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1. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/01
WHICH famous rocker's son is really into popping pills? We wonder what his father would think of the lad getting completely wrecked?
Gene Simmons

Which drug-addled celeb failed to get her daughter accepted by a posh L.A. private school after she sent the nanny to the parent-child interview?
Courtney Love

Which Broadway leading lady is privately telling friends she can't stand her own show?

4. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/04
WHO'S the dizzy star who dropped her bag at a bash to reveal ecstasy, LSD and "enough coke to blow your head off?" She's blind to the fact that one day she'll get busted.
Paris Hilton

Recently the LAPD conducted yet another dramatic sweep of public restrooms on the west side where gays congregate. Were THEY surprised when their raid nabbed a very famous actor in the wrong place at the wrong time! Some cops were dumbfounded because many of them are fans of this seemingly sraight-arrow guy and he has always supported police work. The cops were almost as embarrassed as HE was. The actor's PR people worked their magic with the police department and the incident was forgotten - until NEXT time.
John Travolta

--WHICH rapper who's unco-operative with cops is also uncooperative with cocktail waitresses? He doesn't like to tip.
Busta Rhymes

--WHICH female head of a cosmetics company used to be a man? Company employees watched the executive as, "first he wore more feminine suits, then switched to full-on dresses and then got the ultimate cut," said our spy. Andrea Jung of Avon

--WHICH married artist should tell his girlfriend to tone it down? The socialite has been shopping all over town, ringing up huge bills on his credit card and telling everyone about their affair.

--Could it be that an anonymous attendee at the Emmys had a juicy story to share with me? Seems that after last year's Emmys, he met that oft-mentioned reality stud at an after-party. Drinks were drunk. Compliments were swapped. Then bing, bang, boom, the anonymous attendee got mounted by said stud in the bathroom (the boy did complain that the star wasn't particularly large and had some difficulty getting hard)! He couldn't believe I wasn't shocked. The only thing shocking about this tory is that the amazing dude was the top!
Reichen Lehmkuhl of "The Amazing Race"

--Could it be that I had a close encounter with the subject of one of my most notorious blind items? I certainly caught him off guard with my particulary chipper greeting, and he certainly had on significantly more clothing than in those scandalous photos (and yet less than some felt appropriate). He stopped, chatted for as brief a time as he dare, and then nervously made his exit - as if being exiled. Jeff Probst

The Fearless Flamer and the Locker Room Staredown: Gossip, conjecture, rumour - my lawyer would want me to remind you of those 3 beautiful words when considering the report below. And fair enough, certain celebrities are a lot more vicious than others, especially when protecting their inside gay… you know what I mean? Again… gossip, rumour, conjecture…bullsh*t… blah blah blah! And in the interest of protecting those who can be harmed by the Fearless Flamer, and since I am nothing if not a cowardly little bitch, let's use superfun, supereasy code names. Trust me, don't even bother emailing me afterwards. YOU KNOW the answer… I promise. The scene: Toronto. An elite celebrity, an internationally recognised married celebrity, a BIG BIG name is in town shooting a movie. We'll call him the Flying Star. The Flying Star spends time relaxing and working out - so to speak - at an exclusive, private health club that offers members access to a full range of amenities, good enough for the rich, good enough for the famous. Two incidents… The first: another club member, a very goodlooking man I've named Daniel, finishes his work out, showers, puts a towel around his waist, heads back to the locker room, and notices a portly man staring at him. It is, of course, the Flying Star. Daniel is a nice fellow so he obliges the Flying Star in some idle chitchat, becoming increasingly uncomfortable under the heavy weight of the Flying Star's heavy-lidded gaze, an appreciative gaze, as the conversation progresses, even though Danny is not one to read to the National Enquirer, or any of the blogs, least of all mine, meaning he had no advance knowledge of the Flying Star's legendary leanings. And yet he knew that the Flying Star was 'going there' but did his best to ignore his gaydar… until the question came… Flying Star: Do you like to sauna? Daniel: errr… ahem… yeah… sure… Flying Star: Wanna go to the sauna with me? And this was not a football sauna invitation - like cracking knuckles and drinking beer and picking your nose…it was the kind of invitation George Michael would accept - you know what I mean? Now being a straight man, Daniel was obviously scared sh*tless. However, since he was raised with class and good manners, Daniel graciously declined and hightailed it outta there because as my husband says - 'being polite is one thing but I don't have to get naked to be polite.' Words to live by, non? Anyway, that's a pretty innocent encounter when you take it on its own…but when you consider that there have been multiple occurrences in the same club, you begin to wonder if the Flying Star is running a little short on Martian Medication, great for making babies and suppressing gays. The second incident is as follows: Still at the club - our victim is a well toned male massage therapist I'll call Antony. Antony knew that he'd be assigned to the Flying Star - and who hasn't heard of the Flying Star??? As such, he was thrilled, couldn't wait…poor sod didn't know what was coming. The day of the appointment arrives, Antony asks the Flying Star which body parts to focus on (a common question during massage therapy, nothing smutty there), and the Flying Star replied that he was doing a lot of dancing in his new movie and needed a full body, including 'glutes, stomach, and groin'. So far so good. Antony begins to work, makes small talk, talks about his job, his aspirations, turns out his dream job is actually a fiery role the Flying Star took on not too long ago. Everything's all good, progressing normally, and then the Flying Star starts chatting about himself…said he'd been married for more than 10, less than 20 years, and of course Antony (being a man with traditional values etc) is very, very moved, and tells him so, for a Hollywood player to remain committed for so long in this day and age, he's even more impressed than ever before. Then the Flying Star's face took on a 'weird' expression…his eyes didn't move from Antony's face. At this point, he asked Antony to massage his stomach and Antony obliged. But then the sheet 'slipped' off, and since the Flying Star was not wearing underwear, Antony was treated to the Flying Star's standing excitement, and Antony quickly pulled the sheet back up, and all the while, the Flying Star kept smiling, kept staring. Next thing you know, the sheet 'slipped' again…Antony's starting to freak out at this point, sweating, uneasy - he pulls the sheet back up again, to no avail because wouldn't you know it, the sheet 'slipped' again …for the third time!!!, And so Antony did what any straight, harassed man, powerless and faced with a million dollar c*ck would do… he made up a girlfriend and started yammerin' on about her incessantly, but the Flying Star would not be deterred. He next wanted to know what part of the body Antony preferred to massage and a flustered Antony quickly replied - The Back! Thank Goddess the hour was up, Antony beat a hasty retreat, and went off to the locker room to regain his composure. He took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waste, and proceeded to the sink, foamed his face, and began to shave. Unfortunately, the Flying Star seemed to materialise out of a disco ball and ambushed our poor Antony. He complimented Antony on his beautiful physique, he admired Antony's 'cute'ness, he lamented his own loneliness in Toronto, and all the while, Antony can't shave fast enough, nicking himself several times in the process, finally extracting himself from the Flying Star's lechery, resorting to changing in the bathroom stall to escape any more advances. Oh…and one more thing…the Flying Star didn't leave a tip. Seriously…what is this dude's thing with massage therapy? And why on earth is he getting so bold???
John Travolta

Acclaimed Actor Blows His Lines: Which young actor gives a true Method performance in a recent film? The star, who has a reputation for devoting himself to roles with scary intensity, got into character with the help of regular cocaine infusions, according to a source on the set. In several cases, he was actually high on-camera for scenes in which he was supposed to be strung out. The directors, far from getting concerned over the actor's habits, encouraged them—whether to keep him happy or to enhance the "authenticity" of his performance, the source couldn't say. Joaquin Phoenix in 'Walk the Line'

10. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/06
WHICH ex-band-mates put on a good show for the cameras at a recent bash but hate each other really? As soon as one of the girls walked off, the other hissed: "She stood on my dress again."

11. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/07
WHICH pin-up returned from a toilet trip totally wired? The brazen babe spent much of the evening in the loos - and we doubt it was down to a dodgy tummy.

12. POPBITCH 09/08
--Which trendy novelist's last two books are rumoured to have been ghost-written?
Dan Brown ghost writer, his wife

--Married with children and a high-flying Hollywood career, this A-lister was known at his New York performing school as "Two Tricks", and was famous for on one occasion, for giving blow jobs to eight men consecutively in a closet. John Travolta

One Reserved-Parking Blind Vice: Another Hollywood bustup. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Excuse me if I'm not exactly cryin' into my hanky. In this town, where relationships last about as long as lunchtime Botox sessions, peeps who manage to stay together are the real newsworthy ones, don't you all think? Anyhow, I never really thought Pete Poked and Charmaine Chuck-Up were such hot 'n' heavy lovebirds in the first place. I mean, you can't place your Prius in a spot that's already taken, can you? 'Course not! Kinda like how Char-love couldn't possibly be the stylish ride of choice for Petey's daredevil desires, 'cause he's already had a serious shotgun boyfriend for quite sometime. Yes, that's right: Just like Toothy and so many of the friggin' rest of 'em, P2 likes the boys, not the girls--no matter how thin or pretty or pouty they may be. I'm told this par-tick tight boyish twosome enjoys sportin' weekend jaunts to the mountains, where they can hit the slopes and canoodle by candlelight far, far away from those pesky papa-Nazis. Wonder if Charmaine recently found out about these little snowy va-cays and went berserk, hence their recent bustup? Or maybe she knew about them all along and is just dumping him now that her face has become so gaunt, she can't even fake the fake no more? Note to snitty types: Eat! Or your emoting capabilities nosedive, as it were. IT'S NOT: Jessica Simpson/John Mayer; Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn; Tori Spelling/Dean McDermott
Orlando Bloom/Kate Bosworth

Which music star - who might be mentioned on this page - used to tip bemused hookers with a copy of his latest CD?

Which superstar classical music soloist has a sex addiction that keeps audiences waiting while he gets his fixes backstage?

16. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/10
WHICH actress-turned-singer absolutely honks of sweat according to a guest at a recent party? At the bash other revellers were edging away from the lady in question because her pits smelled so bad. Juliette Lewis

17. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/11
WHICH singer is pill-popping again, despite saying he's changed his ways? The gurning star in question reckons he's given up ecstasy, but it didn't look that way during a recent night out in Ibiza.
Robbie Williams

Better watch which celebs you accept a drink from.Imitation of Christ designer Tara Subkoff was overheard complaining at the company's Pink Elephant after-party that a certain Hollywood Oscar winner recently drugged her cocktail. "At a party last week, [the famous actor] put a roofie in my drink," she said. "From now on, I get my own drinks." Since the actor in question — ahem — isn't exactly a ladies' man, can we presume she was joking?

This actor enjoys playing wise cracking heroes and cops and his characters are usually quick on the draw. Maybe that affinity for guns has carried over into his private life. The guy was dining alone at the fancy Belvedere restaurant in the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills. Out of the blue he turned to the waiter and said evenly "I need a gun." The waiter gulped and the actor continued "Do you carry a gun? I need to borrow it right now!" The actor seemed agitated and the frightened waiter told him he didn't have a gun. The server reported the conversation to the manager and the manager hastened to calm the actor down. The meal ended without incident, but the servers are still talking about the strange encounter.
Mickey Rourke

20. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/13
WHICH beleaguered singer has had a lavish album launch party cancelled by his label after a run of bad press? The powers that be have decided there isn't much to celebrate at the moment.
George Michael

21. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/14
WHICH US actor, fond of Brit babes, uses dubious methods to pull his girls? The reckless star walks into clubs and asks the girls, "which one is going to f*** me?" That shouldn't be allowed.

22. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/15
WHICH American star is so desperate to hang on to her youth she's just had her second face-lift in three years? She's told pals it's because she can't face the prospect of high-definition television.
Teri Hatcher; Nicolette Sheridan; Katie Couric

One Porn-Addicted Blind Vice: There's an A-list star. Said luminary is addicted to smut. Oh, aren't we all? Well, yes and no. I mean, I like the nekkid boys 'n' girls on the Internet as much as the next voyeur (man, did I have to turn the volume down on that last Colin Farrell skin flick I clicked into, boy sure knows how to make 'em scream!), but let's face it: The real McCoy copulation beats the kind you watch any day of the horny week. Right? Wrong, says Mona Streamline, who, like, lives to watch X-rated raunch on her fancy-schmancy computers, wherever she happens to be traveling. And since M.S. is majorly in demand, movies-wise, as of late, that be a whole lotta looky-loo lovin' the girl's been up to recently! Now, like a lotta addicts--me, I'm recovering from the booze, dope and ciggies, one day at a time--things weren't always like this for Ms.S., who's married to a fine guy. In fact, the couple both looked at sex stuff on the VCR long before the Internet made such naughty activities so commonplace. But then M.S. found herself in myriad trailers and hotel rooms round the world, so she began packing those little VHS cassettes for her own use. Makes sense, I 'spose. Just not to the extent where Ms. S.eventually found that she preferred the prerecorded thang (certainly once the online opportunity blew up right smack into her slightly surgeried face), as opposed to the genuine salami Mona swapped vows with all those years ago. Now, the old hitched couple is in counseling to see if there's anything that can possibly be done to return Streamline to her original, real-life lovemaking ways. So sad. Hey, isn't this usually a dude prob, though? Rad, man! IT'S NOT: Rene Russo; Jada Pinkett Smith; Goldie Hawn
Meryl Streep

Grizzly, Grumpy, and High: All one person. Not that doing drugs is any kind of shocker but a supposed family man? A serious actor? Settled down and severe? Apparently what happens in Toronto stays in Toronto. So as I’m sure you know, celebrities don’t procure their own happy substances. That’s what wranglers are for. Go-to-guys and girls assigned to the task of purchasing the poison and getting it into the hands of the stars who want it. Popular local hot spot, A list actor is itching for some action. His runner is dispatched on the errand and comes back with more than enough to satisfy a five member rock band. But on this night, only one knight is the user, and according to my source – lock tight at that – he did so much blow it’s a wonder he hasn’t died from a heart attack. Which explains the Jekyll & Hyde behaviour. Super accommodating one day, sullen and snarky the next. Method acting perhaps… but still, if I were the woman in his life, I’d probably keep a closer eye.
Heath Ledger

25. HOLY MOLY 09/15
Which British used-to-be-big singer, on his recent European tour, insisted on three "high-class" hookers on his rider every single night. This proved to be a nightmare for his poor Tour Manager, who exacted revenge... Unbeknownst to the singer and his Kestrel, when he went through his vocal warm-ups each night in his dressing room, they turned his headset mic on so all the crew could hear him. In true Gareth Cheesman style, he honked out "I AM THE SAVIOUR OF BRITISH R&B" in scales, over and over again. Seems the only thing he was born to do was be a twat.
Craig David

26. POPBITCH 09/15
At the recent MTV video music awards, things didn't go so well backstage. One female stage manager was beaten up by the entourage of a very famous hip-hop star, just because she tried to get him on to the stage at the right time. And an MTV producer was overheard complaining that "we've lost control of the backstage area due to all the guns being sneaked in!" Bodes well for next year.

27. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/16
TWO prominent Hollywood stars are running a lucrative business selling intimate knick-knacks pilfered from the royal households. I'm told:"One lives in Hollywood and sells Prince Charles's cast-offs to feverish Anglophiles, and the other lives in Europe and deals the Queen's bath towels and pillowcases (complete with stray hairs) to Eurotrash wannabes." Strange but true!

28. NY POST/PAGE SIX 09/16
--WHICH former butler should stop writing about past employers and start chronicling his own adventures? A New York gay blade is telling friends he had a hotel-room tryst with the married father two years ago.
Princess Di's butler, Paul Burrell

--WHICH famous tycoon's ex-wife keeps getting "exhausted"? Every few months, she checks into the Passages of Malibu rehab center for a "rest." Marla Maples

--WHICH new girlfriend of a recently divorced sports star was overheard complaining that her giant of an athlete was far from gigantic below the waist? But she thinks that all the press about their romance will really jump-start her "music" career. R&B singer Stefani Vara and New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan

This black female celebrity has a drug history that she has briefly spoken about but she seemed to conquer her demons because she worked in a few back to back projects. Sadly, she is back on drugs, this time, it's heroin. She and her boyfriend, who was also famous briefly (and who is a part of a musical family) are crack house regulars. He smokes crack, while she shoots up. She got introduced to heroin through her boyfriend's brother (also well known and famous) who also shoots up. Instead of going to auditions, her whole day is spent, getting enough money together by begging, borrowing or stealing to cop heroin and crack. A great opportunity came her way but she showed up under the influence of heroin and vicodin. She was so high, she was nodding off as chills raked her body and track marks covered her left arm. She was asked to leave and not to return. This gig would have paid her six figures a month. This once attractive woman was arrested (a few months ago) with her boyfriend briefly when a crack house was raided but she was released shortly afterwards. It was a bit more complicated for the boyfriend because it may have been a violation. This didn't make the news because white cops were the arresting officers and the couple were unrecognizable due to drug use and they "aren't big name stars" outside the black community. Don't be surprised if this woman starts turning tricks for drug money because she is seriously "chasing the dragon."
Nona Gaye and Chico DeBarge of the DeBarge family (She was supposed to be on Law and Order and was fired because of drugs. She's spoken briefly about drug problems in the past. He has spent time in jail in the past.)

A charter airline pilot told us that he had to kick a very famous blonde celebrity off his plane leaving for New York last month. He said "The flight hadn't even taken off and she started smoking something with a distinct metallic chemical odor. Someone later told me it must have been crack. We warned her to extinguish the cigarette - any kind of smoking is forbidden, She stalled, saying "Just chill - I'm almost done. " She WOULDN'T stop smoking! We were furious with her and forced her to get off the plane. Her luggage was dumped on the tarmac beside her. Her publicist got off also and was unfazed - he just flipped his phone and started making other arrangements."
Paris Hilton & her publicist Elliot Mintz

31. NY POST/PAGE SIX 09/18
-WHICH young actress is jealous of a leading lady of the same tender age who is getting better parts? (They also both had sex with Jared Leto.) While visiting a friend's house, the jealous actress spotted a DVD of a movie starring her rival, ripped open the box, threw the disk on the floor and stomped on it.

Young actress: Lindsay Lohan
leading lady: Scarlett Johansson

--WHICH two young male movie stars are making enemies because of the way they play poker? There's no proof yet, but other players at their high-stakes games - where wins, or losses, can reach six figures - have noticed the two seem to be working together, using subtle signals to team up on opponents.

Could it be that a certain feisty funny gal is fonda the ladies? So say folks who saw the fiery filly (who is once again employed) vacationing with a number of single senoritas of the Sapphic persuasion. She wasn't shy about her interest in the gaggle of gals, and she definitely expressed her ire when she found out two of the harem were flirting with each other (not nice when someone else is footing the bill). I'm told that the colorful crack-up has the same taste in ladies as she does in wine - white! Wanda Sykes

33. PEREZ HILTON 09/20
What pop star that recently gave birth is in pain apparently after having a mini tummy tuck after her c-section? Sources tell she could only have a quarter of an inch taken in because of the danger of having an actual tummy tuck, but she is still in tremendous pain. The new mom is hoping to recover fast and get her bod back in shape ASAP. She is popping Vicodin right and left, smoking and drinking wine when she is awake. Britney Spears

34. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/20
WHICH aging Brit diva is so vain she refuses to wear glasses even though she needs them? She left one poor flunky stumbling around bumping into things when she borrowed the woman's specs to read a book.

35. POPBITCH 09/21
This singer has been fighting a predilection for extreme drug use. Its a battle he's currently, secretly, losing. Some time ago, when he was touring Europe, the tour manager briefed local staff at each venue not to give him any drugs. The singer befriended a local in Amsterdam and kept pressing him to get cocaine. The star promised VIP gig tickets to the man, his wife and children so eventually he agreed brought a couple of grams. Next day, the man went to the star's dressing room to pick up the tickets but instead found the singer and manager, with the singer pointing his finger, shouting "that's the one, he supplied me!" Fired on the spot, the man's children never did get to see the show.

36. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/22
WHICH model offered to make her teenage conquest breakfast - then presented him with two huge lines of cocaine and a vodka?

Traceless Turncoat is either getting sloppy or impressively gutsy, maybe a bit of both--as is often the case with very popular career gals 'n' guys. T2, 'course, helps host a fairly popular TV offering. She has other correspondents who help her with her bubbly duties, but there's one talking head in particular who helps T.T. share and hone her hosting requirements in front of the camera. Let's say this quasi-attractive head is, oh, Dorky Dingleberry--name's not really important. The vital thing to understand here is how much Trace-babe despises D.D. See, Traceless abhors the PR D. receives (on a not so regular basis, so you really can see how outta control Ms. T. happens to be), and she feels the producers of her little boob-tube offering pay way too much time to the D.D.-ster. So, remember when I told you in our last Turncoat installment about how the TelePrompTer princess was peddling items on her myriad guests to gossip columns? Sometimes for cash? Well, now Traceless is really upping the ante: She's including tacky little tidbits about her almost homely nemesis/colleague in the wares she offers. Damn, bitch, you somethin'! It's NOT:  Diane Sawyer, Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper


38. 3 A.M. GIRLS 09/23
WHICH fashionista's daughter is seeking treatment for anorexia. She's told pals her mother's barbed comments about her weight drove her to stop eating.
Allegra - Donatella Versace's daughter

Which loudmouth Los Angeleno has face-planted off the back of the wagon? "His parents are furious," says a snitch. "The rehab cost them $80,000."
Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis

A very handsome black celebrity male singer has a secret.  He likes transvestites (drag queens).  He's hooked up with a very tall and slender man who resembles a male model. In drag, he resembles a pretty brunette and it's hard to tell he's man because his features are soft, he is convincing in both roles.  He can pose as a "male friend" one day, or the attentive girlfriend the next day.  Only a few people in the inner-circle know the real deal. 

You don't have to be a gospel fan to know who this man is. This famous gospel singer calls homosexuality a sin behind closed doors yet he was in a hushed up scandal involving an underage boy. The information leaked out briefly and then the story mysteriously disappeared. Rumor has it, the boy was paid off and instructed not to go public with the very ugly allegations. This singer continues to use women as "beards" while he's scoping out men on the sly. His favorite hunting ground is his the gospel workshops across the country (where he sometimes make special appearances). He tries to impress impressionable young men with his fame and money.
Donnie McClurkin

This black female celebrity is "too many people." By day, she has given motivational and inspirational speeches to young black girls regarding self esteem, black empowerment and unity yet she is a lesbian who preys on white women. I once witnessed her in action. I was on vacation in the Caribbean, locals were buzzing about a celebrity hanging out at a particular beach. When we arrived at the beach, there she was, her blonde lover was lovingly rubbing her back with sun screen, afterwards, they kissed on the lips. Our call girl sources inform us, she is a repeat customer at escort agencies across the country and she always requests "blondes only." This woman keeps the sex industry thriving. Despite her black empowerment and unity rhetoric during daytime hours, it's interesting that she once gave a few white girlfriends money to invest in businesses yet she is always talking about 'blacks don't invest enough in their own businesses' while she continues to finance white women with businesses, cars, allowances and bling. Black strippers have informed us, "this black militant by day" shuns them in favor of white girls. She doesn't even acknowledge their presence but she is known to stuff wads of $100 dollar bills into the g-strings of blonde strippers. Some exotic dancers rely on her generosity to pay their bills, they become ecstatic when they find out she's going to be arriving at the club. When she arrives, they surround her. We reported last year that this same woman belonged to a "underground lesbian clique of famous black women" but dropped out when they refused to integrate the clique. She is also a regular in the VIP section of gentlemen's clubs where she receives lap dances.
Sista Souljah; Queen Latifah

43. NY DAILY NEWS 09/24
Which two female finalists on a recently concluded network reality show were both hooking up with the program's (female) publicist?

Could it be that a certain socialite is in hot water? So say folks at Disney, who tell us that the mischievous minx misbehaved during a VIP visit to The Happiest Place on Earth (West Coast Version). According to cast members, the accommodating 'actress' lit up a doobie and refused to put it out. The bigwigs decided to teach a lesson to the blue-eyed babe (who, incidentally, isn't really blue-eyed). As the Anaheim police sirens drew near, the poseur put the pot in a most ingenious hiding place. If only it weren't a view we're all so familiar with.
Paris Hilton

This on and off couple finds it hard to call it quits because they have a lot in common. They both LOVE being famous and enjoy having photographers document their activities. Since they both have a history of substance abuse, they TRY to stay away from temptation. But the most important factor that has kept them together is SEX and plenty of it. They both have herpes so they can freely indulge in unprotected sex with each other with no repercussions. When they go out with OTHER people, they have to be careful!
Jude Law/Sienna Miller

46. PEREZ HILTON 09/26
What drama queen planted a recent item in Page Six??? Sources tell that the fiery star is embarrassed that her boyfriend dumped her and had her camp place the blurb. Additionally, the hot Greek shipping heir who she's most recently been linked to think she's "pathetic and press hungry," sources tell us.

fiery star: Lindsay Lohan
boyfriend: Harry Morton
Greek shipping heir: Stavros Niarchos

What married anchor is said to be checking the briefs of his network's legal correspondent?

48. POPBITCH 09/28
A top celebrity publicist has claimed that which famous marriage break-up was caused by the wife sleeping with her husband's brother?

UCLA's private cops thought they'd seen everything until they encountered this respected actor on campus. At first they were thrilled when they happened upon the tall, handsome guy who has played a cop on TV and many movies. They all wanted to shake his hand. But eventually they compared notes and realized he had a nasty habit of lurking in the mens rooms. After observing his suspicious behavior they had no choice but to warn the actor they had so admired, to GET OFF CAMPUS and don't come back.

50. PEREZ HILTON 10/01
What prone to be shirtless actor has been wearing a lot of bandanas lately to cover up the fact that he's had some hair plugs put in? And, this is not the sweaty star's first time getting transplants! Wonder what his Amigos think about this? Matthew McConaughey

51. NY POST/PAGE SIX 10/02....
--WHICH recently rehabbed celebrity is back on the sauce? The guy just can't stay away from the booze - or the women, much to his wife's distress.
 Mel Gibson

--WHICH former supermodel is still gorgeous thanks to the wonders of plastic surgery? Not only is she a Botox addict, but insiders are marveling at what a great boob job she got this summer. Christy Brinkley; Cindy Crawford

There's no denying that Dorrell Sausage is hot 'n' hunky. His semi-famous name and chiseled mug have been increasingly featured in the rags lately, thanks to a string of high-profile romances. And this ain't by accident, damn straight. D.S. went from dating a cute, fairly well known chica to supposedly seeing Pixie Mixie, tabloid darling. See, the D-man wants to be (more) famous himself, imagine that in this me-me-me enclave! And after a halfhearted stab at the spotlight on his own not so long ago (prior to Pixie time), it seems Mr. Sausage--a somewhat cognizant realist with thin lips, thicker things elsewhere--realized it's way easier to get press when you're attached to an It creature. Indeed, Dorrell's latest cutie-coupling has gotten tab headlines, fer sure. "It's getting serious!" all the rags proclaim, alongside pics of the two honeys holding hands and swappin' spit. Howevah, just reminds me of one of those Teri Hatcher spreads--all pose, no meat to go with the paparazzi potatoes. See, Dorrell has been sober for a while, even though he "used to drink entire bottles of tequila," said one of D.S.'s ol' imbibing buds. Nevertheless, Mr. Sausage has since cleaned up his act and is now busy denouncing drugs and hard partying. More unhungover intrigue: Pixie is D.S.'s sober sponsor, which explains why they're spending so much time together. "They're really just friends," according to my chemical-free source. But this tricky twosome so knows that playing coy with the press and letting themselves be linked equals double the headlines and even more media attention. Seems good old-fashioned fame is the real drug of choice for both of them these days! Oh, and if you need the usual fornicating-where-one-shouldn't-be stuff (as if last Friday's mailbag from adventurous and horny readers wasn't enough), then let me leave ya with this gross thought: Bitchy Snitchy, no stranger to these mut-tarred pages, is not only unapologetically stepping out on his spouse (not his first, either), he's stepping out on his stepping-outtee! The Viagra-powered nerve. Not half as nervy as the fact that all of the female steps, as they might be, work for B.S. Turd.
And it's NOT:  Wentworth Miller/Tom Hanks; Aaron Carter/Will Smith; Nick Carter/Mel Gibson

Dorrell Sausage: Brodie Jenner
Pixie Mixie: Nicole Ritchie
Bitchy Snitchy:

Matching cheekbones, matching blow: It's their love connection - why does it always come back to drugs? She much more famous than he, yet equal in consumption, they're now taking their partying public, not afraid to lock themselves into a stall and shovel away, only to reemerge moments later rednosed and raring to go. The problem now is that he's being accused of being a bad influence when it's more like the other way around: she needs it, he needs her, he went along for the ride, and now he needs it even more. Which is why his friends, his family, his reps…they're urging HIM to make the break before life imitates art, and since she's put him on the map now, it probably wouldn't be a bad thing professionally to make the cut, if only he would listen. But he adores her. And she adores *it*. And they adore doing it together… A LOT.
Not Heath & Michelle, not Keith & Nicole, not Pete & Kate Keira Knightley/Rupert Friend

Could it be that I had an encounter with several male "Idol" contestants? I planned on sharing this anecdote that would have not only "outed" these boys, but left my readers wondering if any heterosexual male has EVER tried out for "American Idol." But since these former finalists allegedly plan to come out on their own, I won't bother. One of them asked me to prepare questions about his sexuality. I suggested that he prepare for a more likely question: "And who exactly are you?"

55. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/04
WHICH troubled celeb paid a visit to a Central London park for a bit of nocturnal slap and tickle just two weeks ago? The chap in question needs to be more careful about where he hangs out.
George Michael

56. POPBITCH 10/05
You can't keep an old rocker down. This heavy metaller has a long and deserved reputation for liking his ladies rather young. Age hasn't changed his behaviour. The rock star has been shagging his god-daughter.

57. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/05
WHICH pint-sized singer's manhood is in keeping with his stature? The guy in question goes green with envy when he sees other better endowed men in changing rooms.
Jamie Cullum

Morgan Mayhem, consider yourself warned! Gal-friend, those unpredictable ways have gotten you into trouble in myriad areas of your life, but now it seems your social-butterfly status is in serious jeopardy, too. Hid-eee-us, I know. See, there's this über-exclusive boîte of fabulousness here in Tinseltown that certain celebs consider their personal playground. The door at said joint is tighter than Nicole Kidman's forehead and has turned away highly celebrated, professional partiers without batting a stoic eye. But not Morg, of course. She's nevah had a problem getting into exclusive places. Also, there's always packs of paps following Morg who are bound to snap her leaving such swanky locales. So, owners are usually happy to have M2 hangin' out. But the owner of the former spot ain't so thrilled anymore. First off, he's already received wrist slaps and warnings from police for allowing other questionable antics to go down, as it were, at his establishment (which really should look a bit more fab considering the loot this guy poured into it). And secondly, Morg's not just hittin' the snowy slopes anymore. She's got a newer, dirtier drug of choice. And it's becoming painfully obvious. "She's behaving like a monster," says one of my super-inside (and relatively sober) sources. Not only does M.M. pick fights with other patrons, sashay out of stalls with her sniffer covered in powder and even pass out in them, now she's takin' to doin' the girl-on-girl thang not so discreetly in these dark hangs! Love the last sin, which, natch, ain't, but I'll just go along with my republican detractors for a sec and pretend like is it, 'kay? Oh, girl, for gawd's sake, get it together! Your career, sex appeal and hetero status (big whoop!) are going down the toilet as we type. IT’S NOT: Queen Latifah; Gina Gershon; Hilary Swank
Lindsay Lohan/meth

59. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/06
WHICH well-known British actress was being called "the cocaine fairy" at an awards show this week after her non-stop trips to the loos.

60. HOLY MOLY 10/06
Which British actor (and former husband of a Hollywood A-lister) was a regular at Torture Garden in London a few years ago and would show up in full S&M gear? Nothing wrong with that, he's an adult etc. Except on one occasion he spent most of the night being fellated by a series of women right in the middle of the dance floor.
Jonny Lee Miller/Angelina Jolie; Gary Oldman/Uma Thurman

This hunkalicious dark haired actor had a long running hit sitcom a few years back and he's been highly visible on TV ever since. Men envy his looks and women are dying to get their hands on him. Wouldn't his fans be surprised to learn that their heartthrob often shows up at those pool parties that the "gay mafia" hosts at fancy hillside homes! Wealthy Hollywood gay men throw these bashes to meet young cute guys - often frolicking without their clothes on. Our actor has made it known that he prefers "smooth, blonde, blue- eyed young men." And this actor has no qualms about socializing au natural - he's proud of his body!
Tony Danza; John Stamos; Julian Mcmahon

Which recently slimmed-down mogul drew stares when he opened and ate, with his fingers, a mayonnaise packet while waiting in line at a Manhattan Starbucks?
Harvey Weinstein

Which heir-head amused fellow travelers on a recent flight by wolfing down an airport-bought McDonald's Quarter-Pounder, bringing it back up five minutes later in the rest room, and spending the rest of the trip looking at pictures of herself in the celebrity magazines? Paris Hilton

A groom with a rumoured roving eye and perhaps an requited heart? Well... disrespecting your elders is one thing but disrespecting your vows may be another entirely. It's that age old debate, you know? What is emotional cheating anyway? Is it considered emotional cheating when you can't throw away the bed you used to share with the love of your life - the one you DIDN'T marry? Is it emotional cheating when you keep a custom made 4 poster extra King locked in storage and cannot bear to give it away? Is it emotional cheating to hang on such things but sleep next to another? Is it emotional cheating to go on a rip roaring rage upon discovering that the ex has moved on? With marriage prospects of her own? To fall into a funk, despite the carefully choreographed photo opps of the warring women in your life? Just asking... And it's NOT Brad Pitt.
Keith Urban/Nikki Taylor

65. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/12
WHICH scrawny star shocked onlookers by openly snorting cocaine from a toilet seat in a London bar - and then went back to the loos every 10 minutes?
Kiera Knightly

I once heard this black female singer on the radio being interviewed, during the interview, she mentioned, how she bonded with other black women and how she supported sisterhood and how black women should respect themselves and each other. What a phony. Her former personal assistant recently contacted me and relayed the following. This singer is manipulative and tries to use her celebrity status to steal her friend's boyfriends and she usually sleeps with men on the first date and she became involved in a sexual triangle. A male and female singer were involved, the public was never informed why they broke up, they broke up because the other female singer caught "our female singer" in bed with her man. So much for sisterhood and bonding. She also has a taste for drugs and is a functional addict. When her royalty checks come through, her drug dealer feels like he hit the lotto. He used some of the proceeds to put a down payment on a condo. She even offered her former assistant double pay if she would go and pick up her drugs on occasion. The assistant did it once because of the money, she was so nervous, paranoid and terrified, she vowed never to go back. She would quit after she found a better gig. Hints: The singer is NOT Whitney Houston or Macy Gray and she's in the same musical genre as the "former singing couple" (triangle) she came between.

At her peak, this black female singer had it all. A lucrative career, fame, platinum albums and awards. What few people know, between scandal and marriages, she was involved with a few mob related guys in Las Vegas and they took very good care of her. It's been rumored, between concert tours and on going drama, she resided in a luxurious Las Vegas suite, paid for by one of her "goodfellas." Despite her many pitfalls, she has never had money problems because her "wiseguys" advice her on investments. It's a good reason they look after her, when you figure that out, you will know her identity.
Diana Ross; Gladys Knight; Diahann Carroll

She's at it again. This non-black female is married to a black sports superstar. A few years ago, she wanted her non-black friends to experience a rich and glamorous lifestyle, similar to hers.She decided to set them up on dates with her husband's teammates,single and married - with a stipulation (only if the married ones were married to black women) because she has a total disregard and disrespect for black women. Needless to say, she was shut-down, early on, by a black woman. Now, we are receiving word, she is back at it, discreetly. She is determined to marry her friends off to rich sports figures or have them become mistresses at the right price. The irony of this situation, her husband is currently having an affair with a beautiful African-American woman.

This black actress is average looking (but not bad looking) by Hollywood standards and she was determined to make it. When she arrived in Hollywood, she was humble and approachable. When she got the part on a weekly series, she became arrogant and aloof overnight. She became so big headed, she mistakenly thought, since she now has "a name" she could get her publicist to call around and arrange dates with desirable black actors and athletes. Her ego was shattered when these men refused to go out with her. To pacify her feelings, she began having one night stands, no strings attached, with pretty boy actors or male models. Her self-esteem is so low, just the thought of sharing a bed with a famous good looking man is complete fulfillment. In her mind, "this really is making it." Hint: This actress is currently on a television series that is very popular in the black community.

The downlow syndrome is rapid in the music industry, including the hip-hop genre. This famous rapper loves to verbally abuse and degrade gays. He often refers to them as queers, sissys and queens. He says homosexuals are "unnatural sinners" who are going to hell! His sentiments seem to change behind closed doors. Our source in Monte Carlo informed us, last year, the rapper hired two very good looking male escorts to service him while he was on holiday. When he was recently in Monte Carlo, his credit card declined prior to the male escort arriving and the date was cancelled by the agency. This same rapper tries to keep up with the hip-hop elite by taking out huge (five to six figure) record company advances. He's always in St. Tropez, Star Island and Monaco despite being broke. He's also known to be abusive towards women.

This black male celebrity was a member of popular singing group and is extremely well known in black communities. Rewind: Last year we reported, due to drugs, he was so broke and desperate, someone closely resembling him was seen panhandling in Los Angeles. Prior to that, he had sold his fleet of luxury automobiles due to drug debts. He once got roughed up badly by a drug dealer due to his mounting drug bills. He looked like a shell of himself and some of his teeth were rotted. Fast Forward: A former girlfriend contacted us. She was happy that he was trying to clean up and get his life in order. He even signed on for an entertainment related project. Sadly, after he got paid, he disappeared and went on a crack binge. During the next few days, the pipe stayed glued to his lips. When the girlfriend confronted him about his drug use, he tried to convince her, his indulgence was minimum. She would later find out, not only was he smoking crack but he was snorting cocaine and during meth. Once when they were having sex, his nose started bleeding profusely. Another time, he stopped in the middle of sex and went into the bathroom, she overheard snorting sounds. The drugs would eventually make him 'sexually dysfunctional." Before they broke up, she said he was having heart palpations and he had run out of money once again. One of his friends told her, "you doing the right thing by leaving, that fool is so desperate for drug money, he's seriously thinking about pimping himself out to rich women at a escort agency and he thinks they'll pay top dollar because of his name status, only thing stopping him, he can't get aroused because of all the drugs."
pras from the fugees

72. NY POST/PAGE SIX 10/13
WHICH wholesome Oscar-winning mom had too much to drink at a concert in Las Vegas? The actress held herself back in an elevator at the Four Seasons Hotel, but as soon as the doors opened, she spewed in the hallway, screened behind a phalanx of her friends and her bodyguard.
Reese Witherspoon

This famous talk show host doesn't SEEM like a player, but there's more to him than meets the eye. He appears to be a happily married man, but he does an inordinate amount of jewelry shopping at Barneys New York. And it's not all for his wife. He treats his wife to pricey gifts on special occasions, but even more frequently picks up expensive trinkets for a younger relative of his wife. The younger girl doesn't hesitate to return the jewelry for store credit - she'd rather pick out some designer clothes. Sometimes she even uses the talk show host's credit card. His wife would be SHOCKED to learn how much money he's secretly lavishing on this pretty young member of her own family!

74. PEREZ HILTON 10/14
What female DJ that's pals with all the young Hollywood starlets is a backstabbing fucktard? Word on the street is that she is just as skinny - if not skinnier - than her friends through some shady means.
Samantha Ronson; Sandra Collins

Which rising R&B star is worrying his label with his habit of inviting handsome young men back to his hotel room after enjoying a few drinks, as he did at PM last week?
John Legend

Which two household-name actors both bedded students from the same university during the Southern premiere of their disappointing new movie?
The movie "All the King's Men"

‘Kay, it’s the first one outta the redesign bag, so for that celebratory reason, I’ll give ya a fairly easy one--like I’ve haven’t done that with you folks already, as of late. But whatev. Pussy Gabor is known for his cut-rate artistic talents, as well as his hefty, more Gawd-gifted talents below. He’s also a good dad--of that, I must profess. But yo, doesn’t a good hubby also stand up and make himself heard, instead of doing every damn thing his wife-unit tells him to do? Well, I guess being an equally vibrant marriage partner is an idea that belongs to a diff century than the one Mr. G. has his supple tush ‘n’ hairdo buried in. At least it appears that way. ‘Cause guess who P.G. is asking permission from to attend all (and I mean all) his pro gigs? Uh-huh, the old lady from hell, I mean, heaven! Pussy wanted to attend a movie premiere recently (in which he was friggin’ involved!), for ince, but Missus Pussy said no way, religious services come first. End of discussion. Didn’t matter, as P.’s press has never been overly kind to him, anyway. Just woulda fried the dude on the carpet, anyway. (An unfortunate factoid to which Missus P. is no doubt hip.) And it aint;  Tom Hanks, James Brolin - and who the hell is the first guy cuz I cannot think of his name!!!
Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore

Could it be that a certain bi-boy has dumped his dame? Actually, he was the dumpee, since his little wifey realized that all those rumors were true when she caught him diddling with a dexterous male hoofer (which is worse than a female hooker any day). This was one indiscretion that couldn't be swept under the rug. Ironic that she's forced to relive their relationship both at work and at play. Eternal youth is worth a little suffering.
Michael C. Hall

79. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/19
WHICH singer enjoys nothing more than indulging in kinky water sports with her current beau? The husky voiced babe loves it when her fella relieves himself on her chest.
Amy Winehouse

That Toothy Tile. He just lives to push the fagola envelope, love that about the young acting hunk! (And I know you do, too.) Now, quite frankly, T2's latest man-on-man moves far outshine his recent movie choices; though, that's an arguable statement at best—I just don't go fer this hetero image Mr. T. is busy trying to push over on his ever loyal, hapless, ticket-buying fans. But we'll just leave that li'l bit o' politically incorrect poo-pooing and get straight, as it were, to the attempted wild sex in the back of the limousine, 'kay? Thought you might agree... Oh, gawd, I am getting old. I'm confusing all these closeted fruits into one big ass-banging aspic! So, sorry. It was Jiggly Wiggle-Poof who pounced—quite stupidly, I might add—on his so-not-gay limo driver while out promoting his supersuccessful boob-tube show in some hick state. And let's just say what went down was not at all what Jiggly had in mind (something bruised, not blushing). Also, there's hope, I want you all to know, for Mr. Tile's movie career. Dare I say some of his future film projects are looking up, because, uh, how can I put this? T.T. has decided to start sleeping with better-looking people now to get his future projects—is that being too crass about it all? In other words, for T.T.'s next 40-foot-wide job, Tooth-doll not only seduced the man who would decide the whole-deal shebang (it's sort of a studly adventure story, in so many ways), he now shares cocaine, hotel suites and party favors with the bigwig. Isn't that sweet when one can stay bestest amigos with one's ladder-climbing bed partners? Warms my jaded-ass heart. And It Ain't: Isaiah Washington; Danny Bonaduce; Josh Duhamel

Toothy Tile: Jake Gyllenhaal
Jiggly Wiggle-Poof: Ryan Seacrest

81. POPBITCH 10/20
--Which fashion designer is designing a high-end sportswear range for the high street but stipulated in his contract that he doesn't want any other gay designers working in his team?

--Which Hollywood fitness freak leading man has managed to restore his diminishing hairline thanks to a combination of surgery and rogaine? Sadly its not all good news. The side-effects of the drug treatment means that nowadays he needs more viagra than Hugh Heffner. Matthew McConaughey

Which high-octane action-film star (who has had a lot of time on his hands lately) has just rekindled an affair with an old boyfriend?
Vin Diesel

Which married media mogul has been spending an awful lot of time with the female producer who was implicated in the breakup of his first marriage? We suspect his current wife has a voodoo doll full of pins sitting somewhere in the Scientology Celebrity Center.

This newlywed bride is absolutely DESPERATE to get pregnant. She's been having fertility treatments, but the result so far has only been a miscarriage. Family is very important to her and she feels a baby is the only thing her marriage lacks. What's her problem? Her problem isn't WEIGHT - she's not abnormally thin. Her problem isn't AGE - she's still in her thirties. Her problem isn't her HUSBAND- he's functioning normally. Her problem is her addiction to crack.
Pamela Anderson (who was originally offered role on "Deperate Housewives" but turned it down)

85. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/23
WHICH rocker is unfazed by his kids doing drugs at showbiz parties? But if his record is anything to go by, we are not exactly surprised.

86. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/24
WHICH supermodel had a hissy fit, strangely demanding a burger and fries minutes before she went on at a fashion show, causing the organisers to panic?
Kate Moss

87. 3 A.M. GIRLS 10/26
WHICH young Hollywood actor cheered himself up while promoting a teen flick in the UK by hiring a pair of hookers and taking them to his hotel room? Hardly a fairy-tale ending to the evening.

One Masterfully Manipulative Blind Vice: Slurpa Pop-Off, you're such the hustlin' hussy! I dare say, I think this twisted gal gets off on stealing other people's men and watching them suffer. Sick, ain't it? (Yet so Hollywood—yech!) Get a load of Slurpa's latest little pork-and-run plans: Slurpa recently had an altercation, of sorts, with a gal whose former guy Slurpa is currently suckin' face with all over town. Then, this past weekend, S.P.O. flew her Hell-Aycoop for a little fun 'n' sun away from home in another city known for its, uh, devilish diversions. And come Monday, after Slurp's supposedly wild weekend, pics were everywhere of her getting down and dirty with not one, but two questionably doable dudes. Looks like the media fell for her photo-op spit-swap sessions hook, line and deadline-prone sinker. 'Cause it turns out Pop-Off's canoodling for the cameras was planned and pretend. Why's that? Well, to distract from the drama surrounding her and her reported latest amigo, evidently. Are ya with me? Doesn't matter, we're almost to the end here. A bathroom birdie in said city of delightful diversion overheard Slurpa yakking on her phone that she'd temporarily kicked her b-f to the curb 'cause he was too much trouble, but she might just take him back when he rekindles things with his former flame. Girlfriend, you are cold. In more ways than one, I hear...And It Ain't: Kimora Simmons; Nicole Richie; Eva Longoria

Slurpa Pop-off : Paris Hilton
doable dudes: Criss Angel; Chicago Bears All-Pro middle linebacker Brian Urlacher
Boyfriend: Travis Barker

89. NY POST/PAGE SIX 10/30
--WHICH hugely successful TV producer had an awkward moment at Nobu 57 when a shapely blonde started showing him her tattoos? When the blonde lifted up her blouse to show the ink decorating her torso, the producer's new wife screamed, "That's disgusting!"

--WHICH basketball great was smitten by a 20-year-old, Italian Penelope Cruz look-alike at the VIP Room club in Paris and ran a fast break with her to his room at the Hotel George V? The 5-foot-5 beauty said the athlete was very nice. Michael Jordan

Girls go crazy over these two tattooed rockers. They're the real thing - their bands have been hugely successful, and they enjoyed all the fringe benefits of drugs, booze, groupies, strippers, and wild times. They're both good looking and available, but their female fans might be turned off if they knew the truth about these two hot musicians. They're bisexual. And involved with EACH OTHER! Sometimes they enjoy "boys night out" and they secretly rendezvous at one of their houses. They've been known to invite girls to join them in their orgies but the females end up frustrated because the guys get too wrapped up in each other. Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro

Last updated:  March 26, 2007