November and December 1999

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1. NATIONAL EXAMINER...11/09
This aging actress, once a TV superstar, has turned to crystals to firm up her sagging face rather than go under the knife for the umpteenth time. A New Age guru insists the stones will make her face a feature attraction again. But more than anything she hates pain and spending money on surgery!

2. STAR MAGAZINE...11/09
Once the star of this top-rated series, this lucky young actress is still in demand so there's no reason for her tragically self-destructive behavior. She used to have a 'nice girl' image but too many nights of hard drinking and partying have changed all that. Now she's hit a new low. Recently she turned up at a hip Hollywood club and drank until she was bombed. She was seen smooching various startled guys, and one girl, begging them for cocaine. Her coke habit is so demanding that this rich, pretty star is kissing for drugs.

3. GLOBE....11/09
This big-screen heartthrob has a secret that would give his female fans a heart attack: he loves to dress in women's clothes (no, it's not Dennis Rodman)! At girlfriends' homes he gets stoned on pot, digs through their closets and then parades around wearing the skimpiest, most feminine outfits he can find!

4. Filth2Go....11/01
Could it be that a certain Latin lover is trying to become a latter-day Rudolf Valentino? I can find no other reason for this desperado to spend $10,000 on a life-size bronze replica of his penis as a gift for his wife – clearly a lady who is tough to shop for. Where does Valentino fit into this? In one of the first columns I ever wrote, I reported that Rudy had a solid-lead art-deco replica of his own dong and gave it as a gift to his “good friend” Ramon Navarro (star of the silent version of Ben Hur). Navarro, a hunky guy who had a taste for other hunky men, was killed by two hustlers he had picked up and brought back to his Beverly Hills home. How did they kill him? By bludgeoning him to death with the “penis” and then forcing it down his throat. Let’s hope that this new piece of art doesn’t have a similar fate (although from the look of our Latin’s wife’s lips, she can handle anything that passes between ‘em). Antonio Banderas & Melanie Griffin

--Could it be that a certain trophy boy husband is overstepping his boundaries just a wee bit? So say people who work for his spousal equivalent. This shy guy likes to call hubby’s office and ask the workers to do personal errands and favors for him. Must they? Yes, they must – unless they want to be discarded like their boss’ former wife!

5. NY POST/PAGE SIX....11/02
WHICH young movie actress, who keeps a large sex toy and a collection of Asian porno in her bedroom, was touchy-feely with another woman at one of the New York Film Fest events? ...

WHICH prominent NFL team owner was indiscreet enough to kiss his girlfriend good night right in front of the house he shares with his wife? An eyewitness watched as he went inside and she rode off in a limo.

6. GLOBE .....11/16
This way-overweight film leading man, who's married to an even bigger star, is on a frenzied diet-exercise kick, and here's why: his gorgeous wife refuses to have sex with him while he looks like the poster boy for the Save the Whales Foundation! She told the poor guy his Teletubby body actually REPULSES her! Alec Baldwin & Kim Basinger

7. STAR MAGAZINE...11/16
This former teen idol shocked Hollywood when he checked into rehab to battle an addiction to drugs. He now claims to be clean and sober but he's not. He's using more drugs than ever and he's running out of cash. He's so desperate to fuel his habit that he's even been reduced to selling his body. Although he's no longer a heartthrob, some still find it a thrill to sleep with their childhood idol. He's straight, but he's had sex with more than a few guys just to score his next fix! Leif Garrett, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim

8. RUSH AND MOLLOY/NY DAILY NEWS.....11/08
Which besotted billionaire may be in for some mood swings if he moves ahead with his marriage plans? Fortunately, his sexy fiance's medication helps. Ellen Barkin & Ron Perelman

9. Filth2Go....11/08
Could it be that a certain leading man enjoyed his man-to-man love scenes a lot more than his beard – I mean, girlfriend – would have liked? So say my friends on the set of his current flick who tell me that the lip-locks weren’t limited to in front of the camera. While on location, this film and TV star (who, incidentally, has a connection with one of the other guys mentioned in this column) allegedly enjoyed making various parts of different guys’ bodies disappear. Now, hush your mouth!

10. MOVIELINE/ DECEMBER 1999 and JANUARY 2000...#1
That adorable rising star certainly keeps a tight lid on her family background when she talks to the press, and for good reason. She was raised by unmarried, druggy parents who barely took care of her and who now want to cash in on her success. And that's not all. She's got a cousin who's a druggy, highly paid gigolo and now wants to ride her coattails into screenland. Since this kissin' cousin has been an "escort" to various male and female Hollywood execs, he doesn't really need her -- he could probably muscle into a screen role by threatening to tell what he knows about people outside the family.

11. MOVIELINE/ DECEMBER 1999 and JANUARY 2000...#2
That dark-haired, stacked, statuesque beauty feels pretty great now, having starred in one of this summer's biggest hits and gotten movie offers up the yazoo. But not long ago, it was quite different. The makers of her summer smash humiliated her by telling her she wouldn't get the role (despite her standout audition) unless she agreed to surgically augment her breasts. Which she did.

12. NATIONAL EXAMINER.....11/16
PSST! This young blond actress is hot in Hollywood -- and so hot in real life that she made whoopee with her boyfriend right in the middle of a showbiz gala! As the two gazed passionately into each other's eyes, the guy said: "So you wanna do it?" They beelined to a bathroom, locked the door and emerged all smiles 10 minutes later!

13. STAR MAGAZINE....11/23
HOLLYWOOD WHODUNIT This teen is possibly the cutest in his popular boy group but he's not the greatest catch. The group's handlers are worried about his behavior but choose to look the other way because they don't want to jinx their money machine. Observant fans might have noticed this heart-throb has lost about 25 pounds in the past few months. His addictions keep him up all night. Not only does he snort mountains of cocaine, but he constantly has hookers coming and going. His teen fans would be heartbroken to learn he'd much rather pay for sex than have a real girlfriend. Probably one of the Backstreet Boys

14. GLOBE .....11/23
This famous movie star is secretly a real life witch! Our hush-hush sorceress casts spells on people she doesn't like or who've done her wrong. She never leaves home without her collection of voodoo dolls and sticks pins in them as she chants curses! Sandra Bullock, Fairuza Balk (The Waterboy, American History X, The Craft)

15. NATIONAL EXAMINER..... 11/23
Can you guess which chatty tv hostess who swears men fall all over her on a daily basis is, in fact, SO sex-starved that she begged a pal to accompany her to a porno shop, where she stocked up on several sex-rated toys? Kathy Lee Gifford, Star Jones

16. STAR  MAGAZINE....12/07...**Soap Blind Item**
This popular West Coast actor's contract is up soon and he has the show right where he wants it. Several actors have left and several more are leaving soon, so the show's desperate to keep him. They quickly made him a very generous offer, but he's demanded an enormous raise, double his vacation time and extra time off throughout the year to do other things. The show agreed to all his demands, but he keeps adding more to his must-have list.

17. GLOBE .....12/07
This pretty actress, who can be seen weekly in a popular hit series, sexually propositioned a hunk at a recent Hollywood party. When the guy's wife caught drift of the situation, she told Miss TV star in no uncertained terms that they were married. Not that the actress cared, "That's OK," she said unfazed. "Let's all go back to my place and do it!" The couple walked away disgusted.

18. STAR MAGAZINE....12/07
This girl group is one of the hottest of all time and the gals have been lucky in love. They all have gorgeous guys except one. She's just as cute and rich as the others, so why no main man? She doesn't want one, that's why. She prefers female company and she likes them young and pretty. Handlers have warned her to keep her image sweet. But our closeted cutie has become lax about concealing her preferences and observers are starting to talk. One of the Spice Girls, Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks

19. NATIONAL EXAMINER.....12/07
I can't name names now, but can you guess which popular sitcom star who's had a long battle with the bottle has definitely fallen off the wagon? The star uses a particular limo company and the driver knows to have the bar well-stocked with the celeb's favorite booze and expensive wines before every pickup. And sometimes the chauffeur is given no specific destination -- the star polishes off bottles in the back seat while being driven all around town.

20. NY POST/PAGE SIX...11/29
WHICH media kingpin -- who's supposedly in a monogamous relationship -- still places orders with the Wowboys call-guy service? He's so well-known to the studs-for-hire they've given him a very personal, very uncomplimentary, nickname. Jann Wenner of Rolling Stone

WHICH Hollywood leading man is enjoying his female chef as a side dish? But he isn't greedy. He shares with his pretty wife.

21. Filth2Go....11/29
Could it be that a certain soulful singer is once again in love? That’s the word from his roadies, who say that this formerly large, now svelte balladeer has been spending less time on the road and more time here and now in his pink palace playing kissy face with his new boyfriend. You can always tell when he’s taken time to stop to love because then he loses half his weight. I can only imagine the stretch marks on him! Luther Vandross

22. MUSTO BLIND ITEM...12/01
What late legend had, at different times, a girlfriend with inverted nipples, another one with a prosthetic finger, and a wife whose plucked eyebrows stubbornly refused to grow back? (He himself would joke, "I always seem to have women with parts missing.") JFK Jr. (Sarah Jessica Parker, Darryl Hannah, Carolyn Bessette)

b. What openly gay actor is also amazing in the sack—worth paying for, in fact?

c. What closeted movie actor sucked off a friend of a friend of mine at a gym steam room, the suckee not realizing until afterward that he'd been done by an acclaimed icon?

d. What boy-group star is going out with a member of another such ensemble? (I seriously want an answer; all I know is one team player's doing another, but I don't know which of each.)

e. What boy-group star, before adopting the requisite macho, lova-ya-girl stance of such an esteemed personage, was practically a drag queen?

f. What model broke up with that closet queer, only to hook up with a whole other one?

g. What TV host should appear on her own show as the world's lousiest tipper?

h. What '80s rocker is the world's most emphatic carpet muncher and is starting to deny it less and less? Joan Jett?

i. What undeniably hot lead singer is as small of penis as he is minuscule of charm when he gets plastered? Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray

j. What Time Warner big shot, attending a panel discussion at which I espoused outing, had a revelation by the end and said, "Maybe we should do outing!"? Time Inc. editorial director Henry Muller.

k. Who was miffed when rudely denied a reserved seat at an Antonioni event at MOMA the other week? Sex and the City's Chris Noth

l. And now for a sexuality-guessing bonus: Who are gaydar sirens ringing about so loudly, it's practically like the sound of screaming queens? In other words, what stars are very close friends of Dorothy, if mass gay intuition can be trusted? A whole shitload of folks, actually, but let's narrow them down to a more manageable sisterhood, shall we?

23. NY POST /PAGE SIX....11/14
WHICH southern U.S. Senator - a big supporter of the Horndog-in-Chief - sidled up to a gorgeous blond news anchor at the bar at the Capital Grill in D.C. and put the moves on her? Her date finally arrived, got between them, and asked, "Shouldn't you be home with your wife and kids?" .

24. Filth2Go.... 11/14
Could it be that a certain pop superstar is thinking of adding a long-neglected credit to her resume – like that of mother? So say my sources who confirm the rumor that this songstress had a child back when she wasn’t quite in control of her life and is toying with going public with the full story. Since having a child fifteen years ago could have damaged her career, her parents basically forced her to drop out of sight while she had her daughter. She then came back on the scene to conquer the charts for most of the decade. What about the child? She’s been raised by the superstar’s sister, who has two children of her own and not much of a career. Don’t worry about spreading this rumor – like the Berry Gordy love child Diane Ross had, this secret’s pretty much an open book.

25. TED CASABLANCA....11/17
There are so many talk-show hosts these days, right?

So I should be pretty safe on this one. (Ahhh, ya never know--but what the hell?)

One of those gabbing egoists has a doozy written into his or her contract: Said hot-air type has demanded that no crew member ever look at or address the mouthing prima donna.

Hmmm. So many egos, so many choices.

I'll give you one little hint: The host has a thing for one of the (least healthy) seven deadly sins.

Chew on that one, why doncha?

26. STAR MAGAZINE....11/30
She's one of the highest paid actresses in H'wood but you'd be shocked at how she spends her money She's addicted to porn and can't get enough of the hardcore stuff. She's too famous to go to a video store and rent the new releases so she spends thousands ordering them through the mail. She has enough videos to open her own adult store and her collection runs the gamut -- from all-male to lesbian to bondage flicks. And guess what - she shares her smut with her Oscar-winning best pal."

27. STAR MAGAZINE...11/30/....**SOAP WHODUNNIT**
This young diva's been with her soap for less than a year, but her head's already so big she's acting as if she's the star of the show. She walks the halls before taping, complaining about the garbage material she has to do. She's even been rude to friends she's made on other soaps. She made lunch plans with one actress and then never bothered to show up. When the actress politely asked her what happened, this sassy miss snapped that something ahd some up. A word of advice: Don't forget your show's producer has fired several people because of their bad attitudes."

28. NATIONAL EXAMINER ....11/30
Which hunky movie superstar who supposedly only has eyes for his actress girlfriend is secretly swoooooning over a sexy 6 foot blond salesgal. The macho man frequents her L.A. boutique and begs her to model skimpy outfits for him, with the excuse that they're for his girlfriend. But my spies tell me his clueless galpal hasn't received a single one (guess the unopened boxes are piling up in his trunk).

29. GLOBE.....11/23
This wildly popular youth-obsessed ex-sitcom star is hooked on plastic surgery. He had a face lift about six years ago and recently went in for his fourth (count 'em) nose job. His doc refused to operate, but all was not lost. The surgery addict had another face lift instead.

30. STAR MAGZINE....12/14
He's one of the top ball players of our decade but not one of the nicest. The guy is married and a father, but he's not satisfied. He wants a beautiful baby so he talked the aspiring model he's been cheating with into having his child. He bought the gorgeous -- and pregnant -- girlfriend a home with a maid and he gives her a generous allowance. She was happy to cooperate because she'll be set for life. But what will the wife do in three months when the baby comes? Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds

31. GLOBE ....12/14
This hit TV show dad spent most of his recent hiatus in rehab trying to kick his drug habit. And he's got a lot at stake. His bosses hit him with an ultimatum: Clean up for good this time or you're history!

32. NATIONAL EXAMINER.....12/14
Can you guess which popular athlete who's supposed to be a devoted family man scores with the ladies all over the country? This boy even hires escort services to help him hit home runs in different cities. One such company swears he has the stamina of a bull, and that its girls can't wait to help him, um, score touchdowns!

33. Filth2Go....12/06/
Could it be that a certain superstar is getting more and more narcissistic? Let me recount the facts, and you tell me what you think. Say you film your first network special in the summer. You have seen the final edit, have a copy of it on video, and make everyone you meet watch it with you. On a night off from your tour (oh, say in Salt Lake City, where you’re staying at the Hotel Monaco), your entire entourage wants to go out to see a musical (let’s call it Les Miz). However, you bow out and send your assistant (Jose) along to say that you’re not feeling well. But – and here’s where it gets a bit crazy – you’re feeling fine. So why didn’t you go out? ‘Cause you want to stay home and watch your TV special. A bit loca, n’est ce pas? Ricky Martin

34. STAR MAGAZINE.... 12/21
He's the married host of a syndicated entertainment show but it's his sexual antics that would really get Hollywood talking. When his pretty but not-so-smart wife isn't around, he's busy looking for that next big scoop - at Hollywood's sleazy gay bathhouses! He wears a big floppy hat and not much else as he parades around sex clubs cruising for guys. He's becoming a regular on the scene - sometimes cruising three times a week. Most peculiar - he prefers pretty boys who resemble his wife!

35. GLOBE.....12/21
This fabulously famous, hot young tv star is currently sporting longer locks on her hit series. But she didn't have a sudden hair growth spurt. No, no! The truth is she's slowly been losing her hair and producers suggested that she start wearing hair extensions to cover the thin patches. Calista Flockhart, Sarah Michelle Geller, Jennifer Aniston, Neve Campbell

36. TED CASABLANCA.....12/11
You will not believe which male star of a current quasi-hit movie had a very passionate affair with the wife of a major star of another current movie. This one is worth thinking about.

37. Filth2Go....12/13
Could it be that one of my sisters in gossip (someone who just last week was seated directly behind me at a play and kept kicking my chair) is bemoaning his being pigeonholed as “just a gossip columnist”? So it seems, since this guy (who’s lost a ton of weight and looks quite good) has asked his agents to shop him around as a potential writer or actor. The sad news came back – no one wants a gossip columnist hanging out on the set. And you wonder why I keep such a low profile (to say nothing of my body fat).

--Could it be that a certain second-generation actor called an actress from the Jurassic Age a “c*nt”? My fans have told me the most hysterical stories from that high-profile benefit performance that was organized to celebrate the esteemed actress’ nine-hundredth birthday (give or take a hundred – she’ll have to be carbon-dated to know for sure). After being told how to deliver his line one time too many, this somewhat meek and mild actor finally asked what was wrong with his performance. He was told (in front of the company no less), “This is how we’ve done it for 30 years!” He said, “Well, that’s not the way I’m going to do it, so just get used to it.” He then walked off the set, saying the “the c word” in what I’d call a “stage whisper”. He received bravos from the rest of the onlookers, but the target of the curse had no idea why he was being cheered. Seems she didn’t have her Miracle Ear on!

38. GLOBE......12/28
Family and friends of this daytime soap opera legend are frantic because she's turned into a total kleptomaniac. She steals from shops, restaurants and even pals' homes. Her family is terrified to take her out anywhere because her purse is likely to be full of cutlery and knickknacks. The only reason she hasn't been caught is because she's very good at it.

39. STAR MAGAZINE...12/28
There's a reason this Hollywood beauty loves to visit her favorite hairdresser -- when he's not cutting her hair, he's snorting cocaine with her! Customers at his posh salon were stunned to see what the rail-thin actress left behind in the bathroom -- a vial of coke, a small mirror and a rolled-up $50 bill! She was so coked up when she waltzed out of the salon that she didn't even realize she left souveniers behind!

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