get pregnant, so this should all be very
interesting the next year.
Meghan
Markle (Trevor Engelson)
403.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#15**
This married former A++ list politician that everyone on earth knows is having
an affair with a staffer of his who used to be a production assistant on
a morning news show. The woman, does not actually appear to do any work,
but is listed as a staffer. Bill Clinton
404.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/23 **#16**
The Jacuzzi: There were all kinds of areas for couples to get together in
this club, but there was one certain Jacuzzi that was the sole domain of
this permanent A list actor/singer/entertainer. He would go to Studio 54
for a few hours and find some women to hook up with and to score some coke.
If they wanted some of that coke, they would have to leave the club with
him and go to a sex club. They would then be taken to his special Jacuzzi.
He wouldn't allow them to talk to other men. They all had to stay in the
Jacuzzi with him. He would make the women get naked and have sex with each
other while he watched. If he didn't think they were trying, or just out
for his coke, he would kick them out of the tub, naked and have them escorted
by security out of the area. He wouldn't let them retrieve their clothes.
More than one of those women was raped or sexually assaulted on her way out
of the sex club. He didn't care. He would keep the women with him for hours
and hours as he became more and more drunk and more and more demanding. He
loved humiliating them and night after night he would do the same thing with
a different group of women. This went on for almost a year straight. Whenever
someone says that he was a great guy, I remember how bad he treated all these
women and how many had to take a cab in the middle of a NYC winter wearing
nothing but a robe because they didn't like the way they had been treated.
Sammy
Davis Jr.
("Plato’s
Retreat")
405.
ASHANTI/NEW
YORK DAILY NEWS 03/23
Ashanti revealed her own sexual harassment experience in the music business.
The singer opened up about her own #MeToo experience during SiriusXM's
"Conversations with Maria Menounos" radio show where she revealed what a
producer once tried to make her do. "I've come across a situation where there
was a certain producer that, you know, he had his little crush or whatever,
but it wasn't anything new, you know?" she said. "And once I said 'no,' all
of a sudden the track became $45K." "It's funny because he said something
like, 'Well just take a shower with me and let me do this,'" she recalled.
Ashanti, now 37, said that lucky for her she had "scary" big brothers who
approached the producer and got their sister an apology. "The way that apology
came in, I actually got three records for free!" she said. "And I got two
of them mixed and mastered for free also." The "Happy" singer said some women
aren't so lucky and that is why the #MeToo movement is important, so that
no more women have to feel pressured into doing anything just to make it.
"I'm blessed because I have that," she told Menounos, adding of harassment
in the business, "It happen it does and it's unfortunate." Ashanti was discovered
when she was just a teenager and went on to be signed by Murder Inc. Records
in 2001 — at age 20. She was the first woman to occupy two simultaneous
spots on the Billboard Hot 100.
406. "VAMPIRE
DIARIES"/THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER 03/23
I'm three minutes into a rehearsal on the first day of my episode of The
Vampire Diaries when I notice an actor is missing. I immediately know something
is wrong. Rehearsals simply don't go on without actors, and this one in
particular is never late, never unprepared. I stand quietly for a moment
considering my next move. I'm the writer and on-set producer of this episode,
so I know it's up to me to discreetly pull the director aside to carefully
try and correct this mistake. I want to tell him straight out: "You forgot
to include an actor in this scene. And he has to be here." But I'm a low-level
writer. I don't have the experience or guts to be so direct. Instead, I look
at my script, bite my lip and walk a tightrope with every word I choose:
"Can we include all the actors in the scene as scripted please? Maybe you
have different plans I'm not familiar with, but I worry the plot won't make
sense without him. ..." The director's face turns crimson with rage, his
eyes dart around the room, quickly assessing how he can use the private space
I've put us in to his advantage. I immediately assume I've made some
career-ending mistake, and I try to buy it back by apologizing. But he stares
me down, spit forming in the corners of his mouth as he screams: "If I wanted
to talk to a nagging cunt, I'd go home to my wife." My arms instantly go
numb; my feet feel nailed to the floor as that sentence hangs between us.
Then he smiles, gently brushing his hand down my cheek and pinching it. Hard.
He walks away, cool and collected as he asks his assistant to invite the
missing actor to set. "Anything for our Finchie," he laughs. And I laugh
back. I laugh for every damn day of that shoot. Laugh through his lewd jokes
about actresses' bodies and lingering hugs and clammy hands on the back of
my neck, giving me massages I never want but allow anyway. I laugh and allow
it because I don't want the reputation of being "that girl," because surely
other people have it much worse so I should be able to handle this, because
maybe just maybe my plaintive smiles give him permission, because somewhere
along the way I internalized the misguided notion that this is "the price
you pay" — because of a million reasons that all boil down to: I worked
my ass off to get this job. I don't want to lose it. So I keep my mouth shut.
After the very last shot of my episode, I walk off the soundstages, out of
earshot, and scream bloody murder into the dark Atlanta sky. Just as I'm
done shaking and shouting and allowing myself to feel all the rage I denied
myself for two weeks straight, I bump into my boss, Julie Plec. Over the
course of my first season, Julie has become more than the showrunner, she's
my mentor, my friend. But in that moment, she's the last person I want to
see. I try to smile and hurry off to my rental car, but she can tell I'm
shaken. She asks how the episode went. "He was ... not nice. He said some
... not nice things to me. As a woman. But, hey, we got it done. I think
we got what we needed." I try to soften it, make it seem like I handled it
all. I assume she'll be proud of me. Instead, she starts yelling. She tells
me I was wrong. Wrong to assume that my job is to just suck it up and pretend
it's fine. Wrong not to tell her on day one. In that moment, I understand
she's not yelling at me. She is not shaming me. She is clear. And unwavering.
And wants to be sure I hear every damn word when she says: "It is not your
job to take abuse or accept unacceptable behavior because you're young and
a woman. That is not your job." There is no judgment or blame in her voice,
only strength and certainty. And it's because of that strength and certainty
I hear her, I believe her. I nod, thank her perfunctorily. And then I walk
away. When my hands put my keys in the ignition, I notice they aren't shaking
anymore. There is nothing unique about the harassment itself that I endured.
The ever-growing fierce choir that's risen up in the last few months has
made it clear: No woman in any industry is immune from sexual harassment
and abuse. The long line of #MeToo's that follow every allegation has become
so ubiquitous, we're now engaged in a dangerous pattern: A woman accuses
a powerful man of harassment or abuse. We feign surprise. And then we sit
and wait for the chorus of "MeToo's" to say that man harmed them, too, thereby
validating her story. What was unique was that I was listened to the first
time. Believed the first time. And, therefore, there was no "next time" for
me at this director's hands. A month after my episode of The Vampire Diaries
wraps, Julie emails to invite me back for the next season. At the end she
writes: "I promise never to put you in the same room with [that director]
ever again." She never did. She didn't know a fraction of the abuse he handed
me. She didn't know he called me a cunt on more than one occasion —
or about his hand on my thigh while telling me how much better a writer I'd
be if I had more "life experience." She didn't need to know it all. Because
what I did say was enough. One time was enough. One story was enough. One
woman is enough. [Editor's note: Finch did not lodge a formal complaint at
the time of the incident. The director, whom she declined to name, did not
work on The Vampire Diaries again.] John Behring
407. MR.
X 03/24
Which former tweeners turned successful adult singers hate each other so
much that at that big political event tomorrow their PR people were ordered
not to make them do any photo ops together? They have hated each other ever
since their tweener days when they both worked for the same network. Even
if they end up doing photo ops together, it will look very forced and staged.
Miley
Cyrus/Demi Lovato
(Disney)
("March For Our Lives" in Washington, D.C.)
408.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#1**
Is Rock Hawk Jayhawk a one season wonder? Well, this former one year wonder
willingly hooked up with a producer to land a reality show for herself. She
didn't think her celebrity boyfriend would find out. Apparently though, she
accidentally sent a selfie of herself in the hotel room where it happened
and the s**t hit the fan so to speak. Now, no more relationship.
Olivia
Culpo
(Danny
Amendola)
409.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#2**
This foreign born A- list mostly movie actor who is in a relationship and
apparently has been dragged into the superhero world was shooting just a
bit outside LA this week and was asking people in a strip mall where the
massage place was located. The massage place being the rub and tug variety.
Jude Law
("Captain Marvel")
410.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#3**
Lost is apparently the new code word for when you hand over some collateral
for coke when you don't have cash. Then, you get so wasted you forget you
did it and don't know how to contact the drug dealer to get your collateral
back. So, sayeth this former A list reality star all of you know.
Paris
Hilton
411.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#4**
This former A- list tween actress turned not get much work celebrity turned
B+ list adult actress turned, everyone from a certain age still remembers
me as my character but I can't get work is cheating on her soon to be husband.
Danielle
Fishel/Jensen Karp
412.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#5**
A certain elected law enforcement officer has been in the news very recently.
Several years ago, during an election, a video appeared, in which a girl
claimed that she had an underage affair with this officer/candidate. It was
quickly revealed that an associate of the political opponent had paid for
the video and hired an actress. The officer/candidate never sued that associate.
There was a real story which he didn't want to have come out.
Broward
County Sheriff Scott Israel (Parkland, Florida)
413.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#6**
Look for this former foreign leader to end up dead. He skimmed a lot of the
money he was in charge of finding for the Church. With all his connections
to the former colonies of his country, he was the point person. Now, he is
going to start naming names and that won't be allowed. Notice how nothing
has been written or any sign seen of that missing US government employee
I wrote about last month. A flurry of stories in the press and then radio
silence. Not a peep. The Church at work.
Nicolas
Sarkozy
414.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#7**
I really don't understand this A list reality star with a lucrative side
gig. Whenever her boyfriends cheat on her, she buys THEM a present to try
and get them to stay. She did it again this week.
Kylie
Jenner/Travis Scott
415.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#8**
With no go between now, this foreign born former A+ list boy bander is having
to meet with his dealer personally. Hey, at least it gets him outdoors in
the daylight.
Zayn
Malik
416.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/24 **#9**
There is a movie filming in New Orleans right now that no one will see. I
mean, I am saying that because it looks like crap although it is about a
permanent A list rock band. Anyway, one of the actresses in it that no one
has heard of probably until this blind was in a show last year about porn
no one watched. Well, except for one sheikh. He loved it. He saw her filming
in town and had an intermediary offer her $50K for one night of sex. Now,
that is more money than she has earned in the past several years combined
from acting, so of course she was interested. She says she went by the house
on St. Charles and then something scared her about the house and she walked
away. She said it had an evil vibe. She went home and Googled the house and
she found the blind about the house and this is where it gets freaky. About
ten minutes after her Google search, someone from the sheikh called and said
he didn't think green would be a good color for her to wear. That was the
color she was wearing right then. She turned off the phone for two days and
used a burner phone for filming. When she turned back on her phone, she expected
to see a bunch of missed calls or texts. Nope. Her phone had been scrubbed
of all conversations with the sheikh and his people. It was like it never
existed. She thought she was losing her mind but remembered she sent a copy
of the message containing the address she was sent to a friend. That friend
still had that one message. For now.
"The
Dirt"
417.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#1**
You know who is good at keeping secrets? Well, actually I think we already
knew this permanent A list singer is good at keeping secrets. She is so good
at it though, that I don't think any of us suspected she is a closet pothead.
Yep, our married singer is right up there with Snoop when it comes to her
love of herb, but she has never uttered a peep or been caught, until now.
Beyoncé
418.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#2**
Part of the money issue for this former C list celebrity all of you know
is his drug use. He is spending a ton of money on drugs and is eating into
his income to a drastic degree. Kevin Federline (Britney Spears)
419.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#3**
This foreign born permanent A list model/host did make sure to ask whether
a guy was legal (he was 19) before she started hitting on him at an event
last night. His girlfriend didn't really seem to appreciate the attention
the model was giving him. The guy though did find the model later and give
her his phone number.
Heidi Klum
(Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")
420.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#4**
At a big event last night, this well underage A- list mostly television actress
who stars on a hit almost television show was doing lines of coke with a
tween singer none of you know. Where are the parents? Millie Bobby Brown
("Stranger Things") (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")
421.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#5**
This former A list tween actress who was probably A- list on television at
her peak is down to B/B- list now although, if you are a certain age, you
know the alliterate actress. To jump start her career, she got a breast
enlargement that probably went about two sizes too big.
422.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#6**
While his A- list actress wife who is an acting family all of you know was
at an event this weekend, this foreign born former A list celebrity turned
stay at home husband/dad was hooking up with a nanny of a neighbor who lives
in the neighbor's house.
Candace
Cameron Bure/Valeri Bure (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")
423.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#7**
This B list Disney actress was at an after party last night. Now, granted,
she is legal, but still, it looked really creepy that she was being pawed
by some guy in his 60's. She didn't look like she was enjoying it at all,
but also didn't try and pull away.
Peyton
List (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice Awards")
424.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/25 **#8**
Something that definitely wasn't legal looking last night was this A- list
Disney actress who isn't even old enough to drive. She also does some acting
on an almost network. Anyway, she was sucking face with a married producer
in his 40's. He also had his hand in a place that made everyone looking,
really uncomfortable.
Jenna Ortega
("Bunk’d" and "Jane the Virgin") (Nickelodeon "Kids' Choice
Awards")
425.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#1**
This A list singer usually sings in a language other than English. He went
on a coke and hooker bender such as the world has never seen over the past
week. He also said he wants no part of Instagram "models" because they post
everything to social media, while escorts keep everything quiet. Umm, they
didn't here. Just sayin'.
Marc
Anthony
426.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#2**
This former child actress turned tween mess turned former A list adult actress
all of you know from an acting family is probably A- list at this point.
She tried to kill herself about 18 months ago.
Drew
Barrymore
427.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#3**
She has never injected drugs before, but now this B list celebrity offspring
of a permanent A++ lister has been introduced to it by her significant other.
This won't end well.
Paris
Jackson
(Cara
Delevingne)
428.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#4**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award
winner/nominee has been pressed repeatedly, but still won't say that she
will stop working with the child molester.
Cate
Blanchett
429.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#5**
This foreign born B list model/actress is refusing to give a deposition against
the disgraced director because several people have come forward who contradicted
her earlier version of events and she is fearing she will be accused of lying
if she gives her version of events.
Natasha
Henstridge/Brett Radner
430.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#6**
Bad move by this A- list singer who is all over the radio right now. Her
celebrity husband hooked up with someone about ten days ago. This was definitely
not the time to go all in showing love for him. Carrie Underwood; Kelly
Clarkson
431.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#7**
This permanent A list celebrity attended the March For Our Lives rally in
Washington with a half dozen armed security surrounding them and actually
asked for federal protection too which was denied.
Kim Kardashian
and/or Kanye West
432.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#8**
This was kind of strange. This A list mostly movie actress who is getting
that rating because of her past work. She never really acts now. She says
that when she was starting out in the business and basically having sex for
money with wealthy men who saw her in a magazine, she was taken to a party
and introduced to this permanent A++ list celebrity. Apparently they enjoyed
the same type party drug. Well, she was taking it to party and he was taking
it to live or at least numb all his pain. To this day, his cause of death
is listed as something other than what the real cause of death was. Anyway,
he was fascinated by our now actress and also by the guy she was seeing from
time to time who could get his hands on the drug. So, she started spending
more time with our celebrity and she says he memorialized her, but when she
saw it and didn't immediately say how much she loved it, he destroyed it
in front of her and never did another. Apparently he was wasted when he destroyed
it and she says she did love it but was shocked he did it. She also says
that when the celebrity was dying, her first husband who was not quite her
husband refused to meet the celebrity because he was afraid of catching
something.
Andy
Warhol/Demi Moore/Freddy Moore
(cause
of death)
(magazine/"Oui")
433.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 **#16**
Who bit Beyonce's face?
A HIMMMM BLIND ITEM **ONE MAD, SAD MOMENT FOREVER**
434.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART ONE
Part One: (NOTE: This is a very long blind item story, as long as the Elvis
Pallbearers item. Feel free to bookmark it, save it, or read at your own
pace - or skip it if you're not into TL/DR – you were warned. There's
a video on Youtube you can watch after reading this, as we're sure you'll
figure it out. We'll be posting links on our Twitter page later to some videos,
not to reveal but just to share as a reward to those who read it all. There
are two people telling the story of this night: Me, your trusty Himmmm 1
scribe here; and my cohort Himmmm #3 (or H3). He's a world-class musical
talent, and one of the most underrated drummers in rock history. Best of
all, he's just a regular nice guy; great family man; and a severe chainsaw
samurai. The memory of this event comes from both of us, blended into one
narrative for your enjoyment. As in the past - I'm sorry if it's a departure
from the blinds of scandal, evil abusers, or cheating/drugs/whatever. Although
it does have celebs in it, this is not some major mystery to unravel. It's
just about sharing a story that is very special and crazy. Real life usually
is. So, for you - our friends here at Crazy Days and Nights – we share
a memory of a crazy night.) Sometimes we don't know the biggest, most epic
moment of our lives until they've passed. Sure we have those big moments
like the birth of a child, a wedding day, a graduation, or a big day at work.
But sometimes what we think is going to be an amazing day turns out to surpass
even our wildest dreams. Something so massive; so tremendously large that
we can barely comprehend it 27 years later. This is the story…and I
smile whenever I remember it. Thankfully due to video and audio, I'm grateful
I can still relive it. This story is about one of those moments that make
you glad you lived and carry it with you. It's about the glory, excess, and
perfection of this (foreign rock band) at the top of their peak fame, when
all the world is theirs. When all the madness, sadness, and gladness are
part of life. It's not meant to be a big mystery – and you'll likely
figure out the band right off the line here. But it's a moment worthy of
sharing. Best of all it all really happened and I was there - with a few
souvenirs too that remind me of it all. We will set the time travel DeLorean
back to 1991, and the pre-internet, no mobile phone days when MTV played
videos. George Bush (the first) was President; the Soviet Union had just
collapsed; the cola wars were over – and the world seemed optimistic
for once. People wanted to party, to enjoy freedom around the globe, and
it was an amazing time for music, movies, pop culture, and hair gel. It was
a sweet spot there for a few years between hair rock and grunge; between
hip-hop and gangster rap; and between Debbie Gibson and Alanis Morissette.
People wanted to have fun with no worries – and there was one band in
particular that took them there. I first met these members of this band at
a Queen concert in a foreign country when I was a kid - barely a teenager.
Outside of their native land few were keyed in to this new band. I met this
young band of brothers, and they went out of their way to be super nice to
me. It was our closeness in age – even though they were all older than
me – and a love of music that kept us together as we became friends
over the years. Wasn't long after we'd met that they signed to a record label
with which my family was involved. Out of the blue, the band had a pretty
big hit album, and suddenly were very popular with teens/college crowds and
females of every age. There was another company that my family was involved
with in the early 80's and 90's, that produced music videos and movies -
including producing videos for this new band. So whenever I could I would
catch up with them while they were making their videos, and we'd always have
a blast. Being a teenager and being friends with those guys didn't damage
my dating prospects either. Somehow I felt my dates weren't just interested
in only me. The band had put their soul into their new unreleased album,
and I thought it was staggeringly perfect. Unfortunately, my family company
and the executives didn't agree. Popular myth holds it that the record label
so hated the new album, that when it was turned in for approval the manager
of the band was offered $1 million for the label to trash it and go re-record
a new album. The band's manager tried to get the marketing execs behind him,
but in private they were nervous. The band persisted, released it anyway,
and underground college radio spun it until it broke through the mainstream.
That's sort of true. The reality was that after turning down the $1 million
offer, the label executive left a copy of the album with his boss. Who chucked
it upstairs to his boss. From there it wound up in my teenage hands. I knew
it would be a hit. After hearing about the manager's battle, I got in touch
with the head of college radio marketing. He was under siege by the manager
too. I told him that I could get the CEO of the parent corporation to approve
it if he'd agree to the manager's plan. I badgered the utter hell out of
my family and everyone until they started taking a listen. I literally stood
on my Dad's desk and threw a total teenage tantrum until he agreed to listen
to it and my arguments for it. My brattiness paid off, and he caved in to
this kid and my love for this band. The label agreed to release it, and the
college radio marketing team took off with it. Seeing the sales rise, the
label was very happy. When the singer's personal manager found out –
she was an angel - I got the nicest call from the singer thanking me for
helping. He called me "little brotha" (in reference to the brothers in the
band), and told me we'd get together soon. Five million copies of that one
album sold since then proved my bratty teenage tantrum was correct.
435.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART TWO
Part Two: What set the band apart was that each member was a brilliant talent
– but in private life they were all just regular guys you'd have a beer
with at the pub. The musical brain and major songwriter behind the band was
a brilliant multi-instrumentalist who could not only play anything, he could
write it. A fairly shy guy until you got him wound up, he was the DaVinci
of the song. He had no limits to his talent and was the clear leader. One
of the band's guitarists and a multi-instrumentalist (we will call KG) was
a mad, brilliant, genius with a megawatt personality and no "Off" switch.
Not blood related to the others, he was crazy mad. He could play any song
or instrument, and even today stands as probably the most underrated guitarist
in history. His personality was that he'd try almost anything, a dare or
a prank, and you'd still be laughing if he got over on you. It was easy to
play jokes on him because his eyesight sucked. In fact, it seemed everybody
in that band had bad eyes. The drummer of the group and co-author of this
story, H3, is like a human drum machine. He's too modest to admit it, but
he's a legendary talent. When everyone from Neil Peart to Ringo Starr praise
you? You've got something. He could play flawlessly for hours and never miss
a beat, unless he was too drunk and fell off the stool. Only kidding, as
he was the least wild drummer I've ever known and still don't think he's
ever pitched a television out of a hotel window. The singer/front man whom
we will call HT, was a legend for good reason. Dear God was he a legend.
He was a singer, songwriter, and performer the likes of which the world has
rarely seen. Maybe top five in history. His voice was powerful, flawless,
and never took a day off. His stage persona was unrivaled. His human personality
was magnetic, charismatic, and made you perfectly at ease. His biggest flaw
was that he was blind as a damn bat. It was not a myth that every woman he
met wanted to climb inside his skin and devour him, and many did. Being around
him was like a good party you hope never ended. Blended with the other nutty
animals in their zoo you could see why they had the world in their hands.
It is really hard now for people to appreciate just how huge this band was.
They were a global megastar band, and these days there is not a group that
could compare. Nearly 60 million albums sold. By the time I was college-aged,
I'd reconnected with these guys. I was working in the Summer of 1991 for
our video/film production company. The execs running the outfit asked if
I wanted to go to England to our office there to help produce this band's
upcoming show. To be recorded for a special release, live, both on video
and audio. Since I knew the band, I was pleased to do it. Thankfully, the
actual directing and producing would have the best in the biz doing it. I
just was there as a liaison and adviser. Not a bad gig for a 19 year-old
kid. I spent weeks helping prep the show and get everything finalized. Especially
the finance (it's an important part of the process). Funny thing is that
everyone wanted this July event to occur, but nobody remembered to pay for
it. No kidding. The total was $1.7 million American dollars (and thirty-five
cents). In 1991 dollars. The band paid about $200,000 of the cost. The execs
at the company assumed the band would pay for all of it; and the band assumed
the company would pay the rest of it. The band didn't exactly have that much
in their account that day. When I heard of this issue, I went to the phone
and made one call. In twenty minutes I was standing in the lobby of a bank
in London with a Cashier's Check for $1.7 million (and thirty five cents).
To this day many in the band thought they paid for the show and production.
Truth is that money came out of someone's personal funds, and not from the
company accounts. But this machine would not budge without the money, and
I was not about to let my pals lose their moment in the spotlight. That angel
investor eventually got the money back, but it took 20 years and made no
profit. It was worth every penny. This was going to be a massive shoot for
a massive gig. We used 17 separate Arriflex 35mm film cameras. We even got
a helicopter to fly with a special gyroscopic-balanced camera; and our crew
had over 50 techs. It was going to be epic in every way, and if you were
in London in Summer 1991 you knew about it. The BBC radio did an all-day
tribute to the band. We had several bands booked as opening acts for a full
day festival. I think tickets sold out in 15 minutes flat. The day before
the show, we had sound check while stages were being finished. I had brought
my guitar with me so that I could play a little with some friends after the
show. I had an amazing customized black/white Fender Stratocaster. It had
been ordered to be customized by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, and given to
me as a birthday present. I brought it into the warm up room backstage at
Wembley, to let the band's guitarist KG have a turn on it. He had a guitar
very similar and was amazed at how well it played. I had his guitar tech
to adjust mine to be exactly like his, as I loved the way his felt and sounded.
During the sound check, I nearly panicked when I found my guitar missing.
Turns out KG had used it by accident during sound check. I told him he was
welcome to it anytime, and sat it back in the rack next to his to keep it
safe. I knew his guitars were safer than lugging mine to the hotel and
back.
436.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART THREE
SATURDAY, 13 JULY 1991 – WEMBLEY STADIUM: The day of the show, the
nervousness was building. We all met in the lobby of the Carlton after lunch.
The singer, HT, was there with this permanent foreign born A list model.
Guitarist KG had gone ahead to the venue to see the opening bands. Everybody
else in the band took a bus to the stadium, complete with police escort.
When we arrived it was unlike any crowd I'd ever seen. There were over 200
people just backstage alone. We all went to grab some grub and drinks pre-show,
and all these massive stars were there for the show. From (former A list
singer who had several big hits in late 70's early 80's) – who was not
nice; to (foreign born permanent A++ list singer), who was amazingly nice;
to dozens of British stars back in the 90s. So much so, the band got
uncomfortable and started to peel off to hide. Both KG and I slithered around
a corner to smoke and hide. That blind fool had fallen and nearly broken
his foot at the airport, (sober I might add), and had it all taped up. Within
15 minutes, HT the singer joined us laughing about ditching the gig and escaping
to Piccadilly. Saying we could crash a karaoke pub instead of this gig.
Thankfully, nobody escaped that night. My date for the event was a foreign
born woman who was known as a two-hit wonder in the U.S., from a musical
family. We will call her just MS. She and I had met back in January of that
year at a party for this band in their home country. MS was widely respected
and admired for her amazing vocal range, beauty, and the musicianship of
her pop songs. On this day in 1991, she was 30 and I was not yet 20. Hey,
don't judge. She'd been in a long term relationship that recently ended,
and was dating a new guy – kinda/sorta, but wasn't serious yet. So she
decided to be my date for this event, as friends. That was the plan anyway.
She was a total woman. A mix of Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, and the
eyes and attitude of a Joan Collins. She was all blonde hair, lips, hips,
and…uhh, eyes. Yes, those two incredible, large, round…eyes. Hypnotic
eyes. She was self-deprecating in a humbly-sweet way, and funny as all hell.
Her words, her heart, and her sarcastic sense of humor really did it. I was
honored when she accepted my invitation to accompany me that evening as a
friend. Dress casual, arrive comfortable. About a year earlier she'd given
a French television-shattering performance in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower
behind her – in a dress that made even the French TV censors nervous.
It was a very tight, very short, very low-cut-dip little black dress. I honestly
think she'd been sewn into it. Wrapped around her figure it was shimmering
and stunning. She had that exact same dress on tonight and – good GOD.
My mouth was dry when I saw her arrive at the check-in gate. For about five
minutes I think everyone forgot about the band and the show, and she was
the center of attention. Just…wow. H3 says no kidding, and he still
recalls that dress. When he saw her he asked me if I would play drums during
the show, and we'd just trade places. But I told H3 that I don't play drums.
He didn't care. Even HT wanted to bring her out for a duet but she was too
nervous. I didn't know HT's new girlfriend, the supermodel, too well. She
seemed very sweet and very in love. HT was a hopeless romantic who fell in
love twice a day, so I'm sure he loved her too. But backstage, HT called
me over to ask me a favor. He said a close friend of his was there, and would
I let her watch the gig with me and my date? Apparently the two ladies knew
one another and despite tabloid crap – they were friends. Sure, HT,
who is she? That was when he introduced me to his lady friend, who was (foreign
born A list singer who all of you know but never reached anything close to
A list here) and had flown in just for this epic show. Looking at the two
of them – arguably the two most beautiful ladies in London – I
said "duh, of course", like I'd refuse that. So with two lovely ladies beside
me, we dutifully took our place in the shadows at the side of the stage,
where I could look to the sound boards and cameras if needed. I had an ear-piece
to my radio to monitor the production, and I could look ahead and see the
band. We stood behind the camera track rig in the shadows of stage right
(or screen left/house left for the viewer/crowd). Apparently HT liked it
like that – to know friends are standing close since his vision was
very limited past 12 feet.
437.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART FOUR
Part 4: As the dark began to settle in, the crowd was an ocean of people
who had been there rocking all day. Massive. To see over 70,000 humans –
do you have any IDEA how many people that is?? A fu@&%ng entire city
staring back at you. Just the crowd chatter was pitching the mic levels near
red. The band said it was "the biggest pub crowd we'd ever played to". H3
was going to kick off the show by himself, as their lead-in intro song was
a way for the sound mixers to set the levels as each member is supposed to
come on the stage and began to play one-by-one. With a high-five to me for
luck, H3 crawled and shimmied up through a trap door in the back of the set
up stage, to sneak into the drum riser. He snagged his clothes on the door,
but luckily didn't rip anything. Like a deranged elf, he was the first soldier
into battle. When I heard the video director announce in my ear-piece that
it was time, I actually began to get nervous. It wasn't quite dark outside
yet, but hazy enough for dusk. A summertime, damp London chill and no breeze
that let the sound and smoke hang in the air. The stage lights instantly
dropped and PA went quiet. H3 crawled nervously atop his stool, looking out
at this sea of faces and bodies. He held up a peace sign to signal the crew.
More people than he'd ever faced in his life, all he could think of was:
"Don't f#@k this up…don't f#@k this up…okay, I'm a drummer, count
to four - one hand – foot, hand, foot…". When the fans saw H3 behind
the kit, they ERUPTED into a ROAR so loud it created a blast of noise and
wind powerful enough to knock you down. Then came the announcement in my
ear: "Sixty seconds to LIVE BAND". The band members began to gallop around
the side of the stage set, running into battle one at a time. Then: "thirty
seconds", came the announcement. The ten seconds to live rolling cameras
and sound speed. As HT gave me a wink and told me to "have fun lil brotha".
Before slapping up his own people and snaking his way to run out to the
stage…he stole my lit cigarette and hot-boxed it to the filter in two
draws. Not even old enough to buy a beer in the states, but there I was.
Still a teenager and had just handed over a check of nearly two million dollars
to throw this party. Probably a world record price for a concert ticket.
As HT ran out to the stage, I followed and took my place in the shadows.
The band was working through the intro song, H3 hammering the beat, and the
crowd blasts in cheers when HT galloped onto the stage. They all were getting
into the groove of the first tune, like a good warm up. H3 beat those drums
like they owed him money. I stood there in the wings, a proud friend on the
side of that stage with two stunning blondes on either side of me. As soon
as the opening song came to an end, there was applause and cheers. I braced
myself for what was about to happen, warning my dates to hang on tight –
it's gonna get loud. (When you watch the video this is the 4 minute and 07
seconds mark). That's the moment H3 dropped the hammer, and kicked off that
drum for the first major song. It hit like a thunderbolt… And oh,
baby…did it ever hit. That first note was like launching a nuclear explosion
atop fifty tons of dynamite. The roar and vibration of the packed stadium
sent a vibration through your entire body. Literally. Your muscles vibrated,
and the metal around you danced like an earthquake. Your chest felt the
concussion of the screaming roar. The band didn't start playing – they
EXPLODED into a blast of music, lights, and gymnastics that blew the crowd
backwards. Think I'm exaggerating? Hardly. I'm underplaying it. H3 beat those
skins to death and blew hell off hinges as the entire crowd jumped. In unison.
Up. And. Down. It shook the entire stadium, and parts of the edifice were
actually falling down like snowflakes. The light towers in the crowd would've
collapsed had they not been rigged right. The damn camera cranes even shook.
Seventy-plus-thousand people all bobbing, jumping, and singing - hands over
their heads to this one amazing song's beat. It sent shocks of electricity
through the air, into your body, and through your soul like a fever seizure
of religious ecstasy. The jumping and dancing of that crowd was a mass orgasm
of 75,000 humans all in unison. Nobody could sit still, and the band couldn't
stop smiling. It was the definition of epic. If you watch the video on YouTube,
watch this second song (or the first BIG song of the show). I was there and
could hardly believe it. Raw, pure, power. Now my two lady friends were
sandwiching me, grinding and jumping. On me. I totally ignored any duties
I had that night. It was okay, because the Producer and Director were the
best. I got to stand side-stage looking at my friends as two pop idols danced
around me and the population of Wembley stadium went wild. When KG the guitarist
pivoted in my direction though, I noticed something amiss. The guitar tech
had grabbed MY guitar out of the rack on accident! Hell! It was my guitar
KG was now playing onstage, and not his. I deftly jostled over to his guitar
tech to warn them. All I got was a grin in return. So I just darted back
to my spot and shook my head in awe at his band, with a flawless guitarist
not even playing his regular ax, rocking it out. What proceeded was one of
the most powerful performances ever given. Certainly in my estimate, but
also by those who just watch the video without having lived it. Live. The
band never ran out of steam or had a bum song. No weak links. And when my
guitarist friend switched guitars and horns, he shot me a thumbs up and a
grin – I shot him the bird. He laughed. He used my Fender for most of
the rest of the show. I was honored and proud to know that it was a part
of this event, and knew – even then – that it would be historic.
438.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART FIVE
Part Five: During a break in the gig, I stepped over when the singer came
off stage. "What's up with you and (KG) and that damn guitar?" he asked.
I told him, and he doubled-over laughing. He again stole my lit cigarette
and hot-boxed it to the filter in two draws. He said "I want to play it,
not fair!". Dripping in sweat, he blasted back on stage wide open. The peak
of the entire show that night came for me right then when they lit into a
searing song that was my favorite. HT said onstage, "This is a
story…about..." then a harmonica played. And the crowd went insane.
This song set my two dates exploding into orbit screaming and gyrating. Legend
had it that HT's ex-girlfriend – the same friend now grinding on me
– was the inspiration of the song. I just stood there grinning, trying
to maintain composure. For the rest of that song, those women used me as
a jungle gym playground, dancing and having a blast torturing me in their
tight outfits. In the film, every time the band looks to their right offstage
– it is them looking at us. Thankfully we were out of camera sight-lines
and no film was being shot on side stage. Tough job, but I had to do it.
After TWO SOLID HOURS straight of that energy and power, they bang out a
nonstop killer finale. After that encore, right about then the ladies scamper
off behind the stairs to go backstage, and I'm watching these loonies come
offstage. Without any warning – the singer walks over to KG's upright
guitar stand, and pulls my Strat out of the rack. Puts it on. In front of
an army of screaming fans, the lights now up and music over. He starts to
strum it. Everybody backstage puzzled at this. The band mates are laughing
at him. I'm praying he doesn't do a Pete Townshend and shatter it. Instead,
he strums it a few times, walks to an amp and does a feedback pull with it,
like Hendrix. After he gets his feedback, he takes it off again. As he walks
offstage he shoots a look and gesture to the crowd, then walks over and hands
it off to the guitar tech. When HT makes it in back behind the huge set,
he says to me: "I told 'ya I'd play it!" he laughed. And so he had. We all
start to make our plans for the obligatory after-party, and the band members
sign autographs and chug refreshments. H3 is exhausted but gets his mischievous
second wind and says we need to ditch the formal party and go pub jumping.
He and HT had done this before, in Rio, and ditched their security
chief/bodyguard. They'd been missing 48 hours while partying like crazed
men. He was tough to ditch because he was still a cop back in their home
country and a very sharp man. My companion MS and I jumped in our car and
headed back to the hotel. I filled her in on H3's plan as we continued drinking
our liquid bravery.
439.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART SIX
Part Six: Back at the hotel was a madhouse. I bribed our driver to help us
escape and keep the motor running. Getting out of the car, I grabbed to move
my guitar case the same moment MS decided to exit the car. She began to tumble
– in that beautiful dress – and I caught her mid-fall. Unfortunately,
her dress caught on the door and…rippppp! The cleavage seam on her dress
split about 6 inches lower, and it really didn't need to do that. Gracefully
composed, she pinched the top closed, laughing as I apologized. All she needed
was a safety pin, which we found thanks to the concierge. The bellman grabbed
my bags from my room, and shuffled them all out to the car. MS was looking
fit as ever, and we met with H3 in the lobby. The bodyguard was already in
a panic due to the bass player's pregnant wife nearly giving birth during
the show. A simple request distracted him enough for us to ditch the party,
with a bottle or two smuggled out. Running into the singer HT – he begged
to join us. No problem. He and his girlfriend would be a blast. Before we
could leave, his manager cornered him and reminded him of the glad-hands
and media he was obligated to meet and greet. I saw then what it meant to
be trapped by your fame. A sad moment where the look on his face was like
a kid who had to stay in detention while the others went to recess to play.
He shrugged, and I told him the pub name if he could escape. He looked so
lonely in a room full of adoring people – and winked: 'You two don't
behave, have one for me". In the car MS and I sat, talking and drinking waiting
on H3 who finally made it out a side door. Like a bank heist getaway he jumped
in, and the driver sped off to the pub we'd wanted to visit. Poor H3 was
exhausted but got his second wind. MS was becoming a very funny drunk with
a sense of humor to rival a sailor. Arriving to a pub that looked more like
a dive bar than disco, we told the driver we'd be about 10 minutes. The second
MS came through that door to the pub, every head turned. Not at the drummer
who just played for an army of them, but at the gorgeous blonde in that black
dress. I wondered how long until they recognized who she was. I was invisible,
happily so. After finally finding our table and drinking ourselves to comfort,
we plotted our night's course. People whispered and feeling our cover blown,
we decided to finish our drinks and go before the tabloids showed. By then
more than one man had made comments, gestures, and sneers at us. A large
chap who looked like a poster-child for football hooligans staggered over
towards us, asking if we're television stars. We laughed and apologized that
"Sorry, just regular folks". To which he replied that he didn't care for
us hogging all the bartender service. I also noticed his 20 rough pals in
the corner arguing with themselves. This drunken jerk kept saying nasty things,
and as we're wanting to avoid a fight I said we should leave. I didn't want
to brawl with a gang of guys who looked like a brown shart stain on the fresh
tighty-whiteys of humanity. This drunk leaned over our table, resting his
large weight on an empty chair, leering at MS. He made a very crude remark
involving a word than began with "C". The drunk then reached his arm out
towards MS and to grab at her cleavage. Then H3 swiftly KICKS the chair legs
out with his foot, and the drunk goes – …SLAP his face hard on
the table, then crashing down to the floor in a heap at MS's feet. Out cold.
Never test the leg reflexes of a drummer or a football mid-fielder. Everyone
sat there, mouths open, staring at the out-cold drunk. Now sleeping peacefully
on the barroom floor, a broken tooth just beside his mouth. Maybe the tooth
fairy would visit him now. MS looked in horror and H3 says: "Time to go".
Uh, yep. As we pass the bar, I gave the bartender a big bill to cover the
tab, damages, and tip. Which was the moment the drunk's pals started to realize
his condition and yelling at us. We began to run out the door, with MS taking
half-steps in that tight dress. Outside the door I see our driver and I shout:
"We gotta go!" and he jumps in the car. I hear grumbling behind us, and I
grab MS' hand as she begins to run. I hear another RIPPPPP of fabric, and
hear her say: "Aww, F#@K IT!" as she hikes up her skirt and goes full sprint,
ass-in-the-breeze, across the street. H3 passes us both and dives for the
car doors. We all three jump in the back like fools, landing on each other
as we make a getaway laughing. I look back to see about 15 people all flying
out of the bar towards us, and would've likely caught us in ten seconds.
I look over at MS who is laughing hysterically, and H3 worried the drunk
may have been dead. I assured him it wasn't that hard a fall – just
resting nicely. Or pining for the fjords. We decide – in my drunken
logic – to head to a residential area where I had a friend who would
love to meet H3 and always is partying. Being drunk and in a foreign place,
I wasn't sure about the exact location and our driver tried his best. Somehow
we wound up in what looked like a row under construction near the Belgravia
section of town. "Where the hell ARE we??", MS asked as we served as our
own bartenders. Both H3 and I shrugged, and the driver wisely decided to
pull over as we figured it out. MS said she really "needed the loo" so I
got out to look around for someplace she could go. The driver studied his
map, and H3 reminded us that the bodyguard – when he and HT ran away
in Rio – called the cops to find them. We hoped that wouldn't happen,
nor a run in with tabloids, but kept a lookout just in case.
440.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART SEVEN
Part Seven: About then MS jumps out of the car. She says she's got a cramp
and laughs while hopping around on one foot. It was then that everything
froze silent. Standing by the car, she noticed we were all looking at her
with a dazed look in our eyes. She turned to me and said, "What? What is
it? Is my makeup smeared?". Uh…no. In a slow, zombie-like manner, I
just nodded my head side to side. My mouth open. She looked down, catching
her reflection in the car's window. That's when she noticed it too –
that around the cleavage of her dress was a rip that ran about six inches
straight down her stomach, to the top of her undies. How did she not feel
the draft? Needless to say, she was very, very, VERY exposed. But being herself,
with that natural charisma – she adjusted herself and began laughing.
"Oh, well. So much for THAT I guess." Right in front of all of us, time seemed
to stand still. I stood there holding the door open, and she reached in and
grabbed my small backpack. She said she'd had it, been tired of fighting
to try and stay proper in this Marilyn Monroe-looking dress. Would I please
unzip her in the back? "Uhhh…WHAT?", I said. Yep. Unzip it please, she
was peeling off. And at her drunken request, I did just that. And she did
just that. And then I…oh, my. My goodness. Okay, stay calm. No big deal.
I was more concerned with someone seeing this, or thinking it was something
besides what it was. I started looking around for paparazzi or Japanese tourists
with Nikons. Thank heavens smart phones didn't exist back then or it would
be front page on TMZ. My God in heaven she really was beautiful. Like a statue
of Venus or something. Very blonde, and very tan. She reached over for my
bag and pulled out a concert t-shirt I'd snagged to take back for my sister.
This gorgeous naked woman shimmied, arms up, and put it on. Thank goodness
it was a large because it barely covered her…uh…her shoulders.
She grabbed a new pair of boxers from my bag, and my oversize button-down
shirt and leather jacket. Then voila! After she nicked a pair of sandals,
she looked like a fashionable surfer girl refugee from a punk camping trip.
Very chic, even if it looked like she had no pants on. A very crafty and
adaptable woman. She handed me the dress, and told me to keep it (!) as a
souvenir. Adding, "and you can tell all your mates that after you ripped
off my dress and ravaged me I was so enthralled I gave you the dress to remember
me by!". She erupted laughing. H3 and I looked at each other, eyes wide.
A fluff of the hair, an adjustment here and there – and we were ready
to roll again, off to the next stop. "Okay boys, you already got me out of
my clothes – so what's next?". I was about to slur an answer when we
saw a very nice car pass very slowly by us. Our driver says: "Oh hell! That's
a government car!". Confused, we asked him what he meant. He said that's
like an unmarked police car back in the states. A government car for cops
and important people. We thought the bodyguard back at the hotel got pissed
and called out MI-5 for us. Not good. Images of James Bond or Sherlock Holmes
out hunting for an abducted drunken rock drummer. We all hustled into our
backseat, and watched the car slow to a crawl – then stop ahead of us.
441.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/26 - PART EIGHT
Part Eight: Damn. Then, the rear door of that car opened and we all clearly
saw who it was getting out, alone. Our driver had been correct – it
was government, maybe even MI5 alright, but not for us. It was for (foreign
born permanent A+++ list celebrity), who we call L.D. - who was exiting that
car, alone. She looked nervously around, making eye contact with us in our
car, and tripped slightly on the curb. As she recovered herself, she raced
up the steps to a townhouse-looking place that had all the lights off. At
3am. By herself. None of us uttered a peep or even a breath. I'd seen something
when the lady stumbled, a little glint of light, but in my drunken mind knew
I saw something fall. I slowly exited our car, as my mates told me to get
back in. I walked over to the sidewalk, looking down…looking…and
saw it. Yep, it was an earring. L.D., in her hurry, had lost it when she
stumbled. Now H3 was out of the car, and I showed him too. I was bent down,
picking it up when a man opens the rear car door and exits from where she'd
been. He gets out and tells us to piss off. Very military in his demeanor,
but obviously surprised. He had no clue who we were, nor did we of him. At
that time anyway. I told him that his friend had dropped – "I told you
to piss off! Go! Now!", he barked. So I pocketed the fallen pearl earring,
and thought about offering it to the man. But how do you do so to a guy so
rude? H3 tugged my arm, and we went back to the car. The entire time being
stared down by that driver, that military-looking red-haired man, whom I'd
only see again in tabloids years later. Back in our car, we all kind of sat
there quietly, as our driver eased onto the street. I looked at H3, and MS
looked at me. "What? Was that who I think - " she asked. H3 and I both realized
we'd seen something we likely should not have, even though we could not say
for certain what was going on. We just both knew – even drunk –
that it wasn't something we wanted to discuss ever. But there was no question
who the lady was, which likely meant either press or cops would be in the
area (if not already hiding somewhere). We didn't need a scandal or drama.
I told our driver to go – forget about the side trips. MS said, "And
I'm all dressed up for nothing?" and laughed. We all made a pledge then and
there not to repeat anything we'd seen – or anything we'd thought we'd
seen. We all held to that promise until a tragic accident many years later
nullified our pact for us. We took H3 back to the hotel, and as it was past
4am, figured it was all quiet. Nope, nada. I let him out and thanked my pal
for a great time. He says he went in and went to sleep, but I have my doubts.
MS had decided to ride with me to the airport in the car. Our company's private
jet was there, waiting for me to depart. Actually it was waiting to fly all
the film canisters and recordings back to the US, but was nice enough to
wait on me. The entire ride out to the airport, MS and I became very close
friends. The seat divider raised all the way up. She was and is still truly
a remarkable woman. I didn't want to leave, and in my then-nineteen year-old
brain felt love and passion unlike any I'd known before. It was very passionate,
and probably as ecstatic as could be without total abandonment into full
consummation. She didn't have to fear a walk of shame, and even intoxicated
we both knew it was real. Still I tried everything to talk her into flying
to the states with me, and she tried to talk me into staying there. Literally
driving onto the runway at the general aviation terminal, the jet was ready
to take off. Almost like a scene out of one of those old movies where the
couple kisses before one boards the train for war – she and I shared
a lovely, tender kiss right there on the runway. Jet engines whirring, breeze
blowing around us, as the summer sun began to peep over the horizon. The
co-pilot yelled from the top of the steps, and broke us up. I thanked MS
for everything, and sorry if her good time was ruined. "You're joking, right?",
she said. "It was a MAGICAL night. One of my bests…ever." Glad I wasn't
the only one to feel that way. I loaded my guitar case and bags, and waved
goodbye as our driver returned Cinderella back home by sunrise. As we departed
and made it airborne, I realized I'd lost the t-shirt I'd grabbed for my
sister's gift. Then realized that MS was still wearing it. I couldn't stop
smiling. As there, in my hands, was that amazing dress of hers – ripped
and all. I had to laugh, and fell into a deep, deep sleep. Over the next
few years I got busier, and that band had ups and downs. Especially the singer
HT. Personal issues and problems had me worried about my friend. It wasn't
til several years later that I got word from him that he would be in Los
Angeles and wanted to catch up. Of course I would. He came in time for my
birthday, and we went out to dinner to celebrate. He told me he wanted to
try more acting, and if I could help him in that area of the biz. Sure I
could, and would. We wound up talking all night outside at my house on the
balcony. A few bottles of wine later, like vampires fleeing the sun, we decided
to reconvene around the holidays. He was proud to be a new father, and wanted
to get on with the next phase of his life. He knew I'd be there when he returned.
When we parted that early morning, before he got in the car to leave, he
said to me: "I think I'm going to like growing old if I can do it in style.
Never wanted to get old. Maybe this is where I need to do it – seems
to work for you". I told him he was a long way from old, and this was his
home if he wished. He called me "little brotha" and gave a hug. It would
be the last time I ever saw him. A month later, they found his body in his
room. All kinds of horrible conspiracies, gossip, and garbage about his death.
I know it was suicide, because nobody could kill my friend but himself. Nobody
could take his force of life from him, but him. It hurt and stung badly,
especially knowing we were going to soon be closer than before. It wasn't
to be, and like so many friends after him I replay his memories and crush
myself wondering if I could've only reached out...if I'd only known. Why
didn't he call me? But it's all for naught. He left a young child that he
was proud of and loved dearly; a band that misses him still; and a stunned
world who will forever recall his bright light. I still look at that final
parting shot of the video that night from the concert. It is a haunting look
from the singer, almost prophetic as he holds my guitar in a frozen frame.
I think he would've liked it. Even in death my friend is magnetic. Very recently,
the guitarist KG decided to auction off some of his guitars for charity.
It went very well, but there was one guitar noticeably absent from the offerings.
Probably because it is sitting – as I type this – in my living
room right now. And to this day? No one has played it, or even changed the
strings since that night HT strummed and banged it live at the close of that
show. A moment captured for eternity. Draped along the side curve of the
guitar, is a swath of glittering black cloth that used to be a dress. What's
left of it, anyway. The last time it covered a human body was MS, that night,
when she changed outside the pub. Atop that black shining dress is a small,
clear box with a single pearl earring inside. The one dropped by that now-gone
lady in her hurry into a friend's home that night, driven there by her
ginger-haired military lover on a secret leave. It too has never been in
another ear or worn by anyone else. Together they all make a little shrine,
dedicated to this night. A night that can never be repeated for all of eternal
history. Even that original stadium has been torn down and never will be
played again by anyone. Some epic nights remain those brief beautiful moments.
I'm so happy to see that MS recently announced a kicking new pop album, and
an upcoming tour. Still an amazing woman, beautiful, and a rocking pop genius.
She's now married happily with a family and works her garden when not spotting
aliens. Part of me will carry our moment together too, forever – in
my heart. She's worthy of the best and I'm honored to have been worthy of
her best, even for that moment that crazy night. I look back on those days
and hear the laughter, see the extravaganza, and feel the electricity from
those moments that make life worth living. To have lived through a moment
where the peak of perfection is captured live for all future generations
to witness. A moment of fun, power, and excitement. I was honored to be a
friend of those guys, and treasure it among my best moments. Yes, I smile
at it when I think of my departed friend, and that moment…that goes
on forever. That one mad, sad moment that was part of our friendship. As
is my ongoing friendship with H3 and the connection we still share. So that's
the story. With so many friends dying of causes, natural or unnatural –
I have found that life is never as certain as it should be. It takes work
and fortitude to live and keep going, no matter our hurts and struggles.
Sometimes we have to just make ourselves keep going to see the sun rise one
more day. No matter the pains, conditions, tragedies, and losses we all suffer
as humans; we can still look back at time when all was right with our worlds.
When that light shined, and we remember our reasons for living. In the faces
of our children or even in the memory of a magical moment 27 years ago. We
must all choose not to fade away, and not to burn out. Find the strength
in those memories that live forever. As our friend said, there's nothing
better we can do, than live forever. We must choose to live. Just live,
baby…live.
Band:
INXS
(Live at Wembley Stadium)
H3:
Jon
Farriss
Musical brain and major songwriter:
Andrew
Farriss
KG/band's guitarists and a multi-instrumentalist:
Tim
Farriss
HT/singer/front man:
Michael
Hutchence
Permanent foreign born A list model:
Helena
Christensen
Former A list singer who had several big hits in late 70's early 80's:
Blondie
Foreign born permanent A++ list singer:
David
Bowie
MS (foreign born woman who was known as a two-hit wonder in the U.S., from
a musical family):
Kim
Wilde
Foreign born A list singer who all of you know but never reached anything
close to A list here:
Kylie
Minogue
LD:
Diana,
Princess of Wales
Military-looking red-haired man:
James
Hewitt
442.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#1**
This foreign born Heidi Klum wannabe thinks she is pulling a fast one by
charging her soon to be husband $100K a month. Little does she know that
he is hooking up with multiple other people and that he is willing to abandon
the wedding plans if our wannabe keeps demanding more and more.
Shanina
Shaik/DJ Ruckus
443.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#2**
Everyone keeps asking when this foreign born permanent A list solo and in
a group singer is going to start seeing an improvement in his health. Probably
not ever unless he kicks that drug habit. His significant other is not helping
because she never tries to intervene.
Phil
Collins/Orianne Cevey
444.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#3**
The best bet for the biter of Beyonce is this A+ list mostly movie actress.
The thing is though that actress would probably tell you she did it out of
love, but she has a lot of anger inside her, so I would hesitate to believe
the love part of it.
445.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#4**
This one named rapper who is getting a divorce also supports several white
nationalist movements. It is where he met the woman he cheated on his wife
with and got pregnant. Logic
446.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#5**
This former child actor who also had other talents in the entertainment world
all of you know at least by his nickname is self medicating. He is also lashing
out at the man all of you know who raped him multiple times when he was a
tween.
Shad
"Bow Wow" Moss/Jermaine Dupri
447.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#6**
This former child actress turned tween actress turned adult celebrity is
probably A-/B+ list and you all know her name. She is having trouble getting
work since she was fired because of her drug use. Interesting thing about
her is that she has a recording she loves showing to people of this former
A list Disney actress who can't seem to make it as an adult, begging for
coke and willing to do anything or anyone for the coke.
Mischa
Barton
448.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#7**
You know that married one name actress that seems to always be making headlines?
Well, it turns out you might see her husband making headlines if he keeps
hooking up with these male escorts he is handing cash over to hand over fist.
Mo'Nique/Sidney Hicks
449.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#8**
This recently deceased, behind the scenes power managed the careers of many.
His client list included many of the biggest A-list stars of that era. The
immense power he wielded during his life was only eclipsed by his number
of vile actions. For starters, if you were male, and a barely legal office
assistant, mailroom boy, or otherwise worked for this mogul – you were
expected to cater to his sexual needs. The fact that the mogul was 3 times
your age, or that your sexual preference might be women, didn’t matter
to the mogul. The mogul also liked underage teens. For that he would be more
discreet. He would pay people who could bring them to a setup he had in another
state, outside the glare of Hollywood. If one of his clients got in trouble,
or needed help, our mogul did whatever was necessary. I mean whatever was
necessary. He would either make your problems disappear voluntarily, or
involuntarily. One of his biggest money-making clients liked his boys much
younger than our mogul. Many times over the years, our mogul had no moral
problem with helping that client to get out of trouble, or cover up his crimes.
This happened on a few occasions.
Sandy
Gallin
450.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#9**
The recent suicide of this K Pop star was because he was about to be outed
in a secret recording. He didn't have any money to pay the blackmailer.
Min-woo
Seo
451.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#10**
Speaking of being outed, this former tween singer turned adult mess is hiding
the fact that he is selling himself to older men again.
Aaron
Carter
452.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#11**
To make things try and look better, this permanent A+ list couple have removed
thousands of seats from the inventory of their upcoming shows. Look for groupons
coming soon. Jay Z/Beyoncé; Faith Hill/Tim McGraw
453.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#12**
If it hadn't been for a reporter calling out a venue, this former A- list
mostly television actor/accused rapist would have been earning some bucks
there. The venue tried to sneak it past everyone.
Danny
Masterson/"Satellite" in Silver Lake (Yashar Ali twitter)
454.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#13**
Her Words: Last night, after the news broke about a certain producer, an
actress ALL of you know who knows the producer as well as anyone sent me
this.
(thank you for all of your ongoing support. i Don’t know how Any of these meN sleep at night, but if there’s one thing that i Do know Is that what’s Done In the dark, always comes to lighT! xoxo
Sorry, I thought it was clever :D unfortch I will obviously not be making any comment whatsoever (for obvious reasons) and unfortch I feel as though the only way that legitimate stories can make the headlines regarding ____ is if others publicly speak on his behavior. _____ was truly like a 2nd father to me. But things changed. After the 2nd incident, i don’t know if I will ever be able to have children or have the family of my dreams.
People have been picking this scab for years. I just won’t be the
one who finally rips it off.)
Amanda
Bynes (Nickelodeon firing Dan Schneider)
455.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#14**
Apparently while this B list mostly television actress from a very hit almost
television show was passed out from partying, her foreign born boyfriend
cheated on her and this is why they split. So, not that he makes her party
nearly killing her, it was the cheating that finally got her to leave. Well,
now hopefully she can start to get healthy.
Natalia
Dyer (Charlie Heaton)
456.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#15**
Apparently a DNA test might be in order for this A- list mostly television
actress who back in the day had a franchise. There was a "break" that happened
just about the same time she got pregnant.
Jessica
Alba (Cash Warren) ("Fantastic Four")
457.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/27 **#16**
Dancing Boy Update: Here's another update about the forthcoming Dancing Boy
short - this one concerns an actor you all know. As I think I said, the story
is told in flashback. It begins though in the present day. After a brief
monologue about the public, private, and secret life of Hollywood (this is
a story of the latter), we cut to the Chateau Marmont, where the adult dancing
boy (likely now played by me) arrives with his boyfriend. They're there to
stage a bed-in, thronged by media, to get the former released from his NDA
with the studio (so he can tell his story). This update involves the actor
we're talking with about playing the boyfriend. As it happens, his breakout
role back in the day was (as with the first update) in a family friendly
comedy movie from the same decade, although later. The person with top billing
in this movie actually became famous for another movie/franchise a few years
earlier, and went on a few years later to be the nominee/winner of an award.
The clue for the actor in question (to be the boyfriend, I mean) concerns
an audition - probably the most important of his then young career. In it
he performs a song by a now permanent A list band which at the time was
controversial for some people in a certain part of the country (who felt
it offended their beliefs). That was ironic because the title was really
just an expression/saying from that part of the country. There's a video
of the actor singing this song, and talking about the audition. When you
figure it out it will all make sense about why him for this part/scene. I
don't know if he (as in another person referenced in a blind item a few months
ago, and in some way connected with the content of this update) will go through
with it, but if we are joined midway through the scene in question by him,
it could suggest that a longstanding rumor is true.
Actor:
Anthony
Rapp
Movie: "Adventures in Babysitting"
Actress: Elisabeth Shue (Nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role "Leaving
Las Vegas")
Song:
"Losing
My Religion" (for "Rent" audition)
A list band: R.E.M./Michael Stipe
Ironic from that part of the country:
Appalachia
458.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#1**
Desperate for more funds, this former child/teen actor who was mostly in
movies is resorting to cheap publicity stunts to try and raise more money
from what he hopes is a gullible public. Those vacations aren't going to
pay for themselves.
Corey
Feldman (stabbed with a syringe)
459.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#2**
This one named singer and her rapper boyfriend got into an argument with
another couple because they thought the other couple stole their coke. The
other couple insisted they didn't even use coke and the singer and rapper
became more aggressive to the point it was getting scary before the one named
singer finally found the coke in the bottom of her beach bag. No apology
though.
Halsey/Easy
G
460.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#3**
This married former naked celebrity turned reality star turned porn star
turned reality star is getting really serious with a whale from Vegas she
met while being his casino companion. Apparently she has moved into a place
out there he owns even though he is rarely there.
Kendra
Wilkinson
461.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#4**
This A- list director/producer spent a great deal of money that was not his
on drugs and women. He is scrambling to come up with what he took.
Morgan
Spurlock
462.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#5**
This "fashion" rapper couldn't stand to attention with a woman if he tried
so his wife got pregnant through artificial means.
Gucci
Mane/Keyshia Ka’Oir
463.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#6**
This permanent A list mostly movie actor who was a recent Academy Award
winner/nominee is stepping into a very recent controversy by telling this
A list couple they need to clear his "second wife" or he will make life difficult
for the A list couple. He is one of the very few who could do that.
Denzel
Washington/Sanaa Lathan (Jay Z/Beyoncé - Sanaa accused of biting
Beyoncé’s face)
464.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#7**
This current MTV star is being paid by his ex to keep his mouth shut about
the paternity of a child. The ex has not told her current significant other
she is doing this.
465.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#8**
Want to have sex with a female teen who is barely a teen? Want her to be
experienced? Want to make sure you are not arrested? Is it no wonder this
former A list singer stays in demand and is not blacklisted for his past?
It is because he provides a service to other singers/rappers/celebrities
and politicians. They come to wherever he is living and get to spend an hour
or a night with one of the string of teens he has groomed. He still sings
and still gets really good songs because of this side gig. He also knows
he won't get arrested because of the people taking advantage of his services
and also he knows that if he sticks to teens of color, the police and parents
tend to turn the other way. Currently he only has six teens, but he is looking
to expand, but needs a bigger place and also needs to remain in the same
city because it is where his customers have the most influence. Yes, that
was the CEO of a top 50 company out with one of the singer's groomed teens.
Why yes, that was this old, permanent A list mostly movie actor out with
one of them too.
R.
Kelly (Chicago, Illinois)
466.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#9**
This foreign born A+ list mostly movie actor has a franchise. He has the
power to do something about the increased visibility of this sexual
assaulter/woman beater who is a B+ list actor. Instead, the foreign born
actor is fully on board with a new promotional push featuring the sexual
assaulter.
Ryan
Reynolds/T. J. Miller ("Deadpool 2")
467.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#10**
This foreign born A list mostly movie actor is an Academy Award winner/nominee.
Apparently he hired an escort two nights ago. She says she walked out though
because he hadn't showered in what looked like a week. He was drunk and said
she needed to drop a couple pounds. Umm, he could stand to drop about 100
pounds. Anyway, when she made a move to leave, he grabbed her by the arm
and started calling her a c**t and a wh**e. He is vile.
Russell
Crowe
468.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#11**
This permanent A list country singer is cheating on his wife with a woman
who works at his record label.
Garth
Brooks ("Pearl Records");
Toby
Keith ("Show Dog-Universal Music");
Clint
Black ("Equity Music Group")
469.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#12**
There was an "athlete" who was recently arrested for trying to have sex with
a child. Well, he started naming some names to try and cut a deal. One of
the names he named is A+ list in that same sport.
Rick
Crawford (former NASCAR Camping World Truck Series driver)
470.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#13**
This mini me Ryan Seacrest wannabe is married and this A-/B+ list mostly
movie actress called him out on it when he tried to hit on the actress who
has actually kept herself sober the past few weeks while promoting her new
movie.
Mario
Lopez/Bella Thorne ("Extra")
471.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#14**
This still A list singer who deserves to be out of work because of what he
did in the past and continues to do offered his ex $100K if she would just
come to his house for a few hours. Now, his ex has been known to yacht a
time or six, but she said no. She said she feared he wouldn't let her leave
and if she tried, he might kill her.
Chris
Brown/Karrueche Tran
472.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#15**
Apparently this A list singer got lectured on her coke use by this permanent
A list singer who is working with her. The permanent A lister would know
a thing or two about the subject from his experiences back in the day.
Lionel
Richie/Katy Perry ("American Idol")
473.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/28 **#16**
A Reader's Blind Item: Although I have lived a rather sedate and quiet life,
my acquaintances are always asking me to tell stories about the numerous
celeb encounters that I have experienced. Here are some of those, written
in CDAN, HIMMM style: Back in the day, I lived in Africa and my parents sent
me to a posh boarding school. Because I had an American passport, I was excused
from taking Afrikaans classes—which were mandatory for citizens. The
only other person in my grade with this exemption was someone I will refer
to as GS, who was born in America too. While everybody else suffered taking
a language none of them wanted to learn, we wiled away our time in the school
library, reading newspapers and chatting. GS, who had a Quaker background,
was for some reason exempt from all the mandatory sports and activities the
rest of us were subjected to, and went home earlier than practically everyone
else since he lived nearby. After a while he and some fellow students cleaned
out an unused storage area, got a key, and put their instruments in it, where
they practiced during lunch. Later on, GS moved to the States to avoid the
draft and became a permanent A-List, pot-loving rocker. When he made it big
in the mid-1990s I didn’t even recognize him. A couple of years prior
to GS making it big, I will still in Africa doing work deep in the Kalahari
desert. One very hot summer day, as noon approached, I was dying for a cold
drink—truly a luxury out there in the middle of nowhere where there
was no electricity. Pulling my 4 Wheel Drive into a village, I turned the
engine off to hear if there was a generator somewhere nearby—the tell-tale
sign of a bar. Sure enough, I heard it buzzing in the distance and made my
way over. My assistant and I then parked outside the bar, and then went in.
The only other patron I instantly recognized—an A List mostly movie
actor, who I will call "IC" who had fairly recent brought back an iconic
superhero to the big screen. Taken aback by his presence at this spot, I
exclaimed, "what the hell are you doing out here?" IC, who was nursing a
luke-cold brewski while looking chic in some expensive designer sportswear
and athletic sandals, told me that he had recently sponsored some biologists
who had made a major discovery—one of the biggest caves ever found
containing this animal related to his superhero character. Taking a break
from the rigors of Hollywood, he had come out to Africa and spent a week
camping out in this secret cave in the middle of nowhere. Fast forward another
decade or so, and my life took me back to America, where I took up residence
in the southern Hollywood, Atlanta. My employers, a well-known chain store,
deployed me into the ritziest Black neighbourhood of town, just north of
the airport, where the typical residence ran at 1 million and up. Over the
course of time I would encounter practically the entire athletic, political,
and entertainment leadership of Atlanta, up very close indeed. Probably the
craziest of all the encounters I had was with this crucifix-wearing A List
rapper AM, who has since evolved into a multi-threat celebrity. AM had recently
had a baby with his C-list Baby Mama, necessitating an endless set of runs
to our store to pick up prescriptions for the two. Being a celeb, AM preferred
the drive thru, but on one windy day his $20 bill was blown out of his hand
before he could get it into the drive thru tray, and it vanished in the breeze
out into a nearby field, apparently never to be seen again. AM was outraged,
insisting that the loss of money was our fault since he had tried to pay.
After I spoke to him in the drive thru through a microphone, he remained
incensed when I told him he had to pay for his prescriptions. He then sped
into the parking lot, and then entered the store with two members of his
posse, whereupon they tracked me down, forced me into a corner, and tried
to intimidate me into giving up the prescriptions without further payment.
A similarly frightening encounter that I had was with another paranoid A-list
rapper, GB. GB would also come to our pharmacy drive thru regularly, and
hand in a shopping list which he would demand to have filled and scanned
while he waited outside in his car awaiting a call on his cell to come and
pay. Inevitably I would be called in, and would refuse to perform this, although
once or twice I obliged when he only wanted some milk. One time, when GB
was in a particularly bad mood, he picked up a big Magnum-style revolver
and waved it around while he yelled at me through the intercom. Most of the
time, he would give up and walk in the store, whereupon nobody even gave
him a second glance even though he feared being hassled by customers. Of
all the multitudes of star power that I witnessed, only one celeb ever brought
the customers and business to a complete stand still. This petite mega hot
foreign-born B-List model/mostly movie actress had the figure of the animated
Jessica Rabbit from the Who Framed Roger Rabbit franchise, with huge boobs
and ass along with a tiny waist. On the day she arrived with several of her
booty-shaking colleagues to pick up some supplies, all were wearing rather
tight-fitting clothing. Nothing happened until they all checked out.
Musician GS:
Dave
Matthews
Actor IC: Val
Kilmer ("Batman Forever"/1995)
Rapper AM:
Ludacris
Rapper GB: CeeLo Green ("Gnarls Barkley")
Model/actress:
Melyssa
Ford
474.
POPBITCH
03/29
(British blog)
Which 90s actress has been left with such taut skin after her most recent
facelift that she’s finding it hard to totally shut her eyes? An eye-mask
takes care of the problem at night, and she’s found that sunglasses
during the day are a big help. But while her surgeon has told her the skin
will relax a little soon, some of her friends are warning her not to get
any moore.
Demi
Moore
475. NEW
YORK POST/PAGE SIX 03/29
1. Which society lady was pulled over by the cops when driving, and the officers
were shocked to see she is classed as "male" on her driver’s license.
It is not clear if it was a mistake or a revelation? Jocelyn
Wildenstein
2. Which top publishing exec was drunkenly taking selfies with everyone in
sight at SXSW?
3. Which TV star is so out of control she fired her longtime publicist,
then had to eat humble pie a week later while hiring the publicist back?
4. Which publicist is so nasty that filmmakers are choosing not to cast his
talent to avoid dealing with him? Simon Halls (Matt Bomer’s
husband)
5. Which 40-something journalist just got her AARP card after putting the
wrong age on a private page of her Facebook profile?
476.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#1**
This foreign born A-/B+ list mostly movie actor was probably A list when
his long running franchise was still rolling. Since then, there has not been
a lot of success. It also looks like he is back on the bottle in a big way
and showed up to support a friend at a premiere while on a crazy multi day
bender.
Daniel
Radcliffe ("Harry Potter")/Billy Crudup
477.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#2**
It looks like the ex of this former A list singer was right to stay far away
from him. The singer, who is mixing drugs and booze would have probably killed
a woman this week if her friends had not been there to intervene.
Karrueche
Tran/Chris Brown
478.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#3**
Usually our A+ list mostly movie actor collects a fee from modeling agencies
trying to boost the fees of some of their models. This one is new though.
Our actor was being paid directly by a model to increase her yachting fees
for this summer. She wasn't getting much traction and would have just been
one of many. Now, she is in really high demand.
Leonardo
DiCaprio
(Camila
Morrone)
479.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#4**
A very rare spotting of this closeted A list football player and his boyfriend
at a public event. They usually do not emerge together anywhere there might
be cameras.
Aaron
Rodgers
480.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#5**
This former stripper turned celebrity turned reality star turned escort has
not been giving a cut of her escorting business to a relative who has been
basically stalking her to get the money owed.
Blac Chyna
(Tokyo
Toni)
481.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#6**
This former child rapper/actor isn't really married. He will literally do
anything to get an ounce of publicity. It wouldn't shock me if he ended up
under some type of 5150 hold in the next few months.
Shad
(Bow Wow) Moss/Kiyomi
482.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#7**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee
continues to try and mount a comeback. He recently sent over a hooker/stripper
to a soon to be co-star to congratulate him on landing the part.
Mel Gibson/Rob
"Gronk" Gronkowski
483.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#8**
A Reader Blind Item: The year was 1989. It was my birthday and a girlfriend
decided to take me to that famous LA underground club that changed locations
weekly. We got there, I in my sky blue skin tight mini dress and hair up
to here, innocent and unknowing as to what the evening would hold. I was
immediately adopted by this 24 year old grandson of a very famous studio
head who was already gone but still remains extremely well known to this
day. He reminded me of the singer of REM. Ha. He made sure to tell everyone
I was "legal" so naturally every single person had to buy me a drink. I was
not a drinker. He then asked me if I was interested in going to the VIP room.
Why not, so he grabbed my hand and off we went upstairs. He asked which VIP
room I wanted to go in. I asked what the difference was. He said there were
two film wrap parties so I said whichever one seems more fun and let him
decide (here's me from OC with zero idea.) Room #1 had the weirdest
conglomeration of famous people. The film was horror, complete with a monster.
It starred a famous ballet dancer. I was offered drugs by almost everybody,
I was rather shocked but I declined because I didn't do them. A older man
who was famous for quite a few TV/films in the 60s was there, he was not
doing drugs and offered to share his pizza with me so I did. We chatted and
ate and had a great time. Until I went to the bathroom. Nobody warned me
that was where the harder stuff was, and the weirdos. The guy who played
the monster swore I was in the film, that he had killed me in the last scene.
I said no, not an actress. A director overheard us and came over to ask me
if I was interested in acting. I said no. He gave me his card anyway. My
friend took it and tossed it LOL. Then an actor famous for certain comedies
back in the 70s bugged me to do coke with him. I again declined. I think
this again impressed my new friend who stayed by my side and kept watch.
Many people asked for an intro but I still didn't even know who he was. Soon
the people in the room were asking me about myself, my life, where I lived,
etc. They were shocked I wasn't in entertainment and had no desire to be
and found my boring life to be enthralling! Crazy. Soon my friend grabbed
my hand and took me to the other VIP room. This film that wrapped was much
higher on the success scale and had several of its costars present. It was
a comedy drama and had several memorable lines, one of which I repeat to
this day regarding licensing for adult activities. The room was more of the
same, only there were several people in there who were with same sex dates
and I had NO IDEA they were gay!!!! I am not going to out them but it was
very shocking, let me say. Everybody was very nice to me because of my friend
whom someone had informed me who he was at the bar when he stepped away.
It didn't change anything for me, he was near my age and was very nice to
me and we were having fun. He asked me if I was interested in being his date
for the premiere for this movie and I said why not. He chuckled at me because
I was not impressed in the people postulating and more interested in talking
about music which he loved. Soon we went back downstairs because the band
started. My friend said nothing about who was performing but when we got
there the guy onstage was wearing this weird combination straitjacket/corset,
lots of femme makeup, and the performance was very dramatic. Not really my
thing. I had a guy I was interested in meet me at the club so I said goodbye
to my friend and set off for a romantic adventure. Hollywood is really freaking
weird, and that was just one memorable evening. The premiere is another
story.
24 year old grandson of a very famous studio head: Tony Goldwyn
(grandfather: Samuel Goldwyn)
Famous ballet dancer: Mikhail Baryshnikov
Movie: "The Cabinet of Dr. Ramirez"
Comedy Drama movie: "Parenthood"
Quote: "You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive
a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any
butt-reaming asshole be a father." (Keanu Reeves)
484.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#9**
This former A+ list mostly movie actor who actually was the lead a couple
times is A- list now. You all know him. Some very big hit movies in his resume.
His thing as of late is to send his much much younger wife to yoga classes
to try and pick up threesome partners. Jeff Goldblum (Emilie
Livingston)
485.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#10**
This foreign born former A- list rapper who has some serious nomination/wins
to her credit is trying to make a comeback after a very quiet few years.
Knowing her, she will make a big splash and I think she is going to spill
a lot about an affair she had with this permanent A+ list rapper because
she hates him and his wife.
M.I.A.
(Jay Z/Beyoncé)
486.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#11**
This A list singer/reality judge was being the biggest diva/control freak
to her employees who she now takes everywhere. She was just plain rude to
staff at a store who were doing their best to meet her demands. It is like
she watched Devil Wears Prada again and just really wants to be Miranda.
Katy
Perry
487.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#12**
This A- list mostly movie actress is filming a new movie while waiting for
her box office bonanza to be released. She is also taking every opportunity
during filming to snort white powder. No one has been able to identify if
it is coke or heroin.
Amber
Heard (filming "Run Away With Me") (box office bonanza
"Aquaman")
488.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#13**
This three named actress who remarkably is not named Evan Rachel Wood separated
from her long time husband for a few weeks. Apparently he is back in the
house, but things are shaky. Candace Cameron-Bure/Valeri Bure; Sarah Jessica
Parker/Matthew Broderick; Sarah Michelle Gellar/Freddie Prinze Jr.
489.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/29 **#14**
Apparently one of the reasons The Church is breeding their own so to speak
and abducting new victims at such a young age is to make sure no one has
any sexually transmitted diseases. They restrict the movement of those old
enough to leave the grounds and are monitored when they are allowed to leave.
They want no possible diseases brought into their world that could threaten
their way of life. Apparently, there was a pro golfer not named Tiger Woods
who visited their sex clinic not even two years ago and he spread an infection
to multiple women there. They vowed to never let that happen again.
ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/29/18 **THE FRENCH QUARTER**
490. A READERS BLIND:
PART
ONE:
It was a typical Louisiana spring 20 years ago. Hot, humid, and rainy most
afternoons. I was separated from my husband at the time, so to earn extra
income, I took a low paying job as payroll manager for a security guard company.
Yet I got the greatest perks of any job I would ever have before or after.
You see, occasionally we would provide guard services for movies filming
in the area. And the jovial owner (now R.I.P.) allowed me to act as an unpaid
'supervisor' on some sets. When we got a call one day for services on a major
studio production which would star my favorite adolescent heartthrob I'll
call TM I just knew this was one I HAD to "work" on. I had even kissed the
famous denim jacketed poster on my wall and now I had the chance to see him
in person? Hell, yeah, I was going! The movie was a fictionalized account
based on a Permanent A++ celebrity's rise to international fame in spite
of his weakness for a certain something. The first filming location in NOLA
was a Friday night near the French Quarter on the Moonwalk. I and some guards
got there about 5 for a 6 pm shift change. The pivotal scene they were shooting
that date was going to be a night one, but setup can take hours. I walked
around talking to our other guards who were out there already to ask what
and who they'd seen. Of course I had to ask if they had seen my permanent
A list former teen idol anywhere or if they knew when he'd show up. I don't
exactly have a quiet voice so in spite of the hubbub a cameraman overheard
me and said, "He's off tonight. He's not in this scene." My heart sank. When
the guy saw my face he said, "But most of the main cast will be filming at
Oak Alley (Plantation) tomorrow." Well now I knew what my Saturday's plans
would involve! I decided to see the sights and enjoy the evening for a while.
I did see the now deceased A++ award nominated/winning director talking to
an assistant on the levee. Didn't recognize anyone else. Right as it was
getting dark, it started to drizzle. I noticed a lot of the crew was heading
toward the closed off parking lot of a Catholic church/school with a lot
of food trucks inside. I was told that anyone with the crew was welcome,
so I and a cop friend headed there. The rain was really starting to come
down by then. My mind was blown when I saw what was being served from those
trucks. There was LOBSTER, Chateaubriand, gumbo, hot dogs, etouffee, salads,
baked Alaska, almost everything you could imagine or desire. You just walked
around with your plates and it was served up, to be eaten inside the school
cafeteria. While I was in the steak line, a limo pulled into the lot and
stopped. I saw the driver jump out, pop open an umbrella and say something
to the passenger. I then hear a very familiar drawl say, "Tony, I learned
to hold an umbrella and get my own food 40 odd years ago, son. You do NOT
need to do it for me. Go park this thing and come get some supper honey!"
The rain was slacking off, so the umbrella was left in the car, and the
incredibly talented A++ mega-award nominated/winning actress in most formats
gets out and walks over near the food line I was in. Let's call her AW. On
her way she's saying " Hows it going Jake? " or "Hey Sue!" - just friendly
small talk with assistants, bit players, electricians, etc. I was just amazed
at how "normal" she was. I went inside the cafeteria a few minutes later
to sit at a table where I saw some of the guards. I told them who I'd seen
outside. And as if on cue, she came through the door being held open by a
guy in coveralls. Had her hands full, and came and sat down at the long table
right next to ours. She was the only star I recognized in the room, just
sitting surrounded by "regular folk". I avoided staring, but couldn't help
overhear. She was telling someone how she didn’t want to eat in her
damn trailer, just felt like getting out and about before she had to do her
scenes. Obviously she seemed more at home amongst blue collar workers than
Hollywood elites. Though I loved her movies before that evening (especially
that particular tasty named one almost all Southern females adore) I suddenly
became a huge admirer of this down to earth famous woman sitting a few feet
away. Though I didn't want to bother her for an autograph like a few people
did, I timed my own eating so I finished just as she was getting up. I threw
away my stuff and as she headed for the doors, I held it open. Then I got
my nerve and said, "Miss ----, I'm DP with XYZ Security. I have to say, you
are one of my favorite actresses and its been an honor just to eat dinner
in the same place. Hope you're enjoying it here" She looked at me, grinned
and said, "Oh D, been in New Orleans so many times, just love it here! And
thank YOU by the way." I replied puzzled, " For what?" "For not saying you're
my number one fan..." We both laughed so loud people turned to look. She
patted me on the shoulder and went back out in the night to Tony who was
waiting near the doorway with the car. I was thrilled later on when this
role merited her more major awards/nominations since I was "there" when she
did it. It turned out to be a great time even if I hadn't seen TM. But I
still might have my chance at Oak Alley...
PART
TWO:
The next morning, though I didn't get home till 1 a.m., I was up bright and
early. Actually Oak Alley Plantation was closer to my house than the Quarter.
I put on my favorite dress and just enough makeup so it wouldn't run in the
humidity. Just in case I might happen to see TM and he might see me too!
Yeah and if wishes were fishes, right? Minutes before I left I got called
by a guard on my pager. Louise had left their badge at home so she asked
me to pick it up and I did. I was driving past the row of famous oaks before
noon. Sun was out and muggy but weatherman had predicted late afternoon showers.
This location seemed way busier than the previous night. Seemed like over
a couple hundred people with the crew were there and I noticed several very
nice RVs and camper trailers parked near the mansion. I got out and started
looking for the guard whose badge I retrieved. Saw a different one and I
asked him where Louise was. He told me she was posted right near the back
doors but I should hurry because they'd announced filming was going to start
in about 10 minutes. I started walking as fast as I could towards the back.
As I came around the corner I almost collided into an older gentleman sitting
in a chair. I was so embarrassed and profusely offered my apologies. Then
I realized who I'd literally bumped into. A+ (now passed) mostly TV actor
who had one of the most iconic villainous roles on TV ever. He chuckled and
said "Don't worry about it darlin'! No harm done. For a short little thing
you sure move fast!" A lady sitting next to him who I later found out was
his wife of over 40 years was laughing too. I smiled, said "You are too kind
Mr. N! Thank you." I hurried off and found Louise about 3 minutes before
someone called "Quiet on the Set!" As I walked back near the front where
they weren't filming at the time, I saw a group of people I knew and headed
towards them, pulling a pack of smokes and a lighter out my purse. Right
after I lit my cigarette, a pretty blonde lady wearing no makeup, shorts
and a long man's style button down shirt came up to me. "Excuse me" she said
in a British accent. "May I bum one from you please?" "Sure." I said as I
handed her one and the Bic. " Thank you so much" she replied as she took
a long drag. "Left mine over in the trailer and its so muddy there. How DO
you handle this humidity? Like breathing underwater." I nodded and said "Air
Conditioning." She grinned, said "Thanks again sweet", as someone was coming
up to her with a script. I walked over to my friends. One of them said "
Oh my God D" I went "what?" He goes, "do you realize who that is?" I replied
she looked really familiar but not positive. " Damn girl, that was ST, she
won an Oscar a couple years ago for _____, she's playing TM's wife in this!
" (She would also go on to several more noms/wins and end up starring in
my personal ATF Christmas romantic comedy) I was shocked. Me, no one special,
talking to 3 world famous stars in less than 24 hours. They were all very
nice to me too, but the teen girl in me still yearned to see TM in person.
But if I didn't get to, oh well, c'est la vie. Realized I had a storied star
filled weekend to remember for the rest of my life. No regrets...yet.
PART
THREE:
That afternoon I walked around, checked roll to make sure everyone was there
who was supposed to be, reported any non crew/staff affiliated lookee-lous
as we called them, and brought drinks or snacks to those who couldn't leave
posts. I would also watch a post if they had to step away for a bathroom
break. It was during one of these sit-ins in late afternoon that I would
overhear something that changed the whole outcome of my quest. Guards and
other non-essential staff were not allowed inside the mansion when filming.
They were to be on the outside porches or in the lawn area. But as Lance
came back he was breathless. Even though he was twice my age he always called
me Miss D. "Miss D, hey, you aint gonna believe this, but I just seen TM
come out the side doors of the house and Loreen says she heard they was takin
him to the makeup trailer. (He wore a lot to make him resemble the real person
he was based upon) She's sayin if you go by the RVs maybe you can catch a
glance of him coming out." Yes dear readers my cover was obviously blown
and every employee of my company knew why I was "on the job". And they all
now seemed to be determined to make my wish come true. (Too bad Mr N's previous
TV character's wife wasn't around!) I asked if I could get near the RVs or
did the studio have their private security covering it. "Hell no Ms D, Captain
Bill over there. Them Hollywood folks got bit by one skeeter standin around
and they booked ASS! And it aint even dusk yet! Buncha woosies!" Thats all
I needed to hear - Bill, a retired military man, was gruff but had a fatherly
soft spot for me. He would let me go anywhere I pleased. So off toward the
trailers I went. I found Bill and asked which was the makeup one and he pointed
it out. "Was TM still in there?" "Maybe, not positive, been a while. " Ok,
so not too specific but best lead all day. He pointed out a nice rig a few
feet away. "Go stand over there so won't look like you're stalking him if
you see him coming out." Ok, good idea. So I stood by the luxury trailer
and fired up another smoke. ( it was the 90s, ok?). Minutes later, door to
that one opens and this red headed big muscle-bound guy steps out with a
cigar in hand. "Mind if I join you?" He looked safe enough, and Bill was
a cough away just in case. "Not at all." "Hi I'm Mark, who are you?" Told
him my name and I that I was an onsite security rep. Showed him my badge
to prove it. He laughed and said I was the most petite security woman he'd
ever met. Told him I used the bigger guards for my light work. He laughed.
Then I asked him what he did. "Oh, I'm TMs personal trainer, bodyguard,
assistant, you know, whatever." My eyes widened, "So is this one HIS?" "Yup
he'd prefer his plane but nowhere to land by the house." He chuckled. I said
"Wow, very cool. Wouldn't happen to have any souvenir headshots around in
there?" He paused and said "hmmm not sure". Then I just started talking and
couldn't hit the verbal brakes. I said, "You know I've been a fan of his
since his first episode of (hit education-based comedy). Over 20 years and
it seems like almost every movie he does he gets better in. (So I exaggerated
a bit..) For example just a couple of weeks ago I saw ----- at the movieshow.
He and (then A+ actor from major acting dynasty family) were so incredible
in it switching roles I sincerely believe they should give BOTH of them Oscars
as co-Lead Actor. They both deserve it!" (Yes over the years I realize its
somewhat of a hokey flick and plot but still love it). Suddenly I hear a
low quiet voice from inside the trailer say, " Aw, that is so nice of you
to say that. " I turn as the door opens wide. "I really appreciate the
compliment. Thank you, thank you so much.". And then I'm looking into the
most incredibly crystal blue eyes I've ever seen to this day. They were so
light blue I'm convinced he wears darker lenses for movies. TM is inches
away and smiling at ME! His hair looked damp but still had gray color in
it and he had a towel around his neck. He was wearing a plain white tee and
jeans. I, a woman who could out talk an auctioneer, was stunned speechless.
I had to be visibly trembling. He was even more gorgeous in person than on
film. He put out his hand. "Hi, I'm T..what's yours?" I shook it and WAS
shaking now. But I think he was used to reactions like mine. I stammered
, "Uh, I'm D--, D-- P---." " "Well, pleasure to meet you D.P. So by your
accent I assume you're a true Cajun lady, huh?" I could only smile and nod.
"Love hearing the way you all talk down here. Y'all almost sound like you're
from where I was raised in New York." I kind of giggled at that, and replied
how NOLA natives hear that all the time. I glanced around and noticed Bill,
Lance, and a few other of our guards a few yards away, looking at the two
of us, all grinning. Out the corner of my sight I also noticed Lance's wife
Coral and two kids. They always picked him up from jobs. She had a camera.
Right about then TM says, "Hey Mark, got a few of those promo pics on the
table inside. Go get one for our friend here please?" Mark goes inside as
my mouth starts functioning with my brain again. We made some small talk
about local favorite dining spots. Told him about one well known as a Mafia
hangout that looked like a dive outside but had the best pasta in the South.
He said he'd actually heard about it and was definitely going to go before
they wrapped down here. I felt a couple of rain drops as Mark came out with
the photo of him in character and a pen with gold ink. TM leans it against
the wall and signs it. "To D--, with thanks and love, T....M..." He handed
it to me. "Here you go." At that point as it starts drizzling, Coral comes
running up. "Hey Miss D. , Mr. M? Is it okay if I take a picture of y'all
together?" I looked at him. He said, " Sure! Scoot closer D." and he put
his arm around me. DAMN, I was trembling again! As I'm only 5' and he's like
6'2" my head didnt even come to the top of his shoulder so he hugged me and
I prayed I was smiling pretty as she pressed the button. "Hang on D, one
more just in case!" He had the nicest smile cause he had so much practice
obviously. I told him thanks Soooo much, and he said "my pleasure! Enjoyed
talking with you" as he leaned over and kissed my cheek. I seriously think
I blushed for the first time since grade school. Then Coral says, "Hey Lance,
come 'ere! Mr. M, can me and the kids get a picture with you?" My good natured
movie star was grinning and said, "Yep! Come over!" as suddenly several people
appeared out of nowhere, guards, extras, and even youngsters. Though it was
now seriously raining he never seemed to mind as they ended up taking the
whole roll of film of admirers with him. Finally Mark came up and said the
limo was ready to go back to town and they needed to split. There was an
audible "awww" of disappointment as he waved to everyone and started heading
back to the trailer to get his things. He passed right in front of me, and
tapped my cheek and winked. "Bye D." using my shorter nickname and then he
disappeared inside as a policeman said we all had to leave the area since
they'd be pulling off in a minute. I walked away in a daze, surrounded by
friends saying, "You really met him!" "We got our picture with TM!" "He's
so cool!" "He kissed you D!" I barely heard them as I walked on air back
to my car. To this day it still seems like a wonderful dream if I didn't
have the autograph and pictures to prove that once upon a time it came true.
P.S. I am well familiar with all the rumors about this gentle man over the
years. I will not confirm/deny or even state my own gut instincts on the
subject. Because I. Don't. Care.-What consenting adults do if no one gets
hurt is none of my business. We all have secrets. I just know he was amazingly
nice to me and a bunch of other minimum wage earning fans one hot, wet Louisiana
day and that's what's important, right?
TM:
John Travolta
MOVIE: "Primary Colors" (Bill Clinton)
A++ award nominated/winning director: Mike Nichols
A++ mega-award nominated/winning actress: Kathy Bates
A+ (now passed) mostly TV actor: Larry Hagman (J. R. Ewing on "Dallas") (wife:
Maj Axelsson)
ST: Emma Thompson (Best Actress in a Leading Role "Howards End") (Christmas
movie: "Love Actually")
491.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#1**
This daytime talk show host is still boozing it up during her show and combining
it with whatever medication she has swallowed that day. It makes for a very
unpredictable reaction and interaction with guests and crew. Wendy
Williams
492.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#2**
This former state politician turned national news maker is on pins and needles
right now because the way the press are digging into one particular story,
they might discover that on a certain trip he and his female staffer shared
one hotel room. The staffer is single, but our former politician is
married.
493.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#3**
Himmmm: It's been a while since this (former A list mostly movie actress
who is a multiple Academy Award winner/nominee) has done any acting of note.
Her entire career really went over a cliff when she and this director tried
to make their passion project which was so bad it helped sink an entire studio.
He says he's never claimed to be a genius auteur, but could barely get any
work after allowing her to make all the decisions for them both back then.
Last week, she called him at the office. He put it on speaker phone, and
I heard every word. She tried to convince her ex, this same director, that
they should re-team and do a new project together. She swore it would re-ignite
both their careers. She even hinted that they could "re-ignite our own passions
too". The Director looked like he'd seen a ghost; he adamantly refused, and
told her he'd spent nearly 15 years having to rebuild his own career from
scratch all because he let her dictate that disaster of a movie to him. He
politely wished her well, and after ending the call, he put her number in
the "Blocked" list of his mobile phone. I told him I doubt the world would
weep for that reunion.
Geena
Davis/Renny Harlin ("Cutthroat Island")
494.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#4**
Himmmm: One thing that we forgot to share back during the Oscars came back
across our radar recently. At a pre-Oscars party hosted by a big talent agency
in Coldwater Canyon, this (A+ list action director) was sneaking around outside
to meet up with this (former reality star turned A-/B+ list mostly television
actress), who was ditching her companion. She and the Director were making
out and doing some heavy fooling around, and assumed they were unseen by
others. But their plan was transformed when this (A- list mostly movie comic
actor who started out on television) stumbled upon them while looking for
a place to make out with his own pickup for the night. Being drunk, high,
or obnoxious – the funny guy thought he was funny in acting like he
was going to announce his discovery of the couple to the whole party. The
Director shut that down with a sharp punch to the gut, and a severe threat.
After recovering, the not-so-funny guy went around spilling the news to everyone
there, who were happy to mock her since she's earning a reputation as a coucher
and climber. The Director had already left, and the actress/singer was forced
to endure the whispers and laughs the rest of the night.
A+ list action director: Michael Bay
Former reality star turned A-/B+ list mostly television actress: Katharine
McPhee
A- list mostly movie comic actor who started out on television: David
Spade
495.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#5**
Himmmm: This (foreign born A list selfie taking model/wannabe actress who
recently got a role) recently ran into this (A+ list mostly movie actor)
on a night out. She tried to cuddle up to him and purr in his ear, asking
him if he wants to "spend some time" with her. He acted like she had a disease.
(And she very well may, but no more than him). He physically recoiled, snarled
his lip, held up his hands and told her: "No thanks – I don't like to
take the same road twice. Aren't you like, married or something?". He then
left her dumbfounded and shocked as he shook his head walking away, leaving
her to wallow in her apple-tini and desperation. Emily Ratajkowski/Robert
Pattinson (FIJI Water at the 33rd Annual Film Independent Spirit
Awards)
496.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#6**
Himmmm: This (A- list mostly television actress on a long running network
sitcom) confessed over lunch recently that being single again is not what
she'd hoped it would be. "This is the longest I've gone without getting laid
since I lost my virginity", she said. She then proceeded to list all the
guys, married and single, who have asked her out recently. She said they're
all looking for a mother or a maid, and that's not her. She then stunned
her lunch partner by bragging about the satisfying online video chat sex
she's been enjoying recently with strangers. "Some even say I look like that
actress on that show and I tell them I get that all the time", and she laughed.
With total horror, her friend asked her why she'd risk exposure with something
like that? "It's totally safe, and it's not like those things are
recorded...right?". A face-palm slap later, her friend explained to her that
yes - those sessions are often recorded. And posted on porn sites. The naive
actress suddenly lost her appetite, and said she needed to run home to take
care of something. The friend paid the lunch tab out of pity for her. Julie
Bowen ("Modern Family")
497.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#7**
One Night - A Reader Blind Item: If you remember that recent reader blind
featuring that pot-loving A-List rocker, GS, you will remember that he and
I went to this posh, South African school, along with that B-List Academy
Award winning Hollywood director, T, who was then playing the lead in all
the school theatre productions. South Africa was a very disturbing place
to live, especially if you were like me or GS, and had a lot of Black friends
and associates. We lived closeted lives, highly fearful of being outed because
of the abuse we would have suffered if our racist classmates had found out
where our true sympathies lay. South Africa was a brutal, totalitarian state
and an atmosphere of dread hung over the land that was difficult to shake.
All of which leads in to one of the most mind-blowing day and night I think
I have ever experienced, in the company of this recently-deceased foreign-born
music legend, ST. Not all of you will have heard of him, probably, although
in his native land and in certain parts of the music world he was permanent
A list. If you don’t know him you might well know his son, a B-/C+ list
Hollywood host/announcer. ST won multiple Grammys and even hit number one
on the charts in the States back when he lived here. ST had created some
of his country’s greatest signature songs, and he had played around
the world for decades along with his A List first wife, several HOF bands,
and many other music greats. He was huge, gregarious, fun, and
collaborative—quite simply a human tour de force, a true inspiration,
whose fame, was, if anything, far less than he deserved. I would only ever
be with him for about six hours, six hours that constituted perhaps the most
intense and draining day or night of my life, a day that still lives large
in my family’s memory. When my Mom drove down to pick me up from school
for a long, holiday weekend, she told me we needed to go pick up ST at a
location about fifteen minutes away. ST had been living in exile for two
decades due to his political affiliations, although he had returned to live
just across the border of South Africa in the city where I grew up. He was
THE man in our city, music-wise, and I had seen him perform once before at
an outdoor venue, and his massive, raspy voice combined with the big sound
and harmonies of his band just blew the crowd away. My mother drove to a
spot close to an infamous, massive slum. This was the ghetto where ST had
lived when he became famous back in the day, and he eventually jumped into
our car wearing some paint-splattered workers’ overalls and an incredibly
shabby hat he was using to stay incognito. He had gone to pay his last respects
to a close relative who was on their deathbed. When he got into the car,
it emerged that my mother had undertaken to smuggle ST into South Africa.
He had borrowed an American passport spare. The border was due to close at
8pm, and it usually took over four hours to get there. We all knew that failing
to get through the border on time would be a disaster. Not only were we a
multiracial party travelling together, but among was a big-name celeb travelling
on a fake passport. Failure would necessitate having to camp out all night
in our car in a venue with a massive police and army presence. ST himself
faced years in jail if caught, while the rest of us would have found ourselves
in short-term detention and interrogation at the very least. So we had to
drive fast without getting caught speeding. At the beginning, we were still
relaxed. ST did some brilliant impressions of the "Jive language" from Airplane
that cracked everyone up. While still near the city, an amazing moment occurred
when this huge hit song came on the radio—you all know this song, performed
by this blonde, gravelly-voiced one-time A-List singer/songwriter, BD, that
singer who got her start playing in this ultra-hokey folk band along with
that permanent A List country singer in the sixties. My unhip parents even
had their Xmas album! Actually, that BD song was probably one of the biggest
hits of its era, and ST sang along to the chorus, his massive bass filling
our Nissan. When the song was over, ST told a story, most of which I’ve
forgotten, relating to his meeting with BD back in some bohemian location
in NYC when she was an unknown. He had known her well, extremely well, and
they had tried to collaborate on a song, apparently, after they hooked up.
Even us two teenagers in the car were impressed. You would probably have
picked ST to have been doing Eartha Kitt or Nina Simone instead, but to each
his own. As the hours passed, the tension increased. We had to slow down
in towns, and then once back in the countryside again, my Mom floored the
accelerator in a way I have never seen her do, ever. There were some shaky
corners and near misses with oncoming traffic. As the tension went up, we
stared at our watches and ST endured my Duran Duran and Pat Benatar cassettes.
We got to the border with about ten minutes to spare. ST ripped off the overalls
to reveal some upscale slacks and a "USA" sweatshirt. We walked inside, talking
loud and American. It was the quickest and easiest crossing anyone in my
family ever had, just no-look, stamp, and see you later, and within five
minutes we were heading for home with the burden of apartheid lifted off
our psyches as we basked anew in the atmosphere of a free, democratic country
run by wonderful people. Relief, elation, happiness—how life can shift
in a matter of minutes! But our night was not over. After about a minute
into our drive, we came upon stopped traffic. The driver of an El Camino,
coming the other way and heading toward the border, had hit a donkey, and
a couple of cars were stopped on the edge of the two-lane highway. The donkey,
badly injured and in utter despair, was standing up in the opposite lane,
unable to move. Those of us who had stopped, along with the dazed driver
of the El Camino, had no idea whatsoever to do. At this point, we saw headlights
coming towards us, in the distance, coming very fast. This vehicle was clearly
in a hurry, and with only a minute or two remaining before the border closed,
he was clearly intent on making it. The ten or so people stopped along the
road, milling around and looking at the crippled donkey, all soon came to
the vivid realization that something terrible was about to transpire. The
car was clearly driving out in front of its headlights and there was no way
it was going to stop. The next five seconds were long and tortuous, and we
all took cover as the approaching Mazda headed toward the donkey at well
over 100mph. Following impact, we were all sprayed by warm blood, and then,
amidst the smoke and carnage, we noticed that the donkey, or what remained
of it, had been deposited in the back of the El Camino! Then out of nowhere,
emerging out of the chaos and destruction, came the distinctive bass of ST.
Up to this point I had no reason to believe that he was a basketball fan,
but in an imitation of Johnny Most he yelled out, "Count it and he’s
going to the line!" Nobody laughed, but it was brilliant spur of the moment
repartee. Meanwhile, the two passengers in the Mazda were badly injured,
barely hanging in there, and by the time we went out and brought the police
back the driver could not be saved since there were no jaws of life on hand.
The other passenger was pulled out, and I hope he made it…… Badly
shaken having seen death up close and personal, we returned home in a silent
funk. After that I only ran into ST a couple of times. A few years later
he came up to me one day and told me that a northern European soccer team
had purchased the rights to his recent single and that he was going to shoot
a video. He said that he thought of our crazy experience often, and that
the chorus of his new song was inspired by its events. He needed me and a
bunch of other young blondes to impersonate the fans of this team. It was
not an easy task to obtain a group like this in an African city during the
school year, but with the help of some peroxide, some missionary home schoolers,
and some friends whose parents were willing to let them play hooky, we had
enough bodies to create a sizable "fan" section. We headed out for a hot
and dusty day of shooting at a soccer field not far from the club where he
did most of his gigs. ST had his famous instrument, the one given him by
that permanent A++ list music legend, which he played and posed with when
he was not out kicking a soccer ball around. My group wore a bunch of orange
shirts and banners, and did some choreographed cheers from a large rock nearby.
I didn’t actually see the video until it appeared on YouTube thirty
years later. ST was magnetic and his band was tight. But the blonde cheering
section was nowhere to be found. We must have been lame on film. Just another
group of chumps whose 15 minutes ended up on the cutting room floor.
GS: Musician: Dave Matthews
T: B-List Academy Award winning Hollywood director: Gavin Hood
ST: Foreign-born music legend/A List first wife:
Hugh
Masekela/Miriam Makeba
His son, a B-/C+ list Hollywood host/announcer: Sal Masekela
BD: Blonde, gravelly-voiced one-time A-List singer/songwriter, ultra-hokey
folk band along with that permanent A List country singer in the sixties:
Kim Carnes ("New Christy Minstrels") ("Betty Davis Eyes")
Famous instrument, the one given him by that permanent A++ list music legend:
Louis
Armstrong (his trumpet)
498.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#8**
Dancing Boy Update: After I clicked "send" on that last update, I immediately
had regrets - not because of what I said but because of what I didn't say.
I'm talking about that cryptic final paragraph. That's where the bombshell
is. As far a certain type of story is concerned, this one could register
high on the Richter scale (sorry for the mixed metaphors) - probably in the
top three. For people of a certain age, it might be #1. Maybe, in writing
it that way, I was being a little paranoid. After all, should the invitation
to the bed-in at the Chateau Marmont be accepted by this person (not the
actor, I mean, whose story we all now know), a certain permanent A list
entertainer will probably have a bad day, maybe more than one. He's not likely
to be happy with us. Part of the cause for my concerns lies in one of the
entertainer's works (with his longtime collaborators) from the 1990s. It
teases violence against a person in a particular occupation - the one practiced
(in another medium) by that son of the acting family whose real father we
all know; the eyes are the giveaway. What's creepy to me is the title of
this work, which includes not just a word but a name. Here's hoping it doesn't
prove to be prophetic. But back to the invitee. As it happens, he is my age,
and at roughly the same time I was doing small time kid modeling gigs, and
community theater, he - along with other boys our age - was doing videos
in a state neighboring his own. These videos were about an alt-sport not
involving water, but sometimes practiced in places drained of it. Then came
that fateful year when we were both offered the proverbial part. But while
I would end that year nearly famous, he would become actually famous for
this one thing. It aired on tv. In fact if you were alive and of a particular
age you probably saw it on a specific show. And while he is credited as an
alt-sporter on IMDB, what do you suppose his other role in this production
was? Of course, he disrobes less than I did, but by the end of his roughly
four minutes of screen time he's at least halfway there. A note too about
the format: obviously it's 16mm (which was at the time the standard for film
school gear). I'm guessing that the director, because of his day job, didn't
need to buy or even rent cameras and lenses for the shoot. Is it all clear
now or do I need to s-p-e-l-l it out further (with not dashes but another
kind of punctuation)? PS I dated this person's close friend from teen times
- a year or so before that occupational work came out. When they had lived
together, in barely legal times, the entertainer when in town would come
to the boy's bedroom window. He was jealous of the friend. Maybe I was getting
too close to the truth back then.
Son of the acting family whose real father we all know: Ronan Farrow
(Mia Farrow/Frank Sinatra)
Permanent A list entertainer: Michael Stipe
Violence against a person in a particular occupation - the one practiced
(in another medium):
''Kenneth,
what is the frequency?''/Dan Rather
Invitee:
Noah
Ray/skateboarder ("It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel
Fine)")/R.E.M.
499.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#9**
The Film Festival - A Reader Blind Item: Hey everybody! A somewhat frequent-ish
but new (as last fall; longtime lurker, however) commenter here. When Enty
asked for reader blind's, I knew I had to share mine with you. This one's
a tad more salacious than the other reader blind's, but nothing that will
make you overly hate humanity. And yes, for all you skeptics in the comment
section, this is 100% true; there even may be video of it somewhere. Anyhoo,
I am lucky enough to have a hobby (which I want to make a actual career,
but having a hell of a time getting paid gigs for it) that lets me hobnob
with celebrities. Most of my interactions are pretty mundane "hey, I just
met so and so type" stuff that really isn't all that interesting. But I want
to share my own craziest, weirdest encounter with a celebrity. And probably
show you how much of a dumb*ss I probably am. For the past few years, every
fall, I have been going to a film festival. A big film festival run by that
down South independent theater chain that we all know. The one that had a
HUGE PR disaster involving sexual assault and harassment and their response
to it? The one that rehired the creepy editor of their in-house movie website
and run that hip film distributor? That one. Anyway, this was long before
that all became public. This was about five years ago. My second time attending
this festival. There was a movie playing there that year, that was a big
deal for them. It is NOT a big mainstream hit. It played theatrically in
big cities, but only made like five digits at the box office. It was a VOD
play. But its also the kind of film that played well to the festival's target
audience. The first incarnation of that hip film distributor, which had a
different name back then, had picked it up from SXSW that year, and were
giving it a big red carpet treatment, with three of the stars in attendance.
This blind involves one of the stars. The film's lead, we'll call CP. CP
is a character actor type, talented (and friendly) guy, adept at playing
creeps and nice guys. He doesn't really rank on the list in a mainstream
sense, but does get a lot of leads in indie streaming/VOD type stuff, so
he's on a niche list somewhere. I wish him more big success, which it was
why it was a nice surprise to see him in a small, but sizable enough, role
in that Academy Award nominated film from that permanent A+ list director
we are all suspicious of, from last year. The film's biggest name is probably
AM. AM is a B/B+ dual threat comedic actor, best known for scene stealing
supporting roles. When he's done leads they've bombed. But he's a great support
ringer. Best know for a favorite, highly quoted and memed comedy from about
fifteen years ago, give or take, in which he starred with a bunch of other
comics who went on to be big A listers. It had a less satisfying sequel years
later. Weirdly enough, takes place in a milieu similar to CP's last big film.
Finally, there is ER, the third star, and the subject of our blind. ER is
a B-/C+ character actor who's most recently been on a couple of hit almost
television shows, different almost tv "networks." He was former back in the
day child actor who probably is best for his lead and/or supporting roles
in a trio of cult teen comedies from about two decades ago. One he had the
lead in; two were musically oriented; and two feature co-stars and bit players
who would go on to A and A- list fame. ER probably could have joined them
if he didn't bet his fame chips on taking the lead in a terrible (and terribly
named) flop tv show in the early aughts that marked the first major effort
for a production company after they made that ultra-low budget horror phenom
released around the time of ER's peak fame. So, anyway, now that I got all
the hints out of the way, back to the story. So I was at this festival and
in the audience for this movie. They were treating it as a party. And that
party included a dare contest. There was a guy who got the film's title tattooed
on his butt in front of the entire audience, for example. And there was a
blind dare -- you didn't know what you were doing until you agreed to the
dare. In my idiocy, my hand shot up. I was chosen to do the blind dare. Turned
out to be innocent enough -- at first. I was dared to drink a "weinie martini"
-- an unholy libation made from the juice from a can of vienna sausages (complete
with a sausage garnish, like a martini olive.) When I was on stage, being
interviewed about the dare as they were making it, I was asked by the host,
the owner of the theater, what I thought it would entail. I learned right
then and there, never give them an opening. I said I figured it was a drink
someone dipped their junk in. I think you know where I am going with this
now. Light bulbs went off. An offer was placed to the audience. Hands shot
up. But no one was more enthusiastic then someone sitting in the row directly
in front of us. A row of celebrities. ER was deeply, cheerfully enthusiastic
about being the junk-dipper. I can't blame him; he has the same kind of
mischievious, gremlin-like energy when it comes to this stuff that i have.
So, of course, he was chosen, and to his credit, he gave me the choice of
shaft or balls (I went balls.) Off to the corner he went, a couple of dips
and back he came with my drink. Now I could have walked away then and there,
but i'm standing in front of a packed audience full of people, and i can't
just NOT do the dare, so down the hatch it went. Wasn't actually bad; a bit
salty, which could have either been testicles or sausage juice, I don't know.
But, anyway, how many of the CDAN commentariat can claim to say they had
a drink made from a celebrities junk?
ER:
Ethan Embry
Indie Film: "Cheap Thrills"/"Drafthouse Films"
Festival: 2013 "Fantasia International Film Festival"
AM: David Koechner
CP: Pat Healy
500.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/30 **#10**
Rock Star Sex And Fetishes - A Reader Blind Item: I have cousin who ended
up living a very different and sad life than I. We hung out as young kids,
but then we drifted apart and while my life became more privileged, parents
climbing the corporate ladder and all, hers took a turn for the worse. Many
turns actually. I'd heard through the family grapevine over the years about
her tough life, in and out of jail, rehab, getting into a gang fight while
pregnant and losing the baby. Just so sad and awful...fast forward to a couple
of years ago, she hits me up on Facebook after decades have gone by since
we last spoke or saw each other. Turns out we live just a couple miles apart
- I in echo park, she in Mac Arthur park. Her birthday was coming up so I
took her out to breakfast. We smoked a joint, and shit got real. I noticed
she wasn't eating anything, she admitted she'd smoked a little meth before
we met up. I couldn't even tell. Aside from not eating, she's a goddamn pro.
Wouldn't have even known. It was like no big whoop. And that is how she spoke
of her past-matter of factly, that's just how it was, life. Ran away from
home to LA with her "boyfriend" when she was 12. Got pimped, was dumped shortly
thereafter. Walking the streets of LA. At 12. At the moment, I was shocked
and was too high to pry further, and felt like a dick for even asking if
she had any dirt. She did. I can only imagine. "You know the dude in the
band that wears all the make up?" Um..."the guy with the tongue.." (LT) "Yeah,
that dude. He made me piss on him." LOL real shocker that one. I'm a decent
judge of character and he's always come off as giant narcissistic turd...
She slept with, wait can I try this? Um...That rock guitarist who's silhouette
you would all recognize when she was 16 or 17. (GR) I guess that would have
been early 90's. She considers them good times, so who am I to
judge....
LT:
Gene Simmons
GR: Slash
501. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/30 **BLIND ITEM #11 thru 14**
Lady Loves Part One - A Reader Blind Item
PART
ONE
This BI will probably end up running the length of the typical Novelist Himmmm
BI, thus I both warn and apologize in advance. Pretty foolish request up
front, but please don’t speculate as to my identity or the identities
of my 5 Lady Loves (especially the last one, Lady #5, as we have been married
shy of 2 decades now and she’ll kill me if she finds out J), as none
of us are famous. I think there will be enough fun tidbits for people to
guess at without us anyway. That said, let’s hop in the DeLorean and
let it take us back 25 years almost to the day, to the waning days of this
legendary L.A. FM rock station that had exploded onto the scene in the tail
end of the big hair bands era of the ‘80s. Said station had launched
with much fanfare with an inaugural song, an iconic song by a legendary rock
band that the station would go on to use in a signature marketing ploy –
every time they would play said song, a caller had a chance to win $10,000
if I remember correctly. Funny enough, my buddy’s kid brother subsequently
called up the station to request they play that song, only to be cussed out
on air by the legendary DJ. Before the station would disappear into the mists
of time, it was even honored/mocked by having this other legendary alternative
rock station bring it back not too long after - if only for a day. Springwas
in the air L.A., and Spring Break was just around the corner - the first
Spring Break in many years that I wouldn’t either have to work for the
old man or be able to go out of town to blow off some steam and celebrate.
I grew up in the industry "on the wrong side of the tracks" so to speak –
working long hours whenever I could spare the time for the old man - helping
out on gear, props, equipment, anything and everything behind the scenes,
behind the camera, in the background as the son of a "mad scientist" technical
genius who made a pretty decent living as a freelance (and usually
uncredited…in fact almost entirely uncredited per the old man’s
IMDB page) technical/engineering consultant, special effectsman, propmaster,
and occasional stuntman and minor/bit part character actor. He was a "fixer"
less in the Ray Donovan sense and more in the scientific sense – when
a studio had some sort of technical problem they couldn’t solve, my
dad was one of if not the go-to guy to come up with out of the box, creative
solutions. His far-too-often-unsung efforts won his various employers numerous
Oscars, Emmys, VMAs and Clio awards over the decades. But enough about me
and my fam (for now), let’s get on with one of those Crazy L.A. Days
and Nights.
PART
TWO
Now there’s something people need to understand about L.A. – not
only is it chock full of the world’s finest ladies most trying to make
it or break it in showbiz, drawn to the glitz and glamour of the industry
like moths to the flame, but it’s also blessed that the home grown variety,
those sun kissed California girls, were hardly ever what one would consider
to be runners up in the aesthetics department. Speaking of blessed, I, one
of a seemingly rare breed of non-transplant, native born Angeleno sons, have
been blessed in my forty-something years on this earth to have loved and
been loved by 5 of California’s (if not the world’s) absolute
best…every single one of them, while not famous, a goddess in my mind.
Each as lovely on the inside as they are/were on the outside. While there
are many tales that I may one day tell of myself, my experiences, and my
Lady Loves, today’s tale focuses on Lady #4, who we will call Washington.
Washington and I (along with Ladies #1 & #3) attended the same high school,
a pretty high fallutin’ public school that was in those days both famous
for its academic excellence and quality as well as notorious for its wild
party scene. In fact, an alum of the school had directed a pretty successful
cult classic teen coming-of-age movie that was heavily influenced by his
own experiences at the school/town. It had a kinda-sorta "in spirit"
remake/variation not too long ago. The place even had a rabid pack of rocket
scientists in its backyard, not just the rockband we’ll get to very
soon that used to play in and around those backyards. I was a couple of grades
above Washington, and had been a few months past breaking up with Lady #3.
Washington and I had a class together that year, and over that fall, winter
and spring we grew close, very close. In the time leading up to Spring Break
she found herself torn between her douchelord of an on again off again boyfriend
and me. The boyfriend, conveniently for us, decided to be his douche self
and break up with Washington prior to heading out of town for Spring Break.
I would deal with that Grade A Shitheel in time, but at that time I decided
to put my personal desires and wants aside and just be the "In the FriendZone"
shoulder for her to cry on. And cry she did – that first weekend of
Spring Break it was tough to see her break down like she did, especially
with the unrequited feelings of love, passion, and desire I most definitely
had for her, and was sure she had for me. But I was working on a plan to
cheer her up, with the help of a friend of mine who had a line on a hush
hush event that was coming up the middle of that Spring Break week.
PART
THREE
My buddy had some very good connections throughout the L.A. music scene,
including at this Legendary Sunset Strip venue – one of the most storied
clubs in America if not the world. He had heard a few days prior that this
Legendary rock band with a pair of brothers was going to be putting on another
"secret" show there that Wednesday – though hopefully it wouldn’t
end up like the previous one. As both of us were YUUUUUUUUGE fans of the
group, he made sure to arrange that we could get in. I told him to do whatever
it takes to make sure Washington could get in too, as she was also a big
fan. I wanted to surprise her that day to try to kickstart her heart through
the grieving process and get her out of her funk. My buddy said he’d
try but no promises, to which I responded not good enough, make it
happen…OR ELSE! (No, not that last bit...I was firm but polite...and
begged him to please help me make that magic happen). Now the only thing
left to do was to arrange for her to go out with me that night for a surprise
"date". She didn’t want to go out at first, but I convinced her to just
meet me for a couple of hours at a Spring Break house party another of our
friends was throwing while his parents were out of town. I got there in the
late afternoon, and her gal pals brought her over shortly thereafter. When
I first saw her at the party, my heart skipped a beat. Even after days of
being down and inconsolable, crying all the time, and not giving a shit about
her appearance, even as a shadow of her previous self as she was at that
time, she was radiant. Absolutely stunning. Gorgeous. Like magic (there are
no coincidences ), one of my favorite 80’s love songs began playing
in the background…a song that will always remind me of that moment:
The Outfield – Your Love. We went outside to a quieter, more private
spot to talk, and she was still feeling down…I didn’t blame her,
but the hopeless romantic in me ached at the sight and thought of her
suffering.
PART FOUR: We talked for a little while, but we were getting close to the time when we would have to leave to head to the concert. I told her I’m going for broke – that I planned a surprise to try to cheer her up, but she would have to trust me and leave with me right then and there. In the months ahead, we would go together to the Strip quite often, especially to this other legendary club, part owned by this probably permanently A list Actor right off of it which was still a few months away from opening as that notorious venue. We would end up seeing a LOT of crazy shit together, but at this particular point in time, we were at a crossroads. Another song, an obscure rock love ballad by a ragtag group made up of members of other bands, was playing in the background. The song will forever be seared in my memory, although years later, I would forget the name of the band and the name of the song. I would remember the lyrics, the rhythm, the beat of it – set to the memory, in slo-mo, of Washington’s beautiful, azure blue eyes both as big and deep as oceans blinking, me wiping a tear away from them, her finally cracking a smile. That song would become my version of Al Bundy’s "Hmmm Hmmm HIMMMM", until I finally found out its name again and the band that performed it, a few years ago. I don’t know what compelled me to look up right at that moment, but – and I know this is going to sound like some sort of cliché bullshit but it absolutely positively happened – a bluish green shooting star streaked across the sky from East to West. What can I say, I took it as a sign and moved in to kiss her…it was literally like a scene out of a John Hughes film (one of my favorite ones actually – Weird Science, where the guys get the girls after fighting off the Mad Max mutant bikers, and a pair of shooting stars streak across the sky as they kiss them). And of course because the universe loves to play with us silly humans, just like that, yet another played out cliché - who happened to show up and start breaking up the party juuuuuuust then, at of course the most inopportune time? The cops, or to be precise in this jurisdiction, the LASD. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. SIGHHHHHH… I took Washington’s hand in mine, and told her it was now or never – I would be fine with whatever she chose to do – either go out with me that night to parts and places unknown, or I could take her home - but she had to choose.
502. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/31 **#1**Once the parents of this foreign born A- list tween actress find out that a supposed friendship with a family is more about replacing the parents as management more than anything else, I think you will see the "friendship" end in a second. Millie Bobby Brown/Kim Kardashian
503.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#2**
This foreign born permanent A list model should know if you hook up with
a married man for money, you need to be discreet. She wasn't. The wife of
the married man found out and then he had some scrambling to do which made
our model look bad in public.
Naomi
Campbell/Muhammadu Buhari GCFR the President of Nigeria
504.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#3**
This one named rapper with a spelling problem almost killed his soon to be
ex because she exposed his hookup with another woman which he immediately
caught a lot of grief over.
Fabolous
(Emily
Bustamante)
505.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#4**
One member of this celebrity family is in the news for an awful crime. However,
the son of that family member, who is married to an international celebrity
was known for years as the guy who would sexually assault or rape his household
help. He went through dozens of barely legal maids and housekeepers who were
subject to daily abuse for as long as they were employed.
Pippa
Middleton’s father-in-law David Matthews
506.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#5**
This A list actor/singer/rapper/writer says he is going to make it his life's
mission to destroy this female A list singer.
Donald
Glover/Taylor Swift
507.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#6**
If there was ever anyone who needs to fear for her life, it is this woman.
She is facing decades in jail. She was someone sent out from the church in
the local community not very far from the sex clinic where she used to work
after being groomed in the church. She was supposed to recruit potential
tween and teen boys. She messed up and was caught. The church doesn't want
her telling any secrets.
Kristin
Kreuk;
Allison
Mack
(Keith
Raniere "NXIVM")
508.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#7**
This former A- list tween/teen singer who was the go to threesome partner
for this former hated reality star when she wanted to add a second guy is
still closeted. The good news is the singer, who is trying to make a comeback
has a long term boyfriend and wants to make a coming out announcement when
he gets married. Paris Hilton/Jesse McCartney
509.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#8**
This former B list reality star who is probably a B-/C+ list celebrity offspring
right now has been hiding her boyfriend of six months from her parents. Probably
would be a Get Out type situation if he brought him home. Brooke
Hogan
510.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#9**
You know, it is the pint sized reality star you always hear about with her
marriage in trouble, but a female cast member on the same show is the one
who is regularly hooking up with the owner of this high end chain of bars
and clubs. Snooki/JWoww
511.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#10**
As I predicted, it took just a few days for this aging permanent A list musician
to have three women he is rotating between while his "significant other"
is across the country doing her thing. He knows when she comes back, she
won't care he has been with other women so he is not really even trying to
hide it.
David Foster
(in LA)/Katharine McPhee (in NYC)
512.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#11**
That directorial epic of a movie from this A+ list mostly movie actor just
gets worse. At this point, it is a jumbled mess with terrible performances
and several entire scenes need to be shot again. Very quietly the studio
is bringing in other people to slowly push the actor out.
Bradley
Cooper "A Star Is Born"
513.
ENTERTAINMENT
LAWYER 03/31 **#12**
Speaking of bad acting, this B+ list mostly movie actress with A+ list name
recognition and a lucrative side gig is still a terrible actress according
to the crew on set. Lucky for her that her new movie doesn't really require
much actual acting other than reaction shots to action sequences. Good for
her though that she got a headlining gig again though. I honestly didn't
think that would happen again outside an indie movie.
Jessica
Alba
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Last updated: November 25, 2020
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