November and December 2000

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This lovely young lass is apparently sick to death of her lovely young image - and so is everybody else. Somehow she thinks that turning up regularly at raunchy clubs, sporting leather, chain-smoking, mouthing obscenities and doing some serious partying will help make Industry folk look at her differently. Problem is, she still comes off as a debutante trying to act naughty. Plus, her wicked ways are doing such serious damage to her once-dewy looks and toned body that she's not getting hired anyway.
Melissa Joan Hart, Britney Spears

One of Hollywood's randiest, most self-enchanted and stridently hetero actors got permanently barred from partonizing a very exclusive L.A. day spa. Why? Well, he apparently came on too aggressively to one of the establishment's masseurs (for those unfamiliar with spa terminology, that's a male masseuse). Not to worry, though. The award-winning star simply drove to one of the spa's other local branches where he found a masseur perfectly willing to rub him the right way. In fact, the masseur now makes regular house calls to the guy's pad, sparing him all that bother.
Warren Beatty; Kevin Spacey; Jack Nicholson, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise

3. Spin Magazine 11/00
--Which rocker-turned-thespian's bid for a starring role in a potential box office smash was foiled by a bad screen test? A urine screen. Jon Bon Jovi; Courtney Love , John Carpenter movie

--Guest's of L.A.'s famed Sunset Marquis hotel were probably wondering why the hell Sheryl Crow was so sad when they spotted her drinkin' and cryin' during an early August stay. We hear Crow caught actor/boyfriend Owen (Shanghai Noon) Wilson in the clutches of a well known starlet. Gina Gershon

4. NY POST/PAGE SIX...11/05
--WHICH teen heartthrob who recently drank his way through Midtown invited a fan back to his hotel room to shoot a kinky video? When she declined, he attempted to persuade her by showing her his past footage . . . Leonard DiCaprio; A.J. of BSB

--WHICH hunky actor on a TV series - who plays a straight man but isn't - is so proud of his privates, he enjoys flirtatiously flashing other like-minded men? . . .
Kevin Sorbo; John Barrowman of "Titans"; William Campbell

--WHICH hip-hop mogul had a torrid fling with a top model, then told his posse she was abysmal in bed? Sean "Puffy" Combs; Russell Simmons

5. Filth2Go...11/06
(I wasn't even going to bother with this, but maybe there's some porn watchers who might want to guess...)

Could it be that a certain former porn hottie has hit on hard times in his quest for spiritual enlightenment? How else to explain his latest gig - fry girl at his local Burger King? My sources say that the fraternal hunk tried to redeem himself with penance and prayer. Then, when he found himself between a rock and a hard place, he tried to pay his rent by redeeming empty bottles. Now, at the end of his rope, he's taken a minimum-wage job at the fast-food eatery. Almost worth a trip to Colorado Springs to "have it my way"! I'd go to check out this story personally, but I'm a bit busy. Maybe sometime in 2001.  Hal Rockland

6. STAR....11/07
This actress was crushed when her macho movie star lover dumped her. Although they had planned to wed, he abruptly called it off when he fell in love with an exotic beauty. She was so scarred by his actions that she decided to give up guys and become a lesbian! She's had a few casual female flings in the past, but never considered herself gay. Her friends are amused because now she's involved with a female who's a dead ringer for her former boyfriend.
Billy Bob Thornton; Laura Dern
James Woods
; Melissa Crider
George Clooney; Celine Balitran
Johnny Depp; Kate Moss
Ed Norton (new exotic beauty: Salma Hayek); Courtney Love

7. GLOBE...11/07
If this hot movie hunk claims he just 'adores' his wife, then why was he spotted with a mysterious, much-younger gal at a secluded hotel in Iowa? As they left their table, they 'pretended' to be brother and sister, but spent several hours upstairs holed up in a room. Afterward, this 'devoted' hubby left the hotel and headed back to unsuspecting wifey.

This beauty recently split from her rock-star husband. Now, she's laughing her way to the bank thanks not only to her settlement but to several mega-rich and mega-generous suitors. She's told friends that her revenge is living a more opulent lifestyle than she did when she was with her "tightwad" ex.  Rachel Hunter; Jerry Hall

9. NY POST/PAGE SIX...11/10
WHICH comic actor indulged in a coke-fest with three buxom babes at a private dining room on Martha's Vineyard? The funnyman, who has lost some contemporaries to drug overdoses, was spotted at the same restaurant the week before with his wife and two children . . .
Robin Willians; Denis Leary; Chevy Chase

WHICH elderly composer and his spouse of the same circa raised eyebrows at the recent Carousel of Hope Ball because they were sporting his-and-her facelifts?
Burt Bacharach

WHICH singer/actress is looking for a new manager? The rocker says she'll miss the old one: "I liked the way he carries my bags".  Cher

10. Filth2Go...11/13
Could it be that a fraternal (there's that word again) popster is going solo? Nope, he's not leaving his band-mates, but he has suddenly parted ways with his female companion. While both camps are saying that the separation was mutual, my sources paint a totally different story. I hear that his lady friend got tired of catching her beau in the act with beaus of his own! Each time this occurred, I'm told that the blond (yeah, right) singer apologized profusely, saying that it was just a one-shot deal. But when she caught him in the midst of "making puppies" (let's just say that his garçon de la nuit had "all access"), that was too much for her, and she bolted, swearing that she'd get another boyfriend. It would have been so much easier just having this one neutered (or spayed)! Either way, he'd only have a few black and blues. Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys

11. STAR ...11/14
Three's definitely NOT a crowd for this beloved A-List Hollywood couple. After years of togetherness, their sex life is still thrilling because they spice it up by inviting others into their bedroom. They're both open minded so they alternate. Sometimes they're joined by a man and sometimes a woman. They don't want a third party disrupting their happiness, so they never share their bed with the same person twice. It's worked so far, but one of their one night stands felt rejected and she's blabbing their kinky secret around town. Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell; Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins

12 GLOBE....11/14
This former TV teen idol is so addicted to crack that worried members of his ex-sitcom family tried an intervention. But it was a complete bust. Now they're pulling strings to rush him into drug rehab before he kills himself, dangling plum guest roles in their current shows and movies as bait. But he's told them to "go @#!$" themselves. I hope this talented young actor wises up...before it's too late.

13. From the British tabloid, The Mirror...11/18
Which normally super fit pop star has developed some less than healthy habits? She now downs the booze like it's going out of fashion. And, these days, when it comes to class A drugs her policy is: Just say yes. Sporty Spice

14. STAR 11/21
She's a TV personality who won't admit she's a lesbian, but everyone in Hollywood knows she's gay. What's shocking is that she's having a high-risk affair with a married female pop star! They dated years before they both became famous, and not long ago they ran into each other and the spark rekindled in a big way. But there's trouble in paradise. The singer offered to divorce her husband -- ONLY if Ms TV star comes out of the closet!
Rosie O'Donnell/Gloria Estafan; Oprah/Whitney Houston

15.  GLOBE 11/21
This former TV cop carries a picture of his wife and baby to prove to bedroom conquests on the road that he's really a nice guy who's giving in to temptation just this once -- with her! The stud tells ALL the star-struck gals he sleeps with the same story, "If you weren't so beautiful and sexy, I could have resisted." Usually, the girls swoon and don't make a fuss when the "family man" moves on to his next seduction. And one gal even told GLOBE, "He's so nice that I felt guilty for tempting him and sleeping with him!" A-ma-zing!
Alan Autry ('Grace Under Fire'; 'Heat of the Night'); Erik Estrada

16. Filth2Go...11/21
Could it be that a certain television heartthrob is using just a wee bit too much of that illegal substance (one that isn't measured in grams)? So say my sources on the set of his popular hump day show, who suspect that this reefer madness is a means to dam the river of sexual urges he's feeling for members of the same sex. Although he's worked hard to maintain a public hetero façade, that's about as real as his hair color! His "people" dialed 911 and urged him to preserve the jock image they've tried to create with his film roles. That meant our hero had to stop leering like a Cheshire cat at every hot boy who walked by, as well as discontinuing his habit of singing complete scores to Broadway musicals with pals. Now he professes to not remember a single lyric. Once the pot is calling the kettle black, the memory is the first to go. James Van Der Beek

She was a bubbly singer and her beau had a leading role on a TV sitcom when this handsome pair got engaged. Problem was, she found herself in a family way before the big wedding and wasn't quite ready to sideline her blossoming career. He, on the other hand, was thrilled. She chose to have an abortion (despite boyfriend's protests and strong religious beliefs) and the couple was kaput. The epilogue? Her career cooled anyway...and he went on to have a baby with his next girlfriend, less than two years after the split!  Mindy McCready/Dean Cain

18. Filth2Go....11/27
Could it be that a certain soap actor has been asked to butch it up? Or at least match his eyebrows with his hair color? That's the buzz about the pleasant blond actor who thinks that he's taking daytime by storm. What's closer to the truth is that he's given his castmates numerous opportunities to joke about the choirboy and his co-star "girlfriend". Once the whispers made their way to the brass, things began to look less like a soap and more like a Salem witch hunt as an edict was issued - calm down, Mary! Maybe he should just play the brooding solo type, since it works so well for his spirited co-star (who's been known to dip into the male gene pool once or twice, if ya know what I mean). One more clue? Our babe in the woods shares a birthday with Nana Masters (yeah, like that will help you).
Soap: Days of Our Lives
Blond actor: Kyle Lowder, who plays the new Brady Black
Spirited co-star: Kevin Spirtas, who plays Dr. Wesley

19. STAR....11/28
These two Hollywood beauties were running buddies and the best of pals -- but not anymore. What happened? Well, the famous model thought she was going crazy when everything from prescription medicine to expensive trinkets started disappearing from her home. She got quite a jolt when she paid an unannounced visit to her actress pal's home and stumbled across many of her missing items stashed away in a bathroom drawer! Her pal begged forgiveness, and blamed it on a mental disorder, but the once sisterly friendship is forever altered.
Rachel Hunter and Lauren Holly

20. GLOBE.....11/28
This popular male sex symbol hired a married couple to babysit his kids, but what his unsuspecting wife doesn't know is that Mr. Movie Heartthrob is having a torrid affair with one half of the couple...the GUY!

21. Michael Musto/Village Voice...11/28
--What enduring Broadway diva is married, but very much a lesbian, thank you? Bernadette Peters; Patti Lupone

--What matinee idol bachelor whom the world pants for is supposedly an s/m top to run from (unless you like that sort of thing, of course)? Richard Gere; George Clooney

--What star of a recent Broadway revival is a devout member of a sect that believes all men are derived from aliens? What planet did he come from?

--What European actress did it with a passé Euro action star and tells people he's hung from her elbow to her hand? (And, by the way, she has a really long arm.) What Hollywood blond enjoyed the same fabulous pipe, though she has to emphatically deny it or the hubby would gag, even though the shebang-bang happened before they were married?
Action star - Jean Claude Van Damme
European Actress - Helena Bonham Carter
Hollywood Blond - Sharon Stone

--What unctuous TV interviewer of indeterminate sexuality has been seen blind drunk in West Village gay bars? Carson Daly; Dave Holmes; Craig Kilborn; James Lipton of "Inside the Actor's Studio"

--What hot, scruffy actor, who supposedly went out with America's sweetheart, is gay and openly made out with a guy at a Paris fashion show? Matthew McConaughey;
Jason Patric

--Who, when told by a fan that he's her second favorite designer, snarled, "I hope your favorite isn't Todd Oldham!"? Who was her favorite? (Free answer: herself.) Vera Wang

--What superstar doesn't care for that other superstar because she's patronizing and mean to people who work for her, big surprise?

--Which same (latter) diva, who's beloved by gays, behaved quite abhorrently in a custody battle, saying that it was a bad influence on the kid that her hubby's ex-wife hired lesbian baby-sitters? How dare she?

--What star of a creepy independent movie from earlier this year suffers from premature ejaculation syndrome? Isn't he kooky enough? Christian Bale

--What immensely popular director and what all-purpose hip-hopster unwittingly share a mistress—a distinctly average-looking woman who must be quite a marvel in the sack to nab these power players? Robert Redford and Will Smith/"Bagger Vance"

--What messy Oscar winner enthusiastically introduced her drag pal to friends, but got the name wrong, saying, "This is Drag Queena"?

--What director couldn't finish postproduction on his latest film because of a breakdown most people attribute to the behavior of its cantankerous has-been star? Stephen Kay, directing Stallone in 'Get Carter'; Roger Spottiswoode directing Arnold Schwartzenegger in '6th Day'

--What same star is more of a cantankerous has-been than ever now that said film tanked? Val Kilmer and Red Planet; Sylvester Stallone and Get Carter

--What esteemed actor, acclaimed in a theater hit, was once closerthanthis to that gay-porn luminary? Tony Danza (acclaimed in "The Iceman Cometh") and Ryan Idol

--What bright light backed out of a musical, not because of the personal reasons stated, but because she didn't feel the material was ready? (When an investor pulled out, thereby eliminating the out-of-town tryout, she freaked, knowing that going straight to Broadway would be extremely ill-advised for the show.) Angela Lansbury

--What star of the upcoming Follies revival has been seen with a producer of the aforementioned musical, prompting murmurings along the Rialto that she might be the name who could make that show eventually happen?

--What beloved theater queen drinks a little too much at parties and becomes scarily hotheaded whenever he feels defensive, which is often? Nathan Lane

--What Brit icon's marriage became extra soured years ago when she walked in on hubby with his penis at attention and obediently inserted into a naval officer's anus? Queen Elizabeth; Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh; Sarah Ferguson; Margaret Thatcher; Princess Diana

--What generally superb actor—except in that movie where he played an outrageous drag queen—seemed determined to not even crack a smile during the opening night of The Rocky Horror Show, a much more successful property about an outrageous drag queen? Nathan Lane; Phillip Seymor Hoffman

--What diva is going ahead with casting that TV movie about her life, and which of her former musical cohorts is reportedly pissed, as usual? Diana Ross and Mary Wilson

--What soap stud has gone born-again, to the unending chagrin of his predominantly gay cast and crew?

--What alleged virgin is dating just the guy to keep her as such, though insiders are saying he actually swings both ways and one way does include her? Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake; Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey

--What offbeat rock legend covers up his ding-a-ling when he urinates in a public bathroom, partly out of a sense of celebrity propriety, but mostly because it ain't all that big? Chuck Berry; Little Richard

--What one-named star supposedly has one ball, and I don't mean Madonna?
Sisqo; Seal; Eminem

--Remember when I broke the story that a daytime TV character would come out as a lesbian? (It all came true, mind you, or I wouldn't be bragging about it.) Well, what actress was initially blamed for leaking the item—though she didn't—and insiders thought she did so because she'd made it clear she was not happy with the story line? And why the hell wasn't she happy with it anyway? (Free answer: It wasn't out of homophobia. It was because she was told by higher-ups that the plot would mirror the Cher/Chastity situation and she replied, "Yeah, but in this case, Chastity's the much more interesting character.") Susan Lucci from All My Children

--What top-secret pilot have people at Fox been working on? (Free answer: a Talk Soup?type show focusing on public access cable programs. I'm fabulously afraid.)

--What relative of a club big shot went for a consultation on arm lipo, but the procedure was never carried through because the club big shot's cash flow problems required more immediate medical attention? Peter Gatien/Ingrid Casares

--What slender beauty, when asked at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones's wedding if she'd ever like to do theater, screeched, "Fuck the theater!"? (She must prefer the camera because it adds 15 pounds.) Lara Flynn Boyle

--What sexually ambiguous music sensation really leaves partners breathless (he dabbles in asphyxiation)? Marilyn Manson; Sisqo; Moby

--What publicity whore friend of his slept with the sensation's then girlfriend two years ago?

--What famous sibling paid a stripper for sex, then urged her, "Don't tell anyone. My wife just had a baby!"? Billy Baldwin

--What rocker is so addicted to Showgirls that he's rented it dozens of times, proving without a doubt that everybody hurts. (Bonus answer: Michael Stipe. Just buy it, sweetie!)

--What late-night personality is prone to romantic repartee like "Show me the pussy!"?  Bill Maher; Craig Kilborn

There's a not-bad-looking actor (who makes really not-bad moolah) who likes to smoke. Stayed at the too-chic Mondrian on the Strip recently.

And when the hotel employee the movie man asked to bring up a carton of cigs entered his suite, stripped was the star (with another nekkid guy, mind you).

"Wanna join in?" asked the mega-monied maker-outer.

The hotel hottie declined, but that didn't stop the man with the smokin' buns from calling down to his post to make the same request a few more times.

Oh, hell, with half the world chasing after this guy, can't he take no once or twice?

Funny, don't think that word is in the boy's vocabulary (obviously).

12/02: Here's your final hintaroonie: I'm not the only one who has revealed his legs as of late, though he wishes they were beefier. Matthew McConaughey; Cuba Gooding Jr.; Jim Carrey; Leo DiCaprio

What is to blame for that good-looking young actor's skin-and-bones look?  Close pals swear the dude is clean as a whistle, but they can't explain his increasingly strange eating habits. He's said to order food at hip restaurants and then freak out if various food portions on the plate touch each other.  Lately, he's taken to lecturing friends on how certain foods are toxic, apparently as a way of justifying his going for days without eating anything.  Since those designer threads are beginning to hang off him, somebody better clue him in pronto that eating disorders don't just happen to women. Matthew Perry; Charlie Sheen

It looks like that actor/stud may have finally gotten a taste of his own medicine. Although married with children and most of the time living far from Hollywood, the guy is known to be one of the biggest and most relentless skirt-chasers when he hits town. His usual m.o. is to sweep a beautiful, very decent woman off her feet, woo her for months then simply blow her off without so much as a phone call. Wonder how he'll explain to his wife that very nasty sexually transmitted viral infection for which there is no known cure.  Mel Gibson; Robert De Niro; Harrison Ford

This celeb was rocked when dumped by her lover several moons back, and she wore a painted smile in the aftermath. Very close to a nervous breakdown, she's been spent a good part of her fortune on therapy. Hopefully, her sessions with the doctor have paid off, a much anticipated project may depend on it. Laura Dern; Melissa Etheridge; Gwyneth Paltrow; Cybil Shepherd; Winona Ryder

26. The Mirror...12/01
Which Hollywood film star's gung-ho reputation failed to hold water when he pulled out of a publicity trip to London? He refused to travel to Britain - because he said with the Kosovan war raging it was just too close for comfort. Doh! Michael Keaton

27. Filth2Go...12/04
Could it be that a certain reality television star is still trying to cash in on his 15 minutes of fame? It wasn't enough that the 23 year old attempted to parlay his limited clothing and talent into an acting career. Now he's hitting the Internet to try to keep the money coming in. Although public forums like eBay are listing such personal items as his sandals and underwear, contacting him personally brings the promise of even more personal items. Such as? How about used condoms - with pictures to prove that they were used by the "athletic party boy" (his words) in question? And all I'm offering you is my basket.

When soap stars have smaller baskets than the one I'm giving my fans, then we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. With so much gossip to report this week, we had room for just one blind item - about a man with a possible Charo obsession (there's a clue that will only help devotees).

(Note: the comments about the soap star with a smaller basket, and Billy's giving his basket to his fans, refer to other items in the column.) Josh/'Big Brother'

28. STAR 12/05
This actor is thrilled that his new sitcom is a suprise hit. But producers are worried because this fellow plays a husband and father, while in real life he's openly gay. Executives want him to stop hanging out with his boyfriend and posse of gays and pass for straight. They also want him to find a girl to 'date' - quick. They're terrified he'll be spotted in a revealing situation. The actor grudgingly agreed to cooperate, but if the show hits No.1 he's telling friends he might just come OUT of the closet.
Anthony Clark of 'Yes Dear'

29. GLOBE 12/05
This hot, young Hollywood stud has 'missed' his last two public appearances because he's been plastered. The booze-hound hunk raided the fully stocked bars in the limos he was being chauffeured around in and was feeling no pain by the time he got to the events. His reps sent him away to sober up so fans wouldn't see him sloshed. No they're begging Mr. Young Hot Shot to give rehab a shot.
Vince Vaughn; Matthew McConaughey

What sweet pop balladeer has put a spring in his step for his wedding! The aging Rock and Roll Hall of Famer has undergone a penile implant operation. The friendly folkie recently cancelled a network TV gig to appear in the O.R.
James Taylor

31. NY POST/PAGE SIX...12/07
--WHICH childless, aging liquor magnate is desperately negotiating to buy the eggs from a blond, 45ish Oscar-nominated documentary maker? The tycoon would have the ova fertilized in vitro, then implanted in the wombs of foreign nationals in his employ to produce an heir . . .

--WHICH TV anchor had an affair with a guest on his show? The married rogue starting sleeping with the country crooner soon after he interviewed her.  Stone Phillips/Tanya Tucker

32. STAR ....12/12
This exquisite actress not only has a great career, but she seems to have found the perfect man. He's drop-dead gorgeous and the kind of decent guy that every girl dreams about. So what's the problem? She can't resist the thrill of CHEATING with other men. While her trusting guy is waiting at home, this girl is two-timing him with a co-star on location. Most recently she's been having an affair with a top photographer. Her guy thinks she's doing loads of publicity photo shoots, but it's just another sleazy affair.
Julia Roberts; Gwyneth Paltrow; Ashley Judd

33. GLOBE ....12/12
This former teen heartthrob was a BIG hit with the ladies when he starred in one of TV's top-rated sitcoms. But these days, he's been spending time in the wrong part of town with the wrong kind of people. He's buying pot from street hoodlums, rolling big fat joints and smoking them openly. And he shouts out to cute female passersby, "Hey! I'm a big star. You wanna @%#$ me?"
Zachery Ty Bryan, Scott Baio; Joey Lawrence

34. STAR 12/19....
This former bikini beauty is broke. She thought the money would just keep rolling in, but it hasn't. Unfortunately, the television star got married to a layabout musician before she left her television show and she's been supporting him in style ever since. She's running out of money and late with the rent so often that they're being forced to move from her modest apartment. What's more, she's written almost $10,000 in bad checks. Her friends want the lazy husband to get a job, but she's hopelessly in love and wouldn't think of asking him.
Traci Bingham (Baywatch)/Robb Vallier

35. GLOBE 12/19....
This older movie heartthrob is quietly lending support -- to his delusional ex-wife, an actress who's become a raging alcoholic. But he keeps it quiet from his screen star main squeeze because it would cause problems if she knew he was in touch with his ex. She suspects she wants him back...and she may be right.

Actor - Paul Newman; Kurt Russell
Wife - Joanne Woodward; Goldie Hawn
Ex - Jackie Witte; Season Hubley

Royal watchers are abuzz that there's a rebellion in the palace. One of them is considering relocating to the States to get away from the controlling family patriarch, whose sights are set on grooming another heir. The royal risks a prince's wrath and title if daring enough to make the crossing. Prince Albert of Monaco

37. STAR MAGAZINE...12/26
He's the middle-aged Hollywood star who's known more for his looks than his acting. He hasn't worked for a while, so to support his lavish lifestyle he's turned to the world's oldest profession -- he's a gigolo! Although he hasn't kept up with the times, some women his age and older find his suave look appealing -- and they're more than willing to pay him big bucks for sexual favors. He has a regular clientele that pays him upward of $5000 for passion-filled nights. The women range from a 40 year old career woman to a frisky senior who's approaching 80! George Hamilton; Fabio; Scott Baio

38. GLOBE ...12/26....
This famous rock star has such bad body odor that wardrobe people cringe every time they go near him. They can't even borrow clothes from famous designers for him because after he's worn them, they have to be tossed in the trash. An assistant tried soaking a white t-shirt he wore in bleach -- but it still smelled foul. Amazingly, this guy gets lots of groupies, but nobody wants to tell him about his little problem. Or maybe he has been told and just doesn't care. Sting; Lenny Kravitz

--WHICH hard-drinking heartthrob gets rough with his girlfriend? Friends say he'd better stop slapping his lady around before she calls it off . . . Russell Crowe; Matt LeBlanc

--WHICH two Hollywood actors - one British, one Hispanic - were so thrilled with New York's raging club scene that they scored some cocaine and ecstasy to prolong the evening into the wee hours?
Hispanic actor: Benicio del Toro
British actor: