JULY AND AUGUST 2008

NOTE: Guesses in italics are only guesses;
guesses in blue are a link to the solution or substantial clues

2. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/01
#1 - Classic Hollywood: So, remember the guy from the foursome a few weeks back? He was #4 in case you want to go back and look. Anyway, he had several children and one year he was so incredibly messed up on drugs that he had not had time to get a birthday present for his son. So, what did he get him? No, not a hooker, he had already done that in a previous year. No, one time he wrapped up a couple of grams of coke in wrapping paper for his teenage son's birthday. Nice huh? Peter Lawford

#2 - Present time: This hot C+ list and B name recognition television actor on a hit network drama is known more for his television roles than his films although he has been in some big ones. Well it turns out that when he was coming up and barely making ends meet he had a girlfriend who supported him through it all. Then he got his big break on this hit network drama and while he was signing the contract he was also dialing the phone and breaking up with his girlfriend. Amaury Nolasco

3. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/02
#1 - Classic Hollywood. Same guy from yesterday who bought the coke for his son's birthday. So, anyway our guy who is more fully described last week was in rehab several times. One of his attempts at rehab took place out at Betty Ford. Prior to going to rehab he made arrangements for a helicopter to meet him in the desert with drugs. He would then use his exercise time to walk out into the desert, meet the helicopter and do his drugs. He would repeat this each day. Peter Lawford

#2 - Back to the present, well almost present. The first name that pops in your is probably the answer. What NBA all-star had a really wonderful way with women even back in high school. I remember high school. Lots of innocence. Not so for our NBA star. Favorite activity? Well he would find some girl and sweet talk her until she wanted him. I mean this guy was already huge, and extremely popular. Our NBA player would take the lucky girl out to his car in the parking lot and force her to perform oral sex. Then, when he had finished in his porn star way if you know what I mean, he would literally force them out of the car just like that. Such a way with women. Kobe Bryant

4. PANACHE REPORT 07/02
This black female group remains popular. Like other black female groups, the public knows the first and last names of each member. Sadly, while they were on top, they were ripped off so badly (like the majority of other female groups). One member was so broke, she couldn't even afford food and her ribs were protruding from her rib cage. She was also on the verge of being evicted from an apartment because she was two months past due on her rent and to top it off, she thought she might be pregnant. She called music executives affiliated with her label and literally begged for money, telling them, if she had the baby she would have to go on public assistance just to survive and she was broke, hungry and damn near homeless. They ignored her pleas and hung up in her face. The pregnancy was a false alarm. Over the years, this group member had a bad habit of becoming involved with older mean men. Her boyfriend at the time was no exception. At the funeral of a family member, she became so overcome with grief, she reached out to him to be consoled, instead, he loudly told her in front of her relatives and mourners, keep your hands off me and he then angrily pushed her to the ground. Onlookers looked on in shock. Who is the group member and who is the group? Hint: It's not LeLe of SWV. Terry Ellis of En Vogue

5. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 07/03
Will this girl group ever reunite? Their appearance on a recent awards show stirred a lot of interest and excitement, but don’t look for a reunion. One of the members is a certified nut, and the girls don’t need the unnecessary in their lives. EnVogue/Dawn Robinson

6. POPBITCH 07/03
1. Which rock star's mother-in-law said about him this week? "He looks like a rat but he's a good father to the kids... But he's a miserable, rat-faced man."

2. Which aging Hollywood superstar likes playing golf because the empty fairways give him a chance to take cocaine in peace? Michael Douglas

7. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/03
This A list male country music singer has been having some problems as of late, but he thinks he finally has them solved. See, there was a little incident involving the guy he was living with for the past several months. Our singer and the guy broke up, but the guy decided that he could make a buck or two selling his tales of meth use and the way they picked up strange men off gay date phone lines to have threesomes and foursomes. Our singer nipped that in the bud by buying off the guy. However, I don't think our singer has carefully thought through the situation involving all of the guys that were invited over for the good times as it were. Stay tuned. Kenny Chesney

8. TED CASABLANCA 07/03
One Lard-Sass Blind Vice: So, Porta-Potbelly hit it big. In every way. Dude's not only got debatable mirthful acting abilities, but a frame that's rather oversized, not exactly the prettiest pic in Hollywood, an enclave built almost entirely around how you look. So, P.P. can be forgiven, one supposes, if he hits clubs and parties and chooses to let his fame do the seducing, as Size-0 God knows, P.P. wouldn't stand a chance in Hades with these glittering gaga chicks were he not famous. Just like with the rockers, ya know, same principle precisely. (And if you don't believe me here, just look at the ugly-butt who's the latest entry into the Paris Hilton School of Sex Tapes, Mini-Me Verne Troyer.) And there P2 is, hitting up dive bar after dive bar in H-town, with his almost-equally famous dork-butt amigo. Porta moves right in on three chicks he desires to have directly beneath his quivering, jiggly flesh—only problem, he can't decide which one! Perhaps this is why Porta pulls out the blow, to help him hone a plan, who the ef knows. Or maybe it's to impress the babes, who, trust, are already majorly taken with the Big Star. Porta's clearly a man who's new to ruling this kind of scenester debauchery, as he broke Rules No. 1 (Let them come to you), No. 2 (Do your blow in the stall, just like the rest of T-town does), and, most importantly, No. 3 (Seduce and select them all, not just one, you dimwit). And like the horny moron he is, Mr. Potbelly wiped his schnoz, told the one babe he preferred to move it—and back to his chic, artist-like Hell-Ay residence they hightailed it. Uh, what I want to know is why the hell these babes do it. Is possibly getting smothered by an arguably gifted ape with a most challenging coiffure really worth the 15 minutes of infamy it's going to afford you? Nevermind, ladies, I already know the answer. Forgive me for even asking, that was the dumberest thing I've done all week. AND IT AIN’T: Tyler Perry; Brandon Davis; Jorge Garcia Jonah Hill

9. HOLY MOLY 07/03
Which blockbuster actor's wife acted impossibly after seeing a therapist? She started boning him during treatment (while hubby paid the (hotel) bills). The husband found out, left her then reported the therapist to the GMC and had him struck off.

10. FULL DISCLOSURE 07/06
Which professional athlete who's well known for playing the field with famous ladies is comforting the estranged wife of a fellow athlete as the couple goes through a divorce? The comforting was recently ratcheted up to a full-blown affair, despite the fact that he is very involved with an A-list starlet. Thankfully, the ladies live in separate states.
professional athlete: Derek Jeter
estranged wife:
A-list starlet: Minka Kelly

11. PANACHE REPORT 07/07
She started off with a small time manager. They were members of a well known site (You know which one) and they decided to email a photo of her accompanied by a demo to a black celebrity member of the site. Imagine their surprise when he responded, saying he was interested in her talent. She was flown to his destination with her manager in tow. A short time later, without explanation, the manager was out of the picture. It didn't take long to realize that the celebrity was more interested in her looks than her talent. Before she embarked on a career, she was in the shadows rumored to be having a very discreet relationship with her new celebrity mentor. She was his jump-off during his relationship with his bottom woman. At a recent party, she stayed out of sight as they continue to "try" and hide this relationship. It must have been hurtful to watch him from afar flirting with every beautiful woman in attendance. When she questioned him about it later, he said, "Be lucky to be with me, I do what I want, when I want, deal with it or leave because I can get any woman I want." She's still with him.

12. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/07
#1 - This vegetarian A list rock star has been on and off with his baby mama. She thinks they are on. He apparently thinks they are off as he was off with this former B list actress from a hit television show who loves taking care of strangers in the park.
vegetarian A list rock star: Anthony Keidis
former B list actress: Laura Prepon

#2 - This singer/actress who seems equally known for both, but it has been awhile since there has been a hit song. Hell, it has been awhile since she had a hit movie too. I guess she would be about C list on the scale of acting but definitely A list name recognition. Anyway, she just broke up with her longtime boyfriend. Just one of those things or did that certain UFC fighter she spends so much time hanging around possibly have something to do with it. Mandy Moore/Georges St Pierre

13. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/08
If I gave you these names you would say, "oh, I love them. They are so innocent and fun." Well that wasn't always the case. The actor is B list. Probably C list name recognition and A when it comes to facial recognition. The actress is A list on television for sure, and B+ list in films. Each of the two is married. When this occurred both were together with their respective spouses, but NOT married to them yet. Oh, both have at least one child. On set romance. Both professed their undying love to their significant others but spent every possible second they could having sex. The only time they ever stopped was during the actual filming and when their significant others paid a visit to the set.

14. PANACHE REPORT 07/09
This black female celebrity was down to her last penny when she rebounded. Now, she's having financial difficulty once again. She has no financial savvy skills and spends her money on frivolous things, she also supports her entire family and gives her boyfriend money for the hell of it. She is so resentful and jealous of the success of Beyonce and Alicia, you can see the hatred in her eyes when their names come up. She's also envious of their money managing skills. She seems intent on trying to keep up with her celebrity peers (mainly Beyonce and Alicia) despite being in the hole financially. She also spent thousands hiring a dog sitter and a doggie psychiatrist because she heard rich Beverly Hills women do it. Despite being attired in designer wear, her clothes always look tacky and her lack of hygiene has come up on more than one occasion. She has refinanced her house and taken out a six figure record company loan just to stay afloat but don't be surprised when this new infusion of money runs out and she files for bankruptcy. Who is she?

15. RUSH & MOLLOY 07/09
Which chummy-seeming reality-show hosts can't stand each other off-camera?

16. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/09
Wow. This is a tough one to classify. It is almost where I want to give you the name just to see how you would classify her. The problem is that she has done so many things besides acting. Lets go with B- list, but definitely A list name recognition just for her name alone. She isn't gorgeous, but she is cute, and has a nice personality. I think the crew on one of her movies would agree that she definitely has personality at night. See, that is when she starts hitting the J&B. Yep. Big fan of it and when she starts drinking she also starts screwing. No need to hide or pretend or anything. She will go straight up to whatever crew member strikes her fancy that night and ask them point blank if they want to have sex with her. Goes on all during filming. In the mornings though. Different personality completely. Horrible hangovers and lots of extra makeup. She is married, but most people don't realize it and she is currently dating someone openly.

17. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/10
Have a baby and then lose your husband? This A list singer recently had a baby, but it seems that the little bundle of joy was also just delaying the inevitable. The only thing that held them together was the pregnancy. Now that the pregnancy is over, so is the marriage. Christina Aguilera/Jordan Bratman (and then they split)

18. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 07/10
1. This Sports Wife is desperate to hang onto the celebrity spotlight. She doesn’t care how many jump offs her husband has, as long as he takes cares of her and their kids. She loves her lifestyle, and she is refusing to give it up no matter how silly she looks trying to hold on. Shaunie O'Neal (Shaq); Vanessa Bryant (Kobe)

2. This victim of domestic abuse is beginning to realize her earning potential since the unfortunate incident. She was famous before, but now she is world renowned. In addition to helping other battered women, she has seen her earnings triple. Juanita Bynam

19. POPBITCH 07/10
Which pop superstar asked friends to hide them from Bono at an event as they were terrified of being roped into his Red scheme?

20. TED CASABLANCA 07/10
One Rent-a-Wreck Blind Vice: Oh, this is a cruel town, and I can be an equally snitty columnist, sorry. You try growing up a fruit in Texas and get back to me. Until then, let’s dish up Pickled Fickle, shall we? See, Mr. F’s not in a great way these days. Career ain’t what it used to be, and his bedroom notches certainly aren’t what they used to tally up to, either. And take it from moi, all this mattress and life sadness has nothin’ to do with P.F.’s split with his honey recently. Ol’ P-man was certainly stepping out on his lady long before their recent bust up, I assure you. But like a lot of closeted stars in this town, P.F.got used to having it his way—meaning the gal and all the guys he wanted. Until...gravity and genes set in. And I’m not only talkin’ getting old here, hons, I’m talking the whole he-bang, as in the ever-awful three W’s: weight, wrinkles and wondering (as in what went wrong). P.F.’s got those so big time right now—in fact, he’s very nearly delirious with the three W’s. He actually said to a pal whose shoulder he was crying on not long ago, "Maybe I should just go back to hooking." Oh, darlin’. I dare say you’re in the category now where you have to dole out the green, babycakes. You been smokin’ somethin’ you picked up below the border? Damn, Sweets. Look in the friggin’ mirror. Whore-ish Holiday: Blind Vice Friday has us guessing which Hollywood star's down in the personal—and romantic—dumps and who's actually missing his younger days of prostitution!  AND IT AIN’T: Mike Myers; Russell Simmons; David Duchovny Dylan MCDermott; Brendan Fraser

21. TED CASABLANCA 07/11
Who's really behind what's going on between Madonna and A-Rod? You might be sultrily surprised.

22. PANACHE REPORT 07/11
Several black marriages/relationships are currently "arranged" in Black Hollywood.

Rewind: Remember, when we told you about a black celebrity who did not tell his wife that he intended on sleeping with his black leading lady on a big budget film? After the wife found out, she confronted her husband, she wasn't mad about the sex, she was mad because he didn't inform her beforehand. Another black (acting) couple, in their age range, just started having an open marriage as well. But their rules are different: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Fast Forward: This black celebrity in the music industry is a philanderer at best. His wifey got fed up with his cheating. She had threatened to leave him in the past but he came up with an ultimatum, attend a swingers party with me, you do your thing, I won't trip, and I'll do my thing, and you don't trip. She reluctantly agreed. This swingers branch caters to celebrities. They arrived at a mansion and he got busy real quick. When he looked over and saw his wifey getting busy with a well muscled stud, he got extremely jealous and all he could think of, "she belongs to me, despite the fact he was sexing another woman at the time. Afterwards, when they got in the car to go home, he exploded and hit her with a fury of punches. When she tried to protest about him sleeping with another woman, he shouted, "It's different when you're a man and our needs our different." She nursed a black eye for weeks and he never took her to another swingers event but he continued to cheat and expected her to remain faithful.

23. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/11
#1 & 2- So this C list television actress with A list name recognition was supposed to star in an old family standby. Everyone was excited to have her on board and thought everything was great. Then at the filming of the promos for the show, our actress was a no-show. Apparently she was too tired to come in and film, but would try and come in a few days or perhaps they could just film out at her place. Whatever was more convenient for her. The producers, instead of putting up with crap and creating some kind of diva monster, cut her loose from the project right then and brought in an old nemesis instead who has been a perfect angel.
C-list actress: Tori Spelling
old family standby: 90210
old nemesis: Shannon Doherty

#3 - What former NY Yankees pitcher and still in the major leagues had an affair with a teammate's wife, and then later with that same teammate's girlfriend. (This has nothing to do in any way, shape, or form with Alex Rodriguez except who knows, maybe he slept with them both as well. I don't know.) David Wells

#4 - Apparently random acts of vandalism against her ex's stuff is the way this B- television and C list film actress is getting her revenge on the guy she dumped, but says she didn't. No, not Megan Fox. Think meaner and older. Not that old. Rose McGowan

24. PANACHE REPORT 07/14
"TYRANT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS": This man may have the most successful "manufactured image," in history. In his field, he is a superstar but at home, he's a controlling tyrant with his wife behind closed doors. His wife thought she landed the ultimate catch but now she's having doubts. She's not allowed to have friends and he has successfully separated her from her family. She is surrounded in the lap of luxury but she leads a very lonely existence. If this isn't enough, when he's out of town, if he isn't checking on her whereabouts, he has a rep hired just for this purpose. When his wife thinks he's away from home due to career, he can often be found entertaining a legion of women in high rise penthouses or exclusive brothels across the country that cater to celebrities, only. He's also known on the overseas escort circuit as having a very large appetite for group sex with an array of women. And, he's rumored to be very endowed and insatiable with unbelievable staying power. When he's not trying out a variety of women in the sex industry, he has a main call girl (on-call) 24/7 at $1 million dollars per year. She has to be ready to travel on a moment's notice and he told her to drop her other clients. Hint: It's not R. Kelly.

25, ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/14
I would expect this kind of behavior from this B- list film and (whatever else he can get) actor who used to be an A list television star. I did not expect this kind of behavior from this C list television and film actress who is the offspring of true Hollywood royalty. Despite our actress being married, it hasn't stopped her from going out with our actor whenever possible and isn't shy about expressing her affection towards him in public. We can only imagine what they are doing in private while the hubby sits at home waiting for his wife to return. Natasha Gregson Wagner & Matthew Perry

26. BILLY MASTERS 07/14
Could it be that a certain spurned siren has hooked up with yet another homo hunk? She just ended a rocky relationship with someone who actually lived in the closet and jumped right into another with a guy about to get a Brazilian! But, don't fret for our fearless femme fatale...she's a smart cookie and knows these dangerous liaisons are only helping her career - whetever that is! Sarah Larson (ex-girlfriend of George Clooney)/Jason Statham

27. RUSH & MOLLOY 07/15
Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, "Do you want to bleep my wife? Because you can?

28. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/15
This one is a little hard to disguise because honestly there are not that many directors names that would just pop in your head. Yes, I know you can name a million, but think of the average person. How many directors can they name? This is one of them. Oh, and he always writes his own stuff as well. So, this director bought a farm/estate about 4 years ago. It has been in existence for awhile and so had a number of employees already there when he bought it. Even though it isn't really related to the kindness, our director has treated the employees who remained much better in the past four years then they ever were treated by the past employers. One of the guys who worked on the estate was given some new jobs when the director took over. The director hired him to work on his films as an electrician, handyman, and bartender for parties on the sets. He even gave the guy some bit parts in his films. Well about a year ago, the worker was diagnosed with liver cancer. Over the course of the year our worker had his ups and downs but finally died last week. From the time he was initially diagnosed, our director made sure that the worker received the best care in the world wherever in the world it could be found. He made sure the worker's girlfriend could travel with the worker. The director made phone calls, called in favors, consulted with the best doctors in the world all for his employee. No matter what he did though, it just was never enough. The director now feels he could have even done more to help, and has been in terrible shape over the past week since the worker's death. M. Night Shyalama

29. PANACHE REPORT 07/16
This black female actress is hungrily taking any part thrown her way, even if the script is garbage. She no longer has standards because she desperately needs the money. She's running out of money, partly, due to traveling all of the country to attend industry events, trying to snag a baller with no success. She spends a fortune on designer dresses, beautiful jewelry, and high-end shoes but she always leaves empty handed despite being attractive. She is now on an all-out "baller alert." In her mind, only a high paid baller can keep her in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to, either that, or lose what she already has. Gabrielle Union

30. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/16
1. Hey you. Yeah you, the one who talks all the time to she who is tall. I'd stop worrying so much about the Yankee and start worrying about one of your clients. Which one? Guy Oseary talks to Ingrid Casares about A-Rod and needs to focus attention on his other client, Ashton Kutcher

2. How about the married B- list film actor from a hit network television show who does so much meth that I'm surprised he can still stand, let alone learn his lines. Oh, and I wouldn't worry too much about the hooker that he sleeps with every night and is also his dealer. I'm sure she and the wife and child(ren) will get along famously once it all comes out.

31. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/17
#1 - Chastity? What chastity? Done it, done it, not done it. Jonas Brothers

#2 - So, let me get this straight. You, formerly a C list film actress known for one thing, or more specifically two if you get my meaning. Television? Sure, but not a series per se. Anyway, you left your husband after finding, and introducing your replacement to him thinking you could do much better without him. Since then, nothing. Except for that one television thing. You like to pretend you are this and that and doing great, but we all know what you are doing at each event you go to and how any single guy with a couple of bucks or a married guy with more than a couple of bucks just instantly becomes your best friend, hopefully for more than a night, but it really hasn't turned out that way has it? Meanwhile, divorce settlement money is gone and there isn't any other money coming in from anything else except your friends. Well you still have your looks. Kind of. Shannon Elizabeth

32. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 07/17
1. This Hip Hop Mogul recently broke up with his Model girlfriend. He felt bad about the breakup, but the Model was glad it ended. She didn’t like his spoiled children and his crazy, over the top ex-wife. Russell Simmons/ Porschla Coleman

2. This reality show winner needs a stylist immediately. Her clothes are too tight and she looks greasy. She wants to be hot like her peers, but her bad styling choices are hurting her career. Jennifer Hudson; Fantasia

33. TED CASABLANCA 07/17
One Desperate-Diva Blind Vice: It’s amazing I don’t write these more often, the clinging-onto-celeb-life-with-all-the-surgeried-muscle-they-can-muster brand o’ Blind Vices. Could it be they hit too close to home for this fortysomething columnist who wonders if he should start embarking on all the plastic-puss opportunities available in this über-vain town? Nah, not today, at least. But do take Sheila Muff-Driver, an attractive enough gal who plans on selling her fading sexuality until she drops and who hasn't shied away from all that docs can do for her, trust. ‘Course, not that long ago, Sheila-love was the hoochie-coochie toast of T-town, and I don’t mean just for being a superscrumptious babe, but for her great beauty and arguable talent, too. The Academy Awards even gave her notable recognition at one time, but alas, that was back when SMD had a modicum of professionalism to offer her colleagues, as opposed to the perk-filled, ridiculously absurd existence Sheila's life has now become. She goes through assistants faster than Botox needles. She fires reps of all sorts (managers, agents, etc.) who were just trying to do her a charitable favor in the first place—as Ms. Muff-Driver did, at one time, have such promise. And she still could, mind you, if she’d just stop injecting her body with every fountain-of-youth concoction out there and let what’s left of her face just be. So, you know, she could move it, utilize it and such, as actors are wont to do. But instead, all Sheila gets today are offers to do benefits and interviews about her once-golden career. And it was one occasion for the latter—in a documentary being put together by an established director who could ostensibly help reenergize Ms. M.-D.’s career—in which Sheila was set to be prominently featured. Although, true to deranged spoiled form, when the producer rang up to finalize the schedule, Sheila barked back: "You know, I don’t get out of bed for less than $40,000 a day." Sheila’s still under the covers, by the by, her latest opportunity at anything close to a comeback having been quashed, yet again, by herself. Maybe next time this happens, just go and shoot the bitch in her bed? Just a thought. Would be fitting on so many levels. AND IT AIN’T: Blythe Danner: Whitney Houston; Diahann Carroll Faye Dunaway

34. POPBITCH 07/17
1. Which love-split rat might be finding it hard to keep his nose clean because he keeps putting so much cocaine up it? Balthazar Getty

2. Which supermodel had a stand-up row with her husband at a big celebrity social event in front of other guests who were shocked at his language to her?

35. PANACHE REPORT 07/18
"RIDE OR DIE CHICK" (THUG LIFE): She's extremely pretty with potential but her love for the street life may derail her career. Due to her attractive appearance, people assume she's classy, later, when they get to know her, these same people are shocked by her thug behavior. She loves flashing gang signs, it's rumored that when she was a teenager, she rode shotgun when a drive-by went down and she often tells her female friends, "ain't nothing wrong with being a ride or die chick and doing a bid for your man." She has slept with notorious gang bangers in seedy neighborhoods, to prove she's down. She's also known among thugs as a good time party girl who will give up the goodies at the drop of a hat. When she's not slumming in the ghettos despite what little fame she has, she's hooking up with horny rappers on the road, when they are in quick need of a sex fix with a pretty girl, if they're not performing in her town, they will fly are in. And, she was often the second girl in threesomes with a rap mogul. She also loves getting high with rappers, she's down for 'X,' blunts, or whatever is available. Away from the ghetto love, she's also the jump-off for a popular NBA star who just got traded. His main woman is a white actress. Now, we're hearing, she was passed around the NBA and NFL last season. Also, with her looks, people wonder why she doesn't have a steady boyfriend, it's because of her reputation. Her thug crew has also prevented her from getting additional work because they intimidate people who could be helpful to her career. Hint: Very well known in the black community.
Ride of Die Chick: Lauren London
rap mogul: P Diddy
NBA star/white actress:

36. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 07/18
They were supposed to have kicked their bad habit together. A partnership in blow became a commitment effort to get clean. And for a while they were successful. But he was the weaker one. And he’s been using again for a while. The problem, one of many obviously, is that when he’s cranked, he’s also very aggressive. Some say he’s mixing his powder with some muscle juice and the coke/steroid combination brings out the roughneck which has presented many challenges for his publicist. Fortunately his publicist is almost as clever as Jessica Biel’s. Was able to turn spin a recent skirmish into an heroic rescue. The truth is, he was so jacked up on the good stuff he had to take it out on someone else’s head. As for his wife...well she has a boyfriend. His name is Jesus. With her new devoutness has come an almost unbearable sanctimony, not to mention intolerance – for his lifestyle, for his binges – so much so that they are finding it increasingly difficult to be together, though like the Beckhams, they are a brand too. One big happy family...fraud! Faith Hill/Tim McGraw

37. HOLY MOLY 07/18
1. Which dreadfully smug UK singer used to visit a brothel in Rochdale (Manchester was too busy and he was worried he would be seen) and became a regular visitor. He liked to wear a nappy. Tight Huggies, but don't talk about it! Mick Hucknall; Liam Gallagher

2. Which sexually ambiguous UK comedian has a sunken lounge seating area and was spotted one evening completely naked and being straddled by a "fairly" attractive blonde lady? Odd though - that a short while later, an incredibly camp young man in very tight hot pants was spotted skulking out of the same house very early in the morning. Eddie Izzard; Russell Brand; David Walliam

3. Which Globe trotting national treasure shattered a young PR girl's illusions of him being the perfect "uncle figure" when it became obvious that he fucks his way through almost every woman he meets? David McCallum

38. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/18
#1&2 - I really do dislike the whole celebrity pregnancy game, because really that is all it is. It is a way to pass the time and to come up with some stuff to talk about when there isn't anything else going on. However, when it is a juicy pregnancy or the daddy is in question, then I start to get a little more interested. So, you have an actress. B- list, all films, but really B- is more because of what she has been in through more luck than any real talent. Had some substance abuse issues. Recently she had a relapse which was hinted at in some tabloids but it was just for a day or two. The problem is that she got knocked up during that little fiesta and so now has turned for advice and possibly to convince another B- list film actor that perhaps he could volunteer to be the daddy just so she doesn't look like a tramp by not knowing who the real daddy is.

#3 &4 - What infamous (too strong of a word probably for why) female reality television co-star despite the name, managed to steal this basketball player away from his date last night? The poor date who had flown in to LA with the basketball player went back to the hotel all alone while the reality star and the basketball player got one of their own for a few hours. Kendra Wilkerson & Lamar Odom

39. BAD FISH 07/18
#1 This multi membered ensemble band with a lead singer from overseas has had some legal trouble in the past. I won't get specific, but the incident was one that'd make Al Gore outraged. The band apologized up and down, made the appropriate donations, and blamed a staff member for the "unfortunate accident". However, what was deemed an accident was actually quite deliberate. The truth was never told that the whole mess was very much the fault of the band's lead singer, who's speedball addiction is so out of control that he could not see the harm in pulling what he thought was a funny prank. A PR nightmare and a few donations later, the band has come out unscathed and still no one has found out about the lead singer's addiction, despite there being photographic evidence. Says a witness to it: "You never know if he's going to sit down and pick up an instrument, or pick up a chair and throw it at you." Well, that's heroin and liquid cocaine for ya. Dave Matthews Band

#2 This 90's rock singer has had major success both in this decade and the last, with at least two different bands, and a little as a solo artist. What has never been revealed or openly discussed is his raging drug addiction. Seems there's a picture floating around of him "hugging the toilet seat like he's begging for a blow job", next to an open bag of at least five syringes and some unknown liquid substances. Hint: He's from the same city I am. Chris Cornell

#3 The lead singer of this band would do well to curb his temper, or his fellow musicians may be tempted to kick his ass straight to Mars? An onstage tantrum at a recent show in Denver led to pieces of the drum set thrown into the crowd and a few onstage injuries of crewmen. When the singer reached for a $90,000 camera that was filming the event, the camera man, who was also directing the taping, balked and left with his crew, refusing to finish. The stand of the camera alone was worth more than the lead singer was being paid for the show. As a result of his reckless behavior, the band did not continue on to the last two dates. Hint: I left a huge clue, but it won't be the first band you think of. The Mars Volta

#4 Members of which bratty punk band aren't as bad as they make themselves out to be? While its known that the boys have a fondness for the drink drinky (as does their snotty Yoko Ono, whom I personally detest), a mere 24 pack of Bud Light will have them upside down in the garbage pail, puking their guts out. Some punks they turned out to be.  Sum41

40. FULL DISCLOSURE 07/20
Which newly married diva recently went bananas after reading flirty text messages from her new hubby's ex on his BlackBerry? She locked him out of their (her) house for two nights. Memo to ladies everywhere: If you don't want to know, don't start snooping. Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon

41. RUSH & MOLLOY 07/21
Which A-list actor got it on with two ladies in a club's bathroom stall. He told friends later that he'd forgotten to tell them about his STDs.

42. PANACHE REPORT 07/21
This black female celebrity can't let go. She was ecstatic when she finally caught a rich and famous black man. He was certainly a good catch. He has a reputation for not sleeping around and being sincere. But, she had one of her overbearing reps try constantly hint around "marriage," in his presence, on a frequent basis. He became very turned off by this. He got even more turned off when she began showing signs of being neurotic and argumentative. He called off the relationship and moved on. Only problem, she hasn't gotten over him despite dating other men. Now, she tracks him down at industry events through her publicist. She shows up, and stares at him until she gets his attention. Being the gentleman he is, he acknowledges her but under his breath he tells his friends, "not her again." She has turned up at the last 5 events he's been at. And, the same scenario plays out each time, she stares at him until she gets his attention, gestures him over and pleads for him to take her back. He refuses and rejoins his table. If he's dancing with a girl, she will rudely cut in. He's telling his friends, he doesn't want to file a restraining order against her but if she keeps this behavior up, she's giving him no choice. Who are they?

43. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/21
Strangest Breakup #567. This is going to be tough because the people involved have only one job each and in my opinion both do it badly. I guess the female (A list name recognition) in the story could be considered doing things professionally, but hasn't done the first well, for over 20 years and that is assuming it wasn't come kind of electronic miracle. He was a nobody until he started dating her. Now I guess he would be a celebutard and there are rumors he is about to get a dramatic boost to his 15 minutes. Anyway, the reason for their most recent breakup is apparently the woman in the relationship has some birds. Not too many. Not like Heidi Fleiss and her parrots. This is just five or six, but our woman likes to let them be free and fly around her house. Well anyway, they fly free and crap free and one day our guy was at her home in a new suit and a bird crapped on it. He went into a rage, rolled up a magazine and went after the bird until it was dead. He then walked out of her house and never spoke to her again. Oh, she's been married before. Does that help? Paula Abdul and her ex JT Torregiani

44. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/22
#1 - A certain Northwest city - Several weeks ago this not married actor who is involved in a relationship with an A list actress was staying at a hotel and he was all alone or so everyone thought. The concierge got a call from the gentleman in the room asking if the concierge could get him some company for the evening. Well the concierge asked some preferential questions and arranged for someone to be sent over. The woman was only there for a few minutes and was sent away, but with a little cash in her hand. The concierge receives another call and then another as this act plays itself out over the course of five or six women until finally one stays. And stayed all night and left the hotel with the actor and lo and behold his actress squeeze as well. Stuart Townsend/Charlize Theron

#2 - A certain Southwest city - This male talk show host had just a few too many to drink or to smoke or to snort but was crazy out of his mind, and made his big eyes even bigger. Well the talk show host decided that at 2am he was going to make a raid on the lobby furniture because it was moving. Oh yeah, it was moving and trying to surround him. So, our talk show host spent about an hour taking a fire ax to various pieces of the furniture. When management was notified they said they didn't care since no other guests were awake and they would get paid for it anyway. After an hour, the talk show host said the furniture was dead and fell asleep right there in the middle of the lobby. Carson Daly

45. BAD FISH 07/22
There are from when I stayed in Los Angeles a few years ago and bunked with some Hollywood bit players and assorted crew members. Enjoy!

#1 What dashing heartthrob is a secret butt pirate? The B+ list actor has been seen with more than a few beauties but word on the downlow is that he has a kept boyfriend whom he prefers to whatever eye candy he currently has on his arm. A gay extra on the set of one of his hit films (of which he had many in a short period of time) noticed the young actor almost desperately going out of his way to befriend the openly or perceivably gay members of the crew and extras, even going so far as to try and invite himself to different get togethers formed by cast and crew members who'd befriended one another. On the set of the sequel, the extra noticed the same borderline predatory behavior and made a point to avoid the actor, to no avail. Later, after many failed attempts on the part of the actor to befriend the gay extra, a frightening incident occured. One night after leaving the set with a few others, he noticed a familiar black SUV in the rear view mirror, with an even more familiar face behind the wheel. It was the actor. After a wild goose chase across Hollywood in which the young men were clearly being followed, it ended as abruptly as it started, coming to a stop when the SUV mysteriously gunned in an opposite direction after the young men pulled through a gas station. To top it off, there are still longstanding rumors that he and another key player in another very successful film franchise had a long term relationship for the lengthy duration of filming on the (overseas) set. I can't give you any strong hints (well, I did give one at the beginning of the paragraph) but I can tell you that both his first and last name could be found in a dictionary. Orlando Bloom

#2 More gay actors! This muscle bound hunk has a sexy, distinctive voice and quite the charming smile. While in the past he's said that he doesn't spend excessively on women for the first date, he doesn't seem to have the same philosophy with his real dates--the boys. In an incident 'round a cocaine dusted coffee table, he brashly prepositioned a young man, bragging of his status and material goods and how expendable they were in light of his cash. He arrogantly threw his Rolex on the table, money from his wallets, anything of value, in an effort to show not only how rich he was but how little he cared for it in light of trying to bed the lad, whatever the price. Alas, he was turned down. Its because of these tales that another one earlier this year caused shock with the rent boys and the young gay wannabes of Hollywood. Our hulking, shaven headed action star became a father. The pregnancy and birth were not publicized, and the star was never actually seen with the woman in question, raising the question as to the nature of how the child was conceived. Yes, I'm not the only one that has expressed their suspicions about our high octane actor (with some producing credits). And while our actor in #1 had both first and last names you could find in a dictionary, this actor only has one like that. And I won't tell you which one it is. Vin Diesel

46. PANACHE REPORT 07/23
This black actor tried to be faithful after marriage but his urges have taken over. He's currently cheating on his wife with a variety of black and white models and a few actresses. Interestingly, he can't stand to see black women with white men. The sight enrages him and he refers to them as "sell-outs." He's usually private but he can barely keep it in his pants. Before marriage, he was involved with a very pretty woman but he creeped on her with a disease (non-fatal) infested woman who is pretty but scandalous. He's getting tired of the dating game (on the sly). But instead of being faithful to his wife, the word is out, he's on the lookout for a permanent mistress, ASAP. Hint: Movie/TV actor, very well known actor in black community. Boris Kodjoe

47. RUSH & MOLLOY 07/23
Which reality TV has-been can't even go to paid appearances anymore? His manager is too worried about how trashed he gets when he's on the payroll.

48. JANET CHARLTON 07/23
This rock star claims to be many things - he says he's a devout Christian, a vegan, and a complete teetotaler - no alcohol, no drugs. But he does have a weakness for pretty woman. One of his former pretty women says he's a BIG FAKE. She claims that not only does he eat meat and NOT live by Christian values, but he's a hardcore pill-popper and a member of Narcotics Anonymous. His current girlfriend isn't complaining - she's a cokehead and compulsive liar herself. Benji or Joel Madden

49. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/23
#1 - This one really shouldn't be a blind, but I told them I would keep it kind of secret. Didn't say how hard the secret would be though. These two actors are on an NBC dramedy and think they are keeping their relationship hush hush. Nothing juicy. I mean she is divorced and he is single. It's just funny that the only people on the set who think it is a secret are the couple themselves. Lindsay Price/Robert Buckley, "Lipstick Jungle"

#2 - Now for something juicier and we will stay at NBC. This time a comedy where the two stars of this hit show used to laugh and get along and just be best pals. Well best pals to the extent people can fake being best pals. However now it is to the point where the only time they communicate is through their lines on the set. The other problem is that other cast members are having to pick sides and if you speak to one, then the other won't speak to you. Yes, these are adults. Tina Fey & Alec Baldwin

#3 - Juiciest is that a certain reality winner is supposed to get married. Problem is that his affianced is ignorant of the fact that he has a guy that he has been with since before the show even aired. They had great fun watching the show together, but now don't know what to do about their situation.

50. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 07/24
Which actor has been much too egotistical and much too energetic on press tour recently? Let’s start with the ego first: He’s not exactly Brad Pitt or the GMD on fame terms and still he travels with a crazy security team and insists on sweeping every location before he will enter. Who the f&ck are you??? Even his own management is snickering at his grossly exaggerated sense of entitlement – hit movies don’t necessarily equate to international superstardom, and while his box office might be lucrative, his celebrity status is decidedly modest. Still…he insists on super stealth, secret service style maneuvers, and has hilariously mandated that while in public he be referred to by "code name" only. It becomes even funnier when the newly single megalomaniac happens upon an attractive woman. The woman is hustled through stairwells and hallways before their tryst – a procedure so elaborate that last week, his chosen partner for the evening ended up so rattled by the time she arrived at his room, she was no longer in the mood to participate. And his paranoia is getting worse. It started out as a quirk - several weeks ago he was enthusiastic and perhaps a little particular, but not a paranoid freak. A little blow here and there for extra energy though has become more of a habit and he is getting CRANKED at work. To the point where more than a few journalists have remarked about his over-animated behaviour, as a timid reporter from Asia was frightened and confused during an interview when he became angry at her for refusing to sing karaoke with him. Sorry…I’m a bitch. I had to laugh about that. Be thankful, dude, for a good publicity team. And for the fact that at the end of the day, it’s really only you. Brendan Fraser

51. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 07/24
1. This TV personality/comic is finding out the hard way that you can’t be too honest about your life. Imagine the shock of her co-workers and fans when she revealed her past abortions, marital difficulties and drug-addicted family members. Many people felt it was T.M.I. - Too Much Information! Sherri Shepard from "The View"

2. Is all publicity good publicity? Even if it’s fake? If you are living a lie, and don’t want your true life revealed it is. Hmmmmmmmmm!

52. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/24
#1 - This former female reality star and now just a D list wannabe decided to make a move on the mahogany one also known as Ronaldo. She offered her services to him for the evening at a reasonable $5000 at which point he laughed and laughed and said, "Look around. Look at me. Why would I pay for anyone?" "Real World" Trishelle

#2 - Speaking of reality stars. I've heard this twice today, but since it isn't Christmas I can't believe it until I see it. Could it be that our athlete has finally seen the light and broken it off with the reality star I cannot stand. Kim Kardsahian/Reggie Bush

53. TED CASABLANCA 07/25
One Fruit-of-the-Doom Blind Vice: OK, was going to do the Blind Vice story on the Academy Award-friendly actress who thinks her cats can read, which is why she has their names written on their separate litter boxes, but that tale simply pales in comparison to Toothy Tile, who’s back and gayer than, like, ever! Dude’s losin’ his recent, overly prissy, shy shit and gettin’ his non-Nellie nerve back on (much to everyone’s surprise, just not mine). See, ol’ Tooth, our fave partner in sex-in-public crime is being just as brazen, only with words, not his crotch. The pretty boy (man, on occasion) is gleefully telling more than a few gossipy girls—which means boys, natch, in highly exaggerated fagola speak, but then, I’m sure you already knew that, hon-cakes—that he’s quite aware the hunt for his identity is on. And has been for sometime. Says he enjoys it, even. Who wouldn’t, really? Especially if you’re dead certain your identity will never be revealed. Yep, that’s right. T2 says he’s havin’ such a fab gay ol’ experience of it all because he’s "sure," as it’s been relayed to this columnist, that the true identity of Mr. Tile will never, ever be discussed by yours truly. Oh, really? Is that so? Just don’t count on it, bud. What with the myriad lies to the public (I mean, really, you’re as bad about your true sexual persuasion as Cathy Douglas is with her age), you're on thin vice, babe, so watch it. AND IT AIN’T: Matthew Broderick; Ricky Martin; Wentworth Miller

54. PANACHE REPORT 07/25
If this black female celebrity wanted to, she could get separate allowances and lavish gifts from her current celebrity man kept in the shadows and a very wealthy black female celebrity in her industry. She's rolling in a six figure car gifted to her by her discreet celebrity man and she also has a clothing and bling allowance and receives expensive perfumes via courier and flies out of town on a moment's notice with her super rich boyfriend via private jet. They have traveled to exotic locations all over the world. And, boyfriend has arranged for her to have a concierge on call 24/7 for any need she may have in any part of the world. Meanwhile, the famous woman who has a girl crush on her is trying to up her game and convince her to have a discreet lesbian relationship with her. She 's also offered her an allowance, gifts, etc. So far, our black female celebrity appears disinterested and often says, "Let's remain friends, we don't have to take it to that level." But our potential sugar mama isn't accustomed to taking no for an answer and she's enjoying the challenge and telling other industry lesbians, "I'm going to get her!" This girl crush may eventually disrupt their friendship because our female celebrity is growing tired of the constant flirting but our potential sugar mama is so caught up in trying to snag her, she doesn't have a clue. Who is the famous black female? The rich and famous boyfriend kept in the shadows? The potential sugar mama?
famous black female: Ciara
rich and famous boyfriend: 50 Cent
potential sugar mama: Missy Elliot

55. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/25
#1 - Besides being a drunken buffoon, this A list actor has caused quite the stir at one of the gated complexes in which he lives. Seems he is a big fan of long walks at night. The thing is, his walks seem to always call for a break whenever he sees an open window that he can peer through. Doesn't seem to be all about sex. He just likes walking up to open windows and looking in. Neighbors don't appreciate it very much, although so far it has only involved private security and not the cops.

#2 - Mild mannered on and off screen, this aging, but not old, former Academy Award winning actor has a favorite haunt. He loves this S&M club. Although his name is on the membership records, when he is at the club or an event he always wears a mask the entire time and has everyone call him Steve. His favorite activities always have to include redheads. Don't know why, just one of his kinks apparently. Harrison Ford

#3 & 4 - This male television A-lister and C+ film lister has a unique game. How many different women he can have sex with in 24 hours? No hookers allowed. Has to be women he picks up. So far his current record is 7. His male co-star with a steady girlfriend keeps track. Oh, and the girlfriend knows and thinks it is hot. Her word, definitely not mine.  Zach Braff (Donald Faison)

56. BAD FISH 07/25
#1 This legendary bachelor has a secret up his nose. He indulges in only the finest, and from a Hollywood gent who knows how to kill two birds with one stone. Our lothario shows up, shockingly, alone. No entourage or arm candy. He stays for awhile, indulges and chats a bit with his supplier. And more often than not he'd also dip into the supplier's home stash. Not his cocaine. The kept girl he'd found through a service. Neither the girl nor the supplier minded: business is business and she knew why she was there. He'd pay the man, pay the girl, and go home. Don't believe the gay rumors about this one. He's a solid bisexual all the way. George Clooney

#2 How do I describe this girl without giving it away completely. Hm. I guess all I'll say is her dubious choices in sexual partners, not to mention the frequency and indiscretion, can be traced back to one little problem: the china white. Its also rumored to be the reason behind a breakup from not too long ago, a real good honest relationship, something our slut just never does. Oh, and her new partner? Yeah, its got him, too. I guess no one can quite think clearly when they've got a numb face and a straw up their nose...but it certainly explains the bad choices they've made of late. He was already on it when he met her and now together, they're steering out of control.
girl: Sienna Miller
current boyfriend: Balthazar Getty
ex-boyfriend: Rhys Ifans

#3 One woman. Two pregnancies, neither much different from the other. Same douchebag husband. Same family drama. Same job. Same half a bottle of wine every night. Another mother to be that uses the "They let pregnant women drink their wine in Europe!" excuse. Yeah, but I'm sure they don't recommend getting drunk, honey. Tori Spelling

57. PEREZ HILTON 07/25
What actress was just dropped by her agent because she has a drug and alcohol problem and refuses to get help????? Here's a hint: Her shady husband might have something to do with her problem! Brittany Murphy

58. BAD FISH 07/26
What rap legend (in his own mind) is double dipping? He's made a few very noncharacteristic (from what the public knows, anyway), shall we say, homo-friendly moves lately which may have surprised a few people. But those who know him best suspect he's up to his old tricks: scouting for a replacement to bring to the innerfold since that one dapperly dressed gentleman is long gone. Surprised it took him so long. Keep you friends close, your enemies closer, and your downlow jumpoff even closer still. P. Diddy

59. PANACHE REPORT 07/28
GAY CRUISING: This black male celebrity is equally known for his work in front of the scenes as well as his work behind the scenes. When he used to tour with a group, he often begged for the female background singers to participate in orgies with him in his hotel room with groupies, some declined and others didn't. Soon, he began experimenting with threesomes, trying to suppress his homosexual urges but the urges became to strong and he can no longer deny that he's completely homosexual. Earlier this year, we were informed by a male friend, on Halloween, a limousine pulled into a store parking lot, the back window came down and the celebrity gestured for our male friend. When our friend recognized him and called him by name, the window went up and the limo sped off. Now, we're receiving reports that our celebrity was seen hanging out (in shades and a hat) at a well known gay pickup park. You have the option of having sex on park premises (hidden by bushes), in the back of a van or the backseat of a car. Adult film producers also recruit talent from this park. Apparently, he likes random sex with anonymous strangers to satisfy his sex fantasies and is a known fixture in L.A. bookstores with glory holes on the premises. We've also been informed that our male celebrity shows resentment and jealousy towards a few female singers, just like a jealous woman. Who is he? R. Kelly

60. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/28
This one almost sounds like a soap. So, CBS soap and you have a former star (#1) who broke up with her celebrity boyfriend (#2) for a guy on the show (#3). Well turns out that he was really enjoying her while she was with the other guy but didn't really want her full-time. Then after she did break up with her celebrity boyfriend and was expecting to be swept into her arms, she must have been devastated to learn that another woman on the show (#4) had also left her actor husband (#5) for #3 as well. Got all that?

#2 is all alone. #3 & #4 are together.
"The Guiding Light"
#1: Stephanie Gatschet
#2:
#3: Tom Pelphrey
#4: Gina Tognoni

61. RUSH & MOLLOY 07/29
What designer's grandson was a "tiny terror" at Super Saturday in the Hamptons last weekend? As Lorraine Bracco, Christy Turlington, Kelly Ripa and 1,500 others shopped at the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund benefit, "The kid was a category 5 tornado," one shocked shopper tells us, "knocking over clothing and displays." He then lifted a woman's dress, and, the source adds: "Neither his mother nor a nanny bothered to intercede. [The mom] didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed." Finally, after several hours of misdeeds, the child was taken home.

62. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/29
I wish for a change I could just find something simple like which A lister does crack in his house while shooting off shotguns in his living room? That would be nice. Hell on the neighbors, and family, but nice and simple. Instead, it is another one which more closely resembles the world we live in. I would have to say that this television and film actor is B list by his body of work, but probably C list in name recognition. Everyone who reads the site would know who he is and he definitely has a huge body of work. He really only has one award and it is not one you particularly want to win. Now, me, I would accept anything, but I'm easy. Anyway, our actor is married, with child(ren) and whenever he can get out of town or away from the wife he has someone that he is fairly serious about. She is definitely C list all the way but on a very hit network drama. She is gorgeous and busty and has a very well known beard she has been hanging out with in public. Apparently the couple feels they are safe when they are out of town and so are all over each other. Their most recent foray was slightly south of LA.

63. PEREZ HILTON 07/29
What delusional stage mother was kicked out of the after-party for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere in NYC on Monday night for being a drunken mess???? Love her! Dina Lohan

64. PANACHE REPORT 07/30
Presently, there are two black female singers involved with rappers who lead a double life as dope boys to supplement their income. Due to peer pressure and the love of the bling-bling lifestyle. These less than moderate rappers have to keep up with the jones's at any cost. They have to create an illusion of wealth or they feel insignificant or invisible. One of the black female singers is like a crutch to her non-talent rapper because he supplies her with free drugs. She probably wouldn't look at him twice if not for this perk. The other female singer doesn't give a damn what her rapper/dope boy does as long as he brings in the money so they can continue to front with materialistic objects such as designer bags, expensive bling and expensive whips. Both rapper/dope boys cheat on their women with a bevy of groupies and legions of video girls. Who are these two couples? Hint: Not T.I. Keisha Coles/Young Jeezy and Fantasia/Young Dro

65. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/30
A very long time ago I posted about the B list couple (films and television for both with television being their forte) that hated being married to each other, but lived with it because they hated admitting they were wrong in public more. They are the couple who negotiated deals with each other for photos together. They never took many together, but at least it was some. Well now, they can't even stand to take photos together and her girlfriend is getting antsy and wants to take things public. He understands because he also plays for the home team, although not as openly. The problem is his career couldn't take the exposure of an outing while hers could probably use the boost. Oh, they do have (a) child(ren). David Duchovny/Tea Leoni

65. LAINEY’S GOSSIP 07/31
You’d think they’d be liquid, you know? Flush from the funds of so many different projects, across so many different mediums, by so many different sources. But that’s the thing with celebrities. They’re richer than we are, to be sure, but some of them really aren’t THAT rich, especially when you factor in the lifestyle. Being not that rich isn’t a problem. Being not that rich and not paying your bills is a big problem. Being not that rich, not paying your bills, but still spending your balls off is a huge problem. So they have projects around the house. Some construction here, some wiring there, installations, renovations...it never stops. It never stops because they keep having to hire new people. Inevitably the invoice will arrive, they won’t be able to pay it, so they end up calling someone else to finish the job. They don’t pay those people either. How f&cking ghetto, non??? Like people who keep taking out credit card after credit card? Only these assholes are wealthy! They have jobs! They earn celebrity salaries! Which means they’re too stupid to manage their finances and too cheap to figure out their finances before satisfying their non-urgent, vanity-motivated projects at the expense, literally, of labourers and small business owners who trusted the wrong millionaires. Slowly but surely, they’ve pretty much exhausted the entire contracting community in town, verging on blacklist, and are now several hundred thousand dollars in the hole to several companies in Hollywood. Word is they’re facing legal action, and even a lien on their property... Probably the reason behind the new round of exploitation. They need the cash. But do we still care? A few years ago, before everyone and their eyebrow stylist had a reality show, it was a novel concept. Now? Now they’re totally almost irrelevant – the proof in that lies in a deal one of them tried to strike with the paps recently. She needed cash so badly, she arranged for some "candids" in exchange for a few quid. Unfortunately her images weren’t selling and the photographers cut her off. Shame! Word is, even Phoebe Price out-earns her... In this economy, how will they ever recover? The Osbournes

66. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 07/31
Hey, it's definitely not Ben Affleck, but it is someone who starred with him in a film once. Of course that could be a lot of people so lets narrow it down to B- actor, 95% films, although two great television appearances that come to mind are also part of his resume. He has basically been off the radar the past year. Oh sure, a bit part here and a bit part there, but this actor with the A list facial recognition has spent the better part of the past year in rehab. Not quite the crack smoking in the living room firing off shotguns, but he did manage to abuse just about every drug you can imagine over the past three years. What finally sent him to rehab though was his ex wife's promise to take away visitation rights of their child(ren) if he didn't stop leaving her/him/them unattended so he could both score and use drugs. The drug paraphernalia littering the floor was probably also not good parenting. Ray Liotta

67. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 07/31
1. A well known Rapper is about to regret dating a reality TV Star. She is talking about their love life and his love of men. Busta Rhymes/Delicious

2. This Superstar needs to find a permanent girlfriend fast. He keeps getting into fake relationships, and his cover is about to be blown. He is starting to look foolish with the fake relationships. Either get a real girlfriend or be honest about who you are? Neyo

68. TED CASABLANCA 07/31
One Draw-Strung-Out Blind Vice: Toothy Tile, doll-hon, you’ve met your homo match. ‘Cause there’s a new rising, closeted star in town (actually, he’s been rising for, like, ages now, but, whatev) who’s putting your clandestine, closeted—not to mention kinky!—ways to shame. Maybe you know him? Name’s Crotch Uh-Lastic. Ring a bell, babe? Thought so. Now, keep in mind, Toothy and Crotch have never made a flick together, though they do both go in for the same roles rather often. Similar brooding thing going on. You know, that tough yet tangible, touchable, almost boyish loveliness, a little crusty on the sides, too. Know the type? Oh who cares about actor oeuvre, let’s get to the dirty part and oozing sex outta control, my little horn-hons! So Crotch, like a lot of his hetero counterparts in this Biz, is all wrapped up in fantasy. Whereas Toothy likes it dangerous and out in the open—Hollywood parking lots, anybody?—Crotch prefers his assignations played out as if they were the plots of one of his artier flicks (he's had plenty). This is how the boy likes it: He chooses a stud, latest one being a straight—wink, wink, right—trainer who’s busy trying to get a modeling/acting/smoldering-look career going and asks him to come over to the Hollywood pad. Mr. U.-L. has an East Coast home, too, but the pool in his Hollywood hang is so much fun for game playing. The man-meat Crotch has selected is told, beforehand, to await his limo ride to the Hell-Ay house and, once he arrives, to head straight to the pool area, adorned with chaise lounges. On these tastefully tufted settees, like little lost Saks Fifth Avenue summer catalog lovelies, lay various box-cut (never Speedo, how Matthew McConaughey!) swim trunks. Silently, oh so discreetly, the stud-for-hire is then told to take off all his clothes and put on any of the suits he likes, at which point Crotch struts out and the inevitable seduction, complete with end-of-the-show water works, begin. And Crotch can only get the ol’ equipment up and hosing, I’m told, if said scenario is pursued. How damn exhausting. Whatever happened to a little sweat, not too much intrigue and even fewer props? Is that so old-fashioned? For Crotch, the answer would be yes. AND IT AIN’T: Tobey Maguire; Topher Grace; Matthew McConaughey James Franco

69. PANACHE REPORT 08/01
"GHETTO FABULOUS": This black female celebrity is experiencing a lot of unfulfilled nights. Rumor has it, she's even signed up with an online dating service that caters to celebrities discreetly. She is desperate for a man, so much so, at a recent party she hosted, she got a little too close and personal with the former lead singer of a boy band. She is also the "Alpha Dog," of her notorious loud and ghetto girl crew. Club owners hate to see them coming. They are loud, unladylike and they dance too provocative with strangers. It's even rumored that a crew member was seen getting busy on her knees in a club parking lot with a guy she had just met on the dance floor. Sadly, our female celebrity's star has faded and she has become more insecure. She is at a boiling point and recently told a friend, she doesn't know if she can take anymore rejection in her personal life or her career. She is close to a meltdown. Who is she? Gabrielle Union

70. TED CASABLANCA 08/01
There’s a very high-profile dame in town who might want to start getting better friends. Her serpent-tongued amigas are selling out their girlfriend—who’s divorcing from her creepazoid, very rich hubby—right and left, talking crap about her everywhere. Hosts are complaining about having to "choose" which half of the splitting couple they’ll invite to parties. What a dilemma! Seating plans trump mental anguish any day in H'wood, right? No one cares about said potential divorcée, in the least, only about her soon-to-be-ex-schmuck’s money. Women, per usual, are expendable in this town. Never the green.

71. HOLY MOLY 08/01
Which bejeweled crooner has for years been hiding a rent-boy addiction from the world? Despite being married (and then divorced) and being photographed with a bevy of beauties, a mole tells us that at the height of his fame (1971-1973) he had many affairs with rent boys during a UK tour. Neil Diamond

72. POPBITCH 08/01
This fashion-forward actress has a love-it-or-hate-it look. But how does she achieve it? A strict diet, regular exercise and vomiting "whenever she felt a bit full".

73. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/01
This week four kindness items, and next week four big jackass items. The first of these is pretty obvious and I made it so because one of them could use some hugs right about now.

#1 - This sister singing duo from a foreign country were performing a show in Los Angeles one time and as usual it was completely sold out. Not a huge place, and as a result there were lots of people who were sent away without getting in. Well, there was a group of about ten girls who were not going to go anywhere and they decided they would at least sit outside the place in the hopes they could hear a few notes at least. Well somehow that news made it to the two wingers and they decided to take the entire group of girls and brought them backstage and let them watch the entire show from the the side of the stage. After the show they posed for photos, signed autographs and gave away practically anything that was giveable. The Veronicas

#2 - This former A list television actor on a very huge super sized hit network comedy and now someone who is trying to find some other identity other than that character either in television or film makes sure that he gives blood every two months like clockwork. He has been doing this now for almost ten years all with no fanfare or attention. Matt LeBlanc

#3 - Wow this actress is the epitome of a B/C lister. Everyone knows her because she has had some great roles on some great television shows and some films. Everytime she gets her own series, it doesn't do so well, but she is incredibly well liked. Right now she is filming a remake/sequel to one of my favorite films of all time from the 70's. I'm cheesy that way. Anyway, when she is in LA, she volunteers at an after school program which helps kids with their homework and to give them adult guidance they may not get at home. When she is filming in a different city, she calls around and tries to do the same thing at other schools on a temporary basis. Carla Gugino (Race to Witch Mountain)

#4 - Is this actor A list? Interesting question. He was an A list action film star and then kept giving it all away. Now he is probably still considered A list by definition, but probably more a B. Well in the past several years, this actor has without any publicity given away about $250,000 to various SPCA charities and other pet organizations. Turns out the guy everyone always thinks is a jerk is actually a pretty nice guy. Vin Diesel

74. FASHIONISTA 08/01
WHICH prime-time beauty is not just a total diva these days, but a bit of a brat, too? For a recent shoot, in addition to requesting her own chartered plane, she insisted that her own team of hair and makeup people be flown out from LA, with their own car services once on the ground. Then, upon arriving at the shoot, she declared that she wouldn't wear any of the "cheap clothes" the stylists had pulled, sending everyone on set into a frenzy of pulls and returns. Katherine Heigl; Hayden Panattierre

75. PANACHE REPORT 08/04
When this black female celebrity first arrived on the scene, she was down to earth and approachable. I once saw her in a theater watching herself on film, when the movie ended, the lights came up and fans recognized her, she stood patiently and signed every autograph for every fan. Now, we're hearing that she's getting more and more temperamental and demanding on each new project and she now shuns her fans. We can safely say that she's caught up in the Hollywood lifestyle and the attitude that comes along with it. To make matters worse, she's distanced herself from friends who were there before she made it and she makes herself purposely unavailable to those who were helpful to her career in the beginning. Hint: She may be successful in more than one field. Jennifer Hudson; Beyonce; Raven Simone

76. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/04
#1 - Well this former B list television actor and now hanging by a thread anyway he can C lister must have given up on ever getting his girlfriend back. Either that or she appreciates when her boyfriend hits on women by saying, "you look just like my ex." Jesse Metcalfe

2 - This B- film lister is a serial cheater. However, his girlfriend knows this and so goes to great lengths to not let him out of her sight. Well yesterday at the Teen Choice Awards he told her she wasn't allowed to go backstage and so she dutifully sat in the audience while he hit on women left and right and filled up his phone with "business contacts." Channing Tatum (He has moved up the list in the past few years hasn't he? That is the only thing that has changed though)

77. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/05
I've heard of the casting couch, but this puts an entirely new twist on it. So you have a director who is an A list director all the way. Award winning? Sure. The thing about this guy though is that his wife is notorious for coming on a set and finding a woman to play with during the shoot. Invariably an extra, or a woman with a small role, she can often find her role expanded to a bigger role if she is especially good to the director's wife over the course of the shoot. The director himself is never involved in any of the hanky panky, but does acquiesce to his wife's demands for her play thing's role. Woody Allen/Soon Yi; Baz Luhrmann/Catherine Martin

78. BUZZFOTO 08/05
Buzzfoto has decided to do Blind Items a little differently. We’ll post three pictures of celebs and you have to guess which one we’re talking about. Do your research because we’ll never tell! This A-list starlet with highlighted hair and even more highlighted relationships went on a recent shopping trip the other day. She racked up a high bill with expensive items. She even had the store’s staff running around like crazy getting special items for her. Problem is, this starlet likes to spend a little too much. When she got up to the counter to check-out, her card was denied. In fact, every card she tried was denied. Too embarrassed to ask the paps for money, she put the stuff on hold and left the store! PHOTOS: Jessica Simpson; Lindsay Lohan; Reese Witherspoon. Lindsay Lohan

79. PANACHE REPORT 08/06
This black male celebrity has such a clean cut image but away from the limelight, he's an uncontrollable sex addict who has to have sex at least three times a day. He's been spotted in the seedy part of Los Angeles incognito going into adult bookstores, sex shops and swinger clubs. He's also been spotted in the red light district in New York. This is the real reason his last few relationships broke up, he literally wore the women out because his sexual demands were non-stop. He's not alone, him and a gospel star belong to an underground "unofficial" sex club where men congregate to discuss their sexual conquests and adventures. They also hook each other up with the url's to "one night stand" dating sites and websites that feature the hottest escorts. Our gospel star is on the make 24/7 and when he's not having sex, he's thinking about sex and he's well known on the escort circuit.
black mail celebrity: Dennis Haysbert; Wayne Brady
gospel star: Kirk Franklin

80. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/06
Which former A list television actress and now B list film queen has moved from the pot world to the smack world? What started off as a sometime thing smoking it has turned into a two or three time a day injection habit. Jennifer Aniston; Sarah Michelle Gellar

81. PEREZ HILTON 08/07
What slutty tween star has been wearing a prosthetic on her teeth during recent photo shoots, like those child beauty queens in pageants? It's like a temporary veneers, we're told. Hey, whatever works. Anything is better than those chipmunk teeth! Miley Cyrus

82. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/07
I think that in the blind items there have been stabbings, beatings, overdoses, and even a poison, but I think this is the first time anyone has actually been shot. I know there have been guns being shot, but no one actually hit. The thing about this one which is scary is that even though it was probably an accident, knowing the history of this family, you can never know for sure. Film star, although back in the day he did some television. In fact even though no one really likes him now, they probably did then. Aging, but not old. B list although he was A list and he could still open a film, although you probably wouldn't want him to. Not a franchise guy. Oh, not Ben Affleck, so lets get that out of the way. Anyway, our actor was at what he likes to call his estancia but is really just a ranch and was shooting off guns with his son. Apparently at some point he started drinking and got angry at something his son had done and just fired down at the sand in front of his son. Missed the sand, but got the son right in the shin bone. Private security guards, a doctor and all just a whisper. The only reason it got out at all is one of the teachers who home schools the child(ren) let it slip to someone who passed it on to me. Michael Douglas

83. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 08/07
When is this Pop Singer going to start dressing her age? She’s almost 40, and she continues to wear teenage outfits. At a recent TV show, she was lip singing, and the kids in the audience were laughing at her. They kept pointing at her, screaming at her to sit down. The Pop Singer even married a younger man, but it is not helping her with younger fans. Mariah Carey

84. PANACHE REPORT 08/08
She comes from the streets and she loves the streets. She used to hang with a crew, they were boosters, sexed men, a few members had trick babies and they ran the "murphy" on older men-where they lured them to isolated or vacant homes with the promise of sex. As soon as the man came through a door, a guy would rob him at gunpoint. One of the girls worked as a stripper and would talk men into taking her home, she would case the place, go to the bathroom, call her boys on her cell, and he would be robbed of everything, later that evening, at gunpoint. The crew was scandalous and they loved getting into fights with other women. They loved administering the beat-down, talking smack and being strapped. And, they hijacked bling from stores and robbed people at gunpoint. They loved keeping it "gutter." The leader of the pack, aka alpha dog, decided to give it a try in Hollywood since she was the best looking one out of the crew. She brought a few of her girls out with her. In no time at all, they were working their way through the NFL, MLB and NBA. They tried to milk dry every sports star they encountered. One of the girls went out of her way to make a discreet sex tape with a married athlete. She blackmailed him and got a nice pay off and returned home. Meanwhile, our alpha dog was making a name for herself on the C-list circuit in Hollywood. Her career has stalled and she's older. She can't snag the ballers like she used to because they are into younger girls. She depressed, she's drinking out of a flask and doing cocaine and these days, she seems to be enjoying the company of women over men. She's on the verge of a major meltdown and her money is dwindling. Who Is She? Hint: Very well known in the black community. LisaRaye

85. HOLY MOLY 08/08
(a British blog)
1. Goodness gracious me - what on EARTH was this married singer doing snogging that twig thin super actress backstage at the LA Forum? Isn't one actress enough, you coward?!
married singer: Chris Martin
thin super actress: Kate Bosworth

2. Which mum of the year actually dyed her baby's hair blonde as she didn't want a ginger kid? Jordan (Katie Price)

86. TED CASABLANCA 08/08
This is just great. Not only is Crotch Uh-Lastic, whom you all met last week—-and whom I could have sworn it would be at least a few weeks before we all said hullo to again—really does have his brains stuffed deep inside his paramours’ overly tight swimsuits. See, the big-screen idol, whose pics make all kinds of bucks because their themes are all so brilliantly multiplatform, is doing things just like Toothy Tile. Now that word’s just beginning to get out that Crotch loves to lure "straight" men back to his Hollywood pad and have them don all sorts of skimpy swimwear (just so CUL can slowly take it right off), Crotchy-poo’s pullin’ an emergency Toothy! AND IT AIN’T: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson; Matthew Broderick; Sean "Diddy" Combs. James Franco

87. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/08
#1 - This female reality star from a cable program and sexy as hell, at least according to her did a Starbucks dance. No, not like Eva, but more of a hissy fit. See, when most people get the wrong drink order, or if it is not hot, or whatever they ask nicely to have it replaced. Well our reality vixen decided that what she would do is just take her ice coffee and dump it on the counter and say, "here's your tip," and then walk out. Tila Tequila

#2 - Hotel in Las Vegas. Our B list actress from a hit network comedy who is usually friendly must have been extremely upset to pull this kind of diva behavior. Checks in to the hotel with her baby, a nanny and about 10 items of luggage. The hotel is packed, but she wants service right then. Gets up to her room. Says it faces the wrong direction, wants a new suite. Finds out there is nothing available for an hour or so. "Well you better find someone who can clean faster because if I don't have a room in the next five minutes, I am going to tell everyone I know, your hotel sucks. I don't care how many Mexicans you have to call, I want a new room. Now." HINT: Her show isn't on the air any longer. The next one either. I feel like she has gone through a ton of boyfriends/husbands since this was written and a million bottles of booze. Connected to David Spade. Jaime Pressley (both in "Joe Dirt") Jaime Pressley

#3 - Car rental return. Minneapolis of all places. Our B-/C+ list film actor with a more famous brother returns his car. Dents all over the hood. Everywhere. Dirty. Tells the rental person someone did it in his hotel parking garage. Looks like someone was jumping up and down on the hood. Turns out though our actor forgot to change his dirty shoes which seemed to match exactly the foot size and treads on the hood. Idiot. And drunk still. Luke Wilson

#4 - Virgin record store on Hollywood Blvd. Former teen A lister and now basically a has been bum, although still fairly young. Walks through the entire store just randomly throwing CD's and DVD's into a basket. Must be 100 of them. Not looking at any, just grabbing them by the handful and throwing them into this basket. Goes to checkout and wants them all for free. The cashier says they don't really do that. Our has been wants a manager. One comes over and our has been says they are for a kids organization he is working with. The manager looks at the pile and knows the has been is lying. Says he just can't help him. Our has been does the don't you know who I am routine, and the manager says he knows exactly who the has been is, but can't do anything about it. The back and forth continues, and then the has been gives up. Before he leaves though he asks the manager for $20. Corey Haim

88. FULL DISCLOSURE 08/10
Which TV leading lady has become quite the demanding diva? Following her recent movie successes, she's trying to get more than triple her current salary. Katherine Heigl

89. PANACHE REPORT 08/11
Part 1: This black male celebrity is spending a fortune on "call girl beards," six figures for this year alone thus far. He goes to great lengths to hide his sexuality, although it's very obvious he's gay away from the cameras. He loves to leer at attractive men and has a thing for anonymous sex with strangers in parks and in the stairwells of multi-level airport parking structures. Whenever he needs a "beard" for a date, he demands that the women be bi-racial or highly mixed because he is color struck. When he accompanies his boys in the industry to strip clubs, he's has a look of boredom on his face as he scans the crowd for attractive men and fantasizes about call boys and male go-go dancers. Rumor has it that he can't even get aroused with a woman and stiffens up when celebrity women embrace him at industry events. John Legend; Jamie Foxx; Ne-Yo

Part 2: This black politician was well respected throughout the 80's and 90's. We have been informed, despite being married, he felt pressured to have a mistress, despite being secretly bi-sexual-allegedly. An aide negotiated with the selected mistress for a "no sex involved" arrangement. She was expected to accompany him away from his wife, when he went on political trips with his male political friends and their mistresses. What makes this story disturbing, this man would later be rumored to be part of a child pedophile ring which included underage boys for sex. These rumors have proven to be unfounded but reliable sources say it was a big cover-up and swept under the rug and gay rumors surrounded this man for a very long time despite his marriage and call girl beard. Maynard Jackson 3 term mayor of Atlanta

90. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/11
This hit sequel almost didn't come to fruition. The reason? How about an A list film actor who was also an A list television actor who couldn't keep his libido under control. Seems as if this A lister took a bet from another A list film actor that a certain wife, of yet a third A list film actor was open to his charms. Well it turns out that he was right. The wife of the third A list actor did have a relationship with our first A list actor. I guess maybe relationship is the wrong word. It was either once or twice, depending on which story you believe. What is known though is that the wife confessed all to the third A list actor who then decided he couldn't work with A list actor number one anymore. He finally gave in to the pressure from the studio, but has not said one word to A list actor #1 outside of hello or goodbye since that date. As for the bet? A list actor #1 offered up his girlfriend for the night. A list actor #2 offered up his girlfriend for the night. Unfortunately no one bothered to check if this was ok with the girlfriend of A list actor #2. She declined, although not for being bartered in a bet, or possibly destroying a marriage. She just didn't find A list actor #1 appealing.
A list actor #1:
A list actor #2:
A list actor #3:

91. BILLY MASTERS 08/11
Could it be that a certain closet-hopping gal has landed yet another gay dude? She's certinly got a thing for hot men of dubious sexuality - high IQ not required. And now she's with that "confirmed bachelor," a term which used to be code for "gay" way back when. No one's saying anything publicly, but she's dancing as fast as she can, which is fine. She's taken the lead, which is good since he's more of a follower, anyway. Andy Baldwin & Karina Smirnoff

92. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/12
I don't know what this says about her reputation, but apparently can't be great. This A list television/ B list film actress is on a hit network drama, in a 2007 hit film, and is fairly newly married. In her pre-nup it stipulates that she is to never be alone with another male in her trailer or dressing room. Now, I don't know how her husband is ever going to be able to enforce that without a camera on her 24/7, but apparently she must get into all sorts of trouble when left alone. Katherine Heigl

93. PANACHE REPORT 08/13
This black actor has his share of female admirers. He's masculine and considered tall, and handsome. His career seems to be taking off and many consider him a sex symbol. He co-starred on a popular show and he's appeared in several movies. Although he's not a household name, he's recognizable. Despite this, women are whispering and gossiping and his nickname has become "fake sex symbol." Despite that nice physique, sexiness and masculinity, our actor is an absolute failure in bed. Women are complaining coast to coast about him being very under-developed and being completely oblivious to the art of good lovemaking. One woman said, "you practically have to guide him, it's obvious he doesn't know what he's doing, like a virgin." "And, let's not talk about his lack of manhood." His publicist tried to set him up with a female star to increase publicity/visibility for her client but the female star declined (even though she could have used the publicity) but she had heard about his reputation and passed. He may be enjoying success on the screen but he is a complete failure in the bedrooms of celebrity and non-celebrity women.  Idris Elba

94. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/13
#1 - How do you try and revive a career that only you want revived? Well, in Hollywood this year you can either get pregnant, or do what this C list film/B list television actress that I love to hate is going to do. Become a lesbian. Yes, you heard it here first. This actress is going to loudly dump her boyfriend and start dating a woman simply for the publicity. Forget about the days of hiding the fact you are gay, this actress has it all lined up. Instead of paying someone to be a beard for you, this actress is going to take some of her fast dwindling cash and pay someone to be her lesbian lover. Misha Barton

#2 - I honestly didn't believe it the first time I heard this about a month ago, but when I heard it again yesterday, I started to believe. This actress is C list. Used to be on a hit network television show. Now she does films. Definite B list name recognition. Long term boyfriend who everyone assumed she was bearding for. True? Who the hell knows. But, this is where it gets even more interesting. Despite the fact that she is one of the most desired women in Hollywood and radiates sex, it turns out that our actress is actually a virgin. Going to remain one until she is married which is why she actually enjoyed bearding. Guess her relationship prior to that was all about fighting the guy off. Rachel Bilson

95. PEREZ HILTON 08/13
What D list celebrity, who just got married a couple of months ago, is already on the outs with his wife??? Yes, there's another woman involved. But we always thought he was gay! Chris Kattan

96. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/14
#1 - I like snarky blind items and funny ones, but not the biggest fan of sad ones. But, it is what it is and this B- list mostly television actress with A- list name recognition had a miscarriage. No drugs or anything. No shocking reason why. It is just what it is. Eva Longoria

#2 - How shocked will the world be when they find out about this conservative, national talk radio host and his 18 year old sometime girlfriend? Not as shocked as they will be when they find out she was only 17 when they started doing the dirty.

97. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 08/14/
1. This major magazine is finding out the hard way just because you shell out millions of dollars for exclusive pictures, doesn’t mean you will have a million-seller issue on your hands. Plus, everyone is starting to pick up on the fact that this magazine regularly ignores minority babies. People Magazine

2. You can’t fake a friendship…a very popular entertainer is finding out the hard way you don’t destroy a friendship over petty jealousy. Now, it’s too late for him to apologize. Steve Harvey or D.L. Hughley and Bernie Mac

98. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/15
So how about some original 90210 blinds. They all involve people who were on the show. And no, not just people who were on for an episode or two.

#1 - This actress recently reunited with her former flame for about a week of loving when each of their current relationships turned sour at about the same time. After a week they realized why the hell they had broken up in the first place. Vanessa Marcil and Brian Austin Green

#2 and #3 - Despite the age difference, this younger actress on the show came out to this older actress on the show and they had a love affair for about a year. The older actress had been married, but was not at the time of the romance. The younger actress has never been married.

#4 - Although she was portrayed as innocent on the show, in real life, this actress was not so innocent. During the course of each season she would generally get with 4-5 different members of the cast and crew. If you do the math, it is quite the number. Tori Spelling

99. TED CASABLANCA 08/15
Hold on to your hetero panties, ladies, because quite unlike Crotch Uh-Lastic, we've got a far straighter (for real) predator in town. Humpy, quasi-gorgeous reality-star Dexter Lecter likes to lurk around the Hell-Ay club scene looking for his fix or fixes, we should say—for purposes of full-disclosure journalism, as we know that's real important to all you horny hon-pies!—for the night. And let me tell ya, this addict never runs out of willing victims. See, D.L.'s minifame is rather new, but it's building faster than his body parts, as D.L.'s dating (ha!, doing is more like it) a rather standout character on one of those catty faux reality shows we all can't get enough of. Admit it. Right now. Of course, you live for watching this crap as much as we do. Despite Dexty's shy game onscreen, he gets quite lucky, big-time when the cameras aren't rolling. His attractiveness is def a help in the female-fishing department, but look—and this is what we've really gotta dish 'bout—his not-so-coy pickup lines scream: SoCal slut of all time. Yum, yum, right? Uh, not really. Think of it as desultory mix between Porta-Potbelly and Gerard Butler, take a peek: "I can only f--k you in a couple positions, but don't worry, it will be great," he whispered in the ear of one too-too gorgeous T-town hottie who was kind enough to run and tattle right to A.T.! And how lame can you get—only two friggin’ positions? So gay. What sort of player can get away with such a crass statement? Better yet, what sort of gal goes along with this? Too many, 'cause neighbors see gals galore going in and out of Lecter's hills home 'round the clock. If only D.L.'s reality GF knew. Trust, she doesn't now, but will soon. AND IT AIN’T: Jason Wahler; Brody Jernner; Michael Lohan Doug Reinhardt

100. FULL DISCLOSURE 08/17
Which very married '90s rocker who has been touring this summer has a penchant for the college-age girls who are still lighting incense and listening to his albums? According to our tour bus spy, he brings a different co-ed home just about every night he's on the road. Dave Matthews

101. JANET CHARLTON 08/18
This rich and famous Las Vegas entertainer is adored by millions of women but he only has eyes for men - particularly men with big, beautiful feet! He is obsessed with male feet! Our guy often hires the services of rentboys, and not only does he require a handsome face and physique, but perfect feet also. He likes to kiss and cuddle young men's feet, and he coos and treats them like little babies! Barry Manilow

102. PAGE SIX 08/18
1. WHICH hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut. James Franco; Will Smith

2. WHICH oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs. Rumer Willis; Lydia Hearst

3. WHICH Mideast prince with a large posse is a bad tipper? The oil-soaked royal is leaving gratuities of just 10 percent in hot spots in St. Tropez.

103. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/18
Apparently he just couldn't take it anymore. With the exception of the actress who took a knife to her husband, you really don't see much abuse from women in the blind items. It seems though as if this B list celebrity couple is done. He of the C- list films and she of the A list television and B list films. Turns out he finally got sick and tired of the verbal abuse he took from the wife everyday. Not talking about three or four days a week, talking about every day. Did she hit him? Absolutely. Although, her favorite thing to do was to try and scratch him with the engagement and wedding ring he bought her. He has had some lovely cuts as a result of this, including stitches more than once. He has walked out before, but she has always talked him into coming back. This time though he has been gone for ten days, and isn't returning any calls. Sarah Michelle Gellar/Freddie Prinze Jr.

103. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/19
#1 - This C/B list television actress on a very hit CBS show is tired of no one paying attention to her. So, she did what any self respecting person would do in her situation. She hired a photographer who now follows her all day in his car and takes shots of her when she gets out, when she shops, shouting her name, drawing attention, whatever he can. He then tries to interest the magazines in buying them. Hasn't really worked well so far as no one ever posts any photos of her or talks about her.

#2 - This American Idol top 5 alum is thisclose to posing for a Playboy shoot in order to get her career back in gear again. Waiting in the wings? An alum from the same year who will only get the green light if the other alum passes on the deal.  Katherine McPhee/Kellie Pickler or Kellie Pickler/Katherine McPhee

#3 - Do you think the fact that this funnyman has an assistant who is a coke fiend and will sleep with anyone had an effect on the breakup of his marriage? Bill Murray; Robin Williams; Chris Kattan

104. MICHAEL MUSTO 08/19
1. Which Olympics star is rumored—and only by complete crazies, mind you—to have cut off his wee-wee so he can swim faster? Wouldn't it have been a lovely oar?

2. Which candidate's wife, when greeted at an invitational dinner by a designer from her hometown, looked completely stonefaced and couldn't even muster the slightest bit of charm or human connection? Did she forget she regularly shops at the store that designer is featured at?

3. Which late modeling titan once said of a future superstar, "I don't sign midgets," and of another closeted one, "He's too ethnic"?

4. Which faded action hero once crapped in the shower of a Vegas casino just because he could? (No shit!) Sylvester Stallone

5. Which ex–child star was begged by that woozy actress to take the three-way out of her book, but got to keep it in after she threatened to put in far more damaging things? Tatum O'Neal and Melanie Griffith

6. Which young TV actress turned chick-bonding-type-movie ensemble player is supposedly so dumb she couldn't find her name on her own birth certificate if she had to? Alexis Bledel

7. Which toupée-wearing comic has been known to murmur, "Horny, horny, horny" in clubs while pointing at cute boys for his handlers to bring over for seduction? Rip Taylor

8. Which designer is so cheap that once, instead of hiring a fitting model, she used an intern with scoliosis? Does she wonder why that line looked a little off? Donna Karan

9. What teen who was on a soap opera vividly remembers the married male 'throb of the show ringing her for attempted booty calls?

10. Which TV weatherman (no, not that one) broke up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend who used to berate him for being too femmy? Sam Champion

11. Which famous blogger was pitched an item by a New York daily paper's writer and responded: "How about if the [New York daily paper] does a feature on me?"?

12. What heavy-metal rocker stayed true to his taste by lodging at a glamorous Holiday Inn in Jersey when he had business to do in New York? Kid Rock

13. Which abrasive royalty type from a reality show was unshockingly seen doing copious amounts of blow in a tacky nightclub? Might that explain her annoying energy level?

14. Which ex-discovery of that 50-year-old pop star responded to new photos of another of her ex-discoveries by saying: "He looks beat up"? Which same guy admits to people in clubs, "I could suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick" in between choruses of "I'm high, high, high"? (And probably horny, horny, horny.)

15. Which '80s sitcom diva once called the show's head writer to say of her most problematic co-star: "We have to stop calling her a cunt. She is now officially megacunt!"? Betty White/Bea Arthur "Golden Girls"; Joan Collins/Linda Evans "Dynasty"

16. Which manic screen comic regularly has cast members gather 'round to watch his rushes and likes them to scream with laughter over how utterly brilliant he is? Jim Carrey

17. Which downtown dealer/personality no longer counts Heath Ledger as one of her clients? Is that why she seems to be in hiding? Rachel Zoe

18. Which famous twin not only looks homeless, she has a distinct body odor about her too, a scent some feel is based on sheer arrogance? Mary Kate Olsen

19. Which smash comedy writer-director has a long history of "borrowing" jokes from anyone else who's gotten a laugh with them?

20. Which image guru changed his own look by losing weight and shaving off his hair, then was horrified to find people were gossiping about whether he had cancer? Marc Jacobs

21. Which pop tart's dad has had more legal woes than the public knows about, dating back to various forms of fraud and other icky business? Michael Lohan; Hilary Duff

22. Which rock star's wife recently went into a department store and started her purchasing experience by saying to the personal shopper: "Do you know who I am?" (That's obnoxious, but probably not as bad as the more familiar "Don't you know who I am?")

23.Which late tycoon would, with typical suaveness, tell people about his legendary wife: "No one sucks dick like she does!"? Did his penis shoot oil? J. Howard Marshall/Anna Nicole Smith; Ari Onasis/Jackie Kennedy

24. What romantic lead of a Lindsay Lohan film has such little improvisational skill that in the middle of sex with a guy, he once blurted: "Fuck me, you big, uh, nelly queen!"?

25. Which late comedy legend slipped out an anti-gay joke on the air, but two of his children—a daughter and a son—happen to be totally that way? Milton Berle
and
26. Which old-time actress (who starred in a Twilight Zone) has gleefully carpet-munched with the daughter?

27. Which singer has been gaining weight thanks to the cocaine regularly blown up her rear—the only functioning membrane left in her body—by a staff member? Yes, I know that one is 15 years old, but I wanted to end with a classic. I can get away with it, honey. Don't you know who I am? Stevie Nicks

105. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/20/08
I always thought that one day these two female B list actresses (#1-tv and film equally; #2 primarily tv) with almost identical careers who are best friends would get married. Well, they still might actually, but for now they are on the outs. If I could cackle right now, I would. The two have been known to vacation with each other. However, when it came time to go this year, #1 thought she was going to have other plans, so #2 made plans with some other celebrities, because that's what celebrities do. They vacation together. Well, when #1's plans fell through she naturally thought she could tag along. Not so fast. Turns out #2, et al didn't want #1 around and #2 didn't hold back in telling her why. As in 30 minutes of telling off. Should have done that a really long time ago. Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox

106. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 08/21
1. This R&B Singer hasn’t had a hit in almost ten years. He’s due to make a comeback, but he’s afraid his fans will reject him because he looks different. This former sex symbol has gained a lot of weight. D' Angelo; Al B. Sure

2. Watch out for the big girls! This Famous Big Girl is tired of being a big girl. She had stomach surgery, and is denying her recent weight loss. But she has a big head and she is starting to look like a bobble head. Mo'Nique; Jennifer Hudson

107. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/21
#1 - This C+/B- list film actress with B+ name recognition is knocked up. Apparently the person who knocked her up is none other than a married director. That should all turn out well for everyone.
actress:
director: Judd Apatow

#2 - Speaking of pregnant. You know the American Idol participant who was weighing the Playboy offer? Well it turns out she needs to hurry because rumor has it that she is also in the family way. Katherine McPhee

108. PEREZ HILTON 08/21
Which one of Hef's main girls has been getting very close to magician Criss Angel recently???? Holly Madison

109. BUZZ FOTO 08/22
Purity Ring? More like PR ring. One of these self-proclaimed virgins is anything but. On a recent tour, this performer was so wasted during the meet and greet that they didn’t notice that a groupie had a cell phone filming parts of the sheninagans. The video footage wasn’t too salacious, but against image. Where were the handlers on this one? They are usually on top of this sort of thing, but the only thing on top was our performer, and what a performance! Time will tell if this video makes it into mainstream media. If so, look for a quick denial and some charity work. That kind of cover-up worked well for them last time. Some Choices: Taylor Swift, one of The Jonas Brothers, or Ms. Miley Cyrus.

110. HOLY MOLY 08/22
(British Blog)
1. Which parents describe their son's quinquagenarian wife (that's someone in their 50s, word fans) as nothing more than 'The Mother'? Ivana Trump & Rossano Rubicondi

2. Which popular operatic diva refuses to be in the recording studio at the same time as any backing vocalists in case they sound better than her? It all has to be mixed together afterwards.

3. Which 'Hollyoaks' actor has a massive addiction to shagging lapdancers?

111. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/22
#1 - One of the most frequent A listers to the blind items has a way to pick up women which is a bit unusual. Yes, beside the fact he is married this is unusual. What he loves doing is going to wash a load of clothes over on the east side of LA and finding women to take to hotels after. Free or pay, it really doesn't matter. Ashton Kutcher

#2 - A lister? Yeah, he really is. I mean he is a franchise and an action star. Action star A listers are kind of like women who do horror film A listers. They meet the technical definition, but it can be a stretch. Anyway, everyone knows this guy and loves him. What they probably don't know is that on his most recent press trip, he spent more time hitting on guys than doing press.

#3 & #4 - Lunch break for the crew on The Hills allows this drug dealer to make his way unnoticed into the house of one of the male stars of the show. Oh, and he comes over everyday. Sometimes more than once a day. OK, he also takes care of one of the female stars as well, but the male star passes it along to her. Lauren Conrad and Brody Jenner

112. TED CASABLANCA 08/22
ONE SPOILED-BRAT BLIND ITEM: Quite surprisingly, life is unfortunately ugly right now for Ooma Offspring, talent-less terror 'bout town. See, certain Biz dealings can be a tough swallow for the mucho rich, wannabe actress, not that you'd even know it. O2 is very much the black sheep of her quasi-famous clan, as she's not exactly as gifted as the rest of her fam members, certainly not as fetching. Celebrated life is cruel! And sometimes poor Double O has to bullishly bear the brunt of nasty-ass jokes, but the latest one is happening behind the scenes and behind 'Ma's back (until now of course). O.O. has been gearing up to go on a publicity tour for her latest pro endeavor, which is coming out soon, so like any "star" on a project, the corporation usually fronts the green for its talent's hair and makeup. Natch, Ooma's peeps have been insisting on the best of the best in necessary beautifying professionals, and the suits are very reluctant to dish out the moola required. In their opinion, Offspring's not worth the makeover dough because she's just too unfortunate looking, and no Ken Paves is going to change that (highly biased, admittedly) fact. So sad, 'cause members of O's equally famous extended fam are all devastatingly gorge with solid acting careers to match. What's a wannabe to do? (Pay for it yourself, sister, like, hello?) AND IT AIN’T: Bindi Irwin;Loudes Leon;Ali Lohan. Rumer Willis

113. NY DAILY NEWS 08/25
Which newly single TV personality tried out his sonorous baritone on young co-eds while vacationing in Mexico? "He was bouncing between college girls like a pinball," says our spy. "His son was there, and it was embarrassing to watch." Even worse, we hear there were no takers. Jimmy Kimmel

114. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/25
This B list film and television actor from a famous family and an infamous marriage really doesn't like to be bothered. How much so? Well in a hotel he was staying at, he decided he wanted to work out in the hotel gym, but only if no one was in the gym with him at the same time. See, he can't be around everyday people. So, when he walked in to the gym to work out and saw two teenage girls there, he freaked out. Instead of perhaps asking them when they were going to be done, or if he could have the room to himself, he instead, picked up the phone, called hotel security and had them removed so he could be alone. Nice huh? Alec Baldwin

115. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/26
It's been awhile since I went juicy on all of you, so figure now is the time. How juicy? Pretty damn juicy. How about in the past few days this B- list television actor with the horrible reputation and famous name, spent three hours at the apartment of an extra from his television show. How does anyone know? Well she has two roommates who were home at the time that the moaning and groaning was going on. Apparently the people in this town are even crazier than I ever imagined.

116. WINNERS USE DRUGS 08/26
Since this is a nice one, and there's no real reason to keep it hidden, we'll just play guessing game for one week, after which I will reveal! This young woman's appearance on a hit TV show has overshadowed the fact that she's actually a comedienne as well as an actress. Despite the fact that her comedic career seems to be picking up speed, perhaps even taking off, at the recent taping of a stand up special (for a network whose specials are often a HUGE milestone in a comic's career), she was anything but a diva. While she's had enough success to make any Dlister start demanding caviar and all white dressing rooms, she didn't even seem to have a minder, or even a personal assistant to order around. She was even delighted and genuinely surprised by a production member's compliment on an obscure movie movie role, and handled the entire evening with nothing but grace. Many lesser talented starlets have demanded much more for their presence, despite a less than impressive IMDB resume, but even at the taping of her premium cable special, she kept it lowkey and real. Oh, and did I mention she's black? Not that it matters, but it certainly narrows things down a bit. Aisha Tyler

117. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/27
This one was a shocker. This A list country singer who is really outspoken and appears to be morally on the straight and narrow, has some business interests he probably hopes his fans never hear about it. Turns out that he owns about a 30% interest in a group of brothels in Amsterdam as well as in Bangkok. According to person who told me about it, the singer sees nothing wrong with it because they are legal in those countries and he says it is much better than getting free drinks at some club you own. Nice. Toby Keith

118. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/28
#1 - Like father, like daughter? Despite being a couple of years underage for drinking, this B- list actress from a top rated network drama kept downing shot after shot after shot after shot at a party this weekend. Hayden Pantierre

#2 - At the same party, these two related celebutantes shared a few joints with their bad girl hero. Of course the bad girl hero is now about 15 years removed from her height of fame, but hey, she has another chance again starting next week. I'm trying to think if the trio have slept with any of the same people. Paris & Nikki Hilton with Shannen Doherty

119. UNDERGROUND BUZZ 08/28
1. This Actress/Rapper is ready to be a mom. If and when she adopts, will she reveal her true lifestyle? Queen Latifah

2. Jump offs beware!!! This sports wife is never leaving her husband. She doesn’t care if he cheats as long as he stays with her and pays the bills. Nothing will make her lose her man! Vanessa Bryant; Shaunie O'Neal

120. TED CASABLANCA 08/29
Call it One Matronly Messing Around Blind Vice. Shirley Surly's a very famous half to a highly visible couple these days. Both spouses are good looking. Both married types act like they're friggin' single, and they've done this for years. Not saying they've had orgies after the PTA meetings every other Tuesday, just that these two ain't exactly a Tom-and-Rita-type duo, not at all. And even though Shirley and her man are currently doing their damnedest to patch things up, we're told it's just because they want to look more together in their fancy neighborhood (what a friggin' lame reason, obviously this latest effort at a unified domestic front is so not going to work). Shirley's bitchy friends—who just adore the Awful Truth, thank get-even heavens—are most def not buying this nascent happy-couple act. And their fave reason for citing why they insist S2's attempt is not going to last? "Her affair with the surfing instructor," bellowed one of these big-haired broads. "They're just never going to get past it, I don't think." Love! It's all like some movie Aaron Spelling would have written before he croaked, starring Donna Mills or Lori Loughlin, or somebody. Maybe he did? Anyway, things don't look too sweet for sour Shirl's and her hubby—a happy 'n' squeaky ending does not appear forthcoming, promise. 'Cause the hunky dude with the board ain't the only cat in this pussy's bag. And It Ain't: Kate Capshaw, Annette Bening, Hillary Clinton

121. PEREZ HILTON 08/29
What newly thrust into the spotlight celebrity has a lot of enemies that are blabbing about her???? This "celeb" has an awful problem for a woman in her 30s - she sucks her thumb compulsively! Oh, yeah, and she's had liposuction on her thighs - more than once. That we can understand!

122. HOLY MOLY 08/29
(British blog)
Which family hairdressing actor got chatting to a mole and his wife in a bar and decided to continue boozing back at theirs? He went home with them and asked if they fancied a threesome, which they turned down. He asked the lady if she would show him her tits and again she said no. So he starts pleading with her: "What about just the left one?" They booted him out on his arse.

123. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 08/29
#1 - So what do you do if you are a C list actor from film and television with B+ name list recognition. You have been through several marriages, one of them extremely high profile, and have suffered through battles with drugs and alcohol and are apparently losing them again. Why, you go on sets and badger co-stars, former co-stars and others to buy Amway or whatever the hell they are calling themselves now. Our actor specializes in victimizing people with bit parts who don't want to upset him and possibly get fired so invariably buy things. Tom Arnold

#2 & 3 - Some new information about one of the bigger breakups of the year. It was an A list actor and a wannabe. Apparently the A list actor found out that the wannabe had stopped taking birth control. He found this out when she told him she might be pregnant. Apparently he felt that her purposefully not taking the pill in order to get pregnant violated a rule and showed her the curb. George Clooney/Sarah Larsen

#4 - This A list actor who had some serious health and emotional issues last year, but was allegedly on the straight and narrow either doesn't care or had a huge slip over the weekend. At the same party that brought us two blinds from yesterday, our actor managed to consume almost an entire bottle of vodka all by himself. Sweet and very quiet was how the spy described him. Owen Wilson

124. PEREZ HILTON 08/30
Which of Hugh Hefner's Girls Next Door was spotted all over Las Vegas on Friday night getting even more friendly with Criss Angel???? That's gonna be a main problem! Holly and Criss Angel

125. FULL DISCLOSURE 08/31
1. Which reality show castoff has been dating a journalist sent out to interview him for a glossy? The pair met over the q-and-a and fell so hard they are apparently moving in together.

2. Which gold-winning Olympian has been hooking up with all the male members of her team? They call it riding the train.

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Last updated: November 10, 2016