March and April 1998  

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Memo to the tough-guy actor who picked up that waitress at a downtown boite: She has been telling people that you got her back to your loft with the line, "Do you want to see my exercise equipment?" She also says that once she was pumping your StairMaster, you came up behind her and sank your teeth into her fanny.

2. NY POST/PAGE SIX...03/04.....#1
WHICH Broadway musical star is having quickies with a married chorus girl in his dressing room? One of the main jobs of one of the theater's security men is keeping the chorine's hubby at bay until they've finished ...

3. NY POST..PAGE SIX....03/04...#2
WHICH women's ice-skating champion, now professional, was flirting with a cute guy at Au Bar on Sunday night, but then switched her attention to a curvy Russian girl on the dance floor? ...

4. NY POST/PAGE SIX....03/04...#3
WHICH major mannequin recently decided to terminate her pregnancy because the relationship with her mate is less than ideal for raising a child? She had it done in Europe for discretion's sake

5. NY POST...03/04...#4
WHICH English male model renowed for his prowess with women is also available to the right kind of guy - the kind with cash? He recently trysted for free, however, with the hunky lead singer of a rock group that was white-hot three years ago.

MYSTERY ACHIEVEMENT: What charitable TV star had her bubble burst by the impoverished woman she's been sponsoring for a number of years? It seems the down-and-out lady left her small children unattended during yet another trip to the delivery room. The lonely tykes called the star's office to complain about being hungry. Bad move. Social services were notified and took the kiddies away from mom....

7. STAR MAGAZINE...03/03
This TV superstar is young, pretty and living high on the hog, but she doesn't want to live alone. So she moved a platonic male friend into her fancy digs. He seems like a nice guy, but little does she know what he does when she's away working! First he gets himself high as a kite on drugs. Then, since he has a fetish for call girls, he calls sex magazine ads for the kinkiest gals he can find. He loves pain and pays extra for the girls to bring big sex toys. Where he gets the $300 and up to pay for these sessions is a mystery! Worst of all, the guy gets so drugged up he doesn't realize the call girls are getting into his famous roommate's private things and helping themselves.

8. GLOBE...03/03..#1
This movie superstar is so hooked on hookers that he refused to do a European promo tour until his movie company agreed to send "dates" to his hotel suite every night of the trip!

9. GLOBE...03/03..#2
The REAL story behind this Hollywood beauty's pending divorce is that she was having sex with at least TWO women each week! At first her kinky mate encouraged her to take an occasional lesbian lover, but when it became an obsession he said bye-bye!

Competition may be stiff for the title "saddest girl in town," but one leading contender is that young critics' darling who appears to be devolving into a near-recluse who can barely slog through the day. The warning signs have been flashing for years, but lately things have nose-dived. It seems that a publicity tour for her most recent flick so stressed the poor thing, her costar had to set her straight with pep talks and practically drag her out of hotel suites to meet the press. Isn't this the same girl who so recently looked so likely to go the career distance?

Who's the cheapest guy in town? Competition for that title is pretty fierce, but one leading candidate is that movie director who might just be as despised as he is rich. What really separates this guy from his pack of fellow nasties is his penchant for hiring limo drivers (who privately refer to him as "The Asshole"), having them drive him to Timbuktu as he brags about his power, influence and money, then, once the destination is reached, tantalizing them by rifling through his expensive wallet packed with hundred-dollar bills, only to deliberately drop a mere quarter in their palms, saying, "Have a nice day." Several limo companies refuse to service him and waiters all over town know him as a skinflint. His day is coming though. Wait until his kids grow up, because one of them is sure to write a tell-all book about him.

What older Oscar-winning actor had hoped to move into a Malibu beach pad with a sexy young lady, but nixed the plans when she refused to fool around with porno stars?

Missy famous model/actress always had a passion for women, drugs and rock and roll, but times have changed. Now she rarely gets out of her secluded home in the hills where she spends most of her days boozing, eating and watching videos...alone.

13. STAR MAGAZINE...03/10...#1
One of TV's hottest hunks was rushed to Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center recently because of his addiction to the steroid Anadrol. "He thought he'd had a stroke," says a Hollywood fitness expert.

14. STAR MAGAZINE...03/10...#2
A macho film legend is facing painful bone surgery because his past dependence on steroid-like growth hormones caused his left leg to grow longer than the right.

15. STAR MAGAZINE...03/10...#3
The actresses on a top-rated TV show stopped taking Clembuterol, a mild steroid that builds muscle while burning fat, after the drug filled their heads with terrifying paranoid fantasies. All the same, one of Hollywood's best known busty pinups continues dosing herself with it.
Actresses: Jennifer Aniston; Courtney Cox
Busty pinup: Anna Nicole Smith

16. STAR MAGAZINE...03/10...#4
Another female star who used steroids to bulk up for a plum movie role had to drop out of sight for two years after the drugs shrank her breasts, gave her a square jaw and left her in a twilight world halfway between a man and a woman. The fitness expert says: "It was like she was giving herself a sex change."

17. STAR MAGAZINE...03/10...#5
"The pressure of staying fit is what landed the thirty-something TV action hero in the hospital with stroke-like symptoms," says the fitness expert. "His TV schedule makes eating right and training very difficult. Then he has a movie to do in the off-season. So he's gonna go get steroids." Even after his brush with death, the star is still taking the drugs - although in milder doses.

18. STAR MAGAZINE...3/10...#6
This movie hero appears to be a loving husband and father in the Disney tradition, but when he's on location or the family's away, it's another story. He heads for the male bathhouses to seek out anonymous sex. Despite his famous face he hungrily prowls - eyeing every guy in the place. He likes fast uncommitted sex with all types, all colors. One week he was seen four nights in a row cavorting in the steam room. He's the talk of the gay community and if anyone spills the beans his career will be shattered.

Guests at that swank Manhattan hotel complained long and loud when they sniffed noxious ordors emanating from the suite occupied by one of Hollywood's best-looking, most pretentious heartthrobs. Management investigated and were surprised the sickening stench didn't come from a corpse or rotting food, as some guests speculated, but from the idol's closet - he never washes his clothes. How does his glam girlfriend stand it? Seems her nasal passages are so blown out by coke she can't catch the whiff.
Johnny Depp/Kate Moss

Hyde in plain sight: Isn't it just a matter of time before this walking time bomb explodes? Maybe the good-looking guy believes he's convincing the public that he's nice, hard-working and humble, but the heroin to which his lowlife girlfriend got him accustomed is bringing out his dark side. He's become so combative on film sets, so erratic in his work, and so freaky in his personal life that friends are shunning him and moviemakers are beginning to look to less troublesome leading men.

Three on a match: Diners at one of L.A.'s chic restaurants couldn't help but notice the three household-name female stars having the time of their lives laughing, dishing and sharing confidences at the best table in the house. The evening really started to heat up when the women set a photograph afire and watched it burn in an ashtry. Who was the lucky person in the picture? A nastily competitive, young no-talent with whom all three costarred in bombs. And who all three deeply despise.

He's box office gold, every woman's dream and extremely loaded. But just how does this old fox keep looking so suave when his nights are full of booze and babes? Just ask his tres busy plastic surgeon.

Missy perfect-pitch songbird ain't so perfect after all. Seems she has a nasty drug habit and a penchant for torrid tantrums. Guess her hubby's bad habits are finally rubbing off on her.

24. STAR MAGAZINE...03/17
This breakout sitcom star is even more bizarre than his TV character. After hours he overindulges in drugs, drinking, and kinky sex. He's been kicked out of nearly every bar in Hollywood. He likes to mix his liquor with crystal meth and stay up on long binges. While flying high, he's a switch-hitter with an appetite for gay porn videos and fetish sex - particularly S&M. There's nothing he likes better than having sex with a guy while being ordered about by a dominatrix in high, rubber boots. Too bad his wife caught him redhanded and walked out recently!

25. GLOBE..03/17...#1
This TV funnyman boasts to pals that on every flight he renews his membership in the "Mile High Club" by having sex on the plan. (Even when his new wife isn't with him?!?!)

26. GLOBE..03/17..#2
This current darling of the big screen was such an obnoxious brat while growing up that neighbors wouldn't let their kids play with her. They nicknamed her "The Bad Seed" because she was so nasty.

a. What renowned macho man had to seek help for a urinary tract infection because he'd injected steroids into his penis (he's hung like a diseased donkey)?

b. What stud playing that scandal guy is a fisting bottom who used to hang around with that top, as it were, designer?

c. What two why-don't-they-go-away movie stars regularly fly in underage Asian girls for sex parties?

d. What critic took a not very professional eight-minute bathroom break in the middle of Deconstructing Harry?

e. What androgynous young actor slept with a guy who says no way, honey, was it the actor's first gay experience?

f . What scion was vehemently popping blue Valiums that clashed with her outfit at that Met Museum gala?

g. What faded pop singer goes through about 10 straight porno flicks a week (no, he's not in them, thank God, he just rents them)?

h. What '60s sitcom star would stand on the Sunset Boulevard hustler corner with a parrot on his shoulder in order to attract attention (believe me, he didn't need the parrot)?

i. What very famous son of a sort of famous dad slept with his costar, the sort of famous daughter of a very famous dad? Timothy Hutton/Angelina Jolie

j. What young idol explains his constant revelry by saying, "If someone wanted to suck your dick every time you went out, wouldn't you go out every night?"

k. What same guy sputters homophobic remarks, though that doesn't discount the possibility that he's a big queen?

l. What once famous director supposedly went for a sex change, but stopped halfway through and is now freaking out in gender limbo?

m. Who canceled out as the host of a gig because the people in charge said she was once a stripper - and, by the way, she was?

n. What TV/ movie guy's wife supposedly doesn't mind sharing their house with the TV/movie guy's male lover?

o. What esoteric series star, rumored to be a girlfriend of that high-level Casanova, was actually a girlfriend of his wife's?

p. What Robert-Downey-Jr.-in-training was so out of control on a cable-channel shoot that the producers were ready to slice off his donkey-sized whatever?

q. What anchor perhaps looks uncomfy whenever he reports about alleged presidential infidelities because he's diddled around so much on his own wife?

What lead singer-turned- solo- artist is heading back to rehab in hopes of sobering up in time to tour?...

29. NY POST/PAGE SIX...03/11
a. Just asking WHICH married Chicago Bulls star allowed a young woman on whom he had never set eyes before to give him a tonsil-tickling at Grand Havana Room on Saturday, the night before he helped beat the Knicks? When the buxom beauty disengaged and walked away, the forward hubby hollered, "Hey, come back here!" ...

b. WHICH pretty sitcom star had a series of lesbian affairs before she hooked up with a much older leading man who had a facelift to prolong his movie career? ...

c. WHICH star who played a gay man in a funny movie last year is so homophobic he refused to interview male dressers for a theatrical production he's in? He winces when a man touches him.

30. STAR MAGAZINE...03/24
This hunk is close to the top of the list of Hollywood's sexiest men. He can pick and choose who shares his bed from a long list of Hollywood starlets and models. Then why does he favor prostitutes? Because they score illegal drugs for him! The hookers arrive with a ready supply of cocaine and they're rewarded twice - with a cash bonus and the best sex they every had. He's a non-stop love machine when drugs are fueling his rocket.

31. GLOBE...03/24
a. Pals are worried about this TV funnygal because she's gone to pot - the illegal kind! The beauty's been smoking marijuana for years, say Hollywood insiders, but now she's puffing non-stop out of nervousness - fearing her career is headed for a nosedive.

b. WHICH tough guy movie star with a nasty child custody problem had a grandfather in the Luftwaffe? Keeps it a secret because he doesn't want to be discriminated against ...

c. WHICH fashion designer fell off the wagon, fell for a young actor, and landed the hustler a starring role in a cheesy grade-B movie coming out soon? ... WHICH Broadway diva quipped: "I haven't always been addicted to younger men, but I haven't always been this old" ...

d. WHICH athletic sitcom star has a thing for she-males? Supposedly was arrested near the Holland Tunnel with a tranny in his passenger seat.

Which 'Cheer-full' star got hot and heavy on the set of his new movie with his co-star even though they're both married?

33. NY POST/PAGE SIX...03/18
Just asking WHICH elderly, married businessman with delusions of grandeur is carrying on with the golddigging ex-girlfriend of a now-married billionaire? The couple was spotted brunching at Mortimer's the other day, prompting one gleeful spy to note, "He's notoriously cheap, and she's a professional fleecer. It's going to be an interesting match."

34. STAR MAGAZINE...03/31
This movie star husband and his stunning wife seemed like the perfect Hollywood couple. They were both party animals and battled drug problems but their love kept them together. They managed to survive career ups and downs, financial instability and volatile fights. Insiders say what kept them together was their sizzling sessions between the sheets. His indulgences finally took their toll, and he's become impotent. As soon as his equipment broke down, she moved out and hasn't looked back.

35. NY POST/PAGE SIX. ..03/25
WHICH charismatic network television honcho turned more than a few heads when he began a very passionate game of tonsil hockey with a young, blond bombshell - who is not his wife - in a booth at a Manhattan Oscar party? Amused spies described the exec's extracurricular lovely as "squarely in the middle of his network's preferred demographics."

WHAT NICE NEW TEETH YOU HAVE: What newly minted star has spent tens of thousands of dollars to overhaul his choppers? But don't accuse the red-hot Hollywood gentleman of pulling a Dorian Grey: His handlers told him to have his pearly whites redone, says an insider. Hey, the better to grace magazine covers, Grandma....

37. NY POST/PAGE SIX....03/29
WHICH auction honcho, art critic Charlie Finch asks, converted to Judaism when he married his lovely bride, going so far as to undergo circumcision? Now that the marriage is on the rocks, he's thinking of suing for genital mutilation as part of the divorce proceedings ...

38. NY POST/PAGE SIX....03/29
WHICH promising young actor has been completely written off by Hollywood? His heroin abuse has increased to the point where he's totally unemployable ...

39. NY POST/PAGE SIX...03/29
WHICH former teenybopper star has fallen so far into the gutter he's had to pawn his gold records? His drug addiction and open sores are scandalizing Tinseltown ...

40. NY POST/PAGE SIX...03/29
WHICH NBA star wanted $50,000 to spend an hour at a bar mitzvah, but wouldn't pose for pictures or sign autographs for that amount? The deal fell through.

41. STAR MAGAZINE...04/14
This megastar has a multimillion dollar home in Beverly Hills but he chooses to sunbathe shirtless in a public L.A. park, which happens to be frequented by gays cruising for anonymous sex. Our celebrity was seen ducking into the men's room with three different total strangers he picked up during the course of one sunny afternoon. What he doesn't know is that he was photographed with his boy toys. The photos are circulating around Hollywood but so far no one's had the nerve to print them!

42. TED CASABLANCA...04/09
"She was really out of control." --Friend of Arnold Rifkin--whose pre-Oscar bash was sensationalized when New Line exec Mike DeLuca was caught getting his fire lit down below--commenting on another wild partier, a famous 'n' frazzled Hollywood blonde

The trashy Tinseltown talk this week is that Mr. Mike's behavior was greatly upstaged by that gal, who has a habit of upstaging even her own most peculiar ways.

How out of control, you might ask? Fawning, flirting, vacant, rambling, slurring, slurping, strutting, stressing. Enough.

Can you guess? A free paint-by-numbers kit to the first one who gets it right!

43. TED CASABLANCA.... Calista Flockhart *blind item* 04/09
Funny thing happened after I ran last week's column on Ally McBeal's Calista Flockhart intentionally hiking up her already notoriously short skirts. Before each take, that is.

Two very distinct responses:

One, further gossip. That Calista's undressing was indeed attracting the (off-camera) attention of a very influential someone with the show.

Two, denial. "It's absolutely not true!" said Flockhart's press rep. "This has been going around for a while, and it's ridiculous!"

Well, then, I asked, who is she seeing?

"She wishes she were having an affair with somebody," said the flack. "She wishes she had a sex life--but, no, she's not seeing anybody. She's in Italy right now."

Sounds like a pretty good place to get a hickey to me.

Calista Flockhart, the somewhat neurotic star of the show about neuroses in the living-single/legal world of the '90s, has been masterminding a slow striptease--and who knows what else?--for all to see.

Both on and off the air.

In case you've been hiding under a big ol' gavel, Flockhart's practically nonexistent skirts have become the subject of considerable debate among TV critics and water-cooler visitors alike (and even made it into the plot of one episode).

Well, guess who's been hiking up those hemlines?

You got it--Calista herself. Bit by bit. Inch by inch. Little by little, the Golden Globe recipient has been flaunting her golden gams.

"What she does," says a fellow castmember, "is fold her skirt from the inside. She folds it over from the top--right before a scene. A little more each time.

"It was never that way in the beginning," added the seam-spiller, "but Calista wants to show off her legs."

According to the loose-lipped thespian, this is a subject of (mostly) amusement among the cast. But I feel it my catty duty to inform you that not all Ally McBeal-ers are laughing.

That's because it's not just Flockhart's leggies that've been gaining the attention of a very influential member on the McBeal set. It's the entire package--mousy hairdo 'n' all.

"Everyone's been talking about it," said an exec with the show. "It's a well-known secret that he's got a thing for her. It's only a matter of time before it comes out."

Who he?

Well, for the moment, my tips are sealed. But take my word for it: Don't expect the jury to stay out much longer on this case. I'm just giving you a leg up in the meantime.

44. STAR MAGAZINE...04/21
This gorgeous actress can pull herself together on screen but between movies she's a mess. Her love life is a shambles because she hooks up with nothing but lowlifes. The only men who seem to interest her are the ones who can help her score drugs. She needs a lot of cocaine to fuel her longtime habit and men fall easily under her spell until they realize how crazy she's becoming. During Oscar weekend she attended an A-list party dolled up to the nines and shocked the most jaded Hollywood types with her drugged-up shennanigans. As a finale, she relieved herself on the lawn, while other guests looked on in horror.

45. STAR MAGAZINE..04/07
Everyone assumes that this actress is sitting pretty. She's one of the most famous Hollywood faces and set new salary records in her prime. She still wears designer clothes and lives in the right neighborhood, but something's wrong. She's been secretly sending an associate to sell her beloved jewels to an exclusive Beverly Hills shop. She retains her settings but has her diamonds and precious stones removed and replaces with real-looking fakes. She needs money, but she's not about to give up her lavish lifestyle.

46. NY Times...04/13
a. Just asking WHICH over-the-hill actress repulsed those around her when she showed up for a workout at her Beverly Hills gym reeking of alcohol? Her inebriated attempts at exercise only reinforced the rumors that she's gone off the deep end ... WHICH proprietor of a swanky midtown beauty parlor - a man - is about to get hit with sexual harassment complaints by two employees, also men? ... WHICH married movie critic broke up with his bisexual (female) lover after she cavalierly answered the telephone while he was in the throes of servicing her? Apparently he didn't appreciate her ignoring his efforts.

b. WHICH proprietor of a swanky midtown beauty parlor - a man - is about to get hit with sexual harassment complaints by two employees, also men?

c. WHICH married movie critic broke up with his bisexual (female) lover after she cavalierly answered the telephone while he was in the throes of servicing her? Apparently he didn't appreciate her ignoring his efforts.

47. TED CASABLANCA...04/22
There are two friendly tube stars who hit Kauai recently with a vengeance. And I'm not gonna tell you who they are. Actually, my lawyer says I'm not.

But this I will say: These two gals just about ransacked the island looking for reefer, which is a difficult thing to find, thanks to recent drug laws.

As usual, these Hollywood types think they're above the law. (Hey, at least they could have been more discreet.) Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston

48. NY POST/PAGE SIX ....04/26...#1
WHICH boyishly handsome sitcom star is suffering from Parkinson's Disease? The shaking has gotten noticeable enough that the director is avoiding shooting his hands ... Michael J. Fox

49. NY POST/PAGE SIX.. 04/26...#2
WHICH famed fashion photog almost jumped ship from Hearst to Conde Nast last week but then changed his mind at the eleventh hour? ...

50. NY POST/PAGE SIX ....04/26...#3
WHICH female publishing exec is so estranged from her mother, she has forbidden any of her employees from talking to the woman?

51. STAR MAGAZINE.... 04/28
This macho action star has a hot series and a death wish. When he's on hiatus from his show that films out of town, he prowls the seedy gay bathhouses of Hollywood and downtown L.A. looking for sex partners by the dozen and he doesn't practice safe sex. He also uses the phone sex lines to find even more partners and are they shocked to find this sexy TV star waiting for them at their airport hotel rendezvous! This promiscuous actor can't get enough and he's started setting up orgies at cheap motels for groups of eight or ten. His handlers would faint if they knew what their deeply closeted star is up to.

52. GLOBE....04/28
This TV co-host has been nicknamed "Yoo-Hoo" by her show's long-suffering camera crew. That's because the morning show scatterbrain is constantly looking into the wrong camera, forcing them to hell: "Yoo-Hoo...over heeeeere!"


LAST UPDATED: February 4, 2008