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1. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/02
WHICH Hollywood starlet is on the verge of being ditched by her lover over
rumours of her infidelity? The blonde is caught in a web of cheating and
her other half has told pals he wants out. Kirsten Dunst/Jake
Gyllenhaal
2. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 11/03
Which young TV actress arrived so out of it for her shopping magazine cover
shoot that she lost the spot to a rival from another show?
3. NY POST/PAGE SIX 11/04
--WHICH splintered celebrity duo's friendship ended when one of them told
the other's parents that her friend had a serious drug problem and needed
help? When the concerned parents asked their daughter if it was true, she
lied and claimed that her well-meaning best buddy was the one who was abusing
drugs. The folks then ordered their darling daughter never to hang out with
the friend again. The friend, infuriated by the betrayal, continues to seethe
about it to this day. Paris Hilton & Nicole
Ritchie
--WHICH heavyweight fashion designer threw a party that got so crazy, one guest had to be taken away in an ambulance? All the guests were fabulous, but none were female.
4. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 11/04
Which drunk and mouthyjunior action starscuffled with police
on the W. 27th St. club corridor last weekend and is very lucky he wasn't
arrested?
5. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/04
WHICH star's pint-sized missus shocked onlookers by emerging from the ladies'
loos with traces of Colombian marching powder on her upper lip? The girl's
possessive man would have left her at home if he'd known about her fishy
habit. Jada Pinkett Smith
6. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 11/07....
Which young male star whose sexuality Gatecrasher likes to impugn slept with
an actual, real live woman last week? We'll have to update the rumors to
"bisexual." Seann William Scott
7. Filth2go 11/07
Could it be that a certain big-screen heartthrob has been throbbing all by
his lonesome? So say sources close to the wild man, who tell me that he's
never been lucky in love - with either sex. That's lots of lonely knights.
How does he spell relief? D-I-L-D-O. That's how. Hopefully, he won't get
a splinter. Seann William Scott
8. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/07
WHICH bad boy singer spent his time at the after-show parties insisting his
flunkies trawl the clubs for pretty young fans to entertain him? It normally
works a treat but in this instance the babes flocked in the opposite
direction. Robbie Williams
9. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/08
WHICH movie beauty has been alienating colleagues with her "cold and aloof"
behaviour? The blonde refuses to speak to junior crew members on the set
of her new film and is said to talk to her aides in a beastly manner.
Naomi Watts
10.
TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 11/10
Gloria Good-Hag has a great career. She's also quite adept at bedding her
leading men, most notably Bill Bisexual (Gloria's most recent 300-count-style
notch). But is it the dudes who interest the lithe sexpot the most? No way.
And no--this ain't yet another homo-laden nooky story--it's not the girls,
either, who do it for Glor. It's the horsies. Not the gambling kind, darlin's,
the shoot-'em-up kind, as in smack. Horse. Heroin. And just in case you didn't
know, heroin happens to be so in right now. Forget painkillers (too Michael
J.) or porno (too Tom S.). It's all about the high one gets from snorting
or shooting this incredibly potent--and addictive--opiate. Heaven help the
guys 'n' gals who are currently obsessed with the stuff, most recently Jordache
Junky, the star who screwed the cater-waiter in One Step-by-Skanky-Step Blind
Vice a coupla weeks ago. Gloria's more crisp, more aloof than emotional Jordache.
She's also more stupid, have to say. The ditzo broad didn't even know how
to fool the standard insurance drug testing on her last glossy pic, Isn't
Life Seamless?, and she turned up positive for heroin. Consequently, Isn't's
producers had to pay double the premium on Gloria's skinny little bum. And
let's say these suits were about as pleased with this development as Isn't's
makeup artists were each morning with Gloria's puss. Enough concealer to
make Joan Rivers youthful again was required for the bags under Gloria's
strung-out eyes. Particularly since Isn't's makeup look was something akin
to a White Linen photo shoot. Nasty! It's not: Claire Danes, Charlize Theron,
Maggie Gyllenhaal Kirsten Dunst
11. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/10
WHICH pop star's former boyfriend has been less than complimentary about
his famous ex? Despite getting her pregnant the unlikely lothario tells pals
that his former lover is desperate and clingy and no good in bed.
Geri Halliwell
12. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/11
WHAT green-eyed actor has got himself into trouble again over his Guinness
addiction? Colin Farrell
13. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/12
WHICH skinny celeb had better get to a pie shop - and watch out for her
"friends". They're making catty remarks after she fainted from hunger in
a tanning booth and had to be dragged out by an assistant. Nicole
Richie
14. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/14
WHICH aging pop diva insists that nothing but her music is played in every
car that she's driven around in? Madonna; Diana Ross; Barbara
Streisand
15. MOVIELINE NOV/DEC #1
Looks like that up-and-coming movie star hunk went and got himself banished
from several of the classiest spas on both coasts. High-end establishments
are accustomed to dealing with all sorts of ridiculous and outrageous behavior,
but this guy pushed the limits even for a celebrity. It was bad enough that
the hygiene-challenged dude kept turning up smelling so bad that no one wanted
to go anywhere near him, let alone apply scented body oils to his gym-phobic
body. But it was crazier still how he shocked the professional male and female
staff members by expecting, even demanding, his very own happy ending with
every session as if they were workers at a cheesy massage parlor.
Colin Farrell
16. MOVIELINE NOV/DEC #2
Somebody should bronze for posterity the hot tub at the posh beach pad of
that sedately sexy TV star who occasionally turns up in a showy international
movie. It's in those turbulent waters where she and her occasionally employed
beach bum stud conceived their kid before splitting soon after. It's also
in that tub of temptation that the randy vixen frolicked with a long list
of blue collar-type workmen and gardeners who apparently did plenty more
than keeping her bougainvillea trim and the copper plumbing in working order.
More recently, that busy little tub has been bubbling night and day now that
the self-enchanted, pseudo-intellectual doll has taken as her playmate a
pretty young brunette who should make quite a splash as one of the heroines
of that incredibly lame new fantasy TV series. Gillian Anderson/Lake
Bell
17. CMA AWARDS 11/16
Well with the CMAs over, it's time to spread the muddy gossip that was being
thrown around backstage all night. Turns out that one of country music's
hottest stars (and we mean physically hot though he's doing okay on the charts)
is freaking out about a "little mistake" in his past. When this country babe
finished college he couldn't waste any time finding a job or wait to record
his first album, he needed money fast! So this red blooded American boy did
what any good looking southern guy would do, he took a role in a heart touching
gay prono flick. The movie was released, but luckily before it could circulate
widely, the babe's music label paid the production company enough money to
shut up them up and stop distributing the movie. You see, it was all nice
and hush-hush until the babe's country legend, not to mention gay iconic,
friend was sent a tape from her best gay buddy with a note attached asking:
"is this who I think it is?" The big mouthed country diva promised to keep
his little secret until she told a friend, who told a friend...need we go
on. The poor babe spent most of the night out in the parking lot worried
about what the wife would think. And no it's not Kenny Chesney.
Billy Currington
18.
TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 11/16
Toothy Tile and Petunia Pickle-Pop really should start dating. I mean, it
would be a fake get-together, but how many real ones are left in this town?
Like Jude Law and Sienna Miller are going to last. Like they got back together
because they just feel so right for each other, in the end--current flicks
to sell be damned! So, Toothy and Petunia are pushing the
upchuck-and-saliva-covered envelope like you would not believe. Or maybe
you would? Ladies first. Movie-stah Toothy--who's been playing with whether
or not to come out the closet for so long now, readers think I'm just makin'
this sitch up (I'm not)--recently did a chat show for his latest pic, Casablanca
Cuckold. You'll never guess what a network worker bee caught him doing in
the privacy of his dressing room before taping. No, not fornicating (you
dirty busybodies), just tonguing his b-f, that's all. And this little love
licking spread through the studio faster than a pink-slip distribution list
at ABC! Causing far fewer but much more horrified mouths to gasp at an L.A.
recording studio was Petunia's smelly wake. After barging into the classy
operation with her screeching wheels, P2 headed straight for the bathroom,
which had been oh so thoughtfully set up with scented candles and tasteful
towels and such. After 15 minutes of locking herself in the loo, Petunia
emerged, leaving the bathroom looking like something out of Martha Stewart's
nightmares. And guess what was left smack in the middle of the restroom--with
one tiny towel placed in the middle? It was a reeking, warm pile of human
discard. Puke. All over the floor. Jeez, whose wake is stinkier these days,
drugged-out Pet's or duded-out Tooth's? AND IT AIN'T Chad Michael Murray/Hilary
Duff; Wentworth Miller/Ashlee Simpson; Will Smith/Kimberly Stewart
Lindsay Lohan/Jake Gyllenhaal; Paris Hilton/Jake Gyllenhaal
19. POPBITCH 11/17
This celebrity couple are definitely having problems at home. Maybe they'll
even split up? Domestic disputes have got so heated that the police have
been called out. Child Protecttion Services are now also involved as their
child has been witness to the altercations. Liam Gallagher and
Nicole Appleton
20. Filth2go 11/21
Could it be that a certain unstable actress of the 70s (with a notable
resurgence in the 80s and 90s) is contemplating her umpteenth comeback? That's
the buzz from sources close to the displaced gal, who vacillates between
"They want me" and "They want me not" when it comes to prospective acting
roles. After avenging a deadly love on a bridge over a river in the rain,
she probably wonders what's left to tackle. It certainly won't be a reality
show - even though she was kinda part of a recent one. Instead, she's interested
in another one-hour drama. They keep her stable. Half-hour sitcoms depress
her - and probably make her tune into the radio. Faye Dunaway
21. NY POST/PAGE SIX...11/22
--WHICH hip-hop mogul has a group of women he calls "The Chickenheads" who
are employed solely to provide oral sex whenever he wants? No wonder his
"girlfriend" left town. Sean "Diddy" Combs
--WHICH squeaky-clean young singer/actress was overheard snorting cocaine in the ladies' room at a recent concert at Bowery Ballroom? Hilary Duff
--WHICH cosmetics billionaire split with his long-suffering wife after a string of mistresses? He bought a pricey townhouse for one, but now he has another. Ron Lauder
22. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/23
WHICH bed-hopping blonde bonded with a hunky lothario co-star on the set
of her latest film by sneaking off to smoke sneaky joints together in-between
takes? Sienna Miller; Nicole Kidman; Lindsay Lohan
23. TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 11/23
One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice: Everybody adores Madeline Max-It,
'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy
gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family
unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood
were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little
too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's
spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better
than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does,
must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact
that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently
doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's
sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But
Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and
digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally
speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate soufflé. IT'S
NOT: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney
Cox/David Arquette Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris
Noth
24. 3 A.M. GIRLS 11/28
WHICH rough-around-the-edges American actor currently working in the UK is
really a bit wet? His cast mates organised a big bash to welcome him to our
shores but he refused to go as he won't go anywhere that isn't strictly
non-smoking. Donald Sutherland
25. NY POST/PAGE SIX 11/28
WHICH hard-partying hottie has herpes? The unlucky gal is notorious for calling
her pharmacist and screaming that her Valtrex prescription be filled "Now!
It's an emergency!" The pharmacist is sick of how she treats him and is telling
other customers about her blistery problem. Tara Reid; Lindsay Lohan who
got it from Colin Farrell
26. NY POST/CINDY ADAMS 12/01
Famous actor, genteelly hitting on his male masseur at a West Coast resort
hotel, wanted a treatment up in his room. The star's bodyguard promised,
"you'll be well taken care of." The masseur is straight. Just as genteel
as the star, he genteelly declined. John Travolta
27. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/01
WHICH swordsman actor is totally paranoid about losing his dark locks?
Antonio Banderas
28. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/02
WHICH former superstar faces being banned from her regular rehab clinic after
abusing one member of staff too many? The singer won't listen to experts'
advice on her drug addictions and lashes out when told she needs more help.
Whitney Houston
29.
TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 12/06
One High-Fuming Blind Vice: Whip M. Off has always been a rebel. He's one
of those grown-ups who refuses to act his damn age in spite of bein' a dad
and having a runaway hairline. See, when Whip carouses, he really goes for
it. He's not a tame horny duck like, say, Bruce Willis--hell, no. (Strippers
and any female who just happens to be displaying a sizeable décolleté
are never happy to see Whip's increasingly heavy gait head over their way.)
Of course, W.P. might be acting like such an annoying doof lately 'cause
he doesn't have Bruno's deep pockets. I mean he did, once upon a time, before
a nasty divorce. Yep, poor Whip M. learned the hard way that prenups are
a cynical but necessary part of marriage. (Britney Spears, you are a smart
cookie in that department!) Mr. Off and his non-earning, hell-raising wife-unit
didn't sign one, see. Consequently, Whip is, gulp, outta cash. Like, completely.
And he's depressed, as in bring on the pick-me-up drugs, as in can barely
fake a sexy smile. Jeez, who wouldn't be? Now, I'm gonna give you a reason
to grin next time yer tending a bruised ego in the rear of an airplane. Mr.
O. is so damn broke, he is flying coach--even when he has the fam in tow.
Yes, this guy's IMDb page goes on for a million freakin' pages, yet he can't
even get legroom in the sky anymore. And he's damn bitter about it, trust
me. It's no wonder Whip's been acting strange lately, not his usual witty
self on the red carpet and such. And heaven knows, we can't afford to lose
any charmers in that department! (Oh, and by the masochistic way, Whip is
obsessed with the stupid-ola fact of having not gotten a prenup, particularly
when he's salivating--I kid you not--for his long-gone first-class days.)
IT'S NOT: Eddie Murphy, Lorenzo Lamas, Alec Baldwin Christian
Slater
30. POPBITCH 12/08
Which balding rock singer left a drawer full of gay porn in a hotel room
recently, only to be discovered by the Cure's roadies? David Lee
Roth; Justin Hawkins of the Darkness
31. Lainey's
Entertainment Update 12/08
Some couples are pretty conventional. Others? Not so much. It helps when
both are open minded and accepting of suggestions, don't you think? So when
she was with her equally famous ex, he complained one night of her deficiency
in the blowing department and to help her with it, he signed her up for private
lessons with an F master. And the results were, um, mindblowing. But now
that they're no longer together, she's taking her skills elsewhere and the
recipient of her oral gifts cannot believe his luck. So much so that when
her new lover and her old one ran into each other at an event recently, Mr.
Current actually THANKED Mr. Ex for the hook up. Yet another reason why the
stupid idiot should be kicking himself for being so shortsighted? And it's
not Jennifer Lopez, Rebecca Romijn, Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, or Jennifer
Aniston.
32. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/09
WHICH Hollywood diva has been driving everyone mad on the set of her latest
film? Crew members are banned from speaking to her, and she gets to decide
which scenes are re-touched to make her look younger. Sharon Stone
33. Lainey's
Entertainment Update 12/11
Not only is she is a master at it, she's also a fiend. A few months ago,
at a business lunch with a couple of her boyfriend's business associates,
she apparently couldn't help herself, leaned over and whispered the following
in her lover's ear (and this is NOT FOR THE PRUDISH): Baby, I am gonna suck
it so hard when we get in the car. Needless to say, their lunch dates were
shocked...and just a little jealous. And it's not Mischa Barton, Sharon Stone,
or Elizabeth Hurley. Uma Thurman
34. Lainey's
Entertainment Update 12/11 #2
There's growing concern (part 1): Sure, she's terrible at what she does but
there's also another reason why she's been so invisible. I hear we are days
away from an intervention. What was once a glorious physique has become a
bag of bones and sunken cheeks. Why??? Same sad reason, I'm afraid. The poor
girl doesn't eat and while we're not at 911 status just yet her friends and
family are growing increasingly concerned. Especially her man, who is not
only worried, he's also horny. Seems her sex drive disappeared along with
her appetite. It's not Hilary Duff, Kate Hudson, or Mischa Barton.
Anna
Kournikova
35. Filth2go 12/12
Could it be that a certain newlywed is having trouble sticking to his vows?
So say those "ladies of the evening" who work the streets of Hollywood. And
we’re talking about ladies with penises, doncha know. They all have
the same story. Boy meets girls. Boy makes sure girl is really a boy. Boy
assumes the postion while girl pokes him up the pooper. Allegedly, there
is evidence to prove this - but we don’t get bogged down by details
like that. Kevin Federline
36. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 12/12
What erudite talk-show host is said to have moved in on the girlfriend of
his billionaire pal? Donny Deutsch/Mayor Bloomberg
37. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/12
WHICH New York rock darlings are becoming notorious for their drug consumption?
The band regularly utilizes the house drug dealer at a downtown hipster den,
where one of the members often indulges his habit of seducing underage
babes. The Strokes
38.
TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 12/13
One Overly Cozy Blind Vice: Stealth Stud-Poof has it all. He's got a decent
bod; a procreating, talented gal; and a well-respected and sizzling career.
Not to mention a great ass and a boyfriend who knows what to do with it.
The butt, that is, not the job stuff. See, Toothy Tile is not (by far) the
only homo in Hollywood who likes to push the fruitcake-covered envelope.
Uh-uh, no way. Whereas our loveable, somewhat confused Tooth is constantly
trying to figure out just what the hell he wants to do with his life--sexuality
being not the least of his concerns--Stealth has known from his relatively
flashy get-go what he wanted in life: a glitzy career, a wife and family
and--most definitely--a b-f on the side. And he got it all--plus more money
and job accolades than he ever expected. But here's what S.S.-P. wasn't counting
on: a lover so bossy Leona Helmsley looks like Snow White by comparison.
At first it was fine and cute. The side-screw was sufficiently content to
be relegated to where mistresses usually are: wink-wink, off in a discreet
corner, where only certain in-the-know members of Stealth's inner sanctum
were aware. Everybody got along. This was before said boy-mistress decided
his very convincing reincarnation of Eva Perón was in order. And so,
the dictator-channeling upstart began (with Stealth's quasi-reluctant approval)
ridding Mr. Stud-Poof's life of all that didn't please the new Eva. Which
meant off with anybody's head who didn't approve of Queen Boyfriend becoming
a royal attachment to Stealth's increasingly more visible side, wife included.
And now? The unlikely ménage à tricky trois is living together.
Or not. Stealth's got a few pads round the globe. And his Hollywood place?
Well, gosh, doesn't seem to be too much room for the missus here, now does
there? So, Stealth's rather horrified friends are now waiting for the wife-unit
to blow the cover on the whole mess. Don't count on it. I find in these prickly,
often legally complex scenarios, the tryst-seeking tabloids usually beat
the crossed housewife to the proverbial punch. IT'S NOT: Will Smith; Ben
Affleck; Matt Damon Hugh Jackman
39. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/14
WHICH smooth singer isn't the lothario he'd like us all to think? He's often
spotted out with a former boy-bander, and no matter what the slick twosome
tell the ladies, they're really more interested in each other.
40. Lainey's
Entertainment Update 12/14
Small secrets (Part 1): He might be on the cusp of superstardom but
unfortunately, his private parts don't seem to match the hype. According
to a former pre-fame lover, our man is teeny weeny. Not that that's terribly
important...right????
Small Secrets (Part 2): Physical shortcomings? Who cares? The man has
no shortage of poon waiting for him in every small town or big city. Doesn't
look like he restricts his yearnings to females either. For some reason,
on a recent visit back to the motherland, he was seen trying to kiss
more men than women. Wonder what that means?
new
lead singer of INXS
41. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/15
WHICH singer was forced to ditch her boyfriend by flunkies who thought he
stood in the way of lucrative deals? Joss Stone
42. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/16
WHICH trendy rocker got so sozzled at a recent showbiz bash he ended up,
er, relieving himself in the corridor? The fella in question caused
a worker to scream when he appeared out of nowhere.
43. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/17
WHAT blonde, young Hollywood starlet had fellow guests at a recent showbiz
do rolling their eyes at her oh-so-predictable behaviour? Everyone noticed
her super-frequent loo trips and the fine dusting of Colombian marching powder
under her nose. Kirsten Dunst; Tara Reid
44. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 12/17
Which young actor freaked in recent months when a director scheduled him
to shoot a death scene on the anniversary of his brother's death? Joaquin
Phoenix
45. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/18
--WHICH A-list actress throws a punch like a prizefighter? When the sexy
thesp caught her wealthy boyfriend bugging out on cocaine and booze in a
room at L.A.'s Chateau Marmont, the couple got into a vicious argument that
led to the actress slugging her boyfriend in the face, causing him to fall
and chip his tooth on a table. But they soon reconciled and spent the day
driving around L.A. looking for a good cosmetic dentist.
--WHICH Hollywood actor and his wife stiffed the staff at a historic downtown hotel with no tips whatsoever after living there more than a month? He was in town working on a play and she reportedly drove the staff nuts with her diva demands before they packed up and left without tipping.
46. Filth2go 12/19
Could it be that a certain diet guru (not the one you're thinking of) is
not even interested in following his own regime? So say sources close to
the meat lover who tell me that the hungry man routinely requests products
from the "Atkins" line of diet foods - in between telling nasty little racist
jokes. All the easier to slip into his Calvins. Karl Lagerfeld;
Michael Thurman from "Extreme Makeover
47. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/19
WHICH hot singer is behaving stone cold towards her mega-rich ex-boyfriend?
The babe in question is sending out mixed messages - bombarding her ex with
romantic texts but also instructing her aides to set up dates. Joss
Stone
48. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 12/21
Which national TV reporter is turning mistress No. 3 into wife No. 2? The
two other mistresses from his first marriage are both miffed about the wedding,
tattling that the bride-to-be (who has her own TV aspirations) not only got
a ring out of him, but a nose job.
49. POPBITCH 12/21
--Which Hollywood superstar's new relationship seems entirely to be conducted
in the full glare of the media? Maybe it's because her funnyman beau prefers
men? Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn
--Who is Kate Moss going to hook up with next? Well, just before she fell for Doherty she had sex with a cartoonish indie singer in the toilet of a house paty. Damon Albarn of Gorillaz
--Which former teen-band idol copped off at a gay sauna last week with a rather cute rent boy? Lance Bass
50.
TED
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 12/22
One Pained 'n' Stained Blind Vice: Now, this is a really skanky one to go
out on. The year's up, and so is this chick's pretty-puss time. See, Schlocky
Ticky-Tocky, always known more for her talent than her beauty, is getting
on--as we all appear to be, perhaps with the sole exception of Paris Hilton
(arguable point, I know). So, Schlocky--a kudo queen for one of her more,
uh, less scene-chewing flicks--went to see a fancy plastic surgeon. Not one
of the best, perhaps, but not one of the worst cracks in town either. S.T.-T.
got herself a face-lift, went for the whole works, the full bandaged shebang.
Now, here's where it gets dicey--not to mention really ugly. Schlocky's a
very, very heavy smoker. Idiot. As if lung cancer and assorted other potential
ailments waiting to afflict the once A-list actress weren't enough to scare
this broad off the fags, you'd think the following would. Ticky-Tocky's doc
told the pre-op broad that she had to not only stop smoking before the surgery,
but during the healing process, as well. Had. To. And do you think she did?
All the addicts in the world are all shouting hell, no! in unison, right
about now, and I'm one of 'em, damn straight. As a most unfortunate side
effect of not following her physician's warning, Ms. T.-T.--who indeed continued
to smoke like a chimney through all phases of her elective, invasive
treatment--now has permanently marked nicotine lines of medium to dark brown
wherever there were incisions. On her jaw and face, her neck, her brow--in
addition to additional splotches on her cheeks. Accordingly, Schlocky never,
ever goes out without full makeup and scarves. Jesus, may I never pick up
another cigarette again--'cause I sure don't want my face-lift resulting
in that! And it ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand
51. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/22
WHICH actor's sunshine holiday has turned into a damp squib because of his
constant whingeing? His holiday companion has been overheard saying that
his behaviour is "worse than the kids" as he says he hates the food and weather
and is snapping at staff. Jude Law
52. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 12/22
Which gold-digging actress is trying to break up a soon-to-be-divorced Hollywood
A-lister and his TV host girlfriend? Friends say she has already decided
to hyphenate his last name onto hers when she bags the famous funny man for
her own.
Hollywood A-Lister: Eddie Murphy
gold-digging actress: Robin Givens
TV host girlfriend: Shaun Robinson
53. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 12/23
Which bitter feud between an actor-musician and his recently fired manager
took a turn for the worse when the latter had a gang member attack the star's
assistant at a Miami club? A witness says the entertainer looked on in shock
before beckoning for security. P Diddy
54. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/24
WHICH bad-boy rocker decided to make a mate's party more interesting by lighting
up a huge spliff in the middle of the dancefloor? His pals weren't kidding
when they told him he was stupid, as the bash was being filmed for a
documentary.
55. NY POST/PAGE SIX...12/26
--WHICH TV personality, who keeps failing upward despite his discernible
lack of talent, is starting to look bizarre? He brags to his friends about
his use of Botox, but now the collagen lip implants and the too-blonde hair
are making him look not only scary, but weird. Ryan Seacrest
--WHICH Oscar-winning actor is a major horndog? While being interviewed recently by a cute blonde, he made suggestive motions with his hand and became visibly aroused. Jamie Foxx; Adrien Brody
56. Filth2go 12/26
--Could it be that a certain television twosome is kaput? So say sources
on the set with the close-cropped cutie, who point out the extraordinary
steps one will take to avoid being killed off - including booting a live-in
love. Egads I'd probably feel buried alive under all of those hair care
products. George Eads and Eric Szmanda of
CSI
--Could it be that a certain ambitious (and ambiguous) boy is making an unholy alliance to further his thespianistic career? So say sources close to that sexual predator, who tell me that he's had a sexy siren in his sights - and perhaps in his bed. One thing leads to another so don't be surprised to see mentor and apt pupil joined at the hip and making beautiful music. Who's in front and who's in back has not been revealed.
57. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 12/27
Which Aussie actress had better keep her eyes on her beau? The actor has
been offering his number to several young ladies below 14th St. over the
past few months. Naomi Watts/Liev Schrieber
58. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/28
WHICH fashionista is wearing a full-time weave after her years of drug abuse
have left her almost bald? The friend of the stars is now considering a hair
transplant on top of the nearly £50,000 she's already spent on surgery.
Donatella Versace
59. 3 A.M. GIRLS 12/29
WHO's the Hollywood star who's so paranoid about his wife cheating on him
he's hired a private investigator to keep an eye on her? The former hellraiser
would appear to be judging others by his own standards - but friends predict
a river of tears if his missus finds out. Sean Penn
60. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/29
--WHICH long-married rock star defines cheating the same way Bill Clinton
used to? The frisky frontman, who claims to be faithful, has only oral sex
with his groupies. Jon Bon Jovi
--WHICH business legend died with his sexual secrets intact? According to never-leaked divorce papers, the potentate's ex-wife claims he had a raging case of herpes.
--WHICH celebrity sisters drank so much at their holiday party that one of them ended up vomiting in the bathroom of their high-profile home? The Olsen Twins
--WHICH super-couple likes to renew their Mile-High Club membership almost every time they fly? The horny duo are infamous among private plane crews for their loud lovemaking at sky-high altitudes. Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn; Jude Law/Sienna Miller; Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake; Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey
61. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 12/30
Those former lesbian lovers who are so outspoken about their ardor are less
forthcoming about their shared interest in heroin. Angelina Jolie
and Jenny Shimuzu
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Last updated: February 18, 2006
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