November and December 2003

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NOVEMBER
1. COSMOPOLITAN NOVEMBER/2003
#1. One angelic star wanted to pump up her sexy icon status witha new pair of breast implants for a topless scene in her next film, but when the bandages were removed, this movie mom's breasts were hanging cockeyed. She had to have them redone - and the scarring prevented her from showing any skin on screen. Her famous boytoy, however, isn't complaining one bit! Demi Moore

#2. The studly fiance of a notable diva has a secret: his head is practically hairless! His thick brown locks are actually a specially attached hairpiece that does double duty: it hides the holes in his scalp from recent hair plugs, and it won't fly away while he's filming windy action shots. Ben Affleck

#3. There's something about this movie star that she doesn't want you to know: she wears a mask of makeup to cover up acne on her face and back! Plus, her b.o. smells like an animal at the zoo. She rarely bathes, and she's proud of it. Even worse, she acts more like an ogre than a princess on sets - farting and burping with abandon! She even makes assistants shave her stinky armpits, which reportedly prompted one of them to say 'take this job and shave it!' Cameron Diaz

#4. At a costume party deep in the hollywood hills, one hunky male movie star (out for the night without his usual celeb gal-pal) wore a toga like a roman emperor with a gold crown of olive branches. His sex appeal was so strong that at harem of hot-bodied babes were determined not to lose this guy, so they stripped off their costumes and danced around their king - naked! Matthew McConaughey

2. NOVEMBER/MOVIELINE
#1 - This babe has starred in a slew of high-profile but mostly not-so-hot movies and is gaining a reputation for being crazier than a bedbug. Ask any of her male costars, who hope to never encounter her again in this or any other lifetime. She recently stormed unannounced into one of Beverly Hills's chicest, lowest-profile hair salons wanting the works and demanding immediate attention. After going ballistic when the receptionists dared to remind her that she hadn't made an appointment, she screamingly insisted she had, but that they were too incompetent for her to deal with. Insisting on seeing the salon's owner, on whom she pulled the hoary line ­ No, she didn't! Oh yes, she did! ­ "Do you have any idea who I am?" she went even more psycho when said very hip owner told her that he hadn't until she told him. Why not? Probably because the crazy young thing recently underwent so much unnecessary plastic surgey in Europe that she looks vastly different than she did in the movies that made her a legend in her own mind. And it turns out the surgery hurt so badly that she got hooked on painkillers that have turned her already fragile psyche into a battlefield. Brittany Murphy

#2 - At first, this young movie looker thought her famous boyfriend was just....well....meticulous about his feet. Later, she thought otherwise, and that's why they broke up. Let's back up. So, when they initially met and moved into their Hollywood home together, everything was hunky-dory, peachy-keen. So what if the sandal-wearing dude liked to call in Asian manicurists three times weekly? But when the richy-rich doll found that her boyfriend preferred to make love to her feet instead of her and wanted to bring her girlfriend's feet into the act with them, she figured out something was askew. After the weekend when she and another famous friend found zillions of downloaded shots of women's feet on his computer, as well as hundreds of pictures stashed in secret places everywhere inside the house, guest house and garage, she dumped him, moved out and hotfooted it to the other side of the world just to avoid him.

3. Filth2Go...11/03
Could it be that a certain hunky actor is exploring his same-sex options? With that body, he’s got TONS of potential partners, but when the paparazzi are lying in wait outside your cottage, it’s hard to continue experimenting. That’s when a clandestine visit to an all-night sex shop comes in handy. And nothing says loving like a training-sized butt plug and a slightly larger dildo (you have to do these things incrementally – so I’m told). I hear that he’s even taken to wearing his accoutrements out in public, which would explain that swagger in his step. From the sound of it, he likes having company in his sweet valley.

4. GLOBE 11/04
This big-screen star, who's been in and out of rehab, has some folks wondering if he really has cleaned up his act or gone off the deep end. He showed up at an LA tattoo parlor for the third time in several weeks and stunned employees by speaking gibberish. "Nobody could understand him," says my spy. "He started talking in riddles and tongues and was totally unintelligible. Tattoo artists are used to working on freaks, but he was really out there." Robert Downey Jr.; Nick Nolte

5. Filth2Go...11/10
Could it be there’s a secret behind the long-delayed regrouping of that boy band? That’s the buzz from folks close to the mates who tell me that the impediment has been more personal rather than professional. While the blame has publicly been solo endeavors around the world, we hear that two of the boys are fighting over a third fella. Here’s the best part – although one of the songbirds tricked with the outsider, the other songstress is currently dating him! But that’s only the beginning. The two singing partners were already reeling from the damage of their own break up! And while both boys secretly hoped the other wouldn’t get another boyfriend, neither one was saying, “I want you back” or “I don’t want you back.” No matter what, all the time in the world ain’t gonna fix this one. Eh, that’s how love goes when you’re a celebrity. Boyzone

6. GLOBE 11/11
This Oscar winner loves to pick up a certain prostitute on the way home from his favorite Hollywood haunt, then bring her back to his pad....just to talk dirty to him! He never lays a hand on the girl, but gets his kicks by watching her strip and act out his secret fantasies. When the show is over, he hands her $200, puts her in a cab and sends her on her merry way. "It's a lot safer than having sex," he told a pal. Jack Nicholson

7. STAR MAGAZINE 11/11
Which Hollywood hunk with a bad-boy past who's supposedly cleaned up his act never really stopped making mischief? On a recent jaunt to a Colorado resort he indulged in booze, drugs and women, we're told. According to people in the actor's innercircle, he falls off the wagon every couple of months with drug-addled long weekends where babes-for-hire are a prime feature. If his wife ever finds out what he's been up to behind her back, it will ruin both their lives. Charlie Sheen; Christian Slater; Don Johnson; Rob Lowe; Sean Penn

8. NY POST/PAGE SIX 11/12
--WHICH top TV producer used his power to find a spot on his hit crime show for a beautiful blond actress? Word is she's also his mistress . . . Dick Wolf/Elizabeth Rohm -"Law & Order"; Jerry Bruckheimer/Poppy Montgomery - "Without a Trace"; Jerry Bruckheimer/Kathryn Morris - "Cold Case"

--WHICH top woman designer just paid a visit to a top New York plastic surgeon? The whisper is she had even more lip enhancement . . . Donatella Versace

--WHICH sexy star who just split with her longtime boyfriend is now interested in exploring her Sapphic side? Spies claim the actress is now dating a woman and is "happier than she has ever been." Cynthia Nixon

10. NY POST/PAGE SIX..... 11/16
--WHICH blond starlet - recently spotted dirty-dancing with a punky female pop star - left Lotus the other night with her boyfriend and went to a friend's loft party? Upon arrival, she terminated the boyfriend for a brunette bombshell. "They were kissing, etc., all night," said our source. Kristanna Loken and Pink

--WHICH hot young director, who recently split from his director wife, has been complaining to confidants that she cheated on him several times during their short-lived marriage? Sofia Coppola/Spike Jonze

--WHICH eccentric actor hosted a series of all-night cocaine parties for his celebrity pals during his latest stay at Hollywood's Chateau Marmount? Val Kilmer

9. Filth2Go...11/17
Could it be that the Vanity Fair gay photo shoot went off without a hitch? Not a prayer. First there was the brouhaha that only one person on the cover of TV’s Gay Heat Wave is openly gay. That was not the original plan, but someone who did make the cover demanded that someone else get cut. Moving inside the issue, one fella fought to keep his shirt off, while another not only doffed the shirt but stated clearly, “This is how I stand, how I angle my body, and how I pose – period.” In his defense, the end result may be the best photo ever taken of him (even if that Emmy winner’s eyes were rolling through the drama). But more interesting were the two couples who insisted on posing together for varying reasons. Two unlikely guys ended up in an embrace because they actually tricked the night before (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone). The other two have not yet gone all the way – although some “manipulation” transpired during the shoot! Last but not least, the one person everyone expected to be the ultimate diva was a little lamb and did exactly as told. The photos almost show this person looking “ethereal”. High as a kite, or so the story goes.

10. GLOBE 11/18
This actor with a squeaky-clean image is a wild man behind the scenes. He shocked his costars on the set of his latest film by snorting lines of cocaine and partying up a storm. During a night out with cast and crew, he got so drunk and drugged out that he passed out on the floor but couldn't remember what happened when he came to several hours later.

11. Filth2Go...11/24
Could it be that a certain funny man is ready to hang up his quick wit to prove he’s more than a punch line? So say my pals at the networks who tell me that very discreet inquiries have gone out to see if he might join an existing one-hour drama full-time when his schedule frees up – which would be next season. After all, films have not been his métier – stick with what works, I always say. As to the rest, I’m sworn to secrecy because you don’t wanna piss off friends in high places.
Matthew Perry/The West Wing

12. GLOBE 11/25
This aging TV star insisted on auditioning hairdressers for a recent project. When they came to meet her, she demanded that they get into bed with her and cuddle for 15 minutes to see if she felt a "bond" between them. Following her bizarre "casting bed" experience, she finally did select one -- a raving homosexual.
Cybill Shepherd; Farrah Fawcett

13. STAR 11/25
Which two sexy Tinseltown starlets recently got into a sordid scuffle over drugs? One gave the other a black eye during a tussle over $1500 worth of heroin. The fight started after one friend found the drugs in the other's handbag and wanted to confiscate them. In the end she succeeded but not without sustaining a serious injury. And although she's no angel herself, we have to give the injured party credit for doing the right thing this time.

Nicole Richie/Paris Hilton

14. MOVIELINE/DECEMBER #1
Things got tense when the leading man of that hugely expensive movie showed up to greet his director weeks before he was set to begin shooting and the moviemaker saw how badly out of shape he'd gotten since hiring him. The director immediately flew in an expensive trainer to get the actor on a crash exercise-and-diet program and sent the two off to a remote retreat. Things would have gotten even more tense, though, if the actor had heard the director frantically calling agents to check on the availability of his second-choice star. With the other actor booked, the director figured he was saddled with an albatross - but guess what? Mr. Movie Star worked like a demon, shed plenty of poundage and reported for filming looking very, very good. And what he couldn't fix - hey, that's what digital retouching is for. Russell Crowe in "Master and Commander"

15. MOVIELINE/DECEMEMBER #2
It's all very well for that new, nervy young movie diva to have helped herself to her very expensive wardrobe on her last two hit movies. But when she finished her most recent screen caper, she flipped out many of her co-workers (who didn't like her much to begin with) by snaking not only her own clothes but also those of her costar - who found out and read her the riot act. Didn't do any good though, and it won't do any good until the new flick gets released - and bombs because she stinks in it, giving her a badly needed dose of humility.

16. Filth2Go...12/01
Could it be that two people in this very column have come damn close to having sex? The colleague of one of our subjects has delighted in detailing this alleged mid-air tryst – complete with the sexual predator’s trigger finger finding its way onto the prey’s firm joystick while said prey was reclining on one of the sleepers. Although this mission was aborted, it still makes for a fun story to tell in certain circles.
Tom Cruise and Jason Patric

17. GLOBE 12/02
This former ladie's man is back to his old tricks. When his wife went out of town recently, she hired an extra servant to help with the house and kids and wouldn't you know, hubby hopped into bed with her! The gal got fired the minute the missus returned, but now she's peeved and has threatened to spill the dirt if Romeo doesn't pay up. Warren Beatty; Michael Douglas

18. Filth2Go...12/08
Could it be that a certain music personality has lost his touch? So say people at that network who whisper that the talking head owes most of his advancement to giving head! But his increasing ego and age are making it look like last call – especially with that young‘uns following his example. Might be time to revisit his past and release some greatest hits. Carson Daly

19. GLOBE 12/09
This skinny actress is seriously hooked on diet pills and cocaine. Friends and family members have been desperately trying to convince her to check into a rehab center for years, but she insists there's nothing wrong and that "half of Hollywood" is doing it.
Lara Flynn Boyle

20. AMBROSE BLIND ITEM 12/14
Apparently the newest LA paranoia is fear of lost or missing personal videos and photographs. Everyone and their dog are sweating out the possible appearance of videos and or pictures of themselves doing things which they wouldn't want their mothers to see. Despite having a repectable show business pedigree, this semi-young actress known for her sexiness and her "off-beat" beauty, almost as much as she is known for her famous boyfriends, began her career on the party circuit, where she was the star of a number of private videos, which a former Hollywood producer and legendary party arranger had supposedly destroyed. Well surprise, a copy of one still exists, and our lovely lady is in a panic. Fortunately she and her better half have lots of money because she has several women on salary whose primary job is to find and destroy the offending evidence before it appears on the internet It's existence came to light when the wife (or former wife my source wasn't sure) of the costar of one of her videos, who was staying with Mr. Producer while awaiting a marriagectomy, came across the tape while she home alone, (Producer man was out for the evening) and was looking for a porn with which to entertain solitary self. (See girl, that's what you get for abusing yourself. You should have thought clean thoughts and incidently stayed out of the masters lingeries drawns. It's all queensize anyway, sugar. He may be old but he still likes the feel of silky danties on his bronzed old fleshy parts now and again.)
Semi-young actress: Jennifer Aniston
Hollywood producer: Robert Evans
Wife of video co-star:

21. NY POST 12/14
--WHICH pierced pop tart was spotted performing a sex act on her bad-boy rocker beau in the bathroom of Suede nightclub? Pink and Tommy Lee

--WHICH R&B romeo has such a compulsion for cleanliness that he gets regular colonic treatments? Usher

--WHICH moneybags ad agency guru has been two-timing his new bride with a fetching former flame?
Ad guru: Charles Saatchi
New bride: Nigella Lawson
Fetching former flame:

22. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/15
--WHICH hunky Broadway leading man is having an affair with his pretty 27-year-old assistant? Don't tell his wife . . . John Stamos

--WHICH of Broadway's most demanding divas has gone through 20 dresses already? The wardrobe departrment is up in arms . . . Tovah Feldshuh; Ashley Judd

--WHICH mother of a famous screen actress had a tumultuous romantic fling with an actor whose off-Broadway show just closed? It's okay - she's a widow. Blythe Danner (mother of Gwyneth Paltrow)

23. Filth2Go...12/15
Could it be that a certain up-and-coming wannabe is majorly pissed off at being passed over? So say his pals, who tell me that they had to endure hours of whining when he learned that what he had hoped would be his big international break would be going to his predecessors. “Do you know how much dick I had to suck to get this gig in the first place?” he complained to anyone who’d listen. I’ll listen to ya, honey – especially to all of those details. And then maybe you can tell me all about how you screwed your own idol to get a gig. What goes around, bitch. Ryan Seacrest

24. GLOBE 12/16
This beautiful actress, who recently split with her longtime boyfriend, has fallen madly in love...with another woman! Souces say she's now "happier than she's ever been" and vows she'll never get involved with a man again because, "They're way too selfish."Drew Barrymore/Fabrizio Moretti

25. Filth2Go...12/22
Could it be that two of our reality stars have been getting a bit chummy? These two lovely lads decided to ditch the rest of us after The Real Deal and raced back to one of the fellas’ waterfront abode to spend a bit of time à deux. While I’m told that no hanky panky took place, neither one of these boys is known for spilling the beans – there are some secrets only their hairdressers know for sure. Being single clearly has its advantages. Even if you lose at love, sometimes you still end up a winner.

26. GLOBE 12/23
This handsome big-screen star dumped his gorgeous model-galpal and has been secretly carrying on with a sleazy hooker he picked up at a dive bar. He's set her up in an apartment near his posh Hollywood home and usually meets her there late at night because he's too embarrassed to be seen with her in public and fears that if word leaks out, it could ruin his career.
Leonard DiCaprio; George Clooney

27. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/25
--WHICH supermodel on the Victoria's Secret runway has cellulite and a flabby bottom? Admirers say at least she tries to slim her butt the natural way by working out rather than liposuction, the route taken by many of her colleagues. Tyra Banks

--WHICH overweight TV star still can't control her eating despite undergoing gastric-bypass surgery? Due to her smaller stomach, overeating leads to regurgitation. Star Jones

28. NY POST/PAGE SIX....12/29
WHICH pop star and his comely actress friend took a walk on the wild side recently with a recently married actress? The trio had a threesome, but the singer got annoyed when his girlfriend and the married woman ignored him in the sack to focus on each other.

29. GLOBE 12/30
Fans of this macho - and married - daytime star would be shocked to discover he's having a torrid romance with another man. The two regularly fly to a secret hideaway in Amsterdam for their trysts. The actor's "Mister-ess" is so into him, he even had a portrait of the hunk tattooed on his arm.
Eric Braeden (Victor, Y&R)

30. NY POST/PAGE SIX 12/31
--WHICH silicone-enhanced celebrity has a nasty crystal-meth habit? After a glitzy party several weeks ago, she went to her favorite transsexuals' den of iniquity downtown and snorted crank all night long.
Anna Nicole Smith

--WHICH dashing Democratic presidential candidate used to be infamous for trying to steal other guys' girlfriends? The lusty lawmaker had a habit of doggedly pursuing attractive young women after meeting them at D.C. dinner parties even if they were already spoken for. John Kerry

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Last updated: September 24, 2004

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