July and August 2001

To have blind item guess considered send it to: agcblinditems
or post to agcblinditems

This ridiculously self-enchanted diva's last few films were all duds, but she's still as demanding as ever. On her last film, she insisted that her tailor-made wardrobe be scapped in favor of expensive outfits from her favorite designer. The designer was not willing to donate any of the numerous gowns and suits the star requested, so the producers had to pick up the tab, which was more than $100,000. Not only did the actress not mind that she was causing the production an unnecessary expense, but when the cameras stopped rolling, the costly clothers were nowhere to be found.  Jennifer Lopez

That finicky, high maintenance star pissed off a studio big time when she was doing press for her latest just OK movie. It seems the testy miss has developed more germ phobias than Michael Jackson. Terrified, she's going to contract some communicable ailment, she ordered the stuido to equip her hotel suite with expensive air filtration units. She also developed a host of complicated strategies (including awkwardly holding a water bottle for hours) so she wouldn't have to shake the hands of those who interviewed her. She should worry less about germs and more about the bad rep she's developing.
Jennifer Lopez

3. STAR 07/03 #1
This upright leading man is one of the most admired in Hollywood, and he has a happy wife and kids. He's not the type to stray, but stray he did, on his just-finished movie. His leading lady on the faraway exotic location was the beautiful young daughter of another Hollywood legend. They had a sizzling setside affair throughout the film. It recently wrapped and the girl is devastated because her lover returned to his family as if nothing ever happened. He can only hope she'll keep her mouth shut.

4. STAR 07/03 #2
Which sweet swinging tennis star is having some boyfriend problems that are causing some serious personal turmoil? And, she is rumored to have recently had an abortion. Friends and family are concerned that the distractions of her love life are threatening to destroy her promising career.

5. GLOBE 07/03
This TV star is a fixture at LA strip joints and has spent a fortune on one of the young dancers, first sending her to rehab to kick her drug habit, then treating her to an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris and Spain with her girlfriends. Little Miss Nothing treats Mr Big Spender like garbage and constantly insults him in front of his friends, but he secretly loves every minute of it. Drew Carey

6. NY POST/PAGE SIX....07/06
--WHICH Brazilian model got ripped off by her own parents? First her father took most of her money to start a company which failed, then her mother grabbed the rest and ran off to open a hotel . . .

--WHICH financial tycoon just spent $100,000 on trees for his Southampton estate? The mogul wants to block out the view of the ugly McMansion being built next door . . .

--WHICH young TV hunk, who was engaged to a movie starlet until recently, is having a fling with a stripper at a midtown topless joint?

--WHICH "Sopranos" actor's body odor has gotten out of hand? While shooting one episode, a Bada Bing girl complained to a makeup artist that she couldn't stand the stench . . .

--WHICH allegedly straight-shooting leading man once had a fling with one of France's most famous, though none-too-handsome, allegedly hetero actors? . . .John Travolta and Gerard Depardieu

--WHICH switch-hitting star of stage and screen interrupted a hardcore bondage session at an underground LA gay bar? The recipient of the beating recognized him and called out his name mid-whipping. Alan Cumming

8. Filth2Go 07/09
Could it be that a certain pair of soap opera brothers have been getting mighty close on and off the set? That's the buzz from insiders at the daytime sudser, who tell me that initial jealousy and envy have turned to combustible lust. I hear that it all started in the dressing room of the brooding brunet after he made one too many cracks about the blond-enhanced newcomer. A fight ensued, and the oft-rumored-about blond pinned his rival (those years of high school wrestling surely helped - to say nothing of his contentious romance with another guy in this very column). With the snake on top of the spitfire, there was nothing to do but give into passion, and the clothes flew off mighty quickly. If it weren't for an errant script girl who let herself in while the boys were re-enacting the Kentucky Derby, no one on the set would have been the wiser. Although I think the matching hairdos might have given it away.  Jacob Young & Colton Scott on GENERAL HOSPITAL. The "contentious romance with another guy in this very column" of course refers to Chad Allen, with whom Jacob Young allegedly had a fling when he was on the Bold and the Beautiful

9. STAR 07/10  #1
This Hollywood legend wrote a book claiming that clean living, exercise and healthy eating made her the beauty she still is today. But when she showed up at a bookstore to promote her book, she was bombed out of her mind. Our gal arrived hours late and rolled out of the limo clutching a bottle. Her eyes were bloodshot and she reeked of booze. Shocked fans could smell it 'from the fourth row.' She slurred and made no sense as she tripped and fell onto strange men's laps. At one point, she leaned over to speak to someone and fell on her face! Finally, the bookstore people led her away.
Eartha Kitt; Liz Taylor; Joan Collins; Suzanne Somers; Marilu Henner

10. STAR 07/10 #2
This male costar of a Pacific Northwest based TV sitcom has tongues wagging over his lusty behavior on a business trip to New England -- with guys. When the curtain falls on his early evening job, he gets busy cruising gay bars for beefy dates. Sometimes his fishing expeditions are less than bountiful, so the macho man has taken to offering some of his hard earned television cash for special services. Promiscuous, I hear, would be an understatement for this guy.
Dan Butler, Bulldog or John Mahoney of 'Frasier'

11. GLOBE 07/10
This popular sitcom star, who's a real hit with the ladies, showed up a recent concert with a handsome young STUD. He looked totally disheveled -- hair dirty, clothes wrinkled, face unshaven. The moment he sat down in his VIP seat, he started snorting white powder and slamming down rum and Cokes. At times he'd nod off and his 'boyfriend' would wake him up. Patrons sitting nearby were shocked by his behavior, but Mr Oblivious didn't seem to care.
Alfred Molina from Ladies Man; Ashton Kutcher

Oy, I may have taken a vay-cay but sultriness in Hollywood certainly hasn't. Back from my retreat, and what's the foist thang I hear? That a certain Oscar winner made a well-known actress glisten and glow in the b-room of a big Tinseltown bash.

Heard this one before, but now it's coming to me from the peeps who were assigned to guard the door--during the A-list assignation, that is.

And if those moments of penetrating perspiration ain't enough, try this mushy missile on fer size: Same toilet lothario is also responsible for other messy mixups in town.

Humpy boy knows how to sweat around. Russell Crowe-Heather Graham

HINT 07/18
Dear Ted:
Just a wild stab in the dark, but is the toilet lothario Ben Affleck?
--As as good as your blind guess may be, it's wrong. The actor in question actually makes Mr. A. look like a monk, which, come to think of it, he actually does (without my glasses on, of course).

13. Filth2Go 07/16
Could it be that a certain former Bostonian was seen cavorting with some leather men? That's the buzz from onlookers at that hot L&L (levis and leather) club who told me that the funny man made a visit to the club's infamous backroom while in town doing a comedy gig. Most comedians would go completely unnoticed, but this hunky TV star was forced to take off his shirt to get into the promised land - and immediately caught the eyes of most of the patrons. Sources say that while there, he made quite a few new friends - and several of them went back with him to his hotel room. Now there's some news you won't hear on the radio. Joe Rogan. He was born in Boston and there's the clue "Now there's some news you won't hear on the radio" refers to his old show NewsRadio.

14. STAR 07/17 #1
This former teen star was selling his autographs and photos for $20 each at a recent celebrity moniker convention. He took a smoke break outside and started propositioning male collectors. he said he needed money and offered to pose nude for photos in his hotel room if someone would pay him $1500. He said:  "You know you can make money selling the pictures on the internet." After numerous turn downs, he apparently found a buyer and disappeared for over an hour. The next day he was back at the show making the same furtive offer.  Keep your eyes on the internet! Leif Garrett; Corey Haim; Corey Feldman

15. STAR 07/17 #2
This retired bad boy athlete had an unlucky Vegas weekend recently. He lost nearly $35,000 in two hours at the poolside blackjack tables at the Hard Rock Hotel. Worse, the security crew at Harrah's, where the gangly player stayed, raided his suite after a 14 year old girl claimed the dude took her to his room for sex. Our man wiggled out of it, though. He proved the precocious beauty missed her curfew and wrongly blamed it on the celeb because of is well-publicized propensity to party hardy with young 'uns. Dennis Rodman, the worm

16. GLOBE 07/17|
Which oft-married starlet from Hollywood's golden era of musical comedies still hits on young female dancers to make them her 'special' pals? The religious granny has never come out of the closet, but she has a long history of taking the gals under her wing....and covers. Recently, she came on so strong to a Midwestern dancer that the girl moved back to Kansas! Jane Russell **SEE STORY**

17. E! ONLINE....TED CASABLANCA.....07/18
Since I've gotcha thinkin' things babely and bedroom-ready, let's switch over to freewheeling Europe, where a certain American star has been busying himself with traveling 'n' tricking.

More than a few fans would be stunned to hear of this he-man's predisposition for being pleased by guys. And I don't mean good table service, my dears--I'm talkin' turn-down time. Know where I'm headed?

I'm sure you do, as the previous question was a rather tacky clue as to what this big box-office fellah likes to reward beautifully.

No wonder his servicers keep mum (mostly).

And let me just save a whole batch of inquisitive letters right up front--it's not who you think, 'kay?

HINT 08/02
Regarding your Blind Vice of July 19 about the freewheeling star in Europe, please don't tell me to go out and get a life. I am in my sixties and not in good health, so I don't have a lot of life. I have kids and grandbabies, and I'm a happy camper. However, I think about this guy the first thing when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. Call it a late-life crisis, second childhood, whatever. I have really liked this guy for about three years now. I think he is just sowing his wild celebrity oats. Don't blame him--he's entitled.

--It's not Ben Affleck, sweetheart (as the rest of your romance novella--which I unfortunately had to edit--clearly implied). Feel better? Think less hair, granny.

Which brazen actor, standing on line in an Aspen bank, dropped a packet of white powder while fishing his wallet out of his pocket? Noticing the stares of other customers, the grinning screen legend said: "It's my lunch." ...

19. Filth2Go.....07/23
#1. Could it be that a certain former boy band member is working overtime trying to get some attention for his solo career? With his new CD, TV appearances, and grueling tour, you'd think that he wouldn't have time for a social life. And you'd be wrong. During a free concert earlier this month in his hometown, the tousled tyke noticed three particularly attractive shirtless guys groovin' in the grass. Once the star-struck youths were escorted backstage by security, the singer quickly ascertained that all three were gay. What did our pop pup do? Offered to take them for a ride and ended up bringing all three boys home with him, natch. Maybe he was auditioning backup dancers, since they spent most of the night behind him. By the way, I'm told that he came late in the night - several times!
Joey McIntire of NKOTB (from Filth2Go 09/17 column: Could it be that the subject of a recent blind item is headed for the legitimate stage? Look for Joey McIntyre to join the cast of tick, tick…BOOM!, an off-Broadway show written by the late Jonathan Larson (of Rent fame). Joey’s first show will be on October 16th, but he is not the only familiar name to be associated with this production. Former brat packer Molly Ringwald will be in the show September 18th through October 14th.)

#2. Could it be that one of Billy's favorite punk princesses took a break from promoting her band's new single to attend a show by one of her favorite drag divas? I understand that the pixie-haired imp (who's newly single herself) had a ball watching the incomparable Jackie Beat in Hollywood. Because of her actions, onlookers were sure that the guitar gal was stoned, but she was just returning to her roots (which are starting to grow out). When Jax feigned ignorance and asked who she was, the gal piped up, "I'm a lesbian." Funny, I thought she had that lesbian habit licked, or at least beat. Actually, the more popular rumor is that the imp's drummer is the friend of Sappho.  Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Gos

20. STAR 07/24 #1
This sexy young singer loves to flaunt her stuff in revealing costumes. Her knockout body and risque wardrobe have made her the fantasy of many men. But under those teensy clothes, she's hiding a gigantic secret. She prefers gals to guys! Her managers flipped out when she wanted to come out of the closet and they persuaded her to keep her sexuality to herself. They even arranged for her to get a boyfriend - and he doesn't mind faking it because he's gay himself! Christina Aguilera

21. STAR 07/24 #2
Ticked off that LAPD cops didn't believe a female friend's claim that she was raped by a masseur in her hotel room, this basketball player got so angry that he sent a battery of his own gumshoes to investigate. Within days, they had new evidence, including that the masseur was involved in similar incidents. The bad guy is now in jail. The victim is preparing a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against the joint, the posh hotel and the careless LAPD. And the bald hoopster is her, and my, hero. Shaq

22. GLOBE 07/24
This 'happily married' comedian and father has his 'people' call ahead to the LA restaurants he takes his family to in order to find out who's working there that night. The reason? Over the years, he's bedded a slew of waitresses and given several something they'll never forget - herpes. Robin Williams

23. NY POST/PAGE SIX....07/25
--WHICH wild child daughter of a politico was smoking pot at an L.A. party? The hard-partying lass puffed right under the nose of the minders who try to keep her out of trouble . . . Jenna Bush

--WHICH opinionated actor made an appearance at an uptown AA meeting? Martin Sheen

--While we're on the subject, which recovering supermodel regularly attends an AA meeting on Perry Street? .
Naomi Campbell

--WHICH veteran actress appeared to be tipsy at a fund-raiser she hosted in the Hamptons? Her husky voice was fine, but her words were slurred. Lauren Bacall; Kathleen Turner

24. DANNY BONADUCE 07/26...thanks to Mktgjem
On Danny Bonaduce's radio show this morning, he got a phone call from a fellow rehab patient (I guess he is still in there). The guy on the phone was joking it up, as I guess they are not supposed to have access to phones and he thought he was really cool and funny. Danny referred to him as "Linus" but said he is a big action star with his own action figure. The guy talking on the phone did not sound too articulate and sounded black (getto/rap/jive style of talking), but also like he was trying to disguise his voice somewhat, so it could have been an act. Any guesses? Samuel Jackson

Celebrity has its privileges, that's a no-brainer. To fame finders come loads of free goodies (and free publicity).

Mucho valuable gifts can often include threads from top designers, cushy VIP treatment from the hottest establishments and access to whatever these celebs desire, no matter the time or place--including the stuff that turns your brains to mush, eventually.

(And that's just what the B-rated stars get, my dears.)

However, one young Hollywood top biller (whose career keeps exploding with every box-office receipt) may be enjoying these perks a tad too much. It seems the schtup-able stud frequents one Hell-Ay hang not just for the curvaceous eye candy but for the nose candy this joint so happily provides.

This guy hits this famous nightspot on a regular basis--but not even the panty-free chicks who parade for pay get his attention. No, it's what's behind the bare bar that bewitches him so.

But he's a good bad boy, that much I'm happy to report. Shares his schnoz stuff beautifully. Such a nice famous boy. Ben Affleck

26. STAR 07/31
This cute young TV guy is loved by teen girls, and the fact that he likes to "play the field" rather than have a steady girlfriend keeps the gals even more excited. The guy's TV character is a straight arrow youth, and he has an athletic and good looking dad. But in real life, the TV father and son only have eyes for each other! Setsiders are whispering that they have a love nest together in New York and they run off to be alone there every chance they get! James Van Der Beek & John Wesley Shipp

27. STAR 07/31 #2
This heartthrob, who is spending a good part of the summer shooting a big deal thriller in Canada has been showing up on the set as zonked out as Robert Downey Jr. on a bad day. Seems that the usually casual fella is hitting the  French Canadian drug scene like mad. In one nightclub, he and his cronies cleared everybody out of the men's room so they could get coked up out of sight.
Ben Affleck

28. GLOBE 07/31
This married, dark haired heartthrob and father of two is still making secret payments because of a fling he had with a 15 year old neighbor girl. He agreed to the huge settlement to keep the affair hush hush and prevent him from serving jail time. You'd think he would have learned his lesson, but he's still hooked on nubile teens and has such a reputation that his movie costars keep their daughters away from him.
Rob Lowe

29. MOVIELINE 08/01 **BLIND ITEM #1**
The handsome, sought-after star kept the cast and crew of his new movie project waiting well over two weeks while he 'recovered' from a minor accident that took place in his home. Here's what actually happened - it seems that the ruthless sex hound got himself smashed in the face (and several other tender places) by a furious, pumped-up boyfriend who found the actor doing a lot more than the backstroke in his very own swimming pool with his very own famous, notoriously unfairthful girlfriend.

30. MOVIELINE 08/01 **BLIND ITEM #2**
Everyone in town has the number of that young star with more va-va-voom than actual talent. Not only does she make no bones about her willingness to sleep her way to the top, but she's also notorious for being a sexaholic. She recently got so wasted at a Hollywood club that she loudly announced there wasn't a guy in the place worth having sex with, then phoned up a young, oh-so-serious Oscar nominee, who she was rumored to have already slept with, and asked him if she could come over. He said yes, even though he has a girlfriend who's more famous than he is, and the doll took off, obviously without a care about getting a DUI or STD.

#1. Sexcapades--Smooching the Stylist
"I was interviewing a very sexy actor at a photo shoot. He went on and on about how much he missed his girlfriend, who was filming a movie in London, but he was incredibly flirtatious with everyone on the set. We agreed to finish the interview over breakfast the next morning. I was waiting for him in the front of the restaurant when I spotted him walking up the street in the same clothes he had been wearing the night before. When he got a bit closer, I realized he was with the stylist from the shoot! I watched as he pushed her against a building and started kissing her. I rushed inside so he wouldn't see me. When he waltzed in a few minutes later, completely flushed he said, 'So where were we?' And I replied, annoyed, 'you were telling me how much you missed your girlfriend.' I could tell by the smirk on his face that he knew I'd seen what happened. Unfazed, he immediately resumed carrying on about how much he missed her." Brad Pitt when he was dating Gwyneth Paltrow (who filmed Sliding Doors in London); Benjamin Bratt; Billy Bob Thornton

#2. Interview with the Flasher
"I met an actor who was regarded in the biz as a gentleman. When I arrived at his trailor on the Warner Bros. lot, he was sitting on a couch wearing shorts and no shirt. I sat down and was about to begin the interview when I realized that what I had thought was a pari of shorts was actually a towel wrapped around his waist. Then, to my horror, he opened his legs-revealing that he was completely naked under the towel! I was mortified but managed to maintain my composure and finish the interview. On my way out, I noticed the hair and makeup people giggling. I stopped and asked, 'Does he do this all the time?' They said he's notorious for flashing women." Sean Connery

#3. Touchy Tough Guy
"I real macho action star I was interviewing kept looking at my chest saying, 'Thirty-four D, right? I'm always right about these things.' I tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't stop asking. Finally, he walked over to me, grabbed both my breasts, and rubbed them. Completely disgusted, I slapped his hands away. If that wasn't bad enough, he then turned to me and said, 'Yeah, 34 D, but I bet they sag.'" Arnold Schwarzenegger

#4. Two-Timing Tonguer
"I went to the hotel room of a married actor who had a reputation for being a philanderer. He waved off the rumors of infidelity and spent most of the interview talking about how much his wife meant to him. He even asked me if I wanted to join then two of them for dinner at the hotel restaurant. But as soon as we got in the elevator to go meet her, he grabbed me and shoved his tongue in my mouth. Luckily, he stopped when the door opened because his wife was standing right there. He took her arm, led us into the dining room, and acted as if nothing had happened."

#5. Backstabbing Bulimic
"I was having lunch in a hotel room with an actress whose work I really admired. She ordered a chicken sandwich and wolfed it down. I was secretly relived-a lot of actresses I interview don't eat at all. We talked for about half an hour, and then she went to the bathroom...where she remained for almost 45 minutes. When she came out, her face was red and her hair was wet from perspiration. When I asked if she was all right, she broke down and confided in me about her bulimia. I spent hours consoling her and tried to convince her to get help. Yet after I left, she called my editor and told her that I was unprofessional and she wanted another writer for the story."

#6. Drunk Dishing
"This actor was a big name even though his movies weren't really successful. I went to his house to interview him. It was only 10AM, but he broke out a bottle of Tequila. He sat there for three hours, sipping away until the bottle was empty. By the end of the interview, he was staggering around the house, and he even puked on my shoes when he showed me out." Richard Grieco

#7. Drug Raid
"I was interviewing a young actor who was constantly denying to the press that he had a drug problem. Soon after he arrived at my hotel room, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. I heard something fall and asked if everything was okay. When he came out, he explained that he had knocked my hairbrush onto the floor. After he left, I went in and found my bottle of Vicodin-painkillers that I was prescribed to cope with a car accident injury-behind the toilet. There were about 30 pills missing." Lukas Haas

#8. Sleeping Beauty
"A young model was so stoned when I interviewed her that she literally fell asleep while we were talking. I sat there for what seemed like hours until she bolted upright and resumed the conversation. Half an hour later, she fell asleep again, at which point I left. She called me the next day and tried to convince me she was narcoleptic."

#9. Model Panty Party
"While I was interviewing a supermodel at her house, she asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her, I accepted thinking it would be a good story, but I wasn't dressed for a night out. She offered to lend me some clothes, and we went upstairs to her bedroom, where she started throwing gorgeous clothes on the bed. 'Go on,' she said, 'try them one.' I looked for a private place to change, but she was so casual that I finally pulled off my tee shirt and pants and started trying things on. She started trying on clothes too. I was admiring a Dolce & Cabbana top in the mirror when I noticed she was laying on the bed in just her panties. She smiled at me and motioned for me to join her. My first thought was.....There are a million men in the world who would kill for this opportunity, but I was so freaked out that I pulled on my jeans and left. She never called to get the shirt back." Iman

#10. Both-Ways Babe
"There had been rumors that this high profile actress was gay, but she had always denied it. She invited me over to her house, and about an hour into the interview, this gorgeous woman walked in. The actress kissed her on the mouth, and then the woman walked outside to the pool, took off all her clothes, and lay down on a lounge chair. The actress turned to me and said, 'If you dare print any of this, I will ruin your life. I'll get all my friends to boycott you, and you'll never work in this town again.' The magazine I was writing for would never have outed her, but I was really offended be her threats. We finished the interview, and I left. When I got home, a huge bouquet was delivered to me from her. I never wrote about the girlfriend." Nicole Kidman; Helen Hunt

Okay, so people are complaining that I only hint about the boys who like boys. Not enough girl-girl ac-shun to be had for these horny hellraisers, it seems.

Got it.

There's an incredibly attractive boob-tube star who's not exactly shy around the ladies--at least that's what more than a few of the softer sex have reported to moi.

Seen it myself, actually. The good-lookin' lass lassoes 'em, you might say.

Who is she? Hmmm. Here's a hint: She's just as good in the kitchen as she is on her celebrated series. Think your noggins (and nostrils) are up to the detective work?

I don't doubt it. (Warning: It's not your first guess.) Courtney Cox; Kim Cattrall

33. Filth2Go 08/06
#1. Could it be that a certain bunch o' boys currently touring are having a bit of dissension in the ranks? It all started when one member complained about the elaborate sets and choreography. Then another had problems making his quick changes. At a group meeting, the two issues were raised, and tensions flared. One member suggested that the person who complained about the choreography wasn't working hard enough, while another said that perhaps the quick changes would go quicker if that warbler "weren't so fat". Where did that leave the fifth boy? Stuck between several men - and not the way he usually likes it (although he's still linked with boy number three). N 'Sync
Complainer about sets and choreography: Chris
Problems with quick changes: Joey
One sick of complainers: JC
One sick of quick changer: Justin
Fifth boy/linked to other member: Lance
linked to JC

#2. Could it be that a certain girl group are having their own set of problems on the road? Things started off well with the gals having fun, working hard, and promoting their new CD. Then the old rivalries came into play when the press started passing them over in favor of their zaftig lead singer. Things almost came to blows at a recent concert when the band was introduced as Lead Singer and The Band (fill in the names). Their on-stage interaction was chilly at best. It got downright frosty at a subsequent "Meet and Greet", when one fan showed up with that nudie magazine for the singer to sign. The drummer grabbed it to have a look at the photos, laughed, and said, "Whoever retouched these should get the Nobel Prize!" Go-Gos

34. STAR 8/7 #1
This actress is a big spender and never denies herself anything - regardless of her financial status. Recently, she claimed she was robbed of some very valuable items and filed a hefty insurance claim. But insiders say she FAKED the robbery and pawned her stuff! They say she needed a bundle of cash right away because she's embroiled in so many lawsuits and has to pay her lawyers. Will she get away with it? Maybe not, if the insurance company does some research and discovers it's not the first time. Courtney Love; Sharon Stone

35. STAR 08/07 #2
This action flick hero, whose legendary philandering led him to put his political aspirations on the back burner, must have the weirdest mating call in all of creation. Our man, who made a name for himself playing military type roles, has been known to cruise parties, telling potential playmates: "I need my helmet polished." With that signal, the lucky gal gets to follow our star to the back for some hanky panky. Arnold Schwartzenegger

36. GLOBE 08/07
This married funnyman and devoted dad has a secret fetish - he loves getting spanked by younger men. He has a regular guy whom he pays to paddle him twice a week when he's home in LA and buzzes an escort service when he's out of town. The kinky comic dresses up in different disguises and has his hunky companions meet him at a cheesy motel for his secret sessions. Eddie Murphy; Tim Allen

37. NY POST/PAGE SIX...08/07
--WHICH movie mogul lost his much-younger wife when she decided to remodel their house? The wife fell for the carpenter, who started nailing the former actress, and now the couple is officially split . . . Meg Tilly and John Calley

--WHICH former U.S. Senator, who made headlines internationally, has become a grandfather the new-fashioned way? His lesbian daughter and her live-in lover are adding an infant to their testosterone-free household . . . Bob Dole; George Mitchell

--WHICH vengeful teenage socialite tried to get a certain young man in trouble by charging a $2,000 Louis Vuitton purse at Saks Fifth Avenue to the account of his wealthy parents? One of the Hilton sisters

38. TED CASABLANCA...08/09
Powerful offices lead to powers of example.

Which U.S. president (current or past, I'll let you guess) and his woebegotten family are inspiring peacekeepers in his home state to ignore the law?

When a local chick was questioned by police near the president's home base about breaking certain small-time ordinances, the uniform-wearer in this country-bumpkin locale decided not to write up the babe.

"Hell," the good ol' boy complained, "if the President lets his family do it, I'm not gonna punish her."

Free as a mockingbird, off went the pretty lawbreaker went.

Be sure and get the accent right, puddin's. George W. Bush\

--There's the strip-joint loving, hard-partying, big-to-little screen heartthrob who regularly drinks himself into a stupor.

--There's the recently married hunk whose pot habit and personal hygiene are so bad that co-workers complained about his odor. (A source on the set of one of his films told me that it was written into his contract that he had to bathe more regularly.) Brad Pitt

--There's the hot, talented singer who is so strung out on heroine that she has to be propped on stage whenever she receives an award. Macy Gray

--There's the star who seems addicted to her less-famous sweetie and the stuff he's been on for years. (Actually, that description fits about three couples I can think of.) Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown

--There's the bisexual teen idol whose appetite for every substance controlled or uncontrolled is threatening to wreck his looks and his career.

--A friend went to a party at a world famous rock star/actor's house. Everyone -- including the rocker -- was drinking and using drugs. The star was aggressively hitting on women, including my friend, who's a babe. No one dared deflect his advances. But what he was clearly getting the biggest high from was the ego gratification. He was playing a tape of his latest jam session. The performance was, my friend says, "OK." My friend tends to be generous. "Listen to this part," he kept telling the crowd. "Here, my voice really rocks in this part. Listen." Everyone applauded and cheered, no matter how bad it was. "You're the best!" They were telling him. "Man, you can do no wrong." Russell Crowe

40. Filth2Go...08/13
Could it be that a certain up-and-coming actor has something he's been hiding in his closet? Yeah - a casting couch. In the course of his short career, the young statesman let a certain writer score a home run in order to be cast as the lead in his short-lived TV series. Of course, the writer in question has a lot of experience with virgins. Little did he know that the young lad was most definitely family and certainly no Boy Scout. Guess all of that experience in his high school musicals taught the actor a thing or two (and if he had a hammer, he'd hammer in the morning).
Mark Famiglietti

41. STAR 08/14....#1
This macho actor's divorce won't be final until the end of summer, but his estranged wife has already resumed her former career -- topless dancing, with a little prostitution on the side. She's gyrating at a sleazy strip bar near LAX, but it's her after hours antics that are getting her in trouble. Her landlord is threatening to kick her out because there are so many men coming and going from her place.

42. STAR 08/14 #2
This 40 something blonde model who was once married to a high kicking action flick star is pining for much younger men - and I mean much younger than that 20 something hard body with whom she liked having sex with in a bathroom, with her children hanging out next door. Pubescent teenage boys are what she now fancies. The Mrs. Robinson wannabe even resorted to hitting on her daughter's high school pals. She's had no luck - so far. And it's not from lack of trying.
David Carradine

43. GLOBE 08/14
This happily married superstar with a roving eye for the ladies has pre-arranged trysts with high priced call girls almost every day. They show up at his LA estate at 4pm for a little afternoon delight and his faithful wife turns a blind eye and lets him have his playtime. She doesn't want to lose her status as "Mrs Hollywood Legend." Warren Beatty

1.  What young socialite had a thing with that female "photographer" and a German shepherd? (If you've got the balls, she's got the space.)
Paris or Nikki Hilton

2.   What substance-challenged model has a child who was generously fathered by her uncle?

3.  What downtown legend was lusted after by a lesbian who didn't pursue it because she decided said legend is a trannie and might not get moist between her legs? (But she's not a trannie, I swear, and gets even wetter than a hurricane.) Grace Jones

4.  What moralistic figure is a trannie? (Well, he likes to dress up in drag for sex flings with women?) Jerry Falwell; Rush Limbaugh; Orin Hatch; John Fund; Al Sharpton

5.  What married club owner is dating someone I know, and I'll slap him senseless if he breaks her little heart (not to mention that of his wife)? Rande Gerber

6. What famous brother got a blowjob at a peep show in Arizona—from a guy? Roger Clinton; Stephen Baldwin

8.  What superstar pulls her face together with lots of tape rather than get surgery, which, you know, would hurt? Bette Midler; Barbra Streisand; Martha Stewart

9.  What other superstar has scars all over her noggin because she's already been lifted more than once, thank you?

11. What gay director married that big-time sapphic sister he's worked with? Spike Jonze/Sofia Coppola

12. What rowdy matinee idol danced at a club with a girl who impulsively handed him a beer bottle that he promptly shoved up her privates?

13. What series star let his child pee in the big Central Park fountain when nobody was looking? Now do you know why I don't drink out of the Central Park fountain? David Duchovny

BECAUSE life in the Washington press corps is not all that glamorous - especially in the post-Clinton era - the ink-stained wretches truly love the hit TV show "The West Wing" for making them look interesting.

So in love, I'm told, that a prominent female columnist is having a hot and heavy affair with one of the program's principals. He's married, and his wife is taking a dim view of the whole situation. Maureen Dowd/Rob Lowe; Lawrence O'Donnell/Ariana Huffington; Maureen Dowd/Aaron Sorkin

It's story time. Here's a tawdry tale fer all my little dirt devotees. You may need a wash 'n' rinse yerself after this raunchy rift.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young lady who aspired to be an actor on the silver screen. She also fancied the foxy frat boys at a nearby college campus.

The gorgeous gal would spend quality time with the collegiate cuties--each and every one of 'em, to be exact. The vampy vixen enjoyed performing in front of the brawny boys, if you catch my kank-ee drift.

A few years (and many a man) later, this big easy becomes a small-screen sweetie playing quite the opposite koinda role. Her angelic character--and adoring fans--would be appalled by her quondam kinks.

I bet our gutsy gal hopes the brotherhood pledged to keep their celeb sweetheart within the family, doncha agree? Donna Douglas, born and bred in the bayous of Louisiana, locally rumoured pet of the LSU Tigers, in the mid 50's, reincarnated as virginal Elly Mae on Beverly Hillbillies in the 60's, now a born-again Christian

HINT 08/23
Dear Ted: Your Blind Vice for last week just has to be Renée Zellweger. I know she's a Texas ex, and there's a huge Greek community here. Am I right?
--Baby, you're right as Hell-Ay rain--as in, warm but rather off. Think on a smaller scale than your home state, and you just might get the homey pic.

HINT 08/30
Dear Ted: I usually love your column, but I was disturbed by your August 16 Blind Vice. You were right in hinting that the fraternity boys would stick together in their version of the story, but there's a better than average chance that the ordeal you described was actually a gang rape, or as they like to call it in the Greek world, a train. Really, Ted. Please tell me that issues such as this are part of your off-limits list. In case you don't know already: Never trust a frat rat.
--I was never implying rape was part of the perky star's past. Wouldn't have made it a Blind Vice, were that the case, so you're right on that score.

47. NY POST/PAGE SIX...08/19
--WHICH fiery journalist who lost his radio job also lost his newspaper job? His claim that he was the victim of sexual harassment by a female supervisor is in arbitration . . .

--WHICH bisexual funnyman was reprimanded by network brass for photographing handsome young men on the roof of his show's studio? Andy Dick

48. Filth2Go....08/20
Could it be that a certain television legend is deathly ill? That's the buzz coming out to me from that familiar zip code that I call my adopted home. While no one's talking "life threatening", the word is that he's so bad off that his wife and daughter have put a hold on all plastic surgery procedures for the time being - and you know that's a HUGE sacrifice! I guess this concern doesn't spill over to that ungrateful (and unattractive) son, who's been out carousing - and drinking. When one of his former girlfriends heard of his arrest for drunk driving, she laughed and told me, "Maybe if I was drinking, we'd still be going out!" OUCH! Aaron Spelling

49. STAR 08/21 #1
Cocaine is definitely back in fashion in Hollywood, and you never know where you'll find it! Our favorite celebrity-snorting-coke spotting of late was a glimpse of a handsome young -- and VERY popular -- male star sniffing coke at the top of a ferris wheel. (One way to keep it all to yourself!) But we had to laugh at another sighting. A sweet blonde cutie, whose career is hot these days, was seen snorting coke off a toilet seat! That's what we call desperate!
MALE STAR: Heath Ledger
Kate Hudson; Tara Reid

50. STAR 08/21 #2
This retired world champ hoopster found his recent stint in a soul music video so boring that he had the producers call for a hooker. He didn't ask that she be beautiful or tall or buxom. Nope. Just that she be pure -- meaning of the same religion as him. After an extensive search, a sultry beauty finally materialized. She was welcomed like the pizza man after a hunger strike: Our Lothario was threatening to leave before she turned up. In the end, he liked what he saw and got down to business.
 Kareem Adul-Jabaar

51. GLOBE 08/21
This Oscar winning actor was recently asked to forfeit his membership at a trendy Hollywood gym. Why? Seems several people complained after they spotted Mr. Superstar openly pleasuring himself in the men's locker room. Kevin Spacey

52. NY POST/PAGE SIX...08/22
--WHICH hot young Hollywood actress did the wild thing with a record company exec's wife in an L.A. hotel room? The obliging adulteress never fools around without asking her husband's permission first, which he gave when she called from the lovers' lair . . .

--WHICH aging bad boy actor has some strange sexual habits? He insists that his beautiful, much younger girlfriend bleach her most private of parts. Jack Nicholson

Strife, too, plagues this community--especially the romantic kind.

A recent breakup you may recall involved two famous artists--one an actress, one a guy who's accomplished in another creative endeavor. Hot, hot, hot were the vibes from this openly sexual duo. Tonguing in the street, heaven knows what else off the pavement.

The prob, however, turned out to be that the guy in this cute couple liked to get kinky not just with his g-f, but with a dude or two, as well--just to keep things interesting.

Hey, you don't have to convince moi the guy thang can be intriguing. Bothered her, though. Can't say I blame the babe. Shouldn't sneak around like that, mister. Very bad habit.

Well, bark, bark, bark goes yet another dog--i.e., dude (same difference). When will my sex ever learn, is what I want to know. Carson Daly and Tara Reid

54. Filth2Go...08/27
Carlos in Miami asks: I never get your blind items. Could you write one easy enough for me to guess?

I'll give it a try:

Could it be that a certain star of stage, screen and the occasional rest area has learned the hard way that fame is a bitch? After work one night, our award-winner was taking a leisurely moonlit stroll through the cruisy area of that centrally-located park when he looked into the bushes and noticed an incredibly hot Latino boy (see Carlos? I picked this one especially for you!). Our rotund Romeo followed the hot and spicy boy into the iron weeds and dropped to his knees faster than the ratings of his former TV show. Things were going well until the stud recognized the top of the catty cad's head (probably recognized it from sitting high in the balcony). He gasped, the actor gagged, the mood was broken, and that, dear Carlos, is all she wrote. Nathan Lane

55. STAR 08/28 **BLIND ITEM #1**
This hip young couple, an equally famous actor and actress, have dated for a few years, and now they're planning on getting married. But he's hiding a kinky little secret - he's carrying on with a hooker! He has a foot fetish and, while he adores his pretty fiancee, he's turned off by her not-so-perfect feet. Every few months he hooks up with the working girl and worships her tooties.  He never wants sex and gets his jollies by sucking her toes and massaging her arches. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.; David Boreanaz and Jaime Bergman

56. STAR 08/28 **BLIND ITEM #2**
This oversexed hard rocker, divorced from a sultry small-screen siren, can't get enough horizontal exercise these days, despite getting plenty of action from hookers and groupies. The greedy musician has taken to cruising internet chat rooms and rock-related message boards for even more dates. The young ladies usually don't believe he is who he claims to be until he floods their e-mail with pictures of himself - buck naked and hot 'n' bothered. From what I hear, he IS something to write home about. Tommy Lee

57. GLOBE 08/28 **BLIND ITEM**
This handsome actor, who owns a magnificient island retreat, is hiding a BIG secret from his longtime devoted wife. Whenever the little lady is away on business, he lets his hair down and invites local boys over to his house for all-night partying and moonlit hanky-panky! "He's always telling the guys to send over their good-looking friends, too," adds my spy. "The more the merrier!" John Travolta

As with most tight-knit circles, Hollywood heavies are no strangers to getting it on with their own (rarefied) kind.

Take an A-list actor who has received considerable kudos for his wacky and right-on supporting-character performances--less so his politics. A male bud of this partick dude asked his Oscar-nominated pal to fix him up with an Academy Award-type actress with whom the star pretends friendship.

"Oh, let me fix you up with somebody else," he offered, "because she is such a bitch!"

Well, let's just say that fans and admirers of this pixie-ish pretty lady would be most surprised to hear that unflattering information. Besides, look who's talking--this is a man who eats directors (and costars) for a living! James Woods

HINT 09/06
Dear Ted: I've solved last week's blind item: The "A-list actor who eats people for a living" is Sir Anthony Hopkins (obviously). His "pixieish" gal pal who's a real-life bitch is Julia Roberts (aka Tinkerbell). Elementary, mon cher Ted!) The "partick dude" who's on the make for female companionship? Could it be that Sir Tony's pal President Bubba has been lusting in his heart (and buying bikinis in Rio) for a Pretty Woman? What do I win?
--You folks are just off this week. Wrong, wrong, wrong. That cannibalistic clue was what's known in my biz as a trap--think more along the lines of sicko sidekick, and you'll be set free. (And I have no comment whatsoever, for a change, on your presidential inference--other than you're wrong there, too.)