NOTE: Guesses in italics are only guesses;
guesses in blue are a link to the solution or substantial clues

1. NY POST 03/01
What big-boned funny gal has been mouthing off on red carpets lately about an A-list bubbly blonde she once worked with, claiming she doesn't eat? She's been overheard complaining about the actress — who's currently romancing a fellow superstar actor, despite a high-profile divorce that was finalized four months ago — most recently at a Live Earth event at Smart House in Venice, Calif. The big-boned lady thinks her skinny sister sets a bad example for young girls.
Jennifer Coolidge/Reese Witherspoon/Jake Gyllenhaal

1. Which celebrity chef was too cheap to bring his own car down at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival in Miami? "He kept trying to bum rides all weekend and he was drunk," a fellow Food Network fave spills. "By the end of the night he would just fall into a cab with random people. He barely made it back to his hotel one night."

2. Which aging supermodel has maintained her youthful appearance without going under the knife, but by supplementing her vitamin regimens with major league-style steroid treatments? Christie Brinkley

3. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 03/03 **#1**
The Wrong Colour, the Wrong Number. It’s officially an epidemic – celebrities walking around intoxicated by their own ridiculous sense of entitlement, unleashing a steady stream of bad behaviour for which my Chinese squawking chicken mother would have me flogged if I ever dared to emulate. For some people however fame excuses the need for good manners. For this girl who is NOT the "no looking" one from last week, fame excuses the need to be appreciative and grateful and shameful. So she’s promoting a new project, is making the rounds. Gets picked up in a very very high end luxury car. Like super luxury. It pulls up to pick her up and she refuses to get in because "she doesn’t like the colour". It’s too bright. She doesn’t "do that colour". After half an hour she’s finally coaxed inside. Then she throws another fit because there are 5 water bottles inside the car. Odd numbers. She doesn’t like odd numbers. She specifically requested even numbers. Near meltdown ensues. Next stop – her dressing room on a show where she’s scheduled to perform. Her people apparently requested "skinny mirrors’. Skinny mirrors were not ordered. Regular mirrors were ordered. She takes one look at herself and threatens to walk. She is placated by the promise of a one week resort stay in the Caribbean. And I haven’t even bothered to share the details of her catering complaints: not enough sashimi, not enough champagne, sandwiches were too soggy, and on and on and on. Someone needs to invent The Slapper. The Slapper needs to slap this bitch hard. Let me save you some work: not Mimi, Whitney, Janet, Madonna, or Lopez.
Ashlee Simpson

4. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 03/03 **#2**
Boys Are Bitches too! And not just the gay ones. He is happily attached but his entire persona pre-commitment was based on the fact that he was just a dude. An immature funloving dude. An un-Hollywood dude who routinely pointed out the Hollywood hypocrisy of many other Hollywood dudes and douchebags. Now he’s a big star in an A List relationship. Which of course gives him the right to act like a self important little big twat. But how f&cking spiritual is this? Photo shoot this weekend for a gadget company he endorses. He too pulls out the primadonna moves: Shows up 3 hours late. And again – don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, don’t even sneeze in my direction, and yes… it was made clear that he preferred to be alone with the photographer between frames, necessitating a run and gun scramble from the crew, meaning the photographer would have to holler for help in a different room every time an adjustment needed to be made. Can you imagine? Can you imagine verbalising that order? Don’t look at me and don’t talk to me? When did that become ok? Word is this is not unusual. It’s actually standard procedure where he’s concerned. On another occasion, he was particularly demanding when it came to his favourite tea, steeped for exactly 6 minutes, always needs to be piping hot even if he doesn’t touch it, can’t be microwaved, and he doesn’t like boiled tap water either. He wanted boiled bottled water. A special brand. It never, ever stops. And it’s even worse when he’s with her. Apparently her makeup brushes have to be cleaned in special water too.
Ashton Kutcher

So this married aging B list film actor who used to be A+ back in the day. I mean really A+. Not like borderline A, but seriously A+. Anyway, our married actor usually leaves his fun with other guys to the times he is safely outside the country. Recently though he just couldn't pass up the chance to hit on an openly gay man/model working for a movie studio. After basically not leaving his side the entire day while working on a project at the studio, our actor finally followed the studio worker to the bathroom and propositioned him there. The model turned down our actor because he just wasn't that attracted. He did say though that if it had been when our actor was A list he probably would have gone for it.
John Travolta

SHE LIKES TO WATCH & PARTICIPATE: Introduction: Some of these black and white celebrities are now going out of the country to get their freak on to avoid the prying eye of the media but we have sources everywhere! Overseas: This rich and famous black woman flies by private jet to sex destinations all over the world. She once went to the Dominican Republic to check out a super private sex site reserved for celebrities and the rich. This place is set up like a modern day garden of eden where famous people parade around nude when their not frolicking with each other. This same woman has also been spotted in Puerto Rico at another sex spot-for the rich and famous. A private guide leads you through a tunnel to reach this destination. Everything is done with a real cloak and dagger feel. Domestic: This same woman flew out to San Francisco discreetly, to check into the "Edgewater Hotel," before it shut down. This sex hotel was once located near the Oakland Airport. Our sources from back in the day tell us, she arrived in sunglasses but was still recognizable. She refused to enter the purple doors but she intently watched from outside as a woman took on five men, none of the men wore condoms. After the show was over in that room. Our famous woman moved down to the next room, where she watched two local NFL players (from different teams) bang one of the visiting porn stars. When this show was over, she got in her limo and left. Later, the "Edgewater Hotel," was featured on HBO's Real Sex. We are now receiving reports from the East Coast that this woman is also an member of a super elite underground sex club in New York that only caters to celebrities. Allegedly, she participates at this club and although she's had significant others and she's known to wait on her men, hand and foot. She cuts loose in this club and always has sex with the most attractive woman in attendance. This club is so secretive, when someone was discreetly caught taking photos, they were dealt with severely and their pen camera was destroyed. She may be submissive to her men but with women, she is the boss. Hint: It's not Mariah or Diana.
Kimmora Lee Simmons

7. NY DAILY NEWS 03/03
Which single-ish A-list actor is back to his old ways since splitting with his wife? He was seen handing off a suspicious-looking vial to a hard-partying TV thesp who is about to hit the big screen.
Sean Penn

INSECURITY" This non-black woman slept her way to the top and she was often on her knees. She's also very vindictive. And, she continues to go out of her way to blacklist anyone who was mean to her before she obtained success. She married a black man and she's told friends, "it would bother me more if he cheated on me with a black women!" She seems to have a strong dislike for black women and often refers to them as the h-word when she's among family and friends. Her dislike spills over onto her fans. She is less friendly when black female fans approach her and often begs off to get out of signing autographs but she laughs and jokes with white fans continuously. Who Is She?
Eva Longoria

9. NY POST 03/05
1. WHICH actress went into rehab only after she suffered a miscarriage? She was on a four-day cocaine bender when she lost the baby she didn't even know she was carrying.
Eva Mendes; Kirsten Dunst

2. WHICH aging actress was the celebrity guest for a fashion function and made the moves on the company's powerful and handsome - but married - CEO? The company no longer works with her. Sharon Stone

3. WHICH red-carpet couple will finally have someone to talk to now that they're new parents? The Hollywood pair are so strange and reclusive, "they have no other friends." Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony

Which super-star mommy cut a PR deal with the private hospital in which she gave birth to cut down on the costs of her VIP suite?
Jennifer Lopez

Which top celeb weekly editor was enjoying himself too much at a recent party? The married man boasted to any girl who would listen about his "open marriage" before groping them. It got so bad that one female reveler's date intervened and punched the cad to the floor after a verbal warning.

#1 - This C list film actress who used to be B+ and has always had A name recognition due to her unusual name has not been working much. In fact, if it were not for her one defining role, she would have been relegated to obscurity by now. The thing is though, it was a defining role, and she is and was gorgeous. Did I mention she is married? She is, and that is where this story gets a little creepy. Thanks to Miley Cyrus I will be using that word all damn day. Her husband has a job, but he doesn't actually work. He is the kind of guy who prefers to live off his wife's modest earnings and her fame. He loves being married to his wife. Not because he loves her, but because he is a pompous ass who thinks he is Mr. Big Shot because he married a former sex symbol. He makes her go out with him almost every night so people can see them together, and he loves inviting strangers back to their house and having her put on something a little more revealing. If that doesn't work, he walks the strangers around the house and shows off nude photos of his wife that are hanging throughout the house.

#2 This former B list singer and entertainer is aging now, but still has that dynamic, outrageous personality that made him such a star then and now. He lives off his past, but with that smile and famous name he has no problems getting gigs. Over the weekend, our singer, who is confined to a wheelchair now, came into a restaurant with a group of people, and had just ordered when he was recognized. For the next hour he signed autographs, posed for photos and handed out photos of himself while his food just lay there untouched. Someone asked him if they should let him eat and he said that his fans were much more important and that he could always heat up the food in the microwave. Little Richard

Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career? Avril Lavigne

Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?
Wentworth Miller and Jodi Lyn O'Keefe/"Prison Break"

#1 This 60 something B list for his entire film career was out to dinner two nights ago with a woman not related to him, (unless sharing tongues is accepted in their family) who was carded when she asked for a drink. As the waiter asked the question, the blood drained from our actor's face. He tried to stop her from showing her i.d, saying that she really didn't need a drink, but it was already out. 17, but the good news she was almost 18. July actually.
James Woods

#2 This good looking B list film actor who is making an awful mistake if the recent stories of his love life are true is the subject of this mini kindness. A teacher was walking through the lobby of a building when he spotted our actor waiting for the elevator. The teacher is a high school teacher and he recognized the actor immediately. He approached him and said, "Hi, I'm a big fan of yours and I show your movie (fill in the blank) to my high school Government classes." The actor shook his hand and thanked him and then asked why he would show his students that movie. And this is where the teacher could tell our actor was a decent human being. The elevator opened up, actor looked at it, looked back at the teacher and said, "There will be another one. Tell me about your class." The teacher explained what the movie brought to his students and they spent another ten minutes talking with our actor saying he might have enjoyed his Government classes when he was in school, if only he'd had such a teacher. Aaron Eckhart "Thank You For Smoking"

What music mogul is breathing a sigh of relief now that his superstar girlfriend has a hit on her hands? He was being blamed for her career troubles. Now that she is back on top, maybe she will marry her long suffering boyfriend. Jermaine Dupri/Janet Jackson

One New Nose About It Blind Vice: Vicky Vamp Void recently had some work done to her famed bod, though we think her old mug is just as shrugworthy as her new one. The unnecessary surgery seemed completely cosmetic, but ya never know—cocaine does do some pretty rancid damage to the ol’ septum, boys ‘n’ girls. Stick to Diet Rockstar, kiddos, ‘kay? Vicky has been spotted in the past casually snorting the white stuff at the Spider Club, the semiexclusive hot spot atop Hell-Ay’s Avalon. Spider might be a private place, but Vicks nonchalantly nosedived in front of tons of spying eyes like it was no big deal. Usually, it sure ain’t, since who's left in T-town to throw stones at when everyone’s taken a sniff or two time and time again? But so it goes when you’re a superceleb. Your fun night out becomes game for goss, fer sure—not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower. Recently, VVV’s been seen around just about every hip hang with her intriguing, sexually mysterious partner in crime, Humpy Harlow. The tingling twosome are more than happy to parade in front of the paps, soaring as high as weather balloons. But why is H2, a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star, going along for the Us Weekly upchuck ride? Dunno. Might have something do with the fact that, prior to being attached to V3’s barely there notoriety, Hump was known to not exactly party. Just a hunch there. But, uh, look for Harlow’s brand-new puss, too, sometime in ’09, we suspect. Guess H.H. has picked up some average (and lethal) Hell-Ay habits from this wild child gal-pal. AND IT AIN’T: Miley Cyrus; Rachel Bilson; Vanessa Hudgens.
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz

#1 & 2 - So we have a female singer with many millions of albums sold who has always been in straight relationships. Oh, and it is not like her relationships have been quiet. They have been some really huge ones. People know who she dates. Never a hint or whisper of our singer aver being anything other than straight. Then along comes a C list television and film actress. Everyone knows her name, and most of you have seen the television shows she has been a regular in. What we have never done is see her with any guys. Oh, every now and then she might drag a guy to a premiere, but never anything serious. She has already been in one secret relationship with a woman on an ABC primetime show, and now she is in a committed, although secret relationship with our singer. Not a secret to their close friends, just to the rest of the outside world. It is leaking slowly though and will be out soon.

female singer: Sheryl Crow; Mariah Carey
c list television and film actress: Lucy Liu; Lauren Graham; Kristanna Loken

#3 - Breathing a huge sigh of relief are the producers of this hit reality show. In what would have been another embarrassment for the show, one of the female contestants who has been voted off the show is pregnant. Kady Malloy "American Idol"; someone from "Rock of Love 2"

#4 - This married A list film actress by name, but with a body of work that makes her B list, unless of course we are talking about her actual body, then it might be a B+ spent most of her time at a charity event and a store opening away from all her fans. Even though she was being paid big bucks to attend each event, she spent most of the evening doing line after line with her "assistant" who is a good looking guy, but doesn't speak English or appear to do anything but keep our actress company. Catherine Zeta Jones

Which female A-lister's Sapphic relationship with a top editrix came to a crashing halt when the wordsmith saw her "wildly" unkempt nether regions?

Which mournful solo artist is obsessed with his own level of fame? After convincing himself on a recent flight to Australia that he would be mobbed in the streets, the scrawny singer was nonplussed that most Aussies didn't recognize him.

"GAY PRIDE WEEKEND" *The following was related to us from a eyewitness account. One of our gay sources attended a Gay Pride celebration in a major metropolitan city. He was impressed with the turn out. You had your openly gay men, men on the downlow, businessmen, married men, shemales and male hustlers. Everyone was trying to get their grind on. Some of the men made love connections while others had weekend flings. The parties were wild! Guys even received lap dances from self-proclaimed sissies. Go go boys were also pole dancing in the clubs. You also had call boys trying to sell sex. Ecstasy and meth was also in abundance and a lot of uninhibited sexual behavior took place in public, dark alleys, on the dance floor and bathroom stalls. Our source attended a VIP party advertising a special celebrity guest. The club was paying the celebrity a walk-through/appearance fee and he was more than accomodating. This celebrity has always denied being gay but during gay pride weekend, he cut loose. Our source was shocked when he let male fans grope his private parts while others pinched his ass. One man even put his tongue in his ear and he let another male fan tongue kiss him. Our "so called straight" celebrity was enjoying the attention and seemed quite comfortable in a gay environment. When he hit the dance floor, he didn't seem to have a problem with a male dance partner (he just met) grinding on him. Instead, he waved his hands in the air like he just didn't care. When guys in attendance saw how friendly he was, everyone started copping a feel on his rear end and his manhood. He didn't turn anyone away the entire evening. Hint: This man is extremely well known in African-American communities.
Tyson Beckford

Which small-screen star has her personal spray tanner touch her up every other day because her actual skin tone is lighter than the Latina persona she uses to hold onto her fan base? Eva Longoria

Will this very famous female celebrity ever tire of paying off women (with confidentiality clauses attached) her brother physically abuses on a frequent basis? Instead of suggesting her brother get counseling for a anger management problem he obviously cannot control. She always steps up to the plate every time, to dispatch her fixer to pay off abuse claims from various women. He seems to target models, black and white. His sick logic, "Lets see how fast they can repair their face after I batter it." Despite being a female, his sister always blames the victims. "They probably provoked him, they know how to push his buttons." Some women even joke, if you need quick cash and are willing to endure a beating, hook up with him, threaten to go to the press after the beating (because of his sister's fame). Within hours, his sister's fixer will call, arrange a day and time to meet and you will receive a payoff after you sign a confidentiality agreement. Now, we're hearing this man is on steroids. This may send him over the edge, hopefully he won't beat a woman to death. Hint: It's "not" Janet Jackson.
Mariah Carey

23. NY POST 03/10
WHICH married movie mogul had his girlfriend of 11 years on the payroll of his studio as an in-house lawyer? But the cad didn't even give her a heads-up when it was announced the company would be shut down and she'd be losing her job.
Michael Lynne or Bob Shaye of New Line Cinema

Which famous braying crooner went down a line of Playmates and stunning models at a recent film festival, inquiring as to whether or not they'd sleep with him? There were no takers, and one of the models even laughed and called him "short."
James Blunt

Which skinny-again chart topper has been making multiple bathroom visits with his male friend during late nights at hot spots like Hyde? Apparently it's not just the girls who like diet coke.

This one would make your jaw drop. It was the premiere of a film. Not her film, she just made an appearance. She does that. Makes flashy appearances. B list actress although most of us haven't seen much she has done. When it was time to take photographs our mostly television actress was found in the restroom with her new boyfriend that is a big secret. Not having sex mind you. No her new musician friend was helping her find a vein so she could enjoy her new month long habit of injecting heroin.
Michelle Trachtenberg

If this blind item gives you a nagging sense of déjà vu, there's good reason: It's nearly identical to one I posted last year at this time concerning a beloved comedy that was on the verge of getting the ax because it lacked a key supporter at the network that aired it. Cut to March 2008 and a similar situation is playing out with another wildly popular series, only this time the dispassionate network bigwig has a different name and the bubble show in question is a one-hour drama. According to my spies, said suit's beef with the series (which may or may not be on the same network as that other series) is twofold: He/she thinks it's creatively overrated and, more importantly, it's underperforming in the ratings (particularly given its budget). And as bad luck would have it, this is the very person the program's top exec had to sit down with last week to pitch next season's potential hot plots to! One can only imagine the number of (Crickets) present at that meeting. The good news? Not everyone at the network is hating on the endangered series. Plus, the plug hasn't been pulled yet!
Boston Legal

Which clean-cut pop star is a jerk behind closed doors? When a top model accidentally sat on his jacket at a recording studio, the warbler sprinted over and demanded she move immediately.
Justin Timberlake; John Mayer; James Blunt

Which 8-year-old son of a daytime TV personality told gossip reporters on the red carpet that he had recently come down from bed to find his famous mom drinking margaritas on the terrace? "She told me she was going to do the dishes, but she lied to me!" the tyke complained earnestly.
Kelly Ripa

Leftover Blow: It’s either diva bitches or cokeheads these days, don’t ask me why… Many assumed she’d chilled out on the hardcore life, taking a more low key approach, curbing several vices, focusing on career and love. Apparently not so. In fact, she raging even harder these days. Makes it more fun when there’s a partner. And while recreational use is generally accepted in Hollywood, powdering your nose on the job, all day long, day after day… suffice to say, when you can surprise the industry, you might be going overboard on the consumption. Currently working on a new project, she often has to head for the ladies almost every 10 minutes. Glassy eyed and wired all day long, it’s now her only way to get through the long hours. Sniffling and bumbling at the start, bouncing off the walls in no time, so far it hasn’t been a problem because she’s stayed on top of her game. But the other day, when rushed for a scene by the crew, she decided to hoover a thick line on a mirror on the table in the makeup trailer while the stylists had stepped out, laying out so much that what was left over on both sides could have been divided themselves to yield another two lines and so on and so on. Like the cocaine version of cellular division. All hell then broke loose when the leftover blow was discovered as there are children who visit the set rather frequently and so the star was given a stern, uncomfortable talking to, after which she did sweetly apologise to everyone around and treat the crew to snacks and goodies on her but is now being watched closely in the hopes she can control herself enough to see the shoot through on time. Not Uma Thurman.
Sienna Miller

#1 - You ever had one of those moments when you are talking about something maybe a little confidential, and then all of a sudden you realize that everyone is listening? Well, the other day at a party, there was this party. I say party, but it is more of an event rather than a drunk off your ass, take a number to f**k Lindsay kind of party. So, this actor/actress couple are having a little disagreement. Probably over whether or not he is A list. I say definitely used to be, but now more of a B+. She on the other hand. C+ for body of work and B for name recognition. Their disagreement got a little louder and a little louder, until finally he said, "My God, you are such a f**king bitch," as about 30 people looked on and she stalked off.
Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford

#2 - So, I know this singer is really popular with gay men, but I didn't know she had the ability to turn a guy gay. Apparently her foreign born C list actor ex? maybe no ex? who really knows ex boyfriend has, as he was seen playing tonsil hockey with another guy at an event in LA. Kylie  Minogue and Olivier Martinez

32. PANACHE REPORT 03/12 **#1**
He's hitting the bottle again! This man pretends like he's the perfect family man and he always emphasizes how much he loves his wife in interviews. When he's out with his buddies, he acts like a single man and is constantly trying to grope women. After a couple of drinks, he loudly propositions women by pulling out a wad of cash. Women are often turned off by his behavior because he approaches all women as if they are hookers, offering to pay for sex without shame. He is constantly on the prowl while his wife his at home taking care of the home front. And, he is desperately looking for a mistress. He continues to make an embarrassing spectacle of himself, staggering all over Hollywood. He gets so plastered, often, his friends have to carry him to the car. It's doubtful he'll remain off the sauce for good.
Cuba Gooding Jr.; Rodney Pete

33. PANACHE REPORT 03/12 **#2**
According to Sandra Rose: Her friend-Freddyo traveled to the seedy side of Atlanta where men troll for sex with young thugs before going home to their families. Pastor Ma$e is one name that you already know. But the other names may surprise you. There’s the pastor of a megachurch who preaches anti-gay rhetoric in the pulpit while prowling the streets at night looking for a hard body to satisfy his carnal urges. Then there’s the Falcons football player who would die, just die, if his name got out. Then there’s the thug rapper who officially arrived on the scene at the tender age of 17 in 1999 with a couple of big hits. His image was that of a hardened street thug. And lastly, there’s the R&B singer who’s been around for a minute - who is on a first name basis with all the Beyonce’s on the stroll - that’s right, he prefers the trannies.
Pastor of Megachurch: Creflo Dollar
Falcons football player: DAngelo Hall; Michael Vick; Ron Mexico
Thug rapper: Lil' Wayne
R&B singer:
Neyo; Usher; Brian McKnight

34. NY DAILY NEWS 03/12
Which middle-age Lothario famous for playing a small-screen love interest has been using his renewed fame to land very young women? One recent hookup was all of 16 years old.
Chris Noth

#1 Our corrupting influence of a socialite managed to weave her web and ensnare another gorgeous, apparently straight victim. Her latest conquest is a celebutante/model/hostess with the very famous celebrity boyfriend.
Paris Hilton/Vanessa Minnillo

#2 This Hills and/or Laguna Beach star is pregnant. Now if we could just figure out the daddy. All or any of them!

36. NY POST 03/13
1. WHICH friendly actor recently fell off the wagon? Though he's been in rehab several times, he was spotted stumbling out of a Hollywood hotel at 7 a.m. looking totally "waste."
Matthew Perry

2. WHICH creepy flack has a reputation for being overly aggressive with women? He was recently booted from a nightclub for manhandling a young lady and pulling her hair. Sam Lutfi

3. WHICH young soap starlet made networks execs extremely nervous when she was starting out? She was known for fooling around with her much older producers. Levin Remblin "All My Children"

4. WHICH Hollywood hunk cheats on his gorgeous model girlfriend all the time? They've been together for a while but he's clearly not ready to settle down. Leonardo DiCaprio

#1 - I think, but am not sure that I wrote about this ass before. He is a wife beater. Then and now. Television A lister back in the day, now not so much. He has a name and a pedigree, but doesn't get much work. Well he and his current wife were out last week. Doesn't let her out of the house usually and she doesn't usually want to go. Last week though he made an exception. Probably should have stayed in. Although she did a valiant job with hair and makeup, it could not hide the fact that she had suffered a beating in the not too distant past.
Bill Murray

#2 B list actress. Haunting kind of face. Still considered young, but she has been doing this for awhile. Maybe two great roles. Both in film. She has done television in the past, but tries to avoid it now. Anyway, she and this celebutard who is expecting a kid and in a relationship were seen groping each other and making out at an after party a few days ago.

Friends of this female producer are shocked by her alarming weight loss. Since her public breakup with a Hollywood A-lister, she has refused to eat and she is starting to look anorexic. The producer’s ex-husband is also worried about her. He wants her to get her life back on track and concentrate on their kids. He feels she has not been setting a good example for their sons.
Tracey Edmonds

One Same-Old, Shame-Old Blind Vice: Love Life is a smart flick that became a megahit with everyone from teens to adults, with some critical trophy amour thrown in for good measure. Shark Wankberg, a supersuccessful catch (some say), was the main man behind funding the somewhat quirky film. However, the only reason the damn movie got greenlighted in the first place wasn’t because of the offbeat script that floated all over T-town, but because Sharky wanted to sleep with terribly classy Sheila Slurp-Never, who was famously attached to the project. See, Sheila’s been a rising star since she first stepped onto the silver screen. Shee-babe’s respected and talented—not to mention quite doable—and S.W. set his sights on bedding the hon some time ago, trust. But as Ms. Slurp-Never puts up such a good act of being the pissy, high-minded brainy type, the horny dude never thought he had a chance getting the broad between the sheets. But that certainly didn’t mean Shark didn’t try his utter best. Mr. Wankberg saw to it to lay out the cash to get Love’s production rolling along, using his producer power as an excuse to get closer to SSN. And sometime during the filming of the movie that would actually turn out to make millions, Sharky finagled an opportunity to wine and dine Sheila on his yacht, and they did, indeed, do the deed. Turned out to be a piece o’ (very expensive) nooky cake for Shark, much to his slutty surprise. Regardless, the S’s stealthy sexploits were kept hush-hush—could it be because SSN is a few decades Shark’s junior? Or maybe it’s because Sheila found out about Sharkie’s funding favor for the film and felt obligated to him? Doubt it. She be a horncat, that babe. On a power-salacious side-note, Ms. Slurp-Never’s costar was also sneaking beneath the sheets with one of the flick’s other producer-types, though less scandalously so since their ages (and intentions) were more on the same page. Boring! AND IT AIN’T: Parker Posey; Jamie Lynn Spears; Virginia Madsen

"STUD" Rewind: He is a rapper with sculptured sex appeal and she was one of the highest paid white A-list actresses (at one time) in Hollywood history. We have reported on their discreet liaisons but one of our sources recently supplied us with additional "black data," as well as updated information, as follows. Late one evening, she caught his performance on a TV show. She became aroused just by looking at him. She had to have him. Her rep spoke to his rep, on the low. It was understood, she wanted sex only and he didn't disappoint. Their lovemaking sessions were extremely passionate. We have now learned that their liaisons expanded to two continents. Her security team made sure their relationship never leaked to the press and they all had to sign confidentiality agreements. Allegedly, this illicit couple even made out on a private jet fitted with a customized master bedroom. She even rented a yacht where they have a private buffet where she fed him chocolate covered strawberry's. The night was capped off with passionate lovemaking. Soon, she was telling friends that he was the best lover she ever, "he is insatiable." But before she became totally whipped, she broke it off because it would offend her white fanbase if they ever found out and his street cred would be in jeopardy with the urban audience. Fast Forward: Now, she is married but her husband can't compare in the sack to her former 'secret' lover. Word has it, she desperately wants to get it popping again with the rapper and her willpower and the reluctance to cheat is the only thing standing in the way and preventing her from picking up the phone and contacting him. Before the white actress, there was only one woman (a black actress) that our rapper ever spoke fondly of. Now, we are receiving word, that during All-Star weekend, he reminisced fondly about the white actress to his trusted inner-circle. He seems to be missing her as well.

rapper: 50 Cent
A-list (white) actress: Julia Roberts; Sandra Bullock; Demi Moore
black actress: Victoria Rowell

41. NY DAILY NEWS 03/14
Which rehabbed screen siren flipped out when her sobriety caretaker tried to shoo stray cats away from the facility and into the woods? The bombshell tried to have him fired, but was told to calm down and focus on herself.
Eva Mendes

42. HOLY MOLY 03/14
1. Which rock star wears his hairpiece so well no-one has cottoned on until now? Said star is also so tight he tried to decorate his hall using a make-up brush to save the trip to Homebase! Rod Stewart

2. Which sexually confused comedian was spotted being pleasured by two men in a London gym steam room last week? The witness said they were 'worshipping his cock'. Eddie Izzard

#1 - This has to be the oddest gay couple in the entire world. They are both married men in very long term relationships. One made his name outside the film/tv world, but has made his fortune from television. Solid B lister but an easy name to remember. The other has been in the business for over 30 years, and is B list from both film and television although his face is much more well known than his name. Really funny.

#2 - This married with child/children B list film actress now, but always best known for one specific television role was seen holding hands and leaving a party with a guy most definitely not her devoted husband. Yes, he might be a beard, but do you really want to go off with this D list film actor once married to an A lister without using some discretion.

#3 - This once very popular lead singer of a rap/rock group, and now just kind of fading away made an ass of himself as usual at a party when he got incredibly drunk and decided he was going to see how many breasts he could fondle and get away with it. Right after he made his first clumsy attempt, security showed him the door. Fred Durst

#4 - This B list television actress more known for her looks than any real acting ability has been married for quite sometime. She always pretends to be the perfect southern wife, but in reality has a coke problem that she shared with her celebrity husband and almost got him fired from his current job when he had to take an unscheduled drug test. He put it off for a couple weeks claiming a family emergency until he could provide a clean urine sample. Delta Burke/Gerald McRaney

44. NY DAILY NEWS 03/16
Which new mama likes to sneak vodka into her water glass even though she's still breastfeeding?
Nicole Richie

What superstar celebrity - who appears to have it all - is about to get her very own private island? Her generous husband is shopping for a tropical paradise to give her for an upcoming milestone birthday.
Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise

This black male celebrity was determined to marry white, even as a little boy, despite both his parents being African American and all of his male relatives (at the time) being married to black women. He was determined to break the cycle because according to friends, 'he wanted light skinned kids with curly hair.' He even talked a close relative into marrying a white woman as well. In school, when he wasn't famous, no one was checking for him-black women nor white women. When an unattractive white girl gave him a bit of attention, he pounced on the situation and by the time they graduated, they were engaged. After the marriage, he was so grateful she married him. For a time, he did all the cooking and cleaning until he became famous. And, for a short time, he sent her family money and bought them gifts, hoping that they would eventually accept him. Now, he throws his fame in her face. Telling her, she's lucky he stays married to her because he could have any woman he wants. Also, she now does the cooking and cleaning. She has to know he's cheating on her all over town. He's got her so brainwashed, that she looks the other way as he blatantly flaunts other white women. Although our celebrity is gay friendly and has said, that gays bring a vibrancy and excitement to party atmosphere's, he's not gay. After the above statement leaked in Hollywood, our "Downlow Veterans," tried to increase their recruitment drive by inviting him to one of their Hollywood Hills functions. He was appalled and declined the invitation.
Cuba Gooding Jr.

#1 - The B list bisexual film actress who has probably never turned down a guy was turned down over the weekend by a woman. Not the woman she usually is seen out and about with mind you. No, that celebrity was nowhere to be seen. Instead, our actress spent much of the evening trying one approach after the other with this other female. Our actress would not take no for an answer until the female dialed a number on her own cell, and then handed it to our actress. On the other end was the regular female companion for our actress who made nice on the phone and hung up. She then spent 30 minutes making sure that the hit on female would not report the bad behavior. Too late.

Blist bisexual film actress: Lindsay Lohan
regular female companion: Samantha Ronson

#2 - This C list actor with the A list crazy reputation and a certain eye for realism is certainly living up to the crazy part of his reputation. He recently moved out of his home and lived in his car, because his home was too hot. Not hot as in he couldn't get the heat to work properly, but hot as he could not touch any surface of the home without thinking he was burning himself. Walking around with oven mitts on grew tiresome, so he moved into his car until the house could be sold. Vincent Gallo

#1 - This, by definition A list television actor, and B list film star is one of your favorites. He is also married with child/children and aging. Still one of your favorites though. He might not be for long though once the word of his new relationship with this up and coming gorgeous, very young, but legal C list actress poised to be B and higher and doing it in seemingly an instant.
David Duchovny/"Californication" costar Madeline Zima

#2 - This aging B list film actress, is probably closer to C now, than the A list of which she was once on the cusp of achieving. She is currently filming a movie with one of the most eclectic casts in quite some time. Really eclectic. The problem is her drinking. She is already loud. You throw in the fact that she drinks almost non-stop each and everyday, and the last hours of shooting each day are a nightmare for everyone. She throws things, hits people, yells at them, and just becomes more and more of a mess as the day wears on. The producers waited too long to get rid of her, but her part has been reduced dramatically because of how long it takes her to film each scene. I won't even tell you about the time she pissed herself in front of anyone. Whoops. I guess I just did. Debra Winger

1) This American politician is sitting on a ticking time bomb. If his secret(s) get out he may as well kiss his chances for a November victory bye bye. He may have kissed his girlfriend goodbye several weeks ago, the questions remains he much longer she will remain silent. Hint: It’s NOT Bill Clinton. John McCain

2) This actor is still considered A-list but his career is faltering fast. To make matters worse his ego suffered another blow, and this time, literally when at a recent party, he landed flat on his back. He, together with his wife, attended a party where also a former friend turned foe happened to be with his wife. Their joint presence tensed the atmosphere throughout the evening. When the actor made a snarky comment towards his former friend’s wife, he was surprised by a swift left corner, dealt by her husband, sending the actor reeling. Other party goers prevented a real brawl between the two. Hint: Hollywood big shots may have hinted at this, in their circles much talked about confrontation, in recent interviews.  Tom Cruise/Steven Spielberg

3) This European head of state has an addictive fascination for affairs that take place ‘down under.’ Hint: is the honeymoon over already?! President of France, Nicolas Sarkozy

I AIN'T SAYIN SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER "PREMEDITATION" She pretended like she was proud of her close friend for marrying rich but she secretly envied, desired and resented her lifestyle. She felt she deserved to live in the same opulent and glamorous surroundings. She set out to achieve this goal. She also rented sex tapes to heighten her appeal. She was invited to a industry party, a friend, who would also be in attendance told her that a filthy rich male celebrity would also be at the party. This was her chance. Before the night was over, she got his attention with a very sexy outfit and he got her digits. Step 1: Completed. Although he didn't know it, this woman had grandiose plans for him. When he contacted her, they met up and had mind blowing sex. He told friends she was like a wild animal in bed but he seemed somewhat put off by her having sex with him so soon. This woman didn't have a care in the world because she planned to use this man to emulate her friend's lifestyle. He also had money comparable to her friend and he could keep her in luxury for the remainder of her life. She also had a backup plan. Needless to say, one of her plans worked and the other backfired. "Spice Girl" Mel B

You ever just want to curl up in a corner and die because you are so embarrassed? Well, nothing you have ever felt would be like this one. Allegedly there is a tape of this encounter as well. So, to get to relive what I am about to describe for the rest of your life. Not fun. So, there is the D list reality television celebutante who has been in this space before and others, usually accompanied by her friend who is also a celebutante. Anyway, at a party this week and our celebutante sees a guy she has spent some time with in the past. Weekends, nights in hotels after a party. A hookup who usually takes care of her, but someone she really likes. He is an athlete. Football player to be exact. Very good player. Excellent player. Superstar really. Also married. With child/children. Been married a very long time. Went with his wife to this party. Our celebutante didn't know that. Didn't know that when she snuck up behind him this week, and slipped her tongue in his ear, that she would feel a tap on her shoulder, turn around and face the wife. You could see the looks on the faces of all three were in shock, but the only words anyone heard were our celebutante saying, "You're married?" "How long have you been married?" I cannot wait to see that tape.

What is it about women and bathrooms. Do you all talk about everything in there? So, AP was at an event this week and this is what was discussed in the bathroom. This former A list film actress from many years ago, and now a B lister on television who isn't that old despite the length of her career was having a chat with another woman. They were discussing the length of a certain piece of anatomy on some actors they had been with. Our A list actress said that when she had sex with this C list television actor on her show, that he was really well endowed. She went on to say that it made a nice change from her husband. Yes husband. Seems that he is small and the only way he can get off is if he imagines that our actress is a man. Not much of a stretch if you ask me.
Glenn Close/Tate Donovan

This Female Singer is in need of a husband. Every time she gets in a relationship, the men don’t stick around. There was the Singer, but he left her for an older woman. Then there was the TV Anchor he left her to go back to his wife. And, there was the Boxer, but he is having too much fun being single. Will this Singer ever find true love or a husband?
Chilli (Rozanda Thomas) from TLC

One Backfire-for-Hire Blind Vice: Browhilda Frown-Free has just about everything a once desperately ambitious, unknown actress could desire: fame, wealth, notorious love, Academy Award notice, great bone structure, fab hair, free cosmetic procedures for the taking—everything but the freedom to love the one she's (really) with. Don't worry though, babes, Brow's been down this fake-amour alley before. She's a friggin' pro at navigating the affectionless twists and turns of the overly photographed. Howev, BFF's latest man experience—heady as it all may be—has become slightly more than Browhilda's used to, what with her past liaisons of coolly arranged get-togethers. You know the age-old ersatz Hollywood plan: A couple goes out for a red carpet whatever; then they go in for separate, much more private dalliances with their same-sex partners. Brow's had this setup with almost every man she's hooked up with before. But Ms. F.F.'s latest dude—who's more than happy to bed every slobbering femme he can find—has turned out to be far messier than Brow-babe would prefer. Not only does he womanize with indiscretion, he's stupidly starting to make a loud and rather visible stink about Brow's increased devotion to her current g-f. How does that Shakespearean saying go? Oh what a tangled guy web we weave, when at first we hetero deceive? Watch out, Brow, we be onto ya! AND IT AIN’T: Renee Zellweger; Tilda Swinton; Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Nicole Kidman; Penelope Cruz

(BLACK CELEBRITY TORTURE CHAMBERS): Due to the prying eyes of the paparazzi, black celebrities who are into S&M are not patronizing underground torture chambers anymore (that gross $20,000 per week). Instead, they are going out of their way to hide their fetishes and remain discreet by having S&M dungeons constructed in their lavish homes. Home theaters used to be the rage, now black celebrities who indulge in BDSM are hiring contractors after they sign confidentiality agreements to built these S&M parlors on the premises. Everything is done in a veil of secrecy. A well known black couple (in the black community) are not A-list but are desperately trying to keep up by purchasing expensive gear and hosting S&M orgies in their newly constructed (S&M) basement. When the wife is not in the mood to role play (dominatrix) in a private session with her husband, they will hire an outside mistress to inflict pain on the husband while she watches. They spend so much money on this fetish, they have allegedly fallen behind on their bills (often between jobs) but they can't seem to shake the addiction they have for deviate sex. One famous black director has numerous women (starving models/actresses) come up to his home when he's in the mood to play. He holds S&M auditions, asking them questions about their personal life and he usually targets attractive single mothers who are vanilla-because in his mind, they will tolerate more (pain) because they really need the money. He likes to use whips on women, violently, often leaving marks. After the session, he pays them $5,000 to get lost. These women are also signed to secrecy agreements before they enter his home. Salli Richardson and Dondre Whitfield. The director-John Singleton

So, this B list television actress from a very hit show that ended not so long ago, was walking through a park close to her home when she saw two girls who were about ten playing on the swings. One of the girls had a doll in her hand which she was swinging in a circle. She didn't pay that close of attention but thought that there was a nanny or mom watching the pair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash and a mixed breed dog launched through the air and grabbed the doll from the girl's hand. The girl immediately tried to get the doll back from the dog and was bitten really hard on her arm. She started screaming, let go of the doll, and the dog ran away with the doll. No one came to help the little girl at all. The alleged nanny was not actually the nanny and did nothing to help and instead walked away from the scene. The dog's owner? There was no one there at all with the girls. Our actress rushed over to the injured girl and saw that the dog had left teeth prints but had not broken the skin. The actress calmed the girl down long enough so she could get an address for the girl. It was a house about a half a block from the park. Our actress took both the girl and her friend back to the injured girl's house, and explained everything to the mother of the girl. The girl's mom had apparently run back to the house because she had thought she had left the gas on on their stove and was just opening the door to go back to the park as our actress came up with the two girls. She gave the woman her name and contact information, but no one recognized our actresses name. Later that day, our actress bought a new doll and had it sent to the girl to make up for the one that was taken by the dog.
Laura Prepon

Which fair-haired actor who has been battling personal demons was seen stumbling out of a swank Miami Beach hot-spot on March 2nd? "He was totally out of it," a witness tells Star. "His eyes were completely glazed over."
Owen Wilson

1. Which political big wig's secret sex fantasy involves being choked by his lady lovers in the bedroom?

2. Which Academy Award-winning actress is so self-conscious she can't have any mirrors in her New York townhouse? She instructed her decorator to hang a portrait above the bathroom sink in lieu of a looking glass.

(STUNTIN): This black male celebrity wants to be a superstar so bad, that he will do anything, and I mean anything, to achieve this goal. Like many celebrities, he is also responsible for staging publicity stunts and incidents, his nickname is the "stuntmaster." He even thought he would blow up after one of these publicity stunts. He mistakenly thought rich Hollywood women would be seeking him out for sex and help with the bills, he wanted to be a "kept man/gigolo." He even told his boyz, he would get a rich sugar mama out of the deal, didn't happen. Despite this letdown, he still parades around town like the ultimate playa with game on lock! He lives way above his means and is barely surviving but he continues to go on expensive shopping sprees and he also purchases custom made jewelry. His car garage is also valued over $1 million dollars. He is a self-proclaimed freak and there are at least two sex tapes of him that haven't seen the light of day. On one of the tapes, he appears high, in the middle of a menage a trois, with a unconscious girl and a guy. Before this short film ends, the guy is touching and rubbing his backside and they seem to be gravitating towards one another and the girl seems unresponsive. This would not be surprising because one of his boyz is rumored to have an underground sex tape business. He enjoys putting GHB in the drinks of women and filming them having sex. He then sells the tapes on the black market over the internet. He is currently being investigated for this practice. Meanwhile, our male celebrity is struttin and stuntin all over Black Hollywood like he is the man. In reality, he is barely keeping a roof over his head and barely keeping up with his car notes. If it wasn't for the generosity of family and friends, he would be possibly living in a homeless shelter. Ray J

On Saturday night I was supposed to go to this Young Hollywood party. However, I wasn't feeling really young, and so decided to not be the guy who goes to try and make himself feel young or to pick up women who are less than half your age. Hello Bill Maher. Yes, he was there. The oldest in the crowd by about a decade. At one point I had wanted to go because I had planned on playing a game that I really enjoy but had not played in awhile. I was going to go to the party as Hans. A portly banker from Germany complete with German accent and some German vocabulary thrown in for good measure. I was going to get drunk off my ass and introduce everyone to my exchange student companion. Lots of people play similar games when they go to bars or such, but in this game, you know in advance what you are going to do and stick with it no matter what. I used to play the game all the time. Back in the day, I was friends with an A lister. Not like best man at a wedding friends, but before he hit it big with one really huge movie, he would go out often and about a third of the time he would drag me along. To be dragged along you had to be committed to the game. Although our Academy Award nominated actor had not had the huge hit at the time, he was known and was recognized not so much by name, but as, "hey aren't you the guy who was in... you were so good." This actor is an incredible actor, and he felt that to enjoy going out, you needed to be able to truly let go which was not possible if you were trying to protect your brand such as it is, and so came up with these elaborate characters. This was truly method acting. When he decided to portray a stockbroker with a serious coke habit, he spent the entire party shoving coke up his nose like it was the last coke on earth. This party just happened to be right after he had just got some of the best reviews in his career, and I don't know if he consciously or unconsciously chose a character that would really allow him to forget for a night, or what. The thing is that even though he sucked up a ton of coke that night, it was the only time I ever saw him doing it. He just really got into these characters. There was one party where he looked someone who just walked off a 70's porn set down to the polyester pants, open shirt, gold medallion, and Tom Selleck mustache. It was like a Halloween costume, but he bet everyone he knew that he would find at least one woman who would actually go home with him. He did better than that and actually had two women almost coming to blows over this guy because they both wanted to go home with him. As he became more well known it was harder to get away with doing them because no matter what he did, or what role he took on, invariably someone would recognize him and ask him what he was doing and at that point he would just go home. I know when he had his huge blockbuster, he was professionally happy, but it effectively put an end to his theater within a party that he loved so much and didn't give him an outlet to really just let go and be whoever he wanted to be for just a night. Now, he just hangs out at home with a friend or two and his current girlfriend of the day, but whenever I am at a party and see someone who clearly does not belong or is way over the top, I always look really closely to see if maybe he has decided to give it one more shot.
Leo DiCaprio

How He Holds Her: Opportunity knocks but the past also drags. She has much to look forward to, and big shoes to fill, but the work is steady and only getting steadier and being attached to highly anticipated projects never hurts either. Only slight problem… the man in her life isn’t exactly supportive. Part jealousy, part insecurity, and he knows how to hold her, even though she’d much rather, personally and professionally, be rid of the baggage. Unfortunately he is unscrupulously forcing her to love him by good old fashioned blackmail. Because somehow she found herself in a delicate situation not too long ago and decided not to join the 08/08/08 sweepstakes. When she took care of it without his blessing, he hit the roof, and threatened to go public. She and her management have placated him for now. But it’s the kind of scandal that would not sit well with the MiniVan Majority. And so she’s waiting it out. Waiting for the right time to cut him loose, while he keeps pressing to make their commitment more permanent. Megan Fox

#1 - What is it about Gossip Girl and same sex love. First you have all these rumors about JC Chasez and Chace Crawford getting it on in some poolside cabana at the Roosevelt Hotel, and now you have one of the actresses on the show involved in a same sex relationship with another actress on the same network. Must be the water or something.

#2 - When you are trolling the internet looking for a hooker, the last thing either party wants is to be recognized. There is a very popular reality show on right now. At one point, one of the women on the show just was there one second and gone the next. It may have something to do with the fact that when a producer of the show hired an escort, our reality starlet was the one who showed up. Since they both had something on the other, an agreement was quickly reached and our reality star turned escort was given a nice chunk of change in return for leaving the show and never talking about it again. Well someone is talking about it, and somehow I don't think it is our married producer. "Rock of Love 2"- Kristy Jo; Kim from ANTM

She was considered hot when she hit the scene! She was a video siren. She loved dating rappers and ballers who pushed major weight. She always had to be the center of attention and she did whatever it took to be noticed and she wasn't above having sex on the set with rappers and boasting about her X-rated skills. Her game and hustle was tight but she was disappointed that she never rose above jump-off status and hip-hop stars often tossed her aside after sleeping with her. She also had a problem with her pay, she only received $500 per video. This small fee didn't feed the appetite of this material girl. After a few years, her work began to fall off as new and eager hotties appeared on the scene. They were also younger. When she heard about a fellow video girl contracting herpes from a rapper and another being HIV-positive. It was time to bounce. She had become addicted to the glamorous life and wanted to maintain it. She decided to turn to online prostitution. She currently advertises on a website and has blurred her face but we have received confirmation that it is her. She's an incall/outcall call girl who charges $1,000 per hour and her customers are mainly white men who don't recognize her from her hip-hop video days. Hobbyists also give her good reviews on her sexual performance. She often takes her friends out to expensive dinners, she rolls around town in expensive whips and she's blinged out. But, people are whispering and wondering how she's able to maintain this type of lifestyle without working a regular job. It's only a matter of time before the truth leaks out.
Jayde Steele

#1 - This aging comic B list actor with a very famous marriage and divorce was so coked out at a party over the weekend that he never stayed in one spot longer than 30 seconds. By the end of the night he was drenched in sweat and had gone through his entire stash.
Tom Arnold

#2 - This lesser known B list actor of an acting family has always been considered to be the good one. Married and allegedly happy to a celebrity, his marriage is on the rocks. The main culprit is a little rock that he can't get enough of and which he got hooked on thanks to someone very close to him who is not his wife. Billy Baldwin (brother Daniel); Casey Affleck (brother Ben)

#1 - This B/C list television actress who was one of the stars of a very long running hit show is on a new show now. She has made it very clear to producers that she is willing to do anything to stay on the show longer and is already dropping hints about how she is going to make sure she is the main focus of the show.
Michelle Trachtenberg "Gossip Girl"

#2 - Another of my this is gold in another country items comes from Korea. This 20 something actress who became famous for something before turning to acting has been in films and television shows, but she is about to become more known for her affair with the head of a major company in Korea. Seems the guy filmed one of their sessions and our guy's wife has a copy of the tape. Apparently the wife screened it for a few of her friends. Kelly Choi

1. He’s talented, very successful, he’s got lots of money, but he doesn’t have a wife or a girlfriend. The pressure is on him to find somebody. He has tried to hook up with supermodels and actresses, but no one is willing to be in a fake relationship with him despite his wealth and fame.
Tyler Perry

2. This aging Basketball Star has been hanging out with groupies who are young enough to be his daughter. The former Hoopster looks like a fool as he shows them off while they are spending his money. Michael Jordan

3. This Famous Singer has stopped eating. She is currently pushing her new album and she wants to look thin and fabulous, but her friends fear she may start looking anorexic. Janet Jackson

One Whipping Oy Blind Vice: Snarla Sledgehammer isn’t known for being subtle. She’s made her name—some say living—by being entirely in-your-face, whether you deserve it or not. And in the so-hip arena of blogging/TV commentary, the multitalented, attractive-enough babe (who’s got more hair than style sense, to be brutally Snarla-esque about it) currently shines, struts and reigns supreme. But then again, that arguable pro point’s hardly the thrust of this Vice. Several years ago, SSH had a child, Spawna Sledgehammer. Lovely kid, really, but due to Snarla’s overzealous prioritizing of all things kiddie, turned out Ms. S couldn’t even take a dump without consulting her offspring’s homework schedule, much to the chagrin of Snarla’s friends and colleagues, who became increasingly frustrated with being cast aside—always in the name of playdates, and such. Snarla became reliable for snapping at her fancyass fellow workers not to interfere with her all-holy maternal duties. Not wise. But then she made the truly unfortunate choice of repeating the same self-obsessed behavior with trusted confidantes, including Pete Priss-Ass, a well-known fagola fellow boob-tuber and writer, whom Spawna had always leaned on for lengthy bitch sessions. Much to the shock of many, Pete—not exactly a choosy customer in the great grocery store of love (he often squeezed melons he really shoulda stayed away from)—got himself engaged. Stunned, but more so ecstatic, PPA rang up his good amiga, whom he adored, and, absolutely beaming over the phone, invited Snarla & fam to the small, out-of-state ceremony. "It’s not convenient," was SSH’s first reaction. No congrats. No words of good-wishing gooeyness, just a thorough chastising for Pete’s thoughtlessness in selecting a wedding date not conducive to—you guessed it—Spawna’s activity schedule. Ouch! Does Pete have some kinda S&M thing going for his friendships, or did he just not get the memo that hetero day-planning always trumps homo? AND IT AIN’T: Pamela Anderson; Arianna Huffington: Nancy Grace.
Melissa Rivers/Ted Casablanca

68. . PEREZ HILTON 03/27
What lame Canadian band, fronted by a troll of a singer, had to use a voice corrector on MuchOnDemand this week because - yeah - they really suck live??????
Sum 41

69. TED CASABLANCA 03/28 **#2**
One Karma-Killin' Blind Vice: If this one’s true, Butch Spit-Spat should haul out a friggin’ movie about it—after all, isn’t that something he does rather well? BSS, never one to be exactly primo to the ladies after bedding them, was nevertheless around one of them long enough to father a kid, now a teenager. And according to an outraged acquaintance of Blondie-Babe, a rising young twentysomething honey-haired actress, Blondie’s screwing Butch’s 15-year-old boy. Said amigo is trying to get B2 hauled into jail, much to the Spit-Spat boy’s great dissatisfaction, I’m sure. Jeez. Don’t know whether to call the cops or Entertainment Tonight on this one. Both would treat the story the same, I suspect. AND IT AIN’T: Michael Madsen; Will Smith; Jack Nicholson
Billy Bob Thornton

East Coast: The new trend among a few black players in the NBA is wife swapping. A player from a East Coast team often swaps his wife with another player and vice versa on an irregular basis. They are both trying to add spice to their marriage and they are best friends on the team. Before this agreed up arrangement, one of the players was having an affair with his personal assistant. Sadly, the wives will do anything to hold on to their men, even if they're not comfortable with it. One defends the practice by saying, "Well, at least I know the woman my husband is having sex with and he knows the man I'm having sex with."

West Coast: You don't have to be a sports fan to know who this NBA star is. The open marriage he shares with his wife is slowly leaking out. She found out about his numerous outside kids as well as his jump-off and wifey. She threatened to take him to the cleaners unless he agreed to an open marriage. She got involved with another NBA player. Rumor has it, our star had him traded. They recently attended a very affluent and discreet swingers event for celebrities. He participated in a group orgy but became enraged when his wife engaged in sex with a celebrity at the party. He grabbed her and made a scene, telling her, "you are the mother of my kids, I dare you!" despite the fact he participated in an orgy. When she brought this up, he said, "men have different needs than women, accept it." According to our source, after she dressed, he roughly grabbed her by the arm and they exited the party.
(1) Two East Coast players wife-swapping: Stephon Marbury & Jamal Crawford
(2) West Coast well-known star with an open-marriage: Kobe Bryant
(3) West Coast player traded: Caron Butler

71. HOLY MOLY 03/28
Which US male solo artist spent so much on cocaine for him and his movie star missus that the dealer was able to emigrate to Australia and put herself through medical school?

#1 - This is quite the pair. A former adult film actress and a member of a girl's singing group were all over each other at a recent event. They also seemed to go the bathroom together every five minutes. Weak bladders I guess.
Aubrey O Day and Jenna Jameson

#2 - Another singer. This one is young and married and female, and is definitely an A list singer if there were such a category. Not married to a celebrity so you can just take that Avril Lavigne guess right out of your head. Seems the thing they most enjoy in their sex life is bringing in another person. Always guys. Seems our young husband can't quite decide which team he is playing for and likes the extra boost that a guy brings to the bedroom. LeAnn Rimes

#3 - This former B list television actress on a very hit network show with a very catchy name is now a C lister. It is no wonder her career is in the crapper if she treated her co-workers the way she treats her husband. At a party this week, she yelled at him not once, not twice, but at least three times always in front of people. "Idiot," "Can't believe I'm married to you," and "I told you no ice," were just some of the things she made sure everyone heard. Her husband just seemed to put up with it and weakly smiled when people looked his way. Courteney Cox/David Arquette

#4 - Most of the time when you are having an affair with a co-worker it is easy to keep your spouse away from the co-worker. But what do you do when you have to walk the red carpet with your wife, while your mistress is standing right next to you and starts chatting with your wife? Such was the case this week during one of the press events for new television shows. The show is award winning and brilliant. A drama. The actress is a C lister with a few starring roles in a couple of television shows. The married actor is also C list with this show being his first big break. "Mad Men" Christina Hendricks and Rich Sommer

73. NY POST 03/30
1. WHICH hip-hop mogul needed to make an emergency stop on the Southern State Parkway last Sunday at 6:30 p.m.? After being caught in a long rubbernecking delay, the very recognizable music/fashion entrepreneur had his chauffeur pull over his Bentley - or was it a Rolls? - so he could relieve himself.
P. Diddy

2. WHAT top cable news executive is repeatedly cheating on his wife with younger women? He even recently made a play for one of his on-air babes.

"X-RATED" Hollywood celebrities and sports figures may want to slow their flow and stop booking these "name status," porn stars (male and female) for private parties and sexual favors. Two of the X-rated (HIV infected) stars mentioned above, at the top of the page have been known to do do private parties for white and black celebrities where sex was sometimes involved. Some of these stars are shaking in their boots, others maintain an invincible attitude. Numerous married couples in Hollywood have also been known to book a female porn star and in one case, a transvestite hooker for 3-ways. A black adult star (West Coast) once informed us that a black superstar NFL player offered to pay her big bucks if she would participate in a "raw dog" train with him and two of his black teammates. She declined but they were able to persuade another black porn star (West Coast) to do it despite health concerns. Another, black NFL "bad boy" star had his rep contact a blonde porn star to service him and she was informed she would be paid extra if she became submissive to the physical abuse that he likes to dish out prior to sex, (foreplay). And, a certain rapper (extremely famous) does his dirt on the low. He's very private in regards to his personal life and he has a taste for the ladies but he also likes the T-girls and goes out of his way to hide it. One T-girl in particular-he hooks up with in Hollywood. "She's" considered top of the line, among the T-girl set (call girls). She's paid a lot of money to keep their encounters secretive. She works for the same agency that a music (behind the scenes) black superstar patronizes. He books male hustlers on the sly despite two marriages. Again, the hustler is paid a lot of money to keep quiet about their relationship as the celebrity continues to masquerade as a straight man for the public. You guys may want to change escort agencies because we have breached the security on this one.

black superstar NFL player: Deion Sanders; Michael Irvin
black "bad boy" star: Ray Lewis; Pacman Jones; Jamal Lewis
rapper: LL Cool J; Jay-Z
music (behind the scenes) black superstar: Dr. Dre

Which emerging starlet working on a high profile project supposedly did something to her face, particularly her lips, that didn’t go over so well with her directors and producers? This, combined with her sh*tty attitude, has led to a temporary dismissal. She’s been told to get off the set for a week and straighten herself out…and to hopefully come back with her features restored. If it’s possible, that is. Worse still – a few of her scenes have now been rewritten for her female co-star. So she’s losing respect AND air time. It’s the air time that hurts the most.
Samaire Armstrong; Megan Fox

#1 - This is more of a general thing since I could not even begin to describe the kids involved since I have no idea what tween show they are on and how you can blind them. BUT, who says drugs don't start young. There were at least two groups of 3-4 tweens all under 16 or 17 who passed around joints all night long on Saturday at the Kids Choice Awards. Nice huh?
Demi Lovato/Miley Cyrus/William Moseley/Ryan Sheckler/Jennette McCurdy (I know it seems as if a Jonas Brother would be involved but I don't see them in my notes anywhere)

#2 - This engagement announcement is a nice effort, but there will never be a marriage. Think Billy Zane and Kelly Brook. Jamie Lynn Spears (and she never did get married to that guy because the whole thing was fake like Billy and Kelly)

#3 - This B list film actress with a nose for paparazzi disappeared off the radar screen for a few days. Public stories professed one thing while in reality our actress spent a few days with a foreign billionaire. You do the math. Lindsay Lohan (doing it even back in the day)

Could it be that a certain "Idol" hopeful is getting beaten weekly? And I don't mean in the competition. I mean at home. Sources tell me that a parental figure is quite demanding, and when there's a bum note, a tuning problem, or even if he's perfect, the whooping begins. God help him when he gets voted off. Yes, it's a he (well, kinda). David Archuleta

78. NY DAILY NEWS 04/01
Which small-screen actress has been texting and fawning over and otherwise smothering her '90s TV megastar boyfriend, just after her PR leaked the relationship to the press? At this rate, she might have to cast a new beau for next season.

This A list film actress has a new guy. He is also an actor. B list. Television primarily. The good thing about their relationship is that she hasn't done any coke since they started dating. Or pills, or drinking. She does have to deal with his ex though who isn't too happy about being dumped for the actress.
Drew Barrymore/Justin Long/Kaitlin Doubleday

Frakked-Up Fairy Tales, Take One!
**watch video**
#1. Princess: Emily Proctor "CSI: Miami"
#2. Sultan: Jeff Leiber "Lost"
#3. Troll: BJ Novak "The Office"

Frakked-Up Fairy Tales, Take Two! **watch video**
#1. Pixie:
Jeremy Piven

#2 Horny Toad:
      Fickle Fairy:

#1: (STAR STRUCK) She jumped at the chance of having "15 minutes of fame," when she auditioned for a reality TV show. She was nervous during the screening, especially the medical portion, since several girls had already been dismissed for having a STD. Due to her promiscuous lifestyle, she was shocked when she passed the physical. She milked every opportunity affiliated with this show and allegedly slept with the star of the show on numerous occasions. She also had the opportunity to meet rappers, athletes and singers and she relished in the limelight; attending various parties. She slept with so many men, she lost count and she was devastated when none of them "put her on." When the next season of the show aired, she became yesterday's news and the party invites stopped arriving. Her 15 minutes didn't work out as she planned, she had hoped to snag a rich rapper or athlete. The last we heard, she was contemplating having a baby for welfare benefits.
"Flavor of Love" Hoopz

#2: (SHUNNED) Backstory: She may have been successful and famous but a lot of men in her community were not proud of her success because it was common knowledge that she slept with a lot of black men to achieve stardom. Once, when she was out in public with friends, we received reports that two men (of the same ethnicity) got loud with her and one called her a n***er lover and the other one spit on her. Her male relatives were also disappointed in her. This led to heavy drinking and drugs. Anna Nicole Smith; Eva Mendes; Carmen Electra

82. NY DAILY NEWS 04/02
Which lead actor in a hit ensemble TV show brags that a female conquest isn't complete unless at least one of his hotel room neighbors calls security about the noise?
Jeremy Piven

This one kind of blew me away because this B+ film actor in a famous family is not generally known for being rude or a jackass. Maybe he was just having a bad day. We have a parking lot in front of a grocery store. there are several cars backed up in one of the lanes in the parking lot. The cars are all waiting for a van with handicapped tags to try and fit into a handicapped space. They took the angle wrong and are doing the back up and turn, back up and turn until they can get in the space. Our actor is about two cars back in this line and just will not lay off the horn. Holding it down for 5-10 seconds a time and yelling out his window also. Well the van is finally parked, and as the cars begin to stream by, our actor opens the passenger window and yells at the man who is just now emerging from the van. Our actor then finds a spot, and on his way to the front door of the store catches up with the man who is walking as slow as he was driving and lays into him again. Our actor says he is going to call the DMV and that the man should not have a license and blah blah blah. Two women come over to the man and help him to the store which causes our actor to back off and go about his business. His business was buying a shopping cart full of wine and booze.
Jeff Bridges

1. These good looking performers were America's Sweethearts and their divorce sent shockwaves through Hollywood. The real reason they split up: He brought her a gift she didn't like. HERPES! That's how she figured out he was cheating. Her new boyfriend doesn't mind because he got the SAME gift from a cheating girlfriend!
Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillippe and Jake Gyllenhaal/Kirsten Dunst

2. A 2001 Hollywood Whodunit: This young man comes from Hollywood royalty - both parents are famous and talented. He's gay but his family learned to accept his sexuality. But they'd never approve of his foolish and risky behavior if they knew what he's been up to. He frequents a West Hollywood supermarket popular with gay men and cruises the aisles looking for quickies. Several times a week he visits the store and scores almost every time, using the store's bathroom for his sexual adventures. Employees know what he's up to, but since his family owns stock in the chain, they're afraid to do anything about it.

85. NY DAILY NEWS 04/03
Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star.

#1 - Apparently someone is living out whatever fantasies they can think of. This Academy Award winning/nominated A list film actor and his girlfriend decided to go car shopping. They picked out a modest $150,000 car to take for a little test drive. When they got back an hour later, they said thanks, but no thanks to the salesperson and drove off. Inside the car was the smell of sex and a used condom. Apparently someone decided not to clean up after themselves. The owner of the dealership placed a call to our actor to say that he did not find it humorous and was not sure if the car would be able to sell now because of the smell and was going to contact his attorneys. Our actor then decided that perhaps he ought to just go ahead and buy the car.
Sean Penn

#2 - This rock star's divorce has been so acrimonious (nice word huh?) and he hates his C list ex so much that he loves calling her up and talking to her or leaving messages while he has having sex with whatever woman he happens to be with him at that time. Nikki Sixx/Donna D'Errico

These two celebrities are trying to put their lives together and get their careers back on track. In the meantime, their teenage daughter is picking up where they left off. She is so wild and out of control, she could pop up on Girls Gone Wild any minute. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown

One Bisexual Bejeweled Blind Vice: Fey Oiled-Tush is a very rich man. He’s also a very desperate man, as so many celebrated Hollywood players ultimately are. After all, doesn’t success just beget the desire for more success—rather than satisfaction? Always. Just ask Michael Eisner, Mike Ovitz, Meg Ryan and assorted other colossal check cashers who once thought the green would never stop coming, only to see the influx dwindle considerably. But this Vice ain’t about power, it’s about fag-hag ass kissing, sorry. Margarita Screwed-'Em-All is a reigning queen of Tinseltown. And even though she doesn’t go out much, she sure as hell did at one time—always with one of her myriad lovers/husbands/pets. (Paris was so not the first to make a pooch a photo-op accoutrement, Margarita beat her on that score ages ago.) Instead, M-babe stays home at her art-filled mansion (which is a little on the tacky side, I must say, unless you prefer brass deer next to your masterpieces and that sort of overpriced mishmash style). However, she loves to receive. Particularly the gays. True, she’s doing it less nowadays, but still, a flaming fagola—along with fewer and fewer members of Screwed-Em’-All’s own fam—still makes it up past M.S.’s fancy gates. And Fey, utterly distraught by the current downturn of his previously magical movie touch and sorely needing a pick-me-up, was dying to be one of them recently. Don’t think FOT mentioned anything about bringing the wife-unit when he—and not one of his minions—rang up Margarita’s secretary to request an audience. "Get him to buy me those jewels I liked," Ms. S barked, via her assistant, back to Fey, message being no rocks, no tush pecking. So Mr. Oiled-Tush, armed with the location of the baubles that tickled Margarita so, actually went and picked out a piece from the overpriced jeweler. Had it delivered pronto to Margarita, who, after tearing open the box which contained a sweet little piece, screamed: "One! He only got me one?" Indeed, Fey had made the lethal error of purchasing not an assortment of expensive sparklers for Margarita to choose from—but only one already-selected lonely little lovely. Not good. Result being, there was no audience. And the gift was not returned, bitch you very much. Poor Fey. What will he do for his mood-altering now, I wonder? Start up with the boys again? AND IT AIN’T: Will Smith; Chris Rock; Brendan Fraser.

Margarita Screwed-'Em-All: ElizabethTaylor
Mr. Oiled-Tush:
Tom Cruise; John Travolta

(ANOTHER MYSPACE SEX HUSTLER) He is the significant other of a "major" female celebrity. They present a strong family front but in the past, she caught him having sex with a close friend and forgave him. This man is a a walking scandal. He currently has two households (which includes her's) with children and now he's soliciting women off his myspace page. And, he also has an apartment in Los Angeles (paid for by his significant other) where he hooks up with his myspace conquests. He considers himself a celebrity by association and a few of the women seem to be fans of her's, despite this-they want to bed him so they can tell others they had her man. Oddly, his requirements are: You must be light skinned and shapely. He's getting so much sexual action off myspace, he can barely keep up. When the myspace women ask about his famous woman, he's talks about her like a dog and tries to deny their relationship. And, he appears ashamed of her.
Lauryn Hill and Rohan Marley

Which proud new papa cheated on his fiancée two years ago with a famous starlet? The two were hanging at a private bash in his apartment when the mood turned a little lustful.

Which publicist for the wife of one of Hollywood's biggest old school action stars doubles as a rep for her skin-care range? A journalist who recently expressed polite interest in the line was offered the chance to buy some.
Publicist for: Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin; Tova and Ernest Borgnine

Why She’s So Cranky: She isn’t eating. She hasn’t been eating for weeks, hellbent on losing what she calls some extra padding but what everyone else calls … nothing. There is nothing to lose. But still she needs to lose it. Started dieting furiously a couple of months ago but wasn’t seeing results quickly enough so she’s cut back the food and as a result has turned into a total hag, chewing people out during production meetings, yelling at catering staff for daring to bring food near her, and getting into a little shoving match with her own publicist, who has the unfortunate position of having to attend to her as she ramps up promotion, over scheduling. On the plus side, she is indeed growing ever slimmer. But the thinness is now accompanied by a telltale glassy look in her eyes which isn’t entirely unfamiliar. Being skinny can make you dependent and cranky and weak. Which is why she hasn’t been able to finish a day’s work all week, always begging off early, complaining of the flu, or a migraine...and now the project is behind schedule, her agent has been called, and a talking-to is in the works. Career not in jeopardy… yet. But probably soon if she doesn’t start eating.
Janet Jackson; Kate Hudson

#1 - This fairly recently married B list film and television actress also known for something else, and it isn't singing doesn't want her most recent marriage to end. Knowing she will get a lot of crap for divorcing so soon, she is going to stick it out by just not seeing her husband. Right now they try and do everything apart. The husband is up for it because he loves being known for having married our actress in the first place, and he is hoping that it works out. If I were him, I wouldn't hold my breath. (No, it isn't Katherine Heigl)

#2 - This singer of a very popular hard rock band is having his own marriage problems, but it is nothing his wife has done. It is more of what he has done, and so now in an effort to save his marriage to this famous offspring he is going to anger management classes and rehab.

#3 - This television celebrity chef professes lots of love for his wife. The problem he is that he is also professing it to his girlfriend of six months. Bobby Flay

#4 - This television host refused to say anything to anyone when she went to a recent event. She posed for photos and made it look like she was enjoying herself and mingling, but in reality, she ignored everyone who spoke to her. At one point even turning her face to avoid talking to someone. Total time at even was about 15 minutes. Total amount of people she ticked off was about the same. Tyra Banks

1. Dirty Money:
--Rewind: Barbara McNair's husband was an alleged mob soldier named Rick Manzi. Allegedly, he was a hit man and he also ordered hits. Manzi kept McNair living in style and lavished her with expensive gifts until his murder in 1976.
--Fast Forward (Dirty Money): We have another R&B female singer who has a taste for the wiseguys in Las Vegas and has been given the keys to a newly furnished home and a Mercedes Benz by her goodfella associates, who is she? Natalie Cole; Keisha Cole

2. Sexy Money:
--Rewind: Supermodel Naomi Campbell is often lavished with expensive gifts from male royals all over the world.
--Fast Forward: We have a similar situation going on with a famous female celebrity who receives over $2 million dollars a year in jewelry sent to her by rich male admirers/fans, overseas. Some of these men are connected to royal families. A Maybach was also shipped to her. Who is she? Mariah Carey; Vanessa Williams

3. Tidbit: One female rapper is often courted by rich men. She has received a six figure sports car from one of her male admirers and she once received a $110,000 diamond bracelet. Who is she? Eve; Lil' Kim

Normally I would probably skip this one because of who it is, but what happened just deserves to be told because I definitely have not seen it happen before at such a public event. This guy is a C lister. He is an incredible actor and you would know his face, but probably not his name. Plays and films are what he does the most. He has been in some of the biggest films around. He is a guy that will one day get just that perfect role and get a supporting actor nod from Oscar. He is that good. He started acting when he was a kid and is in one of my favorite films of all time. Well, at an event this weekend, he took using drugs to a whole new extreme. There was no furtive coke use or smoking a joint out back. Nope, this guy did meth and lots of it. In the bathroom, outside during breaks in the event. Didn't care who saw him, didn't care where he did it. Carried the damn pipe in his hand when he wasn't using it. The thing is no one stopped him. No one turned him in, and by the end of the evening the guy was wired out of his mind. Crazy, crazy, crazy and then, just like that he was gone. He had been loud and obnoxious and crazy for so long, and then everyone realized the noise level had dropped and he was gone. No one even saw him leave.
Joseph Gordon Levitt

Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster's dad, smoked pot in the star's trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned. Harrison Ford & Shia LeBouf "Indiana Jones"

Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs. won't find out.
Rande Gerber, married to Cindy Crawford; Rod Stewart/Penny Lancaster

Which little Punk Ass…Was smiley smiley when the cameras were rolling this weekend and sweet as pie in public, with a baby doll voice to match a cute baby doll dress but was an ungrateful little bitch behind the scenes at an awards show? She turned up at sound check and immediately asked "when can I leave?" Then during her rehearsal she completely screwed up the second half of her set, blaming her poor performance on the keyboards, and the piano, and every other instrument except her voice and the nonsense going on in her head. She also required the use of a teleprompter. For her own songs!!! During the telecast, when it became evident she would be going home empty handed, she refused to sit in the audience when her categories were presented, preferring instead to stay backstage even after her performance like a sulky baby. Or maybe she was brushing up on geography. She appears to need a few lessons these days. Avril Lavigne

This world famous supermodel is head over heels in love. Or is she? Maybe she is just pretending to be in love with her new guy so he won't be suspicious when she tells him she is pregnant. Hopefully he won't find out that he isn't the real daddy. Oh, and hopefully the real daddy's B/A- list film actress girlfriend won't find out either. Oh, and I just realized that none of the participants in this little drama are Americans. In fact, I don't think any of the four people are even from the same country.
supermodel: Elle MacPherson
new guy: Vito Scnable
real daddy: Francois-Henri Pinault
B/A - list film actress girlfriend: Salma Hayek

"SONG BIRD" This black female celebrity comes across as modest. In reality, she is not well liked among her peers due to her superior attitude, airs, and diva antics. She's rude, mean and she has problems with other celebrities (female and male) of equal statue. If you are a background singer or producer, she's content but her arrogance is so out of control, she snubs other celebrities on a constant basis. Her husband benefited career wise off her celebrity. Now, their marriage status is kept a secret but rumors persist that he even grew tired of her attitude and unreasonable demands. He was often reminded, that he was lucky to be married to her. She makes a decent living off royalties but when she tours, she expects the tab to be picked up for her nannies. It's rumored that she continues to have "mommy" issues and she especially lashes out at women because she felt abandoned as a child.
Anita Baker

101. NY DAILY NEWS 04/09
Which divorced celebs, who still share a PR, are driving the poor flack crazy trying to plant mean stories about each other?

I figure since I am always rightfully bashing Scientology, I thought I would share something about the "religion" of another actor. This late 20 something A-/B+ film actor has a little secret that belies his primarily clean cut image. He is a devout follower of Anton LaVey. He has a first edition Satanic Bible which was personally signed by LaVey. Our actor also has the number 9 tattooed on himself to signify the nine rituals of the Satanic Church. He even went so far as to purchase some land where he and other followers use to practice many of these rituals.
James Franco

103. NY DAILY NEWS 04/10
Which show keeps its dim-witted if ultra-popular "reality" stars peppy with Adderall supplied by a producer in handfuls between scenes?
"The Hills"

104. PEREZ HILTON 04/10
What once hot TV actress whose career has now gone mushy has resorted to staging photo ops with a paparazzi agency to make money??? Maybe if she spent less on marijuana and more on an acting coach, she might get a job every once!
Mischa Barton

Are you a gay actor looking for a beard? Then look no further. This B/C list actress from at least two very hit television shows is willing to be your beard for a price. Apparently this actress has been approaching actors at parties who the public perceives as gay or are on the fence about and is willing to be their girlfriend for a price. The thing is it gets even better. She is offering more than just the services of a single woman in her 30's to act as a girlfriend. See, our actress is married and her celebrity husband is completely on board with the plan. Their idea is that any guy who can break up a marriage or at least appear to break up a marriage must be straight, at least in the eyes of the public. Meanwhile, the gay actor can enjoy fun times with our actress' husband who happens to like playing on both sides of the fence. This just has win/win written all over it doesn't it.

1. This young Actress is unlucky in love despite her success. First there was the forbidden romance with the Oscar Winner. Now her romance with a football player has ended. Will this lady ever find love? Sanaa Lathan (Denzel Washington and Wale Ogunleye)

2. This Veteran R&B Singer is also looking for love. She recently divorced her husband. He left her because he could no longer tolerate her Diva antics and nasty attitude. This Singer is very talented, but she has the worst attitude. She wants to remarry, but can she find a man who can put up with her behavior? Anita Baker

One Special Scratch-'n'-Sniff Blind Vice: Break out your umbrellas and stay out of the splash zone, Super Duper Cooper strikes again. Our sexed-out insiders are spilling about some other naughty boudoir behavior SDC has been up to besides becoming an Olympian at preorgasmic water sports, ugh. Supes seems to like his female fans almost as much as he likes his steamy Hollywood girlfriends, and he treats both varieties of vixens with about the same amount of respect. The well-liked lothario scoops up the gals and spits 'em back out just as quickly, especially the ones who accidentally get knocked up 'cause of his encounters. Guy’s a low-down dawg, though his puppy puss makes him seem so much more innocent. Mr. Duper Cooper even marks his territory like man’s best four-legged pal: He’s been known to have his adoring fans line up against a wall, drop trou and go to town sniffing their derrieres like they were at the Laurel Canyon pooch park. Sounds kinda hot, but kinda gross. Don’t think this was just hazing for entry into the fan club—Cooper’s famous ex-flame was also privy to this way-too-personal inspection. A bit too absurd for your prude tastes in titillation? We’re more confused than disgusted, since SDC also likes to throw on some gay porn while bedding his beauties. In fact, our too-close-for-comfort sources swear Duper’s desktop screensaver is none other than the male member, in its full pixilated 'n' engorged glory. Is this dude bisexual, or trying to cover up all the oft-blogged-about gay rumors by romancing so many willing ladies? Either way, he needs to be put on a leash before we turn back around to liking this lush lad. AND IT AIN’T: Peter Wentz; Chace Crawford; Tom Brady
John Mayer/Jessica Simpson

Introduction: The following information was supplied by one of our most trusted and reliable sources but the information is still considered allegations because the subjects did not admit to us "they are infected,"(although the former girlfriend of one of the subjects told us he had HIV when they were happily going together, which would be considered hearsay in a court of law) nevertheless, we cannot notify the health department regarding allegations but according to the following information, some of the women may step up and do the right thing. Black celebrities in rap, TV and film, go out of their way to hide their HIV-status because it would affect their livelihood and personal life. From physical appearances, you can no longer tell if a person is infected because of the AIDS cocktail medication. Sadly, rumors continue to persist about several black celebrities who are infected with the virus. A rapper who did a bid in prison was allegedly held down and gang raped while he served time behind bars. He became bitter but at the same time adjusted to homosexual sex. When he was released, he fit nicely into the downlow lifestyle and he continues to sleep with men and women. Allegedly, he got infected in the joint and last we heard, the health department was notified. We don't know the outcome and his accuser may have recanted or was paid off. A rap mogul once said that over 50 percent of rappers are bi-sexual. He may be right, we continue to hear about this southern rapper who also has the HIV virus. Groupies are aware of the rumors but continue to take a chance with their lives because he's famous. A few of this groupies have no problem with raw dog sex because it increases their chance for pregnancy and a payday. Although it was rumored that a black male celebrity had HIV, a few famous black women in entertainment refused to believe it. Now, both women, somehow found out the rumors were true and both have dropped from the limelight because they slept with him on a few occasions, unprotected. They are no longer on the scene and are scared to death, as far as we know, they have tested negative thus far but they won't report him because it will reveal-they were exposed to the virus and this would affect their livelihood and personal life. One of his conquests on the East Coast is reportedly thinking about reporting him to the health department. This male celebrity, and a few professional ballers infected with herpes-once belonged to this underground online "STD" dating site (big on discretion) until it went under. We don't know if they had sexual encounters with any members before the site went out of business.

1. Rapper who did a bid in prison: Cassidy
2. Rap Mogul who said 50% of rappers are bi:
3. Southern Rapper: Shawty Lo; Gucci Mayne; Lil Jon; Trick Daddy
4. Black Celebrity: Darius Mcrary
5. Famous Black woman who slept with Black Celebrity: Karrine
6. Famous Black woman who slept with Black Celebrity :Nona Gaye
7. East coast conquest thinking about notifying health dept:
8. STD-Club male celebrity:
9. STD-Club professional baller: Jason Kidd; Michael Vick

109. NY DAILY NEWS 04/11
Which rising young actress was informed at a recent film party that Jane Fonda wanted to meet her? "I don't give a [bleep]," came the jaded response.
Ellen Page

110. HOLY MOLY 04/11
A builder working in London was surprised to see a small girl wandering alone on the streets of Belsize Park. After a brief chat she indicated a house she wanted to go to, so he took her by the hand and led her to the front door. The house's owner, a certain celebrity, answered the door with her more famous celebrity pal behind her and stared at the pair for a second. She then grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her into the house, pausing only to deliver a short, shouty rant to the bewildered builder, along the lines of, 'What are you doing with my daughter?' before slamming the door in the poor fellow's face. Surely a candidate for Celebrity Mum of the Year? Jude Law's ex-wife Sophie Frost and Kate Moss

#1 - This C/B- list female cast member of a former A+ hit show is never seen out and about with the rest of the cast members. They all hang out together for the most part. Notice I said for the most part. However our actress is never included. The reason? She refuses to participate in their partner swapping which they enjoy doing on a fairly regular basis.
Mila Kunis ("That '70s Show") (Literally one week after this blind, I would have changed her rating to B/B+ because of what Forgetting Sarah Marshall did to her career.)

#2 - This former A list female singer, and now probably B based on work, but A in name recognition and diva behavior has a dog. The dog goes everywhere with her, including hotels. Unfortunately for guests and management, our singer doesn't always like having her tiny dog in the room with her and so lets her out to roam free anywhere in the hotel. Apparently the dog is trained to not leave the actual building, but will go anywhere else. And by go, I mean go as in do its business. Our singer's philosophy is that someone will pick up the mess, the dog doesn't bite and if they want her business they will perform this service. What she doesn't know is that her regular hotel chain has caught on and now lock the dog in one room or part of the hotel and release her when the singer comes calling. Whitney Houston

#3 - The whispers are turning into murmurs. This B list celebrity marriage of convenience may be ending. It just doesn't seem to be working out quite like either party envisioned.

#4 - This former network reality star. Network. None of that MTV stuff or cable. We are talking network here. And it wasn't just one of the Bachelor babes or anything. You would know this person's name. She didn't win the contest but everyone has seen her if you know what I mean. Well when she found herself out of money and living back at home, with mouths to feed, she decided to turn to porn. She wears a wig, and does some weird fake accent, but it is her. The thing is that she is not all that attractive and because she won't use her name which would generate publicity, she is forced to do some things that mainstream porn stars wouldn't do all just to make a buck. What? You can't go get a real job? Jenna Lewis "Survivor"

To avoid the prying eyes of the black media, (including Panache, black celebrities have been jet setting off to their own private paradise to do their dirt. But, we have eyes everywhere! Last year, at an function, a black actress only had eyes for an A-list black actor/comic who made a fortune starring in a film franchise. The actress was all over him on the dance floor, they were practically making out (dirty dancing) and she blocked other women from getting near him. They allegedly left together. Prior to this incident and after this incident, this couple has never been seen together in public, again. Also, someone living on the premises of this paradise is allegedly creeping very discreetly with a rich black divorcee who also has her share of fame. A few weeks ago, a young lady, "very well known in the black community" was allegedly invited to this paradise, she was impressed when a private jet was sent to transport her there. The vibe didn't feel right but before she could leave, according to her, allegedly, the unthinkable happened and she hurriedly flew back home. Her identity will shock people. Hint: Not white.

black actress/A-list black actor/comic:
rich black divorcee: Tracy Edmonds
a young lady:

113. NY DAILY NEWS 04/14
Which actress married to a power player is repaying his infidelities with a close friendship of her own with a sporting figure?

114. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 04/14
1. Which lead singer of a band that’s all about giving back and clean living and saving the world abandoned his wife and children for a woman he met online last summer? Steven Page of Bare Naked Ladies

2. Which tv starlet was so hard up for "happy" the other day, she couldn’t stop twitching, resulting in too many wasted takes?

No means no. Unless of course you are a washed up former has been (film A lister/tweener) who thinks every woman still has the hots for him like they did 20 years ago. Apparently back in the 80's our actor - and I use that term very loosely - had one method of hitting on chicks. Apparently he would just walk up to them and grope them. Must have been successful or all the drugs he took imprinted it on his brain because at a recent event, he tried the grope then say hello move at least four times. Although he got yelled at, and almost got his ass kicked, he kept with it. You know what really sucks? It worked for the little wad. Yep, on the fourth or fifth time some star struck caterer at the party loved it and began groping him back. She gave up all pretense of working and just left the event, but only after Mr. Hot Shot showed her off by groping her in front of everyone while he made conversation with his "peers." In at least one of the conversations - with her there - he said that his moves always work and that any night you don't have to pay for it is a great night.
 Corey Feldman

116. NY DAILY NEWS 04/15
Which now-washed up '90s TV star is exasperating his agent by putting all his sexual conquests in touch with the ten-percenter? He talks girls into bed by promising the agent will meet with them. Thomas Calabro Michael from "Melrose Place"

Some of my favorite blind items have come from the accountant and in honor of it being tax day here in the US, I give you the best one he has given me so far for this year. There are plenty more, but this is the best. The very best. It is actually one of the best of all time as far as jaw dropping goes. This A list actor. 95% of the time film. Single and allegedly never married. This is the first year he used this accountant and when he was reviewing the forms he noticed that he was listed as single on the tax forms. Our actor then proceeded to tell the accountant that the actor has been married for many years. The fact that he has only seen his foreign wife once in the interim did not change the fact that he was married. Our actor apparently does send money sometimes to his wife, but apparently does so in his corporate name. The accountant got the feeling that the wife actually has no idea who she is actually married to. Our actor meanwhile loves the deduction that comes with being married. It apparently is the one thing he really enjoys about being married. He also uses it as an excuse when a woman tries to pressure him into marriage. He explains to prospective future brides that although he would love to get married to them he is unfortunately already married and the process for divorce will take a year or two. In the meantime why not just live together or be girlfriend and boyfriend. Invariably the relationship dies out before the divorce becomes final. The actor never starts the paperwork and has never been challenged by the IRS about being married. They must not read the tabloids.
Keanu Reeves

I often wonder why this mega star athlete even bothered to get married. He has at least a dozen jumpoffs, wifey's, strippers and escorts on his payroll. He has to be taking Viagra to keep pace with all these women. When his team played the Houston Rockets. Yet again, he was spotted in a strip club. Although he is by far the richest of the bunch, his teammates were making it rain on the strippers. Meanwhile, one of his boys approached a stripper and promised her a big payday if she danced for his boy. After she finished with her lap dance, he tried to stiff her. She was promised $1,000 but he was offering $300, they finally agreed on $500. He invited this same stripper to his place to watch him have sex with another stripper. During the sex act, his God complex emerged. His conquest was made to feel-it was her benefit to be sleeping with him. He was merely accommodating her. He was also posturing during the act. A real egomaniac. Although he was wrapped up for this sexual encounter, it's rumored that he's gone raw in the past with his various "high risk" women. Will his long suffering wife ever get a clue and leave? Hint: You don't have to be a sports fan to know who this is.
Kobe Bryant; Shaquille O'Neal

This B list television actor who is the star of his own drama series on a network has a very odd sexual habit. It seems that he doesn't actually have sex. Oh, he hits on women and brings them home or more often to a hotel since he is married, but he never actually has sex with him. He acts like he is going to have sex with them, but when push comes to shove, he tells each and every one of his conquests that he prefers watching. So, he has them pleasure themselves while he watches. If they balk, or when they finish, he always says he has an early call and sends them on his way. Never does anything but watches.
Dennis Leary; Michael Chiklis; Hugh Laurie; Vincent D'Onofrio

1. This NBA Superstar constantly cheats on his wife. Years ago, he was involved in a sex scandal, but since getting cleared he has not skipped a beat. Word has it his wife just looks the other way because she likes her high profile life. Kobe Bryant

2. This NBA Player and his celebrity baby mamma are working overtime to save face over his latest scandal. This Baller got caught drunk with his side chick, and the baby mama was furious. So, to get back at him, she let him stay in jail. She recently released a statement saying she’s going to stand by her man, but in reality she wanted to teach him a lesson so he will stop cheating on her. Carmelo Anthony

3. Here’s a special message for someone who needs it… can love your spouse, but don’t let them ruin your career. Usher and Tameka

This is probably not the guy daddy wants her to bring home, so she didn't. The daughter of this fashion guru was spotted at an event getting hot and heavy with a B+ rap star. They had been doing the bathroom runs all night and spent lots of time groping and kissing, but decided not to use the bathroom for doing the dirty. Instead, they made their way outside, got into his limo for 20 minutes and then came back inside looking, well, like they had just spent 20 minutes in the back of a limo doing the nasty. Shortly thereafter, our rap star took his leave, and a different woman home with him.
Allie Hilfiger/Bow Wow

One Return-to-Debauched Blind Vice: Dangling Wrangler’s at it again. You know Dangle-babe: He’s the base-boy the whole world seems to love no matter how many episodes he efs up, (via himself, the law or the ladies). Indeed, the Dangle dude’s been in trouble myriad times with too many drugs, too many women who were married to other men or by just being a plain ol’ mean, drunk bastard. Therefore, the publicist’s quick fix was required (rehab and several staged photo shoots with Dangling looking brow-furrowed and fine with fans and such). Worked for a bit. But, then—as usually happens when one cleans up for a press release instead of for a personal mission—Dangling’s not only back to the booze and slut races, he’s hitting the hard drugs more than ever. Looks like crap, too. But the gals don’t seem to mind—they actually like screwing a famous guy who’s good (for about five minutes these days) with his huge, never-washed zucchini. Alas, even the quickie quickies don’t do it for D.W. any more. Could that be why he’s getting so bored with dumpee broad after dumpee babe that he’s now secretly courting his latest unluckiest girlfriend’s (very underage) daughter? Why the hell don't people like this ever get caught? No, in Hollywood, they get Oscars, don’t they? AND IT AIN’T: Robert Downey Jr.; Christian Slater; Jack Nicholson

123. HOLY MOLY 04/17
1. Which Hollywood A-lister is so obsessed with her looks that she's going to extreme biological lengths to preserve them? Despite taking on more Botox than oxygen on the set of her latest film, she still searches for revolutionary techniques to make herself look younger. The latest treatment apparently involves skin cells being scraped from the area behind the ears and rushed off to a secret laboratory. New cells are then grown and the resulting paste is injected back into the face. And despite paying hand over fist for this money-for-old-rope treatment, she still looks like a shaven spider monkey. And an old one at that.
Renee Zellweger

2. There is a very disturbing story that has reached HM about a famous model at a party who demonstrated a whole new place to inject heroin, a place which polite society only refers to as 'the diamond in the rough'. As a delicate and sensitive being, one refuses to even repeat the story, especially the clitoris bit. Sophie Anderton; Kate Moss

3. Which entertainer taking part in last year's Gumball Rally was surrounded by the smell of burning rubber? Not because of his car tyres, but because of the heavy use of condoms which he used on various prostitutes at virtually every pit-stop of the rally. On a ferry across the Bosporus between stages, a mole's friend walked into the toilet to find the star hammering away at yet another paid-for date. The woman's features were described as "especially bleak".  Male celebrities that took part in last years Gumball are: Danny Dyer, Jason Statham, Jamiroquai, Haydn Christiansen, Xzibit and Tamer Hassan

She has always lived her life through her famous husband (a hip-hop powerhouse) and she loudly boasted at parties to anyone within earshot, "I'm loving my rich lifestyle." She never introduces herself by name, instead she says, "I'm ______wife." She was seen all over Hollywood, shopping on Rodeo Drive and rolling in a variety of expensive cars. Whenever she went out with her girls, they dined at Mr. Chows and the Ivy. She always offered to pick up the tab. She was also a regular fixture on the party circuit, never far from her husband. What a difference a few years make. Now, reports indicate that she is a battered woman living in fear of her husband. Although she still occupies their fabulous home, she is often secluded in the master bedroom, healing from yet another beatdown. The violence has escalated within the last year and her husband continues to inflict pain on her. Her females friends used to stop by the house to check on her, only to be turned away by her husband. She was probably in the bedroom, nursing black eyes and broken bones. The few times she left, he always begged her to come back. He also promised that the beatings would never happen again. Within a few months, the unprovoked attacks would start all over again. If this isn't scandalous enough. We're hearing persistent rumors that he also leads a double "DL" lifestyle. In the past, he has been the ringleader of a few downlow events that featured male go-go dancers and male escorts. Famous rappers were also in attendance and a few were overjoyed when the go-go boys gave them lap dances while others indulged ecstasy pills and cocaine, served in separate bowls. Our abuser now has a preference for "white men" only. He prefers blonde hair-blue eyed model types and over the past year he has kept men in a rented Hollywood Hills home on a 24/7 basis. In return, he pays their living expensive, including the rent on the house, their car note, credit card and cell phone bills. He's known to relax with these men, often getting high before getting down to business. His identity will probably be revealed in Terrance Dean's forthcoming book, "Hiding In Hip-Hop: On The Downlow In The Entertainment Industry From Music To Hollywood." Hint: His stage name doesn't start with the letter "L."
Dr. Dre

125. RUSH & MOLLOY 04/18
Which recently rehabbed rocker got clean through a week-long induced coma? He couldn't bear to sweat out the booze on his own.
Eddie Van Halen

126. GATECRASHER 04/18
Which actress on a canceled show was "doing her body weight" in cocaine at a beachy magazine shoot over the weekend?
Angie Harmon

#1 - This B+ film actor who has been the star of some of the biggest films of all time had to have his stomach pumped this past week after he was found in his overseas hotel room unconscious. Seems he took too many pills from his growing collection.
Orlando Bloom

#2 - Where oh where has the A list film star been hiding? Well he needs to go to rehab but doesn't want to ruin his good guy image. So, he has been hiding out at a home he owns which he has turned into his own personal rehab facility complete with counselor and doctor.

#3 - The celebrity musician and the celebrity socialite. Who gave who, the herp? They both are accusing the other. Hell with as many people as they have both been through, this one will be tough to figure out. Benji Madden/Paris Hilton; Cisco Adler/Lydia Hearst or Kimberly Stewart; Joel Madden/Nicole Richie

#4 - This NBA MVP caliber player played much better this year. The reason? Well it could have something to do with the girlfriend of his wife who moved in with them? Her reason for moving in? To give our NBA player variety each night so he doesn't stray. Apparently late nights on the road last year looking for sex are a thing of the past. Kobe Bryant

1. We're not naming names. We're not even pointing fingers, but at least one guest, and maybe more, at Eli Manning wedding, streaked the pristine beach at the wedding bash.
Peyton Manning; Jeremy Shockey

2. Which starlet left a black lace thong draped over the back of the toilet seat at the Beatrice Inn last week for the next patron to find, then went commando for the rest of the night?

3. Which weekly glossy just signed a mega-million-dollar contract with a certain annoying celebrity couple? The deal is the magazine will get exclusive interviews with the couple, but in turn they need to break up (again), get back together (again) and actually get married. Joel Madden/Nicole Richie; Heidi  Montag and Spencer Pratt

Back in the Golden Age of Hollywood, a white legendary actress had to have sex to calm her nerves before big events. A former white model linked with a former sports superstar was also rumored to have this condition. Now, we have been informed that a female singer is afflicted with this same condition. Her stage fright is so extreme, if her boyfriend of the moment isn't around, she has no problems bedding a roadie. On another occasion, right before show time, it's rumored she pulled a venue worker (stranger) into a storage room to satisfy her quick fix urges. After the encounter, he complained to co-workers, she slapped him when he tried to kiss her and they had unprotected sex. This same woman is a train wreck in regard to finances. Her priorities are designer clothes, bling and rented whips. Food and bills are on the bottom of the list. She will go to any extremes to look fly 24/7. She has even slept with drug dealers if they promise to take her shopping for name brand gear and expensive shoes. She's also known for skipping out on restaurant and bar tabs because she feels she's a star and doesn't have to pay, although she's a has been at best. Some people live paycheck to paycheck, she lives baller to baller. When men realize how emotionally and financially needy she is, despite her past stardom, they leave.

white legendary actress: Tallalah Bankhead; Joan Crawford; Ava Gardner; Marilyn Monroe
former white model linked to former sports superstar: Paula Barbieri/O.J. Simpson
female singer: Mya

So, what do you do when you are hosting a show and you have a member of a rock and roll super group come in? Well you try and get him to sign something for charity. I mean this group has been famous for 30 years and has licensed everything from condoms to coffins to eyeliner in order to make a buck. This singer and guitarist for the band was asked to autograph a guitar for a charity and he declined. Turns out he only signs things when he knows he will get a piece of the action. Since the show declined to give him a piece of the action, he declined to help the charity.
Paul Stanley

131. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 04/22
A Bitch to Work For: Successful multi-hyphenate, super well connected personally and professionally with a reputation for being kind and compassionate and evolved. Wrong. Maybe for the media and maybe her fashionable celebrity friends, maybe for investors, maybe for executives, but some of her employees would vehemently disagree. Turns out she’s a little bit of a Miranda Priestly when she comes in to the office. Starts snapping her fingers right away, never remembers anyone’s name, everyone is treated like a personal assistant, dispatched to do her bidding instead of actually getting down to work, recently held up a creative meeting because she wanted whole milk and not cream with her coffee, then 20 minutes into the meeting, she held it up again when her cell phone rang, proceeded to keep everyone waiting another 15 minutes while she discussed measurements on a dress she was having made, did not apologise when she clicked off the line, and instead embarrassed a staffer who returned to the room after having excused himself to take an urgent phone call when she was taking hers. But all that is rather pedestrian. There are no shortage of bitches in Hollywood. In the grand scheme of things, all that is pretty harmless. Until you get into job security. A pregnant member of her staff was scheduled to give birth around crunch time. Her boss’s convenient remedy for the situation was to not hire her back when everyone else returned to work. At the very least she was honest. She told her straight up – your due date doesn’t work for me. I don’t think you’ll be able to contribute in the same way you did before. So the employee hired a lawyer, a lawsuit loomed, and the boss bitch had to backpedal to the tune of a handsome pay-off (confidential, of course) and several seminars on employee rights although it apparently hasn’t helped. She’s still super stingy, to the point where she complains about the quality of craft services (it’s too good) and even supplies, haggles over offering vacation pay, and will not foot the bill for staff celebrations and events, even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited. Crazier still, she seems to be clueless when it comes to tact. The other day she said to one of her producers – if you need something to do this weekend, my assistant could use some help planning our reception. You could stay for dinner if you want. When he declined, she looked at him like he was closing the door to the opportunity of a lifetime. Before you ask, it’s not the Mighty Opes.

#1 - Apparently during the WGA strike this B/C list actor on a very hit show for women must have read too many self help books. He decided that what the cast and crew needed each day was recognition and encouragement. So, to reward good deeds and good behavior, our actor started handing out $5 Starbucks gift cards to each guy on the set who does something good, and to the women he hands out certificates for a 20 minute massage. Oh, not from a professional masseuse. Oh no. They are all from our actor. And the certificates? Hand drawn. Nice huh?

#2 - This A list country singer was at a middle school within the last month to give a little speech and do a song or two. Before entering the school he spent twenty minutes doing line after line of coke, and when he got out of the school, did the very same thing. I bet you think the speech was about staying off drugs, but it wasn't. It was about why you should fear and obey God. See, it was a private, religious middle school and our singer is very pro-God. Obviously very pro-drugs as well. Tim McGraw; "Big or Rich"; someone from Rascal Flatts

When you speak of "baller status," in hip-hop, you immediately think of the three richest men in rap, Jay-Z, P. Diddy & 50 Cent. This hip-hop star has always been very envious of them, especially Jay and Diddy. He was desperate to belong in their category by any means necessary. He overextended himself financially by purchasing a big crib and he fronted businesses which seemed lucrative but were going belly-up behind closed doors. He also leased several exotic cars and acquired an Asian jump-off with expensive taste until his cash became funny. For video shoots, he wanted expensive whips on display like he was ballin out of control but he couldn't even afford to lease luxury cars for a day, instead, he contacted local drug ballers and arranged to feature their fancy, customized whips in the video. While on tour, our hip hop star would discreetly disappear and never inform his staff where he was staying because he was too ashamed to let them know, he was staying at local Holiday Inn's or Motel 6's due to his lack of cash flow. Jay, Diddy and 50 have been known to travel in private jets but our hip-hop star has been spotted on Greyhound incognito. He's still fronting, but not as much because his money is short. For appearances, he now has access to nice cars but away from the cameras, he's been seen driving a Camry.
Ja-Rule; Master P

134. GATECRASHER 04/23
Which A-list actor with a long-suffering wife is not only a serial philanderer (we knew that) but a major cokehead (that's news!)? He makes bathroom trips every five minutes at his favorite L.A. club and likes to have a young woman seated on his lap.
Sean Penn; Mel Gibson

I feel like most of the kindness items lately have revolved around women. That is all well and good, but it is nice to hear that guys can be kind as well. This one involves an actor who would be A list by the definition that he is the star of a long running dramatic television series. Films? He's done a couple, but is really known for his television role. Age? Not old, not aging, but not in his twenties anymore either. Our actor is married, and she should be included as well in this kindness since she is part of it. Every two weeks or so, no matter where he is, our actor stops into a local toy store. Generally a big chain, but no love from me since they make him pay retail. Our actor spends $1000 every two weeks like clockwork. When he was filming and kept going to the same store every two weeks, someone asked him why he was buying so many toys every few weeks. Turns out our actor, stockpiles about 75% of the toys he buys all year long and at Christmas time donates them all to organizations like Toys For Tots, etc. The other 25% he sends to various children's hospitals throughout the year. You know the best part? The guy doesn't need publicity to keep doing it.
Tom Welling

136. POPBITCH 04/23
Which Pirates of the Caribbean star is still talked of in hushed tones by Bahamian locals, where II and III were filmed, thanks to his super-human habit of drinking three bottles of very fine red wine every day?
Johnny Depp

137. GATECRASHER 04/24
Which gorgeous Latina actress is said to have a Sapphic relationship with her hair stylist?
Eva Mendes; Salma Hayek

#1 - Just because you are a male Dove Award winner doesn't mean you are above doing a little meth huh? Kind of seems hypocritical, but that's just me. Did you get off the hillbilly heroin yet, or are you still doing that as well? And, no it isn't Vince Gill. If he was doing meth he wouldn't be 50 pounds overweight.
Scott Stapp (and this blind was written years before he finally admitted everything)

#2 - This used to be B list actor on a hit comedy network show is now C list and hopefully fading fast. BIG dater this guy. Decided that he wanted to give the ladies a little something extra and so had a piercing inserted into a place that 99.999999999999999% of guys would say no thanks. Since he got it installed (is that the right word?) it has just been one big infection, and numerous trips to the doctor. Needless to say, unless his plan included giving the ladies a pus infected mess, he probably ain't getting any for a very long time. Wilmer Valderrama

This talented young Actor, who also raps and sings on the side, is hurting his career with his romantic choices. He’s handsome and charming, but he loves fake relationships. Instead of relying on his talents, he hooks up with women to take advantage of the publicity.
Ray J

One Smelly, Sapphic Blind Vice: Isn’t shopping for real estate in Hell-Ay just so fun? It really is the new Sunday to-do in the City of Fallen Mortgages. Now that houses for sale are more abundant in T-town than overpriced Fred Segal tees, everybody’s looking to make a killing, celebs and noncelebs alike. ‘Course, Fanny Fecal-Farmer is so successful already with her reality boob-tube career, she’s gone ahead and bought herself another swank Hollywood compound before unloading her present one. But uh-oh! Fanny first purchased back when the market was considerably more flush, and she was just beginning her rise to the top of the cheeky heap. She overpaid considerably. Now she’s stuck with a million-dollar-plus job that’s probably going to take at least half that price tag to fix up. See, FFF’s a busy, horny girl. When she’s not off parading as a new, terribly authoritative star of her show, she’s back home making love to her girlfriend and letting her hillside house essentially rot to pot—not to mention allowing her adorable pooches to prance, poop and prowl all over the property, wreaking canine havoc. And since Ms. Fecal-Farmer so adores her g-friend (and the sweaty, time-consuming, mucho-athletic things they do in bed), she simply has no time to clean the damn place up. Another prob being Ms. F.F. abhors reprimanding her doggies for crapping and urinating everywhere just as much as she does training them not to. Therefore, Fanny had the most brills idea! Since the rather attractive gal knew fixing up her pad would take more care and money than she preferred to provide, she authorized her Realtors to splash "Secluded Celebrity Retreat!" all over the advertising campaign, effectively luring additional looky-loos. And just when potential buyers are about to flee, due to the urine and dog excrement collections everywhere, Fanny just happens to come home, unexpectedly, and—voilà!—the "celebrity" is revealed, thereby assuring some sort of purchasing incentive. Hasn’t worked, so far. House ain’t movin’, and it’s stinkier than ever. (Though, must admit, fooled lookers have enjoyed the sex-toy display in the bedroom, very impressive, Fan-hon!) AND IT AIN’T: Rachel Ray; Heidi Montag; Kim Kardashian
"Workout" Jackie Warner

141. HOLY MOLY (British Blog) 04/24
1. Which dreadfully tacky celebrity couple seem to be brilliantly inventive at sex, but not so great at hygiene? A mole visited them recently and found a trampoline in the living room. They naturally asked what it was for. "Oh, that's a sex toy. [Male celeb] lies on his back on the trampoline and I bounce up and down and pee on him." Cue uncomfortable silence and close examination of fingernails. After [female celeb] leaves the room, he goes over to inspect the trampoline and it is indeed covered in pee, unwashed and stinking like, well, a piss-stained trampoline.
Peter & Jordan Andre

2. Which pop star and tabloid favourite's brother dropped his whole stash of pills in the swimming pool of a private members' club last week? He was so distressed he nearly fell in. Alfie Allen (Lilly's brother) at Shoreditch House

3. Which OY OY COKERNEE actor recently bonked a London based pop star and left her with this description: "He put it in me, left it there for 40 seconds then pulled it out." charming! Danny Dyer

The music industry is populated with young black male singers who have manufactured images. About six months ago, we received a tip that one of these young men was not what he appeared to be behind closed doors. Due to his image, we brushed the tip aside. Recently, we received another tip about this same celebrity from another source, verifying what the first source said. Despite his appeal, this singer is terrifying during sex. Allegedly, pain turns him on. Our source (victim) said, "Prior to sex, a shadow came over his face, like he became another person and he painfully yanked my hair, slapped me, threw me down on the bed-facedown and had rough backdoor sex with me." She was frightened throughout the act, but afterwards, he returned to his sweet, loving, persona. Since he was a celebrity, she overlooked the encounter. The next time he came to town , once again, she fell under his spell. This time, he fisted her. She was sore the next morning but put her pain aside when he took her on a shopping spree and treated her to dinner. After she confided to a friend, the friend told her to report him but since he was famous, it would be her word against his and the sex would be seen as consensual since she never said no to his deviate demands. She said, "instead of glowing after having sex with the man of your dreams, instead, you are thinking, should you call a rape crisis center?"

143. GATECRASHER 04/25
Which 'sensitive' heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can't go but five minutes between bathroom breaks.
James Blunt

#1 - B list film actress who was a lead in a top ten movie from 2007 is actually bald. No hair, no fuzz, no nothing. Just wigs.

#2 - B+ actress. Barely any television. Hardly worth mentioning. Female lead of a hit film this year. New boyfriend who she met because he is also her dealer. Nothing beats free drugs. Kate Bosworth

#3 - You don't ever want to get into a relationship with this C list television actress. Foreign born, but works primarily in the US now. Here in the US has a recurring role on a very popular show, and has also worked on popular programs in her native country. When I say that you don't want to get into a relationship with her, lets just say that if you enjoy her beating the ever living crap out of you as a part of your sexual relationship than actually she may be the one for you. Seems she isn't shy about expressing it either. Guy goes on a first date with her. Ten minutes into the dinner she lays it all out. This is what she's into and if he is, or interested in it, then great, otherwise they may as well just keep it one date.

#4 - Three women in a row. OK, here is one for those who love guys. A white male reality show host who likes to pretend he is straight is enjoying wonderfully romantic times with this larger African American man who does straight porn for a living and calls himself bisexual. Ryan Seacrest

GIRL CRUSH & AIDS SCARE": We told you about this famous white female suspected of being HIV positive in an earlier blind item. Well, we have just been informed, due to her bi-sexuality she was also involved in a downlow situation with a famous black female rapper. Allegedly, the female rapper was informed by an industry friend that the white female was overheard saying she had an "girl crush" on her. Not too long after that, reps were contacted and they had several discreet sexual hookups. It's doubtful that the female rapper knew about her positive status due to her reckless and uninhibited behavior. Although she can afford to pay for her drugs, she's known to get down and dirty with her dealers unprotected for free drugs, just because she can. Now, we're hearing from a friend of the female rapper "she's still frantic even though her first test came back negative." We'll keep you posted as this story develops.

#1 - This B- film actress was on a flight with her girlfriend and hid her face under her blanket the entire flight. Why? She could only afford Business Class. Not too bad except when two people from The Real World were laughing at you from First Class.
Lindsay Lohan

#2 - Ahhh. I love a good trailer trashing story. Especially when it is a female. This female film actress who is the offspring of an acting family is filming a movie right now. Seems as if the water was never the right temperature in her trailer. After complaining about 100 times, and always being told it was perfect, our actress decided to take matters into her own hands. Literally. She got a crow bar and smashed the entire trailer beginning with the bathroom. After holding up filming for about 45 minutes so she could finish beating the trailer into submission, she emerged from the trailer, and said, she thought she had finally fixed the problem. A new trailer was delivered that very day and the $50,000 for the trailer charged to the budget. Kate Hudson (PROBABLY: filming "Bride Wars")

This cute movie actress looks sweet and innocent but she's far from it. Her last boyfriend was a rocker in a New York band who'd been around, but never met anyone like her. She laughed when she showed him all the stuff in her apartment that she had shoplifted. And he was astounded by her collection of pharmaceuticals. It got so he was afraid to go out with her- he never knew when she'd nick something and set off alarm bells in a store. She had enough pills in her purse to get them both locked up. That's why the big bad rockstar left her.
Winona Ryder

148. MICHAEL MUSTO 04/29
1. Which recently dead, supposedly straight movie actor did it with that then-handsome Broadway restaurant owner years ago?
Roy Scheider; Charlton Heston and Vincent Sardi, Jr.

2. What hyper-quirky stage actor (who's also known for movies and TV) does lots of coke and has sex in club bathrooms when the boyfriend's at home? What gay doesn't? Nathan Lane

3. What fashion-magazine editor—no, not the obvious one—still has no idea how to use the Internet? (She has to have e-mails read aloud to her and then dictates the reply.)

4. What current anchor is said to have been lesbian lovers with that unhinged late anchor, according to ancient legend? Sue Simmons and Jessica Savitch

5. Which drag queen claims to be rehabilitated, but she ain't in any way, shape, or form, honey? RuPaul

6. Which female rocker best known from the '70s and '80s recently got so plowed she blew chunks all over a nightclub? Want to buy the puke on eBay? Joan Jett

7. Which star who went from Hollywood hotshot to joke to rebounding talent has an impressively large member to go with his award? (Glad it's not four and a half inches—I am the type who suffers from some tiny little prick.) Charlie Sheen

8. What longtime r&b singer was spotted in Harlem, where she told a fan who accosted her: "If you ain't the crack man, don't come near me!"? Why did he keep coming near her? Diana Ross

9. What writer is known to creepily stare a little too fascinatedly at the racks of his stepchildren?

10. Which gay weekly is planning a cover story on Marc Jacobs's new boyfriend, and it hopefully won't propel him into nightmarehood like the last one?

11. Which legendary actor's bisexual father is murmured to have died of AIDS, not of "cancer," as the family officially reported?

12. Which scandal-ridden ex–TV personality would have gotten a gay record deal, but he wouldn't come out of the closet? Shouldn't someone say, "Who do you think you are?"

13. Which star who denies being gay used to give so-so head and has a penis that's even less than four and a half inches? Ryan Seacrest

14. What famous grandson is so delightfully kinky he recently lodged M&Ms up his butt, turning his hole into a veritable McFlurry of sexual delight? (Alas, they melted before they could be of any use.) Brandon or Jason Davis

15. About which talk-show host's supposed girlfriend was Rosie O'Donnell heard to say: "Look at her nails! She could never be a lesbian with those nails!"? Ellen DeGeneres/Portia de Rossi

#1 - This male star of a really popular cable tween show calls the woman he is always with, his aunt. If it really is his aunt then, he has a very loving family. In reality, he just doesn't want all of his screaming tween fans to know that he is dating a woman in her 40's.
Drake Bell

#2 - For some reason this famous co-star couple continues to pretend they are a couple, when in fact it ended quite some time ago. My guess is because they don't want to make the guy look like he was after only one thing. Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panetierre (which he was. Also she was having sex with a guy twice her age but thought the Milo thing would be good cover)

150. HEAT MAGAZINE 04/29
"Stars in the Closet"

No. 1 - This actor is one of the world's leading men. His career stretches back more than 20 years and he is famous for his liasions with various high-profile women. However, despite the ladies on his arm, friends claim this star has been having gay affairs for several years and goes to great lengths to hide them. George Clooney

No. 2 - This star has a manly reputation, with film roles to match, but he secretly spends his spare time in LA gay bars. He has become more relaxed about being seen on the gay scene in recent years, however, and has been spotted on a few occasions. His fans would be shocked to know his true sexuality, as he has a reputation as a 'blokey' bloke. Hugh Jackman

No. 3 - This actor has been a major Hollywood star and household name for years, having starred in many big-budget movies. Outwardly, he is happily married and is often seen out and about with his wife, but sources close to the star say the reality of the situation is that he has been struggling with his sexuality for some time. John Travolta

No. 4 - This star is relatively new to the world of showbiz, but tongues have been waggling since he made his arrival in Hollywood. He is known for his good looks and has the hearts of teenage girls fluttering...but we're sure his worldwide fanbase would be gutted if they knew that he actually prefers men over women. Zack Efron

This very famous man appears compassionate and caring when he's in front of the camera but behind closed doors, he has nothing to do with any of his kids from his marriages. No birthday or Xmas cards, he only drags them out for "daddy type" photo shoots. He's mean, calculating, self absorbed and egotistical. People automatically go up to him when they see him out in public, due to his nice guy TV image. They are shocked when he screams, 'leave me alone and get the fuck away from me!' This man is also sexist and has a habit of harassing women. He had to payoff a former female employee who threatened to go public about his fondness for exposing himself. Away from the cameras, he seems bitter and angry with a chip on his shoulder. And, he also has a nasty habit of referring to blacks as "they." Despite his impressive accomplishments, he's not the man he pretends to be.
Montel Williams

152. RUSH & MOLLOY 04/30
What notoriously stingy actress buys books at her neighborhood Barnes & Noble downtown, only to try to exchange the dog-eared copies days later for cash?

#1 - This A list director at least by reputation and name recognition has always lived in his own world. Apparently this world now includes his new found love for women in their 60's. That's great for them since our director is approximately half their age. Hey its approximate. This is a blind item. For now.

#2 - If you never admitted to dating this person then how can you ever be accused of cheating on him? This reality star with more than one speciality never acknowledged her relationship with her long term boyfriend. This way when she started sleeping with a married producer they could call her a home wrecker, but they couldn't accuse her of cheating on her boyfriend. I'm sure it all worked out ok in her mind when she thought it through. Listening to her logic on the other hand had me really confused and I wasn't even that drunk.

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Last updated: November 9, 2015