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1.  3 A.M. GIRLS 03/02
WHICH pint-sized singer shocked her new bloke with her extensive collection of sex toys? The toyboy in question has been telling his mates he's having trouble satisfying the wild de sires of the new missus.
Christina Aguerlia; Pink

2.  NY POST/PAGE SIX 03/02
WHICH very married pop superstar played a vigorous game of tonsil hockey with the much-younger drummer in her band at a recent L.A. party?

3.  POPBITCH 03/03
Which singer has a habit of fixing up sex with strangers on the internet, getting them to book a hotel room, then carelessly forgetting which room they've told him to visit? More than one London hotel has enjoyed the site of the megastar wandering through the corridors, mask placed over head, desperately trying to remember where he's supposed to be going.
Boy George; George Michael

One Toke Over the Dotted Line Blind Vice: Hash Bilk makes me laugh. He makes me cry. And it turns out Hash makes himself laugh. And cry. And maybe even get the munchies and devour whole bags of potato chips. After all, that's what many folks do when they get stoned. Getting stoned is nothing mega, I know. As one bigwig agent chick blabbed to me earlier this week, "Everyone loves [certain sweetie-poo star]. She's just a sweet, nice pothead." I, for one, contest this statement and point to a certain hemp-hyper as Captain Ganja of Malibu, but alas, we're digressing. And I'm not even stoned! Anyway, here's when firing up the joint does become big news: when you do it at the office. And that's exactly what H.B., a major exec and talent, is doing. He even had a special ventilated-office annex built. You know, a smoky little hideaway where he can puff and giggle all he wants without some evil, aspiring CEO sniffing him out. Smart, Hash, I just hope you're careful about who you bring in that room with ya. It makes sense to me that Mr. B. likes to smoke up on the company turf. I mean, his movies can be daring. Why should it be any surprise that he is, too? And he's so talented that I've often wondered what's the secret to his success. But who knew the secret would smell like patchouli? Not me, for one. IT'S NOT: Mel Gibson; Steven Spielberg; Tom Cruise
certain sweetie-poo star: Jennifer Aniston
Hash Bilk
: Quentin Tarentino; JJ Abrams

5.  3 A.M. GIRLS 03/03
WHAT picture-perfect marriage isn't as rosy at the pair would like us to believe? She was miffed when he said he was going on a boys-only skiing holiday in the Alps, as she was hoping for a romantic break for two. Whatever next?

6. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/04
WHAT famous face has no one fooled when she says she's got over her various addictions? The lady in question, who's been in and out of rehab over the years, still trawls Narcotics Anonymous meetings in London looking for toyboys.
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson; Naomi Campbell; Kate Moss; Donatella

Which fashionable Italian has a hidden camera in each of the staterooms on their yacht so as to tape late-night celebrity couplings? Apparently, the best one is a vintage recording of Hugh Grant and Liz Hurley. Donatella Versace; Armani; Dolce & Gabbana; Valentino

8. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/06
WHICH pop starlet desperate to revive her flagging career is hunting for a famous boyfriend? She's even told her agent to set her up with a suitable candidate so she can get back into the spotlight.
Ashlee Simpson

9. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/07
Which hard partying star was overheard telling a friend that her recent haircut was down to the fact that her locks are falling out because, "I hardly ever eat"? Time to get a decent meal love.
Sienna Miller

10. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/08
WHICH FUNKY singer got a little out of hand with her demands of a record company flunky during a recent visit to the UK? A runner was nearly fired for missing a meeting after being sent out to buy some weed. And she never even paid for her drugs.
Macy Gray

One Fellah-Flirting-in-Public Blind Vice?
It had to happen. Toothy Tile, you're toast. You've been so damn taken with the breathless watching of whether or not you'd maybe, just maybe, decide to come outta the closet you thought you'd keep your fans (not to mention my readers) on the edge of their slippery seats forever. Think again. 'Cause, girlfriend, there's a new gay in town--meet Crisp Lisp. And he's way cooler. Actually new isn't quite the right word to describe C.L., but more on him in a sec. Let's face it. T2 was going to be dethroned as King of the Closet one of these days. Everyone is bored, already. I mean, come out or stay in, it's your call. But the way Toothy prances about (lately), never really making any statements that give us something to chomp on, is just plain aggravating. Yes, I am much more impressed by Crisp Lisp. On Oscar night, he attended one of the hottest-ticket bashes in this damn town. And he didn't go alone. He was with his date--a very nice, if shy, dude. The two made no secret that they were on a romantic outing. And by this fetching factoid, I don't mean to imply they were sucking face and groping each other. I mean, Tara Reid C.L. is not and never will be. Rather, Crisp and his paramour just kinda chilled. Held hands. Whispered low. Gazed longingly into each other's bedroom eyes, blah-pre-poke-behavior -blah. Sure, everyone knew what was going on and that this is pretty much C.L.'s first foray into serious gay-relationship territory. I wanna wish C.L. luck. And even though Crisp has a detractor, or three, in this town (who friggin' doesn't?), well, who can hold a grudge against new love? Oh, and if you think you've seen C.-hon at a lot of high-profile parties lately, you're right. You totally have. IT'S NOT: Matt Dillon; Terence Howard; Jonathan Rhys Myers

12. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/09
WHICH up and coming actor has gone a bit batty? After a night out at a North London club last week, the husband and father was overheard asking if there were any sex parties going on.
Cillian Murphy

What fortysomething actress is said to have needed close to $800,000 in digital retouching after studio suits decided she looked too old for her younger co-star?

14. NY POST/PAGE SIX 03/10
WHICH gorgeous, auburn-haired network news reporter was caught in the act with a married assignment editor? Seems they ducked into the office of a reporter they thought was out of town, but the other reporter suddenly opened the door and found her colleague giving the boss oral sex. The official story is they were just "talking."

Which handsome young TV actor is the object of a $100,000 bounty being offered by a wealthy (and apparently, unhealthily obsessed) Los Angeleno who is trying to get him into bed?

Which drunk X-Man was following Matthew McConaughey around like a puppy dog at Bungalow 8 in the wee hours of Thursday morning after the premiere of "Failure to Launch"? "It was very, very weird," says a witness.

18. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/13
WHICH celeb tries to bed just about every girl he meets to prove he's not gay? The star pledges to have his prey singing his praises in the bedroom and is keen to prove he can still cut the luurve mustard.
Robbie Williams

19. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/14
WHICH married Hollywood actor got friendly with a leading London-based publicist last week? Word is the tough guy and the lady in question bumped uglies in an LA hotel and are desperate for the liaison to remain secret from prying eyes.
 Russell Crowe

20. MAXIM 03/14
This month's Maxim magazine prints the 100 greatest moments in their first 100 issues, and included are some (not particularly recent) blind items. A couple are sufficiently juicy I thought they'd be appreciated here.

--Within 30 seconds of sparking up a conversation, an actor with a reputation for being an, ahem, annoying dick, asks an editor if he has any blow. The actor then proceeds to stick his tongue in the editor's ear. Andy Dick

-- It's not uncommon for a girl not to wear undies at a photo shoot if she's, say, wearing a skirt. What is uncommon -- and quite disturbing -- is to have girl's dad tag along and stare at his daughter's hamburger bun for a half-hour, as was the case when we shot this famous blondie in 2001. Jessica Simpson

21. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/15
WHICH Hollywood actor is having furious rows with his wife after he held a series of swinging parties at their lavish home? He likes to get jiggy with other women but his other half is now terrified that the story will get out.
Will Smith

22. NY POST/PAGE SIX 03/16
--WHICH married "Sopranos" actor has been having an affair with an actress who will appear in the series later this season?
Michael Imperioli Christopher and Julianna Margulies

--WHICH cute young Hollywood couple is kaput? The blond babe dumped her hunk after she found out he gave her herpes. Orlando Bloom/Kate Bosworth

23. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/16
WHICH larger-than-life actress was trying to make a subtle show of her frequent trips to the Ladies to "powder her nose"? She was spotted trying out different toilets so no one would guess how much time she spent in the cubicles. It'll end in tears.
Kirstie Alley; Anna Nicole Smith

24. POPBITCH 03/16
Which Hollywood movie director can't stop hitting on beautiful young boys - both on the casting couch or at parties? Recently he took his latest fancy with him to a dinner party in the Hollywood Hills, but on arrival decided he preferred the companion of another guest. So the two men simply swapped boy-toys between main course and dessert. Bryan Singer

26. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/17
WHICH singer stalked a riding instructor after he turned down her demand for private tuition? She kept calling, shouting, "Do you know who I am?" He hung up on her and then played her mess ages to his mates in the pub. Madonna

One Rattling Blind Vice: Oh, Hussy Purr, every day I come a wee bit closer to understanding why you change moods more often than hairstyles. Sometimes, a story unfolds slowly. What we know is Hussy and her onetime perma-man-candy, Drinkel Manslut, may be no longer. And zillions of theories abound, citing everything from HP's unconventional love life to Drink's roving eyes, hands, etc. Alas, while I'm sure neither Hussy nor Drinkel deserves to be canonized anytime soon, I've learned from excellent sources that it was her misbehavior that put them into "get away from me once and for all" land. And to top it off, I'm told Hussy put her man into a hissy overdrive with an announcement that's straight out of Jerry Springer: I'm pregnant. And you ain't the daddy. I'm sure she put it more gently, of course, but whatev. Not that Hussy ever seemed much of a conniver, mind you. Were she not so famous, none of this scandalicious horror would seem so shocking. But Hussy is. And so is the father. So, don't expect to see any pics of her preggers in the tabs anytime soon. 'Cause you won't. Any guesses why? IT'S NOT: Sienna Miller,Jude Law; DJ AM/Nicole Richie; Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog
Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey

28. GLOBE 03/18
From the 03/13/06 issue of Globe regarding a nanny's book "You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again"....
And Suzy got a glimpse of the sinner side of Hollywood when another friend of hers told her about working for an actor, who played a squeaky-clean investigator on television, but had a terrible cocaine addiction. She tells how one morning in the bathroom her friend sucked up a small fortune in spilled white powder with a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner. It wasn't just the cocaine snorting at home that got to me," Suzy says. "It was watching him on a talk show. There he was telling his host about the evils of drugs and how he was afraid it was going to influence his kids."

29. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/18
WHICH mega-celeb is worrying pals by raving on and on about having ever-wackier alternative "treatments"? The latest procedure involves bleaching a certain part of her anatomy. Don't even go there.

30. THE SUN/UK 03/18
A HOLLYWOOD actor performed a lewd sex act in front of a masseuse at a top hotel, an employment tribunal heard. The A-list star — who cannot be identified for legal reasons — is alleged to have done it while on holiday with his wife at the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews, Fife. He was being given a massage in the spa when he allegedly forcefully grabbed the masseuse’s wrist, took off his towel and performed a sex act on himself. The 34-year-old worker claimed she was eventually sacked after complaining to her bosses. She told the Dundee tribunal: “It was disgusting and, even though he was a Hollywood superstar, I couldn’t believe he thought he could get away with something like that. “He abused me and I considered that a criminal act. “When I was giving his wife a massage afterwards, I wanted to tell her everything.” She said, during the previous massage with the American star, he touched her back. She added: “He asked me if I was comfortable touching him everywhere and I said, ‘No’.” She claims in the following months she was blamed for two small fires, even though she was not on duty at the time. The woman claims unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination. The tribunal continues at a later date.
Kevin Costner

Which male socialite and notorious red-carpet hog once dropped a girlfriend with the immortal line, "I'm just not ready to be photographed with you"?
Fabian Basabe

Which famous older star, who married a very rich person at an oceanside compound last month, had to be talked out of having a cash bar at the wedding reception, according to the New York-based event planner?
Glenn Close

33. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/20
WHICH slinky US celeb about to meet a powerful movie mogul was saved from a terrible blunder by a lowly LA valet parking attendant? The posh restaurant's flunky warned the young lady that she had a white powder moustache.
Lindsay Lohan

34. NY POST/PAGE SIX 03/20
--WHICH scandalized sweetheart demands that her bedmates perform an ultra-raunchy sex act that would seem to belie her good-girl image?

--WHICH married former Olympic ski champ had a steamy tryst with another woman at the Torino olympics?

35. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/21
WHICH promiscuous miss has fallen out with her sister after being caught flirting with her sibling's other half? The younger of the two has told pals she thinks her big sis has no morals Ouch.
Nicky and Paris Hilton; Jessica and Ashlee Simpson

36. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/22
WHICH "surgery-free" star's liposuction and face-lift scars were spotted by a sharpeyed dresser during a fitting? The ageing babe instinctively chooses stylists who hide the evidence of her naughty secret. Sharon Stone

37. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/24
WHICH pop beauty would be surprised to learn of her new man's true sexual leanings? Her beau is secretly gay and one of his aides let it slip that although his new miss "isn't his type" she is useful for keeping up the pretence.
Jesse Metcalfe one of the Girls Aloud

One Slurplicious Blind Vice: Hey, you raunchy-ass readers, have you missed our nose-candy-lovin' party-doll, Pixie Mixie? Me, too, kittens. And, apparently, there's a little something that Pixie herself has been yearning for: Sapphic tongue-tangling. So, she indulged recently--and how. Yay for Pixie! Yay for us! 'Twas a chillin' night at a palatial pad belonging to one of Pixie's many fake friends. Just a few chicks gathered around the glass table, snorting and gossing--alas, not playing much mah-jongg, as these babes are way too young and tirelessly cool for that. Suddenly, assorted rail-thinistas looked across the room and saw P.M. making out, "hard-core, tongues heavy," with a gal-pal, so blurted one of the babes who hasn't eaten since Cher had her real body parts. Too hot. Perhaps our daring dahling has grown tired of boys? Heaven knows she ain't had the greatest year in the man-love department. Or maybe there was some magical potion in the blow she was vacuuming up her delicate nose? In any case, my dilated eyewitness has run around with Pixie and her pals for a long-ass time, and she offered her interpretation: "I don't think she was just screwing around. I think she's gay and repressing it." Oh, Pixie-doll, haven't you seen Brokeback Mountain? Don't you know what all that pretending will do to a girl's complexion/career?
IT'S NOT: Jessica Simpson; Jamie-Lynn Sigler; Ashley Olsen
Nicole Richie

Which is-he-or-isn't-he actor prefers erotic activities with his own gender that he thinks don't technically constitute sex? The brown-eyed leading man recently hooked up with a male makeup artist who shares his exotic looks. Keanu Reeves

--Which A-list Oscar winner is being photographed with a young lady who, until recently, was a top Los Angeles call girl? Jamie Foxx

--Which British heartthrob film star has been secretly dating a male New York City ballet dancer? Orlando Bloom; Joseph Fiennes

41. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/27
WHICH Hollywood brat is hell-bent on making her mum dump her new hubby? The actress didn't bargain on her kids hating her bloke but relations are now rumoured to be at breaking point.

42. NY POST/PAGE SIX 03/27
--WHICH handsome 40ish actor got into an argument over a men's room stall at the Otis in San Francisco? The actor then entered the stall with another man who was later heard complaining to his coke dealer about the cost of "the snowball."

--WHICH married sports broadcaster is having an affair with his line producer? Bob Costas

--Could it be that a certain Broadway babe is getting a reputation for being quite the bitch? That's the buzz from people who worked with her in that mega hit - ring any bells? I'm told that producers of that show have been spreading the word to prospective employers that they couldn't wait to cut the belter loose.
Faith Prince/The Bells are Ringing

--Could it be that a certain blonde boy and his galpal have been known to enjoy group scenes? So say sources here and there who tell me that the goth gal enjoys having other females to frolic with. This has been no hardship to our beatific beau - that is, until the couple's prospective playmates brought her hubby along for the ride. And ride him they did. I suspect the camera weren't rolling that night.

44. 3 A.M. GIRLS 03/28
WHICH model gave her flunkies a really hard time during a recent shoot on the beach? Every morning the bed head's minions would draw straws over who should drag her from the drugged-up, semicomatosed stupor she invariably worked herself into.
Kate Moss

Which spokeswoman for a major cable network, who spends a lot of time hedging about the sexuality of its biggest star, has a brother who used to date the guy? Funny how she never mentioned that!
Biggest star: Anderson Cooper

Which barely closeted film star better be nicer to his tricks if he doesn't want to end up in the gossip columns? The leading man in a current release took a male model home after a recent visit to Bungalow 8. But after receiving a certain presidential sex act, informed the gentleman, "Don't [bleep]ing touch me!" when he tried to show some actual affection. Now the miffed model is telling the story all over town.
Matthew McConaughey; Vin Diesel; Kevin Spacey

One Tuchis-Time Blind Vice: Take a good, long soak in the tub. Then gear up them gams. Lick those lips, and prepare for the kind of fun traditionally reserved for WeHo types like myself. Oh, darlings, it's just so exciting when you straight honeys take a tip from the fagolas--especially when said cue is...carnal. Now, Wilmer Valderrama may have a self-proclaimed big unit (or not, I'm going to ask Mandy Moore the next time I bump into her). But never mind size. After all, today's broad-shouldered bohunk, Dingle Tingle, isn't exactly hugely endowed. "Average" is the word gals use to describe him to me. Babes who have slept with Dingle, mind you, not seen him baking nude by the pool or somethin'. But good news. None of his mattress mates care a whit. In fact, according to one gorgeous sweetie in par-tick (a gal who's still reeling after her romp in the sack with D.T.), nobody does it better than the Dingle dude. His secret, you ask? Let's just say that while most of Ding's dumbo hetero partners in bedroom piracy are concentrating on a woman's more traditional erogenous zones, Ding thinks more outside the box: Yes, that's right. Mostly, myopic men gun, cumbersomely, for the front door. Not our Ding, he rings in slowly, oh so seductively--and with the cunning of a ferret out only to please--for the rear. And Mr. T. is very, very good at his unique amor-angling. So excelente, as a matter of fact, that the babes who share their lovemaking sessions with him are so dazzled, they tell their gal-pals, who tell their gal-pals, who... And you know what? Dingle T. has time for all of 'em, it seems. Jeez. Ya think Missus Dingle Tingle knows what's up, or down, as it were? Or is she too gaga gone between the sheets herself to notice? Sure hope it's the latter.
IT'S NOT: Patrick Dempsey; Will Smith; Ashton Kutcher
Johhny Knoxville

Which out Broadway star is having a hard time with the fact that his boyfriend has found fame on a prime-time ABC show? Not out of jealousy - it just means now they can't be a public couple.
 T.R. Knight (ABC's "Grey's Anatomy")

Sheesh, the way this moderately talented, questionably funny TV and movie guy has been acting, anyone might guess that he'd been on top of the world forever. But even with his career only recently shifting into gear (well, with one hit movie, anyway), he and his pack of frat-boy-type hangers-on have been pulling pranks and massive star stunts that are making coworkers want to slap some sense into him. On completing his most recent comedy romp, he and his boys nearly got into serious trouble when they helped themselves to choice antiques and expensive furniture used in the movie by loading them into a rented truck, Problem is, the treasures belonged to the wealthy L.A. couple whose mansion was being rented as a location for the movie. Only lots of frantic phone calls from the actor's peeps to the studio bosses and the insurance company kept the whole mess quiet and the goodies were just as quietly returned to the owners.
Jimmy Fallon

Not quite a star, although she's been given more shots than most, this tall, pretty thing has not quite landed a star vehicle or the right guy, either. Murg can figure out why she's not a huge name. Although she's sexy and great looking, she can't act a lick and scores a zero in the charisma department. Slightly more mysterious is the no-guy sitch but then, you'd only have to be around her for five minutes to figure that one out. You see, even by Hollywood standards, she is so abysmally dumb, she can barely hold a coherent conversation. About anything. Add to that her scary level of career ambition and the fact that she isn't exactly a dewy twentysomething anymore and you've got the makings on one very unhappy, unhitched, unhinged little lady.
Heather Graham

Could it be that a bold and brassy bounder has been seeking same-sex satisfaction? Although he regularly brings home the bacon, his life doesn't revolve around work. Even now on location, this handsome guy regularly needs male companionship. Although he's particularly fond of BJs, when push comes to shove, our wanker doesn't mind taking matters into his own hands. People on the set tell me that's racked up quite a pricey tab calling gay phone sex lines from his mobile. Can you hear me now?
Jason Statham

Which television actor and his famous girlfriend are fighting over his extracurricular activities? They had to take a little sexual hiatus while antibiotics cleared up a nasty little somethin' somethin' he picked up outside the bedroom.
Kevin Connolly/Nicki Hilton; Josh Duhamel/Fergie

53. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/04
WHICH actor is making up all kinds of stories to avoid being intimate with his wife? The star is having trouble clearing up a bout of something nasty he picked up while playing away from home.

54. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/05
WHICH veteran rocker has a regular hooker he meets up with every time he visits Las Vegas? The man in question has been womanising for years but hasn't a prayer of getting away with it for much longer.
Jon Bon Jovi

55. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/05
WHICH pop starlet's pals are desperately trying to persuade her to see a shrink? The young lady is suffering serious emotional problems, but she won't go. It really doesn't look good.

What sixtysomething superstar of stage, film and song may be haunted by a home sex movie she made back when she was in her prime? Someone who's seen it tells us, "It may be her greatest performance ever."
Barbara Streisand

57. POPBITCH 04/06
--Which LA it-girl had a special implant to try and stop her drug addiction, but is back on the smack because she's now learned that the impact gives the drugs more of a kick?
Nicole Richie

--Which TV celebrity chef has had to have a member of the film crew follow him round to discreetly blow away the fine dusting of naughty salt that was showered over baking trays and work surfaces as he bent over them?

58. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/07
WHICH rocker has been blacklisted from six New York brothels because of the appalling way he treats the prostitutes? His bad reputation started when he insisted on beating the women during unnatural sex acts.

One Blowin'-in-the-Stall Blind Vice: Darn it! I've covered a zillion and one glitzy press events at posh (yet out of the way) hotels, and not once has Vanilla Fill-Ya ever asked me to join him in the bathroom toilets. My feelings are a tad hurt, really. But on with it; I am a solider--sigh. 'Twas just another junket for hottie Van F.--a much more daring adventurer in the boudoir than his teenybopper fans realize. Alas, these media affairs must get so tiresome after a teensy while. Perhaps, then, a combination of jaded boredom and curious kinkiness is what drove V.F. to step into a rather spacious stall with a cute gent for some on-your-knees, open-your-mouth fun. Van was serviced, natch. I mean, he is, like, pretty famous. You know, I'm never one to balk at the surprise-he's-gay-but-shhh news. However, I admit I am rather stunned about Van's bi-licious tendencies. His image is so freakin' straight. In fact, V.F.'s the guy your teenage daughter is convinced should take her to the prom and deflower her under the bleachers before homecoming queen and king are crowned. And yet, it's pretty common knowledge in Hell-Ay that Mr. Fill-Ya's a big-time he-ho . No, not a Bruce Willis 24/7 flirter, more of a pathological mattress masher of endless female flesh. Well, good to know you're open to all kinds of sexiness, Van. But you might wanna do a bit like other same-sex studmuffin's in town do, and get the confidentiality agreements signed before that next bathroom door is locked. AND IT’S NOT: Tom Welling; Orlando Bloom; Josh Duhamel
Ashton Kutcher

61. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/08
WHO is the precocious miss who recently propositioned an aspiring rocker for a threesome? It wouldn't be the first time the girl indulged in fruity exploits as she often offers random men 'favours' in seedy rockclubs.
Peaches Geldof

Which reality star - whose blond head is on all the bus stops promoting the show's new season - is such a pothead it's putting the show in jeopardy? Insiders say it has become almost impossible to film around the incessant smoking. Nicole Richie

--Which perennial TV blond, recently linked in an unlikely romance, likes to get sozzled and make out with L.A. Four Seasons hotel barmen half her age? And not just the one, neither.
Heather Locklear

--Which fiftysomething studio exec is a Hollywood laughingstock for insisting to anyone who will listen that one of film's most legendary Lotharios is constantly pressuring her for a hookup? Sherry Lansing

64. NY POST/PAGE SIX 04/10
--WHICH rocker is back on drugs? The supposedly clean singer has been hanging out in Hollywood clubs known for being dope dens - and with a fast crowd that includes a photographer and a bimbo, all of whom snort and shoot regularly.
Scott Weiland

--WHICH celebrity mom likes to partake in her daughter's pastimes? Not only will the mom do drugs with her offspring, she's got an eye for her men as well. Dina Lohan

One Horsing Around Blind Vice: Pixie Mixie, your life is becoming more and more like a serialized British comedy that would be far too raunchy and ribald for American audiences. We here in the land of the fruity and the free don't tend to condone racial slurs and messy heroin stains. Try Great Brit, Pix--that's where they use nefarious humor and the C-word like I do overdone adjectives! Alas, Pixie is certainly very American. So, she should know better. Or maybe she does, and she just doesn't care; who the eff knows with this broad. 'Kay. Let's get ugly, shall we? It was at a glitzy party in an even glitzier city that Pixie Mixie was relaxing at a table with some of her snootiest, closest friends. Thrilled to see the famous mini-goddess in person, a humble young man approached. He smiled broadly, in a winky way. "I am a star-fucker, and you are a star," he bravely--and totally cojones-equipped--blurted. "See where this is going?" But Pixie wasn't in the mood to joke around. "Ewww!" she railed, loud enuff for everyone within several feet to hear. "Get this [racial epithet] away from me!" So racist! So bossy! Her tablemates looked around, all horrified. Naturally, the fawning fellow fled across the room. Feeling guilty, he sent over an olive branch (the kind Matt Lauer might send to Tom Cruise, say): a plate of French fries and a gravy boat. But Pixie didn't so much as touch the damn food. Instead, she bolted. Later in the evening, Pix was back on the scene at a party nearby. Important denizens noticed that something was different about her. A sudden haircut? A new shade of rouge? Nope. It was the mustache she had suddenly grown. Not the kind that can be staved off with a little electrolysis at Elizabeth Arden. Nope. Pixie's stache was made of powder. No, not Kate Moss white; this stache was yellow and brown. Yep, heroin lip. Oh, Pixie, really? Well, there is something redeeming in all this. Maybe glamour girlfriend only gets racist when she's all smacked out. See, I knew we'd end on a positive note! IT’S NOT: Whitney Houston; Lindsay Lohan; Brittany Murphy
Paris Hilton

66. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/14
WHICH TV star is so desperate for publicity that she's hooked up with a secretly gay man? The babe is now his temporary "beard" so as to maximise any photo opportunities.
Teri Hatcher/Ryan Seacrest; Nicollette Sheridan/Michael Bolton

67. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/15
WHICH jet-setting millionaire celeb has secretly been having sex with a kept woman in the UK? She's so well paid for her services that she's able to send her kids to private school.

68. NY POST/PAGE SIX 04/16
--WHICH movie honcho's wife just caught him in bed with a young male agent at a powerful talent agency? The dishy dalliance would certainly explain the preferential treatment the movie man once showed his hunky friend when he was the friend's boss at the agency.
Brad Grey

--WHICH socialite/designer has added some more plastic surgery to her resume? Pals say she's either had breast implants or "she's wearing balloons beneath her shirt." Donatella Versace; Nikki Hilton

Which notorious kiss-and-teller says he has one more untold celebrity sex story the tabloids would kill to know? If you ­believe him (and the jury's out on that), this one's an Oscar winner.
Wilmer Valderrama and the Oscar winner is Renee Zellweger or Hilary Swank

70. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/17
WHICH rapper refused to do a TV interview because his personal hairdresser hadn't been flown over from the States? The multimillionaire kept a crew waiting for hours before pulling the plug because his barnet wasn't perfect.

71. NY POST/PAGE SIX 04/17
--WHICH hard-partying Hollywood stud may have already jumped off the wagon after a recent stint in booze rehab? He knocked back a few too many at a recent movie after-party, and worried publicists had to quietly escort him out.

--WHICH broadcast-TV weatherman could be facing the ax because "he just isn't working out"? Snitches say producers of the show are secretly courting a rival weatherguy, who might end up with a fat contract and a game show if he stays where he is because his boss doesn't want to lose him.

Could it be that one of our favorite boys on the small screen is flying without a net, literally? Yes, the dude who got his start in this business doing it doggie style spends most weekends adding the trapeze to his formidable arsenal of skills that include singing, dancing, and magic (he can make a penis disappear in at least two places). Need more clues? The lanky lad (who could call Laurie Prange "neighbor" - and that is my favorite clue) also made his mark on the stage.
Neil Patrick Harris

Which Hollywood stage mother was recently overheard underlining her own importance with the remark, "I know Tommy Mottola." Which these days is probably more of a punch line than a threat.
Dina Lohan

Which split couple each has a new girlfriend? The Mrs.' mate is the personal assistant of a well-known singer-actress. Russell and Kimora Simmons

75. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/20
WHICH US starlet made photo shoot staff order £1,000 of food for her? The actress had the munchies after a cocaine session and demanded mag staff order a feast from a top NY restaurant - then left most of it! Nicole Richie

Which very young Hollywood superstar makes her posse leave their cellphones by the door of her NYC hotel room so the tabloids can't get camera-phone pics of her doing coke?
Lindsay Lohan

77. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/21
WHICH superstar singer's people spread a rumour her new songs are being leaked on to the internet to try to revive interest in her. Sadly for the yo-yo dieter, the songs were old ones deemed not worthy of her last CD.
Janet Jackson

Which husband and L.A. flack supposedly cut a lucrative kickback deal with a photo agency over certain celebrity baby pics? Wonder if Mommy knows about it?
Tom Cruise

79. POPBITCH 04/21
--Buff queens in LA's Crunch gym are gossiping that which family-guy actor is on a mission to hire black rentboys and get them to hunt him across jungle-like rough terrain? Tom Cruise

--Which celebrity chef is an unlikely but keen user of one of London's hottest rent boys?

--Which schmaltzy Hollywood funnyman used to love to hire young, tanned, Mediterranean boys to accompany him on set? The actor was known for treating his twinks well and stayed friendly with them for years. Milton Berle

One Randy 'n' Rockin' Blind Vice: Spring fever! It's here, darlings. I knew it was when a very de-lish lass spared no moist detail as she related her mattress mash-up with an action-remake director. Will they meet again? Oh, who cares! We have better thumpin' things to talk about today. Like, say, crooner Dinky Rider and his pretty damn serious girlfriend, Clenched Class. Here's what's funny: C.C. is so sumptuous (though some would callthe babe prissy) that it's hard to picture her in something as common and practical as...a bus. Yet D.R. is quite the opposite when it comes to moving vehicles (his private parts most definitely included). There was a concert. Girlies galore were stampeding Mr. R., who was doing his best to shun the horny honeys, as things are super serious between C. 'n' D. Keep that lovely sentiment in mind while we zoom in on a bus parked backstage for Dinky's private use. Frantic fans, journalists and roadies milled about, soaking up the fun-ass scene. And then a door opened from Dink's wheels. And a remarkably curvy gal emerged with that look on her face, you know--the glow. Wonder if said peach-puss had anything to do with muffled screams and quiet moans heard prior from same locale? Hmmm. Two points of note: Mystery bedhead babe is a very different body type from C.C. All they have in common is...well, I won't say. I wouldn't want Clenched to come after me with a blow dryer or anything. AND IT AIN'T: Beyonce/JayZ; Heidi Klum/Seal; Drew Barrymore/Fabrizio Moretti
Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban

81. NY POST/PAGE SIX 04/24
--WHICH actress married to a Broadway star took fertility drugs to become pregnant with her only child?
Sarah Jessica Parker

--WHAT morning TV host is now living apart from his wife because she hired a private eye who bugged his car? The hidden microphone caught him having an affair with a lovely young reporter for a cable station. Matt Lauer

--WHICH young hotshot director lost a big superhero movie project because he pulled a gun on one of the producers? Brett Ratner

--Which fictitious romance between two not-currently-on-TV stars isn't even believed by the outlet that "broke the story?" He's going to have to butch up his posse if he wants to pull that one off.
Matt LeBlanc and Andrea Anders

--Which aging crooner non-plussed recent guests at his Palm Springs pad by playing only his own music during dinner? "When he got up to change the CD, we thought we might get something different," laughs a visitor. "But then he just put another one of his on. It was weird." Barry Manilow

83. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/27
WHICH starlet would blush red if she knew about pics her "pals" have swiped? She's with another female A-lister, starkers and up to no good with some Colombian marching powder.

84. POPBITCH 04/27
--Which sharp-tongued fashion designer made a spectacle of himself at a brothel in Rio this year? At brothel 202, the fashionista asked for the three biggest black guys to shag him, but had forgotten to douche so sprayed the room with poo.

--Which young Hollywood star is thinking of announcing that he is bisexual? Jake Gyllenhaal; Elijah Wood

85. PerezHilton 04/27
A security guard at hot new nightclub Shag was shocked and disgusted at the club's grand opening party this past Monday night when he walked in on what larger than life Hollywood teddy bear getting a blowjob from another fella??
John Goodman

86. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/28
WHICH skinny celebrity stunned guests at an LA bash by emerging from one of her frequent toilet trips with a nosebleed? The star's love of cocaine is well known in showbiz circles but pals now fear her addiction is out of control.
Nicole Richie

One Lucky Bastard Blind Vice: How does one describe Chumpy Lumpy? He's not hot, hell, no. He's almost cute, in that "neighbor who feeds your cat and leaves a smiley note on the counter" sort of way. Chumpy's the guy your sister would describe as "supernice." But if you asked your sibling if she wanted to do him, she would swat you with her nail polish, roll her eyes and start talking about how hot Johnny Depp is. Regardless, get a hold of the following: The rumors that Mr. Lumpy is hooking up with semi-famous cable hunk Prance Butt have been around for a little while. Good for Chump, I said to myself. Because, hey, who doesn't like to see a has-been doofus get some play, right? But, jeez, yesterday I found out Chumpy L. is double-dude-dipping. He has been doing the, um, night-shift nooky with yet another famous boob-tube fixture, Sinewy Slim, an utterly buff-ready corn-fed thing who seems to specialize in one-hour schlockedies. And that was just too much information. I lost my fruit salad (lotta cantaloupe over here at my E! Networks office, I'm tellin' ya!). Why is this happening? I mean, I don't know whether I wanna high-five Chumpy-babe or force him to meet me at Equinox so I can show him how to do crunches. His abs would prolly come back pretty fast, see. I mean, surely he's still somewhat lithe from his physically demanding yesteryears, eh? IT'S NOT: Don Johnson; Aaron Carter; Nick Carter

Chumpy Lumpy: Lance Bass
Prance Butt: Reichen Lehmkuhl (gay dude from Amazing Race)
Sinewy Slim: Ty Pennington

88. PerezHilton 04/28
What young singer is in major trouble with her family after the matriarch of her clan discovered she'd been an ass and was doing drugs with her fashion stylist, whom now may be getting fired?
Ashlee Simpson/Jessica Pastor

89. 3 A.M. GIRLS 04/29
WHICH North-of-the-border actor pulled out of a film when he found out who he'd be starring with? Now his rival has hit the big time, we hear the pair can't bear being compared to each other.
North-of-the-border actor:

Which allegedly hetero Hollywood leading man celebrated his birthday with a gay ménage à trois? The story comes with another report that he gives his hookups strict instructions about how much he's allowed to be touched.

Last updated: March 19, 2007