May and June 2004

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1. MOVIELINE/MAY #1
To the public, he's one of Hollywood's most legendary, respected actors. To coworkers, he's something else again. Take what happened on one of his latest and very worst movies, which is saying something considering the dreck he's been doing these days. He frustrated the cast and crew by constantly turning up late, looking like the wrath of God and never knowing his lines. Just as maddeningly, he ignored the director and refused to rehearse or do more than a few takes, in complete contrast to his costar who was the essence of professionalism. Things got so bad, the producers wanted to sue the actor, but then, guess what? Audiences loved him so much more than his lovely, hardworking costar. Go figure.
respected actor: Robert De Niro
lovely hardworking costar: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos
movie: "Godsend"

2. MOVIELINE/MAY #2
It seems that a top director got much less than he bargained for when he cast an inexperienced beauty in his high-profile new movie. Sure, the doll looked super-fine as she always does and even seemed relaxed and charismatic in her screen tests. Her saucy, sexy and unpretentious style also charmed the pants off everyone on the production - most notably the smitten director. But the big clash came when studio execs viewed the looker's performance, found it (to put I mildly) weak and strongly lobbied the director to chop her out of the film altogether. The helmer put up a very big stink at first but, in the end, we'll be seeing a whole lot less of her in the movie than was originally planned. Diane Kruger in "Troy"; Gwen Stefani in "The Aviator"; Paris Hilton in "Raising Helen"; Faith Hill in"Return of the Stepford Wives"

3. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/02
--WHICH Latina temptress with dubious acting skills got her career the old-fashioned way? Although she seems to have a boyfriend, the gorgeous hottie has slept her way through several co-stars, producers and other Hollywood heavyweights . . . Eva Mendes

--WHICH actress is trying to start a singing career because she's been stuck on the D-list for a decade and is determined to get off it? . . . Minnie Driver; Juliette Lewis; Jada Pinkett

--WHICH teen starlet is developing a drug problem? She's hooked up with a hard-partying bad boy and friends are worried she's adopting his nasty habits. Mischa Barton

4. NY POST/PAGE SIX. 05/03
WHICH talk show host has a problem with a sexy segment producer? She's telling friends how he tried to slide his hand up her skirt during a private meeting.

5. GLOBE 05/03
This hot '70's singer has undergone several face-lifts, not to mention a tummy tuck, breast enhancement, butt lift, and endles botox and collagen injections, in order to retain her fading looks. She refuses to hang it up on stage and just went under the knife again. Debbie Harry

6. NY POST/PAGE SIX....05/04
--WHICH morning chat show queen is wearing bangs to hide the scars from a recent brow lift? The perky host bowed to the new reality of HDTV, where every wrinkle is visible onscreen . . .Katie Couric

--WHICH Oscar-winner likes to prey upon younger actors? When the older man's sexual advances were shot down during dinner at a fancy restaurant, he walked out, leaving the broke younger man stuck with the bill . . .Kevin Spacey

--WHICH rough-and-tumble actor, who regularly professes his devotion to his new wife and baby, was seen frolicking with not one, but two women at a club in Toronto? It seems his womanizing ways are not yet behind him.  Russell Crowe

7. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/06
WHICH pop tart's new boyfriend had an especially skanky way of describing sex after a recent bathroom tryst? Britney Spears

8. GLOBE 05/10
This big screen beauty's former actor beau is now putting the squeeze on her divorced mother. He's been calling and emailing her like crazy, sending baubles and flowers to her home, and begging her to visit him on the set of his new movie. Mom is extremely flattered and would love to date the years younger guy, but daughter dearest is seeing red and has threatened to cut off all communication if she does.

9. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/10
WHICH young heartthrob might be facing a lawsuit from the parents of two teenage boys? At the recent premiere of his movie, the actor invited the pubescent pair back to his hotel room for an "after party" which turned out to be just the three of them, then plied the youngsters with liquor and tried to get them into bed. The boys promptly told their folks, who are said to be mulling legal action . . . Jonathan Bennett from "Mean Girls"

10. NY POST/PAGE SIX 05/13
WHICH box-office hero is so smitten with the lush leading lady of his next picture that observers liken him to a puppy nipping at her heels - and other parts? Meanwhile, his wife can't figure out why he's been so distracted lately. Hollywood insiders expect the whole thing to bust open later this week when the lovebirds will be in Cannes at the same time for different movies.
hero: Brad Pitt
lush leading lady: Angelina Jolie
wife: Jennifer Aniston

11. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/14
--WHICH A-list star has been smoking pot when she's not breast-feeding her baby? The Hollywood hippie doesn't believe she can pass on the mind-bending effects of marijuana through her mother's milk . . . Kate Hudson

--WHICH starlet's deejay boyfriend got his stomach stapled to appear more svelte? Truth be told, she could stand to hit the gym herself . . .

--WHICH hunky TV actor is about to lose it all? He's been fighting with the show that made him famous and insiders are fuming because he doesn't take his medication to control his anger and addictive behavior - turning taping sessions into a "nightmare." William Peterson/"CSI"; Keifer Sutherland/"24"; Anthony Michael Hall "The Dead Zone"

12. GLOBE 05/17
This sexy singer is leading a double life and cheating behind her handsome beau's back. Unbeknownst to him, she keeps a secret "love nest" in West Hollywood where she goes for romps with both male and female companions. It's one of the few places she can go to for total privacy since there's always a houseful of friends, relatives and security people hanging around her main residence just a few miles away.

13. Filth2Go 05/17
Could it be that an actor playing a high-profile gay role on television has been outed? In the long-overdue DVD release of Torch Song Trilogy (gorgeously transferred in wide-screen), there is an enormously entertaining alternate audio track where Harvey Fierstein shares bon mots about his career, the genesis of the play, adapting it for film, casting, etc. A must-have for all FoFs (Fans of Filth). And, fortuitously, Harv has provided us with a blind item this week. In the midst of discussing how far gay actors have come, he says: “This year there was a cover of Vanity Fair magazine about the new television season and how gay it was. And the cover was like ten people in gay shows and there’s only one gay person on the cover. Well, one openly gay person. You know, there’s that other one who, if you say he’s gay, he’ll sue you. I would like to drown him with the kittens. He is exactly the reason why we’re still fighting for our rights, because he is advertising daily that there’s something wrong with being gay.” I’m telling you, the DVD is a must-see. Gee, I wonder who Harv is talking about. Will you grace us with a guess? Sean Hayes of "Will & Grace"

14. 3 AM GIRLS 05/17
Which A-list star recently got stoned in Amsterdam, much to the amusement of passers-by? The intoxicated lady was high as a kite, telling fellow coffee-shop dwellers: "I love getting stoned." Britney Spears

15. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/18
--WHICH action hero left Pangaea at 3 a.m. and called a leggy lovely he met earlier that evening? Apparently forgetting he is engaged, he partook of some heavy carnal action on a friend's couch before riding off into the sunrise . .Bruce Willis

--WHICH female R&B singer is sleeping with the very married CEO at a boutique record label which is in big trouble with the law? Sources say they are always sneaking around when no one is looking - especially her mother/manager, who is unaware of the affair . . . Brandy; Ashanti

16. 3 AM GIRLS 05/18
Which actor is back on the narcotics, despite supposedly being on a health kick? The naughty boy is fooling Cannes-dwellers with his new, clean regime but it's only a matter of time before his sharp-eyed girlfriend discovers his secret. Robert Downey Jr.

17. NY POST/PAGE SIX...05/20
WHICH leading man is so desperate for his summer movie to be a hit, he called up a top critic and promised him oral sex if he "helped" him out with a good review? His wife has no idea of the "promise," but the actor does need some assistance - his last few movies have flopped. Jackie Chan

18. POPBITCH 05/20
Which non-dog walking Hollywood megastar is a VIP member of Heaven nightclub in London and has access to a secret, private room where he likes to entertain rent boys? Kevin Spacey

19. LA.COM 05/23
You may think you're working the job from hell, but Dolly's telling you to just fall to your knees right now in thanks you're not involved with TV's most hated cast on that long-running show. Guest stars have been known to flee the set swearing they'd rather clean bedpans than work with this bunch of nasty, backbiting malcontents, who welcome newbies to the set by not bothering to talk with them and refusing to rehearse with them, among other charming gestures. In other words, working on the show is pretty much the exact opposite of "Frasier," where everybody was nice and talented. Also unlike "Frasier," everybody on this other show, from top to bottom, so dislikes each other that, between takes, the set is mostly weighed down by a stony silence. In the private dressing trailers, though, complaints about each other get broadcast loud and clear. Things are so bad that even though a few cast members rightfully wonder whether they'll ever work steadily again, most are hoping they'll be put out of their misery once the network finally pulls the plug. Personally, Dolly hopes the show stays on the air forever. These creeps deserve each other. "ER"; "Everybody Loves Ryamond"; "Will & Grace"

20. NY POST/PAGE SIX. 05/24
WHICH pint-sized celebrity likes to take Ecstasy before he has sex with his much-taller girlfriends? The jury is still out on the li'l lover's prowess between the sheets - some exes have likened his manhood to a "cocktail weenie," while others are impressed by his endowment.  Mini-Me (Verne Troyer)

21. GLOBE 05/24
This Oscar legend has a taste for younger men. He invited one hunk to dinner at a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant and was stunned when the guy turned down his advances, explaining he's more of a ladies' man. After downing two $200 bottles of champagne and a fancy feast together, the star excused himself to use the rest room - then made a beeline out the door, leaving his guest to pay the check. Kevin Spacey

22. Filth2Go 05/24
Could it be that a lazy late night gabber has kept his loose lips locked about a certain secret? So say set spectators who tell me that their clueless captain thinks no one notices those daily dalliances in his dressing room. Honey, when a parade of single-shot sirens of various ethnicities come and go with alarming regularity, it makes one take pause – especially when one ebony empress emphatically engages in accusation better suited for Maury. Craig Kilborn

23. POPBITCH 05/27
Which ice-maiden movie star has an instinct for stealing even the most basic things from photo shoots and film sets? Sharon Stone

24. L.A.COM 05/30
Nobody needed to call a psychic hotline to predict how dicey things might get between two costars of that high-budget romp. But few could have predicted that things would turn so downright nasty. In this corner, Cool Cat, a rowdy hellraiser who likes nothing better than to bust the chops of fools and posers. In the opposite corner, Stoner, a narcissist and big-time  ego tripper, who pays bonehead flunkies to fawn over him, chortle at his moronic jokes, and keep him supplied with women and various illegal substances. By the time costar number two was strutting around the set announcing that under no circumstances was anyone to touch him, ever, he had completely burned out his coworkers. So, during a big action scene, Mr. Cool accidentally-on-purpose smacked the self-loving stoner across his smug puss. Things got testy and the stoner's goons were ready to start throwing punches, but everybody played it off as if it were all just one big accident. That night, however, when Cool joined his comrades for dinner, they all broke out into applause. For the rest of the shoot, nobody touched Stoner, but the director and editor gleefully fingered his celluloid: They sliced his role down to practically a cameo. Vince Vaughn /Snoop Dogg in 'Starsky & Hutch'

25. GLOBE 05/31
This big-screen beauty, whose acting abilities leave a lot to be desired, is sleeping her way to the top. Although she proclaims she'd never cheat on her boyfriend, she's bedded numerous producers, directors and other Hollywood heavyweights who've offered her coveted roles. She explained that she's giving her career a boost "the old-fashioned way." Eva Mendes

26. SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE/JUNE
--Which married stars are staying together only for their young son? It's rumored that the sexy wife cheated with her TV costar, and the husband has secret flings with other men. Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth

--There's something about the way one '80s teen idol treats girls that's totally gross. He once picked up a girl at a club, spent the night with her -- then left her $800 the next morning. Matt Dillon

--Which publicist girlfriend of a super-famous actor should keep closer tabs on her man? He's been jockeying for other guys' attention at gay bars when she isn't around.  Tobey Maguire; Robert Downey Jr.

--Which underwear model/rapper-turned-actor is so superstitious that he has to say "God bless" to end a conversation? One time, he forgot -and chased a girl for a block to offer up his blessing. Mark Wahlberg

--Which rebel rock star/actress with court troubles is afraid of the dark? She was so scared to be alone in her room one night that she forced her tour manager to sleep in her bed with her. Courtney Love

27. MOVIELINE/JUNE #1
It must have seemed like a plot straight out of Noel Coward when those major stars - ex-marrieds - were shocked to find themselves vacationing with their new mates at the same exotic and remote South Seas resort. Although the place is intimate and secluded, the two couples at first avoided each other by staying in their private bungalows, and by making certain that they wouldn't run into each other while snorkeling or boating. But wouldn't you know that all their well-orchestrated comings and goings would be shot to smithereens when Mr. Movie Star trundled one night with his new boo into the dining room without a reservation while Mrs. Movie Queen, his ex, sat with her new beau at a primo corner table. While the frantic waitstaff did all they could to keep both parties distracted and well apart from each other, Mrs. Movie Star made a major slip (maybe a Freudian one?) by accidentally signing for the bill with her old married name, an embarrassing moment that hardly went without comment by her current and very jealous boyfriend. When the couple hastily left the dining room shortly after, neither one was smiling. Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman

28. MOVIELINE/JUNE #2
Wouldn't the paparazzi have a field day if they could capture for posterity the mating habits of a certain glamorously glam and legendarily wacky newish resident of the very private section of Malibu? Seems the dish, who can afford to work only when she damn well pleases, has a propensity for having things refurbished or repaired at her lavish spread. That means her driveway is always cluttered with the trucks of macho repairmen, gardeners, pool men and other domestic help. And, as is also her propensity, she likes to sunbathe or parade around for the help in various stages of undress, depending on how much she likes them. Despite the occasional presence of her successful, loving and very busy husband, the libidinous star just can't get enough of those rough blue-collar types who always leave her house with smiles on their faces.

29. Filth2Go 06/01
Could it be that Reichen isn’t the only gay celeb to have problems with People? A couple of years ago, gay singer Matt Zarley was included on the Eligible Bachelors list. But he was NOT the magazine’s first choice. Another singer was profiled and photographed. Then someone from the mag called the songbird to ask how he felt being the first openly gay person to make the list. All hell broke loose – the chanteuse was NOT openly gay and had no plans to come out (he still hasn’t, by the by). The editors at People were frantic, until someone came up with Zarley at the last minute, and the rest is history. Michael Bublé

30. l.a.com 06/01
A certain ex-teen idol must be seriously jonesing for those brief glory days of screaming fans, magazine covers, paparazzi attention, and her pick of the hottest manflesh in show business. Lately, she's been doing a few fairly low-key gigs, but even the teensiest taste of success brings out her inner psycho bitch. Suddenly she's demanding big-time perks from producers and studios who doubt she's worth the trouble anymore. She's making her agents yank out their hair because she's refusing roles she thinks are beneath her. And she's also back to her old ways in the man department, putting the make on married older dudes, especially non-showbiz spouses of her female friends and costars. We're doubting she'll get much career bounce from her newest projects, so maybe she should just go ahead with those cosmetic surgeries she's been discussing with specialists in New York and Europe. If she hopes to stay in the game, the ultracompetitive actress better do something. Shannen Doherty

31. l.a.com 06/02
You all know him as a former master thespian who's as famous as he is pretentious. But to your dear Dolly (not to mention to the actor’s coworkers) he’s an insecure, hammy, royal pain in the butt. Just ask that Oscar-level director what happened when he quietly informed his prickly star that an emotionally juicy scene they had been scheduled to shoot needed to be completely rethought. Saying that Mr. Method Actor went off the deep end would be too gentle. He bellowed, yowled, punched the air, kicked furniture and pitched such a major meltdown that his histrionics spread onto the soundstage, where crew members practically had to restrain him from throttling his director. Too bad cameras weren’t turning while the actor gave his greatest performance in ages.  M. Night Shyamalan/William Hurt/"The Village"

32. GLOBE 06/07
This young stud is in deep hot water. He met two teenage boys at the premiere of his new movie and invited them back to his hotel room for what was supposed to be an "after party." Once there, he plied them with booze and tried to get them in bed. The kids promptly told their parents, who are said to be considering legal action. Jonathan Bennett from "Mean Girls"

33. 3 AM GIRLS 06/02
Which skeletal star incensed diners at a posh New York restaurant by refusing to adhere to the no-smoking law? The skinny miss's flunkies told management that their chain-chuffing client "was far more important" than their other patrons and needed to puff to keep her hunger cravings at bay. That'll explain the cold shoulder, then... Lara Flynn Boyle; Victoria Beckham

34. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/03
--WHICH pro basketball player, husband of a world-class beauty, is said to be having a torrid affair with a recently divorced actress? And when he's not with her, he's chasing other foxes . . .
basketball player: Rick Fox of the Lakers
world-class beauty: Vanessa Williams
recently divorced actress: Halle Berry
other foxes: Vivica A. Fox

--WHICH stars lunching at the Four Seasons were embarrassed by an assistant to their high-powered agent? This dummy was so loud on his mobile phone that management told him to turn it off.

35. l.a.com 06/06
Years of great reviews and award recognition prove that this titan of movies, TV, and stage is about as good as it gets. (And she’d be the last one to argue with anyone on that score.) But when it comes to being popular with people she’s worked with, let’s just say girlfriend won’t be taking home any Miss Congeniality trophies anytime soon. Filming her newest movie, she was unusually unpleasant to everyone around her, avoiding conversation by constantly sticking her nose in a book or newspaper, speaking to coworkers only when she absolutely had to (and even then only in hostile grunts), and snarling at anyone who tried to be even moderately friendly. Our Lady of the Rampant Mood Swings gave off such a leave-me-alone vibe that production assistants privately drew straws and paid each other off in an effort to avoid having to deal with her directly. With all that fame and acclaim you’d think she’d be proud of her accomplishments--so what’s her big complaint? She has convinced herself that she is revolting to the opposite sex. Somebody ought to tell her it isn’t her face, figure or brain power that sucks, it’s her twisted 'tude. Bette Midler/"The Stepford Wives"

36. NY POST/PAGE SIX 06/06
--WHICH hunky TV personality had an affair with a trainer at his gym right after his wife had their baby? ... Charlie Sheen

--WHICH veteran anchorman - in his younger, hornier years - developed a hankering while traveling for Hertz rent-a-car girls? Maybe it was the uniform ... Peter Jennings

--WHICH famous Florida lesbian is bragging she nailed a top Victoria's Secret model? ... Ingrid Casares

--WHICH Oscar-winning actor is developing a reputation for picking fights with those who serve him drinks? Staffers at one strip club are still talking about the night he threatened a waiter who refilled his champagne glass without asking him. And he once tried to start a fight with a bartender at a hot Chelsea lounge who cut off the soused superstar's request for more shots.
Russell Crowe

37. Filth2Go 06/07
Could it be that a certain gay blade is hell bent on keeping his closet door firmly closed? So say my sources in the Big Apple, who tell me that the once-hot triple threat was asked to replace Hugh Jackman in The Boy From Oz this fall. Although this would not be the sexy señor’s first time on Broadway, it would definitely breathe a bit of domestic life into his sagging career. Alas, he flatly refused to play a character who is gay, to say nothing of actually having to kiss a guy onstage. Apparently he ain’t a Method actor! A pity – to waste all those rehearsals on what will remain a private emotion. Ricky Martin

38. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/07
WHICH celebrity couple's marriage may have been doomed by fast living? The dished-about duo indulged in all-night cocaine parties and threesomes with willing women.  John Stamos/Rebecca Romijn-Stamos

39. 3 AM GIRLS 06/08
Which model is too posh to push when it comes to wheeling her kid around in a buggy? But she thinks nothing of elbowing her nanny out of the way the moment a photographer appears so she can be snapped looking every inch the doting mother. "Posh Spice" Victoria Beckham; Kate Moss

40. l.a.com 06/08
If you want to see owners and managers of pricey clothing boutiques freak, just be there whenever this popular international dish comes cruising into their swank establishments trailed by her army of friends, relatives, flunkies and hangers-on. A clotheshorse and big spender, she spends hours and hours trying on only fashion’s costliest threads. Problem is, she’s so careless about her personal hygiene that once she wears something, it reeks so badly of her personal scent that it can’t possibly be sold retail anymore--so her try-ons first get seriously dry-cleaned, then shipped to discount racks. The doll is so stanky that after she completed shooting her recent hit movie, the wardrobe people burned her costumes to a crisp because they were totally unusable. This helps explain why she hooked up with her slightly less famous current squeeze, whose many erotic fetishes include flooding his sniffer with overripe body aromas. Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey; Rebecca Romin-Stamos/John Cusack

41. l.a.com 06/09
To watch this funny guy, you’d think he had the whole business wired. The guy earns massive paydays, has great friends, owns slammin’ cars and fab houses all over the place, and his job offers stretch from here to doomsday. He may not give Brad Pitt much competition in the looks department, but plenty of attractive women throw themselves at him. So the big mystery is why Mr. Laugh-a-Minute is so depressed that he has nervous friends on constant alert fearing he’ll someday drive himself off the nearest cliff, or off himself in some other dramatic way. He’s consulted with the best shrinks, gurus, religious types, health mavens and other counselors (let alone an army of quacks) but, so far, they’ve failed at helping this sad dude find a reason for living. His half-stabs at taking his own life have been thwarted by associates so far--and kept out of the press--but in a town full of sad stories, this guy’s story has got to rank as one of the saddest. Matthew Perry; Jim Carrey

42. 3 A.M. GIRLS 06/11
Which hip-hop star threw a hissy fit when she discovered she'd be expected to pay for her purchases in a London shoe shop? The bling-loving miss demanded the items for free - threatening to get the place "blacklisted" if she didn't. Missy Elliot

43. l.a.com 06/11
#1 - Recently, I attended the exclusive Los Feliz birthday bash thrown by one desirable young actor known for dating a hot indie starlet. Hummus and fried chicken were served out in the open, but guests had to work their way to the actor’s top-floor Spanish-styled bedroom to find the three half-naked bimbo strippers serving lines from close to a kilo of coke. (Each line was offered to guests’ hungry noses on a gold-plated coke spoon.) After getting their buzz on, the guests were given all the proper cocaine accoutrements: ice-cold vodka tonics, cigarettes galore scooped from large Moroccan bowls and pads of recycled paper to write down "brilliant thoughts." Later, after each and every guest was flying high, a troupe of African drummers loudly entered--which scared some of the more tweaked-out guests. Soon after the young actor’s white-boy friends joined in the drumming, the percussion transformed from soulful rhythm to “Pop Goes the Weasel,” proving once and for all that a bunch of coked-up white boys certainly can’t dance. Happy birthday, _____!

#2 - One of the biz’s newer young darlings is frantic to show her partying pals--and the whole wide world--that she’s fully independent from her fire-breathing mom, who wanted to be a star in the worst way. Lately, the curvy, sexy little miss has hooked up with a crowd of fun, fast rich things who like to sleep all day, take road trips and, by night, hit strip bars in places like Vegas and Palm Springs. So, on the newbie’s first or second strip club outing, her girls bought her a lapdance that went…well, let’s say, way longer and way hotter than anyone ever expected. So hot, in fact, that later that same night, after her girlfriends hit the sack, the doll snuck out and paid for an extra-long, extra-hot private session with the same stripper who, when their romp broke up in the wee hours, gave back the star’s money. Now the newly-liberated little miss has been making excuses to her usual crowd to sneak off and see her stripper girlfriend and the stripper’s seriously sleazy boyfriend, for whom she’s paying the bills, in addition to the expensive clothes and gear she buys them both. Kelly Osbourne

44. GLOBE 06/14
Fans of this beautiful young actress may soon see a lot more of her than she'd like. There's a steamy x-rated tape going around, shot by her former manager, in which she's engaged in a menage-a-trois with a hunky young guy and another woman. Between sex acts, they're shown snorting lines of cocaine. Tara Reid; Mischa Barton

45. Filth2Go 06/14
Could it be that a certain fabulous female with a footwear fetish is ever-so-slightly careless when it comes to her kid? OK, that last clue rules out your first guess, but at least you’re in the right city. She was hardly thinking of the best interest of her child when she suddenly needed a caffeine fix. Believe it or not, she actually asked a stranger on the sidewalk to watch the spawn in the stroller while she ran in for some java! Quelle horreur! Sarah Jessica Parker; Kelly Ripa

46. l.a.com 06/16
Depending on how hip your household is, he may or may not be a household name. But this moviemaking wild child is credited with some very high-profile movies, some of them memorably good, some memorably bad. With a simple cell phone call, he can land a meeting with practically any big noise in town. He can even land a girlfriend now and then, although he much prefers ordering out exotic dishes from escort services (and not exclusively from the high-dollar agencies either, if you catch Dolly’s way-way-south-of-Western-Avenue drift). The real lowdown on this guy is that he is majorly addicted to self-destructive and risky behavior, whether it’s rough and raunchy sex, driving one of his zillion dollar sports cars like a bat out of hell while soaring on various illegal substances, or cutting and burning himself deliberately in all sorts of tender places. No wonder he tends to wear long sleeves to all those high powered meetings, no matter how scorching the temperature. Quentin Tarantino

47. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/17
--WHICH basketball legend didn't limit his activities to golf on a recent trip to Myrtle Beach, S.C.? He spent some quality time with a pretty little Asian girl who works for a timeshare resort . . . Michael Jordan

--WHICH British TV star was cruising for boys on the Chelsea waterfront? The actor, dressed conspicuously in sunglasses and a "bad golf hat," almost "popped his eyes out of his sockets" at the sunbathers. Graham Norton

48.
Which TV and film actor didn't stay lonely when his actress wife went off to New York to film? The actor wiled away most of his time at the local Starbucks in Malibu and when the coffee   shop wasn't open, took the 18 year-old waitress back to his place for "coffee". David Duchovny/Tea Leoni

49. l.a.com 06/17
I was recently invited, through a friend, to one barely legal starlet’s party at the Hollywood Hills ranch rented for her by her current film's production office. As the party filled with handsome young stars, I went looking for the bathroom (too many margaritas!) and when I saw a long queue, I went to find another one. What I found instead was the movie star’s office/storage room, where there was a large framed photo of her ex-boyfriend and his new brunette girlfriend having sex on Malibu’s El Matador Beach. The photo looked like it was taken paparazzi-style, from behind one of the beach’s giant rock formations in the sand, but it was blown up and expertly framed. When I asked one of the starlet’s stylists if she knew anything about the porn photo, she said that the actress “likes to watch” and that she gets really turned on by thinking about her current boy getting it on with other women (and boys) in front of her. In this case, it appears that the actress shot the photo herself, post-breakup. Scarlett Johansson

50. GLOBE 06/21
This TV personality stunned folks seated in first class on a plane headed from Richmond, VA, to Detroit with his rude and outlandish behavior. After one of the flight attendants mistook him for an entertainer, he made some snide remarks to his companion, then started crooning loudly while the gal performed the on-board safety demonstration. When she jokingly told him, "You missed your calling. You should have been a singer," he snapped back, "You missed your calling. You should have been a waitress." Cedric the Entertainer

51. Australian NW magazine 06/21
--This teen pop star and his dysfunctional family are so loathed by their peers they've become the focus of a cruel smear campaign. Apparently, stickers referring to the blond lad's "mangina" and alleged desire to "suck alien c**k" are plastered all over a tour bus up for sale. Aaron Carter

-- Just when will this wacked-out teen star let go of her obsession with another blonde female starlet? Her loathing of her more talented opponent has grown to such epic proportions, some are speculating whether romantic feelings are the cause of her heated words. Avril Lavigne/Hilary Duff

-- This vertically challenged actor is so sensitive about his height, or lack of it, he gets his people to ensure there is a subtle ramp under the red carpet at each of his film premieres. Tom Cruise

-- This good-looking American TV star is fast developing a reputation as a ladies' man. One source claims, "he'll f**k anything in a stocking." While his stream of steady girlfriends think he's being faithful, his pals say the word monogamy isn't even in his vocabulary.

-- This well-known American singer has aroused fears she's headed for a melrdown after a bizarre gig in New Hampshire. The songstress stunned fams by making fun of overweight people, then launched into a 10-minute rants about anti-depressants. "She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts," says a source. Insiders sat the pressure to follow up the success of her first album may be leading her to a breakdown. Jewel

52. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/21
WHICH hard-partying daughter of an aging rock star is no longer pregnant? At first she told her boyfriend she'd keep the baby no matter what, but decided against it and got an abortion. Kimberly Stewart; Kelly Osbourne

53. Filth2Go 06/21
Could it be that an oft-rumored-about sudsy star has found the Lord? So say those close to the hospitable gent, who tell me that part of his package deal of instant family is a very short leash and daily prayer sessions. Yeah, smart move – make him spend even more time on his knees. Stick with what you know, and always be ready. But if you think he’s changed, you don’t know Jack. Jonathan Jackson

54. l.a.com 06/22
If a newsmaking relationship between two fine-looking famous names stars implodes with warp speed, you can bet your bottom Dolly the old green-eyed monster caused the split. See, the male member (you should pardon the expression), whose career isn’t exactly going places these days, is mad jealous--and so suspicious of his hot mama, he demands that she carry a Blackberry, cell phone and pager at all times so he can check on her whereabouts. As if that weren’t wacky enough, he insists that her appointment schedule be faxed to him daily. Now he’s even secretly hired private goons (mostly his out-of-work actor and musician friends) to tail her wherever she goes. The other afternoon, while she was getting waxed, massaged and pampered at that low-profile, celebrity-studded spa, Mr. Insecure phoned and beeped her so many times, the management ordered her to switch off her toys or hit the road. Have you guessed the punchline to this sickly obsessive tale? That’s right, the suspicious dude is actually the one who’s cheating, with an up-and-coming singer/actress.  Paris Hilton/Nick Carter; Charlize Theron/Stuart Townsend

55. RUSH & MALLOY/NY DAILY NEWS...06/23
Which hunky action hero is said to be getting some action from an equally handsome former co-star? Word is they clicked while visiting another planet during a sci-fi flick... Vin Diesel/Karl Urban

56. l.a.com 06/24
Even Dolly’s titanium-clad heart goes out to that young show biz beaut who could soon be spending some of her gazillions on couples therapy--if, that is, she wises up to the wild and wanderin’ ways of her good-lookin’-travelin’-man boyfriend. The sexy young thang must be so busy with her own booming multihyphenate career that she doesn’t have time to snoop into her boyfriend’s luggage before he hits the road. See, her man tends to cram his with such goodies as whips, handcuffs, leather masks, seriously scary dildos and those ever-popular tit clamps. If our starry-eyed little miss weren’t in such a state of denial, she might also have the time to check with the maids and staffs of the hotels at which her boyfriend stays, especially since the dude is so careless about leaving behind those sex toys wherever he goes. As for the pain-loving guy, we guess the dummy hasn’t figured out yet that the butch, foreign dominatrix types he likes to hire bring their own toys with them at no additional charge.

57. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/27
WHICH loveable actress' hubby is a jerk? Pals of the bubbly blonde say her spouse was so desperate for her to lose weight after she had their baby, he called her "fat" and "unattractive" and said if she didn't lose the weight he would have to look elsewhere for a bedmate.  Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson; Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos

58. GLOBE 06/28
This TV tough guy called off a trip to Southeast Asia after being notified he'd have to undergo a series of shots. He wussed out after the first one, telling the doc, "I can't deal with this. I think I'll stay home and take the family to Disneyland instead." Turns out he suffers from a fear of needles, otherwise known as aichmophobia. Michael Chiklis

59. Filth2Go 06/28
Could it be that a certain early bird is crowing that she’ll soon be the queen bee? Not so fast – the current Queen may have announced her abdication, but there’s a wrinkle that even a klieg light can’t show. Soon enough, the aggressive babe can regain her eyesight, and she’ll see that no one’s going anywhere. It’s just a case of musical chairs, and the dowager will still be sitting pretty – and calling all the shots. Diane Sawyer/Barbara Walters

60. NY POST/PAGE SIX...06/28
WHICH popular television host isn't so happily married? The charmer has carried on an affair with a young girl for several years — even during his wife's pregnancy — paying discreet visits after his work day is done. Matt Lauer

61. l.a.com 06/30
That sexy, offbeat couple that hooked up on a cult-y TV show have been joining fellow Angelenos in that favorite weekend sport: hitting open houses. Friends and star-watchers in the know have interpreted this extracurricular behavior as a sign that a sometimes bouncy relationship may be moving toward the settling-down stage, to be followed by the raising of pretty, spoiled, therapy-bound rugrats. But that’s definitely not the whole enchilada. These quirky lovebirds are just trying to spice up their relationship--they’re such a pair of thrill-junkies, they’ve become addicted to pulling stunts like having quick sex in out-of-the-way rooms, guest houses and even attics of homes for sale, all the while fearing/hoping they’ll get busted. And recently, they got their wish. More than a few high-end realtors and home sellers are tricking out their prized properties with security cameras, in hopes of catching thieves and scammers who have been hitting open houses lately. But when our two lovebirds got caught on camera doing some oral gymnastics in an upstairs children’s bathroom, they were asked by the real estate agents to vacate the premises pronto. How long before that tape turns up on the web? Adam Brody/Rachel Bilson "The O.C."; Jennifer Garner/Michael Vartan

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Last updated: August 11, 2004

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