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1. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/01
WHICH A-list comedian shocked cast members on his latest film when his improvisation of a scene went a bit too far? He undid his fly, peed in full view of everyone on set and walked off.
Jim Carrey

Could it be that a certain bilingual babe has been flitting around the Big Apple with that terribly attractive lady lover? Ever since these two were thrown together as co-presents, tongues have been wagging that the two are more than friends. The sexy starlet and the grounded guru? A high-flying combination, to be sure, but one that has all the ingredients for a spicy dish that will leave you wanting more. Stranger things have happened.
Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayak

3. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/02
WHICH pop starlet is finding it hard to clothe herself? She's been trying to blag stuff from Notting Hill boutiques, but her "forgetfulness" in returning items means she's been blacklisted. Now she rings pretending to be her own assistant.

--WHICH Democratic party moneybags is getting divorced because he diddled with a candidate's daughter? To cap it off, his wife, the mother of his children then had a go with her personal trainer (a woman).
Brian Grazer

--WHICH billionaire buyout buccaneer called his 3-year-old son to the dinner table the other night and had him repeat to the guests a phrase he had taught the toddler: "I want to [bleep] you up the [bleep]"? The 23-year-old nanny complained to the boy's mother, who told her to get over it, and the nanny quit on the spot. Tom Gores

--WHICH handsome nightlife impresario not only cheats on his gorgeous wife, he also cheats on the gorgeous model who works the door at his newest club in Las Vegas? "The wife is too embarrassed to leave him after all they've been through,"said our spy, "so she deals with it." Rande Gerber, hubby of Cindy Crawford

5. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/04
WHICH starlet shocked record producers with her destructive antics at the wrap party? The gal had bags of disco dust and piles of prescription pills - and spent the evening dishing it out before passing out in a corner.

6. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/05
WHICH former manufactured pop band singer is finding it hard to make ends meet? Her Hollywood acting career has failed to take off, so she's resorted to setting up paparazzi shots of herself and new fella.

One Call-a-Cab Blind Vice: What do Spoona Moon and Barker Kumeselot have in common? Neither of these talented, tumultuous hotties can just say no when it comes to, fun! Last week, Spoona's stylist hit up a ridiculously trendy boutique. The stylist seemed freakin' fed up with everything, but for a damn good reason. "None of these clothes fit her right now," she sniffed, loud enuff for other shoppers to hear. "She's not eating at all, just doing coke." Oh, Spoona, come on. I thought you had some new good-influence friends? Sigh. Well, at least--as far as I know--she's not putting her wrecked head behind the wheel of a car. That's what Barker did last week, when he arrived at a high profile event seeming, well, high on life! (Booze, actually.) Anyway, Barker scared the Agent Provocateur panties and Hugo Boss briefs off some fancy-ass folks. "He showed up hammered and drove up on the sidewalk," whispers my stunned source. "And a cop had to take him out of his car." Miraculously, Barker did manage to make his way through the bash, which was very la-dee-dah--as in, no peeing in the planters, no chatter about network reality shows. But you won't see his puffy punum on the WireImage party page. He didn't--or perhaps couldn't--walk the carpet. Hmmm, maybe Spoona and Barker will head to Promises rehab together and embark on a gloriously codependent journey to love? Nah. They'd just wind up fighting over who's more seductive. IT'S NOT: Mary Kate Olsen/Chad Michael Murray; Chloe Sevigny/Michael Rosenbaum; Sharon Stone/Charlie Sheen

Spoona Moon: Lindsay Lohan
Barker Kumeselot:
Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luther on "Smallville"); Jeremy Piven

8. POPBITCH 05/05
Which film actress has just separated from her husband, but possibly would have done so earlier if she had read "big questions" last September, where his bit-on-the-side claimed that as he climaxed the husband had once shouted, "I love you, my dick love you, I wish I could rip my dick off and give it to you."

This American film actress likes to spend much of her time in UK - but doesn't know her husband is shagging half of London behind her back. A conquest claims that as he climaxed he once shouted, "I love you, my dick love you, I wish I could rip my dick off and give it to you."
Gillian Anderson

9. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/06
WHO'S the warbler who's battling a serious eating disorder? The veteran crooner is so petrified of putting on weight that she limits her food intake to 700 calories a day - and makes her self throw up if she accidentally over indulges.
Madonna; Celine Dion

Which '90s supermodel legend has such a drinking problem she carries minibar bottles around in her handbag?
Kate Moss; Naomi Campbell

Which bachelor Fox News personality is allowing himself to be set up on blind dates with women even though his homosexuality is the worst-kept secret in town?
Shepard Smith

12. NY POST/PAGE SIX 05/08
--WHICH Hollywood hellcat supposedly has a sick sexual fetish for something called the "Donkey Punch?" The starlet was having sex with a much-older boyfriend a while back and begged her shocked bedmate to"hit me in the face" at the peak of their passionate lovemaking.

--WHICH large-living celebrity chef may be about to get an intervention from concerned friends who are increasingly worried about his gargantuan appetite for cocaine, cigarettes and expensive cheese? Mario Batali

Could it be that a pair of soapy brothers got into a playful game of ass-grab at the Emmys? Eye should say long-lost brothers, since they never actually worked together (they were on five years apart - although they're barely three years apart in real life.) The black sheep is known as a ladies' man, although all of his high-profile paramours bail. The other is more of a nester, even if he has bounced around quite a bit professionally. Folks whisper that these two enjoyed their time together - and even had some company.
Ricky Paull Goldin (Gus Aitoro, "Guiding Light") and Rick Hearst (Ex-Alan-Michael Spaulding, "Guiding Light"; Ric Lansing, "General Hospital")

14. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/10
WHO'S the young actor who is struggling to keep his gay lover from spilling the beans to his girlfriend? The vain star's mission is to maintain the illusion that he's straight but his boyfriend is getting frustrated.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers

15. POPBITCH 05/11
--Which ex-lawyer comedian once disgraced himself in a hotel room by defecating in a kettle?
Rowan Atkinson

--Which Star Trek officer likes to pay high-class prostitutes to pleasure themselves with a large dildo while he reclines in an armchair listening to classical music?

16. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/11
WHICH young actor had a strange request when a waiter asked if he needed anything at a celeb pal's stag do? The heartthrob replied: "Yeah, can you do something with this?" and whipped out his manhood onto the drinks tray.

17. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/12
WHICH Hollywood A-lister does a very good job of snogging her boyfriend in public - even though she's having a secret fling with a top female model. If only she knew her model mate has another girlfriend she's far more interested in.

One Employee of the Month Blind Vice: Once upon a time, there was a talented young lass by the name of Morgan Mayhem. Oh, could she act! She was such a good performer that bitchy rivals simmered with green-eyed jealousy. But one day, a big bad she-wolf in Kitson duds named Coco Cocaine came along. She seduced Morgan with her overly vibrant, come-hither eyes--prettier than Wentworth Miller's, even--and then, suddenly, the big fat studio pigs were very, very sad. Okay, hold on. This is Hell-Ay; the pigs aren't heartbroken exactly. They're just plain disgusted and scared for their precious beaucoup-bucks accounts. Darlings, Ms. Mayhem has become the hottest li'l liability in Tinseltown. "Studios were all but in love with her," blabs one über-connected Armani clad producer. "But she's so unstable that everyone's becoming afraid to hire her. Her behavior on the set of Jump, Jive and High Five! is still talked about. She was beyond "distracted," for myriad reasons. At this point, Armani wearer makes air quotes with his hands and rolls his eyes, sucking back the rest of an overpriced designer something or other. "And we all know what that means." Oy, oy, boy. I wish there were something I could do to help ol' Morgan out. The problem is that she's about as solid and reliable as a sponge. Stick her with serious, stable, Oscar-hoarding types, and she'll transform into a Jodie Foster. But plop this babe in a Bel-Air frat-house crowd and, well, she'll be first in line for body shots. The solution is obvious. Ya stick the sponge in the desert and let it dry out. 'Course, first, you'd have to convince her to go. Not an easy task.
IT'S NOT: Queen Latifah; Paris Hilton; Keira Knightley
Morgan Mayhem -- Linday Lohan
Coco Cocaine --  Nicole Richie
Jump Jive & High Five -- Saturday Nite Live

19. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/13
WHICH American bimbette spent rather too long in the toilets of an L A club with a famous pneumatic pin-up? Bimbette is a bit of a Billy No-mates these days, and it looks as if pin-up has become her bosom buddy.
Paris Hilton/Pamela Anderson

Which boyfriend of a rising blond prime-time star celebrated his trip to New York last weekend with a ménage à trois at his hotel? Let's hope there's a real doctor on the set of that TV medical drama.
Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley

Which half of an ultrafamous former couple drunk-dialed her ex, after seeing a tabloid pix of him and his new squeeze, to tell him how stupid he looked? Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt (on Brad's mohawk)

22. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/16
WHICH starlet may be suffering from too many hairdos? Apparently, all the dyeing, straightening and lengthening has damaged her locks, so an atrichologist is giving her emergency hair repairs to stop it all falling out.
Lindsay Lohan

23. NY POST/PAGE SIX 05/16
WHICH sexy Hollywood hellcat is so desperate to spice up her love life with her longtime boyfriend, she has started inviting a famous actress to join them in three-way sex romps?

24. PerezHilton 05/17
Let us give you something to talk about! What recently divorced Saturday Night Live alum is gay? Yup, we're pretty shreked shocked too! The funnyman already has a boyfriend, and he's not that quiet about his new relationship. The star and his stud recently stunned partygoers by showing up together at a gay barbecue. "They were totally together ," a source tells us. Wow. We're all verklempt! This news is like butter! No way, you ask? WAY! P.S. This could explain why he and his plain looking former wife never had kids. Mike Myers

25. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/18
WHICH actor is a secret sex addict with a condition that means he can have sex continually more than 20 times in one go? The randy star even hired 40 hookers for his 40th birthday.
Tom Sizemore; Charlie Sheen

One Squat-Ready Vice: Toothy Tile has some clandestine company these days, and I'm not just referring to those starry dudes who are dangling soclose to suddenly revealed homo-card territory. Not at all. Ya see, Dubba Do-Me has been right out there, for years, walking that tightrope of pretend-hetero public infatuation, (mostly) stellar entertainment delivery and private-trainer poking, among other closely paid companions. Yes, yes, yes, said trainers are boys, all boys. They're the ones who secretly visit D.D.-M. on his myriad film sets, where Dubba's trailers always resemble many homes on the Great Plains, size- and price-wise. But don't get me wrong here, sweetcakes--we're not talkin' alleged Michael Jackson stuff, uh-uh. Let's just say Mr. Do-Me prefers guys younger than him. Much. Is this all such a big deal? Not really. But I suspect it will be, as more and more (two this week alone, that I'm aware of) have started complaining so damn loudly about having to peddle Do-Me's false image that they're getting mucho restless. Especially now that D.'s bitchin' bod ain't exactly what it used to be. In other words, get ready for Emperor Do-Me's clothes to become transparent rather quickly.
IT'S NOT: Kurt Russell; Eddie Murphy; Frankie Muniz

Which Hollywood comedian with a hit franchise under his belt seems to have changed teams since splitting with his wife? Insiders say the famous funnyman now has a boyfriend. Mike Myers

28. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/22
WHICH luvvie caused a stir on a recent photo-shoot for a posh mag? She insisted on picking the snapper and spent all day hitting on him and flashing him - much to his embarrassment. Good thing that her director husband wasn't around.

One Menacing Matchmaker Blind Vice: It seemed like serial dater Smarma Slut-Pop had finally snagged herself a winner. Bacon La Thighs seemed like a really upstanding guy, by all accounts. He just graduated college, has a guaranteed lucrative job waiting for him and is so not into the socialite scene. Indeed, Mr. L.T. seemed like the low-key yin to Smarma's do-hoppin' yang. And he's pretty damn cute, too! But, alas, it seems as if Smarma 'n' Beef just weren't meant to be. Evidently, Bacon's peeps and concerned buds got wind of the surprising seriousness of the tabloid-splashed relationship and put the killer-kibosh on it--to the best of their lethal, meddling abilities, that is. See, being photographed out partying with said Smarma was no good for Bacon's rep, not to mention that of his business. So, the La Beef dude was told by those who pay him and protect him to kiss the new object of his lust buh-bye. Parting over partying is such sweet sorrow, no? But Bacon's pals have hearts, too, cold as they may be. The Beef's campers hooked B.L.T. up with a bootylicious new babe who ain't a famous type. Hopefully, this local lass will keep Mr. Thigh entertained and outta the spotlight for a while. As for poor Smarma? It's back to the damn designing, drawing board for her. And let's just say the pickings are prolly pretty slim for Smarm-hon, unless she doesn't mind recycling.
It's NOT: Mischa Barton, Tara Reid, Sharon Stone
Paris Hilton & Matt Leinhart

30. Benjamin Nicholas 05/24
--IT'S GREEK TO ME AND HE'S HOT, but is this future billionaire on the bi-highway to gaysville? Eyes and ears at hotspot Pure in Las Vegas say they saw this young playboy quite literally playing with another boy! The Housewives definitely wouldn't approve of this well-known pairing. Stavros Niarchos; Paris Latsis

--WHAT AGING TEEN HEARTTHROB and current song-and-dance man was seen at a major airport enjoying a meal with what appeared to be his boytoy? With homoeroticism in technicolor, this duo was seen enjoying a quiet meal together, while one fork-fed the other with stars of romance in each other's eyes. I wonder if his wife knows about this? Forget his wife... I wonder if his CHURCH knows about this? Donnie Osmond

31. POPBITCH 05/25
Which US rock vocalist impressed crew and venue staff at their London gig's after-show party by copping off with a cute boy the first night and a cute girl the second?

32. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/27
WHICH up-and-coming film director beat a Hollywood star in picking up two girls, one French, the other Russian, at the Century bar in Cannes? He shepherded them back to his hotel suite for a three-in-a-bed romp - all aided by some dodgy pills.

Which two actresses who share screen time with a burly leading man in a top-rated TV show aren't speaking behind the scenes? There was drama last week when they both showed up at the same NYC party.

34. PerezHilton 05/28
What down in the doghouse wigga of a husband is so hard up for cash now that mommy has practically cut him off that he's been selling stories - on his own and with the help of his family - to the tabloids about him and the Mrs??? Hey, you gotta pay for your vices, but why you gotta be such a jerk? Kevin Federline

35. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/29
WHICH married Hollywood star once enjoyed a steamy fling with a male surfer named Brad? The man in question blagged his way out of a domestic disturbance after his wife got a letter from the hunk threatening to tell all.
 John Travolta\

Which replacement boyfriend might not be the best thing for his new g.f.'s drug problem? Apparently the very public couple share a private love of disco dust.
Kate Moss and Russell Brand

37. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/30
WHO is the Hollywood starlet who pulled out of a recent charity do when it wouldn't lay on a private jet? The beauty's mean streak surfaced when she heard she'd have to slum it in first class on a commercial air carrier.
Lindsay Lohan

38. NY POST/PAGE SIX 05/30
WHICH bed-hopping celebrity is going to be very disappointed with her strapping new man? He's small for his size - at least according to another gal-around-town who slept with him first.
Lindsay Lohan and Stavros Niarchos

39. 3 A.M. GIRLS 05/31
WHICH older movie beauty got so wasted at a glitzy party she had to be carried back to her room by her minders? The star homed in on the free bar but ended up passing out after she moved on to the Colombian marching powder.

40. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/01
WHICH ageing diva has been making discreet enquiries about having a second face lift? The star was sorry to see pictures of herself with crows' feet and is taking steps to get her youthful appearance back. Madonna

One Homo-Helper Blind Vice: Oh gosh, Wiggly Jiggle-Poof is too cute. America loves her. I mean, him. Or do I? Oh, let's back up, shall we? And that's an appropriate segue if there ever was one, because Wiggly--a desperate eager type from Blandsville, Anywhere--got more than just a foot in the door, know what I mean, my jaded jellybeans? Let me be more clear (not exactly my strong suit, I know): Wiggly was helped enormously with his glitzy 'n' glam gig by a certain in-the-closet major Biz player by the name of Burp Behemoth. Yes, sexual favors were included in exchange for W.'s 9-to-5 rise. Just as long as W.J.P. remained available for Burp's pleasures, when he so chose, which actually turned out to be not that often. So, was it all that bad, in the end? Certainly not for Mr. Jiggle. That is, unless more and more boob-tube devotees discover the little deal J.P. made with the Tinseltown devil--with whom many of us are so often tempted to do bidness. IT'S NOT: Mike Myers; Will Smith; Matt LeBlanc
Ryan Seacrest and Merv Griffin

42. POPBITCH 06/02
Which actor, who still appears on TV but is probably best known for a starring role in the first of a long-running movie franchise based on a much-loved TV show, is currently staying in a hip central London hotel? The actor so enjoyed his in-room massage this week that he did a full Kevin Costner. Without any shame the actor looked up at the masseur, asked her for some tissues and gave himself a Happy Finish.

43. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/03
WHICH diminutive actress threw a strop in an L A restaurant when given her £10 bill? She begrudgingly paid but snapped that "celebs should be comped" before leaving without tipping. Eva Longoria

Which axed daytime talk host was known to enjoy his 9 a.m. OJ "with about 90% vodka," according to one guest on the show?
Tony Danza

--Which married TV chef is having an affair with the show's publicist?

--Which prize-winning author and Hollywood director once spent a post-Oscars party together locked in a bathroom and drinking Champagne naked in the bathtub, while complaining about their film's leading lady, who won that night instead of them?
prize-winning author: Bill Condon
Hollywood director: Rob Marshall
leading lady: Catherine Zeta-Jones

46. NY POST/PAGE SIX 06/05
--WHICH super-skinny celeb says she wants to gain weight but can't? Seems that when she was not so thin, she had her stomach stapled and is stuck with her skeletal look.
Nicole Richie

--WHICH Hollywood starlet, who's earned a rep for sleeping with almost anyone, is now into threesomes? She likes to get it on with two guys at once in club bathrooms. Lindsay Lohan; Paris Hilton; Tara Reid

--WHICH young, divorced celebrity left her man because she thought she had found true love with someone else? Sadly, the guy she had an affair with freaked out when she left her husband for him and hasn't called her since. Jessica Simpson

--WHICH actress is so desperate for male attention, she's been known to turn into a "psycho-stalker?'' After her last one-night stand, her conquest, whom many assumed to be gay, said he couldn't get rid of her. Teri Hatcher

47. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/07
WHICH 80s singer still harbours delusions of grandeur? She insists on using silver cutlery and bone china crockery backstage at the low budget musical in which she stars.
Cyndi Lauper

48. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/08
WHICH star threw a diva strop when she found out she'd been booked onto a British airline for her flight from the States? She threatened to pull out of an awards bash if she wasn't moved to American Airlines.
Jessica Simpson

49. POPBITCH 06/08
Every year at the Monaco Grand Prix, a luxury yacht weighs anchor in the harbour and acts as a brothel for the drivers. One of the crew members recently revealed his favourite story. A couple of years ago, a recently retired F1 favourite disappeared into a suite with two hookers, but asked the crew to watch his phone as he was expecting a call. His wife was in hospital in labour. When the phone rang, a crew member duly took the phone into the suite to find the bed covered in shit. The star had taken so much cocaine he'd lost control of his bowels. Still, this didn't phase the driver, as he calmly took the call from his mother-in-law, informing him that his child had been born. How sweet.

One Heh-Heh-Heh Blind Vice: Grabby Goose-Egg, a major H-town playah, fooled around on his classy wife for ages--old story, to everybody save Missus Goose-Egg, who was roundly humiliated when she discovered her hubby's regular diddling sessions with Girlfriend Hex. It was worthy of a bad Julia Roberts movie, really. Eventually, G.G.E. did the typical-male thang: He dumped the wife who had always stood by him (not to mention provided him with a family) and married the vixen S&M type. Doncha just know how happy they are together now? No? Well, more on that surprise ending in a sec. First, gotta tell ya the first Missus G.E.'s fancy-pants buds, on the boards of most Hell-Ay charities, have mouths that make truck-driver bitchery pale in comparison. See, when they discuss the new Missus Goose-Egg, they typically use words that not even I would deign to repeat--and for this Texas-born trash collector, babycakes, that's sayin' somethin'. What, have recent hell-raising hookups finally made Tinseltown spouses stand up and revolt? Perhaps. It's no question, though, that the original sinner, Grabby himself, is up to his old tricks again. He's treating his va-va-voom bride like crap, ditching her to watch sports, among other manly activities, every chance he gets. Fitting, no? IT'S NOT: Brad Pitt; Donald Trump; Denzel Washington

51. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/08
WHICH ditzy blonde was kicked out of her favourite LA shopping haunt for good? The girl in question was escorted out by security after smoking a "funny-smelling cigarette" in the loo, setting off the smoke alarm. Not so clever after all.
Tara Reid

52. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/10
WHICH starlet and her infamous publicist were spotted going through the contents of their goodie bags after a showbiz bash and complaining about the contents? A bit ungrateful, especially when the party was organised by a friend.

Which famous rock wife told her 12-year-old daughter, who came down to breakfast one morning in a snit, "Young lady, you go back upstairs and smoke a joint, and don't come down again until you're in a better mood"?

--Which tattooed married man, who presents as the perfect husband to his equally famous wife, is making music with a pretty young thing whenever he visits New York?
Dave Navarro/Carmen Electra; Travis Barker /Shanna Moakler

--Which loudmouthed Los Angeleno is being urged by his embarrassed family to enter rehab after recent unfortunate publicity? Brandon Davis

--Which Broadway musical cast is buzzing about the rumored affair between their unsingle leading man and his very lovely co-star? This wouldn't be the first time she had, ahem, collaborated on a show. Harry Connick, Jr. and Kelli O'Hara from "The Pajama Game" (previously linked to Debra Messing from "Will & Grace")

55. 06/11
--Which former teenage heartthrob had the hots for his TV Dad? Seems the lust ended when daddy dearest picked him up from his house, under the pretence that they were going to have a little oral stimulation, then dropped heartthrob off at a drug rehabilitation center, telling them to throw away the key. John Wesley Shipp and James Van Der Beek (JWS was let go from "Dawson's Creek")

--Which TV Daddy was fired from his show after years of sexually harassing his super hot TV son?

--Which country singer, who has been cleaning house at award shows lately, once did gay porn to pay for college? Billy Currington; Kenny Chesney

--Which soap diva is so disenchanted with her "straight" co-star, she once told producers: "I hope some little faggot shoves his cock so far up his ass that he chokes to death on it!"

56. Billy Masters 06/12
Could it be that a certain swinger is impressing some theatergoers on stage and off? So say our sources in the Big Apple, who tell me that the crooner known for his body of work, is indulging in a bit too much partying in gay clubs. That's certainly no crime, but I'm told the more he indulges, the less clothing he wears. And the less clothing he wears, the more he enjoys being publicly idolized - by as many men as possible. Of course, the more he partakes, the less he remembers the next day. I bet some risque photos being circulated could jog his memory.
 Josh Strickland, former American Idol contestant And current star on Broadway as the title role in the musical "Tarzan".

57. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/14
WHICH fallen r&b star was thrown out of a music store after they refused to accept what appeared to be a fake £50 note? He won't be allowed back there any time soon.

58. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/15
WHICH celeb's ego is so out of control even her PR thinks she needs a reality check? The blonde's flunkey was heard saying she is "heading for a fall."
Billie Piper

59. POPBITCH 06/15
Which beautiful Oscar winning actress has hygiene issues? She's known to some in the industry as "Stinky Minge".
Julia Roberts

One Diva-Damning Blind Vice: Hell hath no fury like a homo threatened, that's fer sure. A few weeks ago I told you all about Jiggly Wiggle-Poof, this queen America is so busy watching be outwardly hetero but inwardly so "show tunes and smart cocktails" it's pathetic. See, Jiggly got his rise to fame via sexual and other transactions with a well-heeled, fellow-closeted homo, a fact Mr. Wiggle-Poof goes to great lengths to hide. However, over at the Hollywood offering on which Mr. Wiggle-P. performs, there lies another pooftah who's far less caring about his sexuality. Name's Press Prune. In fact, Press could give a Homo Depot clerk's ass if anybody discusses his bedroom habits, just for the record. This bothers Jiggly enormously. See, Mr. Wiggle-Poof, an ultimately rather small-minded and unimaginative nerd, is so busy imagining the zillions of slights he thinks Mr. Prune is busy concocting against him he's not bothered to notice Press has done activities far worse than J. could dare imagine--as in nothing. Press doesn't give a whit for Poof, one way or the other. Who cares? Jiggly, that's who. So much so that Jiggly, frantic and rageful, cried to the guns that control his and Press' shared booby-tubey offering, just to see to it that P2 is punished. Didn't work. Wonder why? IT'S NOT: Jamie Foxx; Laurence Fishburne; Anderson Cooper
Jiggly : Ryan Seacrest
Well-heeled homo: Merv Griffin
Press: Ted Casablanca
Shared booby-tubey offering: E! News

61. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/16
WHO's the Hollywood starlet whose over enthusiastic use of Colombian marching powder has earned her the nickname "nosebag"? The young babe's A-list pals think she's out of control but she finds their insults hilarious.
Kirsten Dunst

Which storied celebrity marriage ended with an "intervention" when he told her, "Yes, I cheated, but it's either the coke or me"? Since they're both now with other people, I guess we know how that turned out.
Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston

Which TV celebrity who has a full-time job professing her happy marriage probably doesn't know about her husband and her (male) decorator? Star Jones

She's more than a stylist - she's also a drug pusher! This fashion icon dresses some of the hottest stars in Hollywood and it's no surprise that she specializes in size 2! She keeps her customers lean and mean by dealing drugs - from diet pills to cocaine. THAT'S how she built up such a loyal clientele - they're HOOKED on her services! But some smarter celebrities have stopped working with her because her secret is starting to leak out.
Rachel Zoe

65. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/19
WHICH rocker stunned the concierge at his swanky hotel by demanding "a choice of seven hookers" in his room? When the staff member refused he insisted on being driven to a nearby brothel.

66. Billy Masters 06/19
At Gay Pride Los Angeles PrideFest, in the midst of all the revelry, I spent some time with an out luminary who was there all by his lonesome. The reason was crystal clear - his beau is still closeted, causing the couple constant conflict. I don't envy either of them - the one who is out and proud and clearly angst-ridden or the one who thinks he'll lose fans by being himself. I expect an announcement any day now - or yet another divorce.
Lance Bass ("N Sync)/Reichen Lehmkuhl (Amazing Race)

67. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/20
WHICH A-list singer banishes her husband to the spare room because of his snoring? Nothing comes between her and her eight hours' kip so her other half gets booted out of the marital bed.

68. JANET CHARLTON 06/20 #1
A powerful religious cult has set their sights on a major female celebrity whose career has plateaued of late. The cult's most famous member has been stirring up a lot of controversy recently and the group wants another big name they can depend on. This powerful female celebrity has been hanging around with a new best friend lately - a performer who happens to be a high ranking member of the cult. All signs point to imminent recruitment.

Cult: Scientology
Powerful femal celebrity: JLo
high ranking member of the cult: Leah Remini

69. JANET CHARLTON 06/20 #2
This cute actress doesn't get along with her mom, but she'd be shocked to learn what her mother's doing to pay the bills these days. She's a dominatrix! Since her successful daughter cut off financial assistance, her mom tried practically anything to make ends meet. Finally she's found a profitable career. Mom charges upwards of $1000 an hour to berate and whip businessmen into submission. Like only a Hollywood stage mother knows how to do!
Drew Barrymore and her mother Jade

70. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/21
WHICH pin-up shocked a beautician by demanding that she give her other half an all-over body wax - while she filmed the experience? Apparently, she gets turned on by seeing her partner in pain.
Dita Von Teese/Marilyn Manson

71. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/22
WHICH celebrity's recent rapid weight loss owes more to her strict diet of just lemon and hot water rather than the exercise regime and healthy eating program she claims it's down to?

72. POPBITCH 06/22
Which rock singer is back on heroin? His band mates are getting worried and their tour is in jeopardy.
Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode

This guy is way up there on Hollywood's A-list. Not only is he gorgeous but he's the cleancut type who tries to do the right thing. Most of the time. His sweet and model-slim girlfriend enhances his wholesome image. But this actor has a secret double life. He likes to read sex newspapers and call up the ads for private entertainment. He was captivated by an ad for a massage parlor featuring a photo of a gigantically endowed triple D sexy massuese. He visited the seedy Hollywood massage parlor and charmed all the girls but insisted on a session with the voluptuous one in the ad. Wouldn't his weight conscious girlfriend be surprised to learn that now her guy sneaks away for visits to this well-upholstered massuese whenever he can!
Orlando Bloom

Hollywood Whodunit: This glamorous Hollywood couple has some real problems with trust. The husband regularly has his sexy wife followed and spied upon to make sure she doesn't stray when one of them is working and they're not together. She's flattered by the attention from her obsessive hubby but the funny thing is, SHE'S the faithful one. It's the suspicious and oversexed husband who's doing the REAL cheating! In fact, he has affairs going on with THREE other actresses right now and the wife is oblivious.
Michael Douglas Catherine Zeta Jones

75. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/26
WHICH party-loving Yank showed a decided lack of table manners by throwing upon the table at a members-only club during a visit to the UK a few weeks ago? Bet she wouldn't do that at her hotel. Paris Hilton;
Lindsay Lohan

76. Billy Masters 06/26
BTW, Culture Club ain't the only 80s group making a questionable move (for full story: Word has it that members from two formerly competitive bands are getting together to form a supergroup via television. Problem is, both original bands are still together, which has made for an awkward situation. Stay tuned for the unavoidable catfight.

One Tush-Taboo Blind Vice: Toothy Tile, per usual, is in not just in considerable company, but in esteemed sexually inhibited company. But first I've got to get something off my chest (or rump, as it were): Why are American men so damn afraid of their butts? Gay and straight, mind you. Damn, tons of my hetero girlfriends tell me they so much as sneak a little, manicured index finger toward the boyfriend's derriere and wham, that little digital mission gets shut down somethin' pronto! Not so every male in Hollywood (or the world, mind you). That's fer sure. Take Wave Ridden, for ince. He keeps putting out these simple-minded movies (which, nevertheless, keep earning sizable bucks at the box office) all while pretending to trot around a girlfriend, but she holds that position in name only, I assure you. W.R.'s preferred position is the one Ang Lee infamously afforded us in that Brokeback Mountain pup-tent love scene. Be it with a guy providing the real-life anatomical McCoy or a gal with the synthetic-molded version. Too funny: Wave, a dude who's really much less charming than is our beloved Toothy, even picks up his equal-opportunity partners in the most plebian of places: mall parking lots, busy Hollywood streets, drugstores--less so fancy-schmancy Hell-Ay parties. Now Toothy would love to (and does) have sex at any of the previous places, mind you. The difference? Toothy only does the deed with his slightly snotty b-f; never a stranger, please. Where does the salacious subterfuge end? How much longer can Wave, who's aging okay (for now), keep up this stupid sound-bite parade with his perky pretend honey? Friggin' forever, if you ask this jaded goss. I mean, Toothy'll be on the cover of The Advocate, officially declaring his hunky homo-ness, by the time Wave gives up his predictable posing. So boring, really. IT'S NOT: Christian Slater; Eddie Murphy; George Clooney
Matthew Mcconaughey

78. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/27
WHICH singer's boyfriend is seeing other men behind his back? This star would be devastated if he knew his man is cruising for guys on the web - and acting on it.

This megastar has an unusual perk written into his contract: He MUST have a special assistant who's only job is to make this difficult star happy. The catch? The "assistant" is really the star's drug dealer! The star orders a mountain of drugs and bills THE STUDIO under the guise of personal care items. The studio is footing the bill for thousands of dollars a day because they feel it's cheaper to keep the star happy than risk him walking off the set!

80. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/29
WHICH musical celebrity is still indulging in drugs, despite claiming the contrary? If the silly boy in question isn't off his face from snorting lines of cocaine, he's totally zonked out on sleeping tablets.
Boy George

81. NY POST/PAGE SIX 06/29
WHICH actor, who's had two blockbuster movies in the last three years, refused to leave his trailer the other day until he was paid by the new film's over-extended producer? Seems the star and his castmates hadn't been paid in a timely fashion.

82. POPBITCH 06/29
Which old pop group played a gig in Nottingham last weekend and managed to offend almost everyone at their hotel? The band all booked single rooms but then each smuggled someone back late that night. When cleaners started hoovering the hallways the next morning, one member of the band strode out naked from his room, told the cleaners to fuck off and that he'd hit anyone who didn't stop... "didn't they know who he was?" etc. And when the band checked out, staff discovered a turd in one of their beds. Seems like the band must have consumed too much red, red wine the night before. UB40

This he-man actor went to a swinging Beverly Hills party with a male friend and they encountered two playful strippers. Fueled by liquor and drugs, the leading man and strippers ended up in the host's bedroom putting on an explicit show. The guy got so carried away he pulled five or six onlookers to join in the orgy. And guess what - the sex-mad stud turned his attention to his male companion and forgot all about the girls! He lived to regret the exhibitionist bisexual fling because Hollywood loves to gossip and that moment of madness caused everyone to re-evaluate his machismo!

84. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/30
WHICH 80s pop star has fallen on hard times? The singer has borrowed £400 from a friend's bank account and if he doesn't pay it back soon, he's going to be brought back down to earth pronto.
"Ground Control to Major Tom." Peter Schilling

85. NY POST/PAGE SIX 06/30
WHICH swordsman son of a 60-something movie star has been spreading lice to some young, sexually active Manhattan women? A well-known partygirl who recently spent the night with the stud was one victim, and then learned some of her friends were also infested.
Cameron Douglas, son of Michael Douglas

--WHICH supermodel has personal assistants sign papers upon employment guaranteeing they won't sue her if things go sour? The agreement stopped one from pursuing a complaint after being pushed out of a moving car a few years back. Naomi Campbell

Nobody wants to say anything to his face, but coworkers just can't stop gossiping about this actor behind his back. This drop-dead handsome guy starred in a hit series just a few years ago and he's recently finished a new pilot. But he showed up on the set looking "alarmingly thin! "Startled coworkers describe him as a "male lollipop" and compare his physique to Calista Flockhart. Has anorexia or bulemia spread to the male side of Hollywood? The once gorgeous actor is also uncharacteristically irritable. The TV pilot's famous director didn't complain because he's super skinny himself!
Dylan McDermott

Last updated:  June 30, 2006