NOTE: Guesses in italics are only guesses;
guesses in RED are a link to the solution or substantial clues.
What A+ list movie actor decided to handle negotiations directly for his B list movie actress wife. The result? She was passed over for someone who made far fewer demands which makes her actor husband ecstatic. He does not want her working at all. He wants her available to him at all times. The only way she will work is if it suits his needs and fits his time schedule. He just has not told her that though. Ryan Reynolds/Blake Lively
Which B list actress who promised to keep the identity of her baby daddy secret, probably needs to stop showing up at his door. Turns out he won't take her calls anymore and has changed his phone number because she was sending him texts and photos of the baby every two hours for nine months. The baby daddy's significant other has been tolerant of the situation so far, but the home visits are kind of freaking her out. January Jones/Jason Sudeikis (Olivia Wilde)
LAWYER 09/03 **#1**
This celebrity daughter of a former A list actor and still an A list director was supposed to watch her father speak recently with some other family members. She wanted to, but her boyfriend said he would break up with her if she watched her dad or even recorded it. He thought a much better idea would be to have sex. Clint Eastwoods daughter, Francesca/Tyler Shields
LAWYER 09/03 **#2**
What former B+ actress and now just someone who calls herself an actress and gets cast in movies but no one really thinks she is all that great but does have an A list boyfriend who is also a really bad actor but did do something really well which he has given up because he is convinced he is really good at acting and everyone is afraid to tell him he is bad. Producers for our actress just hope 20 or 30 guys will buy a ticket to see her in a movie. Plus she is cheap now and still a name. Well, just because she is cheap, does not mean her ego has diminished in size. This past weekend she threw a gigantic fit and started screaming and yelling while on the inside probably grateful because she thought there were two or three photographers following her. Turns out they were part of the team of wedding photographers of the wedding our actress was involved in. She tried to cover herself by advising everyone there probably would be swarms of paps because everyone is trying to see when she is getting married and it would be much different than this wedding. Jessica Biel/Justin Timberlake
LAWYER 09/03 **#3**
You know how The Situation is always willing to take out his abs and show them off for women or for $20? Yeah, well this actor who really should be A list by now because of his talent, but has a horrible way of messing things up with everything he does away from the cameras which keeps him at a B- level. Good looking though. Well, our actor has the habit of whipping out his peen for anyone who cares to see. Of course he has to be drunk first which knowing our actor is possible Monday - Friday anytime after 5pm or so and on the weekends, depending on what time he awakens, anytime after about 1pm. If you see him in a club or in a bar and would like to see his peen, just ask and he will be glad to show it. The problem is that his girlfriends do not always enjoy this behavior. Our actor, who is known for his peen and for his drinking has not always been the most faithful of sorts. And when you are pulling out your peen on request, and only by request, things happen. You know, it could slip in here or there, and the next thing you know you have a situation which the girlfriend does not really appreciate. So, then he is forced to take his peen and move on. Michael Fassbender
MORTON REPORT 09/04 **#1**
This is about a couple Mr. and Mrs. Celebrity. Very famous. Rather wealthy. Sprinkled with stardust. Theirs is a long and enduring marriage. But when they met there was one major obstacle: Mr. Celebrity was married. However, the wife-in-waiting was impatient and very keen to become Mrs. Celebrity. Somehow, just by chance, the inconvenient first wife came across some rather interesting pictures. This all happened a long time ago, but folks back home spread it around that Mr. Celebrity and the wife-in-waiting had made sure that the first wife had graphic evidence of their relationship, thus precipitating a divorce. And so Mr. & Mrs. Celebrity married and lived happily ever after.
Mr. Celebrity: Steven Spielberg
Mrs. Celebrity: Kate Capshaw
First wife: Amy Irving
MORTON REPORT 09/04 **#2**
With Mr. & Mrs. VIP there appears to have been a truce. After wildfire separation rumours, Mr. VIP started to be nice about Mrs. VIP, even though she skipped yet another event she should have attended. Then they went on holiday together. At least they were photographed together which is not quite the same thing as actually being together. Victoria and David Beckham
Which supposedly straight actress has been sneaking around with a lesbian friend of her boyfriend?
Actress: Miley Cyrus
Boyfriend: Liam Hemsworth
Boyfriends friend: Amber Heard
LAWYER 09/04 **#1**
This B- list always movie actress has started growing resentful about paying for everything with her husband. He has a recording career but doesn't actually record anything that sells. He says he wants to go on tour but what he mostly does is sit around the house and order things off the internet with her credit cards. Vacations? On her dime. Eating out? She always pays. Gym membership? All her. When they started dating she thought he was going to be so successful and he had drive, but now he has none and seems perfectly content to live off her and work one or two hours a week on some album which may or may not see the light of day and will probably never sell. Nikki Reed and Paul McDonald
LAWYER 09/04 **#2**
This former B- list singer and B- list television actress does not do much these days. Actually she doesn't do anything. Absolutely nothing. Somehow though despite her non existent schedule she has two nannies for her one child. The only time she actually ever spends alone time with her child is if she knows there will be cameras around. Otherwise, not a chance. She says she is far too busy, which is funny considering her ex doesn't have a nanny and is a million times busier and has the baby an equal amount of time, if not more. Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz
LAWYER 09/04 **#3**
This is a complicated one, but a good one. It involves an A list movie actor who got his sometime mistress pregnant. The mistress is an actress too. She was in a relationship with a man who was totally head over heels and let our actress run all over him. She would do what she wanted, when she wanted and did it often. Our actor had to be a bit more discreet. His face is much more widely known than that of the mistress. She is known too, but not like the actor. Anyway, the mistress and her man never really had sex much so it came as a shock to many when she announced she was pregnant. She had never been shy about talking about the lack of sex. Turns out the child is actually the child of the A list actor. The two managed to keep it fairly quiet but as the looks became more obvious, the couple had to do something so what they managed to do was deflect all attention from the child for fear it would ruin the career of the A list actor. The child is never seen in public. Even though the mistress and her man are no longer together, the child continues to live with the man until such time as the child can be shipped to boarding school. The fact that all three of the people know and are willing to keep it quiet is amazing. There is a fourth person who knows and had to be paid off with a lot of money to keep her quiet and she also went on a nice year long vacation. You never see her anymore in public. Denzel Washington/Sanna Lathan/Adewale Ogunleye
This actress has been keeping a really low profile this summer. Thats because she is recovering from a face lift. While we are not shocked that a Hollywood actress is getting plastic surgery, we are a bit surprised that this actress is getting her first lift done at such a young age. We havent seen her yet, but we hear that the work was "pretty extensive", that she looks "different" but "not bad", and that her husband "approves".
He is known for being wayward, that is nothing new. But what is surprising is just how randy this young man is. But what is even more intriguing about this character is how obvious he is about his sexual tendencies this is despite living his life in the glare of the media spotlight. You see, one girl is not enough to quell his insatiable sexual desires these days, two seems to do the trick. Not that a ménage à trois amongst the famous is that shocking . but offering two girls $10,000 on the spot at a party, kind of is Prince Harry
(British blog) Which tennis star is raising eyebrows courtside as her voice seems to be getting lower and lower? Onlookers suggest it might be in the same method as the women shot putters of East Germany used to practice. Serena Williams
1. WHAT former child star shes currently on a new sitcom has turned into a psycho germaphobe whos driving her new co-stars and crew insane with her daily disinfection demands? The clean freak/new mom is constantly taking extra steps to make sure that she and her baby are healthy and dont inhale any dangerous chemicals on the set! Hillary Duff
2. WHICH handsome Oscar winner also known for his profanity-laden outbursts quit smoking cigarettes and has become even MORE impossible to be around? The actor/director made a grand entrance at a Malibu party by screaming: "I want to tear someones face off!" He then explained hed been nicotine-free for two weeks and was just joking, but guests still kept their distance. Mel Gibson
3. WHICH huge reality star is scrambling to get her failing finances in check before cameras start rolling on her popular show? The usually bossy lady is pleading with producers to help her get out from under the $20,000 she owes in back taxes! Jillian Michaels
4. THIS weight-challenged star, whos now on a new health kick, is
trying to get the iconic fast-food stand Pinks Hot Dogs in Hollywood
to pull the popular wiener named after her. The new vegan convert is demanding
that the stretch dog loaded with mustard, onions, chili and sauerkraut come
off the menu! Rosie O'Donnell
(LONG ISLAND DOG: 10" Stretch Dog, topped with mustard, onions, chili and sauerkraut)
5. WHICH former child star from a famous family shocked fans with her drastic plastic surgery during a taping of her new chat show? The TV personalitys body looks amazing, but shes nipped, tucked and pulled her face so much that people in the audience thought they were there for a new show hosted by Joan Rivers daughter Melissa! Marie Osmond
LAWYER 09/05 **#1**
This is a practical joke that has no end. This female former A list tweener/performer (#1) and now someone who is clearly trying to find her own identity told this B- list actress (#2) who is on a fairly big television show not on a network that another female former A list tweener/singer (#3) who is still a solid B lister was open to some fun with another woman provided the timing was right. It was a joke, but the B- list actress has not realized it is a joke and has spent some time the past six months hitting on #3 thinking she might get lucky and can't figure out what she is doing wrong. She has called and texted #1 often to find out what she is doing wrong and #1 keeps on giving tips which have worked in the past. #2 still has not figured out it's a joke. The crazy thing is she might actually be making progress.
#1: Miley Cyrus or Vanessa Hudgens
#2: Ashley Benson
#3: Selena Gomez
LAWYER 09/05 **#2**
This female celebrity on Dancing With The Stars has been hitting on a dancer from day one. He keeps turning her down. She asked him why and he said it was because she was not famous enough or make enough money for him to be interested. Bristol Palin/Maksim Chmerkovskiy
LAWYER 09/05 **#3**
I don't have any first hand knowledge of some of the abuse that went on in the early days of rock. Was Ike Turner the worst abuser of women in music? Maybe, but I think the person I am going to tell you about right now is way worse. I don't know of any woman who has ever gone out with him longer than a few dates who has not been physically or verbally abused. Hell, you don't even have to go on a date with him to beat you. Just refuse him something like sex even if it is right after you meet and he might beat you. The thing is most women stay with him anyway. Must be for his name and his former fame. Oh he was big. He was A list for sure. Now? Not so much, but he has that A list name. From the time he was young he would abuse women. He would yell and hit. Punching and breaking bones was no big deal for this guy. If you angered him, your body was in jeopardy. As I said before, most of the women he beats just put up with it as long as they can hoping he will change. They do it because they think they can change him or that he will change or that he didn't mean it. They stay because he buys them crazy expensive gifts all the time and some have felt it was the price they needed to pay to stay. They all end up leaving though, but none have called the police. At this point he does not even bother to try and date anyone without having them sign a confidentiality agreement. This way no matter what happens to them they can't speak about it. He has learned his lessons in that regard. It is not like the current women don't know what happened in the past. They have. They know that they face a chance of a beating that will make Rihanna's a cake walk, yet they keep coming.
Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses Beats Up a Fan
A Neighbor Says Axl Rose Hit Her with a Wine Bottle
As the saying goes, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream." But this October, fans of a certain hit drama will probably be screaming for a splash of cold water on their faces after they witness what goes down between one of the shows randier couples a hook-up so racy, it almost didnt make it to air. Allow me to set the scene: Ice cream parlor. Lovers on a date. Each enjoying a sundae. The male half of the pair reaches under the table to, ahem, melt his partner under her dress. He then takes that same hand and dips it in her sundae. And finally, the frisky female laps up a spoonful of the "tainted" dessert. Hot fudge, indeed! As you can imagine, this is where the road gets rocky. Standards and Practices at the unnamed broadcast network initially balked (though, were the tryst to play out on a pay cabler like HBO or Showtime, no one would so much as blush). Eventually, I hear the debate escalated to the highest office at the network the forward-thinking president and the scene was OKd. (Of course, anything can change between now and the airdate.) Now, while the series in question has pushed the envelope before, sexually speaking, this incident is still bound to raise eyebrows. But should it? After all, the broadcast networks competing as they are with the likes of Game of Thrones, Dexter and Boardwalk Empire have been getting racier for years (and years). Wasnt it just a matter of time before they leveled the playing field? And should the network prez be lauded for having the guts to do just that? Kalinda and Nick on "The Good Wife"
LAWYER 09/06 **#1**
This former A list television actress from a very hit show and now a B+ movie actress who might be considered A- if she was any good, is married. Been married forever. People don't really think much of her marriage, but she is married. Turns out she is having an affair with a fashion photographer. Has been for a year. Once or twice a week at his studio. I honestly dont think anyone would begrudge her this affair. Sarah Jessica Parker
LAWYER 09/06 **#2**
You will have to do a little digging for the answer to this one. I have confidence in you that you can discover this most spoiled of spoiled actresses who you have probably never heard of but who ended up getting the lead of a major movie just because she is so spoiled. This is not some indie movie, but not an Avengers type budget either. Anyway, our actress knew early on in life that she wanted to be an actress and didn't want to have to go through all the struggles that an actress has to go through to move up the ladder of success. She discovered early on that she needed to either find herself a star to latch on to or some kind of producer who could get her in movies. When she was still under age she found the man she wanted. Yes, he was way older than her but it didn't matter to her and it didn't matter to him. She had found for herself one of the guys out there with a the biggest kinks in the business and she grabbed hold and started bugging him for parts and roles right away. When she became legal they moved in together. He got her roles and at the same time kept promising her the biggest role of her career. He was going to make her a star. Well it was supposed to. Unfortunately for our actress she is not the best actress. Not even a very good one. So, even though the studio had given all this money to her significant other and let him cast her, they wanted someone with some star power and acting chops. So, a B+ list actress was cast to join and make everyone better. The thing is our B+ actress was younger than our spoiled actress and she could see the way her man's eyes lit up at the thought of some alone time with the actress in what was going to be a very sexy movie. Our spoiled actress started making life miserable for her significant other and the B+ actress who soon walked off the production. Actually ran. Well, other actresses were brought in. Not great thespians but they were names. Our spoiled actress was convinced she would still be the star and would shine brighter than the others because she was such a good actress. Uh huh. What happened was over the course of filming, our spoiled actress became an after thought in the filming and was the lead only in her mind. Her lines kept getting cut and the names brought in were given more lines and more camera time. Our spoiled actress would throw hissy fits everyday and scream and yell and told her significant other that if he did not get her more screen time that she was leaving him. So, he went over budget. He shot scenes he knew would not ever be used but it made her happy. For almost one full week of shooting it was all about her. Her significant other had to pay for the overages himself. I don't know what he did when she saw the first cut and didn't really see herself in any of those shots and had been transformed to almost a background character.
Spoiled Actress: Rachel Korine
Significant Other: Harmony Korine
B+ Actress Who Left Production: Emma Roberts
This Rocker has always had a reputation as a ladies man. It once cost him a marriage, but is he now creepin' with a married Songbird? Lenny Kravitz/Mariah Carey
LAWYER 09/07 **#1**
This would be the perfect time for this couple from the very large movie franchise to take their relationship public with all the other distracting news. She has to tell everyone she is pregnant at some point but he just is scared of the fallout from any announcement. Plus, he has been sleeping with someone else too and they don't know about his relationship so it could be awk-ward.
LAWYER 09/07 **#2**
#1 - This B- list actress/celebrity is really funny. The problem she has is that she does not know when to try and stop being funny. She says that she uses jokes when she is nervous and that when she is having sex she can be nervous, so she starts trying out jokes while a guy is having sex with her. And she wonders why she never hears from them again. Sarah Silverman
#2 - If this A+ list actress is clutching her Starbucks cup in a death grip it means she is back on the bottle. She had given up booze forever, but apparently after a cancer scare has been drinking regularly. She is filming a movie right now and only lets go of her booze while actually filming a scene.
#3 - What A+ list singer with bad taste in men was asked by a fan if he could touch her breast? Surprising everyone she grabbed his hand and put it right on her breast and even told him to get a good squeeze. Rihanna
#4 - From Fashion Week - This B list all movie actress from a franchise would not stop talking smack about a collection from a designer. She said it loud and she said it quietly. Then, a woman in her 50's turned around and said, "You are just saying that because he would not give you anything free and refused to dress you." The actress asked the woman how she would know and the woman said, "Because I am his mother."
She is very stuck up and barely talks to anyone on her staff. When she does, she is very short. She doesnt yell, but she will make her displeasure clear by either giving you a cold stare or berating you in front of the rest of the staff. "Are you a fucking idiot?" is her favorite question. She thinks that you should read her mind and intuitively know what she wants before she even asks for it. It doesnt matter if youre new or young or have barely ever spoken to her. You should just know what she wants! Lately, she has been even more irritable than usual. She told someone on her staff to call and get her tickets to a sold-out concert. When they didnt get the tickets, she lit into them at a production meeting. "Why the fuck do I even have you people? I dont understand why I have to ask for things when you people should already know what the fuck I want? Youre all a bunch of fucking morons! Especially you," she said, pointing at the young staffer. No wonder her entire staff hates her. Chelsea Handler
LAWYER 09/08 **#1**
If you are an A list all movie actress who makes a ton of money, but you have no self esteem, what do you do? Well, first of all you date guys you know are going to treat you like crap, but you got lots and lots of attention which is what she really craves. The bigger the name the more publicity she gets. That is what killed her before when she was with a notoriously shy A list movie actor. He didn't use her like the other A list actor did though. Anyway, she is in a relationship right now with just a guy and it is not enough. She wants some drama and excitement so she had a one night stand with this singer/actor/ and probable Dos Equis drinker in hopes she would get caught and get some attention. She knows her boyfriend won't leave her.
A list movie actress: Scarlett Johansson
Shy A list movie actor: Ryan Reynolds
Other A list movie actor: Sean Penn
Singer/Actor: Jared Leto
LAWYER 09/08 **#2**
This former one hit wonder who would have competed with John Mayer for singer most likely to date as many women as possible while being as disrespectful as possible finally found someone to support his "career." She is rich rich rich. She thinks that because he once had a hit that he is a huge celebrity and understands that royalty checks might come slow so she pays for everything. His clothes and his new car. Their trips. Everything. In return he has taken her to a few parties that he can actually get into and she thinks she is living the celebrity lifestyle. I wonder if he told her that he wrote his song about her. James Blunt
LAWYER 09/09 **#1**
I'm pretty sure there is no female left who has ever worked with this A+ list movie actor who actually likes him or even wants them near them. For the second time in as many weeks he has had really awkward run-ins. First there was the B+ movie actress he convinced to sleep with him and do some other things she was not sure of after he told her he wanted her to be with him forever. This is of course while he was cheating on her. Then, this week, there was the confrontation with the A-/B+ list movie actress who he hit on everyday for months and who was so repelled by him at the end of filming that she vowed to never talk to him unless she was forced to. If you did not think it was possible to ignore someone standing next to you for 30 minutes, then you are wrong.
A+ list movie actor: Bradley Cooper
B+ list movie actress: Zoe Saldana
A-/B+ list movie actress: Jennifer Lawrence
LAWYER 09/09 **#2**
This C+ television actor has some really bad personal issues in the past including substance abuse and cheating on every woman he ever dated. He blamed it all on the substance abuse issues. Everyone else thinks it was because he loved cheating. When he lost his fame and his jobs for awhile he has a girlfriend who stuck by him and he never cheated. Now though, with a new middling hit show, he has been given the opportunity to cheat and has been taking full advantage of it and his long long suffering girlfriend has no idea at all.
LAWYER 09/10 **#1**
This A+ list female singer was snubbed by her fellow A list friends at a recent party because she had said she was far too busy to perform at a charity event that the rest of the group had performed at, but still found the time to come party with them. She has said before that charity is fine as long as there is a paycheck in it for her at the end of the night. Lady Gaga
LAWYER 09/10 **2**
What A list model split with her A list actor boyfriend not because of his wandering eye but because they could go nowhere without family members coming with them. It got to be too much for her and she gave him an ultimatum. Obviously he chose the family, although that has since changed to some degree in his newest relationship because she told him she wouldn't date him unless he changed. Leo DiCaprio/Bar Rafaeli
LAWYER 09/10 **#3**
This actress has been a steady C+ to B-. Foreign born. Always works, but you would be hard pressed to pick her out of a crowd and match her with her name. Her name is probably B+ list. She has had some issues on movie sets the past two years. Apparently this C- list actor with A list name recognition who was in a very high profile relationship that she dated for awhile spread a whole bunch of rumors about her. Lots and lots of them. Like he was in his own version of high school. She says that most of the stuff never happened and probably would never be able to happen because he takes so many drugs and drinks so much that he is impotent half the time and their sex never lasted longer than 30 seconds. She is shocked that he ever managed to get anyone pregnant. Anyway, his rumors have made working on sets very uncomfortable because he tells everyone that she is easy and that she will have sex with anyone famous or who spends a couple of bucks on her. During her most recent movie, almost the entire cast was men and she says that she had to hide every second that she was not actually filming because the guys would not stop hitting on her and at one point she thought about walking off the set and quitting and going back home. Ryan Phillippe/Abbie Cornish
These television co-hosts always seem to get along so well that we were shocked to find out that one really cant stand the other. Cohost 1 has told her boss that working with Cohost 2 is "beneath me", that the show "has become ridiculous", and that she is "losing credibility every minute" she is on air. She is a true professional, though, so dont expect her personal feelings to translate on the screen. She will put on a smile and do her job as always.
Cohost 1: Hoda Kotb
Cohost 2: Kathie Lee Gifford
She has been drinking a lot lately. When she does, she lets out her real feelings about her marriage being a mistake. At a recent party, she began shouting loudly, "I shouldve never gotten married! Fuck him! Fuck you Mom and Dad! Fuck everybody!" One of the reasons her marriage failed was because she felt cheated. She thought she was marrying a bad boy, but her ex actually turned out to be surprisingly straight-laced. She wanted someone genuinely wild. So, while she was still married, she started asking friends to find her someone who was a real "bad boy". That is how she wound up with her current beau. He has a bad reputation, and she didnt even wait until the marriage was over before making a move on him. She actually started emailing and talking to him weeks before the marriage ended. (Her ex is completely in the dark about this). She is really falling for him, and she loves the fact that he is up for anything anything that is dirty or kinky.
Girl: Katy Perry
Ex-Husband: Russel Brand
New Boyfriend: John Mayer
LAWYER 09/11 **#1**
This former A list actor and Academy Award winner/nominee who would still be an A if he were not a little bit off center sometimes and is actually a really good actor has a girlfriend. Nothing new there except he does not usually date. Anyway, things have begun to get serious for the couple. What he does not know is that her ex who is a former A list celebrity and will always be a legend still hooks up with his ex when she brings their child over for visits.
A list actor: Joaquin Phoenix
Girlfriend: Heather Christie
Girlfriends ex: Anthony Kiedis
LAWYER 09/11 **#2**
The thought of a vacation probably really appealed to this B- list singer/reality star who is now dabbling in acting in a very bad movie. The fact she was going on vacation with her closer to A list, but still a B celebrity boyfriend probably made it all that much better. That he brought along his entourage was one thing, but that female who he claims is the girlfriend of one of his guys who got her pregnant? Not so much. Our singer/actress might want to ask who the real dad is.
LAWYER 09/11 **#3**
I always like doing DWTS items because they are so current and the pool is smaller and easier for you to guess. So, two female celebrities and one male professional dancer. One of the women really wants to go out with the pro dancer and to dinner and thinks he would be a great boyfriend and has been flirting with him a little. He might end up dating her but right now he has been having sex almost everyday with another of the female celebrities which will probably be a deal breaker for the first. The sex thing is just sex, but she would never understand.
1. THIS bighearted talk-show host has been warned to stop taking in rescue animals! Her exasperated producers are concerned because the fanatical animal lover adopts homeless pets, then pawns them off to the shows staff, network execs...and anyone else she can corner! Ellen DeGeneres
2. WHICH former A-list actress embarrassed her B-list actor hubby when she got drunk and flirted with President Obama during a fundraiser? The blonde 50-something star was so tipsy that she actually planned to sing a rendition of Marilyn Monroes sultry "Happy Birthday, Mr. President," but her fuming husband threatened to dump her on the spot if she dared! Melanie Griffith
3. WHICH Latina actress has gone so Hollywood that she claims shes forgotten how to be Mexican? The sexy star she still has a heavy accent has infuriated so many people in Latin America that theres rumblings about boycotting her films! Salma Hayek
4. WHICH A-list star, who recently gave birth to her third child, is so desperate to get her supermodel figure back that she enlisted the help of a close pal/famous director to whip her back into shape? The leggy 40-something actress is using the quirky moviemakers nutrition counselor, whos helping her come up with a raw diet plan. Uma Thurman/Quentin Tarantino
5. WHAT popular Olympic gymnast is ready to trade in her gold medals for an Oscar or at the very least an Emmy? This adorable brunette is desperate to break into Hollywood and has signed with a major talent agency, but theyve given her strict orders: Youve got to lose the attitude, young lady. McKayla Maroney
LAWYER 09/12 **#1**
What former B list celebrity/reality star who is now struggling to stay relevant and is maybe a C is convinced that as long as she has her partner's baby that she and the baby will be set for life. She thinks he is loaded and has been counting the money she will get if he leaves her or she walks away. The thing is he is dead broke. Her plan, like most of her others has backfired. It was never about the baby. It was about the money. Holly Madison
LAWYER 09/12 **#2**
I always have thought that the biggest tool out there when it came to really just using women and tossing them away was probably Gerard Butler or Wilmer Valderrama. Found someone way worse. Oh, and get this. He has actually been nominated/won an Academy Award. He is a very good actor. This week he was hitting on some models and told them they should come back to his place for some partying. They asked who else would be there and he said it would just be him and they don't need anyone else but him. He told one A++ list model they should have sex. When she declined, he turned to another model next to him and said, "Well, I guess you get to go first then. Lucky you." He had an actress girlfriend. She put up with him bringing home women and having sex with them downstairs and then coming up straight to bed or even waking up during the night when he would get a text and go out and have sex with someone and then come back to bed. She stuck with him because she thought she could change him. Plus, she was really trying hard to get pregnant. She later did with someone else who is higher on the list than our dog actor. She is quite the actress. I could write a whole book about what she has done in the past to try and get guys to fall for her.
Actor: Adrien Brody
A++ list model: Naomi Campbell
Actress girlfriend: Elsa Pataky
Husband: Chris Hemsworth
Bitter started out as the star of this television show, but her holier-than-thou attitude has become tiresome, and her attacks on another cast member are going to backfire on her. The other cast member, who has been surprisingly restrained so far, is threatening to reveal Bitters marital crisis and financial woes. We dont know who Bitter will turn to for support when that happens, as she doesnt seem to have any friends in real life. Too bad, because she is going to need a shoulder to cry on when she gets the boot from the show. Actually, we wish the producers would simply clean house on this show and start over with a new cast..
Bitter: Caroline Manzo
Restrained: Teresa Giudice
Show: "Real Housewives of New Jersey"
Which TV doctor likes to make a very thorough examination of his sexual conquests by covering his bedroom with mirrors? Must be very embarrassing... Dr Christian Jessen "Embarrassing Bodies"
LAWYER 09/13 **#1**
What B- list actress and I am probably being generous there but her name which is A list kind of boosts the actress list a little higher had sex the other night and told a model that it was like being a virgin again because it had been so long. She also said she probably won't see the guy again because he kept saying, I can't believe I'm having sex with you repeatedly. Katie Holmes
LAWYER 09/13 **#2**
Good news for this former almost A list actress who is now a C- and is fading fast. She has finally realized that she needs to break free from her family situation and has moved out on her own for good. In the past she has tried but she would be pulled back home or a family member would move in with her. No one will hire her. She finally realized that she needed to make a change. She is a shell of the person she used to be and she had substance abuse issues to try and deal with what her life had become and the pain of having a family member get her pregnant. She has started showing up in public at events and calling in favors and is trying to make a comeback. Thora Birch
MediaTakeout.com just got wind of a BLOCKBUSTER news story thats about to break. We spoke with a person in the know who tells us that one of the BIGGEST BLACK MALE CELEBS has been BEATING UP his celebrity girlfriend. And according to the snitch, the ISH is about to hit the fan. You see, the celeb GF is in the midst of a NASTY LAWSUIT and all of the details of his threats and physical abuse is gonna be dragged out and shell no longer be able to protect him. Were keeping this as a blind item because we REALLY LIKE THE DUDE, and we liked the two of them as a couple. But TRUST . . . this is gonna be the biggest story in the entertainment world in a few days.
We already knew that everything about this girl was phony, but even we were surprised to hear how far she is willing to go to sway public opinion. During a filmed television segment about her breakup, she simply couldnt show any real emotion about her decision to end the relationship. Her manager told her to cut filming, pulled her aside, and started yelling at her that she had better start crying during the scene, or no one would believe her side of the story. It took four takes before she could cry convincingly on camera about how much she once loved her ex and how sad she was to realize that she was no longer in love and needed to break off the relationship. Boo hoo, you big phony.
Girl: Kim Kardashian
Ex: Kris Humprhries
This R&B diva may need to pull the reigns in on her teenaged Daughter. The Daughter is letting Twitter get the best of her by being careless with a legendary rapper's reputation. Faith Evans/Chyna/Dr. Dre
LAWYER 09/14 **#1**
The issues that this former A list tweener thinks she is having with her B- list movie actor boyfriend probably have to do with a certain person he met on the set of his last movie and also the fact that the former A list tweener keeps questioning him about it non-stop to the point where he is ready to split. He has already checked out emotionally and says he is only in it for the sex and that he gets a threesome for his birthday. Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth/Emma Roberts
LAWYER 09/14 **#2**
In honor of the reunion of the original Melrose Place actors for a photoshoot, I thought I would make this a special Melrose Place edition of blind items. Everything is from the actual filming of the show.
#1 - Although there were at least four cast members who slept with this multi-soap loving actor, it was this person he slept with that caused the most jaws to drop. She is now a B list reality star, but she was something much more different at the time. Jack Wagner/Tori Spelling
#2 -This actress who is still on television and is probably a B- was not an original member of the cast. She was brought in later and quickly became someone this foreign born actor tried to stay away from. They had sex one time and she thought it meant they should get married. Would not leave him alone. Ever. David Charvet/Kelly Rutherford
#3 - This actress left the show rather abruptly because her soon to be A list movie actor boyfriend who is now a B- made her leave because he wanted her to be there when he needed her. Her life went downhill from there. Amy Locane/Brendan Fraser
#4 - These four or five actors/actresses had strip poker parties. Oh, to have a cell phone camera back then and the internet. The entire cast. The big winner was always Marcia Cross. She never ended up taking off any of her clothes.
What A+ list movie actress was MIA for about a month while her partner was everywhere because our actress had a breast enlargement and lift. She said that she didn't like looking at herself naked any longer and wanted to fix it and is planning to take it off in an upcoming movie. She has said before she was going to wait until she was finished having kids. No more kids? Angelina Jolie
What former A list celebrity who likes to think she does everything well but doesn't really do anything all that great but still manages to be front and center all the time yelled at her boy toy right after they got off a red carpet and told him he was acting like a child and that he was ruining her "carefully crafted image." She sent him back to the car and told him to wait until she was finished. Jennifer Lopez
SssH! Which pop star is enjoying her hallucinogenic chocolate (chocolate laced with acid) a bit too much these days? Apparently she loves getting off her head. Naughty! Rihanna
GOSSIP 09/17 **#1**
We already told you that although this young man is married, he is gay and his marriage is fake, fake, fake! You may be curious as to whether or not he has a boyfriend. Yes, he does! The Boyfriend is a relatively unknown singer who hails from the same area where The Husband spent part of his childhood. He flies to wherever The Husband is so that they can spend time together. You will occasionally see them in paparazzi shots or in TV clips together, but they are never physical in front of the cameras. The Husbands family does know about the relationship. Most of them are friendly with The Boyfriend both in person and on social media. Most of them. Not all.
Husband: Kevin Jonas
Wife: Danielle Deleasa
GOSSIP 09/17 **#2**
Despite his enormous success, there isnt one person in the industry who thinks that this superstar is talented. Not one. Even his own people dont think he will successfully segue into other genres or creative endeavors. They just know that for the next two or three years (after which they think his fame will expire) he is a money-making machine, and they will stay aboard as long as it pays. One high-powered agent refers to him as "The Next Aaron Carter." Ouch. Justin Bieber
LAWYER 09/17 **#1**
What former Hills star is set to come out as a lesbian? Lo Bosworth
LAWYER 09/17 **#2**
What always looking for money and fame celebrity sibling kept getting rejected for reality shows. Then she said she could provide something no other person could provide. She got her deal and then assigned a lot of that deal away for some much needed cash. Now the "something" she promised are having to work a lot; have no idea they are being exploited and the celebrity does not even care that her "something" are not getting paid. She got paid and gets to be in the show and she feels like she outsmarted everyone. LaToya Jackson and Michael Jackson's kids
LAWYER 09/17 **#3**
What former Tweener who has had a rocky life since her acting career folded is back doing drugs and has three or four men who are happy to pay to spend time with her while her boyfriend stays home watching the kids. Jodi Sweetin
LAWYER 09/17 **#4**
What do you do when you have an actress who is so completely head over heels about what her pastor says that she really does believe it is her Christian duty to have sex with him even though she is married. She also believes him when he tells her the need to keep it secret from everyone because people outside the church, including his wife would not really understand how they were doing the Lord's work. His problem though is that he told his last mistress the same thing and when she caught the two of them having sex has started to spread the rumors through their church. What was something quiet has grown into way more for this former B list television actress who still has a big name despite not acting very much anymore. Her husband probably wouldn't care even if he does know which is not known. He is a much bigger star in a way than his actress wife was not and he has what he likes to call vacation sex. He has groupies and spends time with them a few times a year and lives a life he is forced to give up when with his wife. Connie Sellecca/John Tesh
LAWYER 09/18 **#1**
What A list tweener singer told his on again and off again B list tweener girlfriend they would be off again unless she lost some weight. He said he doesn't like to see any fat and that she was getting "too curvy" for his own liking and embarrassing him in front of his friends by getting big. When she started crying, he said it was her problem, not his. Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez
LAWYER 09/18 **#2**
This celebrity offspring who has her own show now has yet to tell her boyfriend that she is pregnant because he will make her stop drinking and doing drugs and besides having sex in her mom's bed, those are her two favorite things to do. Bobbi Kristina Brown (Whitney and Bobbis daughter)
LAWYER 09/18 **#3**
What host/reality star with almost A list name recognition takes so many pills to stay thin it is a wonder she can even function. Bethenny Frankel "Real Housewives of New York City"
LAWYER 09/18 **#4**
This Academy Award winner/nominee actress is B- despite her acting resume which includes awards and franchises. She has a voodoo doll of another Academy Award winner/nominee A list actress who our B lister thinks is her biggest rival for parts. Everyday without fail she sticks the doll, but until recently it did not do any good. No matter what our B lister does, she is never the first choice for the parts and ends up taking leftovers. Often the leftovers are bombs and she knows she will disappear if she can't start getting some of the leads. This consumes her. All she ever talks about is the A list actress. Talk to her for five minutes and she will start complaining. One day she got very lucky though. She was doing her usual spouting off and some guy who wanted to have sex with her started talking about how he had seen the A lister going back to a hotel room with a guy who was most definitely not her significant other. The A lister has always said she has a wonderful relationship and her whole family life is perfect. Our B lister has taken advantage of this by being very sneaky. She has told select people like female producers and directors. They end up not wanting to hire the A list actress because who knows if the actress might end up going after their guy. One role that the A list actress was a lock to get, suddenly went to the B list actress. Now she has a popcorn flick and keeps on spreading the dirt as much as possible.
GOSSIP 09/18 **#1**
This pretty and talented actress has done some growing up, but she continues to be haunted by her past. When she started out in Hollywood, she was willing to do whatever it took to get a job, and she entered into a full-fledged affair with a major Hollywood producer. After her career started taking off, she tried to end the relationship with The Producer. The Producer got very angry, and tried to sabotage her career, including telling every other director and producer in town that she was a "total slut" and "a machine in bed" and that they should require her to put out for a role. Since then, she has had difficulty landing good roles. She is much more mature and self-aware now and tries to land jobs based strictly on her talent, but her reputation precedes her. Stories about her from years ago are told as if they happened only yesterday. Weve heard that she "totally kills in auditions", but the producers or directors frequently offer to give her the gig only if she will put out. She winds up walking away. She walks away a lot. Since she has only been landing the occasional television or film role here and there, she has now turned to the theater. The good news is that she is doing really well in her current gig. The cast and crew uniformly agree that she is both a great actress and a great person to work with. She tells people that she is doing theater because she enjoys being close to home. But the truth is that she would rather be back on the big screen if she could only figure out a way to do so without being haunted by her past. She has clearly grown up. How long should she pay for mistakes she made years ago?
Actress: Gretchen Mol
Producer: Harvey Weinstein
Current gig: "Boardwalk Empire"
Theater: "Good mother"
GOSSIP 09/18 **#2**
This couple who youve seen on TV does a lot of posturing for the camera. They present themselves as a long-time, happily-married couple. Youve probably heard them give thanks for family and faith at some point. They do it a lot. Behind the scenes, though, its a totally different story. Dad is having an affair. With a young actress with whom at least one of his kids starred in a movie a few years ago. The young girl (who is known mostly for television) is now of age, and we dont know when the affair started, but the whole situation is really seedy. He is definitely old enough to be her father, and Mom and the kid/s are all really upset about it (yes, they all know). But there is nothing anyone can say publicly without ruining the reputation of the entire family.
Dad: Kevin Jonas, Sr.
Mom: Denise Jonas
Kid/s: Jonas Brothers
Actress: Anna Maria Perez de Tagle
Movie: Camp Rock
1. THIS 60-something stage and film star was caught in a hotel room wearing a dress and makeup! The Oscar winner, who married a popular 80s teen actress, attracted attention after guests called about a loud commotion in one of the rooms. When security and hotel management arrived, the actor shocked everyone by opening the door in full drag. He claimed he was doing research for an acting role, but no one bought it. Kevin Kline
2. WHICH well-respected actor of stage and screen is starting to show
signs of emotionally unraveling on the set of his critically acclaimed cable
show? The nearly 60-year-old star raised eyebrows when he suddenly and
mysteriously dropped out of a hit network show a few years back!
Actor: Mandy Patinkin
Current Show: "Homeland"
Past Show: "Criminal Minds"
3. THIS showbiz legend loves testing her star power! The Oscar winner took her spoiled pooch to a five-star luxury hotel that doesnt allow pets. Not only did she get them to bend the rules but also persuaded the chef to cook the dog organic chicken with carrots and potatoes and even had housekeeping bring it heated blankets! Barbra Streisand
4. WHAT aging British rock stars gorgeous daughter is getting a hotter reputation in Hollywood as a homewrecker than as a talented actress? The 20-something starlet is dating a married production assistant she met on her latest film. Phil Collins/daughter Lily
LAWYER 09/19 **#1**
This vegan who makes it very clear she is a vegan and mentions it every second that she can when she is not being a former almost A list actress who starred in an iconic role before dropping all the way down to her current B-/C+ movie or television depending on who will employ her has her assistant bring her a hamburger from Umami at least once a week and it is not a vegetarian one or even a turkey one. Alicia Silverstone
LAWYER 09/19 **#2**
This former A list usually movie actor and now a permanent B lister has always been good looking. He has also been in one of the more famous Hollywood marriages of all-time. Just like most of the other marriages in Hollywood though, it ended. She cheated and got caught. He cheated and just kept right on cheating into his next marriage. He has been busted cheating in the not too distant past, but still keeps on doing it. There are some nice photos of him right now holding hands and kissing a production assistant from his most recent acting effort. He had to buy those photos because he made a deal with his wife that he would not cheat. Oh, and the production assistant? Her "be quiet prize" was that she got a job on a movie as a production assistant to an A+ director and it did not take her long at all to work her magic. The married director already moved her into his hotel room. Anyway, I digress. Our actor cheater and not the director cheater, has not slowed down since being busted. He just is doing a much better job of not getting caught. He screens women now and prefers them to be in the business. No more random hookups with strangers in bars, although that is and was his favorite. He used to say that even though he was married to one of the most famous women in the world he could walk into any bar and get a woman to go have sex with him in under 15 minutes. He says it takes about 20 minutes now because he is older.
Actor cheater: Dennis Quaid
Famous ex-wife: Meg Ryan
A+ Director: Clint Eastwood
For the past few years, you have heard a lot about this Actors relationship with his Public Girlfriend. She is the actress, the famous one, the one who made them a star couple. But did you know that he has had a Private Girlfriend all along? She is an actress/singer/whatever (although you have likely never heard of her). They originally met a few years ago when she was living overseas. They dated for about a year, but he broke up with her after he became more famous and started dating more famous actresses (like Public Girlfriend). Private G was devastated, but she managed to remain friends with The Actor. That paid off for her. Every time he wanted to see her even when he was living with Public G he would fly her to wherever he happened to be New York, London, LA and they would simply pick up where they left off. She made it easy for him. Instead of criticizing him for being with another women, she would just bite her tongue and welcome him back with open arms. She made it so easy, in fact, that since the famous couples recent breakup, the two have been practically inseparable. In fact, The Actor and Private G are living together right now. Very quietly and very privately, of course. Will he reconcile with Public G? Well, both he and Public G know that they both are more marketable as a couple than they are as just a couple of actors. Insiders think that their reconciliation is inevitable and that Private G will be sent back to wait in the shadows once more.
Actor: Robert Pattinson
Public Girlfriend: Kristin Stewart
Private Girlfriend (not famous): Erika Dutra or Nina Schubert
LAWYER 09/20 **#1**
This A+ list actor who is an Academy Award winner/nominee was at an X-Games party a few years ago with his then wife. He was seated in the VIP section when he sees Shaun White come in. He has no idea who Shaun White is, but assumed that he is crashing the VIP area and calls over security to have the intruder thrown out of the area. Security swarms all over Shaun White and when they realize he is in the X-Games and that he is Shaun White, they let him stay. Shaun notices that security goes over to where our actor is and explains the situation to him. Shaun follows right behind and when he realized the actor tried to have him thrown out starts yelling at the actor who is drunk who starts yelling back and gets up and the two almost start punching each other. Meanwhile, the wife just sits there. Does not move a muscle or make any expression. Shaun decides to leave and throws the actor the bird on the way out. Mel Gibson
LAWYER 09/20 **#2**
What aspiring D lister and future porn star disappeared for a few weeks while she recovered from getting some work done to her face. She wants to look younger. Courtney Stodden
LAWYER 09/20 **#3**
Although it might be the Emmy Awards coming up this weekend, I don't have as many blinds about them as I do about Academy Award winner/nominees sitting around. Quick ones that I will post here. All the answers are Academy Award winners or nominees.
#1 - This A+ list actor takes a break between filming movies by spending a week with one or two women who don't speak a word of English. He says it helps him to relax because he can focus strictly on the sex and pleasure and not be cluttered with words. Sean Penn
#2 - This former A+ list actor who is now a B+ will only take a shower on the set of a movie if someone stands outside the shower door and also the door of his trailer. He is too scared of someone getting video of him. Tom Cruise
#3 - This A list actress broke up with one celebrity boyfriend because he wanted sex other than in just the missionary position. She says that is the only position she does except in a movie. Her celebrity husband must be thrilled. Nicole Kidman/Lenny Kravitz/Keith Urban
#4 - This A list actress (Academy Award) agreed to return to her B+ list actor husband after he had run off with an 18 year old wardrobe assistant. However, they have not had sex in the year they have been back together.
Its time to boost the ratings, so this show is planning two new storylines. You thought reality shows were real? Not really! The storylines could change before filming, but as of today, they are part of the next season. The first storyline involves the current relationship of two of the cast members. Its going to be about "control" issues. More specifically, its about a man controlling a woman what she says, what she does, what she wears, what she eats, who she associates with. It will have sinister overtones, and will try to play into womens natural sympathies for another woman who is being abused. No, she isnt really being abused. They just want her to become a more sympathetic character. The second storyline will involve a family "falling out". Everyone is actually getting along pretty well, so this "falling out" is going to be completely fake. It will primarily involve two cast members, but the rest of the cast will be divided into two teams who will each support one side. Hey, they need something for people to talk about. Even if it isnt real.
Show: "Keeping up with the Kardashians"
Two cast members featured in "Control" storyline: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Two cast members featured in "Fallout" storyline: Kris and Bruce Jenner
This Reality/Sitcom/Media Personality seems to have the world on a string, but does she really want to give it all up.......for a talk show?!!! NeNe Leakes
LAWYER 09/21 **#1**
Which troubled actress who used to be B list when she is a Tween but is probably more famous now than she ever was as an actress has been calling random people on her phone and asking them if they want to come over and have sex. Straight out asking them. No beating around the bush. Just come over right then if you want to have sex with her. She says it a little more crudely, but the point is made. The thing is she is calling every guy in her phone regardless of whether they were a boyfriend or if they are married or if they are old or young. The four people I spoke to all turned her down. She is getting yesses, but not as many as you think. Amanda Bynes
LAWYER 09/21 **#2**
How did this barely (and some question was whether she was when this first started) legal A list model get her first acting gig? She has become the personal sex toy of this A list director. Even though the movie has started shooting, she still has to have sex with him all the time. He says that she is his until the film has been cut for the final time. He also says that if she does not do a good job keeping him happy then all the sex will have been wasted because he will make sure her scenes are cut and never seen.
LAWYER 09/21 **#3**
This Academy Award winner/nominee actress is set to be the next beard for this former A list actor who is now a solid B who has been flailing around for awhile without a steady beard. Our actress, who is known for her acting, but not much else, wants a taste of fame she has not had yet. She wants covers of tabloids and a new level of marketability and is willing to be a beard. It is not like she dates a lot anyway. Jake Gyllenhaal/Jessica Chastain
LAWYER 09/21 **#4**
This couple was A list. They were everywhere. Every tabloid always had photos of them. They always seemed like an odd pair, but they were together for a very long time. She at the time was an A list actress. Every movie it seemed like mentioned her name as someone who might be in it, and she made five or six movies a year. He was A list too. A different kind of A list though. Most people say he used her. He used her knowledge and her contacts. He used her when he wanted sex which was not often. It is why he likes his current lady friend so much. She is happy with once every two months, just like our A lister. Our A list actress is a bit more sexual. OK, a lot more sexual and has never been shy about it. She always thought it was something she was doing wrong. She finally realized that she was being used, but she was not one to break up with someone. She wanted everything to work out. She was in love and thought she could change him. Then she met another A lister. He used her too, but she was ok with it because he gave her lots of sex. Tons of it. From within the first 30 minutes they met they had sex. He had always had strippers and escorts, but this was an actress. Someone he had seen at the movies. The guy was thrilled and it showed. He didn't like being the other guy though. Our actress could not force herself to tell her boyfriend about the new guy. So, they went on with their daily lives until one day the new A lister in our actresses' life was on a golf course and flat out told the boyfriend what he was doing to his girlfriend. 10 minutes later the relationship was over and our actress was with the guy she thought she was going to be with forever. Well, things change.
A List couple - everywhere and odd pairing:
1) A-list Actress who LOVES sex: Cameron Diaz
2) A-list BF who doesn't like sex and used her for her contacts and knowledge: Justin Timberlake
3) Current lady friend of former BF who also doesn't like sex: Jessica Biel
4) Other A-list guy who LOVES sex and strippers and escorts: Alex Rodriquez
The Velvet Mafia (gay Hollywood power players) passed this famous actor around earlier in his career. He became very famous, but when he had lapses in his career, he would always return to them. In general, he likes to be submissive when it comes to men, but when it came to women (yes, he has been with a few) he is definitely dominant. Sometimes people wonder how it is possible that no photos or videos of him with other men exist. Oh, they exist! In fact, there are lots of them, and many of them are already in the hands of the tabloids. But this actor has a deal with the tabloids. He feeds them dirt on other celebrities. In exchange, they can write whatever they want about him, and he wont sue as long as they dont publish the pics or the videos. So, all of you Hollywood hotshots: the next time youre wigging out because the tabloids are spilling the most personal and intimate details of your private life, you might want to take a look at the very famous actor sitting next to you because theres a good chance that he is the one who sold you out! John Travolta
LAWYER 09/22 **1**
Which A+ list female singer was caught backstage at a show this week with a male backup dancer down on his knees between her legs. The singer didn't even care and told the person, "Honey, he might be gay, but he still has a tongue and he knows how to use it." Rihanna
LAWYER 09/22 **#2**
This D list actress with A list name recognition says she is giving up acting because producers are making her audition and it is just too much work. She doesn't understand why her name does not get her more roles. She doesn't understand why she is not a big star and getting leads in movies. For now, she says that she will wait for people to call and to realize her extraordinary acting ability. Rumer Willis
Which new BBC comedy star was let go from a previous job after his enormous cocaine habit lead to him threatening to kill one of his colleagues while off his nut at work?
BBC comedy star: Jack Whitehall
New BBC comedy: "Bad Education"
Previous job: "Celebrity Big Brothers Big Mouth"
LAWYER 09/23 **#1**
Everyone thinks this C list celebrity couple with A list name recognition and kids is happy and everything is perfect. Not really. The couple try to never be at home at the same time. When they are, it is always separate bedrooms. The husband watches the kids during the day and the mom watches them at night. She thinks she has moved beyond him. He thinks she is a spoiled diva.
LAWYER 09/23 **#2**
What 90210 actress was at an event and ate one piece of food and then spent the night complaining that she was getting fat. She has reportedly lost 20 pounds off her already thin frame in the past three months. Love problems and trying to juggle a boyfriend and a guy she just has sex with. Annalyn McCord
LAWYER 09/24 **#1**
What Dancing With The Star contestant has quit the formalities of even meeting her latest fling for sex at one of their respective homes. They just do it right there in the studio. Pamela Anderson
LAWYER 09/24 **#2**
Emmy After Party: What former almost A list movie actress and now a C with almost A list name recognition and not known for being a sweetheart flagged down a man at a party last night and told him, not asked, but told him to get her a drink. When he said that he was a guest and not a waiter, our actress said she didn't recognize him and that she didn't believe he was anyone important and to get her a drink. Ashley Judd
LAWYER 09/24 **#3**
Emmy After Party: What A list married celeb who has made a big deal about his sobriety was spotted drinking booze last night. He was drinking them slow, but still managed to put away five or six of them all provided by his assistant. Must have been back drinking for awhile now, because he showed no effects. Keith Urban
LAWYER 09/24 **#4**
Emmy After Party: This actress is probably B list when it comes to talent, but only those who read the tabloids or watch certain shows probably know who she is. That being said, everyone would probably know her name, just not be able to match the person to it. Anyway, last night at an after party, someone asked our actress for a cigarette. She opened her clutch and a pharmacy fell out which could explain her falling asleep at a table and then waking herself up with a bump of coke from a vial in the same clutch. She could barely get it closed with all of the medicine and drugs inside it.
LAWYER 09/24 **#5**
This actress is B list. She does television and movies and has been in this spot before. Over the past few months she has been trying to reach out and make friends, which is something she has never had before. As she does reach out, they are pretty much immediately betraying that friendship and gossiping their little hearts out because what our actress has to say is amazing. The reason she says that she does not have any friends and sits at home without any with her every night is because when she was first starting to hit it big in Hollywood she was with guys right away. Actors, directors, producers. All men. They all wanted a piece of her and she believed what they had to say. To a man they were all also very controlling of her and jealous and many would beat her if she talked to another man. They considered her their property. She said that a few years of that treatment kind of took over and she was also not allowed to go out much on her own because of the jealousy factor so never really met other women except on sets and those friendships would be great on set but would end just as soon as shooting did. Now, she does not really have a man in her life. She has someone else though. No, not a woman. Other women have tried to befriend her but her social skills with women are awkward. She says that she is not even sure how she should pose with other women. She is afraid to go out much because of her drinking. She does it at home. She says she only gets drunk at home during certain times and is very safe, but when she goes out, she doesn't feel restricted and knows that is when she gets in trouble. She says that she has panic attacks about getting drunk and doing something stupid. She has had flings with all kinds of guys and knows when she drinks it does not matter if they are married or not or attractive or not, and that she has already had one life changing experience because of her drinking and does not want another. January Jones
Her drinking is now out of control. She gets drunk every time she drinks which is several times a week and cannot control herself. She thinks that getting drunk and obnoxious is what a girl her age is supposed to do, even though she has not been a teenager for a long time. After a night at the club, she will bring the party back to her house. She drinks straight from the bottle until she gets completely wasted. Then she likes to throw things: bottles, vases, picture frames. She thinks its funny to break things, and laughs while she does it. Her favorite thing to break? Anything that even vaguely reminds her of her ex-husband. Katy Perry
OF A HOLLYWOOD STREET KING 09/24
Im considered a rap legend, yet I seem to have run out of ideas. Thats why even my ghost writers have proven to not be able save me. As a rapper, I dont appear to have much talent, and my producing abilities are no different than P Diddys recycling beats, rather than creating new sounds. Despite all of that, Ive fooled the masses with countless fans continuing to bow down. My new entertainment deal has landed me at the top of the earners list, and my two proteges are doing their jobs in keeping my name out and relevant. Though business is good, my rampant steroid use may be affecting my memory and focus. My wife is quite possibly the worlds best beard, yet Im known for sporting more make-up than she does. Inner feelings of me having a strange man-crush on my new artist is the word thats beginning to spread. This after my last crush left me for a boxer. My new album has become some bizarre urban myth, yet Ive had beef with so many rappers that it aint even funny. Thats why my fear of one mogul led to my becoming a recluse, cause he was still extorting me long after I left that game. So, I recently called his PO to rat on his ass and hoped to get a protective order.
Rap Legend: Dr. Dre
Wife: Nicole Threatt, the ex-wife of NBA player Sedale Threatt
New entertainment deal: Beats by Dre
New artist: Kendrick Lamar
Last Crush: 50 Cent and Floyd Mayweather
New Album: "Detox"
Mogul: Suge Knight
This popular reality show had to fire one of its producers because of a "conflict of interest". The producer kept interfering in established storylines to set up one of the cast members to look bad. Why would the producer do that? Well, its not just because they personally didnt like the cast member. Its because they were having a affair with the cast members nemesis! The nemesis is desperate for fame and will do anything anything to boost her popularity and her own storylines. Even more startling is the fact that both the producer and the nemesis are women! Maybe they could introduce a lesbian affair storyline for her next season.
Show: "Real Housewives of New Jersey"
Cast member: Teresa Guidice
Nemesis: Melissa Gorga
(Producer Cat Rodriguez texting Jacqueline during the Pasche Fashion Show)
MORTON REPORT 09/25
This story did the rounds in the UK a few years back, but as the late Queen Mother used to say, "The old ones are always the best." A very famous and very wealthy female singer was invited to appear on a British television show. Used to dealing with stars, the television studio addressed the long list of requirements on the advance rider. On the big day all went well until after the performance and the star and her large entourage had left. Imagine the surprise when studio staff checked the stars dressing room and found that everything that wasnt nailed down had gone even the electric kettle.
LAWYER 09/25 **#1**
This B- list actress with a very unique look was overheard at an Emmy party talking really loudly about what she had just discovered that night. From a co-star on her current semi-hit television show. The co-star had been drunk and wanted to apologize to our actress for sleeping with our actress' co-star boyfriend. They just couldn't help it. Any of the three or four times they did it. Our actress was also on a very hit cable show.
B-list actress: Ginnifer Goodwin
Co-star: Lana Parrilla or Jennifer Morrison
Current semi-hit television show: "Once Upon a Time"
Very hit cable show: "Big Love"
Co-star boyfriend: Josh Dallas
LAWYER 09/25 **#2**
This A+ list reality star who has appeared on multiple hit shows heard this former A list celebrity and former television actress and half of some very interesting couplings was for sale or at least for rent and he did. She did draw the line at spending time with his friends too. Although, she is not opposed to spending time with his other girlfriends.
A+ reality star: Simon Cowell
Former A list actress: Carmen Electra
LAWYER 09/25 **#3**
Which A list female singer was having some alone time with a stripper/escort and doing some oral activity when our singer puked all over the stripper/escort. Good times. Hey, at least our singer tipped well. How do you compensate for that though?
LAWYER 09/25 **#4**
This former A+ list movie actress who started off on television has convinced herself that to get roles again in movies she needs to lose weight. The actress currently eats at most every other day. Her boyfriend, a former A list celebrity makes her try and eat but she then goes on a rant about how fat she is and that no one cares and that she used to be beautiful and a star and now she is not because she is fat. She weighs about 90 pounds right now. Meg Ryan & John Mellencamp (She needs to make some more movies with Tom Hanks. A sequel to Sleepless In Seattle. In the year since the blind it looks like she has put some weight back on and looks good.)
LAWYER 09/25 **#5**
This B list tweener who is almost old enough to drink from a very very hit tweener show hides behind a veil of virtuousness. In reality, she is dating a guy almost twice her age who she first started seeing when she was in her middle teens. She tells her tweener fans she is going to remain a virgin until marriage but in the next breath goes on long vacations and tweets photos from the bed she is sharing with her alcoholic and drug abusing boyfriend who loves younger women. He has already told her that she needs new breasts because he likes them perkier to remind him of young teens. Oh yeah, he is a winner this one. Our tweener actress never had a chance because she has been played by this guy for over 5 years every single day. .
Theres a casting change coming up on this reality show! This woman was originally brought on board to support the controversial star of the show. There are several problems, though. She and her husband are too broke to do or travel anywhere exciting; they are too boring to add anything in the way of storylines; and they have not been able to develop a passionate fan base. So while the star moves up, she will just be moved out. Thats the way the cookie crumbles! They will still appear on the show occasionally next season, but she will no longer be an official cast member. Since she faked her wealth to be on the show in the first place, were sure that she will make up some sort of excuse as to why she got fired as well.
"Real Housewives of New Jersey"
Kathy and Richie Wakile
LAWYER 09/26 **#1**
This B list actor/B list comedian with A list name recognition was seen doing shots of tequila before and after he performed the other night. Not to mention the couple more he had on the way to his car and driving himself away. Considering he has always said he is sober and mentions it almost everyday, perhaps he should be more honest with himself. HINT: Foreign born. Previously married to an A list celebrity. Russell Brand
LAWYER 09/26 **#2**
What C list actress/celebrity offspring of a former A list couple really should watch out for her safety. That tooth she lost the other night at the hands of her boyfriend will not be the last one she loses. His drug use is out of control and when she uses, they get into fights about his cheating and spending and one of these days he is going to kill her. He almost did once, but he missed her head when he swung at her with a baseball bat and just dislocated her shoulder. Bobbi Kristina Brown
LAWYER 09/26 **#3**
"I love when I get on a plane and leave my husband and kids behind. Most of the time I never want to go back. I only go back because I have no other place to go. I am always happiest when I am away from them all." B list actress/celebrity with A++ name recognition.
LAWYER 09/26 **#4**
This actress is on a very hit show. She is probably B list because of the show, but you would be hard pressed to spot her in a crowd or pick her out of a lineup. Despite all of this she has worked almost constantly in her relatively short career and in some very good roles. Her second big break is where all the trouble started. She got the job because of her talent, but because she started sleeping with the executive producer almost immediately, the rest of the cast disliked her immediately. Especially because the cast member she was replacing had been sleeping with the same executive producer and left when they broke up. So, right away, the cast was not friendly to her. Then when rumors started circulating about her getting her own show, the cast really started hating her. Hazing is an understatement to what they did to our actress. They made her life as miserable as possible. Would make her look bad on camera. Would try to get her to goof up or make a mistake. Would ignore her for days. Lock her out of her trailer or even lock her in which would cause her to be late and get yelled at. Wardrobe would always tell her she was gaining weight while actually making her clothes smaller. This would have producers telling her to lose weight. It was so bad that our actress walked off the show at least three times and vowed never to come back, but her executive producer boyfriend would always talk her back and tell her the co-stars would fade away into nothingness and she would be a big star and leave them behind. When he started sleeping with an extra she left him behind too.
1. WHICH deceased TV icon hid his gay lifestyle so well from fans and industry associates that not a single person approached his longtime lover at his funeral to offer condolences? But now the secrets getting out and one of his famous former co-stars from the classic sitcom they starred on intends to reveal all the juicy details in a tell-all book.
2. WHICH blonde Oscar winner known for helping out celebrities in crisis has reached out to Kate Middleton after her topless scandal made headlines? The squeaky-clean A-lister got chummy with Prince William and his bride when the couple was in Los Angeles last year and now she and Kate have become BFFs! Reese Witherspoon
3. WHICH two daytime talk-show co-hosts smile and chew the fat when the cameras are rolling, but as soon as the show is over they dont even speak? The chatty ladies cant stand each other and thats left their other co-hosts stuck in the middle. Daphne Oz and Carla Hall from "The Chew"; Elizabeth Hasslebeck and Whoopie Goldberg "The View"
4. WHICH out-of-control reality star pops into a fancy salon every two weeks to have her mustache waxed? The bad-tempered brunette she loves picking fights with her co-stars is terrified that her bushy upper lip will be visible on high-definition TV! Teresa Guidice "Real Housewives of New Jersey"
This entire celebrity family is totally stressed over the fact that one of the parents is having an affair. You just dont know it, though, because they all plaster on smiles for the cameras. The littlest one who still lives at home is the most stressed of all. To cope, he is eating his feelings. Thirty pounds of feelings in the last year, to be exact (but dont tell anyone). Jonas Brothers family
LAWYER 09/27 **#1**
What actress who is really not much of an actress but gets roles because of her name; her ex, and her dating history and still looks amazing was not impressed with the reception when she recently guest starred on an almost network hit. Apparently none of the cast really recognized her and didn't treat her with the respect she felt she deserved as a big star. She was also upset that she was just treated like any other one episode guest and not someone special. Denise Richards "90210"
LAWYER 09/27 **#2**
This foreign born B- list mostly television actor has been rising the fame charts the past few months. In a big way. Everyone thinks he is gorgeous and was thrilled that he had found a girlfriend. He didn't though and has had to back way off from being seen with her because his boyfriend was ticked.
LAWYER 09/27 **#3**
What NBA all-star was confronted by a former A list tweener who offered her special services to the NBA star. He told her that he could have anyone he wanted and never has to pay. She replied that he has never had anyone do what she will do for him and let him do to her. Apparently the line worked because they were spotted leaving together about two minutes later. Guess he broke up with his girlfriend. Maybe. Adrienne Baillon launch party of NBA 2K13
LAWYER 09/27 **#4**
This actress is probably C- list. She is one of those rare few though who still have A++ list name recognition despite a lack of acting talent or any kind of ability actually and relies on past glory and fading looks. Our actress used to be the most hands on mom imaginable. A few years of drug use, booze and financial problems though have turned her into an absentee mom. Over the past year she has not spent more than a day or two at a time with them and that is usually only after a month or two away. She calls it business. It is a series of parties is what it is. never ending parties which she finds much more enjoyable than sitting around being a mom. Even when she does see them, she can only focus on them for an hour or two before the sound of her drug pipe comes calling. She finds that much more interesting than her kids. Pamela Anderson
This reality star has been trying to get producers to cast the rest of her family for the past couple of years. They are constantly hanging around, trying to get camera time to prove what great full-time cast members they would be. They are also very active on social media, launching full-scale Twitter and Facebook attacks on whoever perpetrates the latest imagined slight on their family member. Unfortunately, all of this has backfired on them. The producers think that they are "ugly and negative" and will never bring any of them on board as cast members.
Star: Melissa Gorga
Show: "Real Housewives of New Jersey"
Her sisters: Lysa Simpson and Kim Pirrella
LAWYER 09/28 **#1**
This former reality star and now pretty much just a D list wannabe is telling friends she will never get pregnant again. Having a baby is way too inconvenient even with a nanny and it did not bring her as much money as she thought it would and she is worried she will not get enough child support to support herself when she splits with the baby daddy. Kristin Cavalleri
LAWYER 09/28 **#2**
This former A list mostly movie actress had a nasty breakup with her significant other who is also an actor not that long ago. When they first split she would call and text him non-stop saying she was about to kill herself. Twice she told him she had swallowed pills and was ready to die. The first few times this happened her ex would come running over or tell a family member to go over and check on the actress. Most of the time she was fine. On two different occasions she had taken pills and needed a doctor, but it was kept quiet. It was thought the actress needed rehab. The actress still calls her ex but now gets ignored. Her ex has given up on talking to the actress ever again and now her friends think she is one bad day or night away from really taking her life. Demi Moore
LAWYER 09/28 **#3**
What A+ list movie actor called up one of his very old girlfriends after his relationship broke up and the woman he thought he was seeing also split because she found out he was cheating on her too. Anyway, the actor called his ex who is also a celebrity and who is married and tried to get her to go out with him. He said they should get back together and that she was the love of his life and that she should leave her husband and come back to our actor. The celebrity agreed to go out with the actor and when she called him the next day to set up a time he said never mind and that he had found someone else. Johnny Depp and Kate Moss
LAWYER 09/28 **#4**
This person is a celebrity. Reality show? It is kind of a requirement now if you are a celebrity and she has had one. Not a very successful one though. Her life is not exactly filled with edge of your seat stuff and she is the offspring of A+ name recognition celebrity. Our celebrity who we will call Princess because that is what she prefers to be called by her friends and family was at an event the other night and no guys were coming up to her. They know what she is like and avoid her. This is a person who has modeling photos taken of her at least once a week and posts them to social media even though she looks nothing like any of the photos. In person, she looks way different, but always tells people she is a model. She rarely wears a bra when she goes out to a party because she thinks it makes her look sexier. Not really. She is starting to sag and it is not a good look. When she meets a guy for the first time she is willing to do pretty much anything right away so guys are usually into her at first. Then, they start getting the whiny voice and that when they come over to her place they have to say hello to each of her stuffed animals and she gets really upset if you forget their names. Considering she has named them some crazy Japanese names they are pretty easy to forget. Also very high on her list are proper manners. Not just opening a door, she wants the stuff from a 1930's movie. If you don't do something right, she scolds the person and tells them they need to watch a certain movie and then provides them with a copy later as a gift. Oh, when she scolds she does so while addressing her stuffed animals, and including them in the conversation. She gets exactly what she wants from her parents all the time and expects the same from her boyfriends. Oh, I forgot. Getting ready. You cannot call her and just say you want to go out and go see a movie. You need to provide her at least 12 hours notice and she will tell you that is barely enough time, but she can manage to pull it off. She then does spend the next 12 hours actually getting ready, but still looks like she did it in five minutes. Ally Hilfiger
Is this Basketball Legend back to creepin'? He barely made it out his formerly wild life alive. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm! Magic Johnson
Everyone is so excited that these two lovebirds are back together! Sorry, but that kind of naivete is going to come back to bite you on the butt. Why? Because their reunion is both fake and temporary. We told you before that they their original coupling took place in a publicists office. They became good friends, but nothing more. If they look like they are in love, it is only because they are actors. If they can convince you on screen, they can convince you off screen. They are now reuniting as a "couple" to promote their new film. The success of that film will enable both of them to command top dollar for subsequent films, after which they will be parting once again. Their breakup is scheduled to occur in 2013 after the DVD release. Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson
The Grim Reapers About to Claim the Life of a Beloved Leading Lady! You know how hard you usually work to identify the subject of our blind items? You may not wanna do that today, because once you figure out who this ones about, youre probably not gonna like it! You see, alongish-running (more than four seasons but fewer than nine), 60-minute series is gearing up to bump off one of its lead female stars. Even more upsetting, the soon-to-be-deceased is going to meet her maker off screen, in a car accident. (Her "last" episode will take place at her funeral. Closed-casket, even!) That the actress in question is on her way out wont come entirely as a shock, mind you for a while, the writings been on the wall, if not on her characters tombstone. But, since you wont get a chance to say a proper, sorta in-person goodbye, its highly likely there will be a bit of backlash. So, do you dare wager a guess as to whom is about to become roadkill? Kim Delaney
LAWYER 09/29 **#1**
This actress is C list probably. Almost everyone knows the name, but you would have a tough time thinking about movies she is in or putting a name with a face. What you would know is who she is dating. If you see photos of them, they are all over each other. He especially needed someone normal after his last relationship. She needed someone normal after hers but for different reasons. So, if they are all over each other all the time, then how come the other night she went home with a B+ television actor with A list name recognition. She told her friend that she just wanted a really hard body sometimes. That it is just sex. Nothing more.
LAWYER 09/29 **#2**
What former B list television and movie actress who is now retired, took a cab to a club, walked in to the club, walked up to the largest guy she saw who also happened to be with a woman. Our actress walked up to him and said he should come back to her hotel with her. It took him two seconds to walk away from the woman he was with and leave the club with the actress. Amanda Bynes
LAWYER 09/29 **#3**
They only dated a few weeks, but it was enough. In fact, the scandal that erupted while they were dating is probably the biggest thing to ever happen to this C list actress with the frequently changing hair color. The actor, A list, but just barely has always done meth. He says it helps him calm down. He has never been calm ever. He is always on edge, but it is what he believes. His current girlfriend stays away from it and the house when he is smoking but this actress did not and has been hooked ever since. Huge clumps of her hair are always falling out and her teeth have been replaced with veneers because she destroyed her real ones. Shia LaBeouf/Isabel Lucas
LAWYER 09/30 **#1**
This B+ television actor from a very hit cable show might be a new parent, but it does not mean he does not have time to spend quality time with his ex. Ever since our actor's wife has given birth, our actor has been spending more and more time with his ex. Even spending the night when he said he was having car trouble and it would be easier. Oh, and when he had too much to drink so said it would be easier to stay.
LAWYER 09/30 **#2**
What A list tweener singer had his most recent fight with his tweener girlfriend because she wanted to do some charity work for Halloween. Her boyfriend said she should not do anything Halloween related because it is the devil's holiday and that kids should not be allowed to dress up and should go to church instead. Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez
LAWYER 09/30 **#3**
What A+ list singer/rapper almost got denied entry into a fashion show this week because the designer did not feel the A lister showed enough respect for the shows. The designer was particularly upset with what the A lister chose to wear and said there is no way the A lister will be invited back next year. The only reason the A lister was not denied entry or kicked out was because it would have been to dramatic and taken away from the show. Kanye West
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Last updated: November 27, 2015