November and December 2005

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1. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/02
WHICH Hollywood starlet is on the verge of being ditched by her lover over rumours of her infidelity? The blonde is caught in a web of cheating and her other half has told pals he wants out.
 Kirsten Dunst/Jake Gyllenhaal

Which young TV actress arrived so out of it for her shopping magazine cover shoot that she lost the spot to a rival from another show?

--WHICH splintered celebrity duo's friendship ended when one of them told the other's parents that her friend had a serious drug problem and needed help? When the concerned parents asked their daughter if it was true, she lied and claimed that her well-meaning best buddy was the one who was abusing drugs. The folks then ordered their darling daughter never to hang out with the friend again. The friend, infuriated by the betrayal, continues to seethe about it to this day.
 Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie

--WHICH heavyweight fashion designer threw a party that got so crazy, one guest had to be taken away in an ambulance? All the guests were fabulous, but none were female.

Which drunk and mouthy­junior action star­scuffled with police on the W. 27th St. club corridor last weekend and is very lucky he wasn't arrested?

5. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/04
WHICH star's pint-sized missus shocked onlookers by emerging from the ladies' loos with traces of Colombian marching powder on her upper lip? The girl's possessive man would have left her at home if he'd known about her fishy habit.
Jada Pinkett Smith

Which young male star whose sexuality Gatecrasher likes to impugn slept with an actual, real live woman last week? We'll have to update the rumors to "bisexual."
Seann William Scott

7. Filth2go 11/07
Could it be that a certain big-screen heartthrob has been throbbing all by his lonesome? So say sources close to the wild man, who tell me that he's never been lucky in love - with either sex. That's lots of lonely knights. How does he spell relief? D-I-L-D-O. That's how. Hopefully, he won't get a splinter.
Seann William Scott

8. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/07
WHICH bad boy singer spent his time at the after-show parties insisting his flunkies trawl the clubs for pretty young fans to entertain him? It normally works a treat but in this instance the babes flocked in the opposite direction.
Robbie Williams

9. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/08
WHICH movie beauty has been alienating colleagues with her "cold and aloof" behaviour? The blonde refuses to speak to junior crew members on the set of her new film and is said to talk to her aides in a beastly manner.
Naomi Watts

Gloria Good-Hag has a great career. She's also quite adept at bedding her leading men, most notably Bill Bisexual (Gloria's most recent 300-count-style notch). But is it the dudes who interest the lithe sexpot the most? No way. And no--this ain't yet another homo-laden nooky story--it's not the girls, either, who do it for Glor. It's the horsies. Not the gambling kind, darlin's, the shoot-'em-up kind, as in smack. Horse. Heroin. And just in case you didn't know, heroin happens to be so in right now. Forget painkillers (too Michael J.) or porno (too Tom S.). It's all about the high one gets from snorting or shooting this incredibly potent--and addictive--opiate. Heaven help the guys 'n' gals who are currently obsessed with the stuff, most recently Jordache Junky, the star who screwed the cater-waiter in One Step-by-Skanky-Step Blind Vice a coupla weeks ago. Gloria's more crisp, more aloof than emotional Jordache. She's also more stupid, have to say. The ditzo broad didn't even know how to fool the standard insurance drug testing on her last glossy pic, Isn't Life Seamless?, and she turned up positive for heroin. Consequently, Isn't's producers had to pay double the premium on Gloria's skinny little bum. And let's say these suits were about as pleased with this development as Isn't's makeup artists were each morning with Gloria's puss. Enough concealer to make Joan Rivers youthful again was required for the bags under Gloria's strung-out eyes. Particularly since Isn't's makeup look was something akin to a White Linen photo shoot. Nasty! It's not: Claire Danes, Charlize Theron, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Kirsten Dunst

11. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/10
WHICH pop star's former boyfriend has been less than complimentary about his famous ex? Despite getting her pregnant the unlikely lothario tells pals that his former lover is desperate and clingy and no good in bed.
Geri Halliwell

12. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/11
WHAT green-eyed actor has got himself into trouble again over his Guinness addiction?
Colin Farrell

13. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/12
WHICH skinny celeb had better get to a pie shop - and watch out for her "friends". They're making catty remarks after she fainted from hunger in a tanning booth and had to be dragged out by an assistant.
Nicole Richie

14. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/14
WHICH aging pop diva insists that nothing but her music is played in every car that she's driven around in? Madonna; Diana Ross; Barbara Streisand

Looks like that up-and-coming movie star hunk went and got himself banished from several of the classiest spas on both coasts. High-end establishments are accustomed to dealing with all sorts of ridiculous and outrageous behavior, but this guy pushed the limits even for a celebrity. It was bad enough that the hygiene-challenged dude kept turning up smelling so bad that no one wanted to go anywhere near him, let alone apply scented body oils to his gym-phobic body. But it was crazier still how he shocked the professional male and female staff members by expecting, even demanding, his very own happy ending with every session as if they were workers at a cheesy massage parlor.
Colin Farrell

Somebody should bronze for posterity the hot tub at the posh beach pad of that sedately sexy TV star who occasionally turns up in a showy international movie. It's in those turbulent waters where she and her occasionally employed beach bum stud conceived their kid before splitting soon after. It's also in that tub of temptation that the randy vixen frolicked with a long list of blue collar-type workmen and gardeners who apparently did plenty more than keeping her bougainvillea trim and the copper plumbing in working order. More recently, that busy little tub has been bubbling night and day now that the self-enchanted, pseudo-intellectual doll has taken as her playmate a pretty young brunette who should make quite a splash as one of the heroines of that incredibly lame new fantasy TV series.
Gillian Anderson/Lake Bell

17. CMA AWARDS 11/16
Well with the CMAs over, it's time to spread the muddy gossip that was being thrown around backstage all night. Turns out that one of country music's hottest stars (and we mean physically hot though he's doing okay on the charts) is freaking out about a "little mistake" in his past. When this country babe finished college he couldn't waste any time finding a job or wait to record his first album, he needed money fast! So this red blooded American boy did what any good looking southern guy would do, he took a role in a heart touching gay prono flick. The movie was released, but luckily before it could circulate widely, the babe's music label paid the production company enough money to shut up them up and stop distributing the movie. You see, it was all nice and hush-hush until the babe's country legend, not to mention gay iconic, friend was sent a tape from her best gay buddy with a note attached asking: "is this who I think it is?" The big mouthed country diva promised to keep his little secret until she told a friend, who told a friend...need we go on. The poor babe spent most of the night out in the parking lot worried about what the wife would think. And no it's not Kenny Chesney.
Billy Currington

Toothy Tile and Petunia Pickle-Pop really should start dating. I mean, it would be a fake get-together, but how many real ones are left in this town? Like Jude Law and Sienna Miller are going to last. Like they got back together because they just feel so right for each other, in the end--current flicks to sell be damned! So, Toothy and Petunia are pushing the upchuck-and-saliva-covered envelope like you would not believe. Or maybe you would? Ladies first. Movie-stah Toothy--who's been playing with whether or not to come out the closet for so long now, readers think I'm just makin' this sitch up (I'm not)--recently did a chat show for his latest pic, Casablanca Cuckold. You'll never guess what a network worker bee caught him doing in the privacy of his dressing room before taping. No, not fornicating (you dirty busybodies), just tonguing his b-f, that's all. And this little love licking spread through the studio faster than a pink-slip distribution list at ABC! Causing far fewer but much more horrified mouths to gasp at an L.A. recording studio was Petunia's smelly wake. After barging into the classy operation with her screeching wheels, P2 headed straight for the bathroom, which had been oh so thoughtfully set up with scented candles and tasteful towels and such. After 15 minutes of locking herself in the loo, Petunia emerged, leaving the bathroom looking like something out of Martha Stewart's nightmares. And guess what was left smack in the middle of the restroom--with one tiny towel placed in the middle? It was a reeking, warm pile of human discard. Puke. All over the floor. Jeez, whose wake is stinkier these days, drugged-out Pet's or duded-out Tooth's? AND IT AIN'T Chad Michael Murray/Hilary Duff; Wentworth Miller/Ashlee Simpson; Will Smith/Kimberly Stewart
Lindsay Lohan/Jake Gyllenhaal; Paris Hilton/Jake Gyllenhaal

19. POPBITCH 11/17
This celebrity couple are definitely having problems at home. Maybe they'll even split up? Domestic disputes have got so heated that the police have been called out. Child Protecttion Services are now also involved as their child has been witness to the altercations.
Liam Gallagher and Nicole Appleton

20. Filth2go 11/21
Could it be that a certain unstable actress of the 70s (with a notable resurgence in the 80s and 90s) is contemplating her umpteenth comeback? That's the buzz from sources close to the displaced gal, who vacillates between "They want me" and "They want me not" when it comes to prospective acting roles. After avenging a deadly love on a bridge over a river in the rain, she probably wonders what's left to tackle. It certainly won't be a reality show - even though she was kinda part of a recent one. Instead, she's interested in another one-hour drama. They keep her stable. Half-hour sitcoms depress her - and probably make her tune into the radio. Faye Dunaway

21. NY POST/PAGE SIX...11/22
--WHICH hip-hop mogul has a group of women he calls "The Chickenheads" who are employed solely to provide oral sex whenever he wants? No wonder his "girlfriend" left town.
Sean "Diddy" Combs

--WHICH squeaky-clean young singer/actress was overheard snorting cocaine in the ladies' room at a recent concert at Bowery Ballroom? Hilary Duff

--WHICH cosmetics billionaire split with his long-suffering wife after a string of mistresses? He bought a pricey townhouse for one, but now he has another. Ron Lauder

22. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/23
WHICH bed-hopping blonde bonded with a hunky lothario co-star on the set of her latest film by sneaking off to smoke sneaky joints together in-between takes?
Sienna Miller; Nicole Kidman; Lindsay Lohan

One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice: Everybody adores Madeline Max-It, 'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does, must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate soufflé. IT'S NOT: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney Cox/David Arquette
Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth

24. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/28
WHICH rough-around-the-edges American actor currently working in the UK is really a bit wet? His cast mates organised a big bash to welcome him to our shores but he refused to go as he won't go anywhere that isn't strictly non-smoking.
Donald Sutherland

25. NY POST/PAGE SIX 11/28
WHICH hard-partying hottie has herpes? The unlucky gal is notorious for calling her pharmacist and screaming that her Valtrex prescription be filled "Now! It's an emergency!" The pharmacist is sick of how she treats him and is telling other customers about her blistery problem. Tara Reid; Lindsay Lohan who got it from Colin Farrell

Famous actor, genteelly hitting on his male masseur at a West Coast resort hotel, wanted a treatment up in his room. The star's bodyguard promised, "you'll be well taken care of." The masseur is straight. Just as genteel as the star, he genteelly declined.
John Travolta

27. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/01
WHICH swordsman actor is totally paranoid about losing his dark locks? Antonio Banderas

28. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/02
WHICH former superstar faces being banned from her regular rehab clinic after abusing one member of staff too many? The singer won't listen to experts' advice on her drug addictions and lashes out when told she needs more help. Whitney Houston

One High-Fuming Blind Vice: Whip M. Off has always been a rebel. He's one of those grown-ups who refuses to act his damn age in spite of bein' a dad and having a runaway hairline. See, when Whip carouses, he really goes for it. He's not a tame horny duck like, say, Bruce Willis--hell, no. (Strippers and any female who just happens to be displaying a sizeable décolleté are never happy to see Whip's increasingly heavy gait head over their way.) Of course, W.P. might be acting like such an annoying doof lately 'cause he doesn't have Bruno's deep pockets. I mean he did, once upon a time, before a nasty divorce. Yep, poor Whip M. learned the hard way that prenups are a cynical but necessary part of marriage. (Britney Spears, you are a smart cookie in that department!) Mr. Off and his non-earning, hell-raising wife-unit didn't sign one, see. Consequently, Whip is, gulp, outta cash. Like, completely. And he's depressed, as in bring on the pick-me-up drugs, as in can barely fake a sexy smile. Jeez, who wouldn't be? Now, I'm gonna give you a reason to grin next time yer tending a bruised ego in the rear of an airplane. Mr. O. is so damn broke, he is flying coach--even when he has the fam in tow. Yes, this guy's IMDb page goes on for a million freakin' pages, yet he can't even get legroom in the sky anymore. And he's damn bitter about it, trust me. It's no wonder Whip's been acting strange lately, not his usual witty self on the red carpet and such. And heaven knows, we can't afford to lose any charmers in that department! (Oh, and by the masochistic way, Whip is obsessed with the stupid-ola fact of having not gotten a prenup, particularly when he's salivating--I kid you not--for his long-gone first-class days.) IT'S NOT: Eddie Murphy, Lorenzo Lamas, Alec Baldwin
Christian Slater

30. POPBITCH 12/08
Which balding rock singer left a drawer full of gay porn in a hotel room recently, only to be discovered by the Cure's roadies?
David Lee Roth; Justin Hawkins of the Darkness

31. Lainey's Entertainment Update 12/08
Some couples are pretty conventional. Others? Not so much. It helps when both are open minded and accepting of suggestions, don't you think? So when she was with her equally famous ex, he complained one night of her deficiency in the blowing department and to help her with it, he signed her up for private lessons with an F master. And the results were, um, mindblowing. But now that they're no longer together, she's taking her skills elsewhere and the recipient of her oral gifts cannot believe his luck. So much so that when her new lover and her old one ran into each other at an event recently, Mr. Current actually THANKED Mr. Ex for the hook up. Yet another reason why the stupid idiot should be kicking himself for being so shortsighted? And it's not Jennifer Lopez, Rebecca Romijn, Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, or Jennifer Aniston.

32. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/09
WHICH Hollywood diva has been driving everyone mad on the set of her latest film? Crew members are banned from speaking to her, and she gets to decide which scenes are re-touched to make her look younger. Sharon Stone

33. Lainey's Entertainment Update 12/11
Not only is she is a master at it, she's also a fiend. A few months ago, at a business lunch with a couple of her boyfriend's business associates, she apparently couldn't help herself, leaned over and whispered the following in her lover's ear (and this is NOT FOR THE PRUDISH): Baby, I am gonna suck it so hard when we get in the car. Needless to say, their lunch dates were shocked...and just a little jealous. And it's not Mischa Barton, Sharon Stone, or Elizabeth Hurley.
Uma Thurman

34. Lainey's Entertainment Update 12/11 #2
There's growing concern (part 1): Sure, she's terrible at what she does but there's also another reason why she's been so invisible. I hear we are days away from an intervention. What was once a glorious physique has become a bag of bones and sunken cheeks. Why??? Same sad reason, I'm afraid. The poor girl doesn't eat and while we're not at 911 status just yet her friends and family are growing increasingly concerned. Especially her man, who is not only worried, he's also horny. Seems her sex drive disappeared along with her appetite. It's not Hilary Duff, Kate Hudson, or Mischa Barton. Anna Kournikova

35. Filth2go 12/12
Could it be that a certain newlywed is having trouble sticking to his vows? So say those "ladies of the evening" who work the streets of Hollywood. And we’re talking about ladies with penises, doncha know. They all have the same story. Boy meets girls. Boy makes sure girl is really a boy. Boy assumes the postion while girl pokes him up the pooper. Allegedly, there is evidence to prove this - but we don’t get bogged down by details like that.
Kevin Federline

What erudite talk-show host is said to have moved in on the girlfriend of his billionaire pal?
Donny Deutsch/Mayor Bloomberg

37. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/12
WHICH New York rock darlings are becoming notorious for their drug consumption? The band regularly utilizes the house drug dealer at a downtown hipster den, where one of the members often indulges his habit of seducing underage babes.
The Strokes

One Overly Cozy Blind Vice: Stealth Stud-Poof has it all. He's got a decent bod; a procreating, talented gal; and a well-respected and sizzling career. Not to mention a great ass and a boyfriend who knows what to do with it. The butt, that is, not the job stuff. See, Toothy Tile is not (by far) the only homo in Hollywood who likes to push the fruitcake-covered envelope. Uh-uh, no way. Whereas our loveable, somewhat confused Tooth is constantly trying to figure out just what the hell he wants to do with his life--sexuality being not the least of his concerns--Stealth has known from his relatively flashy get-go what he wanted in life: a glitzy career, a wife and family and--most definitely--a b-f on the side. And he got it all--plus more money and job accolades than he ever expected. But here's what S.S.-P. wasn't counting on: a lover so bossy Leona Helmsley looks like Snow White by comparison. At first it was fine and cute. The side-screw was sufficiently content to be relegated to where mistresses usually are: wink-wink, off in a discreet corner, where only certain in-the-know members of Stealth's inner sanctum were aware. Everybody got along. This was before said boy-mistress decided his very convincing reincarnation of Eva Perón was in order. And so, the dictator-channeling upstart began (with Stealth's quasi-reluctant approval) ridding Mr. Stud-Poof's life of all that didn't please the new Eva. Which meant off with anybody's head who didn't approve of Queen Boyfriend becoming a royal attachment to Stealth's increasingly more visible side, wife included. And now? The unlikely ménage à tricky trois is living together. Or not. Stealth's got a few pads round the globe. And his Hollywood place? Well, gosh, doesn't seem to be too much room for the missus here, now does there? So, Stealth's rather horrified friends are now waiting for the wife-unit to blow the cover on the whole mess. Don't count on it. I find in these prickly, often legally complex scenarios, the tryst-seeking tabloids usually beat the crossed housewife to the proverbial punch. IT'S NOT: Will Smith; Ben Affleck; Matt Damon
Hugh Jackman

39. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/14
WHICH smooth singer isn't the lothario he'd like us all to think? He's often spotted out with a former boy-bander, and no matter what the slick twosome tell the ladies, they're really more interested in each other.

40. Lainey's Entertainment Update 12/14
Small secrets (Part 1): He might be on the cusp of superstardom but unfortunately, his private parts don't seem to match the hype. According to a former pre-fame lover, our man is teeny weeny. Not that that's terribly important...right????

Small Secrets (Part 2): Physical shortcomings? Who cares? The man has no shortage of poon waiting for him in every small town or big city. Doesn't look like he restricts his yearnings to females either. For some reason, on a recent visit back to the motherland, he was seen trying to kiss more men than women. Wonder what that means? new lead singer of INXS

41. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/15
WHICH singer was forced to ditch her boyfriend by flunkies who thought he stood in the way of lucrative deals? Joss Stone

42. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/16
WHICH trendy rocker got so sozzled at a recent showbiz bash he ended up, er, relieving himself in the corridor?
The fella in question caused a worker to scream when he appeared out of nowhere.

43. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/17
WHAT blonde, young Hollywood starlet had fellow guests at a recent showbiz do rolling their eyes at her oh-so-predictable behaviour? Everyone noticed her super-frequent loo trips and the fine dusting of Colombian marching powder under her nose. Kirsten Dunst; Tara Reid

Which young actor freaked in recent months when a director scheduled him to shoot a death scene on the anniversary of his brother's death? Joaquin Phoenix

45. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/18
--WHICH A-list actress throws a punch like a prizefighter? When the sexy thesp caught her wealthy boyfriend bugging out on cocaine and booze in a room at L.A.'s Chateau Marmont, the couple got into a vicious argument that led to the actress slugging her boyfriend in the face, causing him to fall and chip his tooth on a table. But they soon reconciled and spent the day driving around L.A. looking for a good cosmetic dentist.

--WHICH Hollywood actor and his wife stiffed the staff at a historic downtown hotel with no tips whatsoever after living there more than a month? He was in town working on a play and she reportedly drove the staff nuts with her diva demands before they packed up and left without tipping.

46. Filth2go 12/19
Could it be that a certain diet guru (not the one you're thinking of) is not even interested in following his own regime? So say sources close to the meat lover who tell me that the hungry man routinely requests products from the "Atkins" line of diet foods - in between telling nasty little racist jokes. All the easier to slip into his Calvins.
Karl Lagerfeld; Michael Thurman from "Extreme Makeover

47. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/19
WHICH hot singer is behaving stone cold towards her mega-rich ex-boyfriend? The babe in question is sending out mixed messages - bombarding her ex with romantic texts but also instructing her aides to set up dates. Joss Stone

Which national TV reporter is turning mistress No. 3 into wife No. 2? The two other mistresses from his first marriage are both miffed about the wedding, tattling that the bride-to-be (who has her own TV aspirations) not only got a ring out of him, but a nose job.

49. POPBITCH 12/21
--Which Hollywood superstar's new relationship seems entirely to be conducted in the full glare of the media? Maybe it's because her funnyman beau prefers men?
Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn

--Who is Kate Moss going to hook up with next? Well, just before she fell for Doherty she had sex with a cartoonish indie singer in the toilet of a house paty. Damon Albarn of Gorillaz

--Which former teen-band idol copped off at a gay sauna last week with a rather cute rent boy? Lance Bass

One Pained 'n' Stained Blind Vice: Now, this is a really skanky one to go out on. The year's up, and so is this chick's pretty-puss time. See, Schlocky Ticky-Tocky, always known more for her talent than her beauty, is getting on--as we all appear to be, perhaps with the sole exception of Paris Hilton (arguable point, I know). So, Schlocky--a kudo queen for one of her more, uh, less scene-chewing flicks--went to see a fancy plastic surgeon. Not one of the best, perhaps, but not one of the worst cracks in town either. S.T.-T. got herself a face-lift, went for the whole works, the full bandaged shebang. Now, here's where it gets dicey--not to mention really ugly. Schlocky's a very, very heavy smoker. Idiot. As if lung cancer and assorted other potential ailments waiting to afflict the once A-list actress weren't enough to scare this broad off the fags, you'd think the following would. Ticky-Tocky's doc told the pre-op broad that she had to not only stop smoking before the surgery, but during the healing process, as well. Had. To. And do you think she did? All the addicts in the world are all shouting hell, no! in unison, right about now, and I'm one of 'em, damn straight. As a most unfortunate side effect of not following her physician's warning, Ms. T.-T.--who indeed continued to smoke like a chimney through all phases of her elective, invasive treatment--now has permanently marked nicotine lines of medium to dark brown wherever there were incisions. On her jaw and face, her neck, her brow--in addition to additional splotches on her cheeks. Accordingly, Schlocky never, ever goes out without full makeup and scarves. Jesus, may I never pick up another cigarette again--'cause I sure don't want my face-lift resulting in that! And it ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand

51. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/22
WHICH actor's sunshine holiday has turned into a damp squib because of his constant whingeing? His holiday companion has been overheard saying that his behaviour is "worse than the kids" as he says he hates the food and weather and is snapping at staff.
 Jude Law

Which gold-digging actress is trying to break up a soon-to-be-divorced Hollywood A-lister and his TV host girlfriend? Friends say she has already decided to hyphenate his last name onto hers when she bags the famous funny man for her own.
Hollywood A-Lister: Eddie Murphy
gold-digging actress: Robin Givens
TV host girlfriend: Shaun Robinson

Which bitter feud between an actor-musician and his recently fired manager took a turn for the worse when the latter had a gang member attack the star's assistant at a Miami club? A witness says the entertainer looked on in shock before beckoning for security.
P Diddy

54. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/24
WHICH bad-boy rocker decided to make a mate's party more interesting by lighting up a huge spliff in the middle of the dancefloor? His pals weren't kidding when they told him he was stupid, as the bash was being filmed for a documentary.

55. NY POST/PAGE SIX...12/26
--WHICH TV personality, who keeps failing upward despite his discernible lack of talent, is starting to look bizarre? He brags to his friends about his use of Botox, but now the collagen lip implants and the too-blonde hair are making him look not only scary, but weird. Ryan Seacrest

--WHICH Oscar-winning actor is a major horndog? While being interviewed recently by a cute blonde, he made suggestive motions with his hand and became visibly aroused. Jamie Foxx; Adrien Brody

56. Filth2go 12/26
--Could it be that a certain television twosome is kaput? So say sources on the set with the close-cropped cutie, who point out the extraordinary steps one will take to avoid being killed off - including booting a live-in love. Egads I'd probably feel buried alive under all of those hair care products.
George Eads  and Eric Szmanda of CSI

--Could it be that a certain ambitious (and ambiguous) boy is making an unholy alliance to further his thespianistic career? So say sources close to that sexual predator, who tell me that he's had a sexy siren in his sights - and perhaps in his bed. One thing leads to another so don't be surprised to see mentor and apt pupil joined at the hip and making beautiful music. Who's in front and who's in back has not been revealed.

Which Aussie actress had better keep her eyes on her beau? The actor has been offering his number to several young ladies below 14th St. over the past few months. Naomi Watts/Liev Schrieber

58. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/28
WHICH fashionista is wearing a full-time weave after her years of drug abuse have left her almost bald? The friend of the stars is now considering a hair transplant on top of the nearly £50,000 she's already spent on surgery. Donatella Versace

59. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/29
WHO's the Hollywood star who's so paranoid about his wife cheating on him he's hired a private investigator to keep an eye on her? The former hellraiser would appear to be judging others by his own standards - but friends predict a river of tears if his missus finds out.
Sean Penn

60. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/29
--WHICH long-married rock star defines cheating the same way Bill Clinton used to? The frisky frontman, who claims to be faithful, has only oral sex with his groupies.
Jon Bon Jovi

--WHICH business legend died with his sexual secrets intact? According to never-leaked divorce papers, the potentate's ex-wife claims he had a raging case of herpes.

--WHICH celebrity sisters drank so much at their holiday party that one of them ended up vomiting in the bathroom of their high-profile home? The Olsen Twins

--WHICH super-couple likes to renew their Mile-High Club membership almost every time they fly? The horny duo are infamous among private plane crews for their loud lovemaking at sky-high altitudes. Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn; Jude Law/Sienna Miller; Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake; Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey

Those former lesbian lovers who are so outspoken about their ardor are less forthcoming about their shared interest in heroin.
Angelina Jolie and Jenny Shimuzu

Last updated: February 18, 2006