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1. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/02
WHICH young Tinseltown temptresses can't seem to resist the lure of Bolivian marching powder? We are hearing so many reports these days of pretty young things dabbling in disco dust that we've made a list, which includes:
--a model, supposedly free of her drug woes, back on the powder, doing lines at Teddy's in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel Kate Moss
--a stick-thin celebrity, going through a rough time, who is turning to blow for comfort Nicole Richie
--a soon-to-be single sweetheart being turned on to the drug by her new Hollywood pals Jessica Simpson
--and a social climber who is friend/supplier/fellow user to them all Tara Reid
Entertainment Update 01/02
Gaydar interrupted: There are 2 subjects to this riddle. Both are famous, one more so than the other, and both are actors. One is recognized for award winning prestige projects. The other umm .not so much. But he does have brawn. And while I don't appreciate the shoot `em up, beat `em up genre, there is certainly a market for it. Unfortunately for his legion of female admirers, he prefers sex of the homo variety. And he's looking for a boyfriend. For his part, the true thespian has battled gay suspicions for years. I've heard it incessantly but I can't confirm it. Oddly enough, no one in Hollywood knows for sure either. So it's no surprise that his less talented counterpart decided to hit on him one night recently at a party. And my man came on STRONG. Bad move. Too many people around and not the right approach. He was completely rebuffed. With a room full of witnesses. And it gets worse. The next day, one publicist called the other and issued a stern warning and they also came to an agreement to make sure their clients never cross paths again. And since one dude is clearly more connected than the other, I can assure you that Mr B list was rebuked and ridiculed around town so much that he had to lay low for a while before venturing out in public once again.
Mr. B list: Vin Diesel
Mr. A list: Kevin Spacey
3. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 01/03
What dazzling Oscar-winning actress (and mom) is said to have grown intimate with her female business manager. Catherine Zeta Jones
4. Billy Masters 01/03
Could it be that one of our favorite funny men is spending more time with his old flame - of the same sex? So say sources close to the previous paramour, who tell me that when he's in LA, the ladykiller lives in...you guessed it...the family man's old WeHo bachelor pad. Seems someone still has a key, and knows how to use it - both onstage and off. I'm sure if I chronicled their exploits, we'd find out who's really the best man.
5. 3 A.M. GIRLS
WHICH young Hollywood starlet is so desperate for cash she's propositioned several LA-based Brit actors asking if they could stage a relationship? The fruity girl in question wanted to share the proceeds of any set-up pictures to pay off her debts.
6. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/05
WHO's the model who has been turned down by three plastic surgeons, all refusing to enhance her fake breasts any more? She feels she lost some fullness in pregnancy but the experts say her boobs are already far too large for her frame. Jordan
7. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/05
WHICH three-way celebrity sex video could be headed to the Internet any day now? We hear that a '90s-era rock star taped a menage a trois with a porn star and the ex-husband of one of our favorite Hollywood hellcats in the bathroom of L.A.'s trashtastic Roosevelt Hotel. Now, two of the three carnal combatants are eager to release the freaky footage.
'90s-era rock star:
ex-husband of Hollywood hellcat:
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 01/06
One Chatty, Snorty Blind Vice: Ugh. At midnight, your pooch threw up on the desinger sofa. Then your man says those crabcakes didn't sit well with him. And you're in the medicine cabinet looking for the damn Alka-Seltzer. All the while, you know the Lincoln Town Car's gonna be waiting for you tomorrow. Oy. And you gotta be camera-ready on top of it! And perky! Really perky! Yes, the life of a sickeningly popular boob-tube personality is demanding. How does one do it? With cocaine, you twit. Every dummy knows that, nowadays. It's like any idiot who's halfway rich 'n' famous is back at Studio 54 again--only with less hairspray and jobs to go to in the ayem. And the above tired-ass, drugged out, fake-smiled act certainly applies to Babe Dimple-Doo. In fact, this scenario fits Ms. D.-Doo so damn well, I'd say it's a miracle some tawdry story about the deceivingly demure dame hasn't surfaced in the tabs already. Gosh, wonder why that is? Smarty Babe cut a deal, that's why. Sundry supermarket rags enjoy regular access to BMs. Dimple-Doo's meatloaf recipes, bathroom designs and parlor-room thoughts whenever they so please. But hands off the powder trail! No surprise there. G.P. is all about the très-accessible image, see. Like I always say, home is where the speeding heartbeat is, right? IT'S NOT: Nancy O'Dell; Judge Judy; Kathie Lee Gifford. Kelly Ripa
9. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/07
Which superstar songstress got so drunk her bodyguard had to carry her out of the Chelsea lounge where she was celebrating on New Year's Eve? Fun bonus fact: She's a cousin of the resident drug dealer! Mariah Carey
10. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/07
WHICH starlet was overheard mouthing off loudly about her own film premiere? The young lady should be red-faced after she complained loudly about how awful the party was - right in front of its organisers. Scarlett Johanssen
11. Billy Masters 01/09
Could it be that one of our favorite fag hags rang in the New Year once again barking up the wrong tree? So say folks in SoBe who tell me that the sly older cat and a significantly younger cutie were canoodling like two bad mice in the corner - until the beauteous boy's buff beau barged in. Charity may begin at home, but this vacation suddenly had three little mice jockeying for attention. Sounds like the last honeymoon of our perpetual Miss! Liza Minnelli
12. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/09
WHICH pop starlet is worrying her pals with her newly developed penchant for disco dust? She's fallen in with a showbiz crowd with bad habits, and nothing her bandmates say will make her see sense. Ashlee Simpson
13. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/09
WHICH hunky actor was known as "garbage [bleep]" back in high school? It seems he was willing to sleep with any girl who would let him, no matter what she looked like.
14. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/10
WHICH celeb, who is always banging on about how she's getting her life back on track, has just returned from an almighty bender of a holiday? The lady in question got so sozzled in an Irish bar on the Costas that she fell down the stairs then had a blistering row with her fella. Kate Moss
15. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/13
WHAT troubled starlet is so obsessed with her supposed "nemesis" she's driving everyone mad? She insists on scouring every celeb mag to make sure she's never seen in the same clothes - and once screamed at an assistant for choosing a handbag her rival had used the night before. Lindsay Lohan about Scarlet Johansson; Lindsay Lohan about Hillary Duff
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 01/13
One Saccharine 'n' Slutty Blind Vice: I love Blither Cheese E. And you love him, too. While we're at it, so does your mailman. And your masseuse. Who couldn't like the dude? He's always smiling. He's the farthest thing from scandal. I mean, B.C.E.'s just one of those rare dudes who's considered a national freakin' treasure by everyone. You could almost call him Captain Innocent! Or not, according to Stab Backsider, whose randy ways are always in the damn press. Says Stab: "Why is he so energetic? He wasn't born that way. The secret to his success is that he's got whores all over the country." That's what Stab's blabbing to folks these days. Now, most who hear this news kind of shiver and look away from psycho Stab. Hearing that sweet Barney has got stacks of paid dates is kind of like finding out that Santa Claus eats small children for brunch. And this is frustrating the hell out of Stab because he wants to take old Cheese E. down--and fast. I'm not gonna stay up late fretting about Blither C.E., though. He's so damn popular and revered that it's kind of impossible to imagine this story coming out--even on the cover of a Welsh tabloid. Plus, Blither's not of the Bob Saget school of wanting the world to know that overly sweet family-style goo stuff was just your MO to fame and semifortune. I'm betting Stab's campaign will nevah really work. Of course, those are famous last words, aren't they, darlings? IT'S NOT: Nick Carter/Justin Timberlake; Barney/ Kermit; Howard Stern/Regis Philbin
Blither Cheese E:
17. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/14
Which would-be Martha Stewart, who tried to steal the domestic diva's crown while she was in the clink, has hit hard times? She's not paying her bills and is laying off staff. Sandra Lee
18. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/15
Which emaciated actress was grinding her teeth so hard while presenting at the National Board of Review Awards that the crowd was making bets how much booger sugar she had loaded up on before the ceremony? Amanda Peet
19. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/16
--WHICH pop-singing sensation likes to troll the Internet for gay quickies? After one unsafe session, his homo hook-up contacted a tabloid to sell his sordid story and offered a DNA-encrusted washcloth as proof. If the truth comes out, the singing idol's fans, mostly middle-aged housewives, will be very upset. Clay Aiken
--WHICH Oscar-winning actor is repeatedly unfaithful? He sleeps around so much, it's taking a toll on his long-suffering wife, a former beauty now looking stressed-out. Denzel Washington
--WHICH handsome network anchorman was holding hands with his former girlfriend, a model/actress, in Toronto? It wouldn't matter - if he hadn't reconciled with his wife. Matt Lauer
20. Billy Masters 01/16
Could it be that a certain pretty boy of days gone by has been sharing the bed and bank account of his slightly older doctor friend? That's the word from people close to the medicine man, who fear their pal is being taken advantage of in order for the buzz-cut beauty to make some long-overdue child support payments. Au contraire, say sources intimate with the pushy poseur, who insist he's coy about his sexuality only for professional reasons. Yeah, because it could really drag down his thriving acting career!
21. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/18
--WHICH cuckolded cutie suffered an additional heartbreak when she decided to abort her child? Sienna Miller
--WHICH high-tech billionaire keeps his massive yacht stocked with expensive escorts? Larry Ellison; Paul Allen
--WHICH pop strumpet preferred a certain kind of sexual intercourse, which let her technically maintain her virgin status, with her various hookups before she married her current husband? Britney Spears
22. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 01/18
What TV talk-show diva is said to have a wee bit of an incontinence problem? Production assistants aren't fighting for the job of changing her seat cushion. Star Jones
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 01/20
One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice: I think we use the phrase drama queen too much. Like, it's totally lost its meaning. Which is too bad, because Vamperella Vein-Pop is, like, the only babe I can think of who seriously deserves to be crowned DQ of Hollywood. (Yep, Ashlee Simpson you ain't got nothing on the wanton one.) So, get this. Ms. V-P managed to find herself a nice, non-famous boyfriend. We'll call him Rock Helmet. Now, Vamperella wasn't taking Rock to red carpet events and stuff--but he sure was treating her right whenever she got the hardened itch (which was far less than her saucy image lets on). But, V.V-P. is so damn competitive, I bet there's only one guy in the freakin' universe she'd condescend to be seen in public with. Yep, the one, the only, the perpetually full of preening pizzazz studmuffin of more than a few past Blind Vices, Slick Brick. But here's the thing. Basically, every babe in the world wants to do Slick. So, even though Rock's a major babe, it's not like the competition for name S.B. ain't fierce. Yet, as it happens, the competitive Vamperella managed to score herself a few romps in the sack with Mr. B. Impressive? Sort of. But it's not like these two have gone--or are going to go public. Which must be killing image-conscious Vein-Pop. Like, I bet she makes mock-up magazine covers that feature the two of them embraced, Jen and Vince style. Wait. Did you forget all about Rock? Well, of course you did, sillies. Because so did Vamperella, once she got a bite out of the Slickster! Yep, in classic, passive-aggressive fashion, Vein-Pop just totally blew off poor Rock. Still, the non-famous fella called. And called again. So one day, she finally agreed to see the dude, acting as if it she gave a damn. But once Rock came over, Vamperella called up Slicky and handed the phone over to Mr. Helmet, who then had to hear the six words no dude wants to hear: "Uh, yeah, sure. We slept together." We can report that Rock has recovered and will prolly avoid high-strung actresses in the future. And much as we'd like to confirm that Vamperella and Brick are banging up a storm and keeping their shared enclave's nabes up all night, we cannot. He prefer boys, in the end. And yes, both Vamperella and Slick have appeared in the column this week. IT'S NOT: Lindsay Lohan/Jared Leto; Kirsten Dunst/Leonardo DiCaprio; Kristin Davis/Alec Baldwin
Vamperella Vein-Pop: Teri Hatcher
Rock Helmet: James Macari
Slick Brick: George Clooney
24. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/20
--WHICH foreign-born action star has a sexual split personality? The actor recently visited a bar in L.A., ordered a drink and told the bartender, "Tonight, you see me like a tiger." Many drinks later, he was seen making out with another man. Many, many drinks after that, he was caught indulging in a lewd act in the men's room. Jean Claude Van Damme
--WHICH prefab pop cutie has a bad habit of getting drunk and blurting out that she once had an abortion? Ashlee Simpson
25. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/21
Which NBA great was down in Miami last week, getting bull-ish at the nightclub Prive with a woman who wasn't his wife? Michael Jordan
26. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/21
WHICH model has an interesting arrangement with her hubby ? While the blonde babe insists it's love, he bankrolls her "career" - providing private jets and five-star hotels - in exchange for her organising orgies for them every where they go. Class.
27. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/22
Which teen queen was partying with a thirtysomething female pop star at her NYC home until 10 a.m. last week? What could they have possibly been doing to keep them up so late?
thirtysomething female pop star:
28. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/23
--WHICH model-actress-whatever has some problems in the hygiene department? Famous for showing flesh and flashing smiles at all the chicest parties, this downtown wild child has a certain scent about her. Snotty scenesters blame it on her foreign upbringing, but she was raised here in the city.
--WHICH aging actress who claims that her strangely youthful face has been untouched by a surgeon's scalpel practically has a house account at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon's office? Sharon Stone; Goldie Hawn; Suzanne Somers
--WHICH A-list actress who is having trouble getting pregnant might have her mild case of anorexia to blame? Naomi Watts; Nicole Kidman
29. 3 A.M. GIRLS
WHICH actress got on so badly with her female co-star she launched a campaign to undermine her? She insisted her PA go over all publicity material to ensure her own name was always first and in larger print. Sarah Jessica Parker vs. Rachel McAdams: The Family Stone; Cameron Diaz vs. Toni Collette: In Her Shoes
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 01/24
One Frigid Fete Blind Vice: It's not surprising that Prucella Tight-Tush and Butchy Billfold threw a big bash recently. Hell, this dynamo duo's got a zillion reasons to pop open the bubbly--not to mention a fancy, preened and photographed manse. No, what's really whack is that anyone showed up to their prissy shindig at all. After all, amigos de Butchy know he's more of a, shall we say, daytime partier. Butchy's bashes tend to be more exclusive, as in... Only. Hookers. Allowed. Yep, B. Billfold's idea of a soiree favor is prolly a bottle of Johnny Walker and a dental dam. I'm certain he's safe with the prostitutes he entertains on an alarmingly regular basis. Heaven knows if he got any goo on the gardening tools, Prucella would have his head, fast, damn straight . Which is what makes Missus Tight-Tush's fiasco of a party so damn amusing, if you ask moi. Picture it: five girls on one side of the room; five boys crammed on the other--including an orgasm-inducing actor who's hot on his comeback. No boy-girl mingling. Radio blasting. Radio! Even during the commercials, dear gawd. Of course, everyone humored the missus and stayed for the obligatory post-meal chitchat time, wondering how long Prucella and Butchy plan on torturing their guests at these sorry soiress in the future. And the second that socially conscious hour struck, the posh place was deserted. Hmmm. Will these two famous (and handsome) folks ever combine forces and throw a bring-your-own-vaseline-themed tea party, I wonder? I doubt it. She's way too busy working. IT'S NOT: Jada Pinkett Smith/Will Smith; Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale; Tom Hanks/Rita Wilson
Prucella Tight-Tush: Posh Spice
Butchy Billford: David Beckham
31. Hollywood Life JAN/FEB
--It's a dead heat right now between two big male stars who could easily cop the crown as the guy most despised by the women they've known. There's that offbeat TV hunk who rules one of the funniest, sharpest comedies currently on the air. Few women with whom he's connected have anything good to say about him, from his mechanical jack-hammer lovemaking technique to his inability to be faithful for longer than about a week. Women say his problems come down to a basic, deep-down ugly soul and an utter lack of even basic decency. Then there's his rival, a fun-guy movie star who could continue to be starring in hits for quite a while. Even by Hollywood's low standards when it comes to niceness, this guy ranks as a prince of darkness. On the set, when he isn't constantly cracking infantile jokes with his male coworkers like they're all frat brothers, he's slavishly checking himself out in the mirror. To add to his lack of charm, he constantly refers to female coworkers not by name but by body parts. Still, that's nothing compared to how he relentlessly woos prospective dates with flowers, gifts and sexy phone calls, then, after the first date, he drops them an e-mail detailing what he thinks are their physical faults and why things are not going to work out between them. Apparently this jerk hasn't a clue that nobody would be giving him the time of day, let alone a romantic tumble, if he weren't temporarily famous.
offbeat TV hunk: Jeremy Piven
fun-guy movie star: Owen Wilson
--A few years ago, this talented charmer looked set to burn up the town with her screen presence and uncanny knack for grabbing people's attention. After she got touted as having the potential of becoming an "It" girl, though, too many of her projects either tanked or failed to achieve lift-off. At first she took the usual career-reinvention measures like dumping her agents and managers, plunging herself into acting and yoga classes and frittering away her time on ill-advised relationships with cuties of both sexes. More recently, though, since jobs have gotten more and more scarce, she's had plenty of leisure time to spend on her back entertaining a variety of older, unattractive but hugely rich men in some of the worlds best hotels. Although she tells girlfriends (and probably herself) she's shopping for a husband, others think she's launched herself into the profession for which she was best suited in the first place. Shannen Doherty
32. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/25
WHICH Hollywood hunk had a secret homosexual affair in his 20s? The star ended his gay relationship by hooking up with an A-list girlfriend and he still keeps schtum about his man-on-man liaison.
33. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/27
--WHICH babe-loving billionaire has started checking IDs of the young models he invites on his private jet? The randy retail king is nervous that his high-altitude hookups with underage playthings will draw unwanted attention from his more respectable friends. Richard Branson
--WHICH spurned starlet hired a private investigator to tail her philandering boyfriend all around Hollywood after their painful breakup?
--WHICH squeaky-clean former soap actor is battling a secret addiction to crystal meth? The hunky star once checked into Passages rehab in Los Angeles in a failed bid to kick the habit.
34. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/28
WHICH gold-digging star demanded £60,000 to attend a party held in his honour? The charttopper wanted the cash paid upfront before attending the bash at a London nightclub, but management told him where to go. Kayne West
35. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/28
Which New York City fashion photographer - not known for his interest in women - is the bizarre subject of gossip as being a possible third man in the allegedly troubled marriage of that international pop superstar? Laughs one insider: "If anyone could seduce a gay man, she could."
fashion photographer: David LaChappelle; Stephen Meisel
pop superstar: Madonna
36. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 01/29
Which recent ex of a now-middle-age stage and screen siren wasted no time in getting an online dating profile? Go for it, girls: He's got millions in property, and his screen-name is a reference to his hobby rock 'n' roll band.
middle-age siren: Kathleen Turner
ex: Jay Weiss
37. 3 A.M. GIRLS 01/29
WHICH rocks star's refusal to wear deodorant is causing friction between him and his bandmates? The singer thinks he can get away with going "au natural" but his sweaty pits are leaving his pals cold. Chris Martin
38. NY POST/PAGE SIX 01/30
--WHICH CNBC star is sleeping on the couch these days? The blustery buffoon's wife didn't take too kindly to him when she caught him in flagrante with a comely personal assistant. Jim Kramer
--WHICH British actor is said to be battling the dual demons of crystal meth and heroin? He already underwent a top-secret rehab stay, but his handlers are worried about him again after his zombie-like appearance at a recent awards gala. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
39. Billy Masters 01/30
Could it be that a certain sudsy stud is ready to end his long sexual dry spell with another dude? Easily one the most stunning men in all of daytime, the ripped ruffian has been free of romantic entanglements for as long as one can remember. And yet, he's been recently spotted on several occasions iwth an equally beauteous boy gallivanting (almost ready to run) through the strees of the Big Apple in their well-worn jeans. One needn't be a number cruncher to do the math. Mark Collier from As The World Turns
40. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 01/31
What supposedly straight movie hunk was pawing another guy at a Sundance party - even though his actress girlfriend was a few feet away?
41. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/01
WHICH singer has become so big for his boots he refused to talk to anyone at a recent charity gig? The guy demanded to be put up in a top hotel and had a group of flunkies follow his every move. Talk about an own goal. Rod Stewart
CASABLANCA/E! ONLINE 02/01
One Foreboding Blind Vice: A skinny starlet previously in rehab is back on the blow? Say it ain't so! Suckin' up lines in front of dozens of clubgoers? Shocked! As if. I mean, gals getting their fix of nose candy in the VIP area is nothing new in Hell-Ay. I've got some much juicier gossip about a supposedly squeaky-clean twosome... Breaking up is so hard to do, and the aftermath is never pretty. There are so many unanswered questions. Who gets what? Who's to blame? Who will hook up with someone new first? Who will be named in a scandalous, kinky lawsuit? And finally, who cheated? As if divorces weren't ugly enough, things between Julep Jiggle and Driscoll Dreamboat are about to get downright abysmal--even though their split occurred some time ago. You see, in the near future, someone's most likely going to file a lawsuit. And in that suit will be highly incriminating conversations about one partner's penchant for extramarital threesomes--so says balking babe with fancy lawyers. This is so exciting, I feel just like Tom Cruise in The Firm! Now, I bet you've already pinned Julep as the obvious offender. After all, rumors were flying that J.J. hooked up with a slew of humpy high-rollers. People say she's self-centered and demanding. (By the way, who isn't in this damn town?) Yep, everyone felt très sorry for poor D2. He seemed like such a nice guy. Until now. Since he married Julep, Dris has been gettin' more nasty nooky than ever, according to legal-filing chick. And, evidently, Driscoll's a multitasker. Not just around the house but in the bedroom, too. Three's never a crowd for this guy...the more, the merrier. As if that's not naughty enough, Driscoll hinted he might also be down for a threesome with a smokin' girl...and a very hot, semi-famous bud. Yes, buddy, as in a dude. Whatever, threesomes are the norm here in Blindville. But you know what's exciting about this one, gals? In like a few weeks, you're prolly gonna know exactly who I'm talkin' about. We'll talk then, 'kay?
IT'S NOT: Chad Lowe/Hilary Swank; Lorenzo Lamas/Shauna Sands Lamas; Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee
43. POPBITCH 02/02
--Which Basingstoke synth geek is rumoured to be Jacqueing his Body with Madonna? jacques lu cont aka les rhythms digatales, aka stuart price
--Which European synth-rocker lived the Whitesnake dream by knobbing a groupie in a Sydney hotel suite in front of more than 20 amused onlookers? (This was clearly much against everyone's advice.)
44. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/02
WHICH pop flop paid a gay former troley-dolly to pretend to be her lover when she attempted to re-launch her carrer? The ady in question tried to have her cake and eat by tipping snappers of their whereabouts, but she's been rumbled. Geri Halliwell
45. NY POST/PAGE SIX 02/03
--WHICH sexy actress was more than just a fashion model before she married a handsome actor and had his kids? This beauty was dumped by her agency when her bookers learned she was stripping in a Queens joint for extra cash.
--WHICH newly single sexpot bedded a cad-about-town - who has already slept with several starlets of lesser wattage - after a boozy night at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood? Jessica Simpson
--WHICH actress who voiced a popular cartoon series is said to be a slam-dunk in the sack for Hollywood party boys who prefer a certain kind of sex act?
46. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/03
WHICH big-voiced singer has a slight drink problem? The lady in question was spotted backstage at a recent gig swigging vodka from a bottle in her handbag. Maybe that's a factor in her lack of chart success. Charlotte Church
47. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/05
Which C-list celebutramp in town for Fashion Week probably had a fit when she found out her hotel's housekeeping threw out her coke stash? Kimberly Stewart
MUSTO/VILLAGE VOICE 02/06
1. What TV personality who's perennially chased after drugged-up young'uns is still at it and in fact recently almost had a breakdown when one such boy rejected him?
2. What other TV personality actually dated that rocker he's a fan of?
3. What '80s singer, when asked what she thought of KANYE WEST, cutely said "Who?" Debbie Gibson
4. What superstar's sometime publicist "accidentally" e-mails his friends gushy love letters to himself from hot guys, mythical missives that he actually wrote himself?
5. Which gadfly do people buzz about by noting, "Everyone knows he's gay except his wife"? Star Jones/Al Reynolds
6. What 4725-year-old ex series star was seen in Bangkok not long ago, making lurid eye gestures at a young boy? (At least he didn't have a breakdown when rejected.)
7. What hottest man on earth in the '90san actor with sizzling ethnic looksonce had an affair with a guy I know who I swear didn't deserve it?
8. What forgotten singer was even more of a total bitch than called for while being filmed for a reality show? Lisa Loeb; Jane Weiden; Da Brat
9. What daughter, say the rumors, doesn't look like her world-famous Papa, no doubt because he's infertile and is not her father? (To conceive, her world-famous Mama supposedly did it with a co-worker who the daughter does look like, goo-goo eyes and all.) Chynna Phillips
10. Which rival producer, at the intermission of an autobiographical musical, was heard telling someone, "You can't not like it, but it doesn't kill you. It's the script!"
11. What chef wouldn't mind a taste of that clubbin' transsexual? Rocco DiSpirito
12. Which dead black comic's son once had a relationship with that live black comic, a fact the son revealed at his dad's wake when the live comic (a friend of the deceased) didn't show? Richard Pryor's son and Eddie Murphy
13. Which famous mother once said, "That director was the only straight man I married"? Joel Schumacher and Colin Farrell
14. What star enjoyed Spermalot at a midtown gym's steam room and sauna with a hunky young African American? David Hyde Pierce; Hank Anzaria; Tim Curry
15. What sauced starlet showed up at a gay bash and promptly set to work asking the powers that be how she could get some booger sugar? Lindsay Lohan; Tara Reid
16. What actor who's played gay was supposedly going to come out as bi on that talk show, but naturally didn't? Peter Sarsgaard; Jake Gyllenhaal
17. And what gay director, say the rumors, wants to out his male discovery, but will no doubt succumb to similar pressure not to? Bryan Singer/Brandon Routh (The New Superman)
49. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/08
WHICH 20-something US pop star was so obnoxious when he did the Sydney Harbour Bridge climb with his famous girlfriend that his name has been taken off the wall of fame at the attraction? Justin Timberlake
Casablanca/E! Online 02/09
One Wigged-Out Blind Vice: Snort a million lines of Bolivian marching powder. Have threesomes and group sex, so much so that the Oriental rugs need to be thrown off the balcony 'cause they'd never get clean. Hey, I ain't judging. But here's where I draw the moral line: the hair. Because without good hair, whether it's dyed or natural, curly or ironed, where the hell would we be? Panicking like crazy alongside Musty Mayhem, it would seem. It's like this: The skinny ninny is not eating. And given her predilection for preposterously skanky clothes, that's no shocker. M2 doesn't look like she sucks on much sustenance, anyhow. I mean, she's been teensy for a long-ass time--even back when Lindsay Lohan was originally voluptuous. Can you remember that? Barely, I know. And now things have gotten bad. "She has alopecia," whispers an M.M. associate. "Her hair is falling out, and she is devastated." Now, kittens, it's a horrible thing, scalp disease. But we all know that anorexia makes the follicles angry. And Musty knows it, too. Still, she won't eat! She will not fork anything into that prissy mouth of hers. Indeed, I very much hope she does. This babe is such a fashionista, and we all know what the worst accessory in the world is... Dead head! Okay, this Blind's gonna give me nightmares, so I'll stop now.
IT'S NOT: Nicole Richie; Calista Flockhart; Whitney Houston Paris Hilton; Mary Kate Olsen
51. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/09
Which gay fashion photographer was the third party in a bizarre sex romp between a New York baseball pro and his girlfriend? The snapper was invited to their hotel room to record their kinky sexcapades, and apparently our man with the mitt quite enjoyed being art-directed.
52. POPBITCH 02/09
--Which popstar, egged on by Stella McCartney, "accidentally" stubbed her cigarette out on Heather Mills wooden foot at her and Macca's wedding? Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders
--Which member of Kate Moss's circle is claiming the supermodel is pregnant? Sadie Frost
53. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/10
GRAMMY AWARDS 2006: WHO'S the parasitic celeb who took so much cocaine at an after-show bash she had to be carried by two muscular flunkeys to her tacky awaiting limo? Anna Nicole Smith
54. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/11
WHICH dark-haired model is being hounded by bailiffs after her ex-boyfriend started redirecting all his unpaid bills to her new flat? Wonder if his latest girlfriend realises he's skint.
55. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/12
Which celeb who used to date a supermodel has a gentleman shopping photos of him supposedly with another man? The purveyoris also selling a conspiracy story of the pair allegedly being in cahoots over a lucrative libel payout some years ago. David Copperfield; Leonardo Dicaprio
56. NY POST/PAGE SIX 02/13
--WHICH top Tinseltown madam was forced to shut her online operation after angering some dangerous Arab clients? She changed her face with plastic surgery and recently resurfaced in Hollywood with a new name and a new online escort service.
--WHICH movie heartthrob might not be completely straight? Although he has a girlfriend - called by some "the professional beard" - he left Bungalow 8 the other night with a man and took his new pal back to the Mercer. After their quickie session, the hunk told his "date" to "get lost." Matthew McConaughey/Penelope Cruz
57. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/13
WHICH actor isn't as welcome as he thinks in first-class airline cabins? "His people" warn crew not to give him special treatment and not to speak to him "for more time than is strictly necessary."
58. Billy Masters 02/13
Could it be that another big Hollywood star is all hot and bothered about John Paulus? So says the sexy stud, who told me in a private conversation that Clay Aiken was not the first person of note he'd been with sexually. While I've been sworn to secrecy, I can reveal that the bluegrass beau in question is known for his stormy relationships - high-profile ladies in public, but, in private, he is almost exclusively in the company of men. Although his identity must remain a mystery, rumor has it that he's got quite a knackwurst, if you catch my drift. George Clooney
Entertainment Update 02/14
"Her Hiring Frenzy" : "No one has everything. Even when they seem like they do, there's always something missing. And she's no exception. while her relationship might be mismatched, to say the least, their love appears to be real. Professional success, family support, careers that cross... these two have managed to pull it together and they couldn't be happier. Except that the thing they want the most has eluded them. The longer it takes, the more she fears that the very personal and very controversial decisions and the discards and the rejections she made while young and ambitious are coming back to haunt her. The problem is - he doesn't know. And since the people who DO know from back in the day are whispering so loudly of late, she's desperate to buy their silence. She's offering money and she's offering jobs. She's calling in favours, she's pulling strings, and she's raising eyebrows. All of a sudden, her projects are completely staffed by those who need to keep her confidence. Which means she's having to answer his questions on that front as well. Poor thing is apparently so stressed out about having to keep all these secrets that she isn't getting much sleep, made worse by the fact that she has to play happy and content all day long. With any luck though, all this will change soon. After all, it's not like they haven't been trying." Jennifer Lopez
One Vainglorious Blind Vice: Okay, darlings. I'm just gonna lay down the get-laid law. When you're twisting in the sheets with a lip-mashing mate, selfish behavior has got to be at the top of the don't list. Sex is all about focusing on your partner, relishing their nooks, crannies, piercings and whatnot. I mean, sure, we all get off on ourselves; it's just that usually you save that for when you're alone. And that's why Probe Light is so shocking. He's a rocker--okay, semi-rocker--a very dreamy boy from the sensitive side of the tracks. Sort of a clean-living-room thing. And so as you can predict, this saga begins backstage at one of Probe's concerts. An unknown minx makes her way into P.L.'s dressing room. One flirtatious remark leads to a lick of the lips, and before ya can say, "Top 40 music rules"... Boom, boom, boom, they go, back to his room where they do it all night. Oh. Forgot one little detail about this assignation. Ya see, Probe's own music was playing on the stereo the whole friggin' time. Such a small fornicating factoid, wonder how the hell I forgot it? Seriously, though, give us all a minute to catch our breath here. I mean, where is the romance? Who gets off on their own damn recorded music? Are you kidding me? Isn't that sort of like making love next to a sculpture of your own Johnson? Ya see, the gal was disturbed; but she didn't say anything, shy as she is. Then again, maybe Mick Jagger likes to get satisfaction while listening to one of his band's 10 zillion tunes. But he's a Rolling Stone. And Probe's, well, Probe. Hardly a legend. What's also weird about this incident is I already knew Mr. L. had some kinky quirks, which is fine. But to learn that he would get a D- in Romance 101? Shame. There is, howevah, a happy ending, at least by my standards. Probe surprised his one-night stand with a little mouth-to... Exact body location to remain undisclosed. I'll take a cue from P.L.'s sweet, preteen-appropriate lyrics. He, after all, would never be so explicit. IT'S NOT: Ryan Cabrera; John Legend; Aaron Carter John Mayer
61. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 02/16
What supermodel is said to charge Arab princes $100,000 for a night in heaven? Who needs seven virgins after that? Naomi Campbell
62. NY POST/PAGE SIX 02/19
WHICH young starlet known for her fluctuating weight has added crystal meth to her diet of drugs? Lindsay Lohan
63. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/19
Which troubled actor who recently had a minor comeback is being accused by worried pals of "stalking" a Canadian supermodel? Mickey Rourke
64. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/20
WHICH has-been rapper was overheard telling anyone who'd listen at Saturday night's pre-Bafta party that he wants to be the next James Bond. The singer thinks he's cool enough to pull off the 007 role but we're not convinced. L.L. Cool J; P Diddy
65. NY POST/PAGE SIX 02/20
--WHICH power couple is said to be close to announcing a surprise split? Friends say the cuckolded hubby is tired of his wife flaunting her female lover, who was even invited to their daughter's recent birthday party. Russell and Kimora Lee-Simmons
--WHICH fashion mogul was fuming when an official at his son's private school called him to say that his boy had been caught smoking pot with two buddies?
--WHICH irascible rocker has been dabbling with heroin? Scott Stapp
--WHICH Hollywood hunk, who's said to be very well-endowed, pinch-hits for the other team? His ex-wife discovered that he two-timed her with women, but he also had some boys on the side.
66. Billy Masters 02/20
Harvey Fiestein wrote our blind item: "Last year, someone was going to be honored at a very big public event - like a Kennedy Center thing - and I was asked to be part of it. I wrote my little speech to lead up to some film clips and in it, I mentioned her lover. An then I was told that she wanted her lover taken out of it because she didn't want her lover mentioned someplace where her family might heart - and this is somebody who is supposedly out!" Lily Tomlin
67. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/22
WHICH actress left organisers in chaos when she pulled out of accepting her award with hours to spare? The A-lister decided she didn't want to fly to the UK, so a fellow star was drafted in at the last second. Reese Witherspoon
68. 3 A.M. GIRLS 02/24
WHICH washed up R&B singer was thrown out of a lapdancing club recently after being caught bonking his girl-friend in the toilets? He won't be returning any time soon. The guy who sang Return Of The Mack, Mark Morrison
One Bitches-on-the-Verge Blind Vice: I swear, suits and serious folks can be the biggest babies in this town. Originally, I was going to tell you about certain boardroom types who are having public hissy fits about this whole Clay Aiken threatened class(less) action suit. But I'm so bored with Clay-mate talk that if I have to write about it for another second I'm gonna roll over and let Simon Cowell have his whippin' way with me. Boooring. Just the same, as long as we're on this quasi-S&M trip, we may as well delve into a scandal even more ghoulishly girly than a sexually ambiguous pop star. (Besides, I'm too upset about the cancellation of Love Monkey to talk music right now. And no, I am not kidding.) Okay, get out the Kleenex. Because whatever you may have done on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you had a peachier time than Ivana Belch. Picture it. One of WeHo's snazziest boutiques. I.B. saunters in looking bloated, like she'd spent the morning crying into her feather bed alone instead of banging pillows against the walls in the throws of passion. A shame, yes, given that I.B. is certainly attached to a dude. But it gets worse. "Suddenly, she burst out crying, sobbing really, and went into the dressing room," whispers my stunned shopping source. "It was so sad. You wanted to hug her." Now, you might say to yourself, 'What's the big deal, Ted? So a girl cries in her dressing room, so what? I mean, Kirstie Alley made a comeback out of that." And I, of course, would respond by reminding you of certain glaring, unspeakable circumstances. Ivy is a mega star. She is not Kirstie-size in terms of fame or physique. Plus, need I remind you again? It was Valentine's, and though I don't know Ivana all that well, she sure seems like a gal who would want her man to douse her in chocolate body syrup. Or, you know, just get her some roses. But the bottom line is pretty simple. If you ask moi, dressing rooms are as sacred as bedrooms. And I'm sure I.B. would agree--well, actually, maybe not. I mean, if that were the case, she'd prolly have a nicer wardrobe. IT'S NOT: Hilary Duff; Kelly Clarkson; Nicole Richie Britney Spears
70. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/25
Which actor who credited a miracle product with regrowing his chestnut mane is the butt of Hollywood jokes after a recent, less-than-stunningly successful visit to the hair-plug doctor? Matthew McConaughey
71. NY DAILY NEWS/BEN WIDDICOMBE 02/26
Which unmarried Oscar nominee/heartthrob had an affair with a male wardrobe assistant on a recent project? Jake Gyllenhaal; George Clooney
72. Billy Masters 02/27
Could it be that a certain svelte singing stud isn't quite the ladies' man the press makes him out to be? So say sources close to the colorful cad, who tell me that at heart, he's a nice boy who likes other nice boys. And if you hear otherwise, you don't know Jack. Allegedly, he only indulges in same-sex sodomy when he's drunk. Just don't bring it up the next day, or he'll bitch slap ya! Maroon 5's Adam Levine
73. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 02/27
What starstruck mogul's wife has been badgering his staff to make sure she's invited to all this week's Oscar bashes? Rupert Murdoch's wife Wendi Deng
74. NY DAILY NEWS/RUSH AND MOLLOY 02/28
Which high-profile hip hopper always keeps his male hairstylist on hand - and not just to handle his locks? Industry types have been talking about how the two guys have been getting it on. P Diddy
Last updated: March 19, 2007